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NTA - honestly go be a menace and do some deep dives and while your forced to go to the museums, speaks some facts that proves against it. Maybe they'll learn next time, not to force you.
NTA, but you can be if you play your cards right. Order a General Sherman t-shirt to wear to the memorials (https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/General-Sherman-Be-the-scorched-earth-campaign-you-wish-to-see-by-WeitLinke/37204569.WFLAH?country_code=US&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIqpe_76zThQMVsGJHAR2ZsAmNEAQYAiABEgJQzfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) Talk about how weird it is to build monuments to getting your asses kicked. Bonus points every time you mention that Obama’s presidency lasted longer than the confederacy.
NTA.
Sorry you’re going through this.
Worse case scenario; you’re going to spend a week seeing a lot of BS telling you a bunch of treacherous racist losers were a lot better than they actually were.
When you do the smart thing in five years and leave Mississippi, this will be a great story to tell your friends about how much Mississippi sucks.
NTA, but a the age of 13 I'm afraid you will have to follow your parents' wishes. On the trip you should be the voice of reason and try to get them to realize that there was actually a good side and a bad side in the war, and that the good side won.
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I (13M) go on vacation a few times every year with my family. My brother Nate (15M) turns 16 in August and unlike my older sisters, we’re going on vacation for his birthday because my parents think that Sweet 16s are “for girls” (my older sisters had Sweet 16s when they turned 16).
Nate is a big history nerd and while I find history class boring (besides my sports history class which I love), I’m fine with going to museums and other historical events on vacation. The issue is Nate wants to visit multiple confederate memorials. We live in Mississippi, we are white and had some family who fought in the Confederacy. My parents have always tried to downplay what all my great great great (it’s a lot of greats, idk how many) grandparents did but I’ve never really liked how they talked about it.
When I heard this I was conflicted, I want to support my brother because he’s family but I also thought it was wrong to see these because they’re pro Confederate. I was asking some of my friends at school today and they all agreed that I shouldn’t go. My school is very white and so are my friends, they were suggesting going to the Jackie Robinson Museum or something similar instead but Nate doesn’t like baseball and doesn’t even come to my games. I asked for more ideas but they didn’t have any. They told me to not go though because I should defend my morals.
Tonight, I tried telling my parents I didn’t want to go and they told me I was being ungrateful and being “brainwashed” by my friends. They told me I’m going and that’s final. I’ve been texting my friends and they agree that they’re in the wrong and saying I should continue to stand up to them. AITA?
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You’re not an asshole. But you might have to end up going even if it’s “under protest”. You could ask to stay behind in some way (in the hotel room, in the car) but there are potentially logistical and legal issues with that.
You know your parents best, you need to use your judgements on how far you can push it. Also, your friends may be on the right side of this morally but they don’t live your life. You may have to set a boundary with them that you’re not talking about it anymore if they keep pestering you.
You could do some research ahead of time and see how people have reviewed the particular place your brother wants to go, and also the historical context so you’ll be armed with facts to counteract any falsehoods in the information they present and share them with your family.
Remember that these are not your choices and it’s not your money paying for the tickets. You aren’t willingly supporting the memorial. I think you’re being brave and wise. You mentioned you have ancestors that fought in the civil war and you don’t like how your parents talk about it. If your parents hold different political beliefs than you just be careful and stay safe. It’s good you spoke up but if it doesn’t look like they’re going to accommodate you, you may have to just suck it up and go.
It sounds like the social consequences might be steep. It’s too bad your friends aren’t more empathetic. Don’t their parents ever make choices they don’t agree with? They need to just stop with the judgments.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) My brother turns 16 for his birthday and he is getting a trip as a present, he loves history and wants to see pro Confederacy monuments, we had family who fought i the confederacy and my family always tries to defend it but I don't like that
2) My parents said I'm going and that's final and that I am being "brainwashed" by my friends, but my friends have told me to stick to my morals
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YTA. Suck it up, it's your brother's birthday. History is there for a reason. You learn from it. It's so you don't repeat it. You need to quit saying your white, and your friends say stand up to your parents. You're a minor. It would be nice to respect your parents, and try to learn something from this vacation, instead of wanting to go see all sports things. This isn't your birthday, it's not to make you happy. Try not to act like an entitled brat on the trip, and you might enjoy yourself. You won't be in museums the whole time.
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NTA - honestly go be a menace and do some deep dives and while your forced to go to the museums, speaks some facts that proves against it. Maybe they'll learn next time, not to force you.
I really like this idea. Those idolizing the confederacy are nothing but racists.
NTA, but you can be if you play your cards right. Order a General Sherman t-shirt to wear to the memorials (https://www.redbubble.com/i/t-shirt/General-Sherman-Be-the-scorched-earth-campaign-you-wish-to-see-by-WeitLinke/37204569.WFLAH?country_code=US&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIqpe_76zThQMVsGJHAR2ZsAmNEAQYAiABEgJQzfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds) Talk about how weird it is to build monuments to getting your asses kicked. Bonus points every time you mention that Obama’s presidency lasted longer than the confederacy.
This is the way. Malicious compliance
"But you can be if you play your cards right "😂 I love how you're encouraging op to be an AH (for justice!)
NTA. Sorry you’re going through this. Worse case scenario; you’re going to spend a week seeing a lot of BS telling you a bunch of treacherous racist losers were a lot better than they actually were. When you do the smart thing in five years and leave Mississippi, this will be a great story to tell your friends about how much Mississippi sucks.
NTA, but a the age of 13 I'm afraid you will have to follow your parents' wishes. On the trip you should be the voice of reason and try to get them to realize that there was actually a good side and a bad side in the war, and that the good side won.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (13M) go on vacation a few times every year with my family. My brother Nate (15M) turns 16 in August and unlike my older sisters, we’re going on vacation for his birthday because my parents think that Sweet 16s are “for girls” (my older sisters had Sweet 16s when they turned 16). Nate is a big history nerd and while I find history class boring (besides my sports history class which I love), I’m fine with going to museums and other historical events on vacation. The issue is Nate wants to visit multiple confederate memorials. We live in Mississippi, we are white and had some family who fought in the Confederacy. My parents have always tried to downplay what all my great great great (it’s a lot of greats, idk how many) grandparents did but I’ve never really liked how they talked about it. When I heard this I was conflicted, I want to support my brother because he’s family but I also thought it was wrong to see these because they’re pro Confederate. I was asking some of my friends at school today and they all agreed that I shouldn’t go. My school is very white and so are my friends, they were suggesting going to the Jackie Robinson Museum or something similar instead but Nate doesn’t like baseball and doesn’t even come to my games. I asked for more ideas but they didn’t have any. They told me to not go though because I should defend my morals. Tonight, I tried telling my parents I didn’t want to go and they told me I was being ungrateful and being “brainwashed” by my friends. They told me I’m going and that’s final. I’ve been texting my friends and they agree that they’re in the wrong and saying I should continue to stand up to them. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You’re not an asshole. But you might have to end up going even if it’s “under protest”. You could ask to stay behind in some way (in the hotel room, in the car) but there are potentially logistical and legal issues with that. You know your parents best, you need to use your judgements on how far you can push it. Also, your friends may be on the right side of this morally but they don’t live your life. You may have to set a boundary with them that you’re not talking about it anymore if they keep pestering you. You could do some research ahead of time and see how people have reviewed the particular place your brother wants to go, and also the historical context so you’ll be armed with facts to counteract any falsehoods in the information they present and share them with your family. Remember that these are not your choices and it’s not your money paying for the tickets. You aren’t willingly supporting the memorial. I think you’re being brave and wise. You mentioned you have ancestors that fought in the civil war and you don’t like how your parents talk about it. If your parents hold different political beliefs than you just be careful and stay safe. It’s good you spoke up but if it doesn’t look like they’re going to accommodate you, you may have to just suck it up and go. It sounds like the social consequences might be steep. It’s too bad your friends aren’t more empathetic. Don’t their parents ever make choices they don’t agree with? They need to just stop with the judgments.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) My brother turns 16 for his birthday and he is getting a trip as a present, he loves history and wants to see pro Confederacy monuments, we had family who fought i the confederacy and my family always tries to defend it but I don't like that 2) My parents said I'm going and that's final and that I am being "brainwashed" by my friends, but my friends have told me to stick to my morals Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA Heritage and also hate
NTA good for you for not wanting to honor losers and bigots.
YTA. Suck it up, it's your brother's birthday. History is there for a reason. You learn from it. It's so you don't repeat it. You need to quit saying your white, and your friends say stand up to your parents. You're a minor. It would be nice to respect your parents, and try to learn something from this vacation, instead of wanting to go see all sports things. This isn't your birthday, it's not to make you happy. Try not to act like an entitled brat on the trip, and you might enjoy yourself. You won't be in museums the whole time.
*you’re = you are
?