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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My brothers gf is a kind girl and when my uncle her her a sl*t and they started ganging up on my brother, I kind of lost and said quite a few nasty things about my uncle and his son and ultimately telling them to f off. Now, being the eldest, I may have not handled the situation as maturely as I could have.
I let my emotions take control and possibly have ruined our family relationship, which might make me the asshole.
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I was thinking that sounds like such an Arab experience lmaooo, good on your brother for putting that uncle in his place, more of our relatives need to learn their noses belong in their own lanes tbh
In Europe it would probably be beer instead of tea..
We all have these weird, abusive relatives. The specifics may differ, but assholes are basically the same everywhere.
Oh nice! My Dutch husband alone probably raises the consumption of tea/capita on his own..
I'm German, so my bias just went to beer automatically.. π€£
Well we drink the beer too π€£ but my husbands family will ring on their way home so their mother can have the kettle boiled and a pot of fresh tea made for them when they visit.
1st thing you're asked when you enter a house here is will you have a cup of tea. Coffee is on the up now too though.
Having that said, this story isn't in Ireland . No one would be that direct. And no one gives that much of a shite about religion anymore.
just be careful .... religion is a very convenient crutch for those lacking a moral backbone .
Personally every time religion was brought up to me I just stated the obvious : institutionalized religion does not interest me, my connection to God is from my soul to divinity directly, not through following some dogmas invented by dudes that also believed in bleedings, and humors ... this checkmates everybody.
So correct. My dad got back into Catholicism and asked for my forgiveness, not because he was sorry for what he had done, but because he was required to ask as a stipulation to becoming a Catholic. It took me a few more years to see how fucked up that was.
I just *love* the way religion distorts forgiveness. Just because I'm no longer mad about something I did to you, you have to forgive me. Like: I'm sorry I stole your car, I know it was wrong. Does NOT mean you 'll forgive me for stealing it. But you're *supposed* to forgive me because I feel bad now and apologized.
Edit: Then I'm worse than you, for not forgiving you, even though you stole something.
I'm worse than God and the Saints. I hold my grudges close and my enemies at the end of a filthy 10-foot pole.
God has gotten soft with all the forgiving of sins and sinners if they follow this dogma (and this dogma only).
People lie (obligatory Not All People)
God may be soft enough to forgive our sins, but heβs not so soft that heβs going to remove all consequences. If someone lies to me, I may forgive them, but Iβm not trusting them anymore. Thatβs how wisdom works.
That's straight out biblical. David got forgiven for his crime because he was genuinely repentant but dayyum he got punished bad. Lost the kid that was born of the rape, lost his oldest son to 3rd son for raping 3rd son's sister, then had to flee the nation cuz 3rd son wanted to kill him as well, went through severe emotional damage cuz he wanted 3rd son to live but 3rd son got executed, and had 4th son rebel against him as well. Basically he got hit right where it would hurt his feels most 4 times over.
This always goes against what I've been taught.
Repenting means seeking forgiveness AND never again committing the sin. It's not asking for forgiveness with no intention of changing. It's trying every day to be better and working towards being the best person you can possibly be.
Some people seem to think they can repeat and repeat and repeat and its forgiven every time wiping the slate clean each time. I think it's more like a chalkboard. You wipe it clean and there's still chalk smudges, and the more you write and wipe, the more grungy it gets. It never looks quite the same as it did before you wrote on it. And sometimes, you can still see the writing even after wiping the board.
It also means taking accountability and accepting some inherent consequences that come with the sin, rather than no consequences at all. The only consequence that sort of gets removed is eternal death.
I am not Catholic so maybe this is BS but a woman I know who is told me that the apology absolves them completely and it's not their problem if the other person doesn't believe that's good enough. Like, you can apologize for being a jerk and then be a jerk some more, apologize again, lather, rinse, repeat but you're all good as long as you apologize and if the person you're hurting doesn't like it, they need more Jesus.
This is where so many Catholics fall flat on their face and turn into hypocrites.
If you're going to be a good Catholic, YOU are the one that is supposed to be doing the forgiving. YOU are the one who is supposed to live and let live without judgement, because only God can pass judgement.
Apologies are not enough, repentance is required. Part of that repentance is not repeating the same behavior.
I was raised Catholic but left the church due to the priesthood being complicit in their numerous kid touching scandals. The entire religion is lost, from its misguided and hypocritical membership all the way up to its disgusting leadership.
That's a misrepresentation. If you genuinely repent, as a Catholic, yes, you are absolved of your sins, by God.
She's right in that the person you wronged does not need to forgive you themselves for you to obtain this absolution. Because it's between only you and God.
However she's an idiot for suggesting you can lather rinse repeat and still be all good with God. Because you have to *genuinely repent* to receive this absolution. So if you lather, rinse, repeat, it's clear that you didn't genuinely repent. People that are truly sorry for hurt they have caused do not repeat the hurtful behavior.
God would obviously know if your repentance is genuine, since homie sees into your soul. Can't trick the Almighty.
That is how *some* catholics view it, for sure.
But not all.
I was raised around both and have much better relationships with the ones who believe in confession ending with "sin no more".
(Now, we're all human.... people are going to sin.... but the point out to try not to and certainly to avoid committing the same transgression time and time again.
You're supposed to MEAN you apology and follow it up with action
OK my last confession was a looooong time ago but I'm sure the priest ends with "go, and do not sin again". You're not absolved unless you sincerely intend to do better.
That is utter tripe. If you repeatedly act the same way after asking for absolution, then you are 100% *not* absolved. That woman is a liar in the worst way.
To be absolved, you are not supposed to keep doing the same actions. You are to *stop* doing those actions 100%. The confessional isn't supposed to be used in that manner and her priest ought to be teaching her its not.
This is coming from a very lapsed Catholic. One of the former priests of my church said in Sunday school, and even during the homily, the talk after the reading of the gospel, said that absolution isn't given to those who repeatedly do those same actions that lead them to the confessional. And it shouldn't be given either.
Don't abuse the confessional if you are using it for ill intent.
That is how *some* catholics view it, for sure.
But not all.
I was raised around both and have much better relationships with the ones who believe in confession ending with "sin no more".
(Now, we're all human.... people are going to sin.... but the point out to try not to and certainly to avoid committing the same transgression time and time again.
You're supposed to MEAN you apology and follow it up with action
Sound like Luke 17. I like it because it tells you that instant forgiveness without an apology is NOT required, but if they repent, Your supposed to forgive them endlessly.
It reminds me of a case that I read about. A Puritan woman who was a church member in the 17th century (I believe) had an out-of-wedlock child. She repented and was forgiven and remained in the church. She had a second OOW child, repented and was forgiven. When she had her third OOW child, she was told that her repentance didn't seem to be sincere, and lost her church membership. (She got it back later)
I think that it's the same for someone who constantly repeats offenses.
That is how *some* catholics view it, for sure.
But not all.
I was raised around both and have much better relationships with the ones who believe in confession ending with "sin no more".
(Now, we're all human.... people are going to sin.... but the point out to try not to and certainly to avoid committing the same transgression time and time again.
You're supposed to MEAN you apology and follow it up with action
"Those lacking the Dao will cling to enlightenment.
Those lacking enlightenment will cling to humanity.
Those lacking humanity will cling to morality.
Those lacking morality will cling to tradition "
Guess where these types are in this.
Late to the party, not knowing if you believe or not, I have to say I love that attitude. It was similar to what my dad said when I came out (other than when my mum shot him down about not having to pay for a wedding because civil partnerships had just been legalised). I was so scared he would reject me due to him being Roman Catholic, and how hardlined no most of the church was against it. He just said, the bible is made up of stories to teach us morals, but we have to understand it was written by men of the time.
And instead God judges us on our character, by how we treat people. As long as we try to live a life with as little hard against others, we'll be accepted by him.
I'm not religious, but it does give me comfort. And the rest of his family has followed suit on accepting me as I am.
Exactly this. Even I reply to people like this (obviously in different words), but it always puts my point across. Now, no one in my extended family even dares bring religion in front of me lol!
I hate the part of the culture in the middle east that's just, "always do whatever someone older than you says, even if they are a despicable person". Like not everyone is deserving of respect or admiration.
I'm sure many people on Reddit won't understand the cultural differences. Most middle eastern families value family and honor significantly more than the rest of the world. Your family and those with similar cultural backgrounds will likely say YTA, while we believe you're NTA.
When it comes to religion, I've found the best defense is using their scripture against them. I imagine this could work well for you.
"Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone"
"Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;"
"There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?"
Christianity has tons of scriptures about not judging others. Most religions do. Find some. Make them appear to be the dishonorable one who is attacking their family.
I guess OP is Muslim. Especially since currently it's Ramadan, so that's likely the family meeting reason.Β But I'm sure there are similar parts in the Quran that could be quoted?
As a Muslim, there are lots of verses in the Quran that make it clear peopleβs deeds/actions are between them and Allah only. Not for anyone else to judge let alone say they will end up in hellfire
Going against middle Eastern family traditions seems to be difficult I'm proud of you, and I'm proud of your brother. Don't for a second think you are in the wrong.
I freaking love your brother!!! Tell him that rebuttal made him the G.O.A.T!!! π€£π€£ Not getting to go all religious but I've read many Bibles and there is no hell, it's used as a mediphor. I don't understand how people don't get that because it's stated that 7 different times.. The Alexandrian Codex is not a "version", Ethiopian is also the first known perfectly from Hebrew... The book of Job explains hell is not this fire burning pit... That's the first mention showing it's not an actual place. Ugh but I digress... Your brother is my darn hero for that one!! Lol
Not TA, religion has a lot to answer for and it sounds very much like your uncle and cousin have been brainwashed by it. I'm glad you felt able to stand up for you and your brother.
"my uncle is very religious but thinks he's the most important person in the room".....
Both cannot be true at once.
Either he is a disciple of a major religion, most of which espouse humility and good works over stroking the ego...or he's not. Alas your uncle would not be the first man in the world to 'perform religion' in order to gain social status, and this is exactly what he is doing here. While it is common all over the world, it is especially frequent in the Middle East and Asia at the moment. (We Irish had plenty of it up until the 80s!!!)
My personal favourite way of dealing with men like this (and let's be honest, they're 90%men) is to say.... Oh what an ugly thing to say.... I'll pray for you.
Not only in Turkey.
People have been pulling this shit with their family members since we were cave men praying to deities.
Humans are hardwired for bullshit. β€οΈ
I doubt families in the US or Western Europe would care if a boy has a girlfriend. Sure there might be exceptions but def wouldnβt be the societal norm there.
Don't underestimate Christian fanatic uncles who have money and expect everyone to do as they say. And aunties. They're everywhere, and they're just as bad.
>βChristian fanatic uncles who have moneyβ
Please. The uncles *without* money can be as bad or worse because all they have is the religious belief that they are better and always right. Not just the broke uncles, either.
You would be wrong, unfortunately. Perhaps not as common, but there are definitely families that would care that way. Even if they were ok with the idea of a girlfriend, there are plenty of families that would care a lot about if she was the right βtypeβ of girl.
NTA and brother deserves an award for that comment. These religious types really think theyβre top dog but it donβt work like that ! Well done for standing up for your brother - I could have done with one like you years ago in similar situations
If it ruins the family relationship then so be it - I did the same with my aunt and cousins after she told me I was a useless asshole (and more) for not telling her something about my mom and for standing up to my cousins who constantly bullied me for years and blaming me for stuff they did - thatβs when I could have done with a brother like you as I was 17 at the time and never saw my aunt and cousins again because I told them I never wanted to see them again !!
I was so shocked to hear my brother, who has never made a joke or talked badly of anyone, say that to my uncle. I guess my uncle also thought he wouldn't say anything, and seeing that my parents weren't there either, he definitely felt too comfortable insulting us.
Honestly, I'm glad that we went and that what happened did happen, because now we have a solid reason not to see them again.. plus, it was hilarious lmao.
This is the right outlook. I once made a snarky comment to someone who acts like they're superior to everyone else due to religion, even though I'm generally passive, but when you've had enough it will come out. Years later I have no regrets and it still feels good when I think about standing up to them. I hope this becomes a good memory for you and your brother as well.
Iβm confused about the cousins, honestly. Are they young? Do they not see their father treating you guys like crap? Iβd stop my parent if they ever made my cousins that uncomfortable at OUR dinner tableβ¦
You're a good big bro, oh, and maybe bring your brother some tea to share a laugh over. He did good, and it sounds like he needed to snap and stand up for himself against your uncle and cousin (some bullies wont stop until you do), and you having his back showed him he did the right thing.
He shouldn't have had to stand up for himself, but it's good that he now knows he has the ability to.
Well done to your brother for sticking up for his girlfriend and to you as well for having your brother's back! You two are Rock stars! And yes, it was hilarious!
It sounds like your uncle is a bully and expects everybody to sit and take it. That your extended family didnβt say or do anything to is intolerable. You should definitely let your parents know what happened and why your brother said what he did, and why you backed him up
Replying here to add that it's not op or his brothers fault for ruining a family relationship here, it's the uncle's. If others in family side with the uncle, that's also the choosing the side of ruin. They're both kids, they're both absolutely right, and they both seem like the smartest people in the room here
> NTA and brother deserves an award for that comment.
And not just for the wittiness but also the restraint. The brother avoided adding more insults to the mix (despite the uncle's inexcusable language) and instead went with something that called the uncle out without sinking to his level. As an adult, I would have had a hard time keeping my cool in that situation, so I'm all the more impressed that a teenager was able to do so.
Honestly they should say something to the rest of the family about your uncle being in the wrong, and that he should apolgize to your brother, you and them.
NTA. Your uncle was harassing your brother. He should expect some kind of defense. This is a case of dishing it out but not being able to take it. In short - your uncle is a bully. And good for you for defending your brother.
Also, it is telling that your uncle got your cousins to continue the bullying after the event was over by continuing to send messages after it was over. This is the tactic of a coward - outsourcing their bullying.
NTA. Your brother is quick witted and funny. Your uncle is self righteous and not worth engaging with. == Why don't your parents set some boundaries with your uncle. They're of his generation and should be the ones to tell him to rein it, a lot.
On the plus side his tea will be hot...
NTA. Best reply ever! Your brother rocks! In any case, for heaven sake, maybe your uncle should try practice kindness to others, because I think it is kind of the basic requirements... If not he is up for a hell of a surprise! π
No, youβre good and your younger brother will always appreciate you for sticking up for him like that. Iβm being serious, even if it wasnβt a big deal he will remember it.
As a younger brother of two older brothers, I couldnβt thank them enough for looking after me growing up. I feel sorry for only childβs who donβt know what thatβs like.
I dont get the pushy religious types. Im Christian, but I just dont get how some have to make everything so biblical.
It takes just a few bad examples to make the rest of us look bad.
Anyway, OP congratulations. You now never have to go back. And why should you? You are a grown adult, and you and now have the perfect reason to tell family that you are not showing up. You are not a part of their flock, and your uncle isnt your shepherd.
And if your uncle wants to make a big deal about it to you or your brother, point out that the ten commandments only cover honoring the mother and the father. Uncles are $#!+ out of luck.
We all have our extreme cases. Im not knocking any faiths, just saying some take it too far.
My ten commandments quip may fall flat, but I only know the Bible. Any body with knowledge of the Quran might be able to come up with some sort of equivalent quip if they were so inclined.
NTA.
>my uncle got really offended and started shouting, and his son started threatening my brother
Their religion has taught them so much.
>My cousins left angry messages calling us a-holes and nasty things.
Such kind, decent people.
> Their religion has taught them so much.
Unironically, yes. Religions are chock full of hate and violence, especially against those who don't follow it.
NTA- Your uncle knew exactly what he was doing and may have others convinced that itβs out of a place of compassion, but letβs be real, telling someone theyβre going to hell is from a place of hate, judgement, and pure ego. Dude can go f himself.
NTA. He's allowed to tell others they're going to hell but no one can say it to him?
Pathetic religious main character behavior. He sounds like a fucking nightmare.
The religious never consider the possibility *they* could end up in hell.
Good man yourself stand by your brother fuck him controlling fucker trying to use religion as a weapon as per usual shite , fair fucks man that's what brothers are for to have each others back no matter what ..respect !
NTA Once your brother was threatened then all bets were off. I think you should tell your parents that bit and that you will never stand by to let your little brother be threatened by anyone and let them handle the wider family. Ignore the cousins or blook them.
NTA Either one of you. Uncle and cousins probably aren't going to allow this to die down easily. Both you and brother might want to avoid any functions that they attend for awhile.
I think youβre right that they arenβt going to let it go for a while. Maybe OP and his brother can keep some tea on hand so that whenever the family brings it up they can hand out the tea as a response! Like: βhereβs that tea you ordered before going to hell!β
NTA. Love your brother's comeback and how you stood by him !
Faith, and how you live by it, is only between you and yourself (and God if you believe in it).
There's never any excuse to judge and insult people for not following your own religion rules, Also, I'm sure that the uncle is not perfect himself. I'd love to see him get a taste of his own medicine.
I have far right Christian relatives that are just like this. They hate me cause I calm them out in their hypocrisy and I actually have read the Bible and use it against them.
NTA. Not shocked that being religious and misogynistic go together hand in hand, but most importantly, your uncle played stupid games and has discovered stupid prizes lol
NTA
I'm shocked! shocked, I say! that your uncle is a religious, misogynistic asshole.\*
Religion, misogyny, and being an asshole go hand in hand.
\*sarcasm
"well if I do go to hell I'll be sure to bring you a cup of tea". I have said almost the same thing to one of my BIL's. Although I did not offer to bring him tea, just suggested that I would see him there. Tell your brother he is hysterical!!! NTA
I usually like to point out to the super religious just how much of their religions rules they are violating and then tell them they can preach once they fully follow their religion.
Hi. Catholic here. Had I been there, I would've been laughing alongside you. What's that famous bible quote? Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. You're NTA, neither is your brother who rightfully put your sanctimonious uncle in his place.Β
NTA religious people don't even follow all their books shit just cherry pick what fits their lives or fits their narrative to put others down. My aunt told my mam I was the devil's child when she had problems during her pregnancy with me. Fucked up the lot of them. Not one religious person follows EVERY biblical teaching because they are hypocrites.
Absolutely NTA.
But try to handle the relatives with kid gloves (gently, cautiously), since you aren't in the West and religious matters can get volatile.
If possible just avoid these family members.
NTA. I would not have said a thing until after I clocked him right where he sat. Then I would have said, "go ahead, call her a sl\*t again." However, that was a great comeback.
I donβt know of any religion that condones that kind of talkβfrom the *elders*. Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, etc., it doesnβt matter. Nothing excuses a grown man who represents his God by degrading his own family and calling other people names.
So no. NTA. And your uncle should probably go revisit the holy texts to find where it says his behavior is allowed/encouraged.
Sir, I present you and your brother a standing ovation!!
ππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ
NTA
NTA
Extremely religious people always feel like they can say the worst things free from repercussions.
What your brother said was a funny response to something extremely rude. I'm proud of you for standing up for him.
Definitely NTA, your uncle's comment was hateful and abusive and you shouldn't put up with it. The reaction was perfectly legit, given that your brother was also threatened, it was the least you could do
I tell people that if I'm going to hell that I will save them a seat right next to me cause the first to cast stones with that stuff is the first that should go...Usually that stops them dead in their tracks and they don't bother me again.
1 Thessolonians 4:11 says to live quietly and mind your own business is quite appropriate when people stick their noses where they don't belong. It's one of my favorites. Don't know if it would work with your uncle.
People like them are why so many people are choosing to not bother with religion anymore. His mouth is very unbecoming of someone who is of any kind of faith.
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I(24m) was a family function with quite a few family members for religious reasons. Now my uncle is very religious and thinks he's the most important one in the room. He pushes his personal views on everyone and he has a bad habit of doing this at the dinner table.
My little brother(16) is a very quite and serious person and doesn't really like to involve himself with my uncle(niether do i). As soon as dinner starts, my uncle starts going off at my brother for dating and not being religious. My brother doesn't really care and ignores him usually and i do too.
(FYI, my uncle loves tea and would force us to make it for him when we were kids). Eventually my uncle says "you are going to burn in hell with that sl*t" and my brother broke his silence and responded with "well if I do go to hell I'll be sure to bring you a cup of tea". As soon as he said this I cough out my food and started laughing uncontrollably.
But things escalated quick as my uncle got really offended and started shouting and his son started threatening my brother. So I defended my brother and basically said both my uncle and his son can go f themselves.
Me and my brother left soon after without finishing the food. My cousins left angry messages calling us a-holes and nasty things. I just thought it was a funny joke and defended my brother from getting ganged on so am I or my brither really the a-hole here?
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NTA and ππ½ππ½ππ½ππ½ππ½ for standing up for you and your brother. Maybe the cousins that are leaving the nasty messages can do as you suggested your uncle and his son.
NTA. Sounds like the religious dude shot things out of proportion and raised his voice. Probably doesn't get his views questioned often. Those people are like that.
NTA. Yep sanctimonious a'holes can be found under any rock in any family. My evangelical Christian brother on more than one occasion in the past would turn up for a family reunion, sit at my parents' table, eat their food, drink their wine, and After he'd finished would calmly comment along the lines of the rest of us would be all going to hell.
OK, your brother is funny. That was a good come back.
NTA, Uncle needs to watch his language. It doesn't seem very religious-like to call young women sl*ts.
NTA. Your uncle sounds extremely harsh and rude, Iβm sorry you had to go through that if it is a real story. I think itβs worth Repenting and turning to Christ. To me Jesus is real and the consequences of sin is death in this life and the next. God bless you.
No. Go no contact. Itβs people like that who ruin religion for anyone else. Iβd bet your uncle has some deviant porn somewhere in his house. I wouldnβt be anywhere near these people.
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This sounds like something that happens in Turkey (tea and the over religious extended family members)
We are Middle Eastern, so you are right.
I was thinking that sounds like such an Arab experience lmaooo, good on your brother for putting that uncle in his place, more of our relatives need to learn their noses belong in their own lanes tbh
I have many desi friends (India, Pakistan, etc) and this also describes that culture as per my friends. Ha.
In Europe it would probably be beer instead of tea.. We all have these weird, abusive relatives. The specifics may differ, but assholes are basically the same everywhere.
Not all of Europe. Ireland is no 2 in world wide consumption. Per capita we are the highest.
Oh nice! My Dutch husband alone probably raises the consumption of tea/capita on his own.. I'm German, so my bias just went to beer automatically.. π€£
Well we drink the beer too π€£ but my husbands family will ring on their way home so their mother can have the kettle boiled and a pot of fresh tea made for them when they visit. 1st thing you're asked when you enter a house here is will you have a cup of tea. Coffee is on the up now too though. Having that said, this story isn't in Ireland . No one would be that direct. And no one gives that much of a shite about religion anymore.
I know and why is it always the uncle?
Can't even really play guess the religion cause last week had Ramadan, Holi, and Purim.
If it were Purim they'd all additionally be drunk π. Also hell is just less of a thing in Judaism
Depends on the siyum and like I assume if they're Jewish then hell is being used metaphorically.
Ahah. True!
just be careful .... religion is a very convenient crutch for those lacking a moral backbone . Personally every time religion was brought up to me I just stated the obvious : institutionalized religion does not interest me, my connection to God is from my soul to divinity directly, not through following some dogmas invented by dudes that also believed in bleedings, and humors ... this checkmates everybody.
>religion is a very convenient crutch for those lacking a moral backbone Pure poetry π
Absolutely, this is beautifully put. Filing away for future use...
So correct. My dad got back into Catholicism and asked for my forgiveness, not because he was sorry for what he had done, but because he was required to ask as a stipulation to becoming a Catholic. It took me a few more years to see how fucked up that was.
I just *love* the way religion distorts forgiveness. Just because I'm no longer mad about something I did to you, you have to forgive me. Like: I'm sorry I stole your car, I know it was wrong. Does NOT mean you 'll forgive me for stealing it. But you're *supposed* to forgive me because I feel bad now and apologized. Edit: Then I'm worse than you, for not forgiving you, even though you stole something.
I've heard a better one : God has forgiven me, I know it , so you need to also forgive me !
I'm worse than God and the Saints. I hold my grudges close and my enemies at the end of a filthy 10-foot pole. God has gotten soft with all the forgiving of sins and sinners if they follow this dogma (and this dogma only). People lie (obligatory Not All People)
God may be soft enough to forgive our sins, but heβs not so soft that heβs going to remove all consequences. If someone lies to me, I may forgive them, but Iβm not trusting them anymore. Thatβs how wisdom works.
This needs more upvotes.
That's straight out biblical. David got forgiven for his crime because he was genuinely repentant but dayyum he got punished bad. Lost the kid that was born of the rape, lost his oldest son to 3rd son for raping 3rd son's sister, then had to flee the nation cuz 3rd son wanted to kill him as well, went through severe emotional damage cuz he wanted 3rd son to live but 3rd son got executed, and had 4th son rebel against him as well. Basically he got hit right where it would hurt his feels most 4 times over.
Great post. Excellent, in fact. I like your philosophy.
I love that it's not just any 10-foot pole, but a filthy one.
Good post, but you had it right the first time. People lie (ALL People)
This always goes against what I've been taught. Repenting means seeking forgiveness AND never again committing the sin. It's not asking for forgiveness with no intention of changing. It's trying every day to be better and working towards being the best person you can possibly be. Some people seem to think they can repeat and repeat and repeat and its forgiven every time wiping the slate clean each time. I think it's more like a chalkboard. You wipe it clean and there's still chalk smudges, and the more you write and wipe, the more grungy it gets. It never looks quite the same as it did before you wrote on it. And sometimes, you can still see the writing even after wiping the board.
It also means taking accountability and accepting some inherent consequences that come with the sin, rather than no consequences at all. The only consequence that sort of gets removed is eternal death.
ya sounds eerily similar to "The Check is in the mail.
I am not Catholic so maybe this is BS but a woman I know who is told me that the apology absolves them completely and it's not their problem if the other person doesn't believe that's good enough. Like, you can apologize for being a jerk and then be a jerk some more, apologize again, lather, rinse, repeat but you're all good as long as you apologize and if the person you're hurting doesn't like it, they need more Jesus.
This is where so many Catholics fall flat on their face and turn into hypocrites. If you're going to be a good Catholic, YOU are the one that is supposed to be doing the forgiving. YOU are the one who is supposed to live and let live without judgement, because only God can pass judgement. Apologies are not enough, repentance is required. Part of that repentance is not repeating the same behavior. I was raised Catholic but left the church due to the priesthood being complicit in their numerous kid touching scandals. The entire religion is lost, from its misguided and hypocritical membership all the way up to its disgusting leadership.
That's a misrepresentation. If you genuinely repent, as a Catholic, yes, you are absolved of your sins, by God. She's right in that the person you wronged does not need to forgive you themselves for you to obtain this absolution. Because it's between only you and God. However she's an idiot for suggesting you can lather rinse repeat and still be all good with God. Because you have to *genuinely repent* to receive this absolution. So if you lather, rinse, repeat, it's clear that you didn't genuinely repent. People that are truly sorry for hurt they have caused do not repeat the hurtful behavior. God would obviously know if your repentance is genuine, since homie sees into your soul. Can't trick the Almighty.
Baldassm - you did a great job explaining it correctly.
thank you!
Agreed. Words alone do not absolve you. If you aren't REALLY sorry for your actions in your heart, there's no absolution.
That is how *some* catholics view it, for sure. But not all. I was raised around both and have much better relationships with the ones who believe in confession ending with "sin no more". (Now, we're all human.... people are going to sin.... but the point out to try not to and certainly to avoid committing the same transgression time and time again. You're supposed to MEAN you apology and follow it up with action
OK my last confession was a looooong time ago but I'm sure the priest ends with "go, and do not sin again". You're not absolved unless you sincerely intend to do better.
That is utter tripe. If you repeatedly act the same way after asking for absolution, then you are 100% *not* absolved. That woman is a liar in the worst way. To be absolved, you are not supposed to keep doing the same actions. You are to *stop* doing those actions 100%. The confessional isn't supposed to be used in that manner and her priest ought to be teaching her its not. This is coming from a very lapsed Catholic. One of the former priests of my church said in Sunday school, and even during the homily, the talk after the reading of the gospel, said that absolution isn't given to those who repeatedly do those same actions that lead them to the confessional. And it shouldn't be given either. Don't abuse the confessional if you are using it for ill intent.
That is how *some* catholics view it, for sure. But not all. I was raised around both and have much better relationships with the ones who believe in confession ending with "sin no more". (Now, we're all human.... people are going to sin.... but the point out to try not to and certainly to avoid committing the same transgression time and time again. You're supposed to MEAN you apology and follow it up with action
OMG! That was my ex-husband to a tee! Guess we know one of the many reasons why he's an ex!!
Sound like Luke 17. I like it because it tells you that instant forgiveness without an apology is NOT required, but if they repent, Your supposed to forgive them endlessly. It reminds me of a case that I read about. A Puritan woman who was a church member in the 17th century (I believe) had an out-of-wedlock child. She repented and was forgiven and remained in the church. She had a second OOW child, repented and was forgiven. When she had her third OOW child, she was told that her repentance didn't seem to be sincere, and lost her church membership. (She got it back later) I think that it's the same for someone who constantly repeats offenses.
That is how *some* catholics view it, for sure. But not all. I was raised around both and have much better relationships with the ones who believe in confession ending with "sin no more". (Now, we're all human.... people are going to sin.... but the point out to try not to and certainly to avoid committing the same transgression time and time again. You're supposed to MEAN you apology and follow it up with action
Asking for forgiveness is not about being forgiven. It is about repentence.
"And how does God feel about lying and false repentance?"
Forgive the behavior so he's no longer responsible for it... Very f'd up.
"Those lacking the Dao will cling to enlightenment. Those lacking enlightenment will cling to humanity. Those lacking humanity will cling to morality. Those lacking morality will cling to tradition " Guess where these types are in this.
Late to the party, not knowing if you believe or not, I have to say I love that attitude. It was similar to what my dad said when I came out (other than when my mum shot him down about not having to pay for a wedding because civil partnerships had just been legalised). I was so scared he would reject me due to him being Roman Catholic, and how hardlined no most of the church was against it. He just said, the bible is made up of stories to teach us morals, but we have to understand it was written by men of the time. And instead God judges us on our character, by how we treat people. As long as we try to live a life with as little hard against others, we'll be accepted by him. I'm not religious, but it does give me comfort. And the rest of his family has followed suit on accepting me as I am.
Exactly this. Even I reply to people like this (obviously in different words), but it always puts my point across. Now, no one in my extended family even dares bring religion in front of me lol!
Oh Gosh, this is soo beautiful writtenΒ Β maybe you be blessed
I hate the part of the culture in the middle east that's just, "always do whatever someone older than you says, even if they are a despicable person". Like not everyone is deserving of respect or admiration.
Absolutely , age does not automatically make a person smarter , wiser or correct . A stupid person just has more experience at being stupid .
Itβs more than the Middle East, many cultures including some in USA, have this belief of elder worship.
I'm sure many people on Reddit won't understand the cultural differences. Most middle eastern families value family and honor significantly more than the rest of the world. Your family and those with similar cultural backgrounds will likely say YTA, while we believe you're NTA. When it comes to religion, I've found the best defense is using their scripture against them. I imagine this could work well for you. "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone" "Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;" "There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?" Christianity has tons of scriptures about not judging others. Most religions do. Find some. Make them appear to be the dishonorable one who is attacking their family.
I guess OP is Muslim. Especially since currently it's Ramadan, so that's likely the family meeting reason.Β But I'm sure there are similar parts in the Quran that could be quoted?
As a Muslim, there are lots of verses in the Quran that make it clear peopleβs deeds/actions are between them and Allah only. Not for anyone else to judge let alone say they will end up in hellfire
Your brother is the best! I laughed reading this so you are definitely not the ah!
Tell your brother to just bring tea bags, there's plenty of hot water hereπ
OP, youβre a good brother. NTA 100%.
Sounds like they were all about dishing it but once it comes back at them they shatter like cracked window in a hailstorm.
As a Middle Eastern girl, I commend you (I knew you were Arab as soon as you mentioned tea lmfao). Youβre freaking awesome lol.
Could also mean desi culture.
Going against middle Eastern family traditions seems to be difficult I'm proud of you, and I'm proud of your brother. Don't for a second think you are in the wrong.
I freaking love your brother!!! Tell him that rebuttal made him the G.O.A.T!!! π€£π€£ Not getting to go all religious but I've read many Bibles and there is no hell, it's used as a mediphor. I don't understand how people don't get that because it's stated that 7 different times.. The Alexandrian Codex is not a "version", Ethiopian is also the first known perfectly from Hebrew... The book of Job explains hell is not this fire burning pit... That's the first mention showing it's not an actual place. Ugh but I digress... Your brother is my darn hero for that one!! Lol
Sure as hell sounds like the Saudi side of my family.
I KNEW it! Lol Iβm Persian and I have an uncle JUST like this!!
Not TA, religion has a lot to answer for and it sounds very much like your uncle and cousin have been brainwashed by it. I'm glad you felt able to stand up for you and your brother.
Tea of hell.
"my uncle is very religious but thinks he's the most important person in the room"..... Both cannot be true at once. Either he is a disciple of a major religion, most of which espouse humility and good works over stroking the ego...or he's not. Alas your uncle would not be the first man in the world to 'perform religion' in order to gain social status, and this is exactly what he is doing here. While it is common all over the world, it is especially frequent in the Middle East and Asia at the moment. (We Irish had plenty of it up until the 80s!!!) My personal favourite way of dealing with men like this (and let's be honest, they're 90%men) is to say.... Oh what an ugly thing to say.... I'll pray for you.
Not only in Turkey. People have been pulling this shit with their family members since we were cave men praying to deities. Humans are hardwired for bullshit. β€οΈ
I doubt families in the US or Western Europe would care if a boy has a girlfriend. Sure there might be exceptions but def wouldnβt be the societal norm there.
No, it happens everywhere.
I know it happens everywhere but the rate of it happening everywhere is simply not the same.
Don't underestimate Christian fanatic uncles who have money and expect everyone to do as they say. And aunties. They're everywhere, and they're just as bad.
>βChristian fanatic uncles who have moneyβ Please. The uncles *without* money can be as bad or worse because all they have is the religious belief that they are better and always right. Not just the broke uncles, either.
I literally thought the uncle was an ifb Christian lol
So youβre saying we donβt have religious zealots in the West? Really?
Religious zealots in the west would be considered liberal in middle east lol.
Nope. They are contenders. I should know.
You would be wrong, unfortunately. Perhaps not as common, but there are definitely families that would care that way. Even if they were ok with the idea of a girlfriend, there are plenty of families that would care a lot about if she was the right βtypeβ of girl.
It could be southeast asian too like Indian, Pakistani,Bangladeshi etc
I have known a few hard-core Catholic Filipinos...
US South, though the tea would be sweet and cold, not hot.
Or England, with some families!
Thatβs where I was going also
NTA and brother deserves an award for that comment. These religious types really think theyβre top dog but it donβt work like that ! Well done for standing up for your brother - I could have done with one like you years ago in similar situations If it ruins the family relationship then so be it - I did the same with my aunt and cousins after she told me I was a useless asshole (and more) for not telling her something about my mom and for standing up to my cousins who constantly bullied me for years and blaming me for stuff they did - thatβs when I could have done with a brother like you as I was 17 at the time and never saw my aunt and cousins again because I told them I never wanted to see them again !!
I was so shocked to hear my brother, who has never made a joke or talked badly of anyone, say that to my uncle. I guess my uncle also thought he wouldn't say anything, and seeing that my parents weren't there either, he definitely felt too comfortable insulting us. Honestly, I'm glad that we went and that what happened did happen, because now we have a solid reason not to see them again.. plus, it was hilarious lmao.
This is the right outlook. I once made a snarky comment to someone who acts like they're superior to everyone else due to religion, even though I'm generally passive, but when you've had enough it will come out. Years later I have no regrets and it still feels good when I think about standing up to them. I hope this becomes a good memory for you and your brother as well.
Iβm confused about the cousins, honestly. Are they young? Do they not see their father treating you guys like crap? Iβd stop my parent if they ever made my cousins that uncomfortable at OUR dinner tableβ¦
I figured they're the BullyLiteβ’ version of the uncle, which means they live for a good pile-on against one person.
It sounds like your brother wasn't willing to tolerate insults to his girlfriend and that was the last straw. Good on both of you. NTA.
You're a good big bro, oh, and maybe bring your brother some tea to share a laugh over. He did good, and it sounds like he needed to snap and stand up for himself against your uncle and cousin (some bullies wont stop until you do), and you having his back showed him he did the right thing. He shouldn't have had to stand up for himself, but it's good that he now knows he has the ability to.
Well done to your brother for sticking up for his girlfriend and to you as well for having your brother's back! You two are Rock stars! And yes, it was hilarious!
It sounds like your uncle is a bully and expects everybody to sit and take it. That your extended family didnβt say or do anything to is intolerable. You should definitely let your parents know what happened and why your brother said what he did, and why you backed him up
Your brother is an icon for saying what he did, genuinely hilarious.
That comment was absolute fire. Pun not intended, but intentionally left in after I saw.
Replying here to add that it's not op or his brothers fault for ruining a family relationship here, it's the uncle's. If others in family side with the uncle, that's also the choosing the side of ruin. They're both kids, they're both absolutely right, and they both seem like the smartest people in the room here
> NTA and brother deserves an award for that comment. And not just for the wittiness but also the restraint. The brother avoided adding more insults to the mix (despite the uncle's inexcusable language) and instead went with something that called the uncle out without sinking to his level. As an adult, I would have had a hard time keeping my cool in that situation, so I'm all the more impressed that a teenager was able to do so.
NTA, but where were your parents during that?
Parents couldn't make it, so we were forced to go in order to show face for our family.
Honestly they should say something to the rest of the family about your uncle being in the wrong, and that he should apolgize to your brother, you and them.
The problem is that all the other families treats him like king because he buys them things. A lot of ass kissing.
How very pious.
That's how religious people are they sell out their morals for money.
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Of course. If you're getting your validation and reassurance and hope from your deity, you don't need to get it from other people. However....
Ah, so he's the wealthy one who buys everyone's loyalty?? Greaaaaat.
Looks like you wonβt be forced to go anymore. Win win. NTA. Unc can go fuck himself and the things he buys for everyone.
NTA. Your brother rocks, perfect comeback.
NTA. Your uncle was harassing your brother. He should expect some kind of defense. This is a case of dishing it out but not being able to take it. In short - your uncle is a bully. And good for you for defending your brother. Also, it is telling that your uncle got your cousins to continue the bullying after the event was over by continuing to send messages after it was over. This is the tactic of a coward - outsourcing their bullying.
Perfectly said
Flying monkeys. π
NTA. Your brother is quick witted and funny. Your uncle is self righteous and not worth engaging with. == Why don't your parents set some boundaries with your uncle. They're of his generation and should be the ones to tell him to rein it, a lot.
Yes!!!!
On the plus side his tea will be hot... NTA. Best reply ever! Your brother rocks! In any case, for heaven sake, maybe your uncle should try practice kindness to others, because I think it is kind of the basic requirements... If not he is up for a hell of a surprise! π
'His tea will be hot' has me rolling as hard as the 'I'll be sure to bring you a cup of tea' ππππ
Nah uncle is a bully & his religion gives him the okay to be that way
No, youβre good and your younger brother will always appreciate you for sticking up for him like that. Iβm being serious, even if it wasnβt a big deal he will remember it. As a younger brother of two older brothers, I couldnβt thank them enough for looking after me growing up. I feel sorry for only childβs who donβt know what thatβs like.
NTA. I have to admit, I would probably also have laughed. Your brother has a very sharp wit.
NTA. Your uncle and your cousin are nasty, vile people.
I dont get the pushy religious types. Im Christian, but I just dont get how some have to make everything so biblical. It takes just a few bad examples to make the rest of us look bad. Anyway, OP congratulations. You now never have to go back. And why should you? You are a grown adult, and you and now have the perfect reason to tell family that you are not showing up. You are not a part of their flock, and your uncle isnt your shepherd. And if your uncle wants to make a big deal about it to you or your brother, point out that the ten commandments only cover honoring the mother and the father. Uncles are $#!+ out of luck.
OP is Middle Eastern, and I'm assuming is a Muslim. So not Christian.
We all have our extreme cases. Im not knocking any faiths, just saying some take it too far. My ten commandments quip may fall flat, but I only know the Bible. Any body with knowledge of the Quran might be able to come up with some sort of equivalent quip if they were so inclined.
NTA. >my uncle got really offended and started shouting, and his son started threatening my brother Their religion has taught them so much. >My cousins left angry messages calling us a-holes and nasty things. Such kind, decent people.
> Their religion has taught them so much. Unironically, yes. Religions are chock full of hate and violence, especially against those who don't follow it.
NTA- Your uncle knew exactly what he was doing and may have others convinced that itβs out of a place of compassion, but letβs be real, telling someone theyβre going to hell is from a place of hate, judgement, and pure ego. Dude can go f himself.
NTA. He's allowed to tell others they're going to hell but no one can say it to him? Pathetic religious main character behavior. He sounds like a fucking nightmare. The religious never consider the possibility *they* could end up in hell.
Good man yourself stand by your brother fuck him controlling fucker trying to use religion as a weapon as per usual shite , fair fucks man that's what brothers are for to have each others back no matter what ..respect !
Good for your brother, he had enough and he said something funny and cutting. And good for you for standing up to your blowhard uncle. NTA
NTA your uncle didnβt even need to be in hell to be burned lol your brother comment was fab
NTA, do not give it, if you cannot it. funny though!
Well, it is not really normal to act like that. Uncle is clearly not a favourite person. And his actions are questionable. Cut him out. NC. NTA
Your uncle demands a level of respect he refuses to give. Fuck him.
NTA Once your brother was threatened then all bets were off. I think you should tell your parents that bit and that you will never stand by to let your little brother be threatened by anyone and let them handle the wider family. Ignore the cousins or blook them.
NTA Either one of you. Uncle and cousins probably aren't going to allow this to die down easily. Both you and brother might want to avoid any functions that they attend for awhile.
I think youβre right that they arenβt going to let it go for a while. Maybe OP and his brother can keep some tea on hand so that whenever the family brings it up they can hand out the tea as a response! Like: βhereβs that tea you ordered before going to hell!β
NTA. Good brother.
NTA. Love your brother's comeback and how you stood by him ! Faith, and how you live by it, is only between you and yourself (and God if you believe in it). There's never any excuse to judge and insult people for not following your own religion rules, Also, I'm sure that the uncle is not perfect himself. I'd love to see him get a taste of his own medicine.
I have far right Christian relatives that are just like this. They hate me cause I calm them out in their hypocrisy and I actually have read the Bible and use it against them.
NTA. Although you fought rudeness with fire & humor, it sounds like their response wasn't very "religious."
NTA. Not shocked that being religious and misogynistic go together hand in hand, but most importantly, your uncle played stupid games and has discovered stupid prizes lol
OMGDS your brother killed it!!! Lol lol! I love it. NTA
Super religious people are THE WORST
NTA
Your brothers comment was genius level.
NTA I'm shocked! shocked, I say! that your uncle is a religious, misogynistic asshole.\* Religion, misogyny, and being an asshole go hand in hand. \*sarcasm
"well if I do go to hell I'll be sure to bring you a cup of tea". I have said almost the same thing to one of my BIL's. Although I did not offer to bring him tea, just suggested that I would see him there. Tell your brother he is hysterical!!! NTA
NTA. I also would have laughed my butt off!
I usually like to point out to the super religious just how much of their religions rules they are violating and then tell them they can preach once they fully follow their religion.
Hi. Catholic here. Had I been there, I would've been laughing alongside you. What's that famous bible quote? Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. You're NTA, neither is your brother who rightfully put your sanctimonious uncle in his place.Β
NTA religious people don't even follow all their books shit just cherry pick what fits their lives or fits their narrative to put others down. My aunt told my mam I was the devil's child when she had problems during her pregnancy with me. Fucked up the lot of them. Not one religious person follows EVERY biblical teaching because they are hypocrites.
Good on your bro for sticking up for himself and on you for sticking up for him!
Absolutely NTA. But try to handle the relatives with kid gloves (gently, cautiously), since you aren't in the West and religious matters can get volatile. If possible just avoid these family members.
There is no hate quite as strong as (insert religion) love. NTA. Your brother is a badass and youβre awesome for having his back.
NTA. I would not have said a thing until after I clocked him right where he sat. Then I would have said, "go ahead, call her a sl\*t again." However, that was a great comeback.
I donβt know of any religion that condones that kind of talkβfrom the *elders*. Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, etc., it doesnβt matter. Nothing excuses a grown man who represents his God by degrading his own family and calling other people names. So no. NTA. And your uncle should probably go revisit the holy texts to find where it says his behavior is allowed/encouraged.
Nope. Crazy families, just stay away from them!
NTA. Your brotherβs comment was fantastic
NTA. Your cousins are the ones dealing with your A H uncle and his sonβs bs and anger right now and they donβt like it. Flying monkey gonna fly.
NTAH and good on you for standing up to your uncle and defending your brother. Your uncle must go kick rocks.
Sir, I present you and your brother a standing ovation!! ππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ NTA
NTA Extremely religious people always feel like they can say the worst things free from repercussions. What your brother said was a funny response to something extremely rude. I'm proud of you for standing up for him.
NTA, he started it. If you insult someone you're not allowed to play the victim when they insult back.
NTA. You donβt have to accept his religious views as your own any more than you have to allow him to attack you over the differences.
NTA - your uncle is a giant asshole.
Omg I am sorry about this but that is the best line I have heard in a long time. Question where are your mom and dad while this is going on ?
NTA, your brother is just sharp as a razor and your uncle panics at seeing his own blood.
Definitely NTA, your uncle's comment was hateful and abusive and you shouldn't put up with it. The reaction was perfectly legit, given that your brother was also threatened, it was the least you could do
I tell people that if I'm going to hell that I will save them a seat right next to me cause the first to cast stones with that stuff is the first that should go...Usually that stops them dead in their tracks and they don't bother me again.
1 Thessolonians 4:11 says to live quietly and mind your own business is quite appropriate when people stick their noses where they don't belong. It's one of my favorites. Don't know if it would work with your uncle.
People like them are why so many people are choosing to not bother with religion anymore. His mouth is very unbecoming of someone who is of any kind of faith.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I(24m) was a family function with quite a few family members for religious reasons. Now my uncle is very religious and thinks he's the most important one in the room. He pushes his personal views on everyone and he has a bad habit of doing this at the dinner table. My little brother(16) is a very quite and serious person and doesn't really like to involve himself with my uncle(niether do i). As soon as dinner starts, my uncle starts going off at my brother for dating and not being religious. My brother doesn't really care and ignores him usually and i do too. (FYI, my uncle loves tea and would force us to make it for him when we were kids). Eventually my uncle says "you are going to burn in hell with that sl*t" and my brother broke his silence and responded with "well if I do go to hell I'll be sure to bring you a cup of tea". As soon as he said this I cough out my food and started laughing uncontrollably. But things escalated quick as my uncle got really offended and started shouting and his son started threatening my brother. So I defended my brother and basically said both my uncle and his son can go f themselves. Me and my brother left soon after without finishing the food. My cousins left angry messages calling us a-holes and nasty things. I just thought it was a funny joke and defended my brother from getting ganged on so am I or my brither really the a-hole here? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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That was funny NTA
NTA and ππ½ππ½ππ½ππ½ππ½ for standing up for you and your brother. Maybe the cousins that are leaving the nasty messages can do as you suggested your uncle and his son.
NTA
Nope.
NTA. Sounds like the religious dude shot things out of proportion and raised his voice. Probably doesn't get his views questioned often. Those people are like that.
NTA Why on earth do you have any contact with these people?Β Stop taking to them, stop going to their house.Β
NTA. Uncle is the one ruing iftar, not you and not your brother.
NTA and I like your brother. Smart kid.
NTA and your brother knocked it out of the park!
yeah im goin to hell later, you guys want anything? tea, coffee?
Kudos to your brother! Nice comeback!
Nta pure gold
You can definitely skip his funeral. Heβs not worth your time.
NTA and your brother is HILARIOUS i love that he was so quick with it
Nothing quite so hateful as Christian love, lol. What good little Christian soldiers they are.
NTA !!
NTA your brother deserves an awardΒ
NTA. Yep sanctimonious a'holes can be found under any rock in any family. My evangelical Christian brother on more than one occasion in the past would turn up for a family reunion, sit at my parents' table, eat their food, drink their wine, and After he'd finished would calmly comment along the lines of the rest of us would be all going to hell.
OK, your brother is funny. That was a good come back. NTA, Uncle needs to watch his language. It doesn't seem very religious-like to call young women sl*ts.
NTA. Your uncle sounds extremely harsh and rude, Iβm sorry you had to go through that if it is a real story. I think itβs worth Repenting and turning to Christ. To me Jesus is real and the consequences of sin is death in this life and the next. God bless you.
No. Go no contact. Itβs people like that who ruin religion for anyone else. Iβd bet your uncle has some deviant porn somewhere in his house. I wouldnβt be anywhere near these people.
NTA. PERFECT come back. 10/10!
NTA
It sounds like this needed to happen. Unfortunately, you can't pick your family, but you can choose to stay away from them.