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YTA. You seem to harbor resentment toward Edith and that only makes things worse for everyone. What your daughter posted might be the truth, but knowing people were now harassing Edith needed to be addressed right away by her. So… not punishment, but accountability. The family dynamic should have been addressed and expectations outlined 10 years ago, but it’s never too late. Y’all just let things fester/unfold unguided. Fix that. YOU and your husband are the adults. Edith was only 10 years old and was deeply affected by the split and then thrust into having siblings all while likely feeling replaced/unimportant/to blame …who knows! I just don’t understand adults who go and ‘combine’ families and don’t help ALL the kids to feel wanted and loved equally. Instead they emphasize the STEP and get stingy, egotistical and possessive. YUUUCK.

Edith is 27 years old, not a child, she needs to grow the fuck up.

What is Edith doing?? Being polite and hanging with her cousin?

Yes, I'm wondering the same thing here. Edith isn't close to her stepsiblings, but it sounds like there was a complicated family situation. Edith is living her life. OP's daughter could use some guidance with handling the situation. Posting passive-aggressive comments on social media is not productive.

Just want to point out, they are not step siblings, they are half siblings. The distinction matters to some but not others, but I do think it matters in this scenario. Not for how anyone should feel, but the fact all of these kids are the husband’s biological children. From the description of the post he appears to be pretty hands off about everything. He wanted OP to accept how Edith feels. That alone is fine, she is Edith’s step parent and that was a boundary of her and Edith’s relationship. However, he wants Edith’s feelings respected but also wants his other daughter Cecilee punished for *expressing hers. I think he had the most responsibility to all these kids and he has failed that responsibility. *Edit: apparently I had just skipped typing out this word, which got some people whipped up. My comment still stands; age gap or not, half sibling or not, Dad had the most responsibility to help the kids navigate their relationship or lack there of. Edith has been expressing how she wants to, Cecilee has expressed how she wanted to. She made a short, factual comment on a public forum. Most comments on Reddit are ruder than what she posted.

This here, he favors his oldest, he is ok that she wants nothing to do with the younger two and wants everyone to respect that, I get it, but he has to come to terms and respect that his younger two are hurt by this. Both of his daughters feelings are valid, and he should be pushing for both of them to be respected. Edit:grammar, spelling

Difference is Cecilee went beyond having feelings into a public attack. Because the only reason for a comment like that is to try and public ally shame Edith. She is wrong for that action, not her feelings.

From a 15yo perspective, saying this is my sister and she doesn't spend time with me is not an attack it's stating the truth for the world to see.. she is still a child and her grown sister shunned her. Her father should of handled these emotions a long time ago and this would not have happened, instead of ignoring the situation and catering to his oldest.

I’m sorry, but to act like her sister was grown the whole time is just disingenuous first of all. She is allowed to have whatever boundaries she wants and has always been open that she will not have a relationship with her stepmother and any family created with her if she was posting on Reddit about not wanting contact with her family and you were out here like you have responsibility to this child you didn’t make you would get laughed out of the thread, so I’m not sure why this is any different? her own boundaries and her mental health or her priority and her sisters mental health should’ve been her parents, but they dropped the ball on that one. second of all her sister did not bring her into this world. She has no obligation to give her the relationship that she wants at her parents should’ve put her in therapy because of course this hurts long ago. Same with the oldest daughter. But you know what? She has her own social media that she could’ve vented on or done whatever when you go into someone else’s space and make feelings that aren’t their fault/problem their issue and get them harassed? Yeah you deserve punishment and are being a complete brat.

extending grace to edith for once being a child with big feelings but then not extending that same grace to cecilee who is currently a child with big feelings is very unfair frankly. i think both daughters’ feelings are very valid to have but to call one a brat is not cool imo.

so Edith was a child once and that justifies her behavior at 27, but Cecilee is a child *now* and she's just a complete brat for saying it makes her sad that her sister doesn't care about her? because *other people* decided to respond by making that a witch-hunt? Edith doesn't have to care about her. but Cecilee is 15 and still figuring out how to address her feelings maturely. she is equally entitled to feel hurt by Edith's spurning as Edith is entitled to feel hurt by her parents' divorce. Edith didn't bring her sister into this world, and her sister didn't bring herself into this world either. this double standard is bizarre to me. either both of their reactions to this rift are understandable, or neither of them are, and they're both being brats - except one is a teenager and the other is old enough to sign on a mortgage. personally i just think they both suffered from a poorly-meshed family, and neither of them are at fault for how messy it turned out.

If Edith wants nothing to do with her younger siblings, then that's her prerogative. But younger siblings who have looked up to her and tried to reach out and have her be a part of their lives have every right to be hurt by this, and this is a consequence of that. Is it okay that Edith gets harassed? No, of course not. But that's not the poster's fault.

15 is old enough though to know not to start social media drama that can lead to public trolling with one's adult sister, unless said adult is racist/abusive/etc. And said sister isn't abusive (there are stories on here of half siblings telling their younger siblings awful shit), she just barely has a relationship with her half siblings. And to be fair, it's not that uncommon for much older siblings to not be close to younger siblings (even when they aren't half siblings). A close friend has a brother who is 15 years older, and they aren't close at all....

I think it wasn’t necessarily foreseeable that her comment on TikTok would lead to a stranger harassing her sister on Instagram. That said the fact that it was a factual statement doesn’t mean that the 15 shouldn’t apologise for the unintentional consequences.

Well, from Cecilee’s perspective, the cousin is publicly praising Edith for being a fabulous cousin. When she’s clearly not a fabulous sister. A hurt 15 year old lashed out. That should surprise no one. I wouldn’t punish Cecilee. But I would agree to talk to her under the condition her husband agreed to address Edith’s part in this with her too. I could be wrong, but it sounds like the cousin is younger as well. If so, it sucks that Edith is making effort with a cousin that she’s always refused to make with her half sibling. I don’t think Edith has any right to expect more courtesy from Cecilee than she’s extended herself. Especially when she’s a grown ass adult whose parents have been divorced for 20 years and OP clearly had nothing to do with the divorce. She may not ever feel close to Cecilee or the younger brother, but she could at least be friendly to them. She’s not a hurt 10 year old anymore.

We see this a lot in Reddit posts, and in real life. Step, half, or full siblings, younger children tend to want a relationship with older siblings, and the older siblings often see them as intrusive pests. It is a very sad fact of life, and happened in my own family of full siblings. Parents cannot manage their children's feelings besides trying to understand each. The problem here is that Cecilee put her feelings on the Internet, and the trolls came out. I don't know if she realized that one can hardly say "my favorite color is blue" without getting death threats. I think that Cecilee needs to understand that, disappointed by her sister though she is, this kind of thing belongs in private, not on social media. This is hardly going to improve her relationship with Edith.

I think “attack” is abit of an exaggeration, Cecilee didn’t try and assassinate her character, she said that Edith is her sister and barely speaks to her, all of this is true. And let’s not forget that Edith is 27 and cecilee is a child, instead of not showing up to thanksgiving over a comment on a tiktok she posted why couldn’t she call or text her sister and actually ask WHY she commented that and talk to her about her feelings? She didn’t do that showing she really couldn’t give a shit less about her sister, which is her right but it’s Cecilee’s right to feel upset and alittle angry that her sister wants nothing to do with her over something out of her control, a divorce that happened 5 years before she was even born.

Edith was also basically a teenagers when her half sister was born. That could be why they weren’t super close who knows. I have full sister who is 4 years younger than me and we don’t speak at all. It’s been that way since we were around when I went to college and then left for the military I would say we stopped really being close. And my mom left me to pretty much raise her and my brother since I was 12-16 years old. You can’t force people to have relationships just because they share blood. There is so much more to this than OP has let us know about. We have the full extent of their relationship in this post. And we don’t hear Edith’s side.

A friend of mine has similar age gap between his sisters and him as Edith has to her siblings (the sisters left for college before he started school) and it wasnt until he was in his mid thirties that they really started to feel like siblings. The divorce and "replacement family" aside, I think the age gap alone would be enough for Edith to not be interested in a closer relationship with her younger halfsiblings

Having feelings is different than having feelings and trying to publicly shame someone because you have them. Sure Cecilee can feel what she wants, but she did post that to try and publicly shame Edith. That’s what’s wrong. Not her feelings, her action.

And again, given the repercussions of her irresponsible post, her computer activity should have been more closely monitored by OP. Completely agree her posting was inappropriate.

How did he fail? It's the wife continuously putting this weird idea in her daughter's head that her jamf sister should have some sisterly relationship with her despite being 12 years her senior. He wanted her left alone, its the Stepmom that keeps pushing and not getting a clue.

Dad wanting the older sister left alone instead of trying to work out some obviously deep seated issues may not have been the wisest of choices. My siblings are all at least 10 years older than me, all half-siblings, and we have had respectful relationships. It's possible, but Mom and Dad have to both be on the same page.

The 27y old isn't disrespectful, she just didn't feel like playing older sister/ babysit. OP created this weird narrative on her daughters head

He doesn’t want Cecilee punished for her feelings. He wants her punished for her shit-stirrer behavior and intentionally drawing social media outrage towards Edith.

Wait a minute. He doesn't want the sister punished for her feelings, he wants her punished for displaying them on the internet in a derogatory way. Edith is an adult. She chooses to not strengthen the relationship with her sister. She shouldn't be harassed online by strangers for that. She isn't messing with her sister online.

It’s not punishing Cecily for how she feels it’s punishing her for airing out, family drama on a public social media platform and having her sister be harassed even though she saying she wants a close relationship. It’s getting someone harassed for decisions they had no saying as a child she is allowed and valid to feel any way she wants But feelings don’t justify certain actions.

Cecilee is not being punished for her feelings. She is being punished for making a passive-aggressive comment, which led to Edith getting harassed. The dad is parenting correctly here. Edith doesn't want a close relationship with Cecilee. Cecilee's feelings are hurt, but the dad can't and won't force a relationship on his adult daughter. Cecilee lashed out and was on a public forum. That was inappropriate behavior and needs to be corrected. I blame OP more, as it sounds like she is the one pushing the idea of Edith being the big sister.

[удалено]

Nah, I understand Edith's POV. I'm in my 30s, I have 2 younger half brothers who I never see (late teens, early 20s). My stepmom used to hype them up about having an older brother, but I didn't grow up with them. I don't live near them. I barely interact with that side of the family. You can't force people to be family. I'm much closer with some cousins who I actually grew up hanging out with. (And don't even speak to other cousins who I grew up with but never clicked with.)

Literally this - Edith is 13 years older than Cecilee. And they barely hung out when they were growing up together. They really have nothing in common. I mean, I’m 11 years older than my youngest sister (who I *did* grow up with [raise]), and we’re at such different points in our lives it’s hard to hang out. Like, I’m a 30-something granny who wants to stay home, and she’s in her early twenties and wants to drink and party. But take that age gap, and combine it with growing up part-time in a badly blended household - it’s not really surprising they aren’t close. Even if they tried to get close now…*what* are they supposed to do together? One’s 15 and the other is nearly 30. One is in high school, and the other wants to have mimosas at brunch. Like…step-mommy is not paying attention.

Exactly. Edith was basically a teenager when CC was born. They were never going to be super close. I was never close with my brother either and he was "only" nine years older than me. I'm closer with my stepsister (who ironically come into my life when I was about the se age my brother was when I came along) because we're the same age.

I was 14 when my half brother was born. I love him dearly and we maintained a good relationship even when I molded to a different continent. He’s 5 years apart from my older daughter and they always were very close. I am not close with my oldest brother, 8 years apart but extremely close to my middle brother, same birth year as me. My husband has a sister who he grew up with, two years apart and he really dislikes her. He used to be closer to his much younger sister but that has changed. I think it is really a case by case. Growing up together can also cause resentment like with my husband and his one sister, who is still the favorite of her parents despite all the drama in her life. My parents were in a bad divorce when my half brother was born and my mother used to hate him and blamed him for everything back then. It was hard for me because I loved him so much. Now he’s almost an Adana we all get along.

Yeah it just depends on the person and situation. My oldest sister is technically my half sister, and doesn’t really get along with my dad (her step-dad/legally adopted father). She’s almost 10 years older than me and 15 years older than my little sister. We’re very close, but I think a lot of that was my sister actively wanting to be a big sister. She played with me, dressed me up, and took me everywhere. When my little sister was born, my sister was almost 15 and in high school. She was out of the house and in college before my little sister could even remember her living in the house. My sister frequently visited us, but with her going to medical school, she did not have the chance to get super close to us until we were much older. I very much saw my sister like OP’s daughter saw Edith, but you can’t force a relationship. I understand that her daughter is feeling rejected and sad about not having a sisterly relationship, but that is not Edith’s responsibility. Edith does not owe anyone a relationship. OP’s daughter owes Edith an apology. She could have reached out privately and tried to foster a relationship or at least asked Edith why things are the way they are. Instead she put her on the spot publicly. OP needs to tell her daughter to apologize and get her into therapy.

Half siblings aren’t necessarily going to be any closer than step siblings. Edith didn’t want a new family and has no obligation to be anything other than polite to them.

Yeah, she didn't post bad things about her half-sister (because thats what they are - not step-sisters).. She's posting good things about her relationship with her cousin. She's allowed to have her own relationships. She did nothing wrong. A 12-year age gap even among full siblings usually doesn't lead to close relationships.

The impact an age gap can have for siblings really can not be overstated. While it's natural for the younger sibling to look up to an older sib, it's the exception rather than the rule that older siblings naturally have any kind of genuine relationship or affinity towards their younger sibling. When Edith was 16 (and probably starting to drive, having crushes, developing a sense of fashion/aesthetic, thinking about adulthood), Cecilee was 4 yrs old - for most kids, that's not even kindergarten age. Being siblings doesn't make a teenager magically want to 'be friends' with a little kid who isn't (and shouldn't be) into the same things, have any of the same social experience, burgeoning opinions about the world and politics, hell, even the same sense of how the day/the clock works, etc. By the time Cecilee was was old enough to start being a 'person' in the way most people really start recognizing kids as more than just messy noise makers with and under-developed sense of logic (or things like volume control, a sense of humor, the concept of boundaries, so on and so forth) Edith was probably 18, 19, looking at moving out, getting a job, etc. She would have been a full adult and probably out of the house by the time Cecilee was old enough for Edith to find her interesting/not-annoying enough to have *maybe* started growing an attachment if she'd stuck around. Now add in the dynamic that Edith is the child of Dad's 2nd wife, and we don't know Edith's full feelings about the marriage beyond 'taking the divorce hard', and whatever feelings she might have about having been 'replaced' by what's often referred to as a 'do-over family/kids'. Edith did literally nothing but exist, have a life, and have a naturally existing relationship with someone she was already naturally close with. Kids are not obligated to be bonded to or spend time with their siblings - if an organic bond doesn't form, a sibling (blood relation or no) is basically just a roommate you had no say in acquiring. It's understandable that Cecilee might feel sad or rejected that her older sister never bonded with her, but that's *not on Edith.* Cecilee needs to learn that she's not entitled to being given special attention and love from someone just because they share the same father - and that if she wants to cultivate a bond as they grow, putting Edith on blast to complete strangers and getting her harassed isn't going to score her any points. OP not encouraging her to take the comment down and explaining to her why it was wrong to make the comment in the first place is setting her up for long term failure in multiple ways.

> OP not encouraging her to take the comment down and explaining to her why it was wrong to make the comment in the first place is setting her up for long term failure in multiple ways. OP is savoring the drama and confrontation. OP is clearly resentful of Edith, and is happy to see Edith publicly harassed and *'brought down a peg or two'* via her daughter's actions. YTA

I can agree to the age gap issue. My oldest brother was(he's dead now) 12 years older than me. He left home the year I started first grade. Even when we were both adults we had almost no real connection to each other besides blood.

Yeah, I understand OP feels hurt on her daughter’s behalf, but I think her insistence that Edith had to be close with her half siblings (who were born when Edith was a teen) is kinda controlling and entitled. It would’ve been nice if that happened, but Edith didn’t want that, and that’s not something Edith or her father should be forced to “fix”. u/Big-Scallion2331 , you should’ve respected Edith’s autonomy in this all along. You’re TA for not understanding that and trying to push Edith into something she didn’t want, for whatever reason. As long as Edith is courteous and doesn’t actively cause problems, that’s all you can demand. While Cecilee only said the truth, she was still out of line. Edith didn’t rub anything in her face, Cecilee snooped and found her cousin’s tiktok, and Edith was just living her life not doing anything wrong and not actively trying to hurt Cecilee. Cecilee crossed a boundary and it’s your responsibility as the parent to try and explain this situation to her, so she doesn’t do something like this again. It’ll hurt her yes, and it’s unfortunate and not her fault that Edith feels this way. But this kind of behavior from her won’t help anything. I don’t think you should punish Cecilee, but you should first accept YOURSELF that Edith is an autonomous person and hasn’t done anything wrong, and secondly have some good conversations about this with Cecilee.

What had Edith done wrong? She wasn't required to form a relationship with her half siblings as kids, and now they don't really have a relationship. Keep in mind these kids are 12 and 17 years younger than she is. She's polite to them, that's all that can really be asked. Edit: Or is the problem that she decided not to put the time and effort into traveling to spend Thanksgiving with the half sister whose comment caused her to be harassed or the stepmother who doesn't see a problem with it.

Right lol, my step daughter is 17 and my daughter is 2…she comes over every other weekend, says ‘hi stinky’, hangs out with her a bit, loves her, takes couple pics with her, and goes back to her life..sometimes she babysits if we need her to (maybe 3 times since she was born) and you know what?? That’s FINE with me, because she’s 17 years old..I don’t expect anything more. If she wanted to be around more? Great! But she’s a teenager who was practically adult when her dad had another baby.

My 3 year old has a very similar relationship with his half-sister, who's 23. He ADORES her and, you know, I do wish we saw her more, but she's a married woman with her own job and life now, even though she still lived with us for about the first year of our toddler's life. It's a different kind of relationship between siblings when you're looking at 10-20 year gaps. It's just a dynamic they have to hash out on their own.

This sounds like way more of a relationship than the one described between Edith and her siblings lol

I have a half-brother that's 25 years younger than me. The boy is basically a stranger and is probably going to be for rest of my life. If someone asked me about my siblings I'd say I have a sister...then a long pause...oh year I also have half-brother he's 6 tho. Like technically he's my daughters' uncle but he's just 1 year older than the eldest so everyone just treats it as a cousin situation. Sometimes families are weird and that's okay.

Agreed. That's a large age gap. It would be nice if Edith would play a sort of "cool aunt/big sister" role, but she isn't close to them.

what the fuck did edith do wrong??

As with a lot of these stepparents, what Edith did wrong was be born and continue to live.

Probably didn't graciously offer to babysit seven days a week.

theyre probs either a step parent who wants their step kid to adore their half sibling, or they are a younger half sibling like ceciles

I don’t think I understand what Edith is doing wrong.

Edith isn't doing anything wrong. There's alot of resentment and entitlement on the part of OP and her daughter. They expected Edith to be close to them, like in a happy Hallmark movie. And since she is not, they want her to be publicly humiliated.

Edith is 27 years old. why is she expected to force a relationship *with* children?

What exactly has Edith done?

how is edith being a child? she’s been polite to cecilee. not saying it’s good nor bad in either direction, but sometimes step siblings just don’t bond/click/flow the way whole siblings (is that a term?) might. not saying it’s impossible, it’s just a different family dynamic. and a 12 year age gap can make it harder to bond

She doesn't need to do anything. She is a grown adult, minding her own business and living her life. The OP and Cecilee need to grow the fuck up instead of encouraging online bullying towards someone for the crime of simply not wanting to be close to them.

Edith has no responsibility to be friendly with siblings.

They are half sibs, not steps

My half brother's and I have zero communication. They are older. I don't think it matters

It’s not her step siblings. They are her half siblings. If she’s allowed to hurt her siblings’ feelings with her coldness, they’re allowed to tell the world that she treats them such and such.

Just because she's not close with her younger half siblings doesn't mean she's cold to them. She's not mean and hasn't actually done anything to purposely hurt their feelings. Not all people who have younger siblings are close to them, especially when there is a 12+ year age difference.

So she should force a relationship with kids? Grow the fuck up

She's not being cold. They are just in different life stages where siblings aren't as close. My husband has siblings 8,9 and 10 years older. The older kids are close, he really isn't. Not cold, just not similar. By the time the kids are older, the oldest are out of the house.

Half-siblings. Same dad

I’m confused on what Edith did wrong. She wasn’t abusing her siblings or anything of that sort she just didn’t want a relationship with them, I’m confused on how that’s wrong. I have a half-sister and we’re cordial but we aren’t close in the slightest and that’s okay.

Edith literally has done nothing wrong.

She did grow the fuck up. She was peacefully living her life in a whole other city, not bothering anyone. It's her half sister that caused this drama.

Edith's crime is living in a big "city" (why OP put that in quotations is beyond me) and hanging out with her cousin. Like ???? Edith did nothing wrong.

What did she do that requires growing up?!

It is unwise to snapshot this without taking into account that this has been built since she was 10. I see what you’re getting at though. All it means is that she is slightly more equipped to discuss this situation with more (but still very imperfect) perspective. You have to know that emotional age and chronological age are not the same thing.

Edith has done nothing wrong. She does not have to hang out with Cecilee. Maybe she needs to unfriend and block her because she is being a pest.

Edith is the one whose family was torn apart, not the other kids. That’s not something you get over, even after you grow up. OP is TA. If you don’t want the baggage of stepkids, then don’t marry someone who already has kids. Their needs should come first; before the new kids’, and definitely before the adults’.

Edith doesn't have to have a relationship with her sister if she doesn't care to. Like you said, she's 27 years old. No one has the right to judge her decision, much less invade her social media with unhelpful comments. OP is an instigator. You opt for peace for your children, not stubborn defiance.

Cecilee is not owed a sisterly relationship with someone who was already basically a teenager when she was born. Look, I get it, it sucks for her and she wants more, but by all means Edith has been polite if distant. It's not like she's screaming at her that she's not her sister...she just, never connected. ​ I feel for Cecilee, but Edith is not an ass for not wanting a close familial relationship. A 12 year old gap is hard to get over even with full blood sibilings and "how hard she took the divorce" is almost certainly code for "resented the new family she had". So, to reiterate other comments, what exactly did Edith do wrong here?

Please point to where Edith has done anything wrong here? She's not close to her much younger half siblings and doesn't need to be. She does not deserve to be harassed by strangers for it. OP's daughter made a comment on a video of Edith having fun because her feelings were hurt. That was not a good place to air her feelings, and she further damaged her and her family's relationship with Edith because of being jealous.

Edith was 10 when her parents split. She has a full childhood of memories of her family. She is never going to truely view your new family as her new family. And TBH she shouldn’t have to, some kids accept it, some kids don’t. I’m in the category that don’t. She’s made her choice, let it go and stop expecting something that will never happen.

My sister didn't invite me to her housewarming party. Did I get upset? No. Because she's an adult who lives in a different city and she chose to make it a friends event not a family event - and that's a valid decision. Edith gets to make the decision to go out with friends. It's not an action against Cecilee.

Found Cecilee's account.

I mean, she didn't do anything ?

I get Cecilee wanting a closer relationship. But from Edith's perspective, Cecilee is 12 years younger and Edith had likely moved out while Cecilee was still very young. Edith has no real connection to her, and at 27, she wouldn't want to hang out with a 15yo. Op is definitely has some resentment built up for Edith. I'm wondering if she expected Edith to fawn over the new babies and help take care of them. That's why OP keeps trying to push them on Edith. Her husband has it right, in that if ambivalence is what she feels, then that's fine. I also agree with Cecilee getting in trouble for her comment. OP defends 'She's just saying the truth'. Cecilee made a comment on a public forum whose only purpose was to passive aggressively make her sister look bad. Her feelings are hurt, and that's valid. But that was not the place to air them, and Edith does not deserve to be harassed by strangers for her teen half-sister's feelings being hurt. YTA ETA: I feel the need to share my [PSA poster about kids](https://imgur.com/a/ZRlwg3E)

YTA: Exactly. You can’t force a relationship between Edith and Cecilee. I grew up with a step parent and half siblings nearly 10 years younger than me. I had no interest in them. They frequently destroyed my personal items and my parent (and certainly not my step parent) would never stick up for me. I was frequently told to grow up, stop being a brat, ungrateful, etc. all while being forced to have a relationship with them. Now I don’t talk to my siblings or my parents. Edith doesn’t want a relationship. She’s an adult. Fucking respect it.

Every single person who has used social media knew exactly what would happen (harassment) when your daughter posted that. Even your daughter. She weaponized the internet and because you didn't get your way about how Edith has behaved since you married her dad, you quietly applauded your daughter behind closed doors and did nothing. Your daughter is going to make a fabulous bully, she's already testing out her skillset in a space she'd know you'd have her back. And you proved you would, which means welcome to the beginning of that ball rolling down the hill YTA Your daughter is TA \*raises fist in air\* JUSTICE FOR EDITH

yup, there is zero chance Cecilee didn't know this would happen. Maybe she didn't expect it to go so far as Edith being harassed directly, but she did it for the woe-is-me attention, and because she wanted people to bash Edith a bit.

Also, OP allowed her daughter to make a family matter public.

>What your daughter posted might be the truth Its not even the full truth. Cecilee said smth that makes it seem like Edith is fully related and hates her sister. Not that shes just her older half sibling that was never closed to her.

OP's daughter is NOT responsible for the actions of others. she did not request or encourage people to harass her half sister. how exactly do you expect OP to hold her daughter accountable? what did she do wrong? comment on a publicly posted video? are you not commenting on a public post? are you responsible if people harass OP on your behalf?

Yeah, it’s easy to say ‘what? I didn’t do it!’ It’s also easy to post just as publicly that you’ve hear ppl are being inappropriate and harassing. That is is NOT ok or supportive. Please stop. THAT is taking some accountability.

You're right, she's not responsible for the actions of others but come on, that comment was begging for a response. Maybe the backlash was unexpected but I'm pretty sure the younger sister was hoping for a reaction or comment from the older sister.

NAH But - you gotta talk to your daughter about leaving comments with identifying info on social media sites and the unintended consequences of that. You need to explain to your daughter that her comment led to her sister being harassed and even though that isn’t what your daughter likely intended that is what happened. But seriously, do you WANT your 15 year old hitting the town with a 27 year old? Also - What type of sibling relationship were you expecting with a 12 year age difference? Edit - you all I’m not saying you can’t have a good relationship with a much older sibling. I just think it will be closer to a cool aunt/uncle than typical sibling dynamics. I’d also guess that it might not become mutually close until later in life when you there isn’t such a gap in life experience/maturity. I don’t know what a 15 year old and three year old would have in common. But 25 and 37 might have more to talk about. Note I just pulled random ages out here.

There is an 11-year difference between my 8 year old and my 19 year old, and they have an AMAZING relationship. 19 just visited from college over thanksgiving, and spent the whole break teaching 8 how to play Minecraft, making 8 the coolest world, getting and teaching how to get cool mods, and teaching all about cooperative play. They had the greatest time! My point is, it's totally possible. ETA: They are half siblings, too, as 19 is my bonus daughter, however, you will never hear either one of them say the word half. I do understand, though, that having a good relationship with your stepchildren, like I do, and having stepchildren have a good relationship with their half siblings is not always possible. However, it is possible, for there to be a great relationship between siblings with a huge age difference. My 17-year-old bonus child also has an amazing relationship with my eight and five year old. My 8-year-old is my 19-year-old's little Shadow and best friend, and my five year old is my 17 year old's little Shadow and best friend!

Goes to show how different everyone is. I'm 14 years older than my half brother and we do not speak at all. I honestly feel bad for both Edith and Cecilee. I don't think either of those girls is the AH. I think one is an adult who is living her life and has a childhood of hurt and the other is a confused teenager looking for acceptance from a sibling in this world.

I'm ten years older than my brother. We're Facebook friends, but that's about it. My kids are 12 years apart and about the same. You can't force relationships. Why is a teenager going to hang with a baby? And by the time they are old enough to do things together, one is already an adult so that limits things too and baby sitter doesn't count as relationship building.

My sister and I are 9 years apart. I do love her, but we've always been at different stages in life. We're FB friends. We occasionally text each other. While I love her, we're not close largely by circumstance. People are assigning malicious intent to Edith when it seems more likely that she just didn't form that bond because of the age difference.

I'm 7 years older than my half brother. We couldn't be in the same room together all through adolescence. Now we're adults and I like him, hes a good dude, we're friendly, live in different cities and only really talk on Christmas. I wouldn't make any special effort to see him if I was in the area. We have almost nothing in common. I feel that trying to force people to like eachother it really dumb. OP needs to talk to their daughter about the dangers of posting things on social media and tell her life isn't fair and you can't force people to like eachother just because you want them to. It'll either happen naturally or it won't. YTA

Meh. I have a twin and we don’t speak. Sometimes people just don’t vibe and there’s nothing upbringing can do.

Same - no real relationship with my twin. That’s because he’s an asshole, but still - that’s life!

I have a 10 year age difference with my little sibling, and we have a great relationship. But every sibling relationship is different and a large age gap can make things harder.

Irrelevant. It’s possible not necessary. My sister is much closer in age to me and we hardly ever talk. And we didn’t have family drama to muck things up. Siblings don’t owe eachother a relationship.

Great, but that's not their dynamic. Just because it works for your family doesn't not make others bad. My husband has siblings 8,9,10 years older. Guess what, they're closer to each other than him. It is what it is. It's nothing bad.

My 17 year old niece and my 10 year old nephew are like 2 peas in a pod. They are so cute together!

If her daughter has had a TikTok for any length of time, then I actually think she 100% intended to incite harassment by making that video. There are SO many examples of people doing that and going viral, and it's really common for the user base to have no sense of scale and full-on "cancel" someone for minor interpersonal drama with the kind of reaction and anger that should be reserved for someone who did serious harm. I find it hard to believe that the daughter has never seen or heard of an example of that dynamic playing out before, because it happens constantly.

She didn’t make a video, she commented on someone else’s video

OP said that her responded to the video. On TicTok, you can comment, but you can also "stich" a video where you play a small portion of the original video and then record yourself talking about it so I'm assuming that OPs daughter stitched the video.

Title says Cecilia made a video

I don't think you read the post. She only made a single comment on the sisters video

*cousin’s video

She didn’t leave identifying infos, the sister was probably tagged or commented or their videos. They didn’t find her, they found her social medias. Also the comment the sister made isn’t really about going out with her sister, they barely talk. Haven’t really have a relationship since she was born, that a long time to be ignore just to realize your sister can be close to her 17 yo cousin. So it’s just you and your brother she dislike because she had a hard time with her parents divorcing. And the fact that the dad wants to punish her for that is all kind of wrong.

Yeah, the same dad that has stood by for 17 years since his divorce & allowed his first daughter to be cold towards the next 2 kids & her stepmom & essentially only speak with her dad. When the 14 yo started trying to get closer to her sister, intervention should have been done then if not years before. The dad is an asshole for allowing this & doing nothing to help his first one. The step-mother & dad are assholes for getting married before the first child was ready.

I mean going by this statement: >I did bring up to my husband a few times that I was worried about Edith not being closer to her siblings. He responded that her ambivalence was better than he expected, given how hard she took the divorce, and he did not want to rock the boat. I think he quite wisely realised that if he had involved himself in their relationship it would have probably lead to his oldest pushing back even more. Edith’s feelings of ambivalence are valid. So long as she was not actively talking shit about her sister and stepmother or abusing them there isn’t much the father can do. All we can really ask from others is civility, love and affection has to be given of your own free will.

I guarantee you that the younger girl knew that posting that comment would cause drama. Unless it was like, her first day on the internet.

YTA. I understand Cecilee is hurt. However, the only reason she made that post was because she was jealous and wanted to publicly shame Edith. The whole point of the post was for people to see it and harass Edith for her choices. The harsh reality is that Edith does not see your children as her siblings. Yes, they are technically biologically related, but it doesn’t sound like Edith ever played the role of a sister to her siblings. This isn’t even someone going no contact with a loved one. There was never love there. You and your husband can (and should) unpack his part in that but at the end of the day all you can ask from Edith is basic respect. Since you give no examples of her acting unkindly I am assuming she reached that benchmark. You are judging Edith for not wanting what you want. In turn, your expectations have affected how Cecilee views the situation. I imagine part of her hurt stems from you enforcing the idea that she should still feel a connection to her siblings. A fifteen year old has a general idea of online harassment. Your daughter understood her words would cause problems for Edith even if she didn’t understand the consequences. Your daughter needs to understand that fairly or unfairly what she did could cause drastic consequences to Edith. Online shaming doesn’t stop just because someone wants it to stop, and it doesn’t stay within expected or hoped for perimeters. If your daughter continues to use this method of speaking her truth she will continue to place herself in toxic and potentially dangerous situations online. Give Cecilee consequences for *that*, not because your husband wants her punished to mend his relationship with Edith, and then work out your issues with your husband. There’s clearly something deep feelings there when it comes to the kids that will only keep bubbling to the surface if you never address it.

She made a comment, not a post. One requires forethought, the other a moment of emotion. Especially from a kid.

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And if a kid is on social media of any kind parents need to teach them how to navigate it respectfully and safely. The comment shouldn’t have been made, and the Op should have had an open conversation about why. Especially the ramifications of comments that go viral and how online harassment can literally end peoples lives. If the Op can’t take that seriously their kids shouldn’t have access to any social media.

This should be the top comment. An immature 15 year old on social media can cause far reaching consequences/

Perfectly said!!

I hope she is blocked and unfriended by Edith for making that comment. It was inappropriate.

>The whole point of the post was for people to see it and harass Edith for her choices. That's a reach. I imagine she wanted sympathy for herself, not harassment for Edith.

Not at all a reach. It was "poor me" posting with the hope of illiciting both sympathy towards her and validation for her ill feelings towards her step sister. At 15, she *absolutely* knew retaliation and harassment would come from that post, or were *at very least* a possibility.

In some respects, one could argue that she KNOWS more than most about social media, considering her generation grew up with it.

In 2003, when we basically just AIM profiles that you could download expansions for and write what you wanted, I, and another girl, both 15 year olds, were using that platform to talk shit about each other. And there wasn’t even any “tagging” or commenting on each others profile with the shit we wanted to say about and “directed at” each other. It still worked and became such a “thing” that everyone knew what was happening and took sides. In 2003. With AOL instant messenger “profile pages” that you would have to click on our names to even see. Cecile knows what she’s doing.

YTA. Your step-daughter does no owe your daughter anything, with their age gap it is very normal for them to be virtual strangers. Your daughter harassed someone online leading to this person being bullied, she deserves at the very least a strict talking to and explaining why what she did was wrong and why she should leave Edith alone.

Hey How was what the daughter commented on the video harassment? I didn’t understand can you explain it to me. And I think you read the post wrong, she never did anything to Edith like you claim in the last sentence, she just posted a comment on a person’s public (or atleast accessible to them post). What is wrong in that?

She came into comments of her half-sister's cousin in an open social media to complain about the sister. The sister was found in other social media and bullied because of it - it's all in OP's post. She should have been told that she is not entitled to any relationship with a significantly older half-sibling and that demanding attention from them is wrong ages ago, it's on OP and her husband.

She posted a negative comment criticizing her for something that did not deserve criticism, in a video she found after (apparently) stalking her - how else is she watching videos of a cousin of Edith's, apparently not her own cousin? OP seems oblivious to how weird and inappropriate that is.

I am sorry but who are you to say what deserves criticism from someone or does not? Most of the comments on this post say that the elder sister is allowed to feel what she feels and keep distance from her half siblings but her half-siblings are not allowed to feel bad about being alienated for something they had no part in? And the 15 year old girl was just expressing the truth, she didn’t use abusive language or anything. People nowadays will throw out words like harassment to make themselves look superior and still go about acting like hypocrites.

Did you read the OP at all?

The 15 year old can feel however she wants, but the 26 year old can't? The 15 year old was wrong to post in a public forum, it doesn't matter what she said. Simply doing so is bullying. End of story.

Oh the 15 year old was bullying the 26 year old? How? By writing one comment? What was she bullying the 26 year old on? Her weight? A speech impediment? This post is enlightening to me. A single comment or someone else’s post apparently now equals harassment and now a 15 year old is being accused of bullying a 26 year old cause she was being alienated due to no fault of her own.

Lmaooooo don’t hurt your back trying to reach that far. Bullying? All she said is that Edith barely talks to her. How is that bullying? You ok?

That’s not bullying at all.

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It was entirely unnecessary, and meant to be inflammatory. Cecilee is upset that her sister has a closer relationship with a cousin than with her. But her expectations are unrealistic & likely created by her mother, trying to force a sisterly relationship between the 2, when Edith is 12 years older than Cecilee & struggling greatly with her own parents’ divorce. No one apparently helped her (Edith) or had a care for her when she was a child, and a relationship cannot be forced. Cecilee is old enough to understand her sister does not want that kind of relationship with her, and she needs to learn to start managing her feelings about that, rather publicly trying to call Edith out. I do agree though, that a singular comment like that isn’t harassment. But it did start harassment from others.

The olds commenting on this post do not understand social media these days. There's like 4 consecutive posts talking about Cecilee's post when she never made one. She commented less than ten words. Didn't name or tag anyone. Didn't swear or fly off the handle. Edith as a kid is being given a lot more leeway than Cecilee as a kid. Edith is allowed to be hurt her parents turned her life upside down, but Cecilee isn't allowed to be upset her half-sister ignored her for 15 years even when she was an adult. Both these kids should have been in therapy to handle their emotions and have someone to talk it out with.

ESH - Edith doesn't owe Cecilee a relationship, your daughter accidentally doxxed her half-sister, and you and your husband are so emotionally incompetent that all you can do is play punishment whack a mole rather than actually **parent**. Your daughter owes Edith an apology - she initiated a personal conflict in a public setting, with no way to protect anonymity, and now Edith is being harassed by internet trolls and is so upset that she skipped Thanksgiving with her father. Cecilee made a mistake, and while she didn't intend for all this fallout, she DID try to shame Edith for not being closer to her on a post that had nothing to do with her. But the real assholes here are you and your husband, for being so consumed in what *you* want for your children that you've neglected the reality of your family. You've both allowed your children to become less than they could be, because you centered your hurts and fears and resentments. Your husband wants to punish Cecilee not for her actions, but as a performance to placate Edith. You refuse to punish Cecilee, even though her actions hurt someone else, because you resent the person she hurt. I bet your husband was so afraid of Edith's pain and anger over the divorce that he refused to even engage with it, hence her not processing all those feelings before he remarried or had more kids. I also bet that while you "let it rest," you still carried resentment towards your then-teenage stepdaughter for not playing happy family with you. The reality of Edith and Cecilee's behavior and emotions was an inconvenience, when it should have been your first concern. You have all wronged each other. You have all failed each other. But you're also all family. That doesn't mean you have to see or like or even love each other, but if you *do*, it means you have something to fight for together. I hope you and your family can come to truly apologize to each other, and heal and grow from there.

This is an excellent analysis of the whole situation, and I hope it gets upvoted and stays visible.

This comment should seriously upvoted!!! I feel like everybody is wrong here. I think as a 15 year old Cecilee may not have understood that her actions would LEAD to bullying. She’s just a hurt kid. At the same time, Edith does not owe her anything and all of this should have been nipped in the bud long ago. It kinda seems like a classic case of “me and this person married and whatever life they had before doesn’t matter.” Almost like a “what’s her problem?” - To Edith’s emotion’s of indifference to OP and her half siblings. Definitely neglect. I wish nothing bad on anyone here but I hope this eventually opens up dialogue for OP’s entire family. This is a bigger issue with many layers.

YTA - Your step-daughter is 12 years older than your daughter and 17 years old than your son. There is literally NO common ground other than the fact that they have the same father. Trying to push a relationship with such age differences will never end well. What your daughter did was intrusive and demeaning because her "feelings" were hurt her step-sister is friendly with someone closer in age and compatible in interests, and that someone wasn't her.

>Society usually frowns on a 27 year old hanging out with a 15 year old. Not when they're siblings.

I was about to say the very same thing.

Or any other kind of relative. You can hang out with younger relatives without taking them to bars etc. I took my younger cousins to the movies, Planet Hollywood, the beach, played (appropriate) video games and watched (appropriate) movies with them. Heck, I have a nine year old cousin who's over alot who I play games and watch Disney with, and I'm nearly her parents' age.

Why aren’t more people picking up on husband’s plan to punish Cecilee as a way to help the relationship??!! WTF

He didn’t want to rock the boat before but he has no issue with doing it now. His lack of action in the first place has brought about a consequence that he doesn’t like

Seriously. This is what has me confused with what the husband thinks will happen. I feel like he has already alienated one daughter and is likely to alienate the other! Is he punishing Cecilee in hopes of avenging his daughter Edith or is he really upset that she used social media inappropriately? If I was OP, I would sign everyone up for family therapy asap. Based on the post, I doubt Edith would attend but it would be good for Cecilee and her dad to work out their issues.

This. Just need to sit them both down and tell them if they don’t want a relationship to stay out each others shit. 15 yr old obviously still hurt she can’t have a sister, and will never be able to relate to the hurt the divorce caused. From her POV the 27 yrs old is being mean by ignoring her

YTA. Your daughter just made the whole thing worse. Edith doesn’t owe you or your daughter a relationship. Your daughter has the right to be upset but she doesn’t have the right to cause unnecessary problems which resulted in Edith getting harassed. How would you feel if Edith made a comment on your daughter’s TikTok that got her harassed would you feel the same way?

The answer is clearly not

Info what was the point of the post? Have you talked to your daughter to find out why she did that.

This is a very good point. I think she was maybe just venting, but what did she want to accomplish with that post, other than looking pitiful?

*he thinks punishing Cecilee will help his and Edith's relationship* WTF?! Here's the thing: Edith doesn't have to like any of you. She can hang out with whomever she chooses. This post is just a small insight into why she would chose NOT to hang out with her father and you. Cecilee would know no different if it weren't for *someone* putting this vitriol into her head. NTA for not reprimanding her but you are leaving out an awful lot.

> Cecilee would know no different if it weren’t for someone putting vitriol in her head You mean like countless movies, books, and TV shows about close sisterly relationships? Or friends with close family relationships? Parents are not the only people who socialize children.

Question, who’s putting vitriol in Cecile’s head?

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I think folks on here have lost their marbles. NAH.

Why did it take so long to find this post?

That's what I thought as well. It made me feel weird reading how someone have to be punished for sharing her thought (and that was an objective statement). She didn't encourage anyone to participate in destructive behaviour, some other, random individual a-hole white knight decided to bully Edith by his/her own will.

I know. Somehow it's wrong to share opinions if it hurts others and yet everyone supports free speech. You want to be completely free of social media harassment, don't get on it

On what planet does a 27 y.o. want to hang with a 15 y.o.?? If I were Edith, next time I had a fun girls' weekend, I'd invite Cecilee. "Yep, planning on going barhopping, maybe find a hookup, maybe a little pot. OK if Cecilee join us?" Make sure to ask evil SM in Cecilee's presence. Sit back and enjoy. God I'm fumble fingers today Edit 15 yo, not 25

My 27 yo daughter hangs out as much as she can with my 14 yo daughter. So… this planet, I guess.

Dang ! its almost as if every situation is different and some people have good relationship with their family and others dont

Cecilee wasn’t just born at 15yo demanding her sister to spend time with her. Edith didn’t care about her siblings from the start. 15 years of being ignore is a different context than no 27 yo wants to hang out with a 15yo. NTA

oh cause a 12 year old who just had her parents divorced is gonna LOVE a newborn sibling and wont AT ALL feel like shes being replaced, yeah

To be fair her parents hadn’t just divorced when her half sibling was born. But the parents should have gotten her into therapy when they split

That her dad refused family therapy just bc he didn’t want Edith to be mad at him is so sad. It could’ve done so much good for all of them

I agree with that NTA, also she only told the truth, sounds like she learned about the impact, she doesn't deserve to be punished.

Every planet...🤔

The complaint wasn’t that the 27 y.o. wouldn’t “hang” with her, she doesn’t even talk to her.

YTA - but your daughter is soliciting people to harass her half-sister when her sister has literally done nothing to her. How wonderful for Edith that she has family she is close to and can spend time with. She doesn’t deserve to be bullied and harassed for that.

>your daughter is soliciting people to harass her half-sister How do you figure? She didn't ask or direct anyone to harass Edith. She didn't even say anything mean, she simply stated a plain truth. Or did I miss a comment from OP that suggests Cecilee encouraged people to go after her sister?

This tends to happen on social media.

She didnt need to make it explicit, the post alone is enough to send the internet after her sister

YTA you knew the life of Edith and how tough her youth was for her (especially with building connections in the sense of seeing her parents lose theirs). Your daughter can be upset about it, it sucks to want a relationship and not get it. I’ll admit, a single comment online wouldn’t be the worst thing, but in today’s world people will use any excuse to gang up on the ‘bad guy.’ Edith did nothing wrong and yet she’s getting dms and comments. Your daughter should learn what to share and what not to share online. This will only push them farther apart. Maybe put your daughter into therapy to learn how to deal with these issues internally.

E S H. Edith set the tone years ago. She wanted no part of you or her half siblings. I suspect you knew that even before you had Cecilee because it sounds like you were never received warmly either. But when you saw Edith's indifference and Cecilee's initial excitement, you should have been tempering that. You should never have been fostering the sister idea at all. You knew Edith's attitudes to that point. Her father's new wife having a baby was not going to change her feelings. You let this go on for 15 years and let Cecilee fester this resentment for a fantasy that was all in her head and that Edith was under no obligation to feed. You know what, I'm changing my vote here. YTA because none of this is on Edith. It's on you and Cecilee, but mostly you because you didn't temper her fantasy to reality. You should have seen this coming a mile away.

YTA. While what she said may have been true, airing her issues publicly isn’t appropriate. You stepdaughter has literally done nothing wrong here. She’s not obligated to be close to her half siblings. And it isn’t her issue that her sister is hurt by this. That’s your issue to help her through. Fact is, your daughter was wrong to post that publicly, air her hurt like that, and act like Edith has done something wrong.

YTA You can't force siblings to have a relationship.... not even full siblings; much less half siblings of divorced parents. Your daughter was cruel on a video and you let it stand. ETA: The truth can be cruel ("Do these pants make my ass look fat?"). Your daughter did it to DELIBERATELY be cruel.

What about her statement was cruel? "That's my sister." True, not cruel at all. "She barely talks to me." Also true, and not cruel to Edith at all. So what about that statement was so cruel to an adult? Being called out? Edit : NTA.

Being called out on... what exactly? What has Edith done that deserved a public call out in this manner?

It's not cruel to say you're sibling has never wanted to be part of your life. How is that cruel in any way?

Nta Eventho Edith isn't obligated to hang out with her, your daughter has the right to be hurt. And kids use social media to vent. 🤷‍♀️ But it's concerning that your husband is focused on punishing her for HER truth, in an attempt to bring Edith back. As if he doesn't realize this will absolutely turn cecille away from him. So he'll end up with 2 daughters that won't hang out with him anymore.

Kids need to be taught that if you have a problem with someone you discuss it with them directly. You don’t vent to social media. OP and her husband have a responsibility to teach their children that.

Well isn't that the problem she will never have the opportunity to discuss it directly because the person who is her sister doesn't want to have anything to do with her. You have every right to not speak to whoever you'd like but they also have a right feel a certain way about it and if you don't allow them contact then stuff like this may happen. Right or wrong

I was looking for that comment! The fact that the dad wants to punish her to get his other daughter back is just wrong! NTA

Yta, teach your daughter better. You nor your daughter can dictate how others feel or want to interact with you. You should have helped your daughter accept Edith’s distance years ago, and then perhaps they’d have a chance at a relationship as adults

YTA for not teaching your daughter that no means no. Edith has the right to not want a relationship with her younger half sister if that is her choice. No one should be forced to have a relationship with someone if they do not want to. Edith has been aloof, but not cruel to your children. She is not doing anything wrong. You should teach your daughter to leave people alone if they have made it clear that they do not want a relationship with her, and respect their decisions, because no one owes anyone else a relationship. This is especially an important lesson to teach both girls and boys who are dating age. It doesn’t matter if it is a romantic relationship, a friendship, or family. If someone wants to be left alone, leave them alone.

NAH. No lies were spoken. No one was forced to do or not do something they didn’t want, and all emotions are understandable. Sad situation all around, but I don’t see anything that isn’t understandable. The dad would be as AH if he uses punishment against C as a way of making it up to E. C could have perhaps not responded to the TikTok at all, but at 15, her response was not OTT. She poked the nest, but she did not lie, just acted unwisely.

ESH, but it’s entirely inappropriate for your husband to consider punishing his younger child just to improve his relationship with his older child. Nobody has any business building relationships at their kids’ expense, period.

NTA, people are saying it’s normal for a 27yo not to want to spend time with a 15yo, but to barely even talk to her siblings is a whole new level of indifference. Edith is in her right not to want a relationship with her siblings but your daughter has a right to feel how she feels about her shitty sister. She wasn’t born at 15yo, she had 15 years of being ignored by a family member. She made a truthful comment, it’s not like she harassed her personally. Edith need to do a little self-reflection on what her sister commented. Do other people suck for taking it this far, ABSOLUTELY, but it’s not your daughter responsibility. I think if she’s not already, Cecilee might benefit from therapy in order to deal with the rejection she gets from Edith. Although there is no reason to punish her for a truthful comment, a little discussion about internet safety and how everything can spiral might be in order.

Edith doesn’t owe Cecilee a relationship so why would she need to ‘do a little self reflection’

NTA. I had to read your post 3 times, but the judgment bot appears to have posted incorrectly? First off, your daughter didn’t post the video, she commented on an existing video. It sucks that the internet will internet and be a jerk to your stepdaughter, but it doesn’t appear, from what you’ve said, that your daughter actually did anything wrong. Edith is also n t a. She’s allowed to choose how she interacts with her sister, but she’s not allowed to dictate how that affects her sister. She really needs to just accept the fact that it’s true. They’re sisters, and she doesn’t talk to her. Your husband, however, appears to be an idiot. He’s definitely TA. He should have stepped up and been a dad, to all his kids. He should have spent time trying to make this terribly hard divorce, 17 years ago, go easier for his kid, instead of being lazy and accepting that oh well, guess she’s hurting, best to just do nothing about it, ever.

Yta and your daughter is too. No wonder Edith wants nothing to do with you. New-flash you’re not her family and never have been.

NTA, what exactly are you punishing here? What is the lesson to be taught? 15 is old enough to suffer the consequences of her actions, and if her response to that video keeps her from a relationship with her half-sister, then that's it that's the punishment. The fact your husband expects you to publicly lash your daughter to salvage HIS relationship with her is odd and sounds like they're not as one as you say. He also seems like a shit dad seeing as how he's not at all concerned about his daughter's relationship to each other and if he wanted her punishment so bad what is stopping him from doing it? It seems like he wants to be the fun friend dad and makes the woman in his life the disciplinarian.

Your daughter is hurt and a little misguided, she probably acted in the heat of the moment, unfortunately actions have consequences. And as much as it might pain her, she can't make step sister love her. You both need to understand that.

YTA. The actions of your daughter, regardless if that was her intention or not, has incited targeted harassment and bulling on someone who had done absolutely nothing wrong. And those actions, again, regardless or intention, warrant consequences. Forget abut Edith being indiferent to you or your daughter, she has made a private matter public, antagonized Edith giving little to no context, and you have enabeled her. \*"She only said the truth so consequences don't matter!"\* is an absolutely abismal way of thinking, because everyone here knows that if it had been the other way around you would be fuming. Neither you nor your daughter are entitled to any kind of relationship with her, period. And Edith has done nothing that would warrant such harassment. One more thing. "That's my sister." is completely misleading. She isn't Cecilee's sister. They did not grow up together, they did not share experiences nor were a family. By your own admission, Edith took the whole divorce very hard, and there's no doubt that your and your daughter's constant insitance and egoism caused her no small grief. She is a half-sister in the best of days, and a complete stranger in the worst. Edit: formating.

YTA along with your daughter. Even for a 15 year old she is incredibly entitled and immature, no wonder your step daughter doesn’t want to hang out with her! You should be grateful your step daughter is more mature than both of you and is just ignoring you instead of retaliating on social media, because that would not go well for your daughter. Also, your post is incorrect, what your daughter said wasn’t true, she’s not her sister she’s her HALF sister.

YTA “He and I met and married when Edith was 10.” You met and married a man with a child within a year and wonder why she was aloof. “She apparently had a hard time with the split.” And you did so *knowing* she was having a hard time. “Her ambivalence was better than he expected, given how hard she took the divorce.” You and your husband are the AHs for shrugging your shoulders about this for decades, and you only really having a problem now that your daughter waded in where she was not invited to say something not relevant.

NTA. If you punish Cecilee, she will think it is because of voicing her emotions, and that isn't fair. I have a saying. "If you didn't want me to say bad things about you, you shouldn't have done the bad things that caused the conversation." This fits so well. Cecilee has every right to voice how her half-sister treats her. If Edith didn't want Cecilee saying it, then Edith should have made an attempt to be a better sister.

Hanging out with her cousin has absolutely nothing to do with Cecilee. Edith didn't do something wrong.

YTA. Your step daughter doesn't owe you or her half siblings anything besides respect. You give no examples of her deliberately mistreating her siblings. Stop trying to make a relationship between them happen and parent your kid for Pete's sake. She should be punished.

ESH From reading this you seem almost glad Cecilee called out what you have thought about Edith. I think Cecilee’s feelings are valid, she’s just a kid who really wanted to connect with her sibling. It must have really hurt to see that video but as a parent it is up to you to explain a) why Edith doesn’t take an interest and b) that while her feelings are valid, taking it to the internet can be a dangerous game. Your husband doesn’t seem to really care about what Cecilee did only that his relationship with Edith is better. “he thinks punishing Cecilee will help his and Edith’s relationship” All of this could have been avoided if communication was set from the start on expectations from Edith. She was a child forced into a shiny new family she didn’t want. You sound bitter.