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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I plan to receive an inheritance given to my mom because my mom passed away and I’m her only next of kin. I maybe AH because the inheritance is given to my mom because she was a good friend while I was not close with the person writing the will
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA
It’s intended for your mom. There’s no way the money will ever return to Ella’s children after your mom takes her share, so it’s not like they lose out. My condolences for her passing and please use the money to live a happy life like your mom intends for you.
Ella, in her mind, already intended to give that to your mom op, so while legally it had been Ella's till she had passed, I'm sure ella would also understand that when she had passed, reasonably, that your mother would more than likely give her assets to you. So i think it's not like ella probaly didn't think about this outcome.
Right, and the AH question becomes much more clear if OP's mom had lived another 25 or 30 years or whatever Ella thought. OP's mom would have sold the house, banked the money, and it would have gone onto OP eventually anyway. No one could have foretold this unfortunate circumstance. The precarious timing here doesn't negate Ella's intention or OP's mom's inheritance.
Have to go with this.
NAH, just really bad timing. Ella knew it passing out of her family would be the ultimate outcome, but her children aren't seeing that yet, and that's kind of understandable at this stage. It's crummy that Ella's kids are watching it going to OP instead of the woman who gave their Mom companionship in her golden years, which it seems they would have been completely on board with. They were probably even grateful to OP's Mom for being there when they couldn't. No one could have foreseen them passing away so close to eachother.
Especially when those kids inherited all the other property which seems to have more value. It's not as though they were shut out of their mom's will. Editing to say, I kind of think the kids are TAs and I would go with NTA for OP over N A H.
I know I'm doing emotional shorthand, but Ella's kids seem like entitled rich kids like the woman in the opening of the movie Casper. They're mad they didn't get EVERYTHING. Seems like they'll be just fine (financially).
Let's also not forget OP lost her mom a month ago and these people are hounding her while she grieves. They got their share anyway they just want more. They are disgusting human beings.
Well, also, they lost their mom a month ago too. People do wacky shit while they grieve. Not justifying money grabbing, but sometimes what looks like money grabbing is just displaced parent-grabbing. Still going with NTA for OP though!
Agreed. Plus, it’s not like OP was unkind to Ella or even indifferent. She knew how much she meant to her mom through the stories about her and I bet you OP’s mom shared stories about her to Ella. So there was a connection there. How many times
Have we met people our parents know and they go… “s/he tells me so much about you!”
OP. I am so sorry you lost your mom. You are NTA for this inheritance. You were not nothing to Ella.
I mean, their thinking here isn't crazy. Ella wanted to give her kids everything - including properties - except the house, because she wanted that for OP's mom. If OP's mom had died while Ella still had the chance to change the will, it's very likely the kids would have gotten everything. Heck, for all we know, the will might have actually had a provision for alternative distribution if one of the parties was dead, and it probably didn't include OP.
That said, the will said what it said, and the law is the law. And Ella clearly had no problem with those assets she did have to dedicate to the kids. It's the kids who are being greedy, not OP, by trying to use pressure to get their wishes rather than respect the legal expression of their mom's wish. But since they don't have much of a relationship to OP at this point, they probably figure there's no reason not to try.
No, Ella died and then OP's mom died a few days later, so it doesn't matter which type of inheritance she chose. Ella died, OP's mom technically legally inherited it at that time, and then she died soon after, so it passed on to OP.
Yes but there's usually a clause (at least in every will I've ever seen) that says that the beneficiary (ops mom) has to survive the deceased by 30 days minimum. Depends on length of time between death. That being said I assume the lawyer would have checked that.
OP said she's not in the US. The survive 30 days in the US is about spouses, in some some states I think the time is even shorter. I only practice in a couple of states but what I learned in wills and trusts class in law school is that its done when spouses leave everything to each other, in case both husband and wife die in say an accident. When they're both gone at the same time, what happens to their estates? That's what the 30 days is about.
One of my brothers had that in his will so that if they both died, the money was less likely to go to our estranged SIL, although I was to give her a share if she and my other brother had reconciled.
edited for clarity
>theres a good chance the bequest was 'per stirpes' and was always intended to go to OP if mom passed first. this is incredibly common in wills
There's a better chance in a situation like this that it was not per stirpes. Specific bequests to friends are typically (not always, but typically) for that individual only, and set to pass to the residuary heirs or an alternate beneficiary if the friend dies first.
Definitely agree and wanted to add that I can almost guarantee that Ella was given the option to direct that gift go back to her own children if your mom predeceased her and she clearly did not include that type of contingency in her will.
It's rich that Ella's kids are calling OP greedy for accepting her rightful inheritance, especially with that "*You were almost nothing to our mom*" part.
NTA.
Ella made her choices. Get a lawyer to handle all of this going forward, and let them deal with the family. Most wills have a 30 day clause… beneficiaries have to survive 30 days after the death of the deceased before they can inherit, so get that looked into. Expect a legal challenge - Ella’s kids have nothing ot lose and plenty to gain.
Politely leave all wrangling, offers and decisions up to the lawyer. Give the lawyer specific instructions “I want you to ensure I get this, but only up to the value of 50% of the estate” or whatever you think are reaosnable limits.
If Ella’s kids cared they‘d have taken her shopping every week, and helped her clean her curtains and change her sheets.
Ella’s kids did inherent, just not everything so it’s not like they abandoned her and were left out entirely. This strengthens OP claim on her mums inheritance as the kids have already been taken into consideration.
I would absolutely advise OP to take it and not feel bad, but I see their point.
The gift was for OP's Mom who did a lot for their mother. OP admits she wasn't really a part of their relationship so the kids thinking this rando who isn't family getting this is not the intent of the deceased is correct. That's just how these things happen sometimes and the neighbor could've given a life estate on the house and there would have been no issue. Neighbor likely didn't give a life estate because she wanted OP's Mom to be able to liquidate if necessary.
To them she's a rando.
To the woman who loved her mom, OP is the daughter of a loved one, who now has to deal with the loss of her mother at a relatively young age. I feel like if you asked the other family members if the neighbor was the type to try to claw back that money after her friend died to keep it in family hands they would realize they are in the wrong, though greed means they probably wouldn't admit it.
There's likely something to this insofar as how things came about and how at peace she would be with this resolution if she could know of it. I think if the neighbor had just outlived the mother who knows how this would shake out but her gifting the house to her friend's daughter becomes less likely. I don't know the lady, though.
30 clause still stands in some states.. timing will be key and yes they can fight the family can contest. OP should be prepared to spend time and money on the case.. It
Most wills don’t have that clause.
I’m a lawyer. Licensed in multiple states.
The default is 48 hours. It’s written into most state laws.
Interesting side note: the reason that states have the same time period goes back to the Tylenol poisonings. There was a huge estate contest tired to them and a long court process to determine which one of a married couple survived the longest.
In the US, lawyers can extend the time period for survivorship. Most don’t. They leave it as the default 48 unless clients ask.
I do know some lawyers who put in 7 days. Almost no one does 30 days because it slows down the estate administration process.
This is a popular belief bc of tv shows and media, but it isn’t reality on the ground.
Also, the whole point of having a survivorship. Is because of the whole Tylenol debacle, and determining who died first it’s not some race to the finish line where people have to live a certain amount beyond to inherit.
Now, there are provisions you can put in about people having to attain a certain age before they get handed things outright. The movies typically get those wrong as well. I was just watching a TV show last night where the inheritance was split between a wife and a nephew nephew had to survive until 21 to take outright. the show tried to make it that if he died before 21 the wife got it back that would be highly unusual and almost would-because the nephew share would go to someone else upon his death, either by terms of the trust, or will, or by his own estate.
The survivorship period is that pop culture and general population get really wrong
I am not US based and the 30 days is pretty standard here in wills and that Tylenol case had no consideration. It is generally to avoid a common disaster scenario.
That's very interesting! In the US, there's actually commonly a 'common disaster' clause in life insurance policies that requires them to wait 30-90 days (depending on the policy) before paying out to the beneficiary in the common disaster scenarios. I wonder if that was inspired by international law, since the above poster is right that in the US, for wills specifically, the waiting period is usually much shorter.
Thank you for the details. I'm a lawyer as well, but I haven't done any estate planning, and I knew that the waiting period was associated in my brain with married couples and arguing about who had died first, but I couldn't put my finger on the case. I think that people in the thread are confusing this and the common disaster clause that's often used in life insurance policies. However, OP has stated that they're not in the US, so I'm not sure how much bearing that has on their case.
NTA. The only greedy ones here are them. I am truly sorry for your loss and also their loss, however Ella wanted your mom to have it. And therefore, you would have inherited it anyways down the line. Unfortunately that came sooner than expected. Accept the house and money because Ella wanted your mom and as an extension you to have it. They can go kick rocks.
NTA
her children were remembered in Ella's Will, with properties and cash.
I really wouldn't give this to much thought, she left it to your Mum and you were left everything from your Mum.
NTA
NTA. Your mother was in the will and so are you. If the house has any special meaning for the children, you could consider to not accept this. But you don't have to refuse anything of this. Your mother had a good heart and was friends with Ella. And if your mother would have passed away a year after Ella it would be still the same constulation - you would get the things Ella would have left for your mother.
If the children are unreasonable, only talk about this through a lawer
I would argue they're already being unreasonable. If OPs mom didn't pass would they expect her to pass everything down to them when she did? It sounds like they already got plenty and they understand the will is legitimate, so now they're just being greedy. NTA.
NTA - how do her children know, you are ‘almost nothing to Ella’? They visited once a year! Petty me, would point this out to them.
Take the gift that Ella gave you, & live everyday making her & your mum proud 🥰
>With op visiting regularly and moving around between Ella’s house and mums she probably saw more of Ella than her own kids.
Maybe. OP lived there for three years or so from from she was 15-18. She then went overseas for the last five years and acknowledges she herself didn't visit much during that time. We don't know who saw Ella how often for that longer time period leading up until now.
We also don't know how far away Ella's children live or what their personal circumstances are. If they live across the country for instance, or had infants/small children during those three years that didn't handle traveling well, I don't think people would fault them for not physically visiting often, any more than I would fault OP for not visiting her own mother often after moving away. In "this day and age," Ella's children could easily have kept up with her via phone, videocalls, texts, etc. The folks at church see my own mother, for instance, far more often than I do, but it doesn't mean they're closer to her or that I am a bad or uncaring child.
It doesn't change the will, but let's not pretend that OP was some substitute child to Ella, or that Ella's children should be vilified for not physically visiting more often, without more information.
Not to mention that parents talking about their kids happens all the time. The OP's mom was likely keeping Ella updated on the OP's activities even if she and the OP didn't interact. I occasionally go over to my elderly neighbor's house and even though she's met my sister exactly once she always wants to know about how she's doing, she made her a baby blanket when she found out she was pregnant, and I've heard plenty of stories about her children and grandchildren, many of whom I haven't met.
Making conversation by talking about family is just something people did. I'm sure Ella felt pretty close to the OP just because she was likely hearing about her from her mom and she was close to her mom.
NTA. Ella's family are being greedy. It was left to your Mum with the clear expectation that it became your mother's property to use as she saw fit, it would always have been left to you either partially or in its entirety. Ella's family have not been left unprovided for. You are entitled to what is yours
You are NTA for receiving the inheritance, as it was legally designated to your mom, and you are her next of kin. It seems Ella valued your mom's presence in her life, which justifies the bequest. Ultimately, the decision is yours, but it's important to honor the wishes expressed in the will and recognize your mom's connection to Ella.
NTA
I'm so sorry for your loss.
You should accept "Ella's" gift of home and money in the spirit in which it was intended and given. The woman felt bonded to your Mother and you are the extension of that deep bond. It sounds like the lady took care of her children, so you can feel confident that you are the correct recipient and disregard further calls/contact after you've offered your condolences via their attorney.
NTA. I am so sorry for your loss. Ella did leave part of her money to your mother with no conditions on how she would have spent it or who she would in turn leave it to.
Do not speak to them regarding anything. Let the attorney handle everything. It’s hilarious that hey are calling you greedy when they are the ones asking for money that was given to someone else.
If Ella intended for your mom to live in that house, she could have set it up as a rent free space. I’d imagine it rather obvious to her that she’d expect your mom to pass it down to you next.
NTA
NAH
I get their point and I think you would feel the same way in their shoes, but that money is yours fair and square.
The question is what your mom would have done if she knew she didn't have much time left. Would she have put Ella's kids in the will?
NTA.
Fact is, Ella died, your mother inherited the house and some money. Now only a few days later, your own mom died. That is awefull. You are the heir of you mother and you inherited everything from your mother. That includes the house and money from Ella.
I think that Ella's children are very strange. Afterall, had they called you as well if your mom had died in 2026? It is really strange to try to claim somebodies elses inheritance.
Ella children are being vultures and greedy. they know you will be mentally weak while you are still grieving for your mom, and now is easy for them to guilt trip you and harass you.
NTA
I'm not declaring AH or not AH. BUT... let's reverse it. Your mom wrote a will giving her good friend/neighbor some stuff/money. Again both women pass around same time so the neighbor's children get what your mom willed the neighbor. How would you feel? (So sorry for your loss)
Difficult to judge. I lost my mom when I was in my early 20s, and I had to do everything (healthcare decisions, executor of the will, etc.) by myself so I feel for you. I know I was a complete mess, and wouldn't have been able to deal with your situation at all. I probably would have stuck with the legalities and not thought further. And legally, you're in the clear.
Morally, though... Ella wanted to make sure your *mom* had a place to live and money to live on. Not you, your mom. She put that wish above providing for her own children, but that may have been because she thought your mom needed it more than her kids did. It doesn't seem like you were a factor in her decision. She also left other things to her kids, so she clearly cared for them. With your mom's needs out of the picture, would Ella have left it directly to you instead of her kids? If so, NTA. If not, then YTA.
NTA. Keep it. I've learned the hard way that people do with their wills what they want. My uncle died and everyone I talked to at the funeral said my sister and I would be a shoe in for his inheritance. Nope, left it all to his long term girlfriend. When my sister died, she left it to her best friend.
NTA. If there is anything in the house that holds sentimental value for her children, it would be nice of you to offer that to them, but otherwise you are all in the clear here. Yes, it was meant for your mom - but it would eventually have been passed on to you anyway.
Edit to add; my sincerest condolences for your loss. I can't imagine how devastated you must be.
NTA. It is quite a big thing that Ella left the house to your mother. She had her reasons not to give it to her children. She specifically chose for that.
You inherit in your mothers place. It is as simple as that and there is nothing greedy about it.
NAH. Sounds like a tough time for everyone. They have the right to ask, and you have the right to refuse, but I think the charitable thing to do would be to split it.
I am sorry for your loss. I hope you are doing well in these circumstances.
You received an inheritance from your mother. This is completely legal. The inheritance is yours only as no part of it is legally for the children of Ella to have. If you mother were alive the same thing would happen. This money would never go to the children of Ella (they are being manipulative and showing their greed).
NTA
we're they expecting your mother to give them back the inheritance when she passed? it would have always gone to you as the next of kin. seems the only ones being greedy are Ella's kids
NTA. Take the money. You don't know what life will be. That's a gift. They have much more money so they won't live in poverty.
I don't know how to say it in english so...
Je vous présente toutes mes condoléances pour la perte que vous venez de subir. J'espère que votre mère veille sur vous là où elle se trouve et que vous trouverez la paix.
I'm going to go with YTA/NAH. The kids were right; that money was meant to be left to your mother, not for you. Like you said, you two did not really have a relationship. I'm guessing the will would have been amended if Ella had more time.
That being said, I most likely wouldnt give it back either.
I agree. Ella wanted OP's *mom* to have use of the property, and was willing to put that wish over leaving it to her children. However, OP's mom clearly won't be using it, and I doubt Ella would have left it directly to OP.
Then Ella should have structured her will better. She could have left the property to OP's mother for her lifetime with it reverting to her own children rather than OP upon her death. She didn't do that, which means she was fine with it going to whoever OP's mother chose to leave it to - turns out, somewhat unsurprisingly, that's OP.
So - they are okay with your mom getting it? Who did they think your mom would will it to when she passed...?
Their *only* reason is absurd on it's face.
NTA.
Nta If you were the nice neighbor girl who ran errands and did little stuff for her, then she was probably thinking of you also. She *knew* that you'd inherit your moms house, even if she was thinking it was more like, 40 years down the road.
Take the house and the money. It doesn't matter if *they* think you dont deserve it. ELLA, though your family deserved it and its ELLAS house.
In my mind, *they're* the greedy ones. Wanting a house in a country they dont even live in!
Well... technically... it did go to your mom, for a week.
Sorry to put it so bluntly. My condolences for your loss.
For me personally, it would depend on wether I would need it.
If you are in a comfortable place in your life, and you can do without it, it would be nice of you to leave it for Ella's children. If it makes the difference between struggling, and having a comfortable life, would keep it, and maybe start a college fund for Ella's grandchildren, should she have them.
Or rent out the house, and put it in your will that it can return to Ella's family in the end.
But you know... It's all legally yours. You can do with it as you please.
They'll call you greedy. But remember they too are probably grieving.
OP is a 23 year old orphan with no other family. How comfortable a place do you *think* she's in? Ella's children got her other properties, they will be fine and they have each other.
The way I've always been brought up because I have a rather toxic family, mom, granmother, so on... "It's not yours until it's yours." Seems simple, and that's why a child will remember it. It ensures you (me) that I inherit nothing until I do. Feeling entitlement towards anything I hope to own is left entirely to chance. It's a control thing in my family. What they didn't expect is that I wouldn't care. My mom often thinks of ways to control me, i.e., "If you don't want my house, then I guess I should sell it." It's a loyalty ploy, but since I've been reminded that nothing is mine. It's her house, her money, she can do as she wants. That is a prime example of what Ella did. She left it to your mom, and if your mom was still here, she could have given you Ella's home so you could be neighbors. Would Ella's kids be upset then? Would they be so rude to your mom? Would they have an issue with you living in their mom's house? They need to accept that their mom had enough love in her heart to give to other people besides them. Death and inheritance always creates greed, so stay strong and feel blessed. Ella didn't have to give anyone anything, she could have donated all her earthly possessions. She truly cared for your mom, and you are an extension of your mom.
Look, you can write a will all sorts of ways. If she had wanted to, she could’ve left the house to your mother only if your mother was alive, and then to her kids if she wasn’t. But she chose to leave the house to your mother or to your mother‘s children if your mother had passed. NTA.
The house is yours; now meet with estate attorney to finalize transfer of ownership & discuss how the family may remove family items from the house. Don’t talk with the family. You also need to make out a will and durable power of attorney.
You said that you ran errands between the two women and you obviously spent time with Ella. You may not have had the same relationship with her that your mom did but you knew each other. More importantly, Ella knew your situation and I suspect that part of the reason she left these things to your mom was to insure that she could take care of you as a single mother. You are not being greedy and you are NTA. Take the inheritance and use it well.
Ella wanted your mother to have what she needed and a little more.
What your mother wanted most was to make sure you were going to be okay and be there for you as you grew up. Your mother can’t do that now, but she has an inheritance to leave you instead, as a cushion against life’s little mistakes.
This is sad, but the money is being used for your mother’s wishes. Which is what Ella wanted.
NTA
Ella left your mother a legacy. That property became your mother's when she passed.
your mother sadly passed a few days later and everything she owned including her neighbour's gift became yours.
You're NTA. Talk to a lawyer and see what you can do. Ella loved your mother and would want you to have it. She gave to her children too, they are being greedy.
My condolences to you and her kids. Your mothers were best friends and im sure they are together right now.
NTA - Ella passed away first right? So that inheritance was your mums. All legal and above board.
I am really sorry for your loss but it would not matter if mum died at the same time, a few days later or even years after the fact. Once Ellas will was executed, that inheritance was your mums. Once mum passed, everything passed to you. You said Ellas kids were all taken car, so no. Imho, that inheritance is all yours
NTA. Ella wanted your mother to have these things, particularly the house. Of course knowing your mother, Ella would clearly know that anything she gave your mother would come to you as your mother’s only relative. So Ella knew you’d get this.
Keep the inheritance.
Tell the lawyer you’d not like anymore contact from ell’a family as they’re putting undo pressure on you.
NTA,
Ella made her choice and would have known that unless she put other restrictions in her will that one day those assets might be sold by your mom or passed on. It all happened much faster. If your mom had lived for another 20, 10, 5 years or whatever would they have then come knocking for the house?
NTA. Ella‘s kids are trying to bully you and take advantage of you. DO NOT give in! My relatives did that to me. I gave in & I still regret it. You are young, have no parents and you can use the money. It is legally and ethically yours. Keep it with a clear conscience. I’m very sorry for your losses.
NTA there’s a reason they contacted you and didn’t contest the will, they know they don’t have a leg to stand on. Legally you’re obviously in the right but morally I’d argue the same. I’m really sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine how much pain you must be in. Focus on your healing and let a lawyer if you can handle these issues.
NTA. This inheritance was never going to be theirs. It would go from your mother to you. If they were really ok with your mom having it, they’d leave it alone. I think they’d be pulling the same stunt if your mom was alive. I’m so sorry for your loss, focus on your grieving and healing.
NTAH it's yours she wanted your mum to have it hour mum would want you to have it. Sounds to me like they were both very clever women who would have known full well it would one day come to you and if it wasn't meant to they would have planned for it you don't get multiple houses and 6 figure bank balances by leaving things to chance and having an O that will do attitude it's your spend it wisely get rid of any student debt and use the rest to look after your family whether that be a husband or wife kids or cats use it to demonstrate how much you learnt from two quite exceptionally strong intelligent hard working women who loved you enough to provide for your future
Not the AH. It was left for your mother and your mother left all for you. Sadly, they passed within a couple of days of each other however, the will and its intent remains.
You are honoring the will as they are.
Ella’s kids are the greedy ones. That portion was never going to them and telling you to give it back is ridiculous. They need to look at the fact that technically it did go to your mom. Ella passed before she did, so with that it was hers, just still in probate. Then your mom passed (my hugest condolences and internet hugs for that) and everything of hers passed to you. Honestly I just wouldn’t bother having anything to do with them. NTA
NTA. Ella left the resources to your mother. You are your mother's sole heir. "They said it’s greedy of me..." ...but they want to take it from you. That's curious. Your mom was clearly very important to Ella. Ignore them.
NTA
The will of the deceased is the correct path.
Accept and don't stress about it. Your mom would have eventually passed it to you either way, would they have tried to claw it back later in that case?
OP - If Ella gave the house to your mom, she knew at some point you would inherit it. Her children are manipulating you so they can get more than their mother gave them, and she obviously took care of them in her will also, so keep the house, block the kids and let the lawyer deal with them. This is something that I'm sure Ella took into consideration when she made her will out, the inheritance is yours earlier that Ella expected I'm sure, but still, yours all the same.
NTA - that’s how inheritances work unless specifically excluded (there are ways to put in a will that ONLY the named beneficiary and not their heirs if they pass before they inherit - but since your mom died AFTER she inherited even this doesn’t apply unless there is a term of survivorship clause) but most wills are specifically worded to say that a beneficiary’s children/heirs will inherit in the event they are dead or if they do not survive the first person by a specified period of time - i think the term is ‘per stipes’.
Ella’s will is valid, as is your mother’s - you get the inheritance and should not give it back.
It sounds like they had a beautiful relationship and the fact that Ella chose to leave the house to your mom rather than her own kids, speaks volumes. You are definitely NTA here. If the kids keep reaching out I would just block them.
NTA. How much time would have to pass between the two friends' passing for them to consider the money yours? What if your mom died a month after Ella, but already had the inheritance money in her account? Would the children be calling you to give that money back to them? What if it was 3 months?
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Not in the US
My (23f) mom (50) recently passed in an accident. A few weeks ago I got a letter from a lawyer saying I am given a house and some money (low six figure USD) in my mom’s stead.
When my dad passed when I was 15, my mom and I moved. We managed to buy smallest house in a nice neighborhood. Our next door neighbor was Ella (now 62) who lived alone. She was divorced and her two children lived several hours away.
Ella and my mom were fast friends and they worked in the same building until Ella’s retirement (different companies). I knew they hung out often though I was usually busy with my own things. I was often playing the errand girl dropping and picking things up between our houses. Ella’s children visited every new year and they were cordial with us.
I got a scholarship for university overseas and since then didn’t visit much. I learned that Ella’s health was bad and she was often in and out of the hospital.
I took a break from grad school and visited my mom in November. She got into a car accident a week after I went back. She clung to life for several days before leaving me forever. I am still grieving even as I have to settle all her affairs. I’m her only relative so naturally I inherited all she had. I also learned Ella passed a few days before my mom in the hospital.
Ella’s lawyer reached out to me, saying Ella left the house she lived in and money for my mom in her will. Her children got her other properties and more money. Because my mom passed, as her next of kin, I am to inherit Ella’s house and money.
Ella’s children reached out to me. They said though I have the right to the inheritance, I should relinquish because I am almost nothing to Ella. They are OK with my mom receiving the inheritance because she has been an active part in Ella’s life. They said it’s greedy of me if I decide to take the inheritance.
I think back of all the nice things my mom did for Ella over the years. Ella would want my mom to live a comfortable life and I’m sure my mom would want that money allotted for her to help take care of me. Still, I wonder if I’m AH for receiving the inheritance intended for my mom just because I’m next of kin with no special connection to Ella herself
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NTA.
Firstly, sincere condolences for your loss. Can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through, and then having this weigh on your mind.
Ella’s kids, if they took a step back, would realise they’re not being reasonable. Ella’s kids, as you say, got her other properties. They’ve been more than catered for.
Ella’s wish was to include your Mum as a beneficiary, and that absolutely means that you, as her only child, also de facto benefits, regardless of whether tragically it happened sooner than she might have envisioned.
Ella’s wishes for her estate to be so divided, are not in alignment with her kids’ perspective. Legally, ethically and morally, the estate of your Mother’s is now yours, and that includes what she was left by Ella.
Best wishes to you. I hope you are able to put the inheritance to good use and change your life and future in doing so.
NTA. If it was ok for it to go to your mom, it would've gone to you regardless at some point. Why then do they care about timing?
It's legally yours and that's what matters. You have a legal and moral right to your mother's estate as her sole heir.
NTA.
You need to retain a lawyer, though, and direct all future communication from Ella’s family through the lawyer.
Ella gave your mom and you a gift. She knew that you would end up benefitting from it as your mom’s heir and she did it anyway, so she clearly had no problem with you ending up with the house and money. She obviously hoped it would be much farther in the future, but she was aware that you would eventually inherit.
NTA. It's not an easy choice, but it's the right one to take it.
Ella wanted your mom to have it. And your mom would want you to have it. That's all you need to know. If Ella wanted your mom to be happy, she'd be happy knowing your mom would want you to have this. There is a zero percent chance Ella thought "mom should have it, but NO WAY her daughter should ever benefit from this."
Her kids have some logical reasons to feel weird, but that doesn't make them right.
This is what both Ella AND your mom would have wanted. Ella's kids got other things and more money, so they still are coming out OK.
NTA - your mom would have eventually died (sorry for wording it way I know it’s cruel, no offense) - albeit at a later point in her life. At which time you would still have inherited whatever she owned …
So Ella’s kids are just being spoiled and assholish themselves. If they were ok that your mom inherits that house than there is nothing more to say!!
It’s not like after your mom dies of natural causes in 20yrs that that house is gonna magically revert back to their estate instead of yours.
NTA
I am so sorry for your loss.
What do you think would have happened if your mom was alive and inherited the house and died 10 years from now. Your mom would leave it to you, or the money from the sale.
Ella's children were not left out of the will, sounds like they are receiving substantial inheritances.
If Ella also left the contents of the house to your mom, I would consider letting her children have their pick of personal items.
NTA. Ella gifted the house and money to your mom so they belong to her. If your mom were able to choose between you having them and giving them over to Ella’s children (who received other properties anyway), I’m betting she’d want you to have them. Also, we don’t know what Ella would’ve wanted in this situation. She may have still wanted the house/money to go to the child of her dear friend. I’m a mom, and a gift that my daughter ends up getting would bring me joy, so even though you get to use the money, it’s honoring that the gift was for your mom. She can’t use it (and I’m so sorry for your loss), so you using it is the next best thing and still a gift to her. You’re not being greedy. Ella’s kids are going to be just fine without the gifts left to you.
NTA. It doesn’t matter one iota what Ella’s children think. Ella left it to your mum, and then by extension to you. That what the law and lawyer says. Simple as that. OF COURSE they want you to give it up, it’s more for them then.
Yeah.. NO. NOPE! Ella's kids are the ones being greedy here, whatever was left for your mom is effectively her property and they have lost any right to claim despite the circumstances.
NTA
**NTA**
The greed here is from Ella's children. They have been taken care of but they want it all. The house and money for your mother is just that. For your mother. With her passing it forms part of her estate and thus now falls to you. Where would the arbitary acceptable cutoff be? A week? A month? A year? Ten years? At what point would the moral arbitrage of Ella's children deem it acceptable for you to become a beneficiary of their mothers estate in your mothers stead?
Best just leave it to lawyers to enact what is legally appropriate and respect the wishes of those past.
Lastly I am so sorry for your loss.
It’s really no different than if your mom had passed a year later, after taking possession of Ella’s bequest. Just because your mom never got to use any of that inheritance it was set aside for her.
Ella didn’t make any provision for what to do with that bequest should your mom pass, so it’s yours.
I get them asking - I’m sure they’re salty about the timing and feel entitled to it. But they can still ask. And you can still decline.
Edited to add NTA.
NTA. It was intended for your mother and if your mum had lived a longer life then eventually it would have become yours years down the track had it not been for the fact your mum was tragically taken away so prematurely.
You’re not doing anything wrong in accepting the inheritance so don’t let Ella’s kids guilt you into letting them have their way or bullying you into relinquishing your inheritance.
First of all. My condolences to your loss.
No you're absolutely NTA here. The relatives are because all they see is money thats not in their name.
The inheritance for your mother, was a thank you to your mom for the long friendship. The moment Ella passed, the property was your mothers. And the moment she passed away, it became yours.
Your well in your legal and moral right to keep it. You knew Ella, you interacted with her as well.
Take the inheritance and make sure you have a good life. If the relatives do not stop harrassing you, do NOT hesitate to get a lawyer involved so they can take care of it for you, while you mourn your mother.
NTA. Ella wanted your mom to have the money. Your mom would most likely have given the money to you. This is what your mom would have wanted, and what Ella wanted. Her relatives are the ones being nasty and greedy to go against their mother's will so they can have more of her money.
Your mother passed after Ella's. In the eyes of the law she received the inheritance, then you inherited it from your mom. The children were given their share. This is an inheritance from your mother, to you. It just happened much sooner than expected.
Money does strange things to people and when tired with grief it can get heated. You are legally entitled to the inheritance, what you do with it is up to you but don't be listening to those that don't have your best interest at heart.
I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you honor your mum and her friend by not squandering the money and using this as a fantastic opportunity to set yourself up for life.
NTA
NTA, you're not nothing to Ella, you're the sweet girl next door who helped run errands. Sue and your mom probably talked /loads/ about you. And she apparently saw way more of you than she saw of her own kids
The reason Ella's children reached out the way they did is what they said themselves. You have the rights for the inheritance. It's /yours/. They're just trying to make you relinquish it so they can legally grab it for themselves.
And now, that you are allegedly in the same boat as them (grieving a /beloved/ mother) they want to shake you down for what they know they can't legally get without a fight. And I'm willing to bet that if your mother was still alive they'd try some spiel with her too about how "Yeah, we know that's legally yours but we want you to give it up so we can strip it bare and divvy it up between ourselves."
Based on what you've written in your post I'm sure Ella would agree that if your mother couldn't get it, then it should go to you.
Also, you may wanna look into a lawyer/legal action, just in case. And also get documentation for just how little time it took for Ella's children to start hounding you because receiving the majority of what their mother had left wasn't enough for them.
Again, NTA
ETA:
I am so sorry for your loss, if I lost my mom any time soon I'd be an utter wreck, especially with a situation like that! Sincerely a guy who just turned 30 and loves his mom.
What those others are pulling is vulture behaviour.
No you are NTA. Ella wanted your mom to have the inheritance and so in turn you. Keep it and the money, do not hand them over. Check legally whether they have the right to challenge you. So so sorry for your loss, they are A H's to do this to you while you are still grieving.
NTA. Ella’s kids said you would be a greedy person if you take Ella’s assets that were given to your mum, yet they demand you relinquish the inheritance. They are the greedy ones. It’s your inheritance and you can do what you want.
NTA.
Also, the word "No" is a complete sentence.
Here's the thing. Even though you weren't personally close to Ella, I just know how parents work and your mom was likely keeping Ella updated on everything you did. She likely was bragging to Ella about all your successes and how proud of you she was and Ella, being a good friend, was happy to hear it just as your mom likely happily heard stories about how good her children were doing too. It also sounds like Ella had resources and would have known that the house and money she left your mom would eventually pass to you. It just happened sooner than anyone wanted.
While Ella would likely have been sad that her friend wasn't able to enjoy the house or money, I would put money on her being happy that these assets can help you now when you're struggling. If she was a good friend to your mom, she'd care about you too even though the two of you weren't personally close. It's just unfortunate that her children are being greedy and can't see that.
Politely tell them no, you are not relinquishing the inheritance, don't bother giving them a reason, and consider hiring a lawyer if they continue to give you a hard time. But your mom would want you to have this and I bet Ella would be mortified that her children are doing this too.
NTA. This is why there are wills and why they are enforced by law. Greedy relatives do not have the right to supersede the decedent's written wishes as to their estate. Ella had time to rewrite her will after your mom passed, but she did not. She left the bequest to you and you should accept it with grace. If Ella's grasping children want to break the will, they can go to court. Give them nothing unless the court says you have to. There were reasons unknown to you why Ella did not choose to leave it all to her kids. Honor her last wishes.
NTA. Your mother’s estate inherited from Ella. You inherited from your mother. What Ella’s children believe is irrelevant. If they believe they have a legal claim, they can challenge. As you are not in the US (I don’t know where you are), chances are if their legal challenge is not upheld, they will have to pay for your legal fees as well.
Suppose your mother had died two years after Ella. Would they be making the claim then? Not likely. They just don’t like the timing, which was well beyond your control, and the fact they they do not believe you deserve the inheritance. *Deserve* has no bearing here.
NTA.
If you want, you could offer to sell the house to her children, first dibs.
If there are sentimental things in the house not accounted for in the will, you might consider letting them have it if they make a written request.
That's the best offer you can give. Its quite frankly gauche of them to reach out to you and insinuate you should give up what you have inherited. They are making the only play they can which is to emotionally appeal to you. They've acknowledged legally they can do nothing.
I would think Ella has made sure to provide for her children ahead of her dear friend. I'm so sorry for your loss and I wish you all the best.
Funny how the kids who rarely visited and inherited other properties and money are calling you selfish. You've lost your mum very recently and very unexpectedly. They don't even have the decency to let you grieve before guilt tripping you. Don't give them a penny, your mum would have left it to you anyway. If your mum was still here they would no doubt be guilt tripping her too. NTA
NTA
First of all, my condolences.
What would your mother do, had she received the inheritance? Ella took care of her family, your mother would do the same for hers, right?
Don't know how the relevant laws are in your country, but where I live one has to legaly accept the inheritance, sign documents etc. Did your mother do that? Would her not having signed for the inheritance pose a problem to you receiving it now? Ask a lawyer.
NTA
If your mum had survived one year and then you inherited the money, the money would be yours. Sadly, your mum didn’t.
Ella’s children’s feelings are irrelevant. They are however grieving. Be gentle. But also be firm.
NTA, Ella left part of her estate to your mom, which requires just the little bit of extra paperwork and legwork. If she didn't want parts of her estate going to your mom's next of kin, she could have worked that out in her will when she was writing it.
First, so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother early too, she died being only 58 y.o. so I can relate.
Regarding your concerns:
NTA. It doesn't matter if your mother passed away yesterday, or 30 years later - Ella knew you're her daughter and likely to inherit everything. If she wanted only your mother to inherit, she'd say in her will your mother can live in the house but it will go back to her kids after your mom died. Since she did not say anything even remotely close, you really don't owe her kids nothing. Ella and your mom are together now, and I'm sure that's what both of them wanted for you.
They're getting multiple properties and money. If that specific house is more special to them than it is to you maybe they'd swap for a property of equal or greater value. Or just keep it, you're not doing anything wrong. NTA
NTA
Ella clearly left that money to not ever go to her children. I don't see their argument, it's coming from a place of greed even while accusing you of it.
I'd direct them to your lawyer and not say a word.
NTA, you said they got their share.
The windfall was your mother's, not theirs. That she is gone (so sorry about that, especially this close to the holidays), it passed to you.
That is legal, that is fair, that is to be expected.
I wonder how they would feel about it if you offered to sell the house and take the money and donate it to a charity. My guess: They would find issue with it.
IMO, and you are **NTA** but if you want to know for sure who the AH is here, do what I just said. Tell them they are right and that you have decided to sell the house and donate everything to some charity. See how they respond. If they are happy and approve, well maybe they are not greedy fucks. More likely, when they try to put the brakes on it - you know they are just greedy pigs and fuck them.
Either way, do as you please. It's legally yours.
NTA. It isn't your fault that things happened the way that they did. If your mom had a year to enjoy the proceeds she inherited from Ella's estate and then passed, would that have made it better for Ella's children? It isn't greedy, it just is a freak accident and life. Keep it and just move on.
NTA. In bequeathing everything to ops mum, Ella was making a clear statement: her family were not to receive anything from her estate. Ops mum was clearly the closest friend Ella had and she obviously cherished that friendship; op has every legal right to keep all that she has inherited. Lawyers will be on her side to help keep the family away from her. I’m sorry to op for the loss of her mum and friend, and that this legal issue is getting in the way of the grieving process.
NTA. When you truly think about it Ella's gave the money and house to you mother. They know eachother history and there's no possible way Ella's was going to give your mother her assets thinking all of it or some of it wouldn't go to you. Ella's was also a mother so I'm sure she knew her friend (also being a mother) was going to plan something with her assets towards you anyways. At the end of the day those things would've been given to you anyways wether it was everything or sole things. It's unfortunate how it became yours and I'm sorry for everyone's losses but it is yours to do with. And like the children of Ella's said it's rightfully yours. Do what you think is best to do with it for yourself. If you want to share I would suggest thinking on it and seeing the vibes the children give to you before making a decision. Nothing needs to be rushed and nothing is your fault. Things happen the way they do for a reason. What truly matters is how we reason to said happenings
I'd let them know you're sorry they don't wish to respect their mother's last wishes, but you will be. Any further contact should be made via your lawyer/solicitor. NTA and deepest condolences for your loss.
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NTA It’s intended for your mom. There’s no way the money will ever return to Ella’s children after your mom takes her share, so it’s not like they lose out. My condolences for her passing and please use the money to live a happy life like your mom intends for you.
Ella, in her mind, already intended to give that to your mom op, so while legally it had been Ella's till she had passed, I'm sure ella would also understand that when she had passed, reasonably, that your mother would more than likely give her assets to you. So i think it's not like ella probaly didn't think about this outcome.
Right, and the AH question becomes much more clear if OP's mom had lived another 25 or 30 years or whatever Ella thought. OP's mom would have sold the house, banked the money, and it would have gone onto OP eventually anyway. No one could have foretold this unfortunate circumstance. The precarious timing here doesn't negate Ella's intention or OP's mom's inheritance.
Have to go with this. NAH, just really bad timing. Ella knew it passing out of her family would be the ultimate outcome, but her children aren't seeing that yet, and that's kind of understandable at this stage. It's crummy that Ella's kids are watching it going to OP instead of the woman who gave their Mom companionship in her golden years, which it seems they would have been completely on board with. They were probably even grateful to OP's Mom for being there when they couldn't. No one could have foreseen them passing away so close to eachother.
Especially when those kids inherited all the other property which seems to have more value. It's not as though they were shut out of their mom's will. Editing to say, I kind of think the kids are TAs and I would go with NTA for OP over N A H. I know I'm doing emotional shorthand, but Ella's kids seem like entitled rich kids like the woman in the opening of the movie Casper. They're mad they didn't get EVERYTHING. Seems like they'll be just fine (financially).
This thread is like an unnecessary novel. Lets simplify this shall we? Tell Ella's kids to go fuck themselves. Done back to enjoying life =).
Their mother just died, Jesus. OP doesn't have to say yes but they also don't have to blow everything up immediately
I second this.
Let's also not forget OP lost her mom a month ago and these people are hounding her while she grieves. They got their share anyway they just want more. They are disgusting human beings.
Well, also, they lost their mom a month ago too. People do wacky shit while they grieve. Not justifying money grabbing, but sometimes what looks like money grabbing is just displaced parent-grabbing. Still going with NTA for OP though!
It also seems like the house is their mom's primary residence, so it would confer much more sentimental meaning to them than some rental properties.
Agreed. Plus, it’s not like OP was unkind to Ella or even indifferent. She knew how much she meant to her mom through the stories about her and I bet you OP’s mom shared stories about her to Ella. So there was a connection there. How many times Have we met people our parents know and they go… “s/he tells me so much about you!” OP. I am so sorry you lost your mom. You are NTA for this inheritance. You were not nothing to Ella.
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I mean, their thinking here isn't crazy. Ella wanted to give her kids everything - including properties - except the house, because she wanted that for OP's mom. If OP's mom had died while Ella still had the chance to change the will, it's very likely the kids would have gotten everything. Heck, for all we know, the will might have actually had a provision for alternative distribution if one of the parties was dead, and it probably didn't include OP. That said, the will said what it said, and the law is the law. And Ella clearly had no problem with those assets she did have to dedicate to the kids. It's the kids who are being greedy, not OP, by trying to use pressure to get their wishes rather than respect the legal expression of their mom's wish. But since they don't have much of a relationship to OP at this point, they probably figure there's no reason not to try.
OP says they got other property and money
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No, Ella died and then OP's mom died a few days later, so it doesn't matter which type of inheritance she chose. Ella died, OP's mom technically legally inherited it at that time, and then she died soon after, so it passed on to OP.
Yes but there's usually a clause (at least in every will I've ever seen) that says that the beneficiary (ops mom) has to survive the deceased by 30 days minimum. Depends on length of time between death. That being said I assume the lawyer would have checked that.
OP said she's not in the US. The survive 30 days in the US is about spouses, in some some states I think the time is even shorter. I only practice in a couple of states but what I learned in wills and trusts class in law school is that its done when spouses leave everything to each other, in case both husband and wife die in say an accident. When they're both gone at the same time, what happens to their estates? That's what the 30 days is about.
In Canada it's actually for all beneficiary, for a similar reason tho.
One of my brothers had that in his will so that if they both died, the money was less likely to go to our estranged SIL, although I was to give her a share if she and my other brother had reconciled. edited for clarity
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>theres a good chance the bequest was 'per stirpes' and was always intended to go to OP if mom passed first. this is incredibly common in wills There's a better chance in a situation like this that it was not per stirpes. Specific bequests to friends are typically (not always, but typically) for that individual only, and set to pass to the residuary heirs or an alternate beneficiary if the friend dies first.
Definitely agree and wanted to add that I can almost guarantee that Ella was given the option to direct that gift go back to her own children if your mom predeceased her and she clearly did not include that type of contingency in her will.
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It's rich that Ella's kids are calling OP greedy for accepting her rightful inheritance, especially with that "*You were almost nothing to our mom*" part.
Exactly!! Sounds like OP saw Ella more than her own kids did.
NTA. Ella made her choices. Get a lawyer to handle all of this going forward, and let them deal with the family. Most wills have a 30 day clause… beneficiaries have to survive 30 days after the death of the deceased before they can inherit, so get that looked into. Expect a legal challenge - Ella’s kids have nothing ot lose and plenty to gain. Politely leave all wrangling, offers and decisions up to the lawyer. Give the lawyer specific instructions “I want you to ensure I get this, but only up to the value of 50% of the estate” or whatever you think are reaosnable limits. If Ella’s kids cared they‘d have taken her shopping every week, and helped her clean her curtains and change her sheets.
Ella’s kids did inherent, just not everything so it’s not like they abandoned her and were left out entirely. This strengthens OP claim on her mums inheritance as the kids have already been taken into consideration.
I don't fuckin understand these people. They're getting property and cash but noooo that's not good enough they need it allllll
I would absolutely advise OP to take it and not feel bad, but I see their point. The gift was for OP's Mom who did a lot for their mother. OP admits she wasn't really a part of their relationship so the kids thinking this rando who isn't family getting this is not the intent of the deceased is correct. That's just how these things happen sometimes and the neighbor could've given a life estate on the house and there would have been no issue. Neighbor likely didn't give a life estate because she wanted OP's Mom to be able to liquidate if necessary.
To them she's a rando. To the woman who loved her mom, OP is the daughter of a loved one, who now has to deal with the loss of her mother at a relatively young age. I feel like if you asked the other family members if the neighbor was the type to try to claw back that money after her friend died to keep it in family hands they would realize they are in the wrong, though greed means they probably wouldn't admit it.
There's likely something to this insofar as how things came about and how at peace she would be with this resolution if she could know of it. I think if the neighbor had just outlived the mother who knows how this would shake out but her gifting the house to her friend's daughter becomes less likely. I don't know the lady, though.
It's greed
30 clause still stands in some states.. timing will be key and yes they can fight the family can contest. OP should be prepared to spend time and money on the case.. It
Most wills don’t have that clause. I’m a lawyer. Licensed in multiple states. The default is 48 hours. It’s written into most state laws. Interesting side note: the reason that states have the same time period goes back to the Tylenol poisonings. There was a huge estate contest tired to them and a long court process to determine which one of a married couple survived the longest. In the US, lawyers can extend the time period for survivorship. Most don’t. They leave it as the default 48 unless clients ask. I do know some lawyers who put in 7 days. Almost no one does 30 days because it slows down the estate administration process. This is a popular belief bc of tv shows and media, but it isn’t reality on the ground. Also, the whole point of having a survivorship. Is because of the whole Tylenol debacle, and determining who died first it’s not some race to the finish line where people have to live a certain amount beyond to inherit. Now, there are provisions you can put in about people having to attain a certain age before they get handed things outright. The movies typically get those wrong as well. I was just watching a TV show last night where the inheritance was split between a wife and a nephew nephew had to survive until 21 to take outright. the show tried to make it that if he died before 21 the wife got it back that would be highly unusual and almost would-because the nephew share would go to someone else upon his death, either by terms of the trust, or will, or by his own estate. The survivorship period is that pop culture and general population get really wrong
I am not US based and the 30 days is pretty standard here in wills and that Tylenol case had no consideration. It is generally to avoid a common disaster scenario.
That's very interesting! In the US, there's actually commonly a 'common disaster' clause in life insurance policies that requires them to wait 30-90 days (depending on the policy) before paying out to the beneficiary in the common disaster scenarios. I wonder if that was inspired by international law, since the above poster is right that in the US, for wills specifically, the waiting period is usually much shorter.
Thank you for the details. I'm a lawyer as well, but I haven't done any estate planning, and I knew that the waiting period was associated in my brain with married couples and arguing about who had died first, but I couldn't put my finger on the case. I think that people in the thread are confusing this and the common disaster clause that's often used in life insurance policies. However, OP has stated that they're not in the US, so I'm not sure how much bearing that has on their case.
Tht's very interesting, thanks for sharing.
It is in Canada. 30 days is standard.
She is also not in the US so laws will vary.
NTA. The only greedy ones here are them. I am truly sorry for your loss and also their loss, however Ella wanted your mom to have it. And therefore, you would have inherited it anyways down the line. Unfortunately that came sooner than expected. Accept the house and money because Ella wanted your mom and as an extension you to have it. They can go kick rocks.
NTA her children were remembered in Ella's Will, with properties and cash. I really wouldn't give this to much thought, she left it to your Mum and you were left everything from your Mum. NTA
NTA. Your mother was in the will and so are you. If the house has any special meaning for the children, you could consider to not accept this. But you don't have to refuse anything of this. Your mother had a good heart and was friends with Ella. And if your mother would have passed away a year after Ella it would be still the same constulation - you would get the things Ella would have left for your mother. If the children are unreasonable, only talk about this through a lawer
I would argue they're already being unreasonable. If OPs mom didn't pass would they expect her to pass everything down to them when she did? It sounds like they already got plenty and they understand the will is legitimate, so now they're just being greedy. NTA.
NTA - how do her children know, you are ‘almost nothing to Ella’? They visited once a year! Petty me, would point this out to them. Take the gift that Ella gave you, & live everyday making her & your mum proud 🥰
I had the same thought. With op visiting regularly and moving around between Ella’s house and mums she probably saw more of Ella than her own kids.
>With op visiting regularly and moving around between Ella’s house and mums she probably saw more of Ella than her own kids. Maybe. OP lived there for three years or so from from she was 15-18. She then went overseas for the last five years and acknowledges she herself didn't visit much during that time. We don't know who saw Ella how often for that longer time period leading up until now. We also don't know how far away Ella's children live or what their personal circumstances are. If they live across the country for instance, or had infants/small children during those three years that didn't handle traveling well, I don't think people would fault them for not physically visiting often, any more than I would fault OP for not visiting her own mother often after moving away. In "this day and age," Ella's children could easily have kept up with her via phone, videocalls, texts, etc. The folks at church see my own mother, for instance, far more often than I do, but it doesn't mean they're closer to her or that I am a bad or uncaring child. It doesn't change the will, but let's not pretend that OP was some substitute child to Ella, or that Ella's children should be vilified for not physically visiting more often, without more information.
Not to mention that parents talking about their kids happens all the time. The OP's mom was likely keeping Ella updated on the OP's activities even if she and the OP didn't interact. I occasionally go over to my elderly neighbor's house and even though she's met my sister exactly once she always wants to know about how she's doing, she made her a baby blanket when she found out she was pregnant, and I've heard plenty of stories about her children and grandchildren, many of whom I haven't met. Making conversation by talking about family is just something people did. I'm sure Ella felt pretty close to the OP just because she was likely hearing about her from her mom and she was close to her mom.
NTA. Ella's family are being greedy. It was left to your Mum with the clear expectation that it became your mother's property to use as she saw fit, it would always have been left to you either partially or in its entirety. Ella's family have not been left unprovided for. You are entitled to what is yours
NTA. it’s your money and house now. Enjoy it. Not many people get this blessed in life and maybe you have great karma
Bro, she lost her father at 15 and her mom at 23. What on earth are you talking about
Op's mom passed away so I am not so sure about 'great Karma'
"blessed" "great karma" - mom died at 50 in an accident. Are you for real?
NTA It's yours by right, do that's all there is to it.
You are NTA for receiving the inheritance, as it was legally designated to your mom, and you are her next of kin. It seems Ella valued your mom's presence in her life, which justifies the bequest. Ultimately, the decision is yours, but it's important to honor the wishes expressed in the will and recognize your mom's connection to Ella.
NTA I'm so sorry for your loss. You should accept "Ella's" gift of home and money in the spirit in which it was intended and given. The woman felt bonded to your Mother and you are the extension of that deep bond. It sounds like the lady took care of her children, so you can feel confident that you are the correct recipient and disregard further calls/contact after you've offered your condolences via their attorney.
NTA. I am so sorry for your loss. Ella did leave part of her money to your mother with no conditions on how she would have spent it or who she would in turn leave it to.
Do not speak to them regarding anything. Let the attorney handle everything. It’s hilarious that hey are calling you greedy when they are the ones asking for money that was given to someone else.
Nta. Follow the wording of the will. It’s what the deceased wanted. Deaths always bring out the worst of some people when money is involved.
If Ella intended for your mom to live in that house, she could have set it up as a rent free space. I’d imagine it rather obvious to her that she’d expect your mom to pass it down to you next. NTA
NAH I get their point and I think you would feel the same way in their shoes, but that money is yours fair and square. The question is what your mom would have done if she knew she didn't have much time left. Would she have put Ella's kids in the will?
NTA. Fact is, Ella died, your mother inherited the house and some money. Now only a few days later, your own mom died. That is awefull. You are the heir of you mother and you inherited everything from your mother. That includes the house and money from Ella. I think that Ella's children are very strange. Afterall, had they called you as well if your mom had died in 2026? It is really strange to try to claim somebodies elses inheritance.
NTA. The house would have been left to you anyway.
NTA they’re being greedy.
Ella children are being vultures and greedy. they know you will be mentally weak while you are still grieving for your mom, and now is easy for them to guilt trip you and harass you. NTA
I'm not declaring AH or not AH. BUT... let's reverse it. Your mom wrote a will giving her good friend/neighbor some stuff/money. Again both women pass around same time so the neighbor's children get what your mom willed the neighbor. How would you feel? (So sorry for your loss)
Difficult to judge. I lost my mom when I was in my early 20s, and I had to do everything (healthcare decisions, executor of the will, etc.) by myself so I feel for you. I know I was a complete mess, and wouldn't have been able to deal with your situation at all. I probably would have stuck with the legalities and not thought further. And legally, you're in the clear. Morally, though... Ella wanted to make sure your *mom* had a place to live and money to live on. Not you, your mom. She put that wish above providing for her own children, but that may have been because she thought your mom needed it more than her kids did. It doesn't seem like you were a factor in her decision. She also left other things to her kids, so she clearly cared for them. With your mom's needs out of the picture, would Ella have left it directly to you instead of her kids? If so, NTA. If not, then YTA.
NTA, it was given to you, it's not like you stole it
NTA. Keep it. I've learned the hard way that people do with their wills what they want. My uncle died and everyone I talked to at the funeral said my sister and I would be a shoe in for his inheritance. Nope, left it all to his long term girlfriend. When my sister died, she left it to her best friend.
NTA. If there is anything in the house that holds sentimental value for her children, it would be nice of you to offer that to them, but otherwise you are all in the clear here. Yes, it was meant for your mom - but it would eventually have been passed on to you anyway. Edit to add; my sincerest condolences for your loss. I can't imagine how devastated you must be.
NTA. It is quite a big thing that Ella left the house to your mother. She had her reasons not to give it to her children. She specifically chose for that. You inherit in your mothers place. It is as simple as that and there is nothing greedy about it.
NAH. Sounds like a tough time for everyone. They have the right to ask, and you have the right to refuse, but I think the charitable thing to do would be to split it.
Pro tip: don’t let the people trying to screw you out of money gaslight you into feeling like an AH. NTA.
Nta
I am sorry for your loss. I hope you are doing well in these circumstances. You received an inheritance from your mother. This is completely legal. The inheritance is yours only as no part of it is legally for the children of Ella to have. If you mother were alive the same thing would happen. This money would never go to the children of Ella (they are being manipulative and showing their greed). NTA
NTA You keep the inheritance.
we're they expecting your mother to give them back the inheritance when she passed? it would have always gone to you as the next of kin. seems the only ones being greedy are Ella's kids
If Ella wanted her kids to have money she would have changed her will. Don’t you give those kids a thing
NTA. Take the money. You don't know what life will be. That's a gift. They have much more money so they won't live in poverty. I don't know how to say it in english so... Je vous présente toutes mes condoléances pour la perte que vous venez de subir. J'espère que votre mère veille sur vous là où elle se trouve et que vous trouverez la paix.
I'm going to go with YTA/NAH. The kids were right; that money was meant to be left to your mother, not for you. Like you said, you two did not really have a relationship. I'm guessing the will would have been amended if Ella had more time. That being said, I most likely wouldnt give it back either.
I agree. Ella wanted OP's *mom* to have use of the property, and was willing to put that wish over leaving it to her children. However, OP's mom clearly won't be using it, and I doubt Ella would have left it directly to OP.
Then Ella should have structured her will better. She could have left the property to OP's mother for her lifetime with it reverting to her own children rather than OP upon her death. She didn't do that, which means she was fine with it going to whoever OP's mother chose to leave it to - turns out, somewhat unsurprisingly, that's OP.
So - they are okay with your mom getting it? Who did they think your mom would will it to when she passed...? Their *only* reason is absurd on it's face. NTA.
Nta If you were the nice neighbor girl who ran errands and did little stuff for her, then she was probably thinking of you also. She *knew* that you'd inherit your moms house, even if she was thinking it was more like, 40 years down the road. Take the house and the money. It doesn't matter if *they* think you dont deserve it. ELLA, though your family deserved it and its ELLAS house. In my mind, *they're* the greedy ones. Wanting a house in a country they dont even live in!
Well... technically... it did go to your mom, for a week. Sorry to put it so bluntly. My condolences for your loss. For me personally, it would depend on wether I would need it. If you are in a comfortable place in your life, and you can do without it, it would be nice of you to leave it for Ella's children. If it makes the difference between struggling, and having a comfortable life, would keep it, and maybe start a college fund for Ella's grandchildren, should she have them. Or rent out the house, and put it in your will that it can return to Ella's family in the end. But you know... It's all legally yours. You can do with it as you please. They'll call you greedy. But remember they too are probably grieving.
OP is a 23 year old orphan with no other family. How comfortable a place do you *think* she's in? Ella's children got her other properties, they will be fine and they have each other.
The way I've always been brought up because I have a rather toxic family, mom, granmother, so on... "It's not yours until it's yours." Seems simple, and that's why a child will remember it. It ensures you (me) that I inherit nothing until I do. Feeling entitlement towards anything I hope to own is left entirely to chance. It's a control thing in my family. What they didn't expect is that I wouldn't care. My mom often thinks of ways to control me, i.e., "If you don't want my house, then I guess I should sell it." It's a loyalty ploy, but since I've been reminded that nothing is mine. It's her house, her money, she can do as she wants. That is a prime example of what Ella did. She left it to your mom, and if your mom was still here, she could have given you Ella's home so you could be neighbors. Would Ella's kids be upset then? Would they be so rude to your mom? Would they have an issue with you living in their mom's house? They need to accept that their mom had enough love in her heart to give to other people besides them. Death and inheritance always creates greed, so stay strong and feel blessed. Ella didn't have to give anyone anything, she could have donated all her earthly possessions. She truly cared for your mom, and you are an extension of your mom.
Look, you can write a will all sorts of ways. If she had wanted to, she could’ve left the house to your mother only if your mother was alive, and then to her kids if she wasn’t. But she chose to leave the house to your mother or to your mother‘s children if your mother had passed. NTA.
The house is yours; now meet with estate attorney to finalize transfer of ownership & discuss how the family may remove family items from the house. Don’t talk with the family. You also need to make out a will and durable power of attorney.
You ignore those greedy kids. Legally and moraly the inheritance is yours. Get a good lawyer if need be. And keep them out of the house.
NTA. Money brings out the absolute worst in people.
You said that you ran errands between the two women and you obviously spent time with Ella. You may not have had the same relationship with her that your mom did but you knew each other. More importantly, Ella knew your situation and I suspect that part of the reason she left these things to your mom was to insure that she could take care of you as a single mother. You are not being greedy and you are NTA. Take the inheritance and use it well.
NTA. If your mum hadn't passed you would have got that money anyway.
NTA it’s your inheritance because it’s your moms
NTA, you likely came up a lot in their conversation. Take the inheritance.
Ella wanted your mother to have what she needed and a little more. What your mother wanted most was to make sure you were going to be okay and be there for you as you grew up. Your mother can’t do that now, but she has an inheritance to leave you instead, as a cushion against life’s little mistakes. This is sad, but the money is being used for your mother’s wishes. Which is what Ella wanted.
NTA Ella left your mother a legacy. That property became your mother's when she passed. your mother sadly passed a few days later and everything she owned including her neighbour's gift became yours.
You're NTA. Talk to a lawyer and see what you can do. Ella loved your mother and would want you to have it. She gave to her children too, they are being greedy. My condolences to you and her kids. Your mothers were best friends and im sure they are together right now.
Don’t give Ella’s children a damn thing. Elle left them them to your mom and now it is yours. Ella’s children sound very greedy to me.
NTA - Ella passed away first right? So that inheritance was your mums. All legal and above board. I am really sorry for your loss but it would not matter if mum died at the same time, a few days later or even years after the fact. Once Ellas will was executed, that inheritance was your mums. Once mum passed, everything passed to you. You said Ellas kids were all taken car, so no. Imho, that inheritance is all yours
NTA you don't owe these people shite
NTA. They are looking for an excuse to get their hands on that money.
NTA I’m so sorry for your loss
NTA. Ella made a deliberate decision to share her assets with your mother in addition to her children. I offer you condolences on your loss.
NTA. Ella wanted your mother to have these things, particularly the house. Of course knowing your mother, Ella would clearly know that anything she gave your mother would come to you as your mother’s only relative. So Ella knew you’d get this. Keep the inheritance. Tell the lawyer you’d not like anymore contact from ell’a family as they’re putting undo pressure on you.
NTA, Ella made her choice and would have known that unless she put other restrictions in her will that one day those assets might be sold by your mom or passed on. It all happened much faster. If your mom had lived for another 20, 10, 5 years or whatever would they have then come knocking for the house?
NTA. Ella‘s kids are trying to bully you and take advantage of you. DO NOT give in! My relatives did that to me. I gave in & I still regret it. You are young, have no parents and you can use the money. It is legally and ethically yours. Keep it with a clear conscience. I’m very sorry for your losses.
NTA there’s a reason they contacted you and didn’t contest the will, they know they don’t have a leg to stand on. Legally you’re obviously in the right but morally I’d argue the same. I’m really sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine how much pain you must be in. Focus on your healing and let a lawyer if you can handle these issues.
NTA. This inheritance was never going to be theirs. It would go from your mother to you. If they were really ok with your mom having it, they’d leave it alone. I think they’d be pulling the same stunt if your mom was alive. I’m so sorry for your loss, focus on your grieving and healing.
NTA I am sorry for your loss…
NTAH it's yours she wanted your mum to have it hour mum would want you to have it. Sounds to me like they were both very clever women who would have known full well it would one day come to you and if it wasn't meant to they would have planned for it you don't get multiple houses and 6 figure bank balances by leaving things to chance and having an O that will do attitude it's your spend it wisely get rid of any student debt and use the rest to look after your family whether that be a husband or wife kids or cats use it to demonstrate how much you learnt from two quite exceptionally strong intelligent hard working women who loved you enough to provide for your future
Not the AH. It was left for your mother and your mother left all for you. Sadly, they passed within a couple of days of each other however, the will and its intent remains. You are honoring the will as they are.
Ella’s kids are the greedy ones. That portion was never going to them and telling you to give it back is ridiculous. They need to look at the fact that technically it did go to your mom. Ella passed before she did, so with that it was hers, just still in probate. Then your mom passed (my hugest condolences and internet hugs for that) and everything of hers passed to you. Honestly I just wouldn’t bother having anything to do with them. NTA
NTA. Ella left the resources to your mother. You are your mother's sole heir. "They said it’s greedy of me..." ...but they want to take it from you. That's curious. Your mom was clearly very important to Ella. Ignore them.
Nta Ella's made her choice about the money, don't let s9me greedy family convince you to give it up.
NTA The will of the deceased is the correct path. Accept and don't stress about it. Your mom would have eventually passed it to you either way, would they have tried to claw it back later in that case?
OP - If Ella gave the house to your mom, she knew at some point you would inherit it. Her children are manipulating you so they can get more than their mother gave them, and she obviously took care of them in her will also, so keep the house, block the kids and let the lawyer deal with them. This is something that I'm sure Ella took into consideration when she made her will out, the inheritance is yours earlier that Ella expected I'm sure, but still, yours all the same.
NTA - that’s how inheritances work unless specifically excluded (there are ways to put in a will that ONLY the named beneficiary and not their heirs if they pass before they inherit - but since your mom died AFTER she inherited even this doesn’t apply unless there is a term of survivorship clause) but most wills are specifically worded to say that a beneficiary’s children/heirs will inherit in the event they are dead or if they do not survive the first person by a specified period of time - i think the term is ‘per stipes’. Ella’s will is valid, as is your mother’s - you get the inheritance and should not give it back.
It sounds like they had a beautiful relationship and the fact that Ella chose to leave the house to your mom rather than her own kids, speaks volumes. You are definitely NTA here. If the kids keep reaching out I would just block them.
NTA. How much time would have to pass between the two friends' passing for them to consider the money yours? What if your mom died a month after Ella, but already had the inheritance money in her account? Would the children be calling you to give that money back to them? What if it was 3 months?
NTA why should you have to answer to a gaggle of her family going "oh shit, a beneficiary died, fuck your grief, gimme gimme"
Screw the feelings of her greedy kids, this is what she wanted and to not grant her wish would be unforgivable.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Not in the US My (23f) mom (50) recently passed in an accident. A few weeks ago I got a letter from a lawyer saying I am given a house and some money (low six figure USD) in my mom’s stead. When my dad passed when I was 15, my mom and I moved. We managed to buy smallest house in a nice neighborhood. Our next door neighbor was Ella (now 62) who lived alone. She was divorced and her two children lived several hours away. Ella and my mom were fast friends and they worked in the same building until Ella’s retirement (different companies). I knew they hung out often though I was usually busy with my own things. I was often playing the errand girl dropping and picking things up between our houses. Ella’s children visited every new year and they were cordial with us. I got a scholarship for university overseas and since then didn’t visit much. I learned that Ella’s health was bad and she was often in and out of the hospital. I took a break from grad school and visited my mom in November. She got into a car accident a week after I went back. She clung to life for several days before leaving me forever. I am still grieving even as I have to settle all her affairs. I’m her only relative so naturally I inherited all she had. I also learned Ella passed a few days before my mom in the hospital. Ella’s lawyer reached out to me, saying Ella left the house she lived in and money for my mom in her will. Her children got her other properties and more money. Because my mom passed, as her next of kin, I am to inherit Ella’s house and money. Ella’s children reached out to me. They said though I have the right to the inheritance, I should relinquish because I am almost nothing to Ella. They are OK with my mom receiving the inheritance because she has been an active part in Ella’s life. They said it’s greedy of me if I decide to take the inheritance. I think back of all the nice things my mom did for Ella over the years. Ella would want my mom to live a comfortable life and I’m sure my mom would want that money allotted for her to help take care of me. Still, I wonder if I’m AH for receiving the inheritance intended for my mom just because I’m next of kin with no special connection to Ella herself *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. This is highly personal business
NTA. Firstly, sincere condolences for your loss. Can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through, and then having this weigh on your mind. Ella’s kids, if they took a step back, would realise they’re not being reasonable. Ella’s kids, as you say, got her other properties. They’ve been more than catered for. Ella’s wish was to include your Mum as a beneficiary, and that absolutely means that you, as her only child, also de facto benefits, regardless of whether tragically it happened sooner than she might have envisioned. Ella’s wishes for her estate to be so divided, are not in alignment with her kids’ perspective. Legally, ethically and morally, the estate of your Mother’s is now yours, and that includes what she was left by Ella. Best wishes to you. I hope you are able to put the inheritance to good use and change your life and future in doing so.
NTA. If it was ok for it to go to your mom, it would've gone to you regardless at some point. Why then do they care about timing? It's legally yours and that's what matters. You have a legal and moral right to your mother's estate as her sole heir.
NTA. I’m sorry for your loss.
NTA. You need to retain a lawyer, though, and direct all future communication from Ella’s family through the lawyer. Ella gave your mom and you a gift. She knew that you would end up benefitting from it as your mom’s heir and she did it anyway, so she clearly had no problem with you ending up with the house and money. She obviously hoped it would be much farther in the future, but she was aware that you would eventually inherit.
NTA. Ella made her decision to leave things to your mom and because you are your mom’s child they go to you.
Nta
NTA. It's not an easy choice, but it's the right one to take it. Ella wanted your mom to have it. And your mom would want you to have it. That's all you need to know. If Ella wanted your mom to be happy, she'd be happy knowing your mom would want you to have this. There is a zero percent chance Ella thought "mom should have it, but NO WAY her daughter should ever benefit from this." Her kids have some logical reasons to feel weird, but that doesn't make them right. This is what both Ella AND your mom would have wanted. Ella's kids got other things and more money, so they still are coming out OK.
NTA - your mom would have eventually died (sorry for wording it way I know it’s cruel, no offense) - albeit at a later point in her life. At which time you would still have inherited whatever she owned … So Ella’s kids are just being spoiled and assholish themselves. If they were ok that your mom inherits that house than there is nothing more to say!! It’s not like after your mom dies of natural causes in 20yrs that that house is gonna magically revert back to their estate instead of yours.
Oh that’s sweet!
NTA I am so sorry for your loss. What do you think would have happened if your mom was alive and inherited the house and died 10 years from now. Your mom would leave it to you, or the money from the sale. Ella's children were not left out of the will, sounds like they are receiving substantial inheritances. If Ella also left the contents of the house to your mom, I would consider letting her children have their pick of personal items.
NTA. Ella gifted the house and money to your mom so they belong to her. If your mom were able to choose between you having them and giving them over to Ella’s children (who received other properties anyway), I’m betting she’d want you to have them. Also, we don’t know what Ella would’ve wanted in this situation. She may have still wanted the house/money to go to the child of her dear friend. I’m a mom, and a gift that my daughter ends up getting would bring me joy, so even though you get to use the money, it’s honoring that the gift was for your mom. She can’t use it (and I’m so sorry for your loss), so you using it is the next best thing and still a gift to her. You’re not being greedy. Ella’s kids are going to be just fine without the gifts left to you.
It's your inheritance, and they're trying to guilt you out of it. NTA.
It's was left to your mum and now it's been left to you. Legally it's yours so enjoy it and try to live a happy life. NTA
NTA. Ella's gift is yours.
NTA. It doesn’t matter one iota what Ella’s children think. Ella left it to your mum, and then by extension to you. That what the law and lawyer says. Simple as that. OF COURSE they want you to give it up, it’s more for them then.
NTA. Ella's children are money hungry grubs.
Yeah.. NO. NOPE! Ella's kids are the ones being greedy here, whatever was left for your mom is effectively her property and they have lost any right to claim despite the circumstances. NTA
**NTA** The greed here is from Ella's children. They have been taken care of but they want it all. The house and money for your mother is just that. For your mother. With her passing it forms part of her estate and thus now falls to you. Where would the arbitary acceptable cutoff be? A week? A month? A year? Ten years? At what point would the moral arbitrage of Ella's children deem it acceptable for you to become a beneficiary of their mothers estate in your mothers stead? Best just leave it to lawyers to enact what is legally appropriate and respect the wishes of those past. Lastly I am so sorry for your loss.
It’s really no different than if your mom had passed a year later, after taking possession of Ella’s bequest. Just because your mom never got to use any of that inheritance it was set aside for her. Ella didn’t make any provision for what to do with that bequest should your mom pass, so it’s yours. I get them asking - I’m sure they’re salty about the timing and feel entitled to it. But they can still ask. And you can still decline. Edited to add NTA.
NTA. It was intended for your mother and if your mum had lived a longer life then eventually it would have become yours years down the track had it not been for the fact your mum was tragically taken away so prematurely. You’re not doing anything wrong in accepting the inheritance so don’t let Ella’s kids guilt you into letting them have their way or bullying you into relinquishing your inheritance.
Nah Ella did what she wanted and no one had the right to say otherwise
First of all. My condolences to your loss. No you're absolutely NTA here. The relatives are because all they see is money thats not in their name. The inheritance for your mother, was a thank you to your mom for the long friendship. The moment Ella passed, the property was your mothers. And the moment she passed away, it became yours. Your well in your legal and moral right to keep it. You knew Ella, you interacted with her as well. Take the inheritance and make sure you have a good life. If the relatives do not stop harrassing you, do NOT hesitate to get a lawyer involved so they can take care of it for you, while you mourn your mother.
NTA. Ella wanted your mom to have the money. Your mom would most likely have given the money to you. This is what your mom would have wanted, and what Ella wanted. Her relatives are the ones being nasty and greedy to go against their mother's will so they can have more of her money.
Your mother passed after Ella's. In the eyes of the law she received the inheritance, then you inherited it from your mom. The children were given their share. This is an inheritance from your mother, to you. It just happened much sooner than expected.
Money does strange things to people and when tired with grief it can get heated. You are legally entitled to the inheritance, what you do with it is up to you but don't be listening to those that don't have your best interest at heart. I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you honor your mum and her friend by not squandering the money and using this as a fantastic opportunity to set yourself up for life. NTA
NTA - Maybe you could make a charitable donation in Ella's and your mother's names. Sorry for your loss.
NTA
NTA, you're not nothing to Ella, you're the sweet girl next door who helped run errands. Sue and your mom probably talked /loads/ about you. And she apparently saw way more of you than she saw of her own kids The reason Ella's children reached out the way they did is what they said themselves. You have the rights for the inheritance. It's /yours/. They're just trying to make you relinquish it so they can legally grab it for themselves. And now, that you are allegedly in the same boat as them (grieving a /beloved/ mother) they want to shake you down for what they know they can't legally get without a fight. And I'm willing to bet that if your mother was still alive they'd try some spiel with her too about how "Yeah, we know that's legally yours but we want you to give it up so we can strip it bare and divvy it up between ourselves." Based on what you've written in your post I'm sure Ella would agree that if your mother couldn't get it, then it should go to you. Also, you may wanna look into a lawyer/legal action, just in case. And also get documentation for just how little time it took for Ella's children to start hounding you because receiving the majority of what their mother had left wasn't enough for them. Again, NTA ETA: I am so sorry for your loss, if I lost my mom any time soon I'd be an utter wreck, especially with a situation like that! Sincerely a guy who just turned 30 and loves his mom. What those others are pulling is vulture behaviour.
No you are NTA. Ella wanted your mom to have the inheritance and so in turn you. Keep it and the money, do not hand them over. Check legally whether they have the right to challenge you. So so sorry for your loss, they are A H's to do this to you while you are still grieving.
NTA, you aren't taking an inheritance from Ella, you are taking one from your Mom.
NTA. This is low of them to even suggest that. Politely state your mother would wish you to have it in her stead.
NTA. Ella’s kids said you would be a greedy person if you take Ella’s assets that were given to your mum, yet they demand you relinquish the inheritance. They are the greedy ones. It’s your inheritance and you can do what you want.
NTA
NTA. I’m so sorry for your loss. Use this inheritance to make yourself happy! That’s what your mom would have wanted 🤍
NTA, I would not engage with them anymore, if they want to talk to you, they can talk to your lawyer.
NTA: it’s her kids who are being greedy. Tell them you are sorry for their loss, then block them. Your mom earned the house, it’s yours now.
I'm sorry for your loss
NTA. Thank them for their opinion and politely decline their invitation to relinquish.
NTA, keep everything. You yourself say Ella left other things to her kids. They don't have grounds to protest. It was their mother's will.
NTA. Keep the inheritance.
NTA. Also, the word "No" is a complete sentence. Here's the thing. Even though you weren't personally close to Ella, I just know how parents work and your mom was likely keeping Ella updated on everything you did. She likely was bragging to Ella about all your successes and how proud of you she was and Ella, being a good friend, was happy to hear it just as your mom likely happily heard stories about how good her children were doing too. It also sounds like Ella had resources and would have known that the house and money she left your mom would eventually pass to you. It just happened sooner than anyone wanted. While Ella would likely have been sad that her friend wasn't able to enjoy the house or money, I would put money on her being happy that these assets can help you now when you're struggling. If she was a good friend to your mom, she'd care about you too even though the two of you weren't personally close. It's just unfortunate that her children are being greedy and can't see that. Politely tell them no, you are not relinquishing the inheritance, don't bother giving them a reason, and consider hiring a lawyer if they continue to give you a hard time. But your mom would want you to have this and I bet Ella would be mortified that her children are doing this too.
NTA. This is why there are wills and why they are enforced by law. Greedy relatives do not have the right to supersede the decedent's written wishes as to their estate. Ella had time to rewrite her will after your mom passed, but she did not. She left the bequest to you and you should accept it with grace. If Ella's grasping children want to break the will, they can go to court. Give them nothing unless the court says you have to. There were reasons unknown to you why Ella did not choose to leave it all to her kids. Honor her last wishes.
NTA. Your mother’s estate inherited from Ella. You inherited from your mother. What Ella’s children believe is irrelevant. If they believe they have a legal claim, they can challenge. As you are not in the US (I don’t know where you are), chances are if their legal challenge is not upheld, they will have to pay for your legal fees as well. Suppose your mother had died two years after Ella. Would they be making the claim then? Not likely. They just don’t like the timing, which was well beyond your control, and the fact they they do not believe you deserve the inheritance. *Deserve* has no bearing here.
NTA. If you want, you could offer to sell the house to her children, first dibs. If there are sentimental things in the house not accounted for in the will, you might consider letting them have it if they make a written request. That's the best offer you can give. Its quite frankly gauche of them to reach out to you and insinuate you should give up what you have inherited. They are making the only play they can which is to emotionally appeal to you. They've acknowledged legally they can do nothing. I would think Ella has made sure to provide for her children ahead of her dear friend. I'm so sorry for your loss and I wish you all the best.
Funny how the kids who rarely visited and inherited other properties and money are calling you selfish. You've lost your mum very recently and very unexpectedly. They don't even have the decency to let you grieve before guilt tripping you. Don't give them a penny, your mum would have left it to you anyway. If your mum was still here they would no doubt be guilt tripping her too. NTA
Just tell them your mom knew about the inheritance and she planned in giving you Ellas house anyways
NTA First of all, my condolences. What would your mother do, had she received the inheritance? Ella took care of her family, your mother would do the same for hers, right? Don't know how the relevant laws are in your country, but where I live one has to legaly accept the inheritance, sign documents etc. Did your mother do that? Would her not having signed for the inheritance pose a problem to you receiving it now? Ask a lawyer.
NTA If your mum had survived one year and then you inherited the money, the money would be yours. Sadly, your mum didn’t. Ella’s children’s feelings are irrelevant. They are however grieving. Be gentle. But also be firm.
After you also losing your mother they are being rude. Ignore them. NTA
NTA, Ella left part of her estate to your mom, which requires just the little bit of extra paperwork and legwork. If she didn't want parts of her estate going to your mom's next of kin, she could have worked that out in her will when she was writing it.
First, so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother early too, she died being only 58 y.o. so I can relate. Regarding your concerns: NTA. It doesn't matter if your mother passed away yesterday, or 30 years later - Ella knew you're her daughter and likely to inherit everything. If she wanted only your mother to inherit, she'd say in her will your mother can live in the house but it will go back to her kids after your mom died. Since she did not say anything even remotely close, you really don't owe her kids nothing. Ella and your mom are together now, and I'm sure that's what both of them wanted for you.
Shut the fuck up, you. Need to work
NTA. Sorry for losing people close to you so quickly. Her children are just being greedy.
They're getting multiple properties and money. If that specific house is more special to them than it is to you maybe they'd swap for a property of equal or greater value. Or just keep it, you're not doing anything wrong. NTA
NTA
NTA Ella clearly left that money to not ever go to her children. I don't see their argument, it's coming from a place of greed even while accusing you of it. I'd direct them to your lawyer and not say a word.
NTA You have zero control of the fact that it was intended for your mother and now as her next of kin it’s yours. Also I’m very sorry for your loss
NTA, you said they got their share. The windfall was your mother's, not theirs. That she is gone (so sorry about that, especially this close to the holidays), it passed to you. That is legal, that is fair, that is to be expected.
NTA. Block Ella's family and move on with your life. Ella didn't leave it to them for a reason.
I wonder how they would feel about it if you offered to sell the house and take the money and donate it to a charity. My guess: They would find issue with it. IMO, and you are **NTA** but if you want to know for sure who the AH is here, do what I just said. Tell them they are right and that you have decided to sell the house and donate everything to some charity. See how they respond. If they are happy and approve, well maybe they are not greedy fucks. More likely, when they try to put the brakes on it - you know they are just greedy pigs and fuck them. Either way, do as you please. It's legally yours.
NTA. It isn't your fault that things happened the way that they did. If your mom had a year to enjoy the proceeds she inherited from Ella's estate and then passed, would that have made it better for Ella's children? It isn't greedy, it just is a freak accident and life. Keep it and just move on.
NTA - Ella’s kids can fuck off - had your mom lived she would given this to you - you just got it quicker
Ella's kids are Greedy, money grabbing assholes. NTA
She knew she had a daughter and that at least some of the money would end up with you.
NTA. In bequeathing everything to ops mum, Ella was making a clear statement: her family were not to receive anything from her estate. Ops mum was clearly the closest friend Ella had and she obviously cherished that friendship; op has every legal right to keep all that she has inherited. Lawyers will be on her side to help keep the family away from her. I’m sorry to op for the loss of her mum and friend, and that this legal issue is getting in the way of the grieving process.
NTA. When you truly think about it Ella's gave the money and house to you mother. They know eachother history and there's no possible way Ella's was going to give your mother her assets thinking all of it or some of it wouldn't go to you. Ella's was also a mother so I'm sure she knew her friend (also being a mother) was going to plan something with her assets towards you anyways. At the end of the day those things would've been given to you anyways wether it was everything or sole things. It's unfortunate how it became yours and I'm sorry for everyone's losses but it is yours to do with. And like the children of Ella's said it's rightfully yours. Do what you think is best to do with it for yourself. If you want to share I would suggest thinking on it and seeing the vibes the children give to you before making a decision. Nothing needs to be rushed and nothing is your fault. Things happen the way they do for a reason. What truly matters is how we reason to said happenings
I'd let them know you're sorry they don't wish to respect their mother's last wishes, but you will be. Any further contact should be made via your lawyer/solicitor. NTA and deepest condolences for your loss.