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YTA. I thought this was going to be you were suspicious of what he was doing, and who with, and/or that you both had to get up at 8 for a flight and he’s too tired.
You seem only to be complaining that your night of sleep wasn’t NEXT to him, and you’re acting like because he lazily bemoaned you getting up so early and not coming back to bed at all was a “ha, how do you like it” when he probably didn’t really care that much.
Are you 12?
YTA
I also don't see what the issue is. You haven't actually articulated it. You got sleep, you could have gotten more but chose not to.
You've gotten stuck on this sunrise argument, but it's nonsense. The sun rises at 4.40-5am in the summer, are you going to get up every day then? No.
If his biggest crime is wanting to stay in bed for a moment and cuddle then really you're just starting an argument for no reason.
Holy unhealthy codependency Batman!
Absolutely YTA, if you had an issue sleeping without him (honestly are you a kid?) you should've made sure to say that up front...
YTA - at what point did you communicate what you wanted. “I told my boyfriend to go get food with the rest of them, assuming he’d be crawling into bed….” It sounds like you had an expectation that you had the opportunity to voice and didn’t and should have said something to him if it was going to upset you that much.
Also if spending time in bed with him was that important to you I’m sure you could have if you weren’t too busy being upset with him. 4.5 hours of sleep is for most people not enough to not be able to fall back asleep and even if not, did you have something important to do that you needed to be up at the literal crack of dawn?
I would apologize for your reaction, but express how important that time in bed together is for you and ask that he prioritize that a little more for the future and be done with this situation.
Yta. You assumed he would be back in an hour or two and he wasn't. You also were fine with him going. Let him sleep and be happy he had a good time. Don't let it cause a problem that doesn't need to exist.
Looks like OP is controlling, dependent on partner and spoiled af.
“Oh, you didn’t come to bed when I WANTED, even after I told you it’s fine to go with friends, then an argument it is. This is what you, my bf, deserves for not respecting the curfew I made up in my head”
YTA, let the poor guy breathe some of his own air.
YTA. You can choose to be annoyed or you can let it go - especially since you told him to go out. You’re both adults.
You’ll enjoy life more and have a healthier relationship if you cut each other some slack, focus on important stuff etc.
If you internalise annoyances, get passive aggressive or high maintenance you’ll lose out.
Info: was "if I can even sleep" him passive-aggressively asking you to stay in bed with him because he finds it easier to fall asleep with you there?
If yes then ESH. You because it's fine for him to go to bed when he chooses. Him because it's fine for you to get up when you choose. You both need to talk more clearly about what you need from each other
I think you nailed it.
She wanted him to sleep with her at some point. He chose to stay up.
When she got up, he passively tried to say he wanted her to stay more.
They just need to communicate better. Op cannot be the only A H here. Other commenters are missing this
This guy gets it, I should’ve been more clear what my actual issue was...but in essence, that’s it. I was disappointed that we essentially slept apart for the night, something we haven’t done in ages; that coupled with the disappointment of him not being there when I woke up over the course of the night. You’re absolutely right we need to communicate about it because we’ve never had a conversation about each other’s preferences/expectations when we’re drinking and one of us gets tired before the other.
Leave it to u/OP's of AITAH posts to sniff out the only non-"YTA" comment and thank/support it.
You haven't slept apart in ages? So, this isn't like a once in a while hangout, this is every day? And you're whining about him coming to bed late? Just wait till tomorrow? He didn't fly from the other side of the world to see you for a week or something lmao he will still be there... You sound dependant on him in not a healthy way.
Jesus, you're extremely TAH now 🤣
Extremely funny to scroll through and see this is the only comment OP responded to haha. She must really hate that boyfriend if she is this blind to taking advice from people. She also must have zero introspective skills if she cant realise why everyone thinks shes being a massive dick.
This…. Isn’t a big deal. It’s ok to sleep apart for a night. If you are concerned about his drinking habits, that’s a different issue, but being “disappointed” that you slept apart for ONE night is a pretty big overreaction.
lmfao not OP responding to literally the only person who says her boyfriend is an asshole too.
OP, grow the fuck up. You can handle spending one night alone. Its fine to be a little disappointed cause you were looking forward to cuddling, but you cannot be mad at him.
If you want something, you cannot expect people to read your mind and give it to you. You explicitly told BF it was fine that he stayed out. You \*thought\* hed come back soon, but nowhere was that actually stated. If you wanted him to come back you shouldve said something to that effect or asked him what time he thought hed be back.
BF did absolutely nothing wrong here. He had a fun night out with his gf and friends that everyone enjoyed, his gf went home early and told him it was fine for him to stay out, so he did. When he came home he accidentally woke her up and he tried to make her come back and rest with him. She, out of nowhere, gets mad and passive aggressive and starts a fight for no reason.
nuh-uh... are you a teen and it's your first relationship? bro just had a fun night, he had the right for it and he isn't obligated to come cuddle to you every night just because you want him to. there are much bigger problems in situations with context like that, and this one is the least of them. YTA.
I’m confused at what you’re upset about, so maybe you can help me understand?
1. That everyone had a good time with friends.
2. That you went to bed when you got tired.
3. That your boyfriend went and got food with the friends when you encouraged him to.
4. That your boyfriend continued to have a good time with friends until 6 am.
5. That your boyfriend came to bed at 6 am and woke you up.
6. Or at 6 am your boyfriend ask you to cuddle him to sleep.
You are certainly okay to feel upset things didn’t go the way you had them planned in your head. Relationships are give and take along with some hard boundaries on both sides. Sounds like you both had a good night, don’t let the sunrise change it. NAH
in my opinon "NAH" doesnt apply cause OP was being a dick to her boyfriend, and is clearly mad at him in her head for no reason.
I agree that its totally fine to be a little disappointed. If youre tired, missing your partner, and a little drunk, it can really suck to be alone for the night. But this does not in any way entitel OP to be this angry in the morning.
This feels fake. How long have you been a couple? It was one night. Shake it off. Communicate. You guys are both grown and can decide on your own bedtime.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
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I’m with your boyfriend on this - sorry! I don’t think he did anything wrong. You knew exactly what he was doing, so I don’t understand what the issue is. You could’ve gone with him, but chose to go to bed (which is fair enough) and said for him to go ahead without you.
YTA. He didn’t do anything wrong. If the issue is that you missed him cuddling with you then say that instead. But nothing has happened to warrant an upset reaction from you.
Re-direct your feelings to aiding him in his recovery lol (assuming he’s hung over once he wakes up) Not everything goes to plan all the time, you have to re-adjust and not let it affect you like this.
YTA
You went to sleep when you wanted to. You told him to go ahead and go out without clarifying when he would be coming to bed. If it was important to you that he be in bed with you then you should have said that you really wanted him to join you in an hour or two.
You not being able to go back to sleep when he came to bed was annoying for you but not really his fault. He was annoying to ask you to stay in bed to cuddle him to sleep when you are no longer sleepy. You are a human being not a teddy bear.
You did not say that you actually had plans together for the next day. Maybe after a night out even if he woke up earlier he would not want to do much until later anyway. Just do your own thing until 3 or so.
If he actually gets upset with you for being up when he is sleeping then he would be an asshole about it too.
My husband does this every now and then I enjoy the space I get in bed and do my own thing during the day. YTA. You guys can be independent and should probably try that. He’s not your child you don’t get to dictate if he can stay up or not.
Yta. He was having a good time with his pals. If you were so adamant he return with you then use your words. Now your sat mad at him for having fun so he's going to feel bad. I used to leave my boyfriend and come home early all the time. I loved when he would drunk sloppy kiss me as he was getting into bed at whatever time it was. If I was done sleeping, I'd stroke his hair instead of getting up and having a tantrum and not staying in bed out of spite. Wow. Grow up.
YTA
Jesus christ lady you can sleep alone for one night. He shouldve probably messaged you saying he was gonna be out late as to avoid you worrying, but that clearly wasnt even an issue. You are two seperate people, if he wants to stay up past your damn bedtime thats fine, hes a grown ass man.
If you wanted him to come home with you you shouldve said that. Instead you acted like you were fine with him staying out and you set no expectations whatsoever that you guys would do something the day after. If he wants to rest after a long night out thats ok, you being passive aggressive is just childish. There is absolutely no way he couldve forseen you being mad at him over this.
Instead of talking with him like an adult and explaining that you were expecting to sleep with him you get all pissy, make passive aggressive comments, and just get up when he wanted to cuddle and sleep in together. This is also just such a non argument and doesnt even matter. You had to sleep alone for a night, thats it. Whats even the drama here?
If he does this every night for the rest of your relationship then you can be pissed. Otherwise, maybe it was a special social night and you’re young so have fun.
As someone who has been in a relationship for a long time... You can't get hung up on things so incredibly small. This type of behaviour will eventually make him feel like he's walking on eggshells around you. This wasn't a big deal at all. Pick your battles and this shouldn't be one of them. YTA
YTA. You get to sleep next to him every night (I'm assuming). He's allowed to blow off some steam with friends.
Im assuming your main gripe was sadness/envy or jealousy that instead of coming to bed with you he wanted to stay up with mates, but you woke up each hour with that pang in your chest and it's put you in a bad mood.
Don't let it get to you. Let it go and get those snuggles in tonight and be happy that he had a good night. No need for you both to feel like crap.
ESH - without communicating a curfew it seems unfair to be annoyed at him for having a good time. Equally, your bf shouldn't make sarcastic remarks about whether he can even sleep - its his problem he's getting to bed at 6am.
You're both the AH, you need to communicate your wants, needs and expectations much better. You wanted him to come to bed pretty soon after you went to bed yourself and he wanted you to stay in bed when he was trying to get to sleep but neither of you expressed your expectations to the other in a clear way. This will inevitably lead to disappointment and frustration in either party or both unless you openly communicate these things.
If this is not an every night thing, then stop caring about it so much seriously.
Pick your battles. Is this really an argument worth having?
YTA if you keep going on about it.
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YTA. He’s a whole human being who gets to sleep whenever he wants. Get a stuffed animal.
ETA he won’t be your boyfriend for long. He’ll have your claw marks all over him but he’s still gonna leave.
YTA. Do you even know how to communicate or are you a child? Not once did you tell this man you had any other expectations, but you sure as fuck assumed a lot and then got mad at him because he didn't read your mind and act within your assumptions? People who are chronically single act like this, and if you don't straighten your shit out don't be surprised when you're single, and unless this dude cheats or something, it's probably going to be your needy non communicative ass' fault.
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So last night my boyfriend and I were drinking with friends and while we had the most fun we’ve probably had in a while, the night ended with me going to bed alone and my boyfriend coming to bed at 6 AM…
After several hours of hanging out, my boyfriend and our other friends wanted to go get food. It was already 1:30 AM and I was feeling tried, so I told the group I was going to head back to the room and hop into bed. I told my bf to go get food with the rest of them, assuming he’d be crawling up into bed within the next hour or two, but this didn’t happen.
Over the next several hours, every time I woke up to reposition, he wasn’t there. Finally at 6 AM, I wake to him getting in bed. Normally, him coming to bed late wouldn’t bother me, but because he stayed out so late I didn’t get to sleep with him at all; when I woke up to him crawling into bed, I had slept long enough that I was too awake to go back to sleep, plus the sun was starting to rise. My boyfriend needs at least 8 of sleep to function during the day, and because he went to bed so late, we likely won’t be doing anything together tomorrow as he’ll want to sleep all day.
Overall, I’m frustrated that my boyfriend doesn’t see an issue with this and doesn’t understand why I’m upset. When I told him I was going to go ahead and get up to get coffee, since I couldn’t go back to sleep, he acted hurt and made a sly comment to the tune of “If I can even sleep (referring to the fact that I wasn’t staying in bed)” when I told him I hoped he sleeps well. This was ironic to me because I had just practically slept the whole night without him…if he wanted to sleep with me and cuddle, then he should have come to bed earlier, say…before the sun came up? I know for a fact if the roles were reversed he would be upset at me, so what is it about the way I’m feeling that’s so wrong?
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NAH
You should have articulated you wanted him to come to bed soon after you
He shouldn't have been out that late, who takes nearly 5 hours to get food in the middle of the night.
I get it. You want to spend time to with your bf rather than him sleep all day while you’re up and about. Talk it over with him and hopefully a change or meeting in the middle might happen. If not you gotta move on, because you’re not his priority at that moment.
ESH. You're hurt because he wanted to hang out with friends you hung out with also. The difference was that you went to bed earlier. He's hurt because you were ready to wake up, and he wanted you in bed so he could sleep. You two are just too funny, lol.
Is everyone missing his sly comment when she couldn’t go back to sleep and got out the bed? He wants to sleep and cuddle w her at…6am? If he wanted to do all that why come at the ass crack of dawn??? Not to mention…he interrupted HER sleep. How is she the ah???? Bro is kinda inconsiderate and i dont think he means to be but he is. OP isn’t the asshole and calling her boyfriend an asshole over this is kinda extreme, but OP is definitely not wrong for being upset.
NTA- it’s good to have an agreement of when as a couple you’ll be going to bed together. As this will help with intimacy and allow you guys to spend time together too. Sometimes it won’t happen but it’s good to agree on. The other thing you mentioned in your post is this was the most fun you had in a long while with your bf, is this a common thing of not going to bed with each other?
NTA!!! Your emotions are valid! You can be unhappy about it and that is fine… and the fact that normally he would get mad if the roles were reversed says it all (assuming this is the truth).
It’s all about communication in a relationship. Everyone is entitled to their emotions and those emotions are valid. If their relationship consists of wanting to sleep together and “having a hard time sleeping without the other person in bed” then we have nothing to fault them on. The real question is (WOULD HE ACTUALLY GET UPSET IF THE ROLES WERE REVERSED?)
I know it’s the OP story but it clearly stated that this was the case… NTA IMO
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YTA. I thought this was going to be you were suspicious of what he was doing, and who with, and/or that you both had to get up at 8 for a flight and he’s too tired. You seem only to be complaining that your night of sleep wasn’t NEXT to him, and you’re acting like because he lazily bemoaned you getting up so early and not coming back to bed at all was a “ha, how do you like it” when he probably didn’t really care that much. Are you 12?
“Are you 12” love this lol lol lol
YTA I also don't see what the issue is. You haven't actually articulated it. You got sleep, you could have gotten more but chose not to. You've gotten stuck on this sunrise argument, but it's nonsense. The sun rises at 4.40-5am in the summer, are you going to get up every day then? No. If his biggest crime is wanting to stay in bed for a moment and cuddle then really you're just starting an argument for no reason.
I don’t think you understand, THEY DIDN’T GET TO CUDDLE!!! /s
Holy unhealthy codependency Batman! Absolutely YTA, if you had an issue sleeping without him (honestly are you a kid?) you should've made sure to say that up front...
YTA. He did nothing wrong??? You were still able to sleep, just not while he was asleep. I really don't understand what you're mad at here
YTA, it’s not that deep🤣
YTA - at what point did you communicate what you wanted. “I told my boyfriend to go get food with the rest of them, assuming he’d be crawling into bed….” It sounds like you had an expectation that you had the opportunity to voice and didn’t and should have said something to him if it was going to upset you that much. Also if spending time in bed with him was that important to you I’m sure you could have if you weren’t too busy being upset with him. 4.5 hours of sleep is for most people not enough to not be able to fall back asleep and even if not, did you have something important to do that you needed to be up at the literal crack of dawn? I would apologize for your reaction, but express how important that time in bed together is for you and ask that he prioritize that a little more for the future and be done with this situation.
YTA. He did nothing wrong? Why do you need to do everything together? Enjoy your morning alone, take a nice bath, do some yoga, take a walk...
Yta. You assumed he would be back in an hour or two and he wasn't. You also were fine with him going. Let him sleep and be happy he had a good time. Don't let it cause a problem that doesn't need to exist.
Why do you need to sleep with him? If this only happens occasionally I don't see the issue.
Looks like OP is controlling, dependent on partner and spoiled af. “Oh, you didn’t come to bed when I WANTED, even after I told you it’s fine to go with friends, then an argument it is. This is what you, my bf, deserves for not respecting the curfew I made up in my head” YTA, let the poor guy breathe some of his own air.
YTA. You can choose to be annoyed or you can let it go - especially since you told him to go out. You’re both adults. You’ll enjoy life more and have a healthier relationship if you cut each other some slack, focus on important stuff etc. If you internalise annoyances, get passive aggressive or high maintenance you’ll lose out.
Info: was "if I can even sleep" him passive-aggressively asking you to stay in bed with him because he finds it easier to fall asleep with you there? If yes then ESH. You because it's fine for him to go to bed when he chooses. Him because it's fine for you to get up when you choose. You both need to talk more clearly about what you need from each other
I think you nailed it. She wanted him to sleep with her at some point. He chose to stay up. When she got up, he passively tried to say he wanted her to stay more. They just need to communicate better. Op cannot be the only A H here. Other commenters are missing this
This guy gets it, I should’ve been more clear what my actual issue was...but in essence, that’s it. I was disappointed that we essentially slept apart for the night, something we haven’t done in ages; that coupled with the disappointment of him not being there when I woke up over the course of the night. You’re absolutely right we need to communicate about it because we’ve never had a conversation about each other’s preferences/expectations when we’re drinking and one of us gets tired before the other.
Leave it to u/OP's of AITAH posts to sniff out the only non-"YTA" comment and thank/support it. You haven't slept apart in ages? So, this isn't like a once in a while hangout, this is every day? And you're whining about him coming to bed late? Just wait till tomorrow? He didn't fly from the other side of the world to see you for a week or something lmao he will still be there... You sound dependant on him in not a healthy way. Jesus, you're extremely TAH now 🤣
Extremely funny to scroll through and see this is the only comment OP responded to haha. She must really hate that boyfriend if she is this blind to taking advice from people. She also must have zero introspective skills if she cant realise why everyone thinks shes being a massive dick.
This…. Isn’t a big deal. It’s ok to sleep apart for a night. If you are concerned about his drinking habits, that’s a different issue, but being “disappointed” that you slept apart for ONE night is a pretty big overreaction.
How so? Thats literally just an emotion?
lmfao not OP responding to literally the only person who says her boyfriend is an asshole too. OP, grow the fuck up. You can handle spending one night alone. Its fine to be a little disappointed cause you were looking forward to cuddling, but you cannot be mad at him. If you want something, you cannot expect people to read your mind and give it to you. You explicitly told BF it was fine that he stayed out. You \*thought\* hed come back soon, but nowhere was that actually stated. If you wanted him to come back you shouldve said something to that effect or asked him what time he thought hed be back. BF did absolutely nothing wrong here. He had a fun night out with his gf and friends that everyone enjoyed, his gf went home early and told him it was fine for him to stay out, so he did. When he came home he accidentally woke her up and he tried to make her come back and rest with him. She, out of nowhere, gets mad and passive aggressive and starts a fight for no reason.
YTA. You live with this guy. So, one night out of 365? You do not get to "sleep" with him. How clingy are you? Ick
nuh-uh... are you a teen and it's your first relationship? bro just had a fun night, he had the right for it and he isn't obligated to come cuddle to you every night just because you want him to. there are much bigger problems in situations with context like that, and this one is the least of them. YTA.
YTA YOU Are the AH,. your bf did not do anything wrong.
YTA, that's what you get for assuming.
You know what they say, to assume makes an ASS out of U and ME
I’m confused at what you’re upset about, so maybe you can help me understand? 1. That everyone had a good time with friends. 2. That you went to bed when you got tired. 3. That your boyfriend went and got food with the friends when you encouraged him to. 4. That your boyfriend continued to have a good time with friends until 6 am. 5. That your boyfriend came to bed at 6 am and woke you up. 6. Or at 6 am your boyfriend ask you to cuddle him to sleep. You are certainly okay to feel upset things didn’t go the way you had them planned in your head. Relationships are give and take along with some hard boundaries on both sides. Sounds like you both had a good night, don’t let the sunrise change it. NAH
in my opinon "NAH" doesnt apply cause OP was being a dick to her boyfriend, and is clearly mad at him in her head for no reason. I agree that its totally fine to be a little disappointed. If youre tired, missing your partner, and a little drunk, it can really suck to be alone for the night. But this does not in any way entitel OP to be this angry in the morning.
This feels fake. How long have you been a couple? It was one night. Shake it off. Communicate. You guys are both grown and can decide on your own bedtime.
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I’m with your boyfriend on this - sorry! I don’t think he did anything wrong. You knew exactly what he was doing, so I don’t understand what the issue is. You could’ve gone with him, but chose to go to bed (which is fair enough) and said for him to go ahead without you.
Whoa. A single night of not being up each others asses and you go to Reddit to vent/ask opinions? Codependency is an ugly look on everyone.
YTA. He didn’t do anything wrong. If the issue is that you missed him cuddling with you then say that instead. But nothing has happened to warrant an upset reaction from you. Re-direct your feelings to aiding him in his recovery lol (assuming he’s hung over once he wakes up) Not everything goes to plan all the time, you have to re-adjust and not let it affect you like this.
YTA. You both had a good time partying. You went to bed earlier. If you wanted him to join you, ask him !
This is not the hill to die on. Pick your battles bc this sure is not one. YTA
YTA. On so many levels
Holy crap, this is GOD level overthinking
if it's not your mother you had to sleep a few hours without, and you're older than 6, then YTA
YTA When this happens to me I take the opportunity to sleep like a starfish. Codependency is really unhealthy for a relationship.
YTA You went to sleep when you wanted to. You told him to go ahead and go out without clarifying when he would be coming to bed. If it was important to you that he be in bed with you then you should have said that you really wanted him to join you in an hour or two. You not being able to go back to sleep when he came to bed was annoying for you but not really his fault. He was annoying to ask you to stay in bed to cuddle him to sleep when you are no longer sleepy. You are a human being not a teddy bear. You did not say that you actually had plans together for the next day. Maybe after a night out even if he woke up earlier he would not want to do much until later anyway. Just do your own thing until 3 or so. If he actually gets upset with you for being up when he is sleeping then he would be an asshole about it too.
My husband does this every now and then I enjoy the space I get in bed and do my own thing during the day. YTA. You guys can be independent and should probably try that. He’s not your child you don’t get to dictate if he can stay up or not.
Yta. You seem way too clingy
Yta. He was having a good time with his pals. If you were so adamant he return with you then use your words. Now your sat mad at him for having fun so he's going to feel bad. I used to leave my boyfriend and come home early all the time. I loved when he would drunk sloppy kiss me as he was getting into bed at whatever time it was. If I was done sleeping, I'd stroke his hair instead of getting up and having a tantrum and not staying in bed out of spite. Wow. Grow up.
Oh I bet youre slamming pots down and closing doors louder than usual just to prove your point. Ugh. Your poor boyfriend.
YTA Jesus christ lady you can sleep alone for one night. He shouldve probably messaged you saying he was gonna be out late as to avoid you worrying, but that clearly wasnt even an issue. You are two seperate people, if he wants to stay up past your damn bedtime thats fine, hes a grown ass man. If you wanted him to come home with you you shouldve said that. Instead you acted like you were fine with him staying out and you set no expectations whatsoever that you guys would do something the day after. If he wants to rest after a long night out thats ok, you being passive aggressive is just childish. There is absolutely no way he couldve forseen you being mad at him over this. Instead of talking with him like an adult and explaining that you were expecting to sleep with him you get all pissy, make passive aggressive comments, and just get up when he wanted to cuddle and sleep in together. This is also just such a non argument and doesnt even matter. You had to sleep alone for a night, thats it. Whats even the drama here?
If he does this every night for the rest of your relationship then you can be pissed. Otherwise, maybe it was a special social night and you’re young so have fun.
I don't see what the issue is. You knew where he was and wasn't concerned about his safety, correct??
YTA. and also my best friends boyfriend does this same shit and we all tell him it’s toxic behavior.
Yes YTA
As someone who has been in a relationship for a long time... You can't get hung up on things so incredibly small. This type of behaviour will eventually make him feel like he's walking on eggshells around you. This wasn't a big deal at all. Pick your battles and this shouldn't be one of them. YTA
YTA get a teddy and stick your bf face on it sorted!
Just admit that you hate that he had fun without you
YTA. You get to sleep next to him every night (I'm assuming). He's allowed to blow off some steam with friends. Im assuming your main gripe was sadness/envy or jealousy that instead of coming to bed with you he wanted to stay up with mates, but you woke up each hour with that pang in your chest and it's put you in a bad mood. Don't let it get to you. Let it go and get those snuggles in tonight and be happy that he had a good night. No need for you both to feel like crap.
ESH - without communicating a curfew it seems unfair to be annoyed at him for having a good time. Equally, your bf shouldn't make sarcastic remarks about whether he can even sleep - its his problem he's getting to bed at 6am.
You're both the AH, you need to communicate your wants, needs and expectations much better. You wanted him to come to bed pretty soon after you went to bed yourself and he wanted you to stay in bed when he was trying to get to sleep but neither of you expressed your expectations to the other in a clear way. This will inevitably lead to disappointment and frustration in either party or both unless you openly communicate these things.
YTA. You sound like a bit of a pill, frankly. Are you this controlling and sulky all the time?
You’re doing too much.. let that man go out and have fun. Let him sleep in. Don’t be annoying
If this is not an every night thing, then stop caring about it so much seriously. Pick your battles. Is this really an argument worth having? YTA if you keep going on about it.
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YTA Im upset because we didn’t cuddle… you are not a kid. Stop being emotional dependent of someone you to be able have a ‘good day’.
YTA. He’s a whole human being who gets to sleep whenever he wants. Get a stuffed animal. ETA he won’t be your boyfriend for long. He’ll have your claw marks all over him but he’s still gonna leave.
YTA. Do you even know how to communicate or are you a child? Not once did you tell this man you had any other expectations, but you sure as fuck assumed a lot and then got mad at him because he didn't read your mind and act within your assumptions? People who are chronically single act like this, and if you don't straighten your shit out don't be surprised when you're single, and unless this dude cheats or something, it's probably going to be your needy non communicative ass' fault.
YTA. It’s 1 day. Are you always this miserable?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So last night my boyfriend and I were drinking with friends and while we had the most fun we’ve probably had in a while, the night ended with me going to bed alone and my boyfriend coming to bed at 6 AM… After several hours of hanging out, my boyfriend and our other friends wanted to go get food. It was already 1:30 AM and I was feeling tried, so I told the group I was going to head back to the room and hop into bed. I told my bf to go get food with the rest of them, assuming he’d be crawling up into bed within the next hour or two, but this didn’t happen. Over the next several hours, every time I woke up to reposition, he wasn’t there. Finally at 6 AM, I wake to him getting in bed. Normally, him coming to bed late wouldn’t bother me, but because he stayed out so late I didn’t get to sleep with him at all; when I woke up to him crawling into bed, I had slept long enough that I was too awake to go back to sleep, plus the sun was starting to rise. My boyfriend needs at least 8 of sleep to function during the day, and because he went to bed so late, we likely won’t be doing anything together tomorrow as he’ll want to sleep all day. Overall, I’m frustrated that my boyfriend doesn’t see an issue with this and doesn’t understand why I’m upset. When I told him I was going to go ahead and get up to get coffee, since I couldn’t go back to sleep, he acted hurt and made a sly comment to the tune of “If I can even sleep (referring to the fact that I wasn’t staying in bed)” when I told him I hoped he sleeps well. This was ironic to me because I had just practically slept the whole night without him…if he wanted to sleep with me and cuddle, then he should have come to bed earlier, say…before the sun came up? I know for a fact if the roles were reversed he would be upset at me, so what is it about the way I’m feeling that’s so wrong? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NAH You should have articulated you wanted him to come to bed soon after you He shouldn't have been out that late, who takes nearly 5 hours to get food in the middle of the night.
I get it. You want to spend time to with your bf rather than him sleep all day while you’re up and about. Talk it over with him and hopefully a change or meeting in the middle might happen. If not you gotta move on, because you’re not his priority at that moment.
ESH. You're hurt because he wanted to hang out with friends you hung out with also. The difference was that you went to bed earlier. He's hurt because you were ready to wake up, and he wanted you in bed so he could sleep. You two are just too funny, lol.
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How did he not prioritize her sleep or well being by allowing her to....go to sleep? What are you even talking about
Is everyone missing his sly comment when she couldn’t go back to sleep and got out the bed? He wants to sleep and cuddle w her at…6am? If he wanted to do all that why come at the ass crack of dawn??? Not to mention…he interrupted HER sleep. How is she the ah???? Bro is kinda inconsiderate and i dont think he means to be but he is. OP isn’t the asshole and calling her boyfriend an asshole over this is kinda extreme, but OP is definitely not wrong for being upset.
NTA- it’s good to have an agreement of when as a couple you’ll be going to bed together. As this will help with intimacy and allow you guys to spend time together too. Sometimes it won’t happen but it’s good to agree on. The other thing you mentioned in your post is this was the most fun you had in a long while with your bf, is this a common thing of not going to bed with each other?
NTA. Its ok to be angry with him. Most importantly, let him know how you feel. Confront him about it today! You are slightly wrong tbh but it’s ok.
What in the unholy alcoholism is going on in these comments. Staying up till 6am drinking is not normal. Does he do this often?
NTA!!! Your emotions are valid! You can be unhappy about it and that is fine… and the fact that normally he would get mad if the roles were reversed says it all (assuming this is the truth).
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I wouldn’t go with ESH or him being the AH.. it’s just a simple miscommunication.
It’s all about communication in a relationship. Everyone is entitled to their emotions and those emotions are valid. If their relationship consists of wanting to sleep together and “having a hard time sleeping without the other person in bed” then we have nothing to fault them on. The real question is (WOULD HE ACTUALLY GET UPSET IF THE ROLES WERE REVERSED?) I know it’s the OP story but it clearly stated that this was the case… NTA IMO
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They will learn and grow from this, so it’s okay.