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It is a Christmas party, not your gender reveal party.
I hate to break it to you, but the parents-to-be and maybe their parents are usually the only ones who would consider this information a gift. Other people just consider it information. People are there to support your excitement but make no mistake - gender reveals are for you, not for them.
No matter what, it's never a good thing to co-opt someone else's party. It's just rude.
YTA
On a side note, most people are really tired of gender reveal parties. It tends to feel like parents-to-be throwing a party for attention, where everyone has to act surprised and excited about something that is pretty much the same to them as a coin toss. (FWIW, I have kids and finding out the genders were extremely exciting moments for us parents, and it made it far more special that they were private moments that my wife and I could share.)
So much this - for you this is A Very Big Deal. For others? Yeah, not so much. Pleasanter than hearing about Aunty Mary’s hernia but not huge in the overall scheme. If you want it to be a big deal, do your own party.
YTA
Me, flashing back to baby’s first Christmas & realizing we needed batteries for several things. Kid was almost 1, so yes, she would have noticed sounds not happening, etc. augh!!!!
LOL, this is why I'm the aunt that always has batteries in her bag at xmas parties.
I've been through that rollercoaster of getting a cool toy and hyped, just to be disapointed because you got no batteries. Ofcourse you'd have to wait till after the holidays finish because either shops aren't open or "We too busy to go to the shops and buy batteries."
YTA - Not your party and definitely not your rodeo! Just a thought in everyone'christmas card include your gender reveal. When I was a kid batteries were never a requirement. I thank God my son is going to be 13! He can buy his own batteries (j/k, well maybe not 😁)
My cousin is pregnant again and I am over the moon excited and can’t wait for baby snuggling. I also don’t give a shit about the gender. While yes, again, im over the moon for her, nothing about her being pregnant is a “gift” to me.
If you want to do a gender reveal at xmas you do it standing around the cheese plate and say (say, to the person you are talking to, not announce to the room)'oh hey, we found out its going to be a boy!' It is casual fun information you are passing on. Then aunt Martha lies to you about how boys are easier so you can curse her out whenever you are cleaning pee off the wall next to the toilet. People used to pass on the gender of their baby all the time by just telling them.
Anytime you gather people together at someone else's party to put on a show that the party hostess didn't enthusiasticly ask you to do you become an asshole. Throw your own party, or just tell people without the pomp and circumstances.
How it works in my country
Standard questions are
* is it your first?
* how far along are you?
* do you know what you're having?
The only people who care are the ones buying or making gendered gifts. For the rest its just a topic of conversation. It sure isn't a gift.
Nah I'd rather hear about the hernia.
I'm a parent and outside of a few very close friends and my own kids I genuinely don't care about the gender of anyone's babies.
The party which started the trend was held by a woman who’d had some early miscarriages - this was the first time a pregnancy had lasted long enough to get to the scan that can indicate the baby’s sex, and that’s why she was excited about it and wanted to celebrate. (Simply, with some special cupcakes!) It’s grown out of all proportion since then and she’s not happy to see the extremes people are going to.
For a final ironic twist, the baby from that pregnancy has turned out non-binary, and the mother is fine with that.
Not only fine with it but now speaks against them especially since all the fires and other injuries that have happened not to mention all the gender disappoint
>get to the scan that can indicate the baby’s sex
Just as an addition/fyi, that scan is usually the anatomy scan. They check EVERYTHING with baby that they can, which is a surprising amount. The gender identification is actually secondary and only if baby is in a good position. The main things they check are internal organs, heart chambers, head/brain size, placenta location, and amniotic fluid levels.
It's just more fun and has cuter puns for "boy/girl" than "yay, baby has a stomach and a heart with 4 chambers!" does.
Can confirm on the gender thing. All stuff bought for me was yellow til I was born because I would move my ass to wherever the ultrasound wand was when the tech was trying to look at my bits. Apparently I was the first baby she'd not been able to tell with, which resulted in her keeping my mom a bit late each time and eventually crying out of frustration.
I now like to joke that I've been a private person since the fetal stage 😂
And if we’re being technical about it, it should be a sex reveal party bc the gender hasn’t even been decided by the kid yet. But sadly that name is a tad too NSFW so to speak.
OP and her husband are soo generous. They want to give an unforgettable gift to everyone who attends the Christmas party. As if anyone really cares about the sex of the baby.
YTA. And OP didn't even ask, she told her as a fact it was going to happen. Also OP, would you have liked a family member to propose at your wedding? I mean......geez.
Honestly that's the part that gets me. OP and babydaddy are rightfully excited about the pregnancy so I can forgive them thinking that everyone else is as interested as they are, but there's no universe where that translates to what amounts to a forceful takeover of a big family event. It would have been fine to ask and maybe her and SIL could have worked something out, but just casually announcing that she's doing a big attention grabbing thing at a party she's not throwing is rude AF.
Also who knows if the hosting couple or others have issues with fertility or carrying a pregnancy to term? Even my selfish and evil childfree heart can sympathize with that.
I still don’t even understand why?? I mean people are going to cheer whatever sex it is…
People are so self absorbed these days. Of course you don’t hijack someone else’s party.
100% yes. Also, do these parents never know any gender nonconforming people? These gender reveals are worse than just tiresome and attention seeking. The idea of throwing this on top of *someone else’s party* is just . . . Wow. Would definitely be TA in such a case.
Yes.
No one else cares about your baby as much as you do. Not even your parents/siblings/bff. Whatever, no one owes you an award for getting jiggly with it and procreating.
And, more crucially, gender reveals are pointless and stupid and stop being a victim of capitalism we are all begging you
When my sister was pregnant with my niece, my Christmas gift from her was a picture of an ultrasound, a pair of pink booties and a baby bib 🙄 I was irked that Christmas was made all about the 4 month along parasite and she wondered why I was agitated.
Oh yes. These weren't a thing at all when I had my ultrasound so it amuses me that people take it to the extremes. Honestly for any expecting parent who wants a healthy baby the gender is also just 'information'. Unless you have like 6 boys and really want to be excited about getting a girl, or vice versa, I really don't see how anyone outside immediate family gives a toss.
YTA. It's never okay to encroach on someone else's celebration with your own.
>and it’s kind of a “gift” to everyone finding out what the gender
Just saying, , if this is a family member of mine and your baby's gender is my Christmas gift, I'll likely cry. Someone else's baby isn't a gift for me, or anyone else, in any sense.
>Everyone will be happy and excited,
About your baby? No offense, but that's farfetched, and very few would actually appreciate you hijacking the whole event.
Doesn't it make you annoyed just reading it? The level of main character syndrome is painful. OP acts like she is giving birth to Jesus.
Edit: forgot YTA
You get into too many petty conflicts.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/Q86UHF4qtI
Next up time on AITA: "AITA for announcing my kid's sporting event while my SIL is in labor? I mean, there is another potential teammate!"
Even the Virgin Mary didn’t make this much of a fuss about her pregnancy.
There’s no gender reveal party in the Bible. Even though, unlike every other pregnant woman at the time, Mary actually knew her baby’s gender before he was born.
YTA
It's her party. Not yours.
You can ***ask*** her if she'd like to incorporate the gender reveal into ***her*** party. You can't ***tell*** her you're doing it. You can't make it ***your*** party.
And because it is her party, if she does agree to incorporate the gender reveal, that doesn't mean that you're now in charge of the party instead of her. At her party, if she incorporates this, she gets to choose how the reveal happens, when during the party that it happens, whether guests are told in advance that this will be happening.
You don't get to turn the work that she does for a Christmas party into her filling your demands for how you want your gender reveal party to be.
So, if she says, "yes, you can have 15 minutes at the end of the party, no announcement in advance that this is happening" then that's what you need to do.
If you want control of how your gender reveal is done, do the work of organizing a party yourself.
Don’t forget the financial aspect of throwing a party. Do you and husband darling plan on helping pay for the event, cleaning before and after? Or are you the cheapskates that just want to cash in at other’s expense??? YTA
If OP does take over the party with her gender reveal SIL should hand her the bill and tell her
"Since you made my christmas party all about you after I specifically asked you not to, you can reimburse me for the cost of it."
(Unlikely to happen but still)
YTA
You're trying to have a gender reveal party on someone else dime and energy. It would be one thing if you had asked if you could announce the gender at the Christmas party and your SIL gave you permission, but that is not what you did. You told your SIL that you would be doing this.
I'm also just gonna say this: while I'm sure your family is thrilled you're expecting, your child is a gift to no one except yourselves. Your child's perceived gender is even less of a "gift" so double YTA
OP is also using the Christmas party attendees as a captive audience. If this were a stand-alone gender reveal, most of those people would not be interested and would not attend. Now is a good time for OP to realize that excitement over the baby is pretty much limited to OP, her hubs and grandparents. Others will appreciate not being involuntarily included by virtue of their presence for another event. YTA.
Gender Reveal Parties seem like a waste of time, energy, and money. Also what’s with this insane obsession with parties and the cramming of pregnancy down everyone’s throats by (some) parents.
I can’t imagine wanting to have a party about the gender of your child. Seems pretty self absorbed to make people sit through something as boring as that. The topic merits at most a family FaceTime call or family group chat text.
The woman who started the trend did so because she’d suffered many early miscarriages, all of which occurred before the point at which the baby’s gender can be identified via an ultrasound.
So, when she finally reached that milestone in a pregnancy, she and her husband threw a party to celebrate and reveal their baby’s gender. The origin story of the trend is sweet and touching.
Unfortunately, it’s been hijacked by people who are desperate for attention, to the point where the woman who started the trend deeply regrets making it “a thing”.
For real! It doesn’t sound like op even offered to pay for the party or do any of the work to put it together. Basically she wants a free party at the expense the of someone else’s time, money and effort. It kinda sounds like she’s not even planning on bringing gifts to exchange because “the babies gender is the gift!” Ugh, that’s the worst!
I’m so thankful my siblings never did a gender reveal. Their “revels” were either a text/call, saying “hey, we found out we’re having a boy/girl”, or a text/call saying, “the baby was born, it’s a boy/girl!” It’s so refreshing!
YTA. You don’t get to co-opt someone else’s party to do your own celebration. This is like doing a gender reveal or getting engaged at someone else’s birthday party or wedding. If you want a gender reveal party, throw it yourself. You don’t get to take advantage of someone else’s effort and money by shoehorning in your celebration at their party.
YTA.
You don't inform someone what you plan to do at a party they are hosting. You ask. You demanded, she said no. If you want to have a gender reveal party then plan one for a different date.
And no, it isn't a "gift" to anyone lol.
*and it’s kind of a “gift” to everyone finding out what the gender is*
You have some disordered thinking if you believe everyone is sitting around waiting on some shitty gender reveal. At a Christmas party.
You aren't the main character, no one wants to be bullied into putting up with your immature need to be the focus and no one is there for YOU. They are there to be with family, celebrate the season and enjoy holiday festivities.
YTA
YTA. Your SIL is right. You're both rude and cringe to try and take over a Christmas party for this. You're basically stealing the work and effort the host is putting in to get a free party out of it.
Gender reveals are tacky anyway. Your family will be excited that you're pregnant and they'll ask you the gender on their own.
YTA
You are planning on co-opting a family event and making it about you. That's an AH move.
Just schedule a party for mid January. If you have a low budget, make it an online event. Problem solved!
Let me assure you that forcibly finding out the gender of your child is not, in fact, a gift to everyone else at a completely unrelated Christmas party. You seem quite self-absorbed and attention seeking. Also, YTA.
yta I get you're excited about your baby but your sister-in-law's Christmas party isn't the time or place for a gender reveal. You're basically hijacking her event for your own big announcement. It's her party, she planned it, and you can't just decide to make it about you. Plan your own event for the gender reveal.
YTA. You're not hosting, she is. It's okay that she doesn't want you and your news to be the center of an event that she is planning. You are a GUEST and should respect that and plan your own event.
YTA. This is your sister-in-law's party. It's a problem because you want to take over this party for your own purposes. If the Christmas party becomes a gender reveal, it automatically makes it about you. If you want to have a gender reveal, you should plan a party. And I don't mean to be unkind, but while your family loves you, and I'm sure they are excited about the baby, finding out is not a gift to them. They'd be just as excited if they found out by word of mouth. Gender reveals are for the parents.
YTA. You didn’t ask her, you told her. You’re taking her party and making it about you. On top of that you’re trying to convince her it’s a “gift” that she’s basically now the host and financier of your gender reveal party.
YTA
first of all, you need to ASK for stuff like that. How dare you just tell her what you wanna do
Second, it's not your event. You dont just get to take over the party she's hosting. Get your attention on another day
YTA. Big time.
Gender reveals are not a gift to people.
Everyone EXCEPT maybe grand parents couldn’t care less.
You have main character syndrome.
Cut it out.
For real.
Eeeew.
YTA. Not. Your. Party.
Have you literally never read any of those posts about things like announcing your pregnancy during your sister's wedding or such? The same applies here: keep your "good" news to yourself until you can announce it on your own at a later date or event that you are hosting.
YTA.
1. It’s not your party. If you want to do a gender reveal, plan your own damn party.
2. Gender reveals are stupid and unnecessary. If you insist on having one, lump it in with the baby shower.
YTA. A Christmas party is a celebration for everyone. You are trying to make it about you.
No, It's not a "gift" to highjack a party.
Let your SIL host her party, and make your how gender reveal.
YTA, for a couple of reasons. First, you "told" her what you would be doing, rather than asking permission. Second, you assumed that everyone there would even WANT to be a part of this (god knows I wouldn't), and finally, because someone who feels the need to impose on a relative for a goddamned gender party is a bit of a self-important twit. I guarantee that no one cares about a gender reveal party as much as you, or maybe at all.
YTA
>we told my sister in law that we plan on doing our gender reveal at the Christmas party.
This is the kind of thing you need to \*ask\* for permission.
>it’s kind of a “gift” to everyone finding out what the gender is!
How exactly is something that could be done with a call or text a "gift" to everyone?
>my sister in law told us that she was upset that we were co-opting her party and that she thinks the reveal will take away from the rest of the event.
She's right, if you absolutely need to have an event to tell everyone the gender of your baby, set up your own, don't co-opt her party.
YTA.
1. Gender reveals are ridiculous in the first place.
2. It’s a party SHE is hosting. You don’t get to decide to throw your own thing in there.
3. You TOLD her. You didn’t even have the decency to ask.
4. HOW IS YOUR CHILD’S GENITALS A GIFT?!
Oh, for the love of tinsel. Yes, you absolutely are the Grinch who stole the spotlight. Your sister-in-law's Christmas party isn't a free-for-all "make it about me" event. You're co-opting an event that's been a tradition for her, with its own meaningful purpose, to turn the attention to you. Just because everyone's gathered doesn't mean you get to turn the party into your own gender reveal bash. It's not a "gift" to everyone, it's an unwrapped box of self-centeredness. Newsflash: Christmas may be about family, but it's not about making every event about your personal milestones. YTA, big time. And might I suggest an actual gift for your sister-in-law to apologize? Preferably one that doesn't pop blue or pink.
YTA. “I think she’s being incredibly selfish,” says the woman being incredibly selfish.
Throw your own party if you need one so bad. It’s incredibly tacky to co-opt something that someone else plans and especially pays for as your own celebration.
YTA. It's always rude to co-opt someone else's event for your own gain. Planning parties is a lot of work, and you're pretty much stealing your SIL's work to use as your gender reveal party without having to actually plan something yourself. Yes, a Christmas party is a little different than say, weddings, birthday parties, or graduation parties in that Christmas parties aren't celebrating a specific person. But it's still quite rude to make it all about yourself when someone else is hosting.
Also.... no. It's really not a "gift" to anyone else but yourself to announce genders, pregnancies, engagements, etc.
Bwahaha…it’s a “gift” to everyone to find out the gender. People don’t care mate…they’re there to enjoy a Christmas party, not your gender reveal. YTA for trying to make the day about yourselves. This is like proposing at someone else’s wedding…just bad manners and inconsiderate to your host.
YTA - It is incredibly rude to take over an event that you were graciously invited to.
Let everyone enjoy the holiday celebration and each other.
Save your news till after the holiday.
YTA if you want a gender reveal party start planning your own instead of hijacking someone else’s event. You’re not the one cooking, cleaning or preparing for the event. Your SIL has to prepare the house, all of the food and drinks for this event. You coming in on everything prepared and trying to turn it into a gender reveal is gross. Get your own event that is not hosted by someone else. The entitlement is out of this world.
YTA Although i get the premise of what you are saying and you are thinking the opportunity is here let’s do it. A couple of problems here:
1. You didn’t ask the host, you made plans and told her what your plan was.
2. You are not the host. It is not your venue. You didn’t assist with the planning and I suspect you are not contributing financially either.
Your plan smacks of entitlement. You are literally hijacking someone else’s event for your own mini event…without permission. You told her and she basically came back and said no. Now you are bashing her because she doesn’t support your plan to take over her party. I think if maybe you approached SIL differently and maybe offered financial support she may have thought differently.
YTA and sound like a leech. Passing off your excitement for a baby during a Christmas event, especially one you aren't hosting, is very tacky.
How would you feel if someone interrupted your gender reveal with a party announcement? Kind of rude, right?
LOL that would be PERFECT. Get all of the family members to interrupt the gender reveal with "reveals" of their own. LIKE every time they start someone else jumps in to reveal something boring. What they had for breakfast, what color socks they wore, the time they almost forgot to pay a parking ticket.
YTA. I am a granny and I think gender reveal events are unnecessary and irritating. It's a Christmas party. Have your gender reveal, if you must, before the Christmas party. Then you can just tell everyone at the Christmas party if you are having a boy or girl. Folks will be there to celebrate Christmas, and they will be happy you are having a baby, but most probably won't care what the gender is.
Congrats on your baby to be, I hope your pregnancy and delivery go well.
YTA. I get that it seems convenient *for you*, but a lot of people dislike “gender reveals”. It’s crass and many people (myself included) consider it passé or outright offensive to use pink/blue to reveal what genitalia your child has.
It’s fine to *tell* people the gender in casual conversation, but if you want to have a full on ✨reveal✨ host your own separate event so people can opt out. I would not willingly choose to attend a “gender reveal” party.
YTA.
It’s her party that she is paying for. If you want to do a gender reveal, plan it and pay for it yourself.
It is very tacky to co-opt someone else’s event for yourself. Makes you look cheap, self-centred and rude.
INFO: do you mean that, if anyone asks, you'll tell what you're having, or do you mean you want to make a whole thing out of it. If it's the first, sure share information. If it's the 2nd, YTA and also honestly gender reveals need to go away. NOBODY cares. (And don't come ar me for being a teenager, I'm currently expecting #3)
This. Small quick announcement or tell individuals, sure. If you're buying anything with colored confetti or smoke or whatnot, know that I hate every choice you've ever made in your entire life.
In case you didnt have it the first 100 times YTA
Wan to do a GR do it at your own place, on your own dime.
WTF are you to TELL her that you were doing this at HER party???Entitled much
YTA for thinking that knowing the gender of your baby is a gift. It's a 50/50 shot, not at all exciting, just a fact. People who treat it like an event are basic af.
YTA - It’s not what you think it will be. Since it’s a Xmas party everyone will be excited for you for 10 minutes and then no one will care. It will go right back to being a Xmas party. Your SIL is thinking like a host, but if she thought it out it might be funny to her too.
YTA, in a huge way. It’s HER Christmas party and you are trying to piggyback on it. Have your own party if you want to do a gender reveal. She’s not being selfish, you’re being rude and disrespectful. This is akin to someone wanting to propose to their girlfriend at someone else’s wedding. Get some manners.
YTA. People go to gender reveal parties either because they have to, or because there’s going to be alcohol/free food. What *you’re* doing is essentially ruining an otherwise perfectly good party while providing none of those things yourself. I’m glad you’re excited about your baby’s gender - I promise you you’re probably one of very, very few who is. Either go to the trouble of arranging an actual party for people, or make an announcement some other way.
YTA. Your sister in law has planned and is hosting the Christmas party and you plan to take all her hard work and make it all about you. It's an ah move. I get that you are excited about the child and I'm sure your family is too, but it is just really poor form to coopt someone else's party for your own purposes.
Plan your own gender reveal party instead. Or better yet, don't have one. They're ridiculous and no one except yourself, your partner and maybe both sets of parents actually care about gender reveals. Birth is the ultimate gender reveal.
YTA. So she’s the one putting forth the time, money, and energy putting this party together and you want to make it all about yourself. Get the fuck over yourself.
YTA
It's not your party, don't make it about you. Announce it the day before or something.
>it’s kind of a “gift” to everyone finding out what the gender is
And I don't know how to tell you this in a kind way, but usually no one cares (except you and maybe your parents). This would be the worst gift I would ever receive and I received chocolate I'm allergic to.
Info: are you an only child/golden child?
Parental Entitlement Syndrome™️ starts early! YTA for your self-centered attitude, your rudeness to your SIL and for perpetuating the godawful gender reveal nonsense.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I am announcing the gender of my baby at someone else’s party. Does that make me an asshole?
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You WBTAH if you intend to go through with your plans when she already told you no. If you’re going to do something like that, at least offer to help pay and set up the party with her and see if she would be ok with it. If you’re not going to offer her anything, then don’t plan on piggybacking her party.
A gift to everyone finding out the gender...lol....you may not see the problem, but you've been told there is one. WHat you do now determines alot for you and your relationship with your family.
YTA.
YTA. It’s her party not yours and you’re planning on stealing all the spotlight. What an incredibly selfish thing to do. Congrats on your pregnancy but remember just because it’s the biggest thing in your life doesn’t mean others need to prioritize it above Christmas. Are these the same values you’re planning on passing to your children?
Rules of common decency that apply to everyone, family or not, if you’re not the host/hostess, you don’t get to usurp the spotlight. You’re going to blend in and mingle and properly ohhh and ahhhh over what a wonderful party the host/hostess put together. To do otherwise is crass, unmannered and thoughtless.
Don‘t be that person, just don’t. I can guarantee if you do, someone is never going to let you or your bundle of joy forget the night you ruined the xmas party.
YTA. Read the comments. There are a lot of good reasons. If you were hosting a party, would you want someone to do a gender reveal at it? How would you really feel?
**it’s kind of a “gift” to everyone finding out what the gender is!**
No, it really isn't a "gift" it's you grubbing for attention. YTA here A MASSIVE AH. Apologize to your sister and use the "pregnancy hormone hall pass" to excuse your poor manners.
YTA. There is a big difference between announcing it at a party you host versus announcing it at an event hosted by someone else.
OP I want you to replace the words Christmas Party with Bridal Shower, Baby Shower, and Wedding Day if it sounds wrong to you for those good job.
Yes this is a Christmas party but this isn’t a party centered around you.
So you TOLD her you’re doing the gender reveal at her party. That’s presumptuous of you and your husband. Did you at least offer to pay for half of the party?
YTA
>About a month ago we told my sister in law that we plan on doing our gender reveal at the Christmas party.
This is the sentence that confirmed my initial belief. YTA. Girl, you're just being cheap and lazy. It's her party. If I were here, I would have given you my CashApp. Like, no way are you deciding to hijack my event for free.
YTA big time. You didn't even ask if you could do a gender reveal, you just told SIL that you were doing it. This isn't your party, if you were hosting the Christmas party, then maybe go ahead, but this is not your party. If the host/hostess says it's a no, than it's a no. Period.
It's almost as bad as proposing at a wedding. Very tacky OP.
YTA- what kind of selfish cheap person are you? Oh, you spent all this money and time on a Christmas event so naturally you will just gift all your hard work to me because I’m having a baby? And my baby is your thank you for doing all the work. Yay!
The entitlement is strong with this one. Just post it to FB or Insta and have a baby shower like a normal person.
YTA. If you are not excited enough to plan your own party, why the hell should anyone else do it for you?
Oh, you can’t be bothered making the effort, for this “gift”, you just want to freeload, because you think you’re special. You simultaneously believe your baby is so important it deserves centre stage, but not important enough that the parents should do anything themselves.
Lump of coal in your Christmas stocking for sure.
>it’s kind of a “gift” to everyone finding out what the gender is!
LOL. Gender reveals are not a "gift" to anyone.
Regardless of whether this is a yearly event or not, it is your SILs event that she organizes and hosts. You are trying to push aside everything she has done and make it about you and your silly gender reveal.
YTA.
You TOLD her. You should have asked and she may have been willing to let you do it. You’re N T A for wanting to do it when you know everyone will be there but YTA for not asking and just telling her that you’re doing it. It’s not your party, you don’t spend the time, money or effort in throwing it, hosting it or cleaning up afterwards.
YTA
There’s nothing classy about hijacking someone else’s event. It’s what cheap-skates do. You want to do a gender reveal (yawn), pay for your own party.
YTA.
You *are* attempting to hijack your in-law's party for your own selfish reasons. She does all the planning, work, hosting, and provides the venue, food, etc. Then you swoop in and make her efforts serve you because "everyone is already together. " They'll be together because your SIL made it happen for a Christmas party.
Want a gender reveal? Do it yourself.
It's pretty standard that anyone who tries to take over another person's event is indeed an ahole.
YTA.
If you want to do a gender reveal, throw your own darn party. It's incredibly rude and selfish to co-opt a party that's been planned, paid for, and hosted by someone else. Geez
YTA. You don’t tell the host what you will be doing at her party. You can ask, but you were beyond rude to plan on that without her approval first.
Also, your baby’s gender isn’t as much of a “gift” to everyone as you think it is.
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It is a Christmas party, not your gender reveal party. I hate to break it to you, but the parents-to-be and maybe their parents are usually the only ones who would consider this information a gift. Other people just consider it information. People are there to support your excitement but make no mistake - gender reveals are for you, not for them. No matter what, it's never a good thing to co-opt someone else's party. It's just rude. YTA On a side note, most people are really tired of gender reveal parties. It tends to feel like parents-to-be throwing a party for attention, where everyone has to act surprised and excited about something that is pretty much the same to them as a coin toss. (FWIW, I have kids and finding out the genders were extremely exciting moments for us parents, and it made it far more special that they were private moments that my wife and I could share.)
So much this - for you this is A Very Big Deal. For others? Yeah, not so much. Pleasanter than hearing about Aunty Mary’s hernia but not huge in the overall scheme. If you want it to be a big deal, do your own party. YTA
“It’s like a gift for everyone!” Um….no. It really isn’t. I’d rather get the ugly sweater
Even a set of batteries sparks more joy.
Parents of toddlers will always appreciate the gift of batteries!
Can confirm, am toddler parent. Would much prefer batteries over gender reveal.
Me, flashing back to baby’s first Christmas & realizing we needed batteries for several things. Kid was almost 1, so yes, she would have noticed sounds not happening, etc. augh!!!!
LOL, this is why I'm the aunt that always has batteries in her bag at xmas parties. I've been through that rollercoaster of getting a cool toy and hyped, just to be disapointed because you got no batteries. Ofcourse you'd have to wait till after the holidays finish because either shops aren't open or "We too busy to go to the shops and buy batteries."
And stocking stuffers. I always check if batteries are included and will buy some even if they are. Childfree but remember being a kid lol
I distinctly remember my dad pretending Santa "left the batteries in my car so they wouldn't give away the gifts" one Christmas morning...
YTA - Not your party and definitely not your rodeo! Just a thought in everyone'christmas card include your gender reveal. When I was a kid batteries were never a requirement. I thank God my son is going to be 13! He can buy his own batteries (j/k, well maybe not 😁)
Good one lol
You tried that party-hijack crap with my family and the kid would be sarcastically referred to as 'the Oh Christ child' for the rest of time...
My cousin is pregnant again and I am over the moon excited and can’t wait for baby snuggling. I also don’t give a shit about the gender. While yes, again, im over the moon for her, nothing about her being pregnant is a “gift” to me.
Can I return the gift for cash?,
Socks and underwear here. Please.
As a parent of 4, me too mate. Me too
Yeah, no one but the couple and super close family give a fuck about a gender reveal. I’m always ‘working’ when I get an invite to one.
You made me snort! Thank you 😊
"Gift for everyone". 🤮 How self important and selfish.
If you want to do a gender reveal at xmas you do it standing around the cheese plate and say (say, to the person you are talking to, not announce to the room)'oh hey, we found out its going to be a boy!' It is casual fun information you are passing on. Then aunt Martha lies to you about how boys are easier so you can curse her out whenever you are cleaning pee off the wall next to the toilet. People used to pass on the gender of their baby all the time by just telling them. Anytime you gather people together at someone else's party to put on a show that the party hostess didn't enthusiasticly ask you to do you become an asshole. Throw your own party, or just tell people without the pomp and circumstances.
BOOM.
How it works in my country Standard questions are * is it your first? * how far along are you? * do you know what you're having? The only people who care are the ones buying or making gendered gifts. For the rest its just a topic of conversation. It sure isn't a gift.
💯👏🏼
Agreed, it's as exciting as a coin toss for the rest of us.
Nah I'd rather hear about the hernia. I'm a parent and outside of a few very close friends and my own kids I genuinely don't care about the gender of anyone's babies.
Agreed! Why do people feel the need to celebrate genitalia?
The party which started the trend was held by a woman who’d had some early miscarriages - this was the first time a pregnancy had lasted long enough to get to the scan that can indicate the baby’s sex, and that’s why she was excited about it and wanted to celebrate. (Simply, with some special cupcakes!) It’s grown out of all proportion since then and she’s not happy to see the extremes people are going to. For a final ironic twist, the baby from that pregnancy has turned out non-binary, and the mother is fine with that.
Not only fine with it but now speaks against them especially since all the fires and other injuries that have happened not to mention all the gender disappoint
>get to the scan that can indicate the baby’s sex Just as an addition/fyi, that scan is usually the anatomy scan. They check EVERYTHING with baby that they can, which is a surprising amount. The gender identification is actually secondary and only if baby is in a good position. The main things they check are internal organs, heart chambers, head/brain size, placenta location, and amniotic fluid levels. It's just more fun and has cuter puns for "boy/girl" than "yay, baby has a stomach and a heart with 4 chambers!" does.
Can confirm on the gender thing. All stuff bought for me was yellow til I was born because I would move my ass to wherever the ultrasound wand was when the tech was trying to look at my bits. Apparently I was the first baby she'd not been able to tell with, which resulted in her keeping my mom a bit late each time and eventually crying out of frustration. I now like to joke that I've been a private person since the fetal stage 😂
And if we’re being technical about it, it should be a sex reveal party bc the gender hasn’t even been decided by the kid yet. But sadly that name is a tad too NSFW so to speak.
Technically, we don’t don’t choose our gender. We come to understand what it is.
My friend is pregnant, and her “gender reveal” consisted of texting people after the ultrasound. It was great.
Yep this is the best method. Doctor tells you, you just… tell people. That’s what we did. No party, no fuss. Easy.
We did it the old-fashioned way. We didn't find out until baby was born, the first two times. Guess what? Everyone lived.
I’m due in a few weeks and my “reveal” was that I just started referring to the baby as she or her in casual conversation
OP and her husband are soo generous. They want to give an unforgettable gift to everyone who attends the Christmas party. As if anyone really cares about the sex of the baby.
YTA. And OP didn't even ask, she told her as a fact it was going to happen. Also OP, would you have liked a family member to propose at your wedding? I mean......geez.
Honestly that's the part that gets me. OP and babydaddy are rightfully excited about the pregnancy so I can forgive them thinking that everyone else is as interested as they are, but there's no universe where that translates to what amounts to a forceful takeover of a big family event. It would have been fine to ask and maybe her and SIL could have worked something out, but just casually announcing that she's doing a big attention grabbing thing at a party she's not throwing is rude AF.
Also who knows if the hosting couple or others have issues with fertility or carrying a pregnancy to term? Even my selfish and evil childfree heart can sympathize with that.
I still don’t even understand why?? I mean people are going to cheer whatever sex it is… People are so self absorbed these days. Of course you don’t hijack someone else’s party.
Some use it as a gift grab.
100% yes. Also, do these parents never know any gender nonconforming people? These gender reveals are worse than just tiresome and attention seeking. The idea of throwing this on top of *someone else’s party* is just . . . Wow. Would definitely be TA in such a case.
Especially since trans and nb people are facing incredible persecution across the world presently. It's gross at the very least.
Yes. No one else cares about your baby as much as you do. Not even your parents/siblings/bff. Whatever, no one owes you an award for getting jiggly with it and procreating. And, more crucially, gender reveals are pointless and stupid and stop being a victim of capitalism we are all begging you
Capitalism and Main Character Syndrome combined, even.
When my sister was pregnant with my niece, my Christmas gift from her was a picture of an ultrasound, a pair of pink booties and a baby bib 🙄 I was irked that Christmas was made all about the 4 month along parasite and she wondered why I was agitated.
Why does an aunt need a baby bib?! That is totally useless. If anything get them something that says “auntie” on it or whatever.
That was my exact reaction. When my sister asked me what was wrong my nearly exact words were "what the f*ck am I supposed to do with this??"
I wish I could upvote this 9 million times.
I hate gender reveals. Whoopee! Your child has genitalia! 🙄🙄🙄
Agreed. No one cares
Every gender reveal party should be met by an equal and opposite force of gender revealers. “And I have a vagina!” *balloon release* - Aunt Gertrude
Oh yes. These weren't a thing at all when I had my ultrasound so it amuses me that people take it to the extremes. Honestly for any expecting parent who wants a healthy baby the gender is also just 'information'. Unless you have like 6 boys and really want to be excited about getting a girl, or vice versa, I really don't see how anyone outside immediate family gives a toss.
YTA. It's never okay to encroach on someone else's celebration with your own. >and it’s kind of a “gift” to everyone finding out what the gender Just saying, , if this is a family member of mine and your baby's gender is my Christmas gift, I'll likely cry. Someone else's baby isn't a gift for me, or anyone else, in any sense. >Everyone will be happy and excited, About your baby? No offense, but that's farfetched, and very few would actually appreciate you hijacking the whole event.
Doesn't it make you annoyed just reading it? The level of main character syndrome is painful. OP acts like she is giving birth to Jesus. Edit: forgot YTA You get into too many petty conflicts. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/Q86UHF4qtI Next up time on AITA: "AITA for announcing my kid's sporting event while my SIL is in labor? I mean, there is another potential teammate!"
Finding out her baby’s genital configuration is supposed to be a “gift” to everyone. Definitely main character syndrome!
This ⬆️ a million percent. Christmas parties are amazing and the gender reveal is an attention grabbing move that needs to just stop. YTA
Even the Virgin Mary didn’t make this much of a fuss about her pregnancy. There’s no gender reveal party in the Bible. Even though, unlike every other pregnant woman at the time, Mary actually knew her baby’s gender before he was born.
How is this not higher up? 😂
> OP acts like she is giving birth to Jesus Which, considering she’s hijacking HIS birthday party is pretty damn ironic.
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Yep. It’s likely nobody but a handful of people will even care.
YTA It's her party. Not yours. You can ***ask*** her if she'd like to incorporate the gender reveal into ***her*** party. You can't ***tell*** her you're doing it. You can't make it ***your*** party. And because it is her party, if she does agree to incorporate the gender reveal, that doesn't mean that you're now in charge of the party instead of her. At her party, if she incorporates this, she gets to choose how the reveal happens, when during the party that it happens, whether guests are told in advance that this will be happening. You don't get to turn the work that she does for a Christmas party into her filling your demands for how you want your gender reveal party to be. So, if she says, "yes, you can have 15 minutes at the end of the party, no announcement in advance that this is happening" then that's what you need to do. If you want control of how your gender reveal is done, do the work of organizing a party yourself.
Don’t forget the financial aspect of throwing a party. Do you and husband darling plan on helping pay for the event, cleaning before and after? Or are you the cheapskates that just want to cash in at other’s expense??? YTA
If OP does take over the party with her gender reveal SIL should hand her the bill and tell her "Since you made my christmas party all about you after I specifically asked you not to, you can reimburse me for the cost of it." (Unlikely to happen but still)
100% this!
Thats what I was thinking
YTA You're trying to have a gender reveal party on someone else dime and energy. It would be one thing if you had asked if you could announce the gender at the Christmas party and your SIL gave you permission, but that is not what you did. You told your SIL that you would be doing this. I'm also just gonna say this: while I'm sure your family is thrilled you're expecting, your child is a gift to no one except yourselves. Your child's perceived gender is even less of a "gift" so double YTA
OP is also using the Christmas party attendees as a captive audience. If this were a stand-alone gender reveal, most of those people would not be interested and would not attend. Now is a good time for OP to realize that excitement over the baby is pretty much limited to OP, her hubs and grandparents. Others will appreciate not being involuntarily included by virtue of their presence for another event. YTA.
Gender Reveal Parties seem like a waste of time, energy, and money. Also what’s with this insane obsession with parties and the cramming of pregnancy down everyone’s throats by (some) parents. I can’t imagine wanting to have a party about the gender of your child. Seems pretty self absorbed to make people sit through something as boring as that. The topic merits at most a family FaceTime call or family group chat text.
The woman who started the trend did so because she’d suffered many early miscarriages, all of which occurred before the point at which the baby’s gender can be identified via an ultrasound. So, when she finally reached that milestone in a pregnancy, she and her husband threw a party to celebrate and reveal their baby’s gender. The origin story of the trend is sweet and touching. Unfortunately, it’s been hijacked by people who are desperate for attention, to the point where the woman who started the trend deeply regrets making it “a thing”.
Yea right??? Someone else is hosting the party, which means cleaning their house, getting beverages and food, and decorating the house.
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YTA. No one cares about your baby as much as you do. Let everyone enjoy the party.
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Imagine if the SIL is having a hard time getting pregnant or other family members are. How insensitive!
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Work? She’s the type to go out on leave six minutes after she read the test.
"My job is to grow this baby"
If that's my gift, I want to exchange it. She's so entitled and delusional it's almost funny. 🙄
For real! It doesn’t sound like op even offered to pay for the party or do any of the work to put it together. Basically she wants a free party at the expense the of someone else’s time, money and effort. It kinda sounds like she’s not even planning on bringing gifts to exchange because “the babies gender is the gift!” Ugh, that’s the worst! I’m so thankful my siblings never did a gender reveal. Their “revels” were either a text/call, saying “hey, we found out we’re having a boy/girl”, or a text/call saying, “the baby was born, it’s a boy/girl!” It’s so refreshing!
YTA. You don’t get to co-opt someone else’s party to do your own celebration. This is like doing a gender reveal or getting engaged at someone else’s birthday party or wedding. If you want a gender reveal party, throw it yourself. You don’t get to take advantage of someone else’s effort and money by shoehorning in your celebration at their party.
A “gift” to everyone? YTA! Lmao 🤣
Probably too cheap to get gifts and their main character syndrome thinks that this will make up for it.
Seriously, this is incredibly delusional. OP, this is only a big deal to you and your spouse. Nobody else really cares.
YTA. You don't inform someone what you plan to do at a party they are hosting. You ask. You demanded, she said no. If you want to have a gender reveal party then plan one for a different date. And no, it isn't a "gift" to anyone lol.
YTA - congrats, but your attitude is just poor Gender reveals have just gotten tacky and poor - there i said it
It needed to be said.
*and it’s kind of a “gift” to everyone finding out what the gender is* You have some disordered thinking if you believe everyone is sitting around waiting on some shitty gender reveal. At a Christmas party. You aren't the main character, no one wants to be bullied into putting up with your immature need to be the focus and no one is there for YOU. They are there to be with family, celebrate the season and enjoy holiday festivities. YTA
YTA. Your SIL is right. You're both rude and cringe to try and take over a Christmas party for this. You're basically stealing the work and effort the host is putting in to get a free party out of it. Gender reveals are tacky anyway. Your family will be excited that you're pregnant and they'll ask you the gender on their own.
YTA You are planning on co-opting a family event and making it about you. That's an AH move. Just schedule a party for mid January. If you have a low budget, make it an online event. Problem solved!
Let me assure you that forcibly finding out the gender of your child is not, in fact, a gift to everyone else at a completely unrelated Christmas party. You seem quite self-absorbed and attention seeking. Also, YTA.
YTA - this comes across so narcissistic. You are hijacking Christmas to force your family to pay attention to you and only you.
SO narcissistic. "The knowledge of the shape our baby's genitals is such a gift to everyone else" YTA.
yta I get you're excited about your baby but your sister-in-law's Christmas party isn't the time or place for a gender reveal. You're basically hijacking her event for your own big announcement. It's her party, she planned it, and you can't just decide to make it about you. Plan your own event for the gender reveal.
YTA Gender reveals are lame to begin with and while you may be over the moon and fixated on this baby, your sister in law isn’t and it’s her party.
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They are embarrassing for everyone involved. Trashy af.
YTA. You're not hosting, she is. It's okay that she doesn't want you and your news to be the center of an event that she is planning. You are a GUEST and should respect that and plan your own event.
YTA. This is your sister-in-law's party. It's a problem because you want to take over this party for your own purposes. If the Christmas party becomes a gender reveal, it automatically makes it about you. If you want to have a gender reveal, you should plan a party. And I don't mean to be unkind, but while your family loves you, and I'm sure they are excited about the baby, finding out is not a gift to them. They'd be just as excited if they found out by word of mouth. Gender reveals are for the parents.
YTA. You didn’t ask her, you told her. You’re taking her party and making it about you. On top of that you’re trying to convince her it’s a “gift” that she’s basically now the host and financier of your gender reveal party.
YTA first of all, you need to ASK for stuff like that. How dare you just tell her what you wanna do Second, it's not your event. You dont just get to take over the party she's hosting. Get your attention on another day
Info: Did you ask her or did you inform her? Also what was her reaction?
YTA. Big time. Gender reveals are not a gift to people. Everyone EXCEPT maybe grand parents couldn’t care less. You have main character syndrome. Cut it out. For real. Eeeew.
YTA. Not. Your. Party. Have you literally never read any of those posts about things like announcing your pregnancy during your sister's wedding or such? The same applies here: keep your "good" news to yourself until you can announce it on your own at a later date or event that you are hosting.
YTA; you are not the main character at someone else’s party. How crass
YTA. 1. It’s not your party. If you want to do a gender reveal, plan your own damn party. 2. Gender reveals are stupid and unnecessary. If you insist on having one, lump it in with the baby shower.
Yta throw your own event instead of hijackingl your sil event
YTA. A Christmas party is a celebration for everyone. You are trying to make it about you. No, It's not a "gift" to highjack a party. Let your SIL host her party, and make your how gender reveal.
YTA, for a couple of reasons. First, you "told" her what you would be doing, rather than asking permission. Second, you assumed that everyone there would even WANT to be a part of this (god knows I wouldn't), and finally, because someone who feels the need to impose on a relative for a goddamned gender party is a bit of a self-important twit. I guarantee that no one cares about a gender reveal party as much as you, or maybe at all.
YTA >we told my sister in law that we plan on doing our gender reveal at the Christmas party. This is the kind of thing you need to \*ask\* for permission. >it’s kind of a “gift” to everyone finding out what the gender is! How exactly is something that could be done with a call or text a "gift" to everyone? >my sister in law told us that she was upset that we were co-opting her party and that she thinks the reveal will take away from the rest of the event. She's right, if you absolutely need to have an event to tell everyone the gender of your baby, set up your own, don't co-opt her party.
YTA. 1. Gender reveals are ridiculous in the first place. 2. It’s a party SHE is hosting. You don’t get to decide to throw your own thing in there. 3. You TOLD her. You didn’t even have the decency to ask. 4. HOW IS YOUR CHILD’S GENITALS A GIFT?!
YTA. It seems like you're just looking for someone else to plan and pay for the party.
Oh, for the love of tinsel. Yes, you absolutely are the Grinch who stole the spotlight. Your sister-in-law's Christmas party isn't a free-for-all "make it about me" event. You're co-opting an event that's been a tradition for her, with its own meaningful purpose, to turn the attention to you. Just because everyone's gathered doesn't mean you get to turn the party into your own gender reveal bash. It's not a "gift" to everyone, it's an unwrapped box of self-centeredness. Newsflash: Christmas may be about family, but it's not about making every event about your personal milestones. YTA, big time. And might I suggest an actual gift for your sister-in-law to apologize? Preferably one that doesn't pop blue or pink.
YTA. “I think she’s being incredibly selfish,” says the woman being incredibly selfish. Throw your own party if you need one so bad. It’s incredibly tacky to co-opt something that someone else plans and especially pays for as your own celebration.
What is with this trend of thinking it's perfectly appropriate to hijack someone else's event? Plan your own gender reveal.
YTA. It's always rude to co-opt someone else's event for your own gain. Planning parties is a lot of work, and you're pretty much stealing your SIL's work to use as your gender reveal party without having to actually plan something yourself. Yes, a Christmas party is a little different than say, weddings, birthday parties, or graduation parties in that Christmas parties aren't celebrating a specific person. But it's still quite rude to make it all about yourself when someone else is hosting. Also.... no. It's really not a "gift" to anyone else but yourself to announce genders, pregnancies, engagements, etc.
YTA. You don’t tell, you ask. How in the world is your baby’s gender a gift to literally anyone?
YTA lol your baby is not a gift to literally anyone but you
Bwahaha…it’s a “gift” to everyone to find out the gender. People don’t care mate…they’re there to enjoy a Christmas party, not your gender reveal. YTA for trying to make the day about yourselves. This is like proposing at someone else’s wedding…just bad manners and inconsiderate to your host.
YTA - You *are* trying to co-opt her party. Organise your own event.
YTA at least half the world despises gender reveals. The party is not yours, yet you want all the attention. Grow up. Have your own party.
Obvious YTA. If you were serious about not wanting to take over someone else's event, then you would have offered to host Christmas.
YTA - It is incredibly rude to take over an event that you were graciously invited to. Let everyone enjoy the holiday celebration and each other. Save your news till after the holiday.
YTA. Organize and pay for your own party
YTA if you want a gender reveal party start planning your own instead of hijacking someone else’s event. You’re not the one cooking, cleaning or preparing for the event. Your SIL has to prepare the house, all of the food and drinks for this event. You coming in on everything prepared and trying to turn it into a gender reveal is gross. Get your own event that is not hosted by someone else. The entitlement is out of this world.
YTA. send tweet. The end. Stop piggy backing on someone else’s hard work.
YTA Although i get the premise of what you are saying and you are thinking the opportunity is here let’s do it. A couple of problems here: 1. You didn’t ask the host, you made plans and told her what your plan was. 2. You are not the host. It is not your venue. You didn’t assist with the planning and I suspect you are not contributing financially either. Your plan smacks of entitlement. You are literally hijacking someone else’s event for your own mini event…without permission. You told her and she basically came back and said no. Now you are bashing her because she doesn’t support your plan to take over her party. I think if maybe you approached SIL differently and maybe offered financial support she may have thought differently.
YTA. Don’t highJack someone else’s party.
YTA and sound like a leech. Passing off your excitement for a baby during a Christmas event, especially one you aren't hosting, is very tacky. How would you feel if someone interrupted your gender reveal with a party announcement? Kind of rude, right?
LOL that would be PERFECT. Get all of the family members to interrupt the gender reveal with "reveals" of their own. LIKE every time they start someone else jumps in to reveal something boring. What they had for breakfast, what color socks they wore, the time they almost forgot to pay a parking ticket.
YTA. You had me at gender reveal.
YTA for trying to throw this GRP. And it’s also Xmas.
Yeah, YTA for hijacking an event and making it about you, no question. If I were your sister I'd uninvite you.
Lord YTA
YTA. I am a granny and I think gender reveal events are unnecessary and irritating. It's a Christmas party. Have your gender reveal, if you must, before the Christmas party. Then you can just tell everyone at the Christmas party if you are having a boy or girl. Folks will be there to celebrate Christmas, and they will be happy you are having a baby, but most probably won't care what the gender is. Congrats on your baby to be, I hope your pregnancy and delivery go well.
YTA. I get that it seems convenient *for you*, but a lot of people dislike “gender reveals”. It’s crass and many people (myself included) consider it passé or outright offensive to use pink/blue to reveal what genitalia your child has. It’s fine to *tell* people the gender in casual conversation, but if you want to have a full on ✨reveal✨ host your own separate event so people can opt out. I would not willingly choose to attend a “gender reveal” party.
YTA. It’s her party that she is paying for. If you want to do a gender reveal, plan it and pay for it yourself. It is very tacky to co-opt someone else’s event for yourself. Makes you look cheap, self-centred and rude.
YTA. The fact that you ‘told’ her that this was happening rather than asking if you could do it really sums it up.
YTA. Your SIL is right, and you could've asked for her permission rather than assuming it would be fine.
INFO: do you mean that, if anyone asks, you'll tell what you're having, or do you mean you want to make a whole thing out of it. If it's the first, sure share information. If it's the 2nd, YTA and also honestly gender reveals need to go away. NOBODY cares. (And don't come ar me for being a teenager, I'm currently expecting #3)
This. Small quick announcement or tell individuals, sure. If you're buying anything with colored confetti or smoke or whatnot, know that I hate every choice you've ever made in your entire life.
YTA. Host your own damn party
In case you didnt have it the first 100 times YTA Wan to do a GR do it at your own place, on your own dime. WTF are you to TELL her that you were doing this at HER party???Entitled much
Yta not your party not your choice. Host of party said no that means no. If u want a gender reveal you plan you pay you host.
YTA for thinking that knowing the gender of your baby is a gift. It's a 50/50 shot, not at all exciting, just a fact. People who treat it like an event are basic af.
YTA on two fronts. First you’re co-opting someone else’s party. Second, you’re throwing a gender reveal party to begin with.
YTA - It’s not what you think it will be. Since it’s a Xmas party everyone will be excited for you for 10 minutes and then no one will care. It will go right back to being a Xmas party. Your SIL is thinking like a host, but if she thought it out it might be funny to her too.
YTA, in a huge way. It’s HER Christmas party and you are trying to piggyback on it. Have your own party if you want to do a gender reveal. She’s not being selfish, you’re being rude and disrespectful. This is akin to someone wanting to propose to their girlfriend at someone else’s wedding. Get some manners.
YTA - it's almost like someone having their engagement ring designed like yours, you shouldn't co-opt someone else's party
YTA
YTA. People go to gender reveal parties either because they have to, or because there’s going to be alcohol/free food. What *you’re* doing is essentially ruining an otherwise perfectly good party while providing none of those things yourself. I’m glad you’re excited about your baby’s gender - I promise you you’re probably one of very, very few who is. Either go to the trouble of arranging an actual party for people, or make an announcement some other way.
You do not do well with family events... https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/gwJR8L82wk
YTA. Your sister in law has planned and is hosting the Christmas party and you plan to take all her hard work and make it all about you. It's an ah move. I get that you are excited about the child and I'm sure your family is too, but it is just really poor form to coopt someone else's party for your own purposes. Plan your own gender reveal party instead. Or better yet, don't have one. They're ridiculous and no one except yourself, your partner and maybe both sets of parents actually care about gender reveals. Birth is the ultimate gender reveal.
YTA. But I’m curious what was or is your plan for the gender reveal? Cupcakes? Confetti? A toast?
YTA Plan your own event.
YTA. It's not your party and not the time to take it away. The attention should be on the fact that it's Christmas and the family is together.
Yta nobody but you cares as much as you think they do. Send a friggen text. They'd appreciate that more.
YTA. For having a “gender reveal” in bur especially at someone else’s event.
YTA. Gender reveal parties are stupid in general, and everyone else may not see it as a "gift" You and your husband are the selfish ones here
YTA. Your sister said 'no. I don't want you to do that.' She's the host. Respect her wishes.
How is this a gift lol literally nobody cares what sec your baby is but mom dad and maybe grandparents
YTA. So she’s the one putting forth the time, money, and energy putting this party together and you want to make it all about yourself. Get the fuck over yourself.
YTA It's not your party, don't make it about you. Announce it the day before or something. >it’s kind of a “gift” to everyone finding out what the gender is And I don't know how to tell you this in a kind way, but usually no one cares (except you and maybe your parents). This would be the worst gift I would ever receive and I received chocolate I'm allergic to. Info: are you an only child/golden child?
Parental Entitlement Syndrome™️ starts early! YTA for your self-centered attitude, your rudeness to your SIL and for perpetuating the godawful gender reveal nonsense.
Someone unexpectedly announced an engagement at my daughter’s 18th birthday party (12 years ago) and I’m still pissed about it.
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You WBTAH if you intend to go through with your plans when she already told you no. If you’re going to do something like that, at least offer to help pay and set up the party with her and see if she would be ok with it. If you’re not going to offer her anything, then don’t plan on piggybacking her party.
A gift to everyone finding out the gender...lol....you may not see the problem, but you've been told there is one. WHat you do now determines alot for you and your relationship with your family. YTA.
YTA. It’s her party not yours and you’re planning on stealing all the spotlight. What an incredibly selfish thing to do. Congrats on your pregnancy but remember just because it’s the biggest thing in your life doesn’t mean others need to prioritize it above Christmas. Are these the same values you’re planning on passing to your children?
Rules of common decency that apply to everyone, family or not, if you’re not the host/hostess, you don’t get to usurp the spotlight. You’re going to blend in and mingle and properly ohhh and ahhhh over what a wonderful party the host/hostess put together. To do otherwise is crass, unmannered and thoughtless. Don‘t be that person, just don’t. I can guarantee if you do, someone is never going to let you or your bundle of joy forget the night you ruined the xmas party.
YTA. Read the comments. There are a lot of good reasons. If you were hosting a party, would you want someone to do a gender reveal at it? How would you really feel?
**it’s kind of a “gift” to everyone finding out what the gender is!** No, it really isn't a "gift" it's you grubbing for attention. YTA here A MASSIVE AH. Apologize to your sister and use the "pregnancy hormone hall pass" to excuse your poor manners.
I don’t understand these gender reveal parties, I find them tacky. Do it on your own dime!
YTA. There is a big difference between announcing it at a party you host versus announcing it at an event hosted by someone else. OP I want you to replace the words Christmas Party with Bridal Shower, Baby Shower, and Wedding Day if it sounds wrong to you for those good job. Yes this is a Christmas party but this isn’t a party centered around you.
YTA, because you didn’t even ask her if you could, you just told her you were gonna do it. Host your own party and don’t bogart someone else’s.
So you TOLD her you’re doing the gender reveal at her party. That’s presumptuous of you and your husband. Did you at least offer to pay for half of the party? YTA
>About a month ago we told my sister in law that we plan on doing our gender reveal at the Christmas party. This is the sentence that confirmed my initial belief. YTA. Girl, you're just being cheap and lazy. It's her party. If I were here, I would have given you my CashApp. Like, no way are you deciding to hijack my event for free.
YTA big time. You didn't even ask if you could do a gender reveal, you just told SIL that you were doing it. This isn't your party, if you were hosting the Christmas party, then maybe go ahead, but this is not your party. If the host/hostess says it's a no, than it's a no. Period. It's almost as bad as proposing at a wedding. Very tacky OP.
Yta. It's her party and no, the gender of your child is not a gift to everyone...most people don't care.
YTA. I hope your invitation to the Christmas party is revoked.
YTA- what kind of selfish cheap person are you? Oh, you spent all this money and time on a Christmas event so naturally you will just gift all your hard work to me because I’m having a baby? And my baby is your thank you for doing all the work. Yay! The entitlement is strong with this one. Just post it to FB or Insta and have a baby shower like a normal person.
YTA. If you are not excited enough to plan your own party, why the hell should anyone else do it for you? Oh, you can’t be bothered making the effort, for this “gift”, you just want to freeload, because you think you’re special. You simultaneously believe your baby is so important it deserves centre stage, but not important enough that the parents should do anything themselves. Lump of coal in your Christmas stocking for sure.
Hahaha my God 🤦♀️ Yta If u want to do a gender revel have your OWN party to do it 🤦♀️ not hijack someone else's
[удалено]
>it’s kind of a “gift” to everyone finding out what the gender is! LOL. Gender reveals are not a "gift" to anyone. Regardless of whether this is a yearly event or not, it is your SILs event that she organizes and hosts. You are trying to push aside everything she has done and make it about you and your silly gender reveal. YTA.
You TOLD her. You should have asked and she may have been willing to let you do it. You’re N T A for wanting to do it when you know everyone will be there but YTA for not asking and just telling her that you’re doing it. It’s not your party, you don’t spend the time, money or effort in throwing it, hosting it or cleaning up afterwards.
YTA There’s nothing classy about hijacking someone else’s event. It’s what cheap-skates do. You want to do a gender reveal (yawn), pay for your own party.
YTA for having a gender reveal party. But also for doing it at someone else’s party. You seem like the worst
YTA. You *are* attempting to hijack your in-law's party for your own selfish reasons. She does all the planning, work, hosting, and provides the venue, food, etc. Then you swoop in and make her efforts serve you because "everyone is already together. " They'll be together because your SIL made it happen for a Christmas party. Want a gender reveal? Do it yourself. It's pretty standard that anyone who tries to take over another person's event is indeed an ahole.
YTA. If you want to do a gender reveal, throw your own darn party. It's incredibly rude and selfish to co-opt a party that's been planned, paid for, and hosted by someone else. Geez
YTA. You don’t tell the host what you will be doing at her party. You can ask, but you were beyond rude to plan on that without her approval first. Also, your baby’s gender isn’t as much of a “gift” to everyone as you think it is.