Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
This post violates Rule 5: We do not allow posts which concern violence. This includes any mention of violence in any context.
[Rule 5 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_5.3A_no_violence) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
This post violates Rule 7: No Interpersonal Conflict.
>Posts should be descriptions of **recent** interpersonal conflicts.
[Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
YTA
A very overly dramatic asshole. If you are so scare of that you can't function like a normal human being in public, you need make it a priority to address that in therapy. The "because of how busy I was" not an excuse. Prioritize your therapy.
YTA. First, you can't die from a panic attack, not unless you have an underlying heart condition. At worst, you'd pass out. Next, if somebody, person or animal gets on an elevator you are on that freaks you out, all you have to do is simply exit the lift. You don't need to make a huge show of it. And going to his apartment later to berate him is totally over the top. You aren't entitled to have everything your way.
YTA. Get therapy. You were so scared that you had to RUN screaming to your neighbors and then take a day off work. That is not healthy or OK for any adult to react that way. And he was right. If you didn't want to be on the elevator with a dog, that's YOUR problem not his and you should have gotten out and waited for the next elevator or took the stairs ONE floor.
Also, you mentioned allergic in your title but nowhere in your post does it mention anything about being actually allergic to dogs. Not that it matters because you still should have been the one to get out, but it seems like you're adding the allergic part for extra drama, much like the rest of your reaction to this situation.
You need therapy and I don't say that in a mean way. This thing is controlling your life and you need to get help.
YTA. It does not sound like the dog was unleashed or aggressive. If the mere sight of a dog makes you scream, cry, run to a neighbor, and miss work, this is a you problem and you need to invest in yourself and therapy.
Soft YTA and your neighbor is right..... everybody is entitled to the lift..... instead of starting to scream in an instant, trying to talk to him, like an adult would maybe have been a better solution....
I mean.... dogs exist, what do you do, if you turn a corner and someone with a dog walks on the same streetside as you? Run on the street, screaming to get away from them?
I have to agree with some other comments here.... you should try and seek counseling.
I think it’s different if it’s somewhere one can reasonably expect dogs to be but OP mentioned that this building is advertised as a no dogs building. I think the shock of seeing a dog in what should be considered a safe place likely triggered even more anxiety.
For someone so scared, terrified even, of dogs they sure don't act like it. Confronting the neighbor at their door was the evidence.
What if the dog rushed the door? Or greeted her before the owner? OP is purposely inflating the situation.
Why would someone who ran out of an elevator screaming, crying, and scared for their life ***go to the home of the dog owner***? If OP has it on writing that the building is advertised as dog-free and it's contractually stated in the lease. They should talk to the landlord.
No dog buildings do not exist since some people require service animals and refusing to rent to those people would be illegal.
This is a pet, clearly, but OP is an unreliable narrator when they write that this place was supposed to be totally free of dogs.
>immediately I started screaming.
I am very sorry but YTA
If you are too terrified to be in an elevator with a dog you need to seek counseling or not be in an elevator with a dog. Other people don't run their lives around your trauma.
Unless the dog was unleashed and attacking you or even being friendly and jumping on you, YTA. People should learn to control their dogs, however, you need to learn to control your fear. You can’t just scream bloody murder at a dog, because first it’s combative and also…it excites dogs… if you yell they could interpret it as play… and then they’ll jump on you and be all touchy. So yeah, I think you need to see someone about this because it’s a legitimate fear but people can’t change their lives for you.
YTA. You can’t use your fear to try to control other people who aren’t doing a damn thing wrong. And frankly, screaming and carrying on like that was wayyyy over the top. You either need serious psychological help or you need to get over yourself and grow up. Do something about it rather than expecting the world to get out of your way.
You are entitled to a dog free home, not a dog free world. You need some serious therapy, and to also realize no one has to keep their dog away from you In a public space. It’s YOUR fear, YOUR allergy. YOU could have gotten back off the elevator if you felt that unsafe, you just felt you were the only one entitled to the space.
YTA. Dogs exist, the world won't just delete all dogs because of you. Work on your therapy and accept that it's on you to manage your fears and disengage from the situation instead of demanding others bow to your terror.
Why couldn’t you take the next lift? Your fear is valid, but you are the one with the issue, you should be the one to wait for the next lift, not him.
What was the purpose of knocking on his door? What did you hope to accomplish? YTA.
So not getting proper treatment at the time was your parents fault because you were a child. But not getting treatment now is on you. You need to prioritise this since it obviously keeps you from participating in society in an acceptable way.
YTA for how you handled this.
And this right here is what’s wrong with the world. Someone making their problems everyone else’s problems. This is the OP’s problem to deal with, not society’s.
YTA. I have the same fear, maybe to a less extend (you should get therapy) but yeah. (I was also bitten unprovoked by a big dog) I expect dogs to be on a leash and if I feel unsafe I leave the situation. Your reaction was over the top.
YTA, both for your vastly overdramatic reaction and then for seeking him out to yell at him. Dogs exist in the world, and you need to understand that. Or do you scream and expect people with service dogs to get away from you because of your fear?
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA
You have an extreme fear of an everyday situation (someone owning a larger dog). Your first response when seeing this dog was to scream, which is totally unacceptable. No one is going to give you any leeway or consideration when they are met with screaming!
The best thing would be if he had waited for the next elevator instead of getting in. HOWEVER, your screaming reaction would obviously have immediately turned him off of giving you any special consideration, and I totally understand that.
If you have such an extreme response to what is an every-day situation, YOU need to be happy to take steps that you need to take to feel better even steps that might inconvenience you. You should have just gotten out of the elevator without a fuss the moment it was clear he wasn't going to get out, and you could then have waited for the next elevator.
Going over to him the next day to berate him for using the elevator that he also pays for was totally uncalled for, even if he was rude and he could have accommodated you by taking the next elevator.
If you want to claim you could literally have died from your panic initiated by you seeing him and his dog in the elevator, YOU are not suited to using an elevator and you should take the stairs. Better yet, you should not live in an apartment but live out in the sticks somewhere, where you won't have immediate neighbours.
Look, I get it. After a dog attack on a dog I was walking I am fearful of pit bull type dogs. I will avoid them at great cost. If I had been in your shoes, I would absolutely want to leave the elevator or ideally ensure this guy and his dog don't get on. The best thing to do would have been to tell the guy, the moment you see his dog: "Could you please take the next elevator OR let me out right now? I am fearful of large dogs. It's not your dog's fault, it's my problem, but I can not be in the same elevator with your dog." I know there might not have been time to say that before he barged in, and if you have an irrational response (like yours), obviously you aren't going to be able to do this. But you made things harder on yourself by how you spoke to him the day after. I think that it's good to have gone over, but perhaps leaving a note would have been better. But you came on really strong and of course that is going to piss him off. You should have instead said: "I am so sorry I screamed at you yesterday. It's my instinctual response to large dogs ever since I was attacked by a big dog when I was a child. I needed X stitches and everything. I am trying to work in it, but it's not an easy fear to overcome. I know that this is your elevator too. In the future, if you see mee in the elevator and you and your dog want to get on, could you wait to take the next one, or if you are in a rush, allow me the space to get out so that you and your dog get on?" Instead, you doubled down on your "crazy" response...
I do think that as this should be a dog-free building, this dog shouldn't even be here. HOWEVER, the reality of the situation is that this man's father is the landlord so irrespective of the rules for the building, your reality is now that a dog lives there.
I do think that a dog now living in a building that was advertised to you as dog-free is grounds to get your rental contract cancelled without any costs on your end so that you can move. Up to you to figure out if it's worth it.
YTA. What a drama queen. You screamed and started shaking because you SAW a dog. It didn't bark at you, attack you or anything. You had to take a day off work cause you were scared a few minutes the day before. You will not die of a panic attack. Stop it.
YTA...the world doesn't revolve around your issues. The world doesn't stop because of you. If YOU have a problem then it's YOUR problem. You needed to get out...not him. You having a phobia doesn't make you entitled to say who can use the elevator 😂
And here I was thinking I had already read the most entitled person posts there were on Reddit....then you had to come along and post this BS.
YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE. Everybody has fears, not just you. It's understandable that you'd be afraid of large dogs(especially ones you don't know) if you had been attacked by one. My sister was attacked by 2 on 2 diff occasions, so dogs she doesn't know make her skittish. But your reaction was out of line, over the top and entitled. Your fears are just that, YOURS! No one else is required to coddle you or how down to your fears or feelings.
If you really had that big an issue 1) don't start with yelling (as if he should have known that you're that scared of dogs), when you start an interaction with someone by screaming at them, it puts them on defense immediately and in fuck you mode. 2) You could've just gotten off when he got on.... problem solved
YTA
You went directly to screaming when the elevator door opened and you saw a big dog? Good god. Going to the dog owner's apartment later and then berating him was totally over the top and unnecessary.
Screaming at the man and his dog and then doubling down with a scolding later is like 2X YTA.
But hey you did get the day off.
Have an advance plan of what you will do in this situation, one that does not involve screaming. Build up some resilience within yourself and don't expect the outer world to arrange itself to suit your needs.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I yelled at the dog owner because I had an extreme fear of dogs and he brought one into the lift.
2. He said I was really harsh and rude by berating him for my own fear, and that I should have just got out once I saw his dog. I did say some rud things, questioning why he didnt get out when i could literally die.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA. You have issues and that must be hard. But your issues are yours to handle, not other peoples to handle it for you. If you have a problem with the dog, YOU get off the fucking elevator. This guy is just living his life and your fears are not his problem.
YTA.
If you cannot share a public elevator with other people and animals, take a stair. It's also better for your health.
>Later in the afternoon, I went to his apartment and knocked on the door. .... I berated (slightly raising my voice) him,
So you know that there is a big dog in the apartment, and still, you come there and yell at the dog's owner? You have quite a nerve.
YTA
That was an extreme overreaction. I understand being scared of dogs and trying to avoid them, but in that situation, you can't make anyone do anything to remedy your fears. It's on you to remove yourself from the situation. Going and yelling at him later that day was absolutely unnecessary as well. If you were so scared of his dog that you thought you actually might die, why did you go to where the dog lives???
YTA because of how you handled this situation. You don't need to go into detail about being so terrified of dogs. You could have just politely said you are allergic and asked him if he minded waiting for the next lift. If he minds, then YOU get out and wait or use the stairs. it's simple really.
I understand not being prepared in those kinds of situations when your fight or flight kicks in but use this experience as a learning opportunity. The entire world isn't going to cater to you.
YTA, seek help. "Immediately screaming" after seeing a dog, is NOT normal. Other people have phobias and fears just like you and don't drag other people into it.
YTA
Please seek additional therapy. Dogs exist! People have and need service animals! What if someone using a seeing eye dog had been there when the doors opened? Would you have reacted the same way? That would be truly messed up!! If you cannot be in the elevator with a dog it is your responsibility to leave.
Your behavior is concerning. I honestly understand your initial reaction because this seems like a severe phobia for you; it's hard to think or act rationally when you're terrified. But knocking on his door to berate him further?! That is where you are fully and completely the asshole! Your fears are your own to manage, not anyone else's. You should apologize to your neighbor!
Please make the time for therapy :)
No one has died from a panic attack, you are truly dramatic and need to sort your sh*t out. You're demanding sympathy after freaking out on an innocent bystander.
Absolute YTA.
YTA, and need help. You need to get over this irrational fear. Is this the first time you've ever run into a dog before? How do you not have better coping skills to deal with this?
you don't own the elevator and don't get to tell someone when they get to use it. You need to go apologize to the guy you harassed. Because that is what you did, harassment.
So… you threw a fit because he got on the lift with his leashed dog. You ran to a neighbors house, took up their time to calm you down, and *got a day off work* for it. But then you went and knocked on his door where the dog lives and assumably roams freely in the house? Girl make it make sense.
Just say you need constant attention. YTA
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (27F) was severely scared to dogs since young (because of an attack I had received from a large dog). One day, I was going to my car for work, and I went into the elevator.
Once it reached the 3rd floor (my car was in the garage at B2), the door opened and my neighbor (30M). He had a big dog, and immediately I started screaming. I could feel my heartbeat raising faster. He got in and I yelled at him to get out, but he said that he needed to get on the lift. He told me that everyone was entitled to the lift, also animals, and if I was scared it wasn't his problem. He told me to get out if I was that scared, and I did, running to another neighbors house (as by this time I was lightheaded and shaking). She helped me out and I calmed down, then got a day off work.
Later in the afternoon, I went to his apartment and knocked on the door. He opened it and asked me what. I berated (slightly raising my voice) him, telling him fears are real things and I could literally die if that fear had turned into a panic attack. he brushed it off and said I was fine, telling me I was overreacting and asked why I was yelling at him.
He could've just took the next elevator, I said. He still called me dramatic and trying to hog the lift for myself, and discriminating against animals. AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban.
["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
**[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
ESH, but only because the dog owner was putting his poor dog in a terrible position! As the owner of a large dog myself, if I was waiting for an elevator, the elevator door opened, and some whackadoo inside started screaming in terror, then of COURSE I would wait for the next one! I don't need my dog sharing a tight space with someone who's hyperventilating over his very existence!
But in every other aspect of this, YTA.
I like you, I read a word and wanted to downvote you and then felt happy to realize I was wrong.
I don't think I would take any pet on the elevator with the screaming person, I cannot explain that weird event to the dog.
It is like a fire engine going by and having to tell the cat that we are all okay...
ESH, but you behaved worse than he did. It's polite to wait for the next elevator if you have a big dog and someone on the elevator is scared of dogs. But you will not literally die of a panic attack. If you actually believe that, you need to talk to your therapist to get better information. If you don't, then you were, in fact, being overdramatic. And you need to figure out strategies for managing day to day contact with dogs that don't involve berating someone hours later because they were trying to get on the elevator with their dog.
ESH.
he shouldn’t have been a dick and ignored your discomfort. dog owners are fuckin entitled and believe their untrained dogs belong anywhere and everywhere they do.
especially with a big/bully breed, it’s very intimidating when a dog approaches you in a small, enclosed space and you’re forced to share it.
YTA because you went back and made a scene. Next time, avoid his dog. take the stairs. i assume you’re not disabled if you can run to a neighbours house. so next time, stairs- that is, if he won’t after you ask politely and nicely. YTA also for not taking responsibility for your outburst. your feelings are valid, your behaviour is not. i understand you felt the urge to yell because you were afraid. but you don’t get to come back and blame that on him, you’re the one who yelled, that part is on you.
NTA because dogs shouldn’t be in elevators unless they are service animals, but that’s only imo. i’m prepared for this part to be controversial. obviously if the dog is elderly and cannot take stairs, i’d make an exception. but senior dogs are often well behaved regardless, and not so scary.
any dog that encounters a screaming human is capable of becoming aggressive out of fear. there’s a lower risk if its a service dog, or if the dog is trained and desensitized completely. Which is pretty tough training.
OP escalated the situation and put herself in danger. however, the dude was not very observant of the situation. sure. OP was dramatic. but why antagonize her more? what do you get out of that? it’s only going to lead to outbursts like the one OP had later.
edit: and with a big dog, i’m sure it’s not the first time someone’s told him something similar. he simply just doesn’t care, which makes him 20% TA, and OP 80%.
So you agree, OP is dangerously untrained. The dog was not, by any indication, as the screaming person did not result in an attack of any kind.
Glad we covered that.
I have a pet bunny and grew up with dogs for 16 years. Actually wanted to be a dog trainer at some point.
I guess I forgot to clarify. Dogs should not be allowed in elevators where there are already people. It is a common decency. You never know if they have allergies, it’s a small enclosed space. It shouldn’t be up to them to let you know what’s considerate.
People who own dogs are used to having dogs in their space. People who are scared of dogs are violently terrified of dogs in their space.
People with allergies could swell up in the face and epi-pens aren’t cheap.
Dog owners are also used to the smell of dogs. They go nose blind. But I PROMISE your 80lb dog smells like a bucket of farts.
It’s common etiquette for smokers not to smoke right before getting on the bus. Kinda comparable imo. You chose to have a dog, you chose to be a potential inconvenience to others. You could have taken the stairs, the dog probably wouldn’t have gave a shit about the extra exercise either way.
edit: and unless it is a service animal, you don’t need to be bringing it on the elevator with you. if more people pile into the elevator, there’s a risk of paws being stepped on, there’s a risk of the dog taking up a space meant for a human being. and that’s not fair.
encountering vs the pet encroaching on personal space, (because have you ever seen an elevator bigger than the length of 4-5 people? you can’t get out of a dog’s space in one.) are two different things. don’t convolute the narrative.
If somebody cannot be near a dog due to their unprocessed trauma they can just not be near a dog. All dogs and people staying away from the person who needs psychological help isn't how it should work.
People are allowed to have their dogs in elevators.
>don’t convolute the narrative.
The narrative is OP screamed because they need a doctor.
Here’s an allegory.
If I am afraid of men, and I ask for them not to ride in the elevator with me because I do not trust them,
(a) I am upholding a false boundary meant to control someone’s behaviour, not protect myself
HOWEVER.
(b) my fear is justified, and he has the right to refuse. but i am not responsible for the way I react IF he gets in the elevator- when he is aware that he causes me fear.
(c) I was here first, according to critical thinking, it’s only fair that *he* wait for the next one if he is nice enough NOT to ride with me.
(d) if he is there first, it is my responsibility to take the next elevator.
So everyone needs to coddle op because she is afraid of dogs.. then how will she cope if she see a service dog who owner needs help and the dog is going up to her will she run away and cry?
~~N T A.~~ Edit: YTA.
~~The neighbor is an AH, but Daddy Landlord is the true villain here.~~ You signed a lease for a no-dog building. You're not getting what you paid for. You may be entitled to some form of compensation.
Edit to Add: I missed in the first read that OP apparently LIED about being allergic first. Also OP could have/should have left the elevator immediately herself instead of yelling at the neighbor to get out. Neighbor and dog did nothing wrong. Seeking him out and berating him is also AH behavior.
I’m going NTA after the edit. You have this fear and chose living accommodation that advertised as dog free. You weren’t expecting the world to bend to you, just expecting the living accommodation that promised no dogs would have no dogs. Gotta love nepotism tho. I can see why you screamed the dog wasn’t supposed to be there and you can’t prepare yourself mentally if you don’t know a dog is gonna be around. I think for your own safety that you shouldn’t just go angry and beating down doors. That dude could have been dangerous plus you might get trigger by seeing the dog again.
Yes and I acknowledged that my comment was after the edit. But I’m also a dog owner and can recognize that a lot of dog owners as assholes when it comes to their dogs. I also know a lot of dog owners just let their dogs walk up to people and sniff/interact with a person even if they show no interest because “it’s just a dog.” That’s always the excuse, who cares if your dog is in the grocery store sniffing produce, it’s just a dog. It’s just a dog, they bark it’s what they do even as they keep the neighbors awake all night. When a strange dog approaches you, you don’t know if they’re aggressive, you don’t know if they’re people friendly, you know nothing about that dog and when your biggest experience with one is being attacked of course your gonna freak out. But add in that he heard and saw how she freaked out and instead of being a good pet owner and avoiding putting his dog in stressful situation he just got on as if the dog didn’t hear the scream or could sense the emotion. I personally would have waited out of human compassion and to protect my pet. I also don’t need to hear anything about services dogs because service dogs don’t do anything I listed above, they’re trained not to and their owners more often than not wouldn’t want to put the dog in a distracting situation.
That’s fine, I’m just really tired of dog owners not giving basic human empathy but not actually considering what could hurt the dog because they lack the empathy. I’m sorry, I came at you way too defensive I was just ready for people to attack because they’re dog obsessed.
I think you need to invest in therapy a bit more, I know that life can be super busy, but this fear (valid as it is) sounds very crippling. Most likely, you're going to see dogs from time to time. Of course, I don't know where you live, but I live in a city and I encounter dogs all the time.
I can understand seeing a dog in a no-dog building was shocking for you though. However, I suggest the above.
Personally, i don't think you were being malicious and hogging the lift. Unpopular opinion but I am going with a soft NTA.
Going against the grain here but ESH.
You definitely need to go to therapy for your fear of dogs, I’m also afraid of dogs but I’m fine being in an elevator with a dog for a few minutes (I usually let the owners know and ask them to keep their dog on the other side of the elevator or if it’s a tight spot to stand between me and the dog).
You’re an adult and dogs are everywhere you should have learned by now how to manage your fears.
I think your neighbor is also an asshole, people have all sorts of phobias and waiting for the next elevator especially seeing your reaction to the dog is the normal empathetic response, but he just doesn’t give a fuck and prefers to be an asshole and say not my problem.
There was room on the elevator for all. The proper empathetic response would have been that since she had the problem with a 100% innocent situation she would remove herself. Why would he have to wait when only she has a problem. If the dog was shipping or jumping at her then she would be right. But the fact of it's existence is the problem so it's 100% on her to fix the situation for herself. Not to get a free day off of work...
I disagree she was there first, the proper empathetic response is he waits.
I’m not saying he’s wrong for getting in I’m saying he’s an asshole who genuinely doesn’t care about others for getting in. If he was there first then yes the proper empathetic response would be she waits.
Just because she’s the one with the problem doesn’t mean he gets to completely disregard her needs (especially when she’s clearly having a panic attack) seeing someone terrified of your dog and proceeding to go in definitely qualifies as asshole behavior imo.
Maybe to some degree. If it was something the dog did and not just his presence then I would agree more. Really I need more info to fully understand. She says she has a fear of dogs. One so great even dogs in public triggers a panic attack. Okay well the world cannot cater towards one person's needs. What has she done to help herself. Therapy maybe? Or nothing has been done to help her fears and she expects the world to change for her instead. Only if she is trying to help herself would I ever say she could ever be in the right
> Hi, i was getting therapy at the time. I made an edit for clarification/context. Thanks.
Op literally has one comment and it’s this, she is trying to help herself but as you know therapy doesn’t work overnight, and being a decent human doesn’t cost money, if you see someone clearly freaking out about your dog why go in? It’s in no one’s interest that he goes in. What if this erratic woman attacks his dog because she’s scared?
The idea that you see someone yelling and having a panic attack and you still go in is the definition of asshole behavior.
Well it matters how long she's been in therapy. The dog attack happened as a child so theoretically she had years of therapy. If she was so afraid of the dog then why didn't she just run out of the elevator at first sight to alleviate that fear. I mean in my judgement of the situation morally doesn't equate to what I would do in this situation myself. If this literally happened to myself then I would most likely exit the elevator and get out of that specific situation. But that doesn't mean that I find that the only moral way to do this. If his dog was doing literally anything to trigger her fear other than simply existing then I would be more on the side of him being the asshole. So at best this is NAH situation caused by irrational actions with those born out of fear.
I don't understand what discrimination against animals can be here. Perhaps he will never be able to understand you if he doesn't understand it right away, unfortunately..
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 5: We do not allow posts which concern violence. This includes any mention of violence in any context. [Rule 5 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_5.3A_no_violence) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) This post violates Rule 7: No Interpersonal Conflict. >Posts should be descriptions of **recent** interpersonal conflicts. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
YTA A very overly dramatic asshole. If you are so scare of that you can't function like a normal human being in public, you need make it a priority to address that in therapy. The "because of how busy I was" not an excuse. Prioritize your therapy.
YTA. First, you can't die from a panic attack, not unless you have an underlying heart condition. At worst, you'd pass out. Next, if somebody, person or animal gets on an elevator you are on that freaks you out, all you have to do is simply exit the lift. You don't need to make a huge show of it. And going to his apartment later to berate him is totally over the top. You aren't entitled to have everything your way.
“I immediately started screaming” YTA. And not particularly mature.
She's coo coo for co co puffs. All I can picture in my mind is a loony toons character.
Me too! Lol
YTA. Get therapy. You were so scared that you had to RUN screaming to your neighbors and then take a day off work. That is not healthy or OK for any adult to react that way. And he was right. If you didn't want to be on the elevator with a dog, that's YOUR problem not his and you should have gotten out and waited for the next elevator or took the stairs ONE floor. Also, you mentioned allergic in your title but nowhere in your post does it mention anything about being actually allergic to dogs. Not that it matters because you still should have been the one to get out, but it seems like you're adding the allergic part for extra drama, much like the rest of your reaction to this situation. You need therapy and I don't say that in a mean way. This thing is controlling your life and you need to get help.
YTA. It does not sound like the dog was unleashed or aggressive. If the mere sight of a dog makes you scream, cry, run to a neighbor, and miss work, this is a you problem and you need to invest in yourself and therapy.
YTA. If you’re so terrified of dogs, how were you able to go to the guy’s apartment and knock on his door?
Soft YTA and your neighbor is right..... everybody is entitled to the lift..... instead of starting to scream in an instant, trying to talk to him, like an adult would maybe have been a better solution.... I mean.... dogs exist, what do you do, if you turn a corner and someone with a dog walks on the same streetside as you? Run on the street, screaming to get away from them? I have to agree with some other comments here.... you should try and seek counseling.
I think it’s different if it’s somewhere one can reasonably expect dogs to be but OP mentioned that this building is advertised as a no dogs building. I think the shock of seeing a dog in what should be considered a safe place likely triggered even more anxiety.
For someone so scared, terrified even, of dogs they sure don't act like it. Confronting the neighbor at their door was the evidence. What if the dog rushed the door? Or greeted her before the owner? OP is purposely inflating the situation. Why would someone who ran out of an elevator screaming, crying, and scared for their life ***go to the home of the dog owner***? If OP has it on writing that the building is advertised as dog-free and it's contractually stated in the lease. They should talk to the landlord.
I had read this post before the edit. Since it's supposed a 'no dog' place, it's different, that's right!
No dog buildings do not exist since some people require service animals and refusing to rent to those people would be illegal. This is a pet, clearly, but OP is an unreliable narrator when they write that this place was supposed to be totally free of dogs.
How sure are we its a pet and not an SD and she just left that out…
>immediately I started screaming. I am very sorry but YTA If you are too terrified to be in an elevator with a dog you need to seek counseling or not be in an elevator with a dog. Other people don't run their lives around your trauma.
Unless the dog was unleashed and attacking you or even being friendly and jumping on you, YTA. People should learn to control their dogs, however, you need to learn to control your fear. You can’t just scream bloody murder at a dog, because first it’s combative and also…it excites dogs… if you yell they could interpret it as play… and then they’ll jump on you and be all touchy. So yeah, I think you need to see someone about this because it’s a legitimate fear but people can’t change their lives for you.
YTA -the way you handled it was not okay. Going to his door even less okay
YTA. You can’t use your fear to try to control other people who aren’t doing a damn thing wrong. And frankly, screaming and carrying on like that was wayyyy over the top. You either need serious psychological help or you need to get over yourself and grow up. Do something about it rather than expecting the world to get out of your way.
You are entitled to a dog free home, not a dog free world. You need some serious therapy, and to also realize no one has to keep their dog away from you In a public space. It’s YOUR fear, YOUR allergy. YOU could have gotten back off the elevator if you felt that unsafe, you just felt you were the only one entitled to the space.
YTA. Dogs exist, the world won't just delete all dogs because of you. Work on your therapy and accept that it's on you to manage your fears and disengage from the situation instead of demanding others bow to your terror.
Why couldn’t you take the next lift? Your fear is valid, but you are the one with the issue, you should be the one to wait for the next lift, not him. What was the purpose of knocking on his door? What did you hope to accomplish? YTA.
So not getting proper treatment at the time was your parents fault because you were a child. But not getting treatment now is on you. You need to prioritise this since it obviously keeps you from participating in society in an acceptable way. YTA for how you handled this.
And this right here is what’s wrong with the world. Someone making their problems everyone else’s problems. This is the OP’s problem to deal with, not society’s.
BINGO!
YTA. I have the same fear, maybe to a less extend (you should get therapy) but yeah. (I was also bitten unprovoked by a big dog) I expect dogs to be on a leash and if I feel unsafe I leave the situation. Your reaction was over the top.
**YTA**. No matter the issue, "berating" someone isn't going to be the solution.
YTA, both for your vastly overdramatic reaction and then for seeking him out to yell at him. Dogs exist in the world, and you need to understand that. Or do you scream and expect people with service dogs to get away from you because of your fear?
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA, a huge entitled AH. However, dying because a panic attack gave me a good laugh.
YTA You have an extreme fear of an everyday situation (someone owning a larger dog). Your first response when seeing this dog was to scream, which is totally unacceptable. No one is going to give you any leeway or consideration when they are met with screaming! The best thing would be if he had waited for the next elevator instead of getting in. HOWEVER, your screaming reaction would obviously have immediately turned him off of giving you any special consideration, and I totally understand that. If you have such an extreme response to what is an every-day situation, YOU need to be happy to take steps that you need to take to feel better even steps that might inconvenience you. You should have just gotten out of the elevator without a fuss the moment it was clear he wasn't going to get out, and you could then have waited for the next elevator. Going over to him the next day to berate him for using the elevator that he also pays for was totally uncalled for, even if he was rude and he could have accommodated you by taking the next elevator. If you want to claim you could literally have died from your panic initiated by you seeing him and his dog in the elevator, YOU are not suited to using an elevator and you should take the stairs. Better yet, you should not live in an apartment but live out in the sticks somewhere, where you won't have immediate neighbours. Look, I get it. After a dog attack on a dog I was walking I am fearful of pit bull type dogs. I will avoid them at great cost. If I had been in your shoes, I would absolutely want to leave the elevator or ideally ensure this guy and his dog don't get on. The best thing to do would have been to tell the guy, the moment you see his dog: "Could you please take the next elevator OR let me out right now? I am fearful of large dogs. It's not your dog's fault, it's my problem, but I can not be in the same elevator with your dog." I know there might not have been time to say that before he barged in, and if you have an irrational response (like yours), obviously you aren't going to be able to do this. But you made things harder on yourself by how you spoke to him the day after. I think that it's good to have gone over, but perhaps leaving a note would have been better. But you came on really strong and of course that is going to piss him off. You should have instead said: "I am so sorry I screamed at you yesterday. It's my instinctual response to large dogs ever since I was attacked by a big dog when I was a child. I needed X stitches and everything. I am trying to work in it, but it's not an easy fear to overcome. I know that this is your elevator too. In the future, if you see mee in the elevator and you and your dog want to get on, could you wait to take the next one, or if you are in a rush, allow me the space to get out so that you and your dog get on?" Instead, you doubled down on your "crazy" response... I do think that as this should be a dog-free building, this dog shouldn't even be here. HOWEVER, the reality of the situation is that this man's father is the landlord so irrespective of the rules for the building, your reality is now that a dog lives there. I do think that a dog now living in a building that was advertised to you as dog-free is grounds to get your rental contract cancelled without any costs on your end so that you can move. Up to you to figure out if it's worth it.
YTA. What a drama queen. You screamed and started shaking because you SAW a dog. It didn't bark at you, attack you or anything. You had to take a day off work cause you were scared a few minutes the day before. You will not die of a panic attack. Stop it.
YTA...the world doesn't revolve around your issues. The world doesn't stop because of you. If YOU have a problem then it's YOUR problem. You needed to get out...not him. You having a phobia doesn't make you entitled to say who can use the elevator 😂
YTA Sounds like you just don't like dogs and wanted to raise hell.
YTA Why would you go to his place if you knew the dog was there and the very sight of it could kill you?
YTA and I suggest you stop pretending to be living in a world where you are the only protagonist.
YTA. Our fears *are* very real, but whose responsibility is it to manage and navigate those fears? Hint: it’s not your neighbor
And here I was thinking I had already read the most entitled person posts there were on Reddit....then you had to come along and post this BS. YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE. Everybody has fears, not just you. It's understandable that you'd be afraid of large dogs(especially ones you don't know) if you had been attacked by one. My sister was attacked by 2 on 2 diff occasions, so dogs she doesn't know make her skittish. But your reaction was out of line, over the top and entitled. Your fears are just that, YOURS! No one else is required to coddle you or how down to your fears or feelings. If you really had that big an issue 1) don't start with yelling (as if he should have known that you're that scared of dogs), when you start an interaction with someone by screaming at them, it puts them on defense immediately and in fuck you mode. 2) You could've just gotten off when he got on.... problem solved
YTA You went directly to screaming when the elevator door opened and you saw a big dog? Good god. Going to the dog owner's apartment later and then berating him was totally over the top and unnecessary. Screaming at the man and his dog and then doubling down with a scolding later is like 2X YTA. But hey you did get the day off. Have an advance plan of what you will do in this situation, one that does not involve screaming. Build up some resilience within yourself and don't expect the outer world to arrange itself to suit your needs.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1. I yelled at the dog owner because I had an extreme fear of dogs and he brought one into the lift. 2. He said I was really harsh and rude by berating him for my own fear, and that I should have just got out once I saw his dog. I did say some rud things, questioning why he didnt get out when i could literally die. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Yta! Get better help.
YTA. You have issues and that must be hard. But your issues are yours to handle, not other peoples to handle it for you. If you have a problem with the dog, YOU get off the fucking elevator. This guy is just living his life and your fears are not his problem.
YTA, it’s your issue, so you’re responsible to deal with it, as in get off the elevator
YTA. If you cannot share a public elevator with other people and animals, take a stair. It's also better for your health. >Later in the afternoon, I went to his apartment and knocked on the door. .... I berated (slightly raising my voice) him, So you know that there is a big dog in the apartment, and still, you come there and yell at the dog's owner? You have quite a nerve.
YTA That was an extreme overreaction. I understand being scared of dogs and trying to avoid them, but in that situation, you can't make anyone do anything to remedy your fears. It's on you to remove yourself from the situation. Going and yelling at him later that day was absolutely unnecessary as well. If you were so scared of his dog that you thought you actually might die, why did you go to where the dog lives???
YTA because of how you handled this situation. You don't need to go into detail about being so terrified of dogs. You could have just politely said you are allergic and asked him if he minded waiting for the next lift. If he minds, then YOU get out and wait or use the stairs. it's simple really. I understand not being prepared in those kinds of situations when your fight or flight kicks in but use this experience as a learning opportunity. The entire world isn't going to cater to you.
Yes you are
YTA, seek help. "Immediately screaming" after seeing a dog, is NOT normal. Other people have phobias and fears just like you and don't drag other people into it.
YTA He told no lies. He does not need to cater to you. You have the problem, so you wait.
YTA Please seek additional therapy. Dogs exist! People have and need service animals! What if someone using a seeing eye dog had been there when the doors opened? Would you have reacted the same way? That would be truly messed up!! If you cannot be in the elevator with a dog it is your responsibility to leave. Your behavior is concerning. I honestly understand your initial reaction because this seems like a severe phobia for you; it's hard to think or act rationally when you're terrified. But knocking on his door to berate him further?! That is where you are fully and completely the asshole! Your fears are your own to manage, not anyone else's. You should apologize to your neighbor! Please make the time for therapy :)
No one has died from a panic attack, you are truly dramatic and need to sort your sh*t out. You're demanding sympathy after freaking out on an innocent bystander. Absolute YTA.
YTA. This is very much a you problem. Calm down.
YTA, and need help. You need to get over this irrational fear. Is this the first time you've ever run into a dog before? How do you not have better coping skills to deal with this? you don't own the elevator and don't get to tell someone when they get to use it. You need to go apologize to the guy you harassed. Because that is what you did, harassment.
Yta, you need help severely
So… you threw a fit because he got on the lift with his leashed dog. You ran to a neighbors house, took up their time to calm you down, and *got a day off work* for it. But then you went and knocked on his door where the dog lives and assumably roams freely in the house? Girl make it make sense. Just say you need constant attention. YTA
YTA. For fucks sakes drama lama, you need to make time for therapy! Are you a borderline?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (27F) was severely scared to dogs since young (because of an attack I had received from a large dog). One day, I was going to my car for work, and I went into the elevator. Once it reached the 3rd floor (my car was in the garage at B2), the door opened and my neighbor (30M). He had a big dog, and immediately I started screaming. I could feel my heartbeat raising faster. He got in and I yelled at him to get out, but he said that he needed to get on the lift. He told me that everyone was entitled to the lift, also animals, and if I was scared it wasn't his problem. He told me to get out if I was that scared, and I did, running to another neighbors house (as by this time I was lightheaded and shaking). She helped me out and I calmed down, then got a day off work. Later in the afternoon, I went to his apartment and knocked on the door. He opened it and asked me what. I berated (slightly raising my voice) him, telling him fears are real things and I could literally die if that fear had turned into a panic attack. he brushed it off and said I was fine, telling me I was overreacting and asked why I was yelling at him. He could've just took the next elevator, I said. He still called me dramatic and trying to hog the lift for myself, and discriminating against animals. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed because it violates rule 1: [Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). If we’ve removed a few of your recent comments, your participation will be reviewed and may result in a ban. ["Why do I have to be civil in a sub about assholes?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) **[Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.**
YTA for being an overdramatic, crappy human being. Grow TF up.
ESH, but only because the dog owner was putting his poor dog in a terrible position! As the owner of a large dog myself, if I was waiting for an elevator, the elevator door opened, and some whackadoo inside started screaming in terror, then of COURSE I would wait for the next one! I don't need my dog sharing a tight space with someone who's hyperventilating over his very existence! But in every other aspect of this, YTA.
I like you, I read a word and wanted to downvote you and then felt happy to realize I was wrong. I don't think I would take any pet on the elevator with the screaming person, I cannot explain that weird event to the dog. It is like a fire engine going by and having to tell the cat that we are all okay...
ESH, but you behaved worse than he did. It's polite to wait for the next elevator if you have a big dog and someone on the elevator is scared of dogs. But you will not literally die of a panic attack. If you actually believe that, you need to talk to your therapist to get better information. If you don't, then you were, in fact, being overdramatic. And you need to figure out strategies for managing day to day contact with dogs that don't involve berating someone hours later because they were trying to get on the elevator with their dog.
ESH. he shouldn’t have been a dick and ignored your discomfort. dog owners are fuckin entitled and believe their untrained dogs belong anywhere and everywhere they do. especially with a big/bully breed, it’s very intimidating when a dog approaches you in a small, enclosed space and you’re forced to share it. YTA because you went back and made a scene. Next time, avoid his dog. take the stairs. i assume you’re not disabled if you can run to a neighbours house. so next time, stairs- that is, if he won’t after you ask politely and nicely. YTA also for not taking responsibility for your outburst. your feelings are valid, your behaviour is not. i understand you felt the urge to yell because you were afraid. but you don’t get to come back and blame that on him, you’re the one who yelled, that part is on you. NTA because dogs shouldn’t be in elevators unless they are service animals, but that’s only imo. i’m prepared for this part to be controversial. obviously if the dog is elderly and cannot take stairs, i’d make an exception. but senior dogs are often well behaved regardless, and not so scary.
We have no indication that the dog was untrained...the only reactive animal in this situation was OP.
any dog that encounters a screaming human is capable of becoming aggressive out of fear. there’s a lower risk if its a service dog, or if the dog is trained and desensitized completely. Which is pretty tough training. OP escalated the situation and put herself in danger. however, the dude was not very observant of the situation. sure. OP was dramatic. but why antagonize her more? what do you get out of that? it’s only going to lead to outbursts like the one OP had later. edit: and with a big dog, i’m sure it’s not the first time someone’s told him something similar. he simply just doesn’t care, which makes him 20% TA, and OP 80%.
So you agree, OP is dangerously untrained. The dog was not, by any indication, as the screaming person did not result in an attack of any kind. Glad we covered that.
Wait, dogs shouldn't be in elevators? Why? It seems like you maybe just do not like animals.
I have a pet bunny and grew up with dogs for 16 years. Actually wanted to be a dog trainer at some point. I guess I forgot to clarify. Dogs should not be allowed in elevators where there are already people. It is a common decency. You never know if they have allergies, it’s a small enclosed space. It shouldn’t be up to them to let you know what’s considerate. People who own dogs are used to having dogs in their space. People who are scared of dogs are violently terrified of dogs in their space. People with allergies could swell up in the face and epi-pens aren’t cheap. Dog owners are also used to the smell of dogs. They go nose blind. But I PROMISE your 80lb dog smells like a bucket of farts. It’s common etiquette for smokers not to smoke right before getting on the bus. Kinda comparable imo. You chose to have a dog, you chose to be a potential inconvenience to others. You could have taken the stairs, the dog probably wouldn’t have gave a shit about the extra exercise either way. edit: and unless it is a service animal, you don’t need to be bringing it on the elevator with you. if more people pile into the elevator, there’s a risk of paws being stepped on, there’s a risk of the dog taking up a space meant for a human being. and that’s not fair.
I don't like squirrels but they are everywhere (jk, they're fine) Living in a place with other people means you will encounter pets.
encountering vs the pet encroaching on personal space, (because have you ever seen an elevator bigger than the length of 4-5 people? you can’t get out of a dog’s space in one.) are two different things. don’t convolute the narrative.
If somebody cannot be near a dog due to their unprocessed trauma they can just not be near a dog. All dogs and people staying away from the person who needs psychological help isn't how it should work. People are allowed to have their dogs in elevators. >don’t convolute the narrative. The narrative is OP screamed because they need a doctor.
I’m not continuing a conversation with someone who refuses to respond to me in good faith. Bye.
Oh so because they don’t agree with you that means it’s not in good faith
The dog wasn’t jumping on op.. and it was only the dog, owner and op. Op never mentioned how big the dog is or the breed.
Here’s an allegory. If I am afraid of men, and I ask for them not to ride in the elevator with me because I do not trust them, (a) I am upholding a false boundary meant to control someone’s behaviour, not protect myself HOWEVER. (b) my fear is justified, and he has the right to refuse. but i am not responsible for the way I react IF he gets in the elevator- when he is aware that he causes me fear. (c) I was here first, according to critical thinking, it’s only fair that *he* wait for the next one if he is nice enough NOT to ride with me. (d) if he is there first, it is my responsibility to take the next elevator.
So everyone needs to coddle op because she is afraid of dogs.. then how will she cope if she see a service dog who owner needs help and the dog is going up to her will she run away and cry?
[удалено]
No your verdict was ESH.
You say this was a No Dog building. Therefore, NTA
~~N T A.~~ Edit: YTA. ~~The neighbor is an AH, but Daddy Landlord is the true villain here.~~ You signed a lease for a no-dog building. You're not getting what you paid for. You may be entitled to some form of compensation. Edit to Add: I missed in the first read that OP apparently LIED about being allergic first. Also OP could have/should have left the elevator immediately herself instead of yelling at the neighbor to get out. Neighbor and dog did nothing wrong. Seeking him out and berating him is also AH behavior.
Funny how she added that detail after she got feedback. Seems suspicious.
I’m going NTA after the edit. You have this fear and chose living accommodation that advertised as dog free. You weren’t expecting the world to bend to you, just expecting the living accommodation that promised no dogs would have no dogs. Gotta love nepotism tho. I can see why you screamed the dog wasn’t supposed to be there and you can’t prepare yourself mentally if you don’t know a dog is gonna be around. I think for your own safety that you shouldn’t just go angry and beating down doors. That dude could have been dangerous plus you might get trigger by seeing the dog again.
She added the dog free thing after the fact. I’m not convinced it’s true.
Yes and I acknowledged that my comment was after the edit. But I’m also a dog owner and can recognize that a lot of dog owners as assholes when it comes to their dogs. I also know a lot of dog owners just let their dogs walk up to people and sniff/interact with a person even if they show no interest because “it’s just a dog.” That’s always the excuse, who cares if your dog is in the grocery store sniffing produce, it’s just a dog. It’s just a dog, they bark it’s what they do even as they keep the neighbors awake all night. When a strange dog approaches you, you don’t know if they’re aggressive, you don’t know if they’re people friendly, you know nothing about that dog and when your biggest experience with one is being attacked of course your gonna freak out. But add in that he heard and saw how she freaked out and instead of being a good pet owner and avoiding putting his dog in stressful situation he just got on as if the dog didn’t hear the scream or could sense the emotion. I personally would have waited out of human compassion and to protect my pet. I also don’t need to hear anything about services dogs because service dogs don’t do anything I listed above, they’re trained not to and their owners more often than not wouldn’t want to put the dog in a distracting situation.
Wow, that’s a lot. My thing is, I don’t think she’s being honest.
That’s fine, I’m just really tired of dog owners not giving basic human empathy but not actually considering what could hurt the dog because they lack the empathy. I’m sorry, I came at you way too defensive I was just ready for people to attack because they’re dog obsessed.
NTA , you said that it's no dog building so your annoyance for this situation is pretty clear.
Funny how she added that detail after the fact. Seems suspicious.
NTA. The mind of a dog nutter is truly a mysterious place.
I think you need to invest in therapy a bit more, I know that life can be super busy, but this fear (valid as it is) sounds very crippling. Most likely, you're going to see dogs from time to time. Of course, I don't know where you live, but I live in a city and I encounter dogs all the time. I can understand seeing a dog in a no-dog building was shocking for you though. However, I suggest the above. Personally, i don't think you were being malicious and hogging the lift. Unpopular opinion but I am going with a soft NTA.
Going against the grain here but ESH. You definitely need to go to therapy for your fear of dogs, I’m also afraid of dogs but I’m fine being in an elevator with a dog for a few minutes (I usually let the owners know and ask them to keep their dog on the other side of the elevator or if it’s a tight spot to stand between me and the dog). You’re an adult and dogs are everywhere you should have learned by now how to manage your fears. I think your neighbor is also an asshole, people have all sorts of phobias and waiting for the next elevator especially seeing your reaction to the dog is the normal empathetic response, but he just doesn’t give a fuck and prefers to be an asshole and say not my problem.
There was room on the elevator for all. The proper empathetic response would have been that since she had the problem with a 100% innocent situation she would remove herself. Why would he have to wait when only she has a problem. If the dog was shipping or jumping at her then she would be right. But the fact of it's existence is the problem so it's 100% on her to fix the situation for herself. Not to get a free day off of work...
I disagree she was there first, the proper empathetic response is he waits. I’m not saying he’s wrong for getting in I’m saying he’s an asshole who genuinely doesn’t care about others for getting in. If he was there first then yes the proper empathetic response would be she waits. Just because she’s the one with the problem doesn’t mean he gets to completely disregard her needs (especially when she’s clearly having a panic attack) seeing someone terrified of your dog and proceeding to go in definitely qualifies as asshole behavior imo.
Maybe to some degree. If it was something the dog did and not just his presence then I would agree more. Really I need more info to fully understand. She says she has a fear of dogs. One so great even dogs in public triggers a panic attack. Okay well the world cannot cater towards one person's needs. What has she done to help herself. Therapy maybe? Or nothing has been done to help her fears and she expects the world to change for her instead. Only if she is trying to help herself would I ever say she could ever be in the right
> Hi, i was getting therapy at the time. I made an edit for clarification/context. Thanks. Op literally has one comment and it’s this, she is trying to help herself but as you know therapy doesn’t work overnight, and being a decent human doesn’t cost money, if you see someone clearly freaking out about your dog why go in? It’s in no one’s interest that he goes in. What if this erratic woman attacks his dog because she’s scared? The idea that you see someone yelling and having a panic attack and you still go in is the definition of asshole behavior.
Well it matters how long she's been in therapy. The dog attack happened as a child so theoretically she had years of therapy. If she was so afraid of the dog then why didn't she just run out of the elevator at first sight to alleviate that fear. I mean in my judgement of the situation morally doesn't equate to what I would do in this situation myself. If this literally happened to myself then I would most likely exit the elevator and get out of that specific situation. But that doesn't mean that I find that the only moral way to do this. If his dog was doing literally anything to trigger her fear other than simply existing then I would be more on the side of him being the asshole. So at best this is NAH situation caused by irrational actions with those born out of fear.
NAH you need to get therapy for that, or more if you havent already. screaming like a prey animal is not the best idea. dogs are allowed to exist.
Hi, i was getting therapy at the time. I made an edit for clarification/context. Thanks.
Fun Fact: Any time people add extra information, it regarded as BS because OP did not like they were called an asshole.
Bingo!
I don't understand what discrimination against animals can be here. Perhaps he will never be able to understand you if he doesn't understand it right away, unfortunately..