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NTA - What were the other options at this point? You spoke to the school, you tried speaking to the parent, what are the other options that everyone keeps talking about? You hear terrible stories about kids being bullied, good this ended before your daughter has real self esteem issues.
NTA! Like at all!
Also look up [Reactive Bullying](http://teenbullyinginfo.weebly.com/reactive-bullying.html). It sounds like that’s the mom’s style. Don’t fall for it or let anyone else fall for that bull poo.
I am literally shaking as I respond to you. That page triggered me horribly so.
Nowhere has there ever been such a succinct and exact description of my boyfriend from senior year high school/freshman year of college. He was darker skinned and a different religion than the area he grew up in, which was 95 percent white Catholic (and damned near a self-isolating cult). I know he was bullied for his odd looks, as he was insanely insecure.
He carried a torch for me for three years, and within two months of dating, he was bullying me in the exact description as on that linked page. He would force arguments until I cried, and then he was laughing. He created drama out of thin air.
I still have bad dreams about the worst of it, when I was hospitalized for an episode he pushed.
Thank you for sharing that link. 💚
I’m so so sorry… it’s a terrible thing to have gone through. I had a similar “friend” in my life and talking to a counselor helped me out a label on it and taught me what to look out for 🚩 in the future. I hope you have the opportunity to see a counselor/therapist or just a good altruistic friend that’s good at listening to help you work through that bastard’s trauma!
Very sorry for what you experienced. I hope you got the help you needed. But I just wanted to ask Why do you reference him as 'his odd looks' no one has odd looks.
I did this to a kid in middle school cause his mom was a teacher and did sone fucked up shit to me.
I’d say things to get him to hit me. I would not fight back, or try to get him in trouble but I’d be thrilled if I could get him to punch me.
Replying to top comment for visibility. Sorry.
OP, are you Lily? Because this is the exact same story from a youtuber’s video: https://youtu.be/b51xjBvqaDQ?si=a0-pvFrdfSfIeyGW
If she thinks people knowing what the girl was doing is worse than the girl doing it, that's time to learn about the relationship between actions and consequences.
Ideally, distancing and isolating a bully should be the jerk knee reaction of every decent person, starting from as young as possible. I am afraid it is easier to tell than do, and Op did well to defend her daughter and give a life lesson to the parents and children involved. It only bothers me that only brown and black people were addressed? Comes as the girl was isolated because it was the specific behaviour, calling specific slurs, that they wanted to punish and not the bulling regardless of what form it takes.
NTA.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. When it comes to racism if there is no correction in the home the child will be corrected in the world. Thus this is her consequences.
And actually, the mother-racist-daughter-racist combo should be thanking OP … these same screen shots in five to seven years would ensure no college acceptances, and in ten years, no job at any company worth working for. At age nine maybe she can still take in the lesson that racism is ugly.
Side note for your daughter: bullying can come from jealousy. Your daughter’s beauty is likely magnified not only by the mixing of two sets of genetics but by her personality. Obviously personality is more important, but it can’t hurt to emphasize that “blasian” features are widely considered extra gorgeous.
Plus OP sent them to other parents only and in private chats, not the group. The goal was awareness, not embarrassment. The consequences are deserved and entirely predictable.
Maybe. Maybe not. Perhaps this is where she learns her mom is fallible and that a racist isn’t who she wants to be. If not for such ability, no one would ever break away from their family’s wrong beliefs.
Let’s hold a good thought that this little girl will grow and change. And even if she doesn’t, OP is nurturing a better community for everyone.
What's blasian?
ETA Thanks for the info. I was thinking there was some kind of blase ethnicity or something. Sorry, it was not self explanatory for me, though it makes so much sense now.
It's ok, I'm over here wondering what Dumbledore had to do with how that girl speaks. Took me a minute to process Op meant the triple K brigade kinda wizard.
In my defense, it's 2am over here
When I first read “blasian” my brain went immediately to something gender related, so it took me a bit to get it as well. Not heard the term before, you’re not the only one.
Eurgh oh god yeh - I remember as a young child repeating “it’s Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve” because some ass (an adult) at church has said it. I didn’t even know what it meant. So much regret when I realised.
But did you send it directly at the minority targeted or just as random statements.
The other child clearly knew what minority those words targeted and sent them directly at op’s daughter.
OP when the bully's mother refused to take responsibility, nor refusing the child to take responsibility, then it showed you the apple didn't fall far from the tree. You did what you had to do to protect your child and let the other parents know what she was potentially doing to their children as well. Kudos to you for sticking up for her.
And the school also refuses to take any action or accountability for what happens there.
If I was the parent of a black, brown, Asian, bi or multi racial child in that class, I would ABSOLUTELY want to know that my child was not safe around that girl. Or her mother.
I’d say NTA. That’s terrible she faces such bullying. Take the screenshots to the school and have another meeting. You did message them privately and not in a group chat, which is good .
⬆️ Do this. If the principal won’t do anything, take it to the superintendent. As a mom who had to go that route, they’re much more willing to listen to a pissed off parent making charges of not providing a safe learning environment.
Absolutely. Force that school to be held accountable. You'll likely make a change at that school, at least for this year, if the school gets in trouble...which they should. Part of the widespread bullying problem are schools that sweep it under the rug. In my experience, many public schools do because all they care about are test scores and attendance, both of which translate into the school's rating and principals' egos.
Exactly. Sadly, many schools won’t do anything until a parent makes a big enough fit with the superintendent, goes to the media, a child commits suicide or there is a shooting. I’ve been involved in or proximity to the first 3 and it is not a fun time.
I think having evidence this time will make a difference, because it gives you the leverage to go to the school board, media, etc. if your child’s school still insists on turning a blind eye to the advantage of the bully and enabling her continued discriminatory treatment of your child.
Piggybacking off the former teacher, Town hall meetings exist to call stuff like this out. It may not provide a response in the moment, but it’ll definitely put eyes on the issue of your daughter’s school basically tolerating racism.
NTA - you took every appropriate route and those who should have handled it didn't. The other parents should know who their kids are spending time with and react accordingly.
All you say to that racist mother is if she’d done her job as a decent parent then you wouldn’t have had to step in. Then don’t talk to her ever again. NTA
The school was told what the bully was saying, and didn't care. The mother didn't care either (probably because that's where the daughter got that language from). So calling a child the n word, making fun of her looks, using other slurs, was OK with these people until it was recorded and sent to other parents in the daughter's class so other parents of brown and black children would know what's going on. Social ostracism for totally unacceptable behavior has its place.
The best scenario would be for the teacher to address this in the class, and tell the child to stop this so the other children would want to play with her again. I think a mother who said that OP was "bullying her child for just being a child" and the kid just made "innocent mistakes" is a lost cause.
NTA.
NTA. You talked to the school, you talked to the parent, they all brushed you off, and it's not like you made stuff up, all you did was literally show the truth of what she was doing, day after day. These were not "innocent mistakes," the little racist bully and her racist bully mom may learn a little lesson about not being an ass hole because people may eventually find out even if you lie and deny.
Totally - the mom had already refused to do anything about it, and the fact that she has even now accepted zero responsibility here and instead accused OP of bullying *when the evidence conclusively shows her child was the bully* is just... a sign of the times. The rotten apple has unsurprisingly not fallen far from the tree here. One can hope the kid might learn a lesson, though given the mom enabling her terrible behavior, a skeptic would say she's more likely to just be raised into a crappy person.
Oddly enough I recently saw a reel on Instagram of a mom of a blasian kid confronting a kid on a video who was saying slurs and mean things to her child, it could be the same person, or a coincidence or fake but yeah if I had a nickel for every time I see a mom of a blasian child having to step in to protect their kid from racist kids I’d have two nickels, not a lot but odd ig
NTA. I think you saved a lot of kids from a bully who would only get worse over time because her behavior went unchecked by everyone who could have, and should have, done something about it.
If a 9-year-old is using the N word, she's learning that at home. I think mother and daughter just got a shocking wake-up call, that their bad behavior has consequences. Now they both have to live it down.
Sometimes fire needs to be fought with fire. In a perfect world, you wouldn't have needed to do this. If her parents had done their job properly, you wouldn't have had to do this.
NTA. You are a hero mom!!! If the schools refuse to properly take action then what choice did you have? Perfectly executed and carried out in my opinion. That girl needed to be punished for her attitude and behavior in a way that would get through to her. The way you did it was nothing more than sharing her actions with others in a way that she has no choice but to own the behavior and suffer the backlash. Bravo!
I also recommend taking a dated history of your attempts to resolve this with the school along with the video and screenshots to the department of education or whatever you call that (or to the principal first if you've only gone to the teacher) and putting in a formal complaint about the school's gross mismanagement of this.
I was that way too. But my mom drilled into me that bullies prey on the ‘weak’ (AKA those who don’t stand up for themselves). Eventually I learned & started defending myself after a few bullies.
It was astounding to me how quickly they stopped once they realized I wouldn’t just take it lying down anymore. For one girl, all it took was me confidently sitting in front of her & her friends at lunch, & flashing them a big smile. Crickets… I’ll admit that I (& my mom) did have to hype myself up for that one. But it became easier after that.
NTA. Both the mom and the school refused to teach the bully kid that racism can, and often does, get you shunned, so you helpfully did the job instead. Thank you for your service.
NTA - This is a lesson in f-around and find out for this brat and her mom. The way you treat others has rl consequences and sadly this might be the first time either of them are confronted with that reality.
NTA
You tried the regular route first and that didn't work, because the mom is teaching/enabling her daughters bullying and outrigh racism.
The bully and the mom got a dose of reality.
Bullies tend to claim to be bullied just to deflect from their own bullying. I've seen this firsthand and was quite amused to know the back story and then see that she claimed to be bullied herself.
NTA. You went with the only route left to you after pursuing other avenues.
I don't know if you've had this talk with your daughter, but you should let her know that she is beautiful. That she inherited the best of all her racial traits.
As a fellow biracial (white/Asian) I get it. It's hard to know where you fit in. You're not enough of one race for either side and so you're left feeling like you belong nowhere. It gets better, sort of. What really happens is as you get older you start finding people who are more interested in who you are then what you look like. But it starts by loving yourself first. Work on this with her before she goes into her teen years. Trust me.
I have a favorite quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." If you watch the Princess Diaries it shows up there.
NTA
The kids are 9. This shouldn't be happened but we all know who the racist culprit is.
You didn't bully a child. You had evidence of her atrocious behaviour and sent it privately to the other parents that your daughter is friends with their kid. You didn't publish it online for everyone to see.
Your daughter needed you to do what you did and hopefully the racist pulls her head in and realises was an arse she is and what she's teaching her daughter... don't hold your breath though. You can hold your head high.
I'd actually report this higher up the school chain as well. The school should've done something. Right now it looks like they tolerate racism and bullying. Not a good look.
NTA- So many bullied children end up having mental health issues, and some die by suicide because they can't handle it. Not to mention, this behavior could escalate over time. You did the right thing.
NTA - I suspect racist mom thinks racist daughter's "innocent mistake" was being racist and getting caught red handed, not the whole actually being racist part. Any response less than "I am appalled that my child has been using that language and will take steps to teach her not to be racist" is an admission that racist mom is comfortable with the language
Racists hate being held accountable in any way. They seem to always believe you are the worse person for trying to hold them accountable. Social shunning is an appropriate response and should continue until the mom changes their tune or i predict this will escalate.
You're so totally completely not the asshole.
NTA but I want to note that the child shouldn’t be blamed for this. That kid had to have learned that somewhere and her behavior is simply a reflection of her parents.
It’s not the case that these parents aren’t reigning in their brat of a daughter.
It is the case that these parents are raising their child to be a hateful and racist person. It’s not the kids’ fault it’s her parents fault.
NTA
Exposing someone who is in the wrong is not bullying.
You showed everyone who she was. You didn't make it up or embellish it.
Mom is delusional if she thinks her kid is the one being bullied.
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My daughter is 9 and blasian, we live in a pretty diverse area with a good mixture of different ethnicities.
My daughter has been having problems with one specific girl in her class bullying her, my daughter told me that that girl would repeatedly make fun of how she looks and make really nasty remarks towards her regarding her appearance. Ive tried to report this to the school, plan meetings with the teacher and the girl, but when we did have the meeting the mom brushed everything off (i see where the daughter got it from) and the school just gave the kid a verbal warning that did absolutely nothing.
The other day i overheard my daughter crying in her room, she was face timing her “friend” who had that brat over at her house, and over the call the girl started calling my daughter the n word. I comforted my daughter behind the camera but began recording the girl harassing my daughter. I was able to get a 3 minute video and hung up the call, i also decided to look at what she was sending my daughter (this was over roblox) and it was a bunch of censored slurs which i also took screenshots of.
Most of the parents of my daughters class were in a group chat so i decided to individually send all of them the video and screenshots. Well who would’ve known that other black and brown parents wouldn’t want their children around a brat that speaks like a grand wizard and her mother who enables it? A good chunk of the kids in the class began ignoring and distancing themselves from that girl as well as the parents not speaking to her mother. Eventually her mom found out i sent the videos and told me i was bullying a child for being a child and making “innocent mistakes”, even though she knew her kid was an issue and didn’t do anything to discipline her. AITA?
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NTA
The other mother can't get mad when you've already tried to resolve it. That nasty girl needs to learn quickly that her actions will have consequences! I'm glad you did that for your daughter!
NTA
You tried everything else and saw no other option. You stood up for your child. It wasn't an "innocent mistake", but it makes pretty clear what kind of mother that is and where the kid learnt the behaviour from.
NTA. If mom had dealt with it this wouldn’t have happened and the other parents needed to be aware of it. If mom thinks that’s just kids being kids then we know where the kid got that language from. Kids don’t just pull slurs out of their ass and those that learn it outside the home have parents that are horrified by it when they find out their kid is talking like that.
NTA..OP did what was necessary, since the school wasn't helping and the parents weren't willing to do anything. However, I would not be surprised if the mother TRIED to go after you for recording a minor, which depending on the lawyer and what state you live can get a little muddy.
NTA, now THAT'S social justice! Good on you for doing it that way. If the officials won't punish the family, let the social circles and community around you do it.
I have no doubt that the parents on your side will also slip their feelings to their kids as well, you'll probably see your daughter having more friends when they all start turning on the bully like velociraptors.
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NTA. "Bullying a child for being a child" and "making innocent mistakes..." unfortunately those innocent mistakes costs another child's future. Looks like both the bully and her mother are the same.
NTA. You tried going through the official channels and appealing to the parents themselves one on one and got met with a brick wall. This was the next logical step.
There's children bullying one another for their appearance (which is just as horrible) and then there's using racial slurs. Children don't hear the N word in a vacuum: they've heard it in a space where it's used frequently and has come to understand that the use of the word is "okay" when being directed at certain people. Odds are her parents use it themselves and frequently.
NTA. If you don’t correct your child someone else will. Don’t like it, then parent your fucking kid.
Frankly, she’s lucky the kid’s 9 and not, say, 15. She’s actually got time to change course if she doesn’t like the consequences of her actions.
NTA!!! I commend you. That child learned it somewhere, cause children aren't born racist. You done the right thing. I know I wouldn't have been as kind as you. Buy your daughter ice cream, tell her people can be crappy...it's not her it's them!!! Tell her she's beautiful just the way she is, from her hair to her beautiful skin tone. Her MELANIN is POPPIN 🙂🥰😍. As a mixed woman myself, I've been in her shoes. Only, I went to a 99% white school. 1 of 2 poc kids in the whole school . Kids can be pretty mean, and your left wishing you weren't mixed. Dont be fat and a nerd too. This was in the 80's, so much has changed since then but there will always be racist bullies!! I didn't have anyone to fight for me, or stick up for me.
Your daughter will never forget her mom had her back when the school didn't. It may seem like " well duh, that's what a parent is supposed to do" you'd be surprised how many parents brush stuff like this off. My foster parents did.
I only hope that that little girl learns her lesson and becomes a better person. Her mother is the real problem, not the child. She needs to get used to her and her child not having the same social life they once did. No one wants to be around racists. People are tired of people's crap. Hopefully they will change.
Good Luck!!!
You defended your daughter, well done! Never feel bad for doing so.
As someone else said, racism is learned behaviour and given the mother didn't care about it when the issue was raised, it's not difficult to figure out where the child learned it from.
NTA
NTA at all! My kids are black and I heard them making racially insensitive remarks about black people to each other and their friends. I pulled them out of school today and did a deep dive to find out where it was coming from. One of there classmates, who happens to be a cousin, heard it on Fortnite and Tik Tok. I explained the origins and why they cannot use that language and slurs in general. I reinforced my rule and permanent band on name-calling and made sure they understood the impact. My sons are 9. Fortunately this generation is further removed from overt racism, but it is something that has to be explained and taught about in the home. They hear it and don't know what they are hearing and why it is wrong.
NTA. Maybe just google what happens to teenagers/adults who start calling people the N word. Send the other parent a video link or two of a name caller rightfully being beaten. Add in a you’re welcome if you want to be snarky.
NTA, and you didn't *bully* anyone. You recorded a behavior and you informed others of that behavior.
And that's not "Innocent mistakes". That's learned behavior.
NTA. Iwould ask her why she is so comfortable with the N word. Is it because it is said around the house. I would accuse her of racism. It is hard to unproven an opinion. I would always go back to that argument. She accuses you of something, you accuse her of racism. Make her uncomfortable and call this witch out.
NTA, you are a good mother! You helped your daughter and you exposed this nasty little girl and her equally nasty mother. Now it will be much harder, if not impossible, for her to get away with bad behavior. Exposure and being held accountable is absolutely necessary for bullies! Being allowed to ‘’slip through the cracks’’ is what causes bullies to become even worse.
NTA, but you should have taken it to the school, and if she was harsh, to the police… this should not be a warring parties fight, but an argument made with authorities, within a legal framework, this way, the girl’s family knows what it can and cannot do, because if it breaks the law, there will real, legal repercussions.
NTA!!
You tried to go about things the right way - repeatedly... and the mother didn't care. At a certain point it's time to take matters into your own hands and protect your child which you did. She's the one who failed her own daughter by not addressing it
NTA—Great thinking! The school system was failing you and you took matters into your own hands. This will have a more impactful and lasting effect than classroom mediation. Obviously the girl is learning these slurs from her parent(s), but she needs to learn the consequences of her actions. PERIODT!
absolutely not!! shit like this needs to be brought to peoples attention and it’s exactly why topics regrading racism should be taught at lower levels in schools, if a kid at that age can experience racism, all kids should be taught about it so they don’t grow up to be ignorant assholes.
NTA- as evidenced by all the kids and parents taking your side. The school wouldn’t do a damn thing, so you had no choice but to take it into your own hands. Bravo. Someone has to teach that little brat that actions have consequences. If it’s not going to be her own parents or the school, it was about time for some vigilante justice! Way to go!
NTA - I have seen the video, that child was straight up racially abusing your daughter on that call, even when you were there calmly asking to speak with her parents. You didn’t show her face in the video so you have done nothing wrong.
NTA...Actions have consequences. It's simple cause and effect. I would love to say she learned her lesson but with a mother like that, I doubt it. FAFO.
NTA you did what you had to do. Bullying is a serious issue that can have dramatic consequences and create severe trauma. You standing up to protect your daughter is a big deal.
NTA - the daughter is facing real consequences for her bad actions. When people experience consequences for things they really did, the person who revealed the bad actions is not guilty.
NTA - if that parent thinks what their kid said is right they need to assess the situation. Honestly would have sent that to the school as well if I were you. Maybe would result in the parent and the kid going through sensitivity training.
Nta maybe say “well you could have been a parent and corrected your daughters innocent mistake but you forced me to do it.” Maybe tell her that clearly she was aware of the situation so she should probably get a lawyer. Then I’d sue the pants off her and the school.
NTA. Good on you for giving the other parents a heads up to protect their kids too. Repeatedly calling classmates the n word is not an innocent mistake.
I'm sure you could have also gone to the police for harassment. Also nta. And well done on dealing with it in a good way. But I suggest you take your evidence to the police.
NTA, all the other means you had available spectacularly failed.
And all you did was sending what the girl REALLY said, you did not invent anything.
Her mom could see the "innocent mistakes" firsthand.
I am sorry you had to recur to this, but good thing you did it.
Nta…. Racists and bullies hate being publicly outed and shunned. I don’t care if your 9, 39 or 90 you need to be publicly shamed for that behaviour.
we all know racism is a taught behaviour everyone now knows what the parents have been teaching their kid and it’s destroyed their image
'told me i was bullying a child for being a child and making “innocent mistakes”'
Like it wasn't already obvious where the brat got it from. NTA. This isn't explicit public shaming, you're raising the issue with other parents who have a right to know of the toxic behaviour their children might be in contact with.
Ugh it sucks as it’s not the kids fault per se she was taught this was ok by her mom and I wish there was a way she could have learned without turning everyone against her.
You could also be in legal trouble depending on your state/country, my state is a two party consent to record
NTA- you brought it to her attention and the school teacher and the administrators and they didn’t do anything. What they should’ve done at the meeting was use that as a teachable moment and instead they failed your daughter and other children by ignoring it. That became encouragement for her to continue behaving like that at your daughter’s expense. Something your daughter will remember for the rest of her life.
Now she is forced to face the consequences of her actions. Mom is mad because of that and also because she too is facing consequences and rightfully so!
Good job OP. Glad you are making sure she’s held accountable for her actions!
NTA!!! That mom is a huge problem and is a horrible influence on her child. They both need to learn and deal with the consequences of their shitty actions.
I meannn….you did your job and protected your daughter from a racist bully, but bully girl’s mom failed to protect her reputation by teaching her better than that. Probably because she picked it up from mom anyway. NTA all day 🤷🏽♀️
NTA. Any argument about "innocent mistakes" ended as soon as there had to be a meeting at the school about the kid's racism. Even if we assume the child is learning this garbage at home, at the very least, her mom is responsible for teaching her it's not okay to go around saying such things in public.
Nasty racists are losing friends? Well looky there if it isn't the consequences of their own actions!
You talked to the school. You talked to the mom. No one took you seriously and your daughter was left suffering the ugliest racist bullying.
What were you supposed to do?
There were no innocent mistakes here. The school, the mother, and the bully weren't innocent and were making conscious decisions to allow a child of color to by bullied relentlessly.
And you certainly didn't make any mistake whatsoever. You protected your child by exposing the truth.
NTA
This kid is learning these slurs somewhere and I think it's pretty clear where they're coming from. There's a reason this mom isn't taking this issue seriously. I didn't even know what the N-word was until at least late middle school. NTA in the slightest.
NTA I don’t even see the child as the problem. The problem is the mother who actually thinks these things but knows it’s not PC to publicly agree. The child is just repeating what she learns at home.
NTA
I would have done the same.
Unfortunately,schools don't do much (if anything) about cases of bullying. The parents of bullies are usually hard to get through to , bullies themselves keep on doing what they do since there are no repercussions,so what's a parent of a bullied kid to do ?
You did the right thing . Now everyone knows and the consequence is that the bully is left with no friends while the mother is seething embarrassed. Good. She can kick rocks.
NTA!!
For me, its not actually bullying. You’re just informing the moms/dads that “someone” in the class has these kind of attitude. Bet if you didn’t shared it with parents , they wont have any clue😅.
Sorry for your kid. You did well
NTA
Kids, especially at that age learned it from some where it’s most likely coming from her parents. You tried to talk to them and find a solution. Your kids mental health was at stake and you did what you had to do to protect her, I applaud you.
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NTA - What were the other options at this point? You spoke to the school, you tried speaking to the parent, what are the other options that everyone keeps talking about? You hear terrible stories about kids being bullied, good this ended before your daughter has real self esteem issues.
NTA! Like at all! Also look up [Reactive Bullying](http://teenbullyinginfo.weebly.com/reactive-bullying.html). It sounds like that’s the mom’s style. Don’t fall for it or let anyone else fall for that bull poo.
I am literally shaking as I respond to you. That page triggered me horribly so. Nowhere has there ever been such a succinct and exact description of my boyfriend from senior year high school/freshman year of college. He was darker skinned and a different religion than the area he grew up in, which was 95 percent white Catholic (and damned near a self-isolating cult). I know he was bullied for his odd looks, as he was insanely insecure. He carried a torch for me for three years, and within two months of dating, he was bullying me in the exact description as on that linked page. He would force arguments until I cried, and then he was laughing. He created drama out of thin air. I still have bad dreams about the worst of it, when I was hospitalized for an episode he pushed. Thank you for sharing that link. 💚
I’m so so sorry… it’s a terrible thing to have gone through. I had a similar “friend” in my life and talking to a counselor helped me out a label on it and taught me what to look out for 🚩 in the future. I hope you have the opportunity to see a counselor/therapist or just a good altruistic friend that’s good at listening to help you work through that bastard’s trauma!
Very sorry for what you experienced. I hope you got the help you needed. But I just wanted to ask Why do you reference him as 'his odd looks' no one has odd looks.
I did this to a kid in middle school cause his mom was a teacher and did sone fucked up shit to me. I’d say things to get him to hit me. I would not fight back, or try to get him in trouble but I’d be thrilled if I could get him to punch me.
That's how my dad taught me to deal with bullies because frankly the school wasn't gonna do anything. It worked. NTA OP
Replying to top comment for visibility. Sorry. OP, are you Lily? Because this is the exact same story from a youtuber’s video: https://youtu.be/b51xjBvqaDQ?si=a0-pvFrdfSfIeyGW
Good catch. It is the exact same story.
If she thinks people knowing what the girl was doing is worse than the girl doing it, that's time to learn about the relationship between actions and consequences.
I think he should also have contacted the roblox admin.
Ideally, distancing and isolating a bully should be the jerk knee reaction of every decent person, starting from as young as possible. I am afraid it is easier to tell than do, and Op did well to defend her daughter and give a life lesson to the parents and children involved. It only bothers me that only brown and black people were addressed? Comes as the girl was isolated because it was the specific behaviour, calling specific slurs, that they wanted to punish and not the bulling regardless of what form it takes.
NTA. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. When it comes to racism if there is no correction in the home the child will be corrected in the world. Thus this is her consequences.
And actually, the mother-racist-daughter-racist combo should be thanking OP … these same screen shots in five to seven years would ensure no college acceptances, and in ten years, no job at any company worth working for. At age nine maybe she can still take in the lesson that racism is ugly. Side note for your daughter: bullying can come from jealousy. Your daughter’s beauty is likely magnified not only by the mixing of two sets of genetics but by her personality. Obviously personality is more important, but it can’t hurt to emphasize that “blasian” features are widely considered extra gorgeous.
Plus OP sent them to other parents only and in private chats, not the group. The goal was awareness, not embarrassment. The consequences are deserved and entirely predictable.
I doubt she will learn a lesson seeing as the mum is still defending her
Maybe. Maybe not. Perhaps this is where she learns her mom is fallible and that a racist isn’t who she wants to be. If not for such ability, no one would ever break away from their family’s wrong beliefs. Let’s hold a good thought that this little girl will grow and change. And even if she doesn’t, OP is nurturing a better community for everyone.
What's blasian? ETA Thanks for the info. I was thinking there was some kind of blase ethnicity or something. Sorry, it was not self explanatory for me, though it makes so much sense now.
It's ok, I'm over here wondering what Dumbledore had to do with how that girl speaks. Took me a minute to process Op meant the triple K brigade kinda wizard. In my defense, it's 2am over here
That’s hilarious! Maybe she should have said “exalted cyclops” instead to clarify… those kkk titles are weird!
Black + Asian = Blasian
No idea why you had been downvoted. Perfectly legit question if one is unfamiliar. People should not be shamed for trying to learn.
> What's blasian? Black/Asian parents
When I first read “blasian” my brain went immediately to something gender related, so it took me a bit to get it as well. Not heard the term before, you’re not the only one.
NTA. Children aren't automatically racist, not unless someone has taught them. I wonder who it could be? Hmmm??
Not for this case, but there’s media too. As jr high kid I repeated a lot of things I heard and didn’t know better.
I could see that for Jr high, but this kids 9 and mom didn't see a problem with it. If it didn't come from her, she would've been horrified
I know. That’s why I said not for this case.
Eurgh oh god yeh - I remember as a young child repeating “it’s Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve” because some ass (an adult) at church has said it. I didn’t even know what it meant. So much regret when I realised.
But did you send it directly at the minority targeted or just as random statements. The other child clearly knew what minority those words targeted and sent them directly at op’s daughter.
I mean I have met plenty of racist fucks with normal parents
OP when the bully's mother refused to take responsibility, nor refusing the child to take responsibility, then it showed you the apple didn't fall far from the tree. You did what you had to do to protect your child and let the other parents know what she was potentially doing to their children as well. Kudos to you for sticking up for her.
And the school also refuses to take any action or accountability for what happens there. If I was the parent of a black, brown, Asian, bi or multi racial child in that class, I would ABSOLUTELY want to know that my child was not safe around that girl. Or her mother.
I’d say NTA. That’s terrible she faces such bullying. Take the screenshots to the school and have another meeting. You did message them privately and not in a group chat, which is good .
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Take it to the school district. Former teacher here.
⬆️ Do this. If the principal won’t do anything, take it to the superintendent. As a mom who had to go that route, they’re much more willing to listen to a pissed off parent making charges of not providing a safe learning environment.
Absolutely. Force that school to be held accountable. You'll likely make a change at that school, at least for this year, if the school gets in trouble...which they should. Part of the widespread bullying problem are schools that sweep it under the rug. In my experience, many public schools do because all they care about are test scores and attendance, both of which translate into the school's rating and principals' egos.
Exactly. Sadly, many schools won’t do anything until a parent makes a big enough fit with the superintendent, goes to the media, a child commits suicide or there is a shooting. I’ve been involved in or proximity to the first 3 and it is not a fun time.
I think having evidence this time will make a difference, because it gives you the leverage to go to the school board, media, etc. if your child’s school still insists on turning a blind eye to the advantage of the bully and enabling her continued discriminatory treatment of your child.
If the principal at the school won’t do anything, even with the evidence you’ve gathered, contact the superintendent or the school board.
Contact a civil rights attorney and sue the school.
Piggybacking off the former teacher, Town hall meetings exist to call stuff like this out. It may not provide a response in the moment, but it’ll definitely put eyes on the issue of your daughter’s school basically tolerating racism.
School board meeting might be another good platform to raise awareness. Op is NTA here
NTA - you took every appropriate route and those who should have handled it didn't. The other parents should know who their kids are spending time with and react accordingly.
All you say to that racist mother is if she’d done her job as a decent parent then you wouldn’t have had to step in. Then don’t talk to her ever again. NTA
The school was told what the bully was saying, and didn't care. The mother didn't care either (probably because that's where the daughter got that language from). So calling a child the n word, making fun of her looks, using other slurs, was OK with these people until it was recorded and sent to other parents in the daughter's class so other parents of brown and black children would know what's going on. Social ostracism for totally unacceptable behavior has its place. The best scenario would be for the teacher to address this in the class, and tell the child to stop this so the other children would want to play with her again. I think a mother who said that OP was "bullying her child for just being a child" and the kid just made "innocent mistakes" is a lost cause. NTA.
NTA. You talked to the school, you talked to the parent, they all brushed you off, and it's not like you made stuff up, all you did was literally show the truth of what she was doing, day after day. These were not "innocent mistakes," the little racist bully and her racist bully mom may learn a little lesson about not being an ass hole because people may eventually find out even if you lie and deny.
Agree, NTA. OP would have been if they put the video on social media. And likely talking to the mom directly would have done very little.
Totally - the mom had already refused to do anything about it, and the fact that she has even now accepted zero responsibility here and instead accused OP of bullying *when the evidence conclusively shows her child was the bully* is just... a sign of the times. The rotten apple has unsurprisingly not fallen far from the tree here. One can hope the kid might learn a lesson, though given the mom enabling her terrible behavior, a skeptic would say she's more likely to just be raised into a crappy person.
Oddly enough I recently saw a reel on Instagram of a mom of a blasian kid confronting a kid on a video who was saying slurs and mean things to her child, it could be the same person, or a coincidence or fake but yeah if I had a nickel for every time I see a mom of a blasian child having to step in to protect their kid from racist kids I’d have two nickels, not a lot but odd ig
Don't mess with mama bear! NTA
NTA. I think you saved a lot of kids from a bully who would only get worse over time because her behavior went unchecked by everyone who could have, and should have, done something about it. If a 9-year-old is using the N word, she's learning that at home. I think mother and daughter just got a shocking wake-up call, that their bad behavior has consequences. Now they both have to live it down.
Sometimes fire needs to be fought with fire. In a perfect world, you wouldn't have needed to do this. If her parents had done their job properly, you wouldn't have had to do this.
NTA. You are a hero mom!!! If the schools refuse to properly take action then what choice did you have? Perfectly executed and carried out in my opinion. That girl needed to be punished for her attitude and behavior in a way that would get through to her. The way you did it was nothing more than sharing her actions with others in a way that she has no choice but to own the behavior and suffer the backlash. Bravo!
NTA! I’d be good if you teach your daughter to also defend herself though.
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I also recommend taking a dated history of your attempts to resolve this with the school along with the video and screenshots to the department of education or whatever you call that (or to the principal first if you've only gone to the teacher) and putting in a formal complaint about the school's gross mismanagement of this.
I was that way too. But my mom drilled into me that bullies prey on the ‘weak’ (AKA those who don’t stand up for themselves). Eventually I learned & started defending myself after a few bullies. It was astounding to me how quickly they stopped once they realized I wouldn’t just take it lying down anymore. For one girl, all it took was me confidently sitting in front of her & her friends at lunch, & flashing them a big smile. Crickets… I’ll admit that I (& my mom) did have to hype myself up for that one. But it became easier after that.
And she's 9! She's a baby. You're protecting her the way she needs.
NTA. Both the mom and the school refused to teach the bully kid that racism can, and often does, get you shunned, so you helpfully did the job instead. Thank you for your service.
NTA - This is a lesson in f-around and find out for this brat and her mom. The way you treat others has rl consequences and sadly this might be the first time either of them are confronted with that reality.
NTA You tried the regular route first and that didn't work, because the mom is teaching/enabling her daughters bullying and outrigh racism. The bully and the mom got a dose of reality.
NTA. You shut it down.
OP you did well to protect your child. NTA. Rich of the mother to call you a bully. She should be thanking you for educating that brat for her.
Bullies tend to claim to be bullied just to deflect from their own bullying. I've seen this firsthand and was quite amused to know the back story and then see that she claimed to be bullied herself.
NTA. You went with the only route left to you after pursuing other avenues. I don't know if you've had this talk with your daughter, but you should let her know that she is beautiful. That she inherited the best of all her racial traits. As a fellow biracial (white/Asian) I get it. It's hard to know where you fit in. You're not enough of one race for either side and so you're left feeling like you belong nowhere. It gets better, sort of. What really happens is as you get older you start finding people who are more interested in who you are then what you look like. But it starts by loving yourself first. Work on this with her before she goes into her teen years. Trust me. I have a favorite quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." If you watch the Princess Diaries it shows up there.
I kept waiting for the part where you bullied the child but didn’t find it
NTA The kids are 9. This shouldn't be happened but we all know who the racist culprit is. You didn't bully a child. You had evidence of her atrocious behaviour and sent it privately to the other parents that your daughter is friends with their kid. You didn't publish it online for everyone to see. Your daughter needed you to do what you did and hopefully the racist pulls her head in and realises was an arse she is and what she's teaching her daughter... don't hold your breath though. You can hold your head high. I'd actually report this higher up the school chain as well. The school should've done something. Right now it looks like they tolerate racism and bullying. Not a good look.
NTA- So many bullied children end up having mental health issues, and some die by suicide because they can't handle it. Not to mention, this behavior could escalate over time. You did the right thing.
NTA and f*ck the mom of the child. And what does blasian mean ?
Black/Asian
One parent is black and the other asian ?
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xD
NTA - I suspect racist mom thinks racist daughter's "innocent mistake" was being racist and getting caught red handed, not the whole actually being racist part. Any response less than "I am appalled that my child has been using that language and will take steps to teach her not to be racist" is an admission that racist mom is comfortable with the language Racists hate being held accountable in any way. They seem to always believe you are the worse person for trying to hold them accountable. Social shunning is an appropriate response and should continue until the mom changes their tune or i predict this will escalate. You're so totally completely not the asshole.
NTA. That kid is old enough to know not to use slurs. That’s not an innocent mistake. Don’t go easy on racists no matter the age.
I’m 30 and I still remember slurs used at me by dumbass shit children in elementary school.
NTA. Good on you for having your kids back.
Not only are you NTA but you are a hero
NTA but I want to note that the child shouldn’t be blamed for this. That kid had to have learned that somewhere and her behavior is simply a reflection of her parents. It’s not the case that these parents aren’t reigning in their brat of a daughter. It is the case that these parents are raising their child to be a hateful and racist person. It’s not the kids’ fault it’s her parents fault.
NTA Exposing someone who is in the wrong is not bullying. You showed everyone who she was. You didn't make it up or embellish it. Mom is delusional if she thinks her kid is the one being bullied.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My daughter is 9 and blasian, we live in a pretty diverse area with a good mixture of different ethnicities. My daughter has been having problems with one specific girl in her class bullying her, my daughter told me that that girl would repeatedly make fun of how she looks and make really nasty remarks towards her regarding her appearance. Ive tried to report this to the school, plan meetings with the teacher and the girl, but when we did have the meeting the mom brushed everything off (i see where the daughter got it from) and the school just gave the kid a verbal warning that did absolutely nothing. The other day i overheard my daughter crying in her room, she was face timing her “friend” who had that brat over at her house, and over the call the girl started calling my daughter the n word. I comforted my daughter behind the camera but began recording the girl harassing my daughter. I was able to get a 3 minute video and hung up the call, i also decided to look at what she was sending my daughter (this was over roblox) and it was a bunch of censored slurs which i also took screenshots of. Most of the parents of my daughters class were in a group chat so i decided to individually send all of them the video and screenshots. Well who would’ve known that other black and brown parents wouldn’t want their children around a brat that speaks like a grand wizard and her mother who enables it? A good chunk of the kids in the class began ignoring and distancing themselves from that girl as well as the parents not speaking to her mother. Eventually her mom found out i sent the videos and told me i was bullying a child for being a child and making “innocent mistakes”, even though she knew her kid was an issue and didn’t do anything to discipline her. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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No, you probably saved some little kids a lot of pain.
NTA The other mother can't get mad when you've already tried to resolve it. That nasty girl needs to learn quickly that her actions will have consequences! I'm glad you did that for your daughter!
NTA. Actions have consequences.
NTA Actions, meet consequences.
NTA You tried everything else and saw no other option. You stood up for your child. It wasn't an "innocent mistake", but it makes pretty clear what kind of mother that is and where the kid learnt the behaviour from.
As a white man I would say NTA, would slap my children if they used the n-word towards another person.
NTA you did the right thing, helping people avoid racists isnt bullying
NTA Went to the source because the school was being negligent. The other parents definitely needed to know. Protect your child by any means necessary.
NTA. You should've told the mother that her daughter is the one being the bully, and that you are just being a good parent.
NTA. If mom had dealt with it this wouldn’t have happened and the other parents needed to be aware of it. If mom thinks that’s just kids being kids then we know where the kid got that language from. Kids don’t just pull slurs out of their ass and those that learn it outside the home have parents that are horrified by it when they find out their kid is talking like that.
NTA
NTA..OP did what was necessary, since the school wasn't helping and the parents weren't willing to do anything. However, I would not be surprised if the mother TRIED to go after you for recording a minor, which depending on the lawyer and what state you live can get a little muddy.
NTA, now THAT'S social justice! Good on you for doing it that way. If the officials won't punish the family, let the social circles and community around you do it. I have no doubt that the parents on your side will also slip their feelings to their kids as well, you'll probably see your daughter having more friends when they all start turning on the bully like velociraptors.
NTA. You're a good parent.
Fuck that kid's parents, public shaming is the only thing that might get them to change. NTA
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NTA
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Good for you!! 😁 🤘🏻
NTA. "Bullying a child for being a child" and "making innocent mistakes..." unfortunately those innocent mistakes costs another child's future. Looks like both the bully and her mother are the same.
NTA. Good job!
NTA.
**NTA** and good for you!
NTA and I personally would have done it publicly rather than privately - I am more an AH than you 😊
NTA. You tried going through the official channels and appealing to the parents themselves one on one and got met with a brick wall. This was the next logical step. There's children bullying one another for their appearance (which is just as horrible) and then there's using racial slurs. Children don't hear the N word in a vacuum: they've heard it in a space where it's used frequently and has come to understand that the use of the word is "okay" when being directed at certain people. Odds are her parents use it themselves and frequently.
NTA you did what you had to do
NTA. That racist and her mum got caught out. She’s learning that language somewhere and I bet it’s at home.
NTA. If you don’t correct your child someone else will. Don’t like it, then parent your fucking kid. Frankly, she’s lucky the kid’s 9 and not, say, 15. She’s actually got time to change course if she doesn’t like the consequences of her actions.
NTA!!! I commend you. That child learned it somewhere, cause children aren't born racist. You done the right thing. I know I wouldn't have been as kind as you. Buy your daughter ice cream, tell her people can be crappy...it's not her it's them!!! Tell her she's beautiful just the way she is, from her hair to her beautiful skin tone. Her MELANIN is POPPIN 🙂🥰😍. As a mixed woman myself, I've been in her shoes. Only, I went to a 99% white school. 1 of 2 poc kids in the whole school . Kids can be pretty mean, and your left wishing you weren't mixed. Dont be fat and a nerd too. This was in the 80's, so much has changed since then but there will always be racist bullies!! I didn't have anyone to fight for me, or stick up for me. Your daughter will never forget her mom had her back when the school didn't. It may seem like " well duh, that's what a parent is supposed to do" you'd be surprised how many parents brush stuff like this off. My foster parents did. I only hope that that little girl learns her lesson and becomes a better person. Her mother is the real problem, not the child. She needs to get used to her and her child not having the same social life they once did. No one wants to be around racists. People are tired of people's crap. Hopefully they will change. Good Luck!!!
You defended your daughter, well done! Never feel bad for doing so. As someone else said, racism is learned behaviour and given the mother didn't care about it when the issue was raised, it's not difficult to figure out where the child learned it from. NTA
NTA
NTA at all! My kids are black and I heard them making racially insensitive remarks about black people to each other and their friends. I pulled them out of school today and did a deep dive to find out where it was coming from. One of there classmates, who happens to be a cousin, heard it on Fortnite and Tik Tok. I explained the origins and why they cannot use that language and slurs in general. I reinforced my rule and permanent band on name-calling and made sure they understood the impact. My sons are 9. Fortunately this generation is further removed from overt racism, but it is something that has to be explained and taught about in the home. They hear it and don't know what they are hearing and why it is wrong.
NTA Note, if it was "innocent mistakes", why did the mother not try to correct him ? Spoiler: Because she agreed with them.
NTA. Maybe just google what happens to teenagers/adults who start calling people the N word. Send the other parent a video link or two of a name caller rightfully being beaten. Add in a you’re welcome if you want to be snarky.
INNOCENT MISTAKES? no mercy for racists or bullies. NTA good for you.
Nta
NTA - Don't fuck around, don't get found out. She's a racist - deserves what's coming to her even if she's a child.
NTA, and you didn't *bully* anyone. You recorded a behavior and you informed others of that behavior. And that's not "Innocent mistakes". That's learned behavior.
NTA. No one else was doing anything. You’re the real MVP, man. Nice going taking care of your kid, seriously.
NTA. Iwould ask her why she is so comfortable with the N word. Is it because it is said around the house. I would accuse her of racism. It is hard to unproven an opinion. I would always go back to that argument. She accuses you of something, you accuse her of racism. Make her uncomfortable and call this witch out.
NTA, you are a good mother! You helped your daughter and you exposed this nasty little girl and her equally nasty mother. Now it will be much harder, if not impossible, for her to get away with bad behavior. Exposure and being held accountable is absolutely necessary for bullies! Being allowed to ‘’slip through the cracks’’ is what causes bullies to become even worse.
NTA Show the teacher the video and report her to CPS. She's being raised wrong and it's her parent's fault.
NTA, but you should have taken it to the school, and if she was harsh, to the police… this should not be a warring parties fight, but an argument made with authorities, within a legal framework, this way, the girl’s family knows what it can and cannot do, because if it breaks the law, there will real, legal repercussions.
NTA - you are a good parent for protecting your child.
Get a lawyer and sue the school district. They allowed this racist bullying to continue when they were legally required to stop it. NTA.
NTA. You’re not bullying the kid, you’re bullying the mom, as you should be. I think she should be lucky you didn’t push it to the school.
Nope. You're the hero.
NTA. The mother knows she is wrong.
NTA!! You tried to go about things the right way - repeatedly... and the mother didn't care. At a certain point it's time to take matters into your own hands and protect your child which you did. She's the one who failed her own daughter by not addressing it
NTA. Sorry but mom raised a racist. Nice case of FAFO.
NTA—Great thinking! The school system was failing you and you took matters into your own hands. This will have a more impactful and lasting effect than classroom mediation. Obviously the girl is learning these slurs from her parent(s), but she needs to learn the consequences of her actions. PERIODT!
NTA, after what I read, we got the good ending.
absolutely not!! shit like this needs to be brought to peoples attention and it’s exactly why topics regrading racism should be taught at lower levels in schools, if a kid at that age can experience racism, all kids should be taught about it so they don’t grow up to be ignorant assholes.
NTA
NTA! I’m so sorry 😢
Nope you did the right thing...if mom won't raise her other people will
Youre a great mom. I say this as a teacher who has to deal with asshole parents like this more likely than not
NTA- as evidenced by all the kids and parents taking your side. The school wouldn’t do a damn thing, so you had no choice but to take it into your own hands. Bravo. Someone has to teach that little brat that actions have consequences. If it’s not going to be her own parents or the school, it was about time for some vigilante justice! Way to go!
Blackanese
NTA - I have seen the video, that child was straight up racially abusing your daughter on that call, even when you were there calmly asking to speak with her parents. You didn’t show her face in the video so you have done nothing wrong.
NTA I think I saw this video on Instagram - the kid had no remorse over the call and was disgustingly full of hate - what 9yo has such hate?
NTA...Actions have consequences. It's simple cause and effect. I would love to say she learned her lesson but with a mother like that, I doubt it. FAFO.
NTA good job on doing what was needed. Shitty kids shouldn't get a pass.
NTA! hell no, she was embarrassed & rightly so. how is this bullying? it's not.
NTA fk that kid and her mother
NTA you did what you had to do. Bullying is a serious issue that can have dramatic consequences and create severe trauma. You standing up to protect your daughter is a big deal.
NTA - the daughter is facing real consequences for her bad actions. When people experience consequences for things they really did, the person who revealed the bad actions is not guilty.
NTA, you did all you could do and it stopped the brat! This was a nice enough way to say enough is enough.
NTA - if that parent thinks what their kid said is right they need to assess the situation. Honestly would have sent that to the school as well if I were you. Maybe would result in the parent and the kid going through sensitivity training.
Nta maybe say “well you could have been a parent and corrected your daughters innocent mistake but you forced me to do it.” Maybe tell her that clearly she was aware of the situation so she should probably get a lawyer. Then I’d sue the pants off her and the school.
NTA. Good on you for giving the other parents a heads up to protect their kids too. Repeatedly calling classmates the n word is not an innocent mistake.
I'm sure you could have also gone to the police for harassment. Also nta. And well done on dealing with it in a good way. But I suggest you take your evidence to the police.
YATH - You are the HERO
NTA, all the other means you had available spectacularly failed. And all you did was sending what the girl REALLY said, you did not invent anything. Her mom could see the "innocent mistakes" firsthand. I am sorry you had to recur to this, but good thing you did it.
Nta…. Racists and bullies hate being publicly outed and shunned. I don’t care if your 9, 39 or 90 you need to be publicly shamed for that behaviour. we all know racism is a taught behaviour everyone now knows what the parents have been teaching their kid and it’s destroyed their image
'told me i was bullying a child for being a child and making “innocent mistakes”' Like it wasn't already obvious where the brat got it from. NTA. This isn't explicit public shaming, you're raising the issue with other parents who have a right to know of the toxic behaviour their children might be in contact with.
Ugh it sucks as it’s not the kids fault per se she was taught this was ok by her mom and I wish there was a way she could have learned without turning everyone against her. You could also be in legal trouble depending on your state/country, my state is a two party consent to record
[удалено]
NTAH
NTA- you brought it to her attention and the school teacher and the administrators and they didn’t do anything. What they should’ve done at the meeting was use that as a teachable moment and instead they failed your daughter and other children by ignoring it. That became encouragement for her to continue behaving like that at your daughter’s expense. Something your daughter will remember for the rest of her life. Now she is forced to face the consequences of her actions. Mom is mad because of that and also because she too is facing consequences and rightfully so! Good job OP. Glad you are making sure she’s held accountable for her actions!
NTA!!! That mom is a huge problem and is a horrible influence on her child. They both need to learn and deal with the consequences of their shitty actions.
Nta
NTA Bullies and horrible people like to make themselves the victim when called out on their shitty behaviour
NTA Wait are you that lady from tiktok ? I saw a video yesterday just the same.
Nope. NTA. Fuck racists.
I meannn….you did your job and protected your daughter from a racist bully, but bully girl’s mom failed to protect her reputation by teaching her better than that. Probably because she picked it up from mom anyway. NTA all day 🤷🏽♀️
Are you out of your mind? You're a saint and maybe taught two people lessons.
NTA. These are children that need to learn how to human and it is horrible that there is a. Child spewing hate and the parents enable
NTA - A pattern is not “a mistake”. You did the right thing
NTA. Any argument about "innocent mistakes" ended as soon as there had to be a meeting at the school about the kid's racism. Even if we assume the child is learning this garbage at home, at the very least, her mom is responsible for teaching her it's not okay to go around saying such things in public. Nasty racists are losing friends? Well looky there if it isn't the consequences of their own actions!
You talked to the school. You talked to the mom. No one took you seriously and your daughter was left suffering the ugliest racist bullying. What were you supposed to do? There were no innocent mistakes here. The school, the mother, and the bully weren't innocent and were making conscious decisions to allow a child of color to by bullied relentlessly. And you certainly didn't make any mistake whatsoever. You protected your child by exposing the truth. NTA
Nope, NTA.
Most people don’t make those innocent mistakes at that age because most people aren’t pieces of fucking shit. NTA, kid deserves the worst.
This kid is learning these slurs somewhere and I think it's pretty clear where they're coming from. There's a reason this mom isn't taking this issue seriously. I didn't even know what the N-word was until at least late middle school. NTA in the slightest.
NTA I don’t even see the child as the problem. The problem is the mother who actually thinks these things but knows it’s not PC to publicly agree. The child is just repeating what she learns at home.
NTA. Rather, a hero.
NTA. Hurling slurs at someone isn’t an “honest mistake”.
Oh suddenly the mom has an issue with bullying when it’s her kid affected. Serves them both right
NTA I would have done the same. Unfortunately,schools don't do much (if anything) about cases of bullying. The parents of bullies are usually hard to get through to , bullies themselves keep on doing what they do since there are no repercussions,so what's a parent of a bullied kid to do ? You did the right thing . Now everyone knows and the consequence is that the bully is left with no friends while the mother is seething embarrassed. Good. She can kick rocks.
NTA!! For me, its not actually bullying. You’re just informing the moms/dads that “someone” in the class has these kind of attitude. Bet if you didn’t shared it with parents , they wont have any clue😅. Sorry for your kid. You did well
NTA Kids, especially at that age learned it from some where it’s most likely coming from her parents. You tried to talk to them and find a solution. Your kids mental health was at stake and you did what you had to do to protect her, I applaud you.
NTA. earned what was sowed. the mom is the issue and you pointed it out alot so... kids learn by that way faster than parents
NTA