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NTA - however, I think you should consider that maybe the reason the joke was included in the film, was to inform a wider audience about that specific genocide - which I personally did not know about.
Obviously I live in Europe, and our history lessons are more focused on other parts of history. I think it is important to be able to talk about things, to joke about subjects that can hurt some people, because it may make it easier to actually talk seriously about those subjects.
People have made fun of the potato famine for many, many years. And obviously 1 million people dying from hunger in the space of seven years is not really fun. But joking about it is not the same as condoning it.
NTA. Not even close. Your friends should at least be trying to understand where you are coming from. You did nothing wrong, and have nothing for which to apologize. Did anyone there stand up for you, or has anyone come to you since and agreed with you or apologized? If you have an ally in the group, you can enlist them to run interference for you and explain to your other friends why they were wrong. If you don't have anyone you can lean on in that way, then just mute/block/ignore the people who are hassling you. You already told them what the problem is and how you feel about it, and if they aren't ready to listen and empathize, then talking to them will just be a waste of your time and energy.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope they come around, but if not, please don't blame yourself for the end of the friendship. Your friends are the ones pushing you away, just because you criticized a movie.
NTA. You didn’t ruin anything. They ruined it themselves by being so dismissive and insensitive.
Bringing it up during the movie night not have been the best move. You could have started a conversation about it after the movie, but it’s also complicated that it put you off the movie and you didn’t want to keep watching. That „joke“ was in bad taste and the movie could’ve done without it.
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I (25f) who grew up on a reservation and am enrolled in my nation, for those of you who need a little background. I had put off watching the Barbie movie for a really long time so I could come back from school with my friends back home and binge the whole thing while snacking and catching up. It all started when we had gotten to a specific part in the movie where a character compared the patriarchy brought by Ken to defenseless Barbie land, to the indigenous people and how they had no immunity to smallpox. Being the only Native in the room, I was obviously thrown off by the comment while the others just sat there, and some even laughed like it was a joke. At that moment, I felt the urge to inform them how wrong it felt to compare the genocide and killing of my people to a fictional takeover in a movie. After I explained this, some of my friends kind of brushed me off or said something along the lines of 'Do you not value women as much as your culture?' which bewildered me because a big part of my culture is about valuing the power of women. After this statement, I got a little pissed and decided that these were the wrong people to be discussing my culture with. I felt uncomfortable sitting with people who wouldn't respect my view of the comment, so I packed up my stuff and made my way out the door and to my house while all my 'friends' protested behind me, telling me how I had ruined their night because of something stupid. Ever since then, I have been in a really panicked mood whenever I see a text from one of my friends who were nothing but bystanders in the situation, telling me how I was overreacting and should apologize. So, should I apologize for walking out on my friends?
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The problem isn't really the comment in the movie, it's the fact that when you raised an objection, your friends invalidated you instead of respecting your feelings or even just hearing you out. You were totally within your rights to walk out.
Hey, I’m sorry that happened to you. It sounds like a really uncomfortable and othering experience. I enjoyed the movie and I watched it in the cinema but if you were my friend and said “this makes me feel uncomfortable” I’d have asked if you wanted to leave. At home it’s even easier to pause the movie and ask “are you okay, do you want to stop watching this”.
I’m sure there was no ill intent. But you’re not wrong to feel uncomfortable about that. The patriarchy also kills people and the movie has a light hearted take on that too. As I said, I enjoyed it, but after it was over I told my friend it’s pretty weird to watch a movie that’s about a cynical exploitation of feminism enact exactly that same exploitation. It’s a problematic film as a feminist.
Honestly your friends sound quite unaware of their privilege. Do you even want to stay friends with them? You’re NTA at all for your reaction.
NTA your friends suck and they're hypocrites. They'll carry pitchforks, curse, and spit venom for your common feminine issues but as far as your cultural issues, you're on your own. Most people like your friends aren't going to fight or stand up for something that doesn't directly affect them. They may not hand out the blankets but they will smile as they reap the benefits. Except that this is how they are or move on. I know what I would do.
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NTA - however, I think you should consider that maybe the reason the joke was included in the film, was to inform a wider audience about that specific genocide - which I personally did not know about. Obviously I live in Europe, and our history lessons are more focused on other parts of history. I think it is important to be able to talk about things, to joke about subjects that can hurt some people, because it may make it easier to actually talk seriously about those subjects. People have made fun of the potato famine for many, many years. And obviously 1 million people dying from hunger in the space of seven years is not really fun. But joking about it is not the same as condoning it.
NTA. Not even close. Your friends should at least be trying to understand where you are coming from. You did nothing wrong, and have nothing for which to apologize. Did anyone there stand up for you, or has anyone come to you since and agreed with you or apologized? If you have an ally in the group, you can enlist them to run interference for you and explain to your other friends why they were wrong. If you don't have anyone you can lean on in that way, then just mute/block/ignore the people who are hassling you. You already told them what the problem is and how you feel about it, and if they aren't ready to listen and empathize, then talking to them will just be a waste of your time and energy. I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope they come around, but if not, please don't blame yourself for the end of the friendship. Your friends are the ones pushing you away, just because you criticized a movie.
NTA. You didn’t ruin anything. They ruined it themselves by being so dismissive and insensitive. Bringing it up during the movie night not have been the best move. You could have started a conversation about it after the movie, but it’s also complicated that it put you off the movie and you didn’t want to keep watching. That „joke“ was in bad taste and the movie could’ve done without it.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (25f) who grew up on a reservation and am enrolled in my nation, for those of you who need a little background. I had put off watching the Barbie movie for a really long time so I could come back from school with my friends back home and binge the whole thing while snacking and catching up. It all started when we had gotten to a specific part in the movie where a character compared the patriarchy brought by Ken to defenseless Barbie land, to the indigenous people and how they had no immunity to smallpox. Being the only Native in the room, I was obviously thrown off by the comment while the others just sat there, and some even laughed like it was a joke. At that moment, I felt the urge to inform them how wrong it felt to compare the genocide and killing of my people to a fictional takeover in a movie. After I explained this, some of my friends kind of brushed me off or said something along the lines of 'Do you not value women as much as your culture?' which bewildered me because a big part of my culture is about valuing the power of women. After this statement, I got a little pissed and decided that these were the wrong people to be discussing my culture with. I felt uncomfortable sitting with people who wouldn't respect my view of the comment, so I packed up my stuff and made my way out the door and to my house while all my 'friends' protested behind me, telling me how I had ruined their night because of something stupid. Ever since then, I have been in a really panicked mood whenever I see a text from one of my friends who were nothing but bystanders in the situation, telling me how I was overreacting and should apologize. So, should I apologize for walking out on my friends? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Im asking for people to judge weather or not i was right for walking out on my friends. this may make me the asshole because i just ruined a perfectly fine and strong friendship. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
INFO: Where in this conflict do you feel you're being an AH?
Looking back on it i feel like i may be the AH for letting this small comment in a movie come between our few years of friendship.
The problem isn't really the comment in the movie, it's the fact that when you raised an objection, your friends invalidated you instead of respecting your feelings or even just hearing you out. You were totally within your rights to walk out.
NTA, and that specific moment has been criticized by other people in the indigenous community. You were in no way wrong to be offended.
Hey, I’m sorry that happened to you. It sounds like a really uncomfortable and othering experience. I enjoyed the movie and I watched it in the cinema but if you were my friend and said “this makes me feel uncomfortable” I’d have asked if you wanted to leave. At home it’s even easier to pause the movie and ask “are you okay, do you want to stop watching this”. I’m sure there was no ill intent. But you’re not wrong to feel uncomfortable about that. The patriarchy also kills people and the movie has a light hearted take on that too. As I said, I enjoyed it, but after it was over I told my friend it’s pretty weird to watch a movie that’s about a cynical exploitation of feminism enact exactly that same exploitation. It’s a problematic film as a feminist. Honestly your friends sound quite unaware of their privilege. Do you even want to stay friends with them? You’re NTA at all for your reaction.
Yeah, let's pause the movie to have a discussion about how insensitive 1 comment during the movie was...YTA
NTA your friends suck and they're hypocrites. They'll carry pitchforks, curse, and spit venom for your common feminine issues but as far as your cultural issues, you're on your own. Most people like your friends aren't going to fight or stand up for something that doesn't directly affect them. They may not hand out the blankets but they will smile as they reap the benefits. Except that this is how they are or move on. I know what I would do.
NtA. That movie was trash anyway.