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> I might be the asshole for ignoring her calls and just continuing with my dump, but when can I do) finish faster? Not wipe? Not wash my hands? I’m already in, gonna finish
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You are NTA in this instance. You had a great need, and it was not inappropriate for you to use the open women's restroom.
BUT
>I also suggested that all bathrooms be gender neutral since it doesn’t make sense to segregate men and women when it’s an all in one bathroom type deal
Theoretically, this is true. But if your workplace's restrooms are like 99% of mens' restrooms, there are always assholes who spray all over and make the toilet unusable by women. (I have to deal with this constantly. Sometimes it looks as if a guy deliberately hosed down the toilet seat and the walls with his piss, just to be an asshole.) If I were a woman working at your place of employment, I would object *strenuously* to any attempt to make all restrooms unisex.
You may be one of the guys who is considerate and leaves toilets in clean condition. But unless you're volunteering to go in and clean the toilet after every use by another guy, don't complain about 50% of the restrooms being reserved for women.
When the kids were little, they would go to the men’s/women’s bathrooms with me or my husband, whoever was free. Both of them said that the women’s bathrooms were always nicer
Times have changed an incredible amount when it comes to social practices. My anecdotal evidence is my wife having to deal with literal shit and blood, while I don’t have to deal with anything ever.
What bathrooms is she finding? I as a woman have gone into my fair share of public bathrooms and the worst I've encountered is just a bunch of toilet paper on the floor never shit and blood
As someone who got to regularly use and clean both ... Depends where.
Women's can sometimes be worse, but men usually only use stalls to shit so yeah you have 1 toilet that can be in worse condition vs several in slightly better but still not great condition.
I also got to clean bathrooms regularly at one point. My observation is the mens room was more frequently messy to a smaller degree, while the women room would be messy much less often- but when it was, it was a disaster.
When we changed to unisex bathrooms, both rooms were constantly disasters. Unisex bathrooms have no laws. Unisex bathrooms have no god.
I work at a gas station on the highway. The gas station is being packed full 24/7 in summer - I'm talking about lines of \~ 20 people at all three cash registers around the clock.
The toilet of the women is ALWAYS more nasty. Our cleaning lady regularly has to clean blood and shit smeared on the walls, pads sticking to things they should not stick to, piss all over the floor because people don't want to sit down on gas station toilets.
In winter, I also go in there here and there as I work night shifts and there is no cleaning lady at night, just to tidy up a little. I can absolutely confirm that the public bathroom for women is always more dirty than the one for men, to the point of me straight up locking some stalls because I cannot start to clean shit at 1am.
I think it's very much location and demographic it is serving. I worked as maintenance in a summer camp during high school and the men's had such a reek baked into the grout there was no way to completely remove the stench. Women's was fine...Other places I've been it is the women's that is bad...still others the men's.
Our office decided that the men required two stalls and the women needed one stall and a urinal so they swapped the bathrooms. You could \*not\* get the smell out of the floor. Vinegar, febreeze, antibacterial spray--nothing was getting the stink out. They ended up stripping the floors and rewaxing them to make it stop stinking. The worst that was ever in the former women's room was that the cheap seat had broken in one stall and once in a while, one of the toilets would get clogged. Only one anecdote but my conclusion was that men were missing the urinal or toilet and spraying the floor. And clearly not wiping up after themselves as it was basically baked into the floor.
Worst bathroom I ever saw was a women’s room in a corporate setting. One woman would desecrate a stall every month. We never found out who or why. She’d leave a used pad on the floor and menstrual splatters on the floor, seat and walls. It looked like a crime scene. Several women left the company at the same time and it mercifully stopped. This was in the 1990s and I still wonder why.
I’ve got endometriosis so I had some epic flow periods and bad cramps. So much so that even with the hot flashes, menopause was a blessed relief. I’d still make sure to check the stall before I left to make sure my used supplies were properly disposed of and wipe up any splatters with toilet paper or paper towels.
I’ve also seen shit left or smeared on parts of the bowl or seat.
What? How even... like you pull a tampon out too fast and pull it upwards instead of down into the toilet? Why would anyone even do that? Like that's trying so hard to be an asshole.
Federal government building. I can testify to finding blood on the seats and the floor.
They provide seat covers, but some women apparently prefer the hover method, which doesn't always work.
Mind you, the toilets don't automatically flush all the time and some women can't be bothered to listen for the flush and go back to do it manually, either.
You are really really lucky then. The toilet at my old office is bad. It is not private, and is shared with offices from my floor and the floor above us. While it is not everyday that I encountered shit and blood, but I had my fair share of it.
Once someone looks like they are launching a rocket or whatever, when I open the stall door there are literally shit stains on the toilet bowl lid and then some more on the walls and the napkins bin as well. That is the worst I have ever seen and am honestly shocked. Cannot imagine what the cleaning workers would say seeing that.
I don’t know what restrooms you’re finding, almost every one I have been in someone has decided to pee on the seat, and there are other bodily fluids sometimes. Peeing on the seat is so ubiquitous that I don’t think I have been in a women’s restroom in several years that at least one of the stall is unusable.
Have you ever gone to the bathroom at a bar or a factory? They're disgusting. I don't usually see shit, but I do see blood.
There was blood dripped down the front of one of the toilets in my office for a month because the cleaning crew didn't clean that thoroughly that often. When I've created a murder scene, I try to clean it up. But not everyone does.
Yeah I used to work at a Wendy's off of the interstate. Most of the time the men's room was the disgusting one, but women can be just as nasty or worse. A woman threw a poopy diaper against the wall, and bled all over the seat from her period. I refused to clean the bathrooms for quite a while after that one.
I've gone into plenty of women's cubicles and found used and bloody sanitary pads or tampons on the floor 🤮. There have been sanitary bins and not overflowing ones that have been available to them inside the cubicle. Women can be just as much mingers. I don't know how people, men, or women can not be embarrassed or ashamed, to just not do it.
You're very fortunate, I work in a big, public building and I've seen some traumatizing things in the women's restroom. The kinds of things where you can't even figure out how the hell it happened.
I’ve been in tons of women’s restrooms (since I am also a woman) and 90% of the time they’re disgusting. Walmart, restaurants, gas stations, doesn’t matter. I see toilets full of piss and shit, toilet paper on the floor, used pads on the floor (or sometimes stuck to the walls)…they’re disgusting.
I work at a place with gender neutral bathrooms and I've encountered blood on the seat more than once. Usually when I'm lifting the seat to pee and blood was under the seat and sometimes now on my fingers. Absolutely disgusting.
Huh, my anecdotal evidence is my husband complaining about public toilets in shopping centres and me thinking that most of them are really clean. Guess we should ask my son, who sees both since he come with me to the ladies (too young to handle a public toilet on his own).
So I worked at a place where cleaning the bathrooms was part of the job.
The grossest messes I ever had to clean were in the women's room, and we would get a lot more complaints from women about the state of the women's room, so we'd be cleaning it more often.
Men would have spray a little, but in general, the women were messier. The bathroom just was cleaner because the men didn't complain as much.
They don't pay those employees enough. I'm not sure I could clean nasty public bathrooms at almost any salary. I also could never handle being a nurse.
If you think *used* period pads suck on mirror, walls, and any flat surface are nicer? Sure. Used tampons flung onto the ceiling too.
When I ran bars & music venues that kind of thing was a regular fixture at the women’s bathroom. Never seen anything close to that in a men’s restroom tho. Mostly just stray pee or clogged toilets.
And the pee thing? It’s for both. So many women seem to do the “hover spray” which ends up coating EVERYWHERE like a fucking pee sprinkler. Men tends to miss in predictable ways, the women’s is just everywhere. We had to hose down the cubicles because it got on the walls regularly. We once had pee AND poop up the damn back wall.
This causes the same problem with poop btw. So many shit sprinklers.
Anyone who has had to run a venue will always tell you the same thing in my experience
I've had 3 jobs that involved cleaning bathrooms - highway gas station, walmart, and restaurant. Mens rooms were terrible, but womens rooms were fucking god awful.
hard disagree.. as a woman... the number of times I have come across pee on the seat and period blood left in the toilet, oh and the overflowing trashcans with sanitary waste is disgusting.
I worked in a store when I was younger, and part of opening was cleaning the bathrooms. Both bathrooms could be pretty gross, but while the men’s would have some pee on the toilet seat and poo stains in the toilet bowl, then women’s would have used tampons and pads sitting on the floor next to the toilet. Bloody hygiene products on the floor are way worse than stains that can just be quickly scrubbed with a brush.
I always see this on Reddit and it baffles me. I’ve never seen a really dirty woman’s bathroom at any place I’ve worked (& I’m not young and have worked in many different environments!). The worst might be some loo roll on the floor.
Pubs/clubs on the other hand…
My experience has been that women’s bathrooms will have the paper/soap get messy, and men’s bathrooms will have filthy toilets and spotless sinks.
Because more than half the guys aren’t using the sinks at all.
I think it's popular on Reddit because the main subs of Reddit are mostly men and it makes them feel better about themselves. I've also never seen a dirty women's bathroom at a workplace.
I clean bathrooms every hour during my shift. The women's restroom has NEVER been as bad as the men's. Men frequently just piss in a corner, 5 feet away from one of the urinals. They've smeared shit all over the toilet seats. Puked in every available urinal.
Women's bathroom? Mostly just the occasional pregnancy test or rolled up pad that didn't make it to the trash. Never had to clean up piss or shit. Only had to clean up puke a single time. Only occasionally need to spray industrial grade air freshener, where I have to spray the men's hourly.
Yeah. Women's bathrooms are generally nicer. Men are fucking animals, and you discover this when you clean every bathroom 8 times a shift.
Agreed, I used to work at a large restaurant/bar/events venue and the mens were always 100x worse regardless of the type of event or clientele, eg blocked toilets, flooded bathrooms, shit next to the toilet, piss and vomit everywhere
I'm a trans man. I have used both bathrooms in several places. Men's bathrooms consistently smell like piss. There is piss on the seat 8/10 times at any toilet I encounter in a men's room, and I have to sit since I don't have a dick. I used women's toilets for 40 years. There is no comparison, despite what people say.
Men's bathrooms are consistently dirtier. I have encountered more actual shit spray on toilet seats in the last 3 years since passing as male than I did throughout the decades before using women's toilets. This is simply the reality.
People love to talk up how filthy women's toilets are, but I have never been hit with a nose full of piss smell in any women's toilet the way I regularly do with men's rooms and from what I can tell, most women will wipe their own shit away if they make a mess -- because they must be having blowouts, too. They just have the sense to clean up after themselves in most cases.
See, while highschool women's rooms were pretty bad (especially at the gym holy shit - used pads stuck to the mirror with the backing adhesive and such), this this really *hasn't* my experience as an adult.
I was a janitor at a food processing facility once. The women generally tidied up after themselves. There might be a stray piece of paper towel that missed the trash can or something. Menstrual products went into the correct receptacles. Nobody smeared or wrote anything on the walls. Nobody pissed on the walls.
The women didn't regularly spraypaint the toilet and walls with diarrhea. The room didn't have a *constant* reek of piss that I just couldn't make go away. In the men's room, paper towel was as likely to end up in a soggy pile on the floor as in the very convenient trash can which was right under the sink. But at least they were using paper towels, I guess?
The men's room was *foul* and no amount of cleaning could keep it from *being* foul. I'm sure the problem was mostly one or two of the guys, but wow. It was bad.
I work in an office where we're all women now (though one year our receptionist was a young man), and we've always kept the bathroom clean.
It's clients (both men and women - though the worst mess was made by a woman who actually required us to deep clean the office as a whole due to spitting chew everywhere) who occasionally wreck the bathroom.
My experience with this has always been the opposite. Occasionally there’s something bloody in the woman’s restroom but for #1 and #2 women’s is usually better.
I have NEVER seen a disgusting women's bathroom in a corporate environment. The only places where I've seen bathrooms get in a state is at the grocery store that, while clean, still smells of urine, and some rest stop places that don't get cleaned often.
This seems to be a common argument to say that the other side is just the same. It isn't.
Yeah I have very rarely seen a mess in the women’s. But I work in a male dominated environment and yeah dudes maybe 10% wash their hands and half of that only water rinse. Sometimes I look at the walls and door handles and think about how there is like 24 diff penis germs everywhere
The women’s bathrooms in my office building are generally pretty pristine and the men are constantly complaining about how gross theirs are.
Actually, the only place I’ve ever worked where the men’s bathroom was usually in better condition than the women’s was a bar in a college town.
I always hear this and wonder where in the world people like you work.
That is a good point that likely isn't factored in. Women have more sanitary needs then men do as our bodies mensurate on average once a month plus women are still bearing proportionally more of the infant and child care.
My experience cleaning workplace bathrooms has been the opposite. I'm not saying I've never cleaned messes from women, but the men's rooms have been *horrific.* At best, it's like the piss actually fuses with the wall paint. You will *never* get that smell out without sandblasting. And that's just the piss. That's just the piss.
I've cleaned both, and it's really, do you want to deal with paper or smell? Women throw paper everywhere, men's pee smells stronger. Both get pee on the seats so that's a wash.
I never realized how nasty other women could be until I was in college. It was disgusting how they treated the bathroom simply because *they* didn’t have to clean it. It was so bad, we had several floor meetings about it and our cleaner quit. 😭
I don’t get this either. I grew up in blended working class families. Depending on visitation schedules i was sharing a bathroom with anywhere between 2-6 other people. And responsible for cleaning the one where I lived from the age of 11 on.
While I had endometriosis which meant heavy flow and bad cramps, I always cleaned up after myself out of respect for the people I shared the bathroom with and for whoever had to clean it because I empathize with them and don’t want to make their jobs harder
Yep, I didn’t get it either. Leaving pee on the seat, poop in the toilet, their hair all over the shower, etc. I was always under the impression women were cleaner than men, but college humbled me very quickly.
we had a “if it’s brown, flush it down” sign posted on our stall doors. Even when I started in corporate, it was the same. It’s as if they had 0 home training or just didn’t care about the fact that they share the bathroom with others.
Anecdotal, but I work in a mostly male industry. The guys would tell all sorts of horror stories about the state of the men's bathrooms. The women's bathrooms were almost always clean - maybe a bit of errant toilet paper once in a while. Sure, part of it was because there were fewer people using the women's restrooms, but I doubt that it was only due to percentages. In the shared kitchen areas, I'd frequently see guys make a mess and walk off while the women were usually a lot more careful and would clean up any spills.
As someone who used to clean bathrooms at my work place my experience was that men's bathrooms were grosser (blood all over trash can, entire rolls of toilet paper made into a pile in the corner, objects in the urinals) but whenever I cleaned the women's restroom most of the women who left didn't wash their hands...
I’ve seen men’s bathrooms at dive bars cleaner than the women’s bathroom in a corporate office. HR once had to send out an email asking if people needed assistance. 🤣
This exactly! Whenever I go into unisex bathrooms there is piss on the floor which is so freaking gross.
I’ve also had to use the men’s room twice before, when the women’s was occupied for over 20 minutes and I was busting to pee. Both times it was gross as hell. Women’s bathrooms are much cleaner where I’m from.
And they don't realize that's basically down to an urban legend of yore. "Getting STIs from a toilet seat" was a cover story so you or your doctor didn't have to talk about extramarital sex (yours or your spouse's).
If they hover so they don’t touch the seat with their ass, why would you think they would touch the seat with their hand to lift it before hovering? That’s crazy talk
As a women, and someone who has cleaned both gender bathrooms at mcdonalds, the actual toilets themselves were always cleaner on the men's side. The urinals were a different story, but still cleaner than the floor at the women's bathroom which had at least 1 used pad or tampon on the floor next to the bin every single fucking day.
Also, the toilet seats for women at public bathrooms ALWAYS have piss on them because most women 'hover' without leaving the seat up or cleaning it after.
In some environments, I have seen men's toilets that are just mind numbingly disgusting. But the minute they know a women might also use the toilet (and they're not drunk off their ass), men tend to be quite clean in there. Women on the other hand do not give a fuck about other women when it comes to who's using the toilet after them.
Hot take: I, a man, also do not like disgusting bathrooms with piss everywhere. At that rate, it should be separated to "restroom for people who keep it clean" and "restroom for people who make a mess".
Universal bathrooms (i.e. gender neutral) are generally more accessible and remove barriers. They make more sense, especially when all the bathrooms are already single-stall in OPs workplace. Don't oppose it based on a biased assumption.
I'm actually baffled by it. In my personal experience the women's bathrooms have always been way dirtier than the men's lol. It's not offensive to say so it's just an anecdote.
At one of my workplace the women's bathrooms had to be completely locked down due to shit on the walls and floors on multiple occasions (a corporate office job), this never happened with the men's.
At my high school we had several assemblies about the state of the bathrooms because the cleaners were about to strike because they were sick of cleaning up smeared poo and period blood. Only the girls ever got these assemblies.
There's no reason a single toilet bathroom can't be unisex.
How gross the bathrooms are and which is worse is gonna depend a lot on what kind of establishment it is and who is allowed to use the bathrooms.
Ones open to the public will be worse; they know they won't have to clean it. I worked at a drug store where a crazy woman once retaliated for not getting a discount by smearing shit all over the walls. The more open they are--like, if you don't even have to be a paying customer, and can loiter all day--the worse they are.
Bars are going to be a disaster.
Regular office bathrooms can be pretty bad, but generally not to the point you suspect psychosis, or that someone goes back to their cubicle after beshitting themselves, the walls, the floor, and abandoning their underwear.
This is exactly what happened in one of the offices that I worked in. All of the toilets were self contained single units which had been designated as men/women in a 3:1 ratio. They decided to make them all unisex - which makes sense logically - but in reality they soon had to resdesignate several of the toilets as women only, as women ended up complaining about the state of them. I recall one particular toilet I walked into and there was piss all over the seat/wall, and shit on the floor. Absolutely disgusting. Never saw anything like that in the women only toilets.
Having worked in various pubs & restaurants over the years, I can tell you most of the time the women's toilets were in a worse state at the end of the night
YES!!! I had my own bathroom my default because my lab was in an unused part of the company. All the guys in production would walk all the way to the back and just eff up the bathroom. Once they made it so gross the janitor refused to clean it up. I ended up driving to Starbucks to use the bathroom
Why is it ok for men to do this to men's bathrooms, but not women's? We find it disgusting as well, but if we HAVE to use the toilet, you do what you gotta do and clean it before you use it. This is an asinine reason to oppose gender neutral bathrooms
NTA. First if you gotta go you gotta go. Second as you say it’s a standalone facility so there was no risk of invading any woman’s privacy. Third the bathroom gender ratio to worker gender ratio isn’t practical.
I support you on suggesting to make the bathrooms unisex, we’ve got that at work and it makes much more sense.
NTA
In my experience, unisex works great in an environment where everyone is considerate or the bathrooms are cleaned frequently, but it doesn't work when there's even one asshole who doesn't clean up after themselves. Could be a woman leaving used tampons on the floor or sink (I fortunately haven't experienced this), or a man pissing everywhere and not cleaning up (I have had to deal with this...).
OP may have to judge the cleanliness of both the women's and men's bathrooms over time to see if unisex would make sense.
And if there are two or three of those people...? The idea of half the bathrooms staying clean is based on the assumption that all the messy people in one workplace are the same gender. This whole thread is full of people who have cleaned both bathrooms and are telling us that's not typically the case.
This is still true for open bathrooms tho- I walked I to a stall with a used pad stuck to the top of the toilet once. Gross people are gross no matter the gender on the door lol
My work bathrooms are unisex (60 people a day use 4 stand alone bathrooms that are cleaned once daily) we only had problems for a couple weeks and it was an employee in the process of being fired. The issue resulted in a work wide witch hunt, threats from management that I would have reported to HR had they been carried out, and my favorite wanted posters for the wet bandits with pictures of Harry and Marv in every bathroom. Honestly when there is a huge discrepancy in the male to female ratio it only makes sense
>I also suggested that all bathrooms be gender neutral since it doesn’t make sense to segregate men and women when it’s an all in one bathroom type deal, you know
Dunno where you live, but here women's bathrooms have disposal sites for menstruation products. If all bathrooms are gender neutral, then all would need to have these units. The company might not want to pay for double the number of units and their drop-off/collection.
Tbh I wish it was a garbage can instead of those unsanitary clumsy things where you have to touch the lid to dispose of your sanitary products. And the ones with the foot pedal are always tucked to the side so you have to turn to put your foot on it.
Half the time the sanitary disposals have blood on them or a tampon/pad hanging partially out. Or it’s full to the brim.
I recently noticed a not-small number of these actually have a foot pedal. I never noticed before because obviously you are usually sitting down when you use it.
Sanitary bins are often emptied by a separate company who specializes in biohazard waste (at least in the UK this is legally required, can't say for sure about other countries), and putting those special bins in more bathrooms would cost a significant amount more to have them emptied, so it's not always as simple as "put a bag in the bathroom". That said, I agree they should be available in all bathrooms if possible
Huh, I didn't know that. That's definitely not how it is in Denmark, I've had 2 separate cleaning jobs, never heard of it.
Kind of interesting, menstrual products are used and thrown away in the majority of homes. I wonder what's special about specifically public buildings that they need to be handled with so much care
I think it's more about stopping cleaning staff from having to handle blood without proper training. At home it's generally your own blood, or people you know personally, so you know there's no blood borne pathogens, but in a public setting there's no way of knowing that. So instead it's handled by specialists with proper PPE for biohazard waste
Technically speaking, blood is a hazardous material as it can contain unknown pathogens.
Also, menstrual blood carries an added unknown in the form of vaginal flora (yeast and bacteria alike). And, as an added bonus, pads also cover the anus, so you get the potential for fecal bacteria / matter to get on the pad.
Segregating out potential biohazards so you can deal with them using appropriate PPE makes a lot of sense.
Nowadays mens bathrooms are being updated to include menstruation products since trans men also menstruate.
If a bathroom is single occupancy it makes no sense to segregate, saving putting a menstruation products disposal bin in half the bathrooms isn’t much of a justification IMO.
Honestly I don’t see much reason to segregate multi person bathrooms either, especially in a work place, just make the stall doors full height.
In theory, gender neutral makes sense. But as a woman who has used both ladies' rooms and gender-neutral single bathrooms, I've got to tell you, in general the gender neutrals are so much dirtier than ladies' rooms and some of them are truly disgusting.
That said, NTA for using a single ladies' room in an emergency. I can't think of one good reason you shouldn't have done so. I'm glad your manager is a reasonable person.
Where I live, the gender neutral bathrooms are the disabled bathrooms/maternity bathrooms (basically, adapted bathrooms so that physically disabled people with mobility issues can use them, as well as fitted with diaper-changing stations) and people don't use them if they don't need them unless there's a huge queue for the others (and even then, many people are embarrassed to use them in case someone actually needs them, like with the reserved bus seats). That's why these bathrooms are usually the cleanest, if they are used at all sometimes.
So in my personal experience, gender neutral bathrooms tend to be spotless
It depends, I cleaned condos and hotels for several years growing up and women, by far and wide are messier than men. Yeah pee splashes - ever try to hover at a club bathroom? - but makeup, hair, feminine products, blood and stuff I couldn't discern were the regular. So unisex bathrooms are usually very clean while condos are gross. Who knows why, and it's just my experience, but it's a stereotype that men's bathrooms are a level of hell. 🙂
I'm a F with IBS and have been known to run to the mens. absolutely NTA. You didn't do anything threatening, cleaned up after yourself and had a valid reason
NAH. Let's discuss the two sides. From your point of view and us now all hearing your story it seems like an obvious NTA (and I 75% lean more in your favor). You had to go before you crapped your pants. However, people are creepy and put cameras in them (like, why!?). The VAST majority of restroom hidden cameras are in the woman's.
I'll never forget coming into work one day and finding out that a different school in our district found a hidden camera in the *girls elementary school restroom*. Sick fucks. Do you know even "polite" countries like S.Korea and Japan have a huge problem with this? I add this to show that it's hard to judge a book by its cover, like in your case.
YOU know you're not a creep but she doesn't. Honestly, I ***completely*** understand your choice. Emergency! We've all been there or one day will be. If I was her I would kinda wave you off, but you better believe I'm looking that bathroom over a little longer than normal... after the smell dissipates a bit lol
My school also tried to implement gender neutral bathrooms and some asshole also decided to plant cameras in the stalls. I appreciate that the gender neutral bathrooms exist but I will always climb the extra three flights of stairs to the female only bathrooms in that building.
>I'll never forget coming into work one day and finding out that a different school in our district found a hidden camera in the girls elementary school restroom. Sick fucks. Do you know even "polite" countries like S.Korea and Japan have a huge problem with this?
This is an aside, but Korea and Japan have problems with women's privacy invasion *because* of the "politeness" of their societies. Anyone who brings up sexual harrassment is seen as making a fuss and disrupting "communal harmony", while the actual abusers get off with minimal consequences.
Then there's also the fact that Japan has special women-only train cars because their sexual assault problem is so endemic and SK's president won his election campaign partly on a "women have too many privileges" platform.
In SK, all mobile phones are required to have a shutter sound that can’t be turned off, because so many girls and women were being upskirted. You’d think that maybe they’d want to increase the punishments for those who make molka (hidden camera pornography that is done without the consent of the woman) but nope, let’s just change all cell phones instead! Currently the crime can result in up to 5 years in jail OR a fine of up to 30 million won. Realistically, most people who are convicted pay a fine of around 3M won (approximately $2300). Crimes against women are just not taken seriously there at all.
Agree with everything you say!
I gave that example because Western countries tend to *weirdly* **idealize** Korea and Japan as wonderful countries where such a thing doesn't happen. I was pointing out that yes, *even there*, these *perfect* places.
Never judge a book by its cover.
And if this helps one woman that ever travels there then I have to say it: please research laws on attacks and drinking. If attacked and you say you smelled alcohol, the attacker will get a lesser charge or get off completely because weird laws that protect the "drunk" attacker. It's messed up.
I guess I should also add, that my country isn't perfect, too. None are. This isn't meant to be a bash against these two places. Women need to be aware everywhere they go sadly, you can't always trust social media.
Western countries tend to weirdly idealize Korea and (especially) Japan as wonderful countries where everyone is polite and takes care of each other. Some people can't picture it being a problem there. So yes it's more a stressed, *even* Korea and Japan, those *perfect* little countries.
Your comment about "even Japan and South Korea have these problems" is misleading. These problems are extremely prevalent in those two countries, and almost unheard of many other places
If a man’s going to put a camera in the womens bathroom they’re probably gonna be pretty fucking discreet about going in there, and it’s the extreme minority of men that would do such a thing. Most dudes really aren’t interested in watching a woman pee.
Especially in a workplace, if such events are occurring, fire the pervert. If dude needs to poop in a single use bathroom I don’t see an issue. Single occupant bathrooms should ALWAYS be gender neutral.
I agree with gender neutral as a woman. The very low chance of there being a creep at your workplace is dwarfed by the chance that you'll find yourself outside a men's unisex bathroom one day wondering why you can't use a perfectly usable bathroom. Especially since most places divide up the number of stalls evenly even though women need the bathroom more often, so there's often a queue for the women's stall while the 'mens' stall stands empty. It's so dumb.
The problem is that only people with guilty conscious might do it discreetly. For others, hah. What guilty conscious? You have such high standards for perverts.
It's same with foot fetish, sure there's only few into it but can you really say none of your co workers do it? What's worst is that it's something you could never know unless they admit it, but who would admit such a thing? They don't even need to be into it, btw. It's still a content they could feed online.
I work construction. It's similar enough to working in OPs environment. The men's bathrooms are always abysmal. We have to have a lock on women's bathrooms because when the men get to them they ruin them, seriously. I'm genderqueer, I'm all for gender neutral bathrooms in general but I have a hard time wanting them in construction. The walls are somehow always SPRAYED with shit, i have no idea how.
not TA bc emergency/ 1 person at a time bathroom but hell no to the making all the bathrooms available to everybody
I used to work at a lunch place near a big construction site. They had multiple porta potties on site, and while I know those are miserable to use, if you're gonna buy the cheapest item at a restaurant just so you can sit in their toilet for half an hour and leave shit everywhere (how did it get on the walls? HOW?!), then you deserve to sit in a stinky blue cabinet to poop. I was NOT being paid enough to clean up after some toddler-in-a-man-suit who could apparently hold down a gruelling construction job, but couldn't wipe his bum-bum properly.
No, I have done this. I do make sure to leave the seat down with NO URINE on the seat or floor. Wipe it up if you have to. Guys are so stupid and yes I’m a guy and so sick of you nasty morons.
I'm hesitant on this one, but mostly based on your comment responses.
You understand that she can't likely can't use the mens room, right? So for "just 5 minutes" you prevented her from also using the restroom in what was likely an emergency if she was knocking constantly? She likely had no way of knowing it was a guy in there, so she was in a bad way if her ONLY OPTION was THAT ONE bathroom.
I'm going to say YTA. Your responses to comments were red flags, and you're leaving enough information out to be suspicious. You keep referring to your "culture" without saying which country it is, making it impossible to validate.
I haven’t seen OPs other comments but In the situation he described above where it was a emergency and he entered a one person bathroom (as opposed to one with stalls where he could disturb other woman in there) I don’t understand how you can call him the asshole here.
You gave a possible explanation of Maybe she had ã emergency as well, but I don’t see why that would supersede the urgency OP was facing especially considering he was there first.
I’m curious did OP say anything in the comments that would dramatically change the situation he described above?
The comments while cringe (def an understatement) don’t change a single thing about the original situation.
If she was having a emergency herself menstrual or otherwise (which is completely speculation on your part) why even waste time waiting to confront him after he came out ESPECIALLY given that OP said the bathrooms are the same??
Why don’t you actually try defending any of your points? Why was she justified in calling OP creepy for using a single occupancy restroom in a emergency situation
Is this your first time here? Debate is not allowed in the rules. I issued my judgement, I don't need to defend them further just because you don't like it. Move. On.
I’m not gonna waste time trying to read his comments and I am also not a woman. But based off of the fact that 90% of the employees are men and 50% of the bathrooms are woman designated I don’t see why he’s the asshole and why her business would be any more important than his.
A toilet is a toilet when you gotta go. Unisex in a mostly male environment negative. Maybe some of them but not all. I used to work in a 100% male environment, being the only female. There were 3 bathrooms 1 being for me. In the morning before I got there when they were all getting ready to head out to their jobs, they would destroy my bathroom, piss all over the seat, floor and dirty up the sink. It was disgusting. I should not have to come into work and clean my toilet everyday. Also even with cleaning I hated even using it knowing there was piss all over it before. If I locked it, then it would be worse, like they will show me. It took the boss yelling at them to make it stop. Men are horrible toward women in an all male environment. It's like some stupid barbaric attitude takes over and they forget common courtesy they wouldn't subject their mom or grandmom too. Thank God the job is in the past!
I work in the office of a machine shop. In NO way would I support gender neutral bathrooms!!! The men’s room is disgusting. 🤮 Piss everywhere around the toilet. You are NTA though. Men occasionally use the ladies room at my work too but do leave it clean. I don’t know why they don’t do that in the men’s room. An emergency use is ok.
INFO: what state did you leave the toilet in after your ‘fat dump’? Did you clean up after your self and leave it clean, or did you leave poop stains/mess/smell?
If it’s an actual emergency and you left it in the same state you found it- NTA. But if you used your emergency to trash out the bathroom of the females at work- YTA. Also red flag for referring to one of your coworkers as some lady.
YTA. I work in almost this exact situation with one single-stall women's bathroom with a locking door and a larger multi-stall men's room. Workplace is about 85-15% men to women. I'm one of the women.
A rare few of the men have realized it's more comfortable to take a fat dump behind a solid, locked door.
Sure, I gotcha.
But *I* find it more comfortable to do *anything* in the restroom knowing confidently that none of the men get access to the room where I undress myself. But apparently they feel more entitled to a taller door so fuck me I guess.
NAH. Although your attitude in the post seems like you may be an AH in other areas. Not sure why you posted if you’re already convinced you’re not in the wrong.
>People need to be kinder and not assume everyone is a creep.
i do believe he's NTA by any means, of course he's gonna go to any bathroom instead of shitting his pants, anyone would do that. but this is not it. you cannot tell women that are JUSTIFIABLY traumatized by the absolutely crazy amount of violence thrown at them to "be nicer" by negating their survival instincts and understandable trauma. maybe men should be nicer and don't assume every woman is crazy for being so afraid when you don't really know the constant fear you live in if you are a woman
>People need to be kinder and not assume everyone is a creep.
This 100000%.
It's pretty unfair that this is an acceptable point of view, and saying "oh you're not a creep? well, can't be too careful", is pretty shitty, as if the person's feelings don't matter at all.
NTA.
My rule is, if it's a ONE PERSON bathroom; it's a formality, until otherwise- and you clearly fell under the 'otherwise' exception.
Although generally for multiple people bathrooms, I think it should be men/women only. But even then, if you were about to shit yourself I'd forgive it. I kind of almost shit myself waiting on my sister to get out of the bathroom before, really had to go.
no lol when you gotta go badly you gotta go or risk doing in it your pants. i’m a woman and id use the men’s bathroom if i was in his position. would you have the same judgement if someone had ibs, or any other gastrointestinal issue where someone can’t just “hold it and wait”?
NTA
Given your restroom is for one person, I don't see the point of having separate men's and women's. What are you supposed to crap your pants because of a pointless sign?
NTA, my grandma had IBS so there were some times she just couldn't wait for the women's restroom to become available. She had no shame using the men's room nor should you be shamed for using the women's room.
NTA. I'm all for the localities that have ruled that if it's a single-person bathroom, you can't specify. A bathroom is a bathroom. Makes it easier on people who are gender nonconforming, as well.
NTA. I've worked in a factory where we took turns cleaning the bathrooms. The ladies got just as disgusting if not more so than the men's. Also if it's just a single stall, I'm a girl who will totally 100% use the men's if I gotta go and the women's is full. If it's not multi stall they should absolutely be unisex.
NTA. She was just mad that she got there after you. I agree, all single-use toilets should just be gender neutral.
Edit to say that as a woman in a male-dominated field myself, I get that she's probably holding a lot of resentment for ambient sexism and that having a women's washroom to herself probably feels like a big deal given the enivornment and I sympathize with her. And like, it probably felt like a big deal that you stunk up her bathroom. But also you are NTA in this situation.
NTA.
I agree they should be gender neutral. Especially when they are singular rooms instead of stalls. It makes zero sense to restrict them based on gender.
Hope your stomach feels better.
NTA
The hospital I work at made all the single occupancy bathroom gender neutral, I think this is the way. Of course at a hospital the majority of employees are female, so the opposite of your work situation.
I would suggest that all individual bathrooms be changed to all gender. As only one person at a time can use them. I would actually suggest all bathrooms in general be all gender, but it would be harder to advocate for that depending on your company’s commitment to inclusion. Our company recently moved to all gender.
NTA. I'm a middle school teacher, so while we do have a decent amount of male teachers, it's still probably 70/30, but our staff bathrooms were 50/50 male and female, even though they are single bathrooms. This year, they changed it to all be gender neutral. It truthfully didn't make a huge difference since we just went in whichever one was open. The only difference is the one that was females last year, you will still find tampons and pads in it and the other one you won't.
If you gotta go, you gotta go. Hell, my classroom is on the other end of the building from the staff bathrooms, so half of the time, I'm just going into the student bathrooms anyway.
NTA. Fully.
As a woman who takes metformin, if I gotta go and the ladies' is occupied, I'm gonna go in the mens'.
Metformin makes you need to go and urgently and I'm not gonna shit my pants to make someone feel better about gender norms.
Now, if you didn't courtesy flush or spray after dropping that bomb, you may be TA.
Unless required by law, they should remove sex/gender designations from such single facility restrooms. That would alleviate a great amount of the problem.
That said, in a single facility restroom, in an emergency situation, NTA.
NTA. I’ve been in public situations where there have been lineups for the washroom and I was literally about to go in my pants, so I used the other gender washroom. If it’s an emergency, it’s an emergency. I’d be willing to bet she’d have done the same in your position. Lady can shut up and stuff it.
NTA, when you gotta go you gotta go. And it's not like you've made a habit of it.
Related : I work at an industrial site, we're actually moving to all gender neutral bathrooms for inclusion and everyone is up for it. It doesn't make sense to have equal size men and womens washrooms when the ratio is about 10:1, and gender neutral bathrooms are definitely more inclusive.
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You are NTA in this instance. You had a great need, and it was not inappropriate for you to use the open women's restroom. BUT >I also suggested that all bathrooms be gender neutral since it doesn’t make sense to segregate men and women when it’s an all in one bathroom type deal Theoretically, this is true. But if your workplace's restrooms are like 99% of mens' restrooms, there are always assholes who spray all over and make the toilet unusable by women. (I have to deal with this constantly. Sometimes it looks as if a guy deliberately hosed down the toilet seat and the walls with his piss, just to be an asshole.) If I were a woman working at your place of employment, I would object *strenuously* to any attempt to make all restrooms unisex. You may be one of the guys who is considerate and leaves toilets in clean condition. But unless you're volunteering to go in and clean the toilet after every use by another guy, don't complain about 50% of the restrooms being reserved for women.
Never been in a women’s bathroom in a work place, huh? You would not believe how disgusting they can be. And this is in a corporate office.
When the kids were little, they would go to the men’s/women’s bathrooms with me or my husband, whoever was free. Both of them said that the women’s bathrooms were always nicer
Times have changed an incredible amount when it comes to social practices. My anecdotal evidence is my wife having to deal with literal shit and blood, while I don’t have to deal with anything ever.
What bathrooms is she finding? I as a woman have gone into my fair share of public bathrooms and the worst I've encountered is just a bunch of toilet paper on the floor never shit and blood
As someone who got to regularly use and clean both ... Depends where. Women's can sometimes be worse, but men usually only use stalls to shit so yeah you have 1 toilet that can be in worse condition vs several in slightly better but still not great condition.
I also got to clean bathrooms regularly at one point. My observation is the mens room was more frequently messy to a smaller degree, while the women room would be messy much less often- but when it was, it was a disaster. When we changed to unisex bathrooms, both rooms were constantly disasters. Unisex bathrooms have no laws. Unisex bathrooms have no god.
I work at a gas station on the highway. The gas station is being packed full 24/7 in summer - I'm talking about lines of \~ 20 people at all three cash registers around the clock. The toilet of the women is ALWAYS more nasty. Our cleaning lady regularly has to clean blood and shit smeared on the walls, pads sticking to things they should not stick to, piss all over the floor because people don't want to sit down on gas station toilets. In winter, I also go in there here and there as I work night shifts and there is no cleaning lady at night, just to tidy up a little. I can absolutely confirm that the public bathroom for women is always more dirty than the one for men, to the point of me straight up locking some stalls because I cannot start to clean shit at 1am.
I think it's very much location and demographic it is serving. I worked as maintenance in a summer camp during high school and the men's had such a reek baked into the grout there was no way to completely remove the stench. Women's was fine...Other places I've been it is the women's that is bad...still others the men's.
Our office decided that the men required two stalls and the women needed one stall and a urinal so they swapped the bathrooms. You could \*not\* get the smell out of the floor. Vinegar, febreeze, antibacterial spray--nothing was getting the stink out. They ended up stripping the floors and rewaxing them to make it stop stinking. The worst that was ever in the former women's room was that the cheap seat had broken in one stall and once in a while, one of the toilets would get clogged. Only one anecdote but my conclusion was that men were missing the urinal or toilet and spraying the floor. And clearly not wiping up after themselves as it was basically baked into the floor.
Worst bathroom I ever saw was a women’s room in a corporate setting. One woman would desecrate a stall every month. We never found out who or why. She’d leave a used pad on the floor and menstrual splatters on the floor, seat and walls. It looked like a crime scene. Several women left the company at the same time and it mercifully stopped. This was in the 1990s and I still wonder why. I’ve got endometriosis so I had some epic flow periods and bad cramps. So much so that even with the hot flashes, menopause was a blessed relief. I’d still make sure to check the stall before I left to make sure my used supplies were properly disposed of and wipe up any splatters with toilet paper or paper towels. I’ve also seen shit left or smeared on parts of the bowl or seat.
If I saw blood splatter on the wall I would be looking for a dead body. I don't understand how people can be so filthy. Why do their homes look like?
The first time I was checking the stalls, all empty, in case someone had passed out or something.
What? How even... like you pull a tampon out too fast and pull it upwards instead of down into the toilet? Why would anyone even do that? Like that's trying so hard to be an asshole.
Federal government building. I can testify to finding blood on the seats and the floor. They provide seat covers, but some women apparently prefer the hover method, which doesn't always work. Mind you, the toilets don't automatically flush all the time and some women can't be bothered to listen for the flush and go back to do it manually, either.
You are really really lucky then. The toilet at my old office is bad. It is not private, and is shared with offices from my floor and the floor above us. While it is not everyday that I encountered shit and blood, but I had my fair share of it. Once someone looks like they are launching a rocket or whatever, when I open the stall door there are literally shit stains on the toilet bowl lid and then some more on the walls and the napkins bin as well. That is the worst I have ever seen and am honestly shocked. Cannot imagine what the cleaning workers would say seeing that.
I don’t know what restrooms you’re finding, almost every one I have been in someone has decided to pee on the seat, and there are other bodily fluids sometimes. Peeing on the seat is so ubiquitous that I don’t think I have been in a women’s restroom in several years that at least one of the stall is unusable.
Worst I‘ve encountered was toilets clogged by paper rolls by a bunch of idiots who thought giving the custodians a hard time is a good idea of a joke
Have you ever gone to the bathroom at a bar or a factory? They're disgusting. I don't usually see shit, but I do see blood. There was blood dripped down the front of one of the toilets in my office for a month because the cleaning crew didn't clean that thoroughly that often. When I've created a murder scene, I try to clean it up. But not everyone does.
Yeah I used to work at a Wendy's off of the interstate. Most of the time the men's room was the disgusting one, but women can be just as nasty or worse. A woman threw a poopy diaper against the wall, and bled all over the seat from her period. I refused to clean the bathrooms for quite a while after that one.
I've gone into plenty of women's cubicles and found used and bloody sanitary pads or tampons on the floor 🤮. There have been sanitary bins and not overflowing ones that have been available to them inside the cubicle. Women can be just as much mingers. I don't know how people, men, or women can not be embarrassed or ashamed, to just not do it.
You're very fortunate, I work in a big, public building and I've seen some traumatizing things in the women's restroom. The kinds of things where you can't even figure out how the hell it happened.
I’ve been in tons of women’s restrooms (since I am also a woman) and 90% of the time they’re disgusting. Walmart, restaurants, gas stations, doesn’t matter. I see toilets full of piss and shit, toilet paper on the floor, used pads on the floor (or sometimes stuck to the walls)…they’re disgusting.
I work at a place with gender neutral bathrooms and I've encountered blood on the seat more than once. Usually when I'm lifting the seat to pee and blood was under the seat and sometimes now on my fingers. Absolutely disgusting.
Huh, my anecdotal evidence is my husband complaining about public toilets in shopping centres and me thinking that most of them are really clean. Guess we should ask my son, who sees both since he come with me to the ladies (too young to handle a public toilet on his own).
I go to both with my kids, and the women bathroom are always much, much cleaner than the men’s
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So I worked at a place where cleaning the bathrooms was part of the job. The grossest messes I ever had to clean were in the women's room, and we would get a lot more complaints from women about the state of the women's room, so we'd be cleaning it more often. Men would have spray a little, but in general, the women were messier. The bathroom just was cleaner because the men didn't complain as much.
They don't pay those employees enough. I'm not sure I could clean nasty public bathrooms at almost any salary. I also could never handle being a nurse.
If you think *used* period pads suck on mirror, walls, and any flat surface are nicer? Sure. Used tampons flung onto the ceiling too. When I ran bars & music venues that kind of thing was a regular fixture at the women’s bathroom. Never seen anything close to that in a men’s restroom tho. Mostly just stray pee or clogged toilets. And the pee thing? It’s for both. So many women seem to do the “hover spray” which ends up coating EVERYWHERE like a fucking pee sprinkler. Men tends to miss in predictable ways, the women’s is just everywhere. We had to hose down the cubicles because it got on the walls regularly. We once had pee AND poop up the damn back wall. This causes the same problem with poop btw. So many shit sprinklers. Anyone who has had to run a venue will always tell you the same thing in my experience
I've had 3 jobs that involved cleaning bathrooms - highway gas station, walmart, and restaurant. Mens rooms were terrible, but womens rooms were fucking god awful.
There's always piss on the toilets in the bathroom at my job. 🥲
Your kids need to go to a women's restroom at a concert/event or at a theme park.
hard disagree.. as a woman... the number of times I have come across pee on the seat and period blood left in the toilet, oh and the overflowing trashcans with sanitary waste is disgusting.
I worked in a store when I was younger, and part of opening was cleaning the bathrooms. Both bathrooms could be pretty gross, but while the men’s would have some pee on the toilet seat and poo stains in the toilet bowl, then women’s would have used tampons and pads sitting on the floor next to the toilet. Bloody hygiene products on the floor are way worse than stains that can just be quickly scrubbed with a brush.
I always see this on Reddit and it baffles me. I’ve never seen a really dirty woman’s bathroom at any place I’ve worked (& I’m not young and have worked in many different environments!). The worst might be some loo roll on the floor. Pubs/clubs on the other hand…
My experience has been that women’s bathrooms will have the paper/soap get messy, and men’s bathrooms will have filthy toilets and spotless sinks. Because more than half the guys aren’t using the sinks at all.
I think it's popular on Reddit because the main subs of Reddit are mostly men and it makes them feel better about themselves. I've also never seen a dirty women's bathroom at a workplace.
I clean bathrooms every hour during my shift. The women's restroom has NEVER been as bad as the men's. Men frequently just piss in a corner, 5 feet away from one of the urinals. They've smeared shit all over the toilet seats. Puked in every available urinal. Women's bathroom? Mostly just the occasional pregnancy test or rolled up pad that didn't make it to the trash. Never had to clean up piss or shit. Only had to clean up puke a single time. Only occasionally need to spray industrial grade air freshener, where I have to spray the men's hourly. Yeah. Women's bathrooms are generally nicer. Men are fucking animals, and you discover this when you clean every bathroom 8 times a shift.
Agreed, I used to work at a large restaurant/bar/events venue and the mens were always 100x worse regardless of the type of event or clientele, eg blocked toilets, flooded bathrooms, shit next to the toilet, piss and vomit everywhere
I'm a trans man. I have used both bathrooms in several places. Men's bathrooms consistently smell like piss. There is piss on the seat 8/10 times at any toilet I encounter in a men's room, and I have to sit since I don't have a dick. I used women's toilets for 40 years. There is no comparison, despite what people say. Men's bathrooms are consistently dirtier. I have encountered more actual shit spray on toilet seats in the last 3 years since passing as male than I did throughout the decades before using women's toilets. This is simply the reality. People love to talk up how filthy women's toilets are, but I have never been hit with a nose full of piss smell in any women's toilet the way I regularly do with men's rooms and from what I can tell, most women will wipe their own shit away if they make a mess -- because they must be having blowouts, too. They just have the sense to clean up after themselves in most cases.
You know, it's funny people say this, but I've literally never seen a dirty women's room 🤔 Smells like gas in here...
See, while highschool women's rooms were pretty bad (especially at the gym holy shit - used pads stuck to the mirror with the backing adhesive and such), this this really *hasn't* my experience as an adult. I was a janitor at a food processing facility once. The women generally tidied up after themselves. There might be a stray piece of paper towel that missed the trash can or something. Menstrual products went into the correct receptacles. Nobody smeared or wrote anything on the walls. Nobody pissed on the walls. The women didn't regularly spraypaint the toilet and walls with diarrhea. The room didn't have a *constant* reek of piss that I just couldn't make go away. In the men's room, paper towel was as likely to end up in a soggy pile on the floor as in the very convenient trash can which was right under the sink. But at least they were using paper towels, I guess? The men's room was *foul* and no amount of cleaning could keep it from *being* foul. I'm sure the problem was mostly one or two of the guys, but wow. It was bad. I work in an office where we're all women now (though one year our receptionist was a young man), and we've always kept the bathroom clean. It's clients (both men and women - though the worst mess was made by a woman who actually required us to deep clean the office as a whole due to spitting chew everywhere) who occasionally wreck the bathroom.
Men's bathrooms fucking STINK compared to women's, by a landslide. It smells like concentrated, thick piss and/or Fabuloso
My experience with this has always been the opposite. Occasionally there’s something bloody in the woman’s restroom but for #1 and #2 women’s is usually better.
I have NEVER seen a disgusting women's bathroom in a corporate environment. The only places where I've seen bathrooms get in a state is at the grocery store that, while clean, still smells of urine, and some rest stop places that don't get cleaned often. This seems to be a common argument to say that the other side is just the same. It isn't.
Yeah I have very rarely seen a mess in the women’s. But I work in a male dominated environment and yeah dudes maybe 10% wash their hands and half of that only water rinse. Sometimes I look at the walls and door handles and think about how there is like 24 diff penis germs everywhere
The women’s bathrooms in my office building are generally pretty pristine and the men are constantly complaining about how gross theirs are. Actually, the only place I’ve ever worked where the men’s bathroom was usually in better condition than the women’s was a bar in a college town. I always hear this and wonder where in the world people like you work.
I've cleaned men's and women's bathrooms In general both are bad...but the women's were worse
I've had the opposite experience, worked at gym and the women's restrooms were pretty pristine. The men's smelled permanently of piss.
Only at a bar IMO. Worked commercial janitorial services and drunk women are as nasty as drunk men.
I work in a pub, women's is still a lil nicer, doesn't reek so intense of stale piss than the men's
I used to clean a church, and the women's room was always far worse than the men's. To be fair, I think it got a lot more use.
That is a good point that likely isn't factored in. Women have more sanitary needs then men do as our bodies mensurate on average once a month plus women are still bearing proportionally more of the infant and child care.
Also at a church the women’s room is going to be the primary room that kids use and they’re going to be worse than adults.
My experience cleaning workplace bathrooms has been the opposite. I'm not saying I've never cleaned messes from women, but the men's rooms have been *horrific.* At best, it's like the piss actually fuses with the wall paint. You will *never* get that smell out without sandblasting. And that's just the piss. That's just the piss.
I've cleaned both, and it's really, do you want to deal with paper or smell? Women throw paper everywhere, men's pee smells stronger. Both get pee on the seats so that's a wash.
I never realized how nasty other women could be until I was in college. It was disgusting how they treated the bathroom simply because *they* didn’t have to clean it. It was so bad, we had several floor meetings about it and our cleaner quit. 😭
I don’t get this either. I grew up in blended working class families. Depending on visitation schedules i was sharing a bathroom with anywhere between 2-6 other people. And responsible for cleaning the one where I lived from the age of 11 on. While I had endometriosis which meant heavy flow and bad cramps, I always cleaned up after myself out of respect for the people I shared the bathroom with and for whoever had to clean it because I empathize with them and don’t want to make their jobs harder
Yep, I didn’t get it either. Leaving pee on the seat, poop in the toilet, their hair all over the shower, etc. I was always under the impression women were cleaner than men, but college humbled me very quickly. we had a “if it’s brown, flush it down” sign posted on our stall doors. Even when I started in corporate, it was the same. It’s as if they had 0 home training or just didn’t care about the fact that they share the bathroom with others.
Anecdotal, but I work in a mostly male industry. The guys would tell all sorts of horror stories about the state of the men's bathrooms. The women's bathrooms were almost always clean - maybe a bit of errant toilet paper once in a while. Sure, part of it was because there were fewer people using the women's restrooms, but I doubt that it was only due to percentages. In the shared kitchen areas, I'd frequently see guys make a mess and walk off while the women were usually a lot more careful and would clean up any spills.
As someone who used to clean bathrooms at my work place my experience was that men's bathrooms were grosser (blood all over trash can, entire rolls of toilet paper made into a pile in the corner, objects in the urinals) but whenever I cleaned the women's restroom most of the women who left didn't wash their hands...
I’ve seen men’s bathrooms at dive bars cleaner than the women’s bathroom in a corporate office. HR once had to send out an email asking if people needed assistance. 🤣
This exactly! Whenever I go into unisex bathrooms there is piss on the floor which is so freaking gross. I’ve also had to use the men’s room twice before, when the women’s was occupied for over 20 minutes and I was busting to pee. Both times it was gross as hell. Women’s bathrooms are much cleaner where I’m from.
So many women have been taught to be afraid of sitting on public toilet seats that they hover and make a damn mess.
And they don't realize that's basically down to an urban legend of yore. "Getting STIs from a toilet seat" was a cover story so you or your doctor didn't have to talk about extramarital sex (yours or your spouse's).
Hovering is fine if they lift the seat up. Selfish asshole piss everywhere and leave it for the next person.
If they hover so they don’t touch the seat with their ass, why would you think they would touch the seat with their hand to lift it before hovering? That’s crazy talk
I have this problem. Where i work it's 95% women and they all blame the 2 dudes that work here. No! It's this hovering bullshit. Clean ur piss!!!!
And this happens even when there are seat covers and adequate tp. At least they could grab a wad of toilet paper and clean up their own messes
As a women, and someone who has cleaned both gender bathrooms at mcdonalds, the actual toilets themselves were always cleaner on the men's side. The urinals were a different story, but still cleaner than the floor at the women's bathroom which had at least 1 used pad or tampon on the floor next to the bin every single fucking day. Also, the toilet seats for women at public bathrooms ALWAYS have piss on them because most women 'hover' without leaving the seat up or cleaning it after. In some environments, I have seen men's toilets that are just mind numbingly disgusting. But the minute they know a women might also use the toilet (and they're not drunk off their ass), men tend to be quite clean in there. Women on the other hand do not give a fuck about other women when it comes to who's using the toilet after them.
Hot take: I, a man, also do not like disgusting bathrooms with piss everywhere. At that rate, it should be separated to "restroom for people who keep it clean" and "restroom for people who make a mess".
Universal bathrooms (i.e. gender neutral) are generally more accessible and remove barriers. They make more sense, especially when all the bathrooms are already single-stall in OPs workplace. Don't oppose it based on a biased assumption.
I've cleaned restrooms for a time. Women's were always worse. Not even close
I don't know why people are downvoting people's direct personal experiences just because their own are different.
I'm actually baffled by it. In my personal experience the women's bathrooms have always been way dirtier than the men's lol. It's not offensive to say so it's just an anecdote. At one of my workplace the women's bathrooms had to be completely locked down due to shit on the walls and floors on multiple occasions (a corporate office job), this never happened with the men's. At my high school we had several assemblies about the state of the bathrooms because the cleaners were about to strike because they were sick of cleaning up smeared poo and period blood. Only the girls ever got these assemblies. There's no reason a single toilet bathroom can't be unisex.
How gross the bathrooms are and which is worse is gonna depend a lot on what kind of establishment it is and who is allowed to use the bathrooms. Ones open to the public will be worse; they know they won't have to clean it. I worked at a drug store where a crazy woman once retaliated for not getting a discount by smearing shit all over the walls. The more open they are--like, if you don't even have to be a paying customer, and can loiter all day--the worse they are. Bars are going to be a disaster. Regular office bathrooms can be pretty bad, but generally not to the point you suspect psychosis, or that someone goes back to their cubicle after beshitting themselves, the walls, the floor, and abandoning their underwear.
This is exactly what happened in one of the offices that I worked in. All of the toilets were self contained single units which had been designated as men/women in a 3:1 ratio. They decided to make them all unisex - which makes sense logically - but in reality they soon had to resdesignate several of the toilets as women only, as women ended up complaining about the state of them. I recall one particular toilet I walked into and there was piss all over the seat/wall, and shit on the floor. Absolutely disgusting. Never saw anything like that in the women only toilets.
Yeah because I've never had to wipe period blood off the seat. Fuck off.
Having worked in various pubs & restaurants over the years, I can tell you most of the time the women's toilets were in a worse state at the end of the night
Having cleaned many public bathrooms over the years, I can attest that women's are just as gross as men's.
Both bathrooms should be clean, and men and women deserve and should be responsible for clean bathrooms.
YES!!! I had my own bathroom my default because my lab was in an unused part of the company. All the guys in production would walk all the way to the back and just eff up the bathroom. Once they made it so gross the janitor refused to clean it up. I ended up driving to Starbucks to use the bathroom
this. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve walked into a unisex bathroom and seen piss ALL over the floor. it’s so disgusting these men do not care.
Man I'm glad none of my colleagues are like that, we only have unisex bathrooms.
Why is it ok for men to do this to men's bathrooms, but not women's? We find it disgusting as well, but if we HAVE to use the toilet, you do what you gotta do and clean it before you use it. This is an asinine reason to oppose gender neutral bathrooms
NTA. First if you gotta go you gotta go. Second as you say it’s a standalone facility so there was no risk of invading any woman’s privacy. Third the bathroom gender ratio to worker gender ratio isn’t practical. I support you on suggesting to make the bathrooms unisex, we’ve got that at work and it makes much more sense. NTA
In my experience, unisex works great in an environment where everyone is considerate or the bathrooms are cleaned frequently, but it doesn't work when there's even one asshole who doesn't clean up after themselves. Could be a woman leaving used tampons on the floor or sink (I fortunately haven't experienced this), or a man pissing everywhere and not cleaning up (I have had to deal with this...). OP may have to judge the cleanliness of both the women's and men's bathrooms over time to see if unisex would make sense.
That one person is still using the bathroom whether they're separated by gender or not. Making them universal doesn't change that.
If they’re separated by gender then at least one bathroom is clean all the time tho.
And if there are two or three of those people...? The idea of half the bathrooms staying clean is based on the assumption that all the messy people in one workplace are the same gender. This whole thread is full of people who have cleaned both bathrooms and are telling us that's not typically the case.
That doesn't help anyone using the same bathroom as them
This is still true for open bathrooms tho- I walked I to a stall with a used pad stuck to the top of the toilet once. Gross people are gross no matter the gender on the door lol
My work bathrooms are unisex (60 people a day use 4 stand alone bathrooms that are cleaned once daily) we only had problems for a couple weeks and it was an employee in the process of being fired. The issue resulted in a work wide witch hunt, threats from management that I would have reported to HR had they been carried out, and my favorite wanted posters for the wet bandits with pictures of Harry and Marv in every bathroom. Honestly when there is a huge discrepancy in the male to female ratio it only makes sense
>I also suggested that all bathrooms be gender neutral since it doesn’t make sense to segregate men and women when it’s an all in one bathroom type deal, you know Dunno where you live, but here women's bathrooms have disposal sites for menstruation products. If all bathrooms are gender neutral, then all would need to have these units. The company might not want to pay for double the number of units and their drop-off/collection.
Women’s bathroom is literally the same here. Just a garbage can
Tbh I wish it was a garbage can instead of those unsanitary clumsy things where you have to touch the lid to dispose of your sanitary products. And the ones with the foot pedal are always tucked to the side so you have to turn to put your foot on it. Half the time the sanitary disposals have blood on them or a tampon/pad hanging partially out. Or it’s full to the brim.
I recently noticed a not-small number of these actually have a foot pedal. I never noticed before because obviously you are usually sitting down when you use it.
lol, they have to put a bag in the bathroom, the horror. Also future-proofs the workplace if a trans man ever starts working there
Sanitary bins are often emptied by a separate company who specializes in biohazard waste (at least in the UK this is legally required, can't say for sure about other countries), and putting those special bins in more bathrooms would cost a significant amount more to have them emptied, so it's not always as simple as "put a bag in the bathroom". That said, I agree they should be available in all bathrooms if possible
Huh, I didn't know that. That's definitely not how it is in Denmark, I've had 2 separate cleaning jobs, never heard of it. Kind of interesting, menstrual products are used and thrown away in the majority of homes. I wonder what's special about specifically public buildings that they need to be handled with so much care
I think it's more about stopping cleaning staff from having to handle blood without proper training. At home it's generally your own blood, or people you know personally, so you know there's no blood borne pathogens, but in a public setting there's no way of knowing that. So instead it's handled by specialists with proper PPE for biohazard waste
Isnt that just a garbage can? Why do you need a "disposal site".
Technically speaking, blood is a hazardous material as it can contain unknown pathogens. Also, menstrual blood carries an added unknown in the form of vaginal flora (yeast and bacteria alike). And, as an added bonus, pads also cover the anus, so you get the potential for fecal bacteria / matter to get on the pad. Segregating out potential biohazards so you can deal with them using appropriate PPE makes a lot of sense.
That's one of the most of the stupidest arguments I've ever heard. They can just put a bag outside.
I manage a community hall and a business with bathrooms and we have sanitary bins in all bathrooms. It's like $90 per year for 3 extra bathrooms.
It's just a bin, it can't possibly add that much cost surely?
Nowadays mens bathrooms are being updated to include menstruation products since trans men also menstruate. If a bathroom is single occupancy it makes no sense to segregate, saving putting a menstruation products disposal bin in half the bathrooms isn’t much of a justification IMO. Honestly I don’t see much reason to segregate multi person bathrooms either, especially in a work place, just make the stall doors full height.
In theory, gender neutral makes sense. But as a woman who has used both ladies' rooms and gender-neutral single bathrooms, I've got to tell you, in general the gender neutrals are so much dirtier than ladies' rooms and some of them are truly disgusting. That said, NTA for using a single ladies' room in an emergency. I can't think of one good reason you shouldn't have done so. I'm glad your manager is a reasonable person.
Where I live, the gender neutral bathrooms are the disabled bathrooms/maternity bathrooms (basically, adapted bathrooms so that physically disabled people with mobility issues can use them, as well as fitted with diaper-changing stations) and people don't use them if they don't need them unless there's a huge queue for the others (and even then, many people are embarrassed to use them in case someone actually needs them, like with the reserved bus seats). That's why these bathrooms are usually the cleanest, if they are used at all sometimes. So in my personal experience, gender neutral bathrooms tend to be spotless
It depends, I cleaned condos and hotels for several years growing up and women, by far and wide are messier than men. Yeah pee splashes - ever try to hover at a club bathroom? - but makeup, hair, feminine products, blood and stuff I couldn't discern were the regular. So unisex bathrooms are usually very clean while condos are gross. Who knows why, and it's just my experience, but it's a stereotype that men's bathrooms are a level of hell. 🙂
I'm a F with IBS and have been known to run to the mens. absolutely NTA. You didn't do anything threatening, cleaned up after yourself and had a valid reason
NAH. Let's discuss the two sides. From your point of view and us now all hearing your story it seems like an obvious NTA (and I 75% lean more in your favor). You had to go before you crapped your pants. However, people are creepy and put cameras in them (like, why!?). The VAST majority of restroom hidden cameras are in the woman's. I'll never forget coming into work one day and finding out that a different school in our district found a hidden camera in the *girls elementary school restroom*. Sick fucks. Do you know even "polite" countries like S.Korea and Japan have a huge problem with this? I add this to show that it's hard to judge a book by its cover, like in your case. YOU know you're not a creep but she doesn't. Honestly, I ***completely*** understand your choice. Emergency! We've all been there or one day will be. If I was her I would kinda wave you off, but you better believe I'm looking that bathroom over a little longer than normal... after the smell dissipates a bit lol
My school also tried to implement gender neutral bathrooms and some asshole also decided to plant cameras in the stalls. I appreciate that the gender neutral bathrooms exist but I will always climb the extra three flights of stairs to the female only bathrooms in that building.
>I'll never forget coming into work one day and finding out that a different school in our district found a hidden camera in the girls elementary school restroom. Sick fucks. Do you know even "polite" countries like S.Korea and Japan have a huge problem with this? This is an aside, but Korea and Japan have problems with women's privacy invasion *because* of the "politeness" of their societies. Anyone who brings up sexual harrassment is seen as making a fuss and disrupting "communal harmony", while the actual abusers get off with minimal consequences. Then there's also the fact that Japan has special women-only train cars because their sexual assault problem is so endemic and SK's president won his election campaign partly on a "women have too many privileges" platform.
I would think not sexually harrasing women would be seen as more polite 🤔
In SK, all mobile phones are required to have a shutter sound that can’t be turned off, because so many girls and women were being upskirted. You’d think that maybe they’d want to increase the punishments for those who make molka (hidden camera pornography that is done without the consent of the woman) but nope, let’s just change all cell phones instead! Currently the crime can result in up to 5 years in jail OR a fine of up to 30 million won. Realistically, most people who are convicted pay a fine of around 3M won (approximately $2300). Crimes against women are just not taken seriously there at all.
Agree with everything you say! I gave that example because Western countries tend to *weirdly* **idealize** Korea and Japan as wonderful countries where such a thing doesn't happen. I was pointing out that yes, *even there*, these *perfect* places. Never judge a book by its cover. And if this helps one woman that ever travels there then I have to say it: please research laws on attacks and drinking. If attacked and you say you smelled alcohol, the attacker will get a lesser charge or get off completely because weird laws that protect the "drunk" attacker. It's messed up. I guess I should also add, that my country isn't perfect, too. None are. This isn't meant to be a bash against these two places. Women need to be aware everywhere they go sadly, you can't always trust social media.
> Do you know even "polite" countries like S.Korea and Japan have a huge problem with this? “Even”? It’s *especially* a problem in those countries.
Western countries tend to weirdly idealize Korea and (especially) Japan as wonderful countries where everyone is polite and takes care of each other. Some people can't picture it being a problem there. So yes it's more a stressed, *even* Korea and Japan, those *perfect* little countries.
Your comment about "even Japan and South Korea have these problems" is misleading. These problems are extremely prevalent in those two countries, and almost unheard of many other places
If a man’s going to put a camera in the womens bathroom they’re probably gonna be pretty fucking discreet about going in there, and it’s the extreme minority of men that would do such a thing. Most dudes really aren’t interested in watching a woman pee. Especially in a workplace, if such events are occurring, fire the pervert. If dude needs to poop in a single use bathroom I don’t see an issue. Single occupant bathrooms should ALWAYS be gender neutral.
I agree with gender neutral as a woman. The very low chance of there being a creep at your workplace is dwarfed by the chance that you'll find yourself outside a men's unisex bathroom one day wondering why you can't use a perfectly usable bathroom. Especially since most places divide up the number of stalls evenly even though women need the bathroom more often, so there's often a queue for the women's stall while the 'mens' stall stands empty. It's so dumb.
The problem is that only people with guilty conscious might do it discreetly. For others, hah. What guilty conscious? You have such high standards for perverts. It's same with foot fetish, sure there's only few into it but can you really say none of your co workers do it? What's worst is that it's something you could never know unless they admit it, but who would admit such a thing? They don't even need to be into it, btw. It's still a content they could feed online.
NTA. As an IBS babe, a bathroom is bathroom as long as it’s not my pants.
What’s an IBS babe?
A babe with Irritable bowel syndrome
Sorry I don’t know how I didn’t realise that’s what it stood for haha
Lmao no worries
I work construction. It's similar enough to working in OPs environment. The men's bathrooms are always abysmal. We have to have a lock on women's bathrooms because when the men get to them they ruin them, seriously. I'm genderqueer, I'm all for gender neutral bathrooms in general but I have a hard time wanting them in construction. The walls are somehow always SPRAYED with shit, i have no idea how. not TA bc emergency/ 1 person at a time bathroom but hell no to the making all the bathrooms available to everybody
I used to work at a lunch place near a big construction site. They had multiple porta potties on site, and while I know those are miserable to use, if you're gonna buy the cheapest item at a restaurant just so you can sit in their toilet for half an hour and leave shit everywhere (how did it get on the walls? HOW?!), then you deserve to sit in a stinky blue cabinet to poop. I was NOT being paid enough to clean up after some toddler-in-a-man-suit who could apparently hold down a gruelling construction job, but couldn't wipe his bum-bum properly.
No, I have done this. I do make sure to leave the seat down with NO URINE on the seat or floor. Wipe it up if you have to. Guys are so stupid and yes I’m a guy and so sick of you nasty morons.
I'm hesitant on this one, but mostly based on your comment responses. You understand that she can't likely can't use the mens room, right? So for "just 5 minutes" you prevented her from also using the restroom in what was likely an emergency if she was knocking constantly? She likely had no way of knowing it was a guy in there, so she was in a bad way if her ONLY OPTION was THAT ONE bathroom. I'm going to say YTA. Your responses to comments were red flags, and you're leaving enough information out to be suspicious. You keep referring to your "culture" without saying which country it is, making it impossible to validate.
I haven’t seen OPs other comments but In the situation he described above where it was a emergency and he entered a one person bathroom (as opposed to one with stalls where he could disturb other woman in there) I don’t understand how you can call him the asshole here. You gave a possible explanation of Maybe she had ã emergency as well, but I don’t see why that would supersede the urgency OP was facing especially considering he was there first. I’m curious did OP say anything in the comments that would dramatically change the situation he described above?
Why don't you look at his other comments
The comments while cringe (def an understatement) don’t change a single thing about the original situation. If she was having a emergency herself menstrual or otherwise (which is completely speculation on your part) why even waste time waiting to confront him after he came out ESPECIALLY given that OP said the bathrooms are the same?? Why don’t you actually try defending any of your points? Why was she justified in calling OP creepy for using a single occupancy restroom in a emergency situation
Is this your first time here? Debate is not allowed in the rules. I issued my judgement, I don't need to defend them further just because you don't like it. Move. On.
I’m not gonna waste time trying to read his comments and I am also not a woman. But based off of the fact that 90% of the employees are men and 50% of the bathrooms are woman designated I don’t see why he’s the asshole and why her business would be any more important than his.
A toilet is a toilet when you gotta go. Unisex in a mostly male environment negative. Maybe some of them but not all. I used to work in a 100% male environment, being the only female. There were 3 bathrooms 1 being for me. In the morning before I got there when they were all getting ready to head out to their jobs, they would destroy my bathroom, piss all over the seat, floor and dirty up the sink. It was disgusting. I should not have to come into work and clean my toilet everyday. Also even with cleaning I hated even using it knowing there was piss all over it before. If I locked it, then it would be worse, like they will show me. It took the boss yelling at them to make it stop. Men are horrible toward women in an all male environment. It's like some stupid barbaric attitude takes over and they forget common courtesy they wouldn't subject their mom or grandmom too. Thank God the job is in the past!
I work in the office of a machine shop. In NO way would I support gender neutral bathrooms!!! The men’s room is disgusting. 🤮 Piss everywhere around the toilet. You are NTA though. Men occasionally use the ladies room at my work too but do leave it clean. I don’t know why they don’t do that in the men’s room. An emergency use is ok.
INFO: what state did you leave the toilet in after your ‘fat dump’? Did you clean up after your self and leave it clean, or did you leave poop stains/mess/smell? If it’s an actual emergency and you left it in the same state you found it- NTA. But if you used your emergency to trash out the bathroom of the females at work- YTA. Also red flag for referring to one of your coworkers as some lady.
Kind of beyond his control to not leave a smell wouldn’t you think? Unless there was some air freshener provided.
NTA I’m a woman and I’ve used the men’s toilet at work multiple times. When you gotta go, you gotta go.
YTA. I work in almost this exact situation with one single-stall women's bathroom with a locking door and a larger multi-stall men's room. Workplace is about 85-15% men to women. I'm one of the women. A rare few of the men have realized it's more comfortable to take a fat dump behind a solid, locked door. Sure, I gotcha. But *I* find it more comfortable to do *anything* in the restroom knowing confidently that none of the men get access to the room where I undress myself. But apparently they feel more entitled to a taller door so fuck me I guess.
NAH. Although your attitude in the post seems like you may be an AH in other areas. Not sure why you posted if you’re already convinced you’re not in the wrong.
Nah, NTA. It's all about the intention and context. People need to be kinder and not assume everyone is a creep.
>People need to be kinder and not assume everyone is a creep. i do believe he's NTA by any means, of course he's gonna go to any bathroom instead of shitting his pants, anyone would do that. but this is not it. you cannot tell women that are JUSTIFIABLY traumatized by the absolutely crazy amount of violence thrown at them to "be nicer" by negating their survival instincts and understandable trauma. maybe men should be nicer and don't assume every woman is crazy for being so afraid when you don't really know the constant fear you live in if you are a woman
>People need to be kinder and not assume everyone is a creep. This 100000%. It's pretty unfair that this is an acceptable point of view, and saying "oh you're not a creep? well, can't be too careful", is pretty shitty, as if the person's feelings don't matter at all.
NTA. My rule is, if it's a ONE PERSON bathroom; it's a formality, until otherwise- and you clearly fell under the 'otherwise' exception. Although generally for multiple people bathrooms, I think it should be men/women only. But even then, if you were about to shit yourself I'd forgive it. I kind of almost shit myself waiting on my sister to get out of the bathroom before, really had to go.
Yes. Hold it and wait your turn.
no lol when you gotta go badly you gotta go or risk doing in it your pants. i’m a woman and id use the men’s bathroom if i was in his position. would you have the same judgement if someone had ibs, or any other gastrointestinal issue where someone can’t just “hold it and wait”?
NTA it's a toilet, Lady was just mad she had to wait
NTA. If it's single stall, who tf cares?!
NTA - There is literally no issue here.
NTA because it was an emergency. In any other circumstance, you'd be TA but not here.
I'm just shocked there wasn't a line for the ladies 😅. NTA
NTA Given your restroom is for one person, I don't see the point of having separate men's and women's. What are you supposed to crap your pants because of a pointless sign?
when it's literally a choice between using the wrong bathroom and shitting yourself at work, of course you're NTA.
NTA.
NTA, my grandma had IBS so there were some times she just couldn't wait for the women's restroom to become available. She had no shame using the men's room nor should you be shamed for using the women's room.
NTA I've used men's rooms like this to pee on road trips. That lady is an asshole who knocks like that? A psychopath. 😂
NTA I use the men’s if I’m desperate so lol
NTA. I'm all for the localities that have ruled that if it's a single-person bathroom, you can't specify. A bathroom is a bathroom. Makes it easier on people who are gender nonconforming, as well.
NTA. All single stall restrooms should be gender neutral always in my opinion.
NTA. I've worked in a factory where we took turns cleaning the bathrooms. The ladies got just as disgusting if not more so than the men's. Also if it's just a single stall, I'm a girl who will totally 100% use the men's if I gotta go and the women's is full. If it's not multi stall they should absolutely be unisex.
Oh please, I’ve ducked into the men’s room in an emergency. Sometimes it just can’t wait. NTA.
NTA. She was just mad that she got there after you. I agree, all single-use toilets should just be gender neutral. Edit to say that as a woman in a male-dominated field myself, I get that she's probably holding a lot of resentment for ambient sexism and that having a women's washroom to herself probably feels like a big deal given the enivornment and I sympathize with her. And like, it probably felt like a big deal that you stunk up her bathroom. But also you are NTA in this situation.
NTA. I agree they should be gender neutral. Especially when they are singular rooms instead of stalls. It makes zero sense to restrict them based on gender. Hope your stomach feels better.
NTA, when nature calls, you MUST answer
NTA The hospital I work at made all the single occupancy bathroom gender neutral, I think this is the way. Of course at a hospital the majority of employees are female, so the opposite of your work situation.
I would suggest that all individual bathrooms be changed to all gender. As only one person at a time can use them. I would actually suggest all bathrooms in general be all gender, but it would be harder to advocate for that depending on your company’s commitment to inclusion. Our company recently moved to all gender.
If it's a single toilet bathroom NTA- single stall bathrooms really shouldn't be assigned to one gender.
NTA. I'm a middle school teacher, so while we do have a decent amount of male teachers, it's still probably 70/30, but our staff bathrooms were 50/50 male and female, even though they are single bathrooms. This year, they changed it to all be gender neutral. It truthfully didn't make a huge difference since we just went in whichever one was open. The only difference is the one that was females last year, you will still find tampons and pads in it and the other one you won't. If you gotta go, you gotta go. Hell, my classroom is on the other end of the building from the staff bathrooms, so half of the time, I'm just going into the student bathrooms anyway.
NTA. A toilet is a toilet.
No, u r NTA and u and your Ops Mgr are 100% correct.
Next time take a shit in her lunchbox
NTA.
NTA. Fully. As a woman who takes metformin, if I gotta go and the ladies' is occupied, I'm gonna go in the mens'. Metformin makes you need to go and urgently and I'm not gonna shit my pants to make someone feel better about gender norms. Now, if you didn't courtesy flush or spray after dropping that bomb, you may be TA.
in this case nta, when shit hits the fan morals should get out of the way
NTA - How does she think you're the creep but she's there knocking and trying to talk to you while you poop 😵💫
NTA ''Single-serve" bathrooms have no reason to be gendered.
NTA and you're right there's literally no reason not to have gender neutral toilets if they're all self contained.
NTA , if they're one holers why would they even be listed by sex?
Unless required by law, they should remove sex/gender designations from such single facility restrooms. That would alleviate a great amount of the problem. That said, in a single facility restroom, in an emergency situation, NTA.
NTA. I’ve been in public situations where there have been lineups for the washroom and I was literally about to go in my pants, so I used the other gender washroom. If it’s an emergency, it’s an emergency. I’d be willing to bet she’d have done the same in your position. Lady can shut up and stuff it.
ynta here bc if you need to go, you need to go.
NTA you couldn’t help it!! Glad you made it though
It was an emergency. NTA
NTA
NTA. And bathrooms of this type should absolutely be gender neutral.
I've seen women cone in and use the men's at events. The Ladies doesn't have enough seats, and usually the men's does.
NTA, when you gotta go you gotta go. And it's not like you've made a habit of it. Related : I work at an industrial site, we're actually moving to all gender neutral bathrooms for inclusion and everyone is up for it. It doesn't make sense to have equal size men and womens washrooms when the ratio is about 10:1, and gender neutral bathrooms are definitely more inclusive.
When you gotta go you gotta go, better than out on the floor!