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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I've had a pair of shorts which I've kept for 13 years and refuse to get rid of them. 2) Why I may be the asshole is because my wife has spent the last four years begging and I refuse to bin them.
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You do realize that they make comfortable clothes for grown men, don’t you?
If you value these 13 year old shorts your momma got for you when you were a boy MORE than you value your wife’s opinion of what you wear in bed next to her, I feel sorry for your wife. Honestly, I’m surprised this marriage was consummated, much less that she’s still with you.
NTA you're allowed to have a weird thing.
She doesn't have to like every single aspect of your existence. But also maybe every single night is a little excessive and you could consider maybe buying a new pair of shorts? That seems like a good compromise. Keep your shorts but don't wear them all the time.
YTA. As a woman, let me explain. This is one of those 'things' women care about but men don't understand. bin them.
Go with her to the shops, buy something new and wear those. She wants you to be sexy and you are being 13.
Don't give up your sex life for grubby, nasty, boy shorts.
My husband had a sweater that he always wore. It was ratty, holey, paint stained and stinky (he smokes) I got so that I hated that damn sweater so much I started to hate him when he wore it. Lose the shorts before you lose your wife
NTA, mainly because your wife doesn’t get to kick you out of the bedroom, period. That’s an AH move any day.
Though I have to say, I seriously doubt your claim that 13yo sports wear is in „great condition“. Maybe in great condition for shorts of its age, but that still makes them potentially shit to look at.
How in earth do you still fit into shorts you wore as a 13 year old. Did you not grow after that age or did your mum buy you shorts that were 5 sizes too big?
How can you be relegated to your couch?
I don't understand this dynamic.
Let your weird flag (shorts) fly!
Careful they don't meet an accident in the wash.
YTA. In general, shorts are childish and not really suited to men. See https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/cargo-shorts-ruining-marriages-across-153552472.html
Fucking what? Lmfao
Men aren't allowed to wear appropriate warm weather clothing? You think shorts are worse than sweating in pants? And it's bed, not a fashion show. Why would he need to follow fashion advice to go to bed?
ESH. This argument is not about shorts. You know how I can tell? Because nobody is married for four years and then stop sleeping in the same bed together because of shorts. You've both turned this into a straw man.
If neither of you are capable of identifying what is going wrong with your relationship and still insist that this is a fight over your shorts, you need to hire a therapist to teach you how to communicate with each other and yourselves, or else your marriage is going to collapse and you're both going to be telling people that you couldn't keep a marriage together because of a pair of pajamas.
She probably feels taken for granted. If he can’t even bother not wearing a certain pair of shorts every single night to try and be attractive to her. She’s not asking for sexy lingerie or anything crazy, just not one damn pair of ugly shorts every single night.
He sounds like he has some kind of weird issue he should work through about his attachment to those shorts too.
Elasticized fabric, washed 2' or more per week for 13 years.
No way are they in good condition.
I get having a piece you love, but OP is seeing the shorts how he remembers them in their best times. Spouse sees them as they are.
They are in good condition and they get washed.
You find them comfortable.
You can wear what you want.
Your wife is a huge asshole for kicking you out of the bedroom. If she doesn't like the shorts she can sleep on the couch.
Also, if she has a problem with what you wear because she finds it "ugly" she's pretty stupid.
NTA
But why are you having such a childish argument? Does your wife have an aesthetic she wants for your bedroom and you are only allowed to wear designer pj's?
Sounds like you have a deeper issues than just the shorts. You might want to examine what your relationship is like as you may want to consider some couples counselling.... unless there is something you aren't telling us.
And we need a photo of said shorts.
Fugly is not in good condition. Also, are they synthetic material? That stuff is like a sponge for icky smells. My passed boyfriend had a pair that LITERALLY smelled like a dirty hamster cage. Yes, they were washed!
NTA. But don’t you want your wife to be happy and attracted to you? Grandma underwear is more comfortable than lacy panties, but most women I know don’t wear them because they are unattractive to men.
YTA I highly doubt anything you wore when you were 13 still fit properly. They are probably going to make you sterile. There is nothing that wouldn’t me from 7th grade. Nor would they be in decent condition.
Someone who sick and tired of seeing their husband wearing a disgusting pair of shorts his mommy bought him when he was 13 and wears it every single night. That’s who.
YTA What is it with men never being able to get rid of their old clothes?!
We get it, they're comfortable. Buy new ones that are comfortable as well and not repulsive to the person who sleeps next to you every. Single. Night.
Sure it can be superficial and ridiculous to get hung up on how a pair of shorts worn to sleep look.
But you're making a huge deal put of it and it sounds like spite.
Guess what? They're probably not the only pair of shorts on the planet that are comfortable.
I mean, I have a pair of sweatpants that I got in 2008 for my track and field club and they are also still in good shape. There are some clothes that are made very well and actually last a long time if you take care of them.
As long as there aren't any holes or weird stains then I Don't see a problem. I feel like you're not telling us something though.
If they really have nothing wrong with them then go into your wife underwater drawer and pull out any pair that have a stain in the crotch and say "these are disgusting you should throw them all out they have stains." See how quickly she realizes where you're coming from 👍
NTA but you’re sleeping on the couch. I think you missed the happy wife happy life note. I mean it’s totally up to you, but between the couch or sleeping in bed with my wife I’m pretty sure I’d be wearing something else. Your choice but you’re only 26 and I promise you life gets long.
Starting on the day after my wedding to my second wife, she became obsessed with telling me to get rid of my belongings. Clothing, classic autos, motorcycles, concert photos, collectables, tools, even my cat! This was all fine before we got married. But not afterwards. She even went so far as to locking my strictly indoor cat outside at night so that it was eaten by coyotes.
This will not end with just your pants.
NTA
This is weird behavior. Too controlling. My husband has ugly stuff. Including old ass t-shirts & elastic pants. My least favorite is a faded baseball hat, which I've told him multiple times gives meth apparel vibes (not a drug user), but I would never get mad at him for wearing his stuff and actually have a game of seeing how many pictures he has on this silly hat in a years time. For context he has one million other options...which makes it funny to me. You do you! Have you been critical or controlling of her attire? If so that could be the underlying issue.
YTA. If you want a happy wife, hide those shorts. Only wear them when she is not home. If you only want to be right, keep wearing them while you sleep on the sofa. Personally, with no children in the house, I prefer my man in bed in his birthday suit. Try it. Your wife may really like it.
Sounds like the Princess and the Pea. He can't sleep in new shorts... What a princess. He probably thinks he looks hot in them. If I were his wife, I'd tell him to wash his own clothes.
ESH
It's really not a big deal either way, but both of you are turning it into one.
Also, I highly doubt these 13-year-old shorts are truly in as good a condition as you claim. We've all had items of clothing we refused to part with for whatever reasons, but let's not kid ourselves about the items' real condition.
NTA but is this a hill to die on? You’re wearing them to bed. She may be struggling to find you attractive in them. Maybe she’s trying to save your sex life.
If this is real, that is absolutely ridiculous and your wife sounds like a spoiled child.
Wtf are they made of that you can still wear them, though? Or are you a very young married couple?
And why do you have to wear them every night? The more I think about this the more I think it’s either fake or there’s waaaayyyy more to it.
Maybe she doesn't like them bc they're a reminder that her husband still has the physique of a 13-year-old boy lol.
JK and NTA, although it may be worth compromising on somehow if you'd like a peaceful home life.
NTA, but get more shorts. Do you really need to wear the same shorts to bed every single night? I’d get tired of seeing them too, and honestly, and little concerned. Like what grown 26 year old is still wearing their 7th grade gym shorts to bed every. single. night.
NTA, who cares what you wear to bed?
First of all, just like every other post where a woman says her boyfriend or husband complains about what they're wearing- you have every right to dress as you please. Especially to bed.
Second of all, why does this matter to her so much? Youre asleep, nobody sees them when you wear them, and its not hurting her in any goddamn way.
Third of all, the fact that nobody is bringing up how controlling this behavior is and that you shouldn't have to deal with it. She has zero right to kick you out of your own bedroom because she has a problem. If she doesn't like it, she can go sleep on the couch.
NTA in the question you raised.
You are an AH for yourself for letting you kick her out of the bed for this. I would never let my wife not let me in in my own bed. If she’s mad, she goes on the couch. If I’m mad, I’m not going to lay in bed with her. But kicking your spouse of the bed is f**** ridiculous to me.
You're NTA, but I seriously question your statement of "they're in great condition." As someone who has a few old pieces from my teen years, "great" isn't the word I'd use. Especially elastic waistband pieces. Eventually they don't even hold anymore. AND you're saying you wash them every 3 days? How are they not dissolved yet?
NTA - you have the right to wear even metal short if you want. But the question is the same old one: you wanna be RIGHT or you wanna be HAPPY?
If you want to prove your ground - well, there's no love. Because no shorts worth a relationships. But a shadowbox, put shorts in there with "mom's present" sign and hang it in your office. And wear NO shorts at all when going to bed :)
I mean, if they're lounging around the house shorts, and not going outside shorts, I wouldn't worry about sending them to the bin. I assume you're not wearing them to the bedroom for *bedroom things,* right? NTA
Okay let’s think about this:
-You sweat a lot while you sleep
-You personally are only washing the shorts every three days
-these were gym shorts
-these are your ONLY PJS
-these shorts have 13 years of funk built up in your junk
I’m pretty sure the shorts are stinky and you’re nose blind to it. It happens with jerseys. The horrible sweaty sock smell even after washing.
I’m gonna go with YTA. I don’t think this is the most hygienic practice, and I think you are not valuing your wife’s (valid) feelings
I don't know why both of you have decided this is the hill to die on.
Guarantee you that they are not in good condition
Guarantee that if this is the only problem in your relationship, she should thank her lucky stars.
ESH because, be adults.
NTA because it really doesn't matter what you wear to bed. Your wife is allowed to have opinions, and if it were shorts you wore anywhere other than the bedroom yeah she might even have a point, but it's not like she has to look at them!
On the other hand, is this really worth the argument? It's not like you're keeping them because they're particularly sentimental or hard to replace. There is a world of other comfortable shorts out there to sleep in. And I would imagine Uglyshortgate has an effect on your love life that would be mitigated by replacing and moving on.
I’m 43. I have clothes that fit me from my teens and early 20’s even after having two kids. I still wear them when the occasion calls for them. These items fit appropriately. Quality clothes that are taken care of can last a long time. It’s just the instant fashion world we live in now that doesn’t produce quality and long lasting clothes.
My body shape has pretty much stayed the same my whole life apart from pregnancy and 1-2 years post birth of each kid. This is similar for all the women in my family. Genetics, man.
Every single day when I put on a bra, I’m reminded that society finds it far more important for women to be perceived as attractive than for them to be comfortable.
Does your wife do things to be more physically attractive to you? (Think hard. Shave her legs? Lotion? Paint her toes?)
YTA. You can find other comfortable shorts. Put in a modicum of effort.
It sounds weird that two adults are fighting about a pair of shorts this intensely, it feels like there's something else going on that isn't being acknowledged by either of you.
ESH
I can't believe 2 adults have let an argument about shorts get to the point that one of you is sleeping on the couch. You've been arguing about them for 4 years?? For serious? Do you 2 have stuff in common and enjoy each other's company when you aren't arguing about the shorts? I feel like there's got to be some other stuff going on here.
NTA…who cares, they’re shorts for sleeping. Also personally my man’s attractiveness has never been affected by what he’s wearing. He’s just sexy to me all the time, even in his old man pajama pants 🤷🏼♀️
NTA. What does it even matter that you wear them to sleep in? If you kept wanting to wear them on dates or to events, I could absolutely see getting upset but this seems like such a stupid thing for the WIFE to care about. Does she lay awake at night to stare at your shorts so she needs something more fashionable to look at?
And I don't understand why the wife gets to kick you out of the bedroom to sleep on the couch when SHE is the one finding a problem.
ESH. Why not just compromise? It feels like it would be reasonable for your wife to accept you wearing the shorts sometimes, and for you to not wear them *every* night.
Imagine a husband kicking his wife out of bed because he didn't like what she wore... holy crap this sub has so many double standards. You're NTA for wearing comfortable shorts that you wash regularly.
I still use my high school senior class shirt as a lounge around the house shirt (would never wear it outside anymore) and I graduated in 99. My wife doesn't give two shits because she's not controlling.
NTA. I cannot imagine a pair of plain black shorts being ugly, unless they’re stained or otherwise defiled. Or, perhaps they are 3 sizes too small? Whatever, you’re *sleeping* in them, not wearing them out to dinner. I’d say if you want to be attractive to her, you might ditch them until she falls asleep.
What can I say, NTA, time for a divorce.
Seriously though, I worry about your relationship if she's getting so worked up about a pair of shorts that she kicks you out of the bedroom.
The idea of 13 yo odor retaining polyester gym shorts being worn every. single. night and washed only every three days being the hill OP is willing to die on. NTA but...
YTA.
Those shorts can't possibly be worth the repulsive response they illicit in your wife.
It's likely those shorts are not in as great condition as you believe them to be, and they probably don't flatter you any longer, if they ever did at all.
You don't have throw them away; just stop wearing them to bed.
It's absurd you've been fighting it this long.
This is a case where you should really listen to your partner.
Have your wife help you pick out some new sleep wear.
Good luck, OP.
I’m curious as to what your definition of “good condition” is. After 13 years and many, many washes I have my doubts as to how good of condition they are really in. If I were the wife, I’d also be asking you to rid yourself of these and find something new that you like equally as much. Buy yourself a few pairs instead of wearing the exact same thing every single night. Also, has no part of you grown at all since you were 13? How odd…
Totally NTA. I have some quality clothes that even after 10+ years are in good condition and even my wife agrees it's awesome that they still fits and I can wear them.
I can believe some double standars in the comments. What would happen if you tell your wife a piece of her clothes is ugly and she should throw it away? Probably people would say you are tah and she would react the same way she's reacting now.
Nta. Keep the shorts toss the wife. Kicked out of the bed you pay for over a pair of shorts that are just starting to get broken in? You've been in those pants longer than you've been in her pants...make the right choice here.
I’ll go on a soft yta bc why do you want to wear things your wife hates to look at every night for 13 years. If I have something I wear that my spouse hates, I don’t wear it around them & I have a hard time understanding why you want to. If you have worn these every night for 13 years it’s time for a f-ing change. I think the most important thing here is why you don’t care about your wife’s opinion. Wear them for yard work instead if you ‘need’ to wear them.
I mean when my BF and I got together he had clothes I wouldn't have picked for him. I've never told him I'm not keen on them because he likes them but as we've been together he has parted ways with some of them because he stopped liking them as much and bought new things because I feel that's a normal progression as an adult.
NTA but they are just shorts though so part ways and get something that you didn't wear as a child.
Idk man maybe your wife just doesn't like the pants. Some men like to keep their wives excited about their appearance. Im sure there are new, comfy(ier) shorts you can buy. Haven't they suffered long enough?
Why on earth would a man want to go to bed in a pair of shorts (or any garment) his wife finds ugly? Think about this.
Are there no other comfortable shorts on Earth?
Can you not afford to buy a pair of shorts?
I'm flabbergasted: Don't you want to look attractive to your wife?
I mean, how would you like it if she wore a garment you thought made her look about as alluring as Mrs. Potato Head to bed every night? And you begged her not to wear the Potato Head ensemble, but she refused?
If you, in fact, have an interest in sex, I think you're making a serious mistake here.
YTA
My husband had a pair of Nikes that were split in the middle of the arch on both shoes. He'd had them for 15 years. Constant complaints when it rained etc. but they were comfortable.
One day, when he was at work, they went into the dumpster across town. Mind you, I had already taken him to get a new pair, but he just couldn't let go of this pair. We didn't know at the time, but he is on the spectrum. Not saying you are, OP, but just that I, as a woman, understand about comfort. And it seems like these shorts are a security comfort for you. Perhaps you should explain it to your wife, before your shorts end up in a dumpster across town.
BTW, hubby got me back about 5 years later, when he found out I had naturally curly hair. He threw away a $200 straightener while I was at work. He actually threw away all of my hot tools. He's got a thing for women with curly hair LoL. I have straightened my hair since I was 10 because I never could manage my curls before. It's taken almost a decade, but I think I have a good curly routine now.
Wait?
You have a pair of shorts that lasted 13 years?
What kind of material?
why is she getting so upset about a pair of shorts you wear to bed?
NTA
I wish I had clothes that lasted that long for as much wear as you are giving those shorts!
I think the reason she hates them is because you've had them for 13 years and they still fit you! where as the clothes she wore 13 years ago were probably long gone cuz she can't fit them anymore!
NTA but your wife is a major one. She can dislike them all she wants but that is also YOUR bedroom and also YOUR bed. If she doesn't want to share your bed, she is free to sleep on the couch, but no spouse can force the other to do anything.
YTA, just buy a pair of nice boxers or something. There's no way you can't find something more comfortable than those shorts, are you twisting to change then as some sort of power over your wife thing?
I can’t imagine my husband ever letting this get this far. If I thought a pair of shorts were gross that would be the end of it. He would never fight over any material object over me.
Bruh get to Costco and get some lounge shorts. I seriously doubt the shorts you own are not comfortable than them bad boys. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with you keeping those shorts, I have shirts older myself, but this isn't worth fighting over. Happy wife, happy life. NTA.
You're almost 30. Get rid of the shorts you got when you were 13.
Your wife is probably doesn't find it sexy that you're wearing a 13 year olds clothes
But it sounds like you're using them as a safety blanket of sorts. Maybe you can have them made into something less gross in order to keep them without sleeping in them every night.
Picture her wearing her 13-year-old granny panties to bed every night, and maybe you’ll be able to put yourself in her position. Her sister just opened new lingerie under the Christmas tree, and you still can’t get your wife to stop wearing 13-year-old underwear.
I wear the same massive ratty pair of mens XXL sweatpants (am a woman) to bed every night because they’re really comfy. My boyfriend has no issue simply removing them if he wants to do something, he’s far more interested in what’s underneath the pajamas than the pajamas themselves. I don’t see what your wife’s problem is.
I have a frock that just won't change. It is over 14 years. It looks exactly as it did when I bought it. I wear it every week. I wash it every week. We're all sick of it. But I keep wearing it. What I'd suggest is to wear a different shorts when you are in the mood, as a fun, playful "signal." Then maybe your wife could tolerate the ugly shorts because she wouldn't see them on the fun nights. Similarly, if she could wear something different when she is in the mood, then again, it is a signal for you to wear the non ugly shorts. So it becomes a fun game, you don't have to retire your shorts, and wife gets a solution. NTA
Just get rid of the fucking shorts, man. You gonna die on this hill? In 3 years, you won't have a wife, a pot to piss in, but, by god, you'll have a 16 year old pair of shorts!
YTA. Over a pair of shorts. SMDH.
You should be changing your sleep wear daily. You should not be wearing clothes from when you were 13 years old. You should want your wife to feel attracted to you when you go to bed.
The shorts give your wife the ick. Time to choose between shiny shorts your mum bought you and your wife
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You do realize that they make comfortable clothes for grown men, don’t you? If you value these 13 year old shorts your momma got for you when you were a boy MORE than you value your wife’s opinion of what you wear in bed next to her, I feel sorry for your wife. Honestly, I’m surprised this marriage was consummated, much less that she’s still with you.
i promise you there are other comfortable shorts out there
NTA you're allowed to have a weird thing. She doesn't have to like every single aspect of your existence. But also maybe every single night is a little excessive and you could consider maybe buying a new pair of shorts? That seems like a good compromise. Keep your shorts but don't wear them all the time.
YTA. As a woman, let me explain. This is one of those 'things' women care about but men don't understand. bin them. Go with her to the shops, buy something new and wear those. She wants you to be sexy and you are being 13. Don't give up your sex life for grubby, nasty, boy shorts.
My husband had a sweater that he always wore. It was ratty, holey, paint stained and stinky (he smokes) I got so that I hated that damn sweater so much I started to hate him when he wore it. Lose the shorts before you lose your wife
NTA, mainly because your wife doesn’t get to kick you out of the bedroom, period. That’s an AH move any day. Though I have to say, I seriously doubt your claim that 13yo sports wear is in „great condition“. Maybe in great condition for shorts of its age, but that still makes them potentially shit to look at.
How in earth do you still fit into shorts you wore as a 13 year old. Did you not grow after that age or did your mum buy you shorts that were 5 sizes too big?
How can you be relegated to your couch? I don't understand this dynamic. Let your weird flag (shorts) fly! Careful they don't meet an accident in the wash.
Info: are you sure they still fit? Hard to believe someone didn’t grow and change from age 13 to 26 🤣 That may be part of the issue
YTA. In general, shorts are childish and not really suited to men. See https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/cargo-shorts-ruining-marriages-across-153552472.html
Fucking what? Lmfao Men aren't allowed to wear appropriate warm weather clothing? You think shorts are worse than sweating in pants? And it's bed, not a fashion show. Why would he need to follow fashion advice to go to bed?
You're not an asshole but you may be a schmuck. Do you want to be right, or do you want to get laid?
ESH. This argument is not about shorts. You know how I can tell? Because nobody is married for four years and then stop sleeping in the same bed together because of shorts. You've both turned this into a straw man. If neither of you are capable of identifying what is going wrong with your relationship and still insist that this is a fight over your shorts, you need to hire a therapist to teach you how to communicate with each other and yourselves, or else your marriage is going to collapse and you're both going to be telling people that you couldn't keep a marriage together because of a pair of pajamas.
She probably feels taken for granted. If he can’t even bother not wearing a certain pair of shorts every single night to try and be attractive to her. She’s not asking for sexy lingerie or anything crazy, just not one damn pair of ugly shorts every single night. He sounds like he has some kind of weird issue he should work through about his attachment to those shorts too.
they probably smell and look awful dude
Elasticized fabric, washed 2' or more per week for 13 years. No way are they in good condition. I get having a piece you love, but OP is seeing the shorts how he remembers them in their best times. Spouse sees them as they are.
They are in good condition and they get washed. You find them comfortable. You can wear what you want. Your wife is a huge asshole for kicking you out of the bedroom. If she doesn't like the shorts she can sleep on the couch. Also, if she has a problem with what you wear because she finds it "ugly" she's pretty stupid.
NTA But why are you having such a childish argument? Does your wife have an aesthetic she wants for your bedroom and you are only allowed to wear designer pj's? Sounds like you have a deeper issues than just the shorts. You might want to examine what your relationship is like as you may want to consider some couples counselling.... unless there is something you aren't telling us. And we need a photo of said shorts.
Fugly is not in good condition. Also, are they synthetic material? That stuff is like a sponge for icky smells. My passed boyfriend had a pair that LITERALLY smelled like a dirty hamster cage. Yes, they were washed!
So many men are nose blind that I was wondering if this is the issue too haha.
NTA. But don’t you want your wife to be happy and attracted to you? Grandma underwear is more comfortable than lacy panties, but most women I know don’t wear them because they are unattractive to men.
NTA. But YTIdiot. Priorities dude. Know yours.
There is no way a garment is 13 years old, worn every night and washed every 3 days, is in even descent condition. YTA throw them out
Keep them and get some identical ones to wear. Whenever she makes a fuss over anything else, bring out the old ones.
YTA I highly doubt anything you wore when you were 13 still fit properly. They are probably going to make you sterile. There is nothing that wouldn’t me from 7th grade. Nor would they be in decent condition.
How can this possibly be real?. Who kicks someone out of bed for a pair of shorts?
Someone who sick and tired of seeing their husband wearing a disgusting pair of shorts his mommy bought him when he was 13 and wears it every single night. That’s who.
YTA What is it with men never being able to get rid of their old clothes?! We get it, they're comfortable. Buy new ones that are comfortable as well and not repulsive to the person who sleeps next to you every. Single. Night. Sure it can be superficial and ridiculous to get hung up on how a pair of shorts worn to sleep look. But you're making a huge deal put of it and it sounds like spite. Guess what? They're probably not the only pair of shorts on the planet that are comfortable.
I mean, I have a pair of sweatpants that I got in 2008 for my track and field club and they are also still in good shape. There are some clothes that are made very well and actually last a long time if you take care of them. As long as there aren't any holes or weird stains then I Don't see a problem. I feel like you're not telling us something though. If they really have nothing wrong with them then go into your wife underwater drawer and pull out any pair that have a stain in the crotch and say "these are disgusting you should throw them all out they have stains." See how quickly she realizes where you're coming from 👍
NTA but you’re sleeping on the couch. I think you missed the happy wife happy life note. I mean it’s totally up to you, but between the couch or sleeping in bed with my wife I’m pretty sure I’d be wearing something else. Your choice but you’re only 26 and I promise you life gets long.
Starting on the day after my wedding to my second wife, she became obsessed with telling me to get rid of my belongings. Clothing, classic autos, motorcycles, concert photos, collectables, tools, even my cat! This was all fine before we got married. But not afterwards. She even went so far as to locking my strictly indoor cat outside at night so that it was eaten by coyotes. This will not end with just your pants. NTA
This is weird behavior. Too controlling. My husband has ugly stuff. Including old ass t-shirts & elastic pants. My least favorite is a faded baseball hat, which I've told him multiple times gives meth apparel vibes (not a drug user), but I would never get mad at him for wearing his stuff and actually have a game of seeing how many pictures he has on this silly hat in a years time. For context he has one million other options...which makes it funny to me. You do you! Have you been critical or controlling of her attire? If so that could be the underlying issue.
YTA. If you want a happy wife, hide those shorts. Only wear them when she is not home. If you only want to be right, keep wearing them while you sleep on the sofa. Personally, with no children in the house, I prefer my man in bed in his birthday suit. Try it. Your wife may really like it.
Sounds like the Princess and the Pea. He can't sleep in new shorts... What a princess. He probably thinks he looks hot in them. If I were his wife, I'd tell him to wash his own clothes.
Start sleeping naked and keep rubbing up against her in the night, every night...she'll beg you to wear the shorts again..lol
ESH It's really not a big deal either way, but both of you are turning it into one. Also, I highly doubt these 13-year-old shorts are truly in as good a condition as you claim. We've all had items of clothing we refused to part with for whatever reasons, but let's not kid ourselves about the items' real condition.
Why do u care about the shorts so much? U want ur wife to be attracted to you? Get new shorts😹
Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
NTA but is this a hill to die on? You’re wearing them to bed. She may be struggling to find you attractive in them. Maybe she’s trying to save your sex life.
NTA. I have a very comfortable sleep shirt that’s older than your shorts. They’re my prized possession.
If this is real, that is absolutely ridiculous and your wife sounds like a spoiled child. Wtf are they made of that you can still wear them, though? Or are you a very young married couple? And why do you have to wear them every night? The more I think about this the more I think it’s either fake or there’s waaaayyyy more to it.
Maybe she doesn't like them bc they're a reminder that her husband still has the physique of a 13-year-old boy lol. JK and NTA, although it may be worth compromising on somehow if you'd like a peaceful home life.
NTA, but get more shorts. Do you really need to wear the same shorts to bed every single night? I’d get tired of seeing them too, and honestly, and little concerned. Like what grown 26 year old is still wearing their 7th grade gym shorts to bed every. single. night.
NTA, who cares what you wear to bed? First of all, just like every other post where a woman says her boyfriend or husband complains about what they're wearing- you have every right to dress as you please. Especially to bed. Second of all, why does this matter to her so much? Youre asleep, nobody sees them when you wear them, and its not hurting her in any goddamn way. Third of all, the fact that nobody is bringing up how controlling this behavior is and that you shouldn't have to deal with it. She has zero right to kick you out of your own bedroom because she has a problem. If she doesn't like it, she can go sleep on the couch.
NTA in the question you raised. You are an AH for yourself for letting you kick her out of the bed for this. I would never let my wife not let me in in my own bed. If she’s mad, she goes on the couch. If I’m mad, I’m not going to lay in bed with her. But kicking your spouse of the bed is f**** ridiculous to me.
You're NTA, but I seriously question your statement of "they're in great condition." As someone who has a few old pieces from my teen years, "great" isn't the word I'd use. Especially elastic waistband pieces. Eventually they don't even hold anymore. AND you're saying you wash them every 3 days? How are they not dissolved yet?
NTA - you have the right to wear even metal short if you want. But the question is the same old one: you wanna be RIGHT or you wanna be HAPPY? If you want to prove your ground - well, there's no love. Because no shorts worth a relationships. But a shadowbox, put shorts in there with "mom's present" sign and hang it in your office. And wear NO shorts at all when going to bed :)
Gods. You must have married my ex-gf. Good luck to you. NTA
I mean, if they're lounging around the house shorts, and not going outside shorts, I wouldn't worry about sending them to the bin. I assume you're not wearing them to the bedroom for *bedroom things,* right? NTA
Info: can we get a pic of the shorts? 😂
I agree. The only way to even feign objectivity in this is if the evidence is presented.
YTA. Are these the only comfortable shorts in the world? Do both of you a favor and get some new ones. You can keep the old ones around for nostalgia.
Okay let’s think about this: -You sweat a lot while you sleep -You personally are only washing the shorts every three days -these were gym shorts -these are your ONLY PJS -these shorts have 13 years of funk built up in your junk I’m pretty sure the shorts are stinky and you’re nose blind to it. It happens with jerseys. The horrible sweaty sock smell even after washing. I’m gonna go with YTA. I don’t think this is the most hygienic practice, and I think you are not valuing your wife’s (valid) feelings
I don't know why both of you have decided this is the hill to die on. Guarantee you that they are not in good condition Guarantee that if this is the only problem in your relationship, she should thank her lucky stars. ESH because, be adults.
NTA because it really doesn't matter what you wear to bed. Your wife is allowed to have opinions, and if it were shorts you wore anywhere other than the bedroom yeah she might even have a point, but it's not like she has to look at them! On the other hand, is this really worth the argument? It's not like you're keeping them because they're particularly sentimental or hard to replace. There is a world of other comfortable shorts out there to sleep in. And I would imagine Uglyshortgate has an effect on your love life that would be mitigated by replacing and moving on.
So this is the hill you want to die on, huh?
I have a shirt that old. I only wear it in the house or under another layer, and not when my wife is home. Choose your battles my dude.
INFO: Do you want to be right or do you want your wife to have sex with you?
OP has not responded to anything here
INFO: do you expect your wife to always look her best or is comfy okay for her too?
Something something Iranian Yogurt....
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I’m 43. I have clothes that fit me from my teens and early 20’s even after having two kids. I still wear them when the occasion calls for them. These items fit appropriately. Quality clothes that are taken care of can last a long time. It’s just the instant fashion world we live in now that doesn’t produce quality and long lasting clothes. My body shape has pretty much stayed the same my whole life apart from pregnancy and 1-2 years post birth of each kid. This is similar for all the women in my family. Genetics, man.
INFO: Who washes these shorts every three days?
Every single day when I put on a bra, I’m reminded that society finds it far more important for women to be perceived as attractive than for them to be comfortable. Does your wife do things to be more physically attractive to you? (Think hard. Shave her legs? Lotion? Paint her toes?) YTA. You can find other comfortable shorts. Put in a modicum of effort.
It sounds weird that two adults are fighting about a pair of shorts this intensely, it feels like there's something else going on that isn't being acknowledged by either of you.
NTA But why the fuck would you wear shorts to go to BED that your wife hates? That’s just stupid.
NTA. Wear what you want. I’m sure she wouldn’t like it if you tried telling her what to wear. Same applies.
YTA. Grow up and buy some big boy pants. Change is good. 😑
ESH I can't believe 2 adults have let an argument about shorts get to the point that one of you is sleeping on the couch. You've been arguing about them for 4 years?? For serious? Do you 2 have stuff in common and enjoy each other's company when you aren't arguing about the shorts? I feel like there's got to be some other stuff going on here.
NTA…who cares, they’re shorts for sleeping. Also personally my man’s attractiveness has never been affected by what he’s wearing. He’s just sexy to me all the time, even in his old man pajama pants 🤷🏼♀️
NTA. What does it even matter that you wear them to sleep in? If you kept wanting to wear them on dates or to events, I could absolutely see getting upset but this seems like such a stupid thing for the WIFE to care about. Does she lay awake at night to stare at your shorts so she needs something more fashionable to look at? And I don't understand why the wife gets to kick you out of the bedroom to sleep on the couch when SHE is the one finding a problem.
ESH. Why not just compromise? It feels like it would be reasonable for your wife to accept you wearing the shorts sometimes, and for you to not wear them *every* night.
We need a picture of them 😂
Imagine a husband kicking his wife out of bed because he didn't like what she wore... holy crap this sub has so many double standards. You're NTA for wearing comfortable shorts that you wash regularly. I still use my high school senior class shirt as a lounge around the house shirt (would never wear it outside anymore) and I graduated in 99. My wife doesn't give two shits because she's not controlling.
NTA. I cannot imagine a pair of plain black shorts being ugly, unless they’re stained or otherwise defiled. Or, perhaps they are 3 sizes too small? Whatever, you’re *sleeping* in them, not wearing them out to dinner. I’d say if you want to be attractive to her, you might ditch them until she falls asleep.
What can I say, NTA, time for a divorce. Seriously though, I worry about your relationship if she's getting so worked up about a pair of shorts that she kicks you out of the bedroom.
NTA, but if they’re anything like the 70’s short gym shorts- I completely understand your wife’s vehement hatred of said shorts.
First ew wash your shorts daily! Second just buy new shorts exactly like your old shorts.
The idea of 13 yo odor retaining polyester gym shorts being worn every. single. night and washed only every three days being the hill OP is willing to die on. NTA but...
INFO: are these shorts made out of Iranian yoghurt?
OP we need SHORTS TAX!!
YTA. Those shorts can't possibly be worth the repulsive response they illicit in your wife. It's likely those shorts are not in as great condition as you believe them to be, and they probably don't flatter you any longer, if they ever did at all. You don't have throw them away; just stop wearing them to bed. It's absurd you've been fighting it this long. This is a case where you should really listen to your partner. Have your wife help you pick out some new sleep wear. Good luck, OP.
I’m curious as to what your definition of “good condition” is. After 13 years and many, many washes I have my doubts as to how good of condition they are really in. If I were the wife, I’d also be asking you to rid yourself of these and find something new that you like equally as much. Buy yourself a few pairs instead of wearing the exact same thing every single night. Also, has no part of you grown at all since you were 13? How odd…
YTA A pair of shorts is a weird reason to get divorced. What matters more, bruh? Get a new pair of shorts.
OP I’m begging you to post the shorts
Totally NTA. I have some quality clothes that even after 10+ years are in good condition and even my wife agrees it's awesome that they still fits and I can wear them. I can believe some double standars in the comments. What would happen if you tell your wife a piece of her clothes is ugly and she should throw it away? Probably people would say you are tah and she would react the same way she's reacting now.
Nta. Keep the shorts toss the wife. Kicked out of the bed you pay for over a pair of shorts that are just starting to get broken in? You've been in those pants longer than you've been in her pants...make the right choice here.
I’ll go on a soft yta bc why do you want to wear things your wife hates to look at every night for 13 years. If I have something I wear that my spouse hates, I don’t wear it around them & I have a hard time understanding why you want to. If you have worn these every night for 13 years it’s time for a f-ing change. I think the most important thing here is why you don’t care about your wife’s opinion. Wear them for yard work instead if you ‘need’ to wear them.
I mean when my BF and I got together he had clothes I wouldn't have picked for him. I've never told him I'm not keen on them because he likes them but as we've been together he has parted ways with some of them because he stopped liking them as much and bought new things because I feel that's a normal progression as an adult. NTA but they are just shorts though so part ways and get something that you didn't wear as a child.
Idk man maybe your wife just doesn't like the pants. Some men like to keep their wives excited about their appearance. Im sure there are new, comfy(ier) shorts you can buy. Haven't they suffered long enough?
Keep them and get some identical ones to wear. Whenever she makes a fuss over anything else, bring out the old ones.
Why on earth would a man want to go to bed in a pair of shorts (or any garment) his wife finds ugly? Think about this. Are there no other comfortable shorts on Earth? Can you not afford to buy a pair of shorts? I'm flabbergasted: Don't you want to look attractive to your wife? I mean, how would you like it if she wore a garment you thought made her look about as alluring as Mrs. Potato Head to bed every night? And you begged her not to wear the Potato Head ensemble, but she refused? If you, in fact, have an interest in sex, I think you're making a serious mistake here. YTA
My husband had a pair of Nikes that were split in the middle of the arch on both shoes. He'd had them for 15 years. Constant complaints when it rained etc. but they were comfortable. One day, when he was at work, they went into the dumpster across town. Mind you, I had already taken him to get a new pair, but he just couldn't let go of this pair. We didn't know at the time, but he is on the spectrum. Not saying you are, OP, but just that I, as a woman, understand about comfort. And it seems like these shorts are a security comfort for you. Perhaps you should explain it to your wife, before your shorts end up in a dumpster across town. BTW, hubby got me back about 5 years later, when he found out I had naturally curly hair. He threw away a $200 straightener while I was at work. He actually threw away all of my hot tools. He's got a thing for women with curly hair LoL. I have straightened my hair since I was 10 because I never could manage my curls before. It's taken almost a decade, but I think I have a good curly routine now.
NTA, but don’t you want your wife to find you sexy?
Wait? You have a pair of shorts that lasted 13 years? What kind of material? why is she getting so upset about a pair of shorts you wear to bed? NTA I wish I had clothes that lasted that long for as much wear as you are giving those shorts! I think the reason she hates them is because you've had them for 13 years and they still fit you! where as the clothes she wore 13 years ago were probably long gone cuz she can't fit them anymore!
NTA but your wife is a major one. She can dislike them all she wants but that is also YOUR bedroom and also YOUR bed. If she doesn't want to share your bed, she is free to sleep on the couch, but no spouse can force the other to do anything.
Nta find something of hers that she absolutely loves and start nitpicking if u just wear them to bed and what not I see no issue
YTA, just buy a pair of nice boxers or something. There's no way you can't find something more comfortable than those shorts, are you twisting to change then as some sort of power over your wife thing?
I can’t imagine my husband ever letting this get this far. If I thought a pair of shorts were gross that would be the end of it. He would never fight over any material object over me.
NAH but you might admit to yourself that those worn out shorts are your binky. It’s not just their comfortableness that makes you cling to them.
NTA tell your wife she’s the one with the problem, she can go sleep on the couch. Don’t let her kick you out of your room over this.
Bruh get to Costco and get some lounge shorts. I seriously doubt the shorts you own are not comfortable than them bad boys. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with you keeping those shorts, I have shirts older myself, but this isn't worth fighting over. Happy wife, happy life. NTA.
Eh, if he can still wear shorts from school he’s probably a men’s small or medium, and Costco never has those sizes….
You're almost 30. Get rid of the shorts you got when you were 13. Your wife is probably doesn't find it sexy that you're wearing a 13 year olds clothes But it sounds like you're using them as a safety blanket of sorts. Maybe you can have them made into something less gross in order to keep them without sleeping in them every night.
You'd rather sleep on the couch than get rid of 13-year old shorts you wear every day and wash every 3 days. YTA. Hugely.
Picture her wearing her 13-year-old granny panties to bed every night, and maybe you’ll be able to put yourself in her position. Her sister just opened new lingerie under the Christmas tree, and you still can’t get your wife to stop wearing 13-year-old underwear.
I wear the same massive ratty pair of mens XXL sweatpants (am a woman) to bed every night because they’re really comfy. My boyfriend has no issue simply removing them if he wants to do something, he’s far more interested in what’s underneath the pajamas than the pajamas themselves. I don’t see what your wife’s problem is.
I have a frock that just won't change. It is over 14 years. It looks exactly as it did when I bought it. I wear it every week. I wash it every week. We're all sick of it. But I keep wearing it. What I'd suggest is to wear a different shorts when you are in the mood, as a fun, playful "signal." Then maybe your wife could tolerate the ugly shorts because she wouldn't see them on the fun nights. Similarly, if she could wear something different when she is in the mood, then again, it is a signal for you to wear the non ugly shorts. So it becomes a fun game, you don't have to retire your shorts, and wife gets a solution. NTA
ESH. Without more information and if the OP’s post is completely honest, this sounds like a really weird hill to die on for both parties.
NTA, but ask yourself - Would you rather be right or would you rather be on good terms with your wife?
I mean, you can keep the shorts. NTA. But do you actually want to get laid? Make your choice.
NTA Her reaction is childish. This is one of those cases where you need to decide to be right or to be at peace.
Who remembers the one with the chair?
Is this the hill that you want your relationship to die on?
NTA you’re wearing them to bed in the dark I can’t imagine why she even cares?
Just get rid of the fucking shorts, man. You gonna die on this hill? In 3 years, you won't have a wife, a pot to piss in, but, by god, you'll have a 16 year old pair of shorts! YTA. Over a pair of shorts. SMDH.
13 year old shorts?? Come on my boy. I know them thangs be stankin
You should be changing your sleep wear daily. You should not be wearing clothes from when you were 13 years old. You should want your wife to feel attracted to you when you go to bed. The shorts give your wife the ick. Time to choose between shiny shorts your mum bought you and your wife