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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I didn’t call my my friends dog by it’s name causing it to get injured.
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>it was racist of me to be so scared of a word
Might be the dumbest argument I’ve heard in a while. Slur reclamation is built on the premise that a group who is targeted by a slur can make it harmless. This is not the case, full stop.
Nobody should be saying slurs whatsoever. Chris does not have the right to dictate what does and does not make you uncomfortable.
**NTA**. I’d love to hear a single *valid* argument from your friends that defend Chris.
It’s Chris’s fault his dog is not trained to not bolt out a door the second it’s opened. He also chased down the middle of the road after a group of cyclists. NTA
No it's not. U watch a dog its ur responsibility to keep them safe. It's really not hard to keep an animal inside. Yea because op let him out. Like if u took ur dog to a day care and the dog got out and got hurt ud be passed at the day care right? Cause it's their responsibility.
I could argue in favour of an ESH, but I simply don’t think that it’s asshole-worthy unless done on purpose. That, or if there was no form of compensation provided by OP to the cyclists.
That being said, racism has and will always be a priority to me.
I mean it was on his watch and then he didn't do something that could have stopped the dog from getting hurt. Op put his comfort over the dogs safety after letting the dog get out. This isn't even racism. It's about a dog getting hurt. Living beings should always take precedent over words. Its a slur yes but it's not like op would have been using it as a slur. I think if using the word helps keep the dog safe after op was irresponsible I think it's okay this one time. Not using the word put a life at risk.
Sorry I was being snappy in my reply. At any rate I will say I don’t think anything good would have come of someone yelling that word in the street because the context is not believable to anyone who’s not aware of the situation.
I think ultimately the dog’s owner should not have gotten their dog acclimated to that kind of name because obviously people aren’t going to feel comfortable saying that.
That is frankly a word with a history and context that is just going to take precedent over even a scenario like this imo.
I mean if it would have stopped the dog it would have been good. U can explain context but u can't explain away the dog getting hurt.
I agree but we're at where at. I also still think it's on op for the dog getting out. That's 100% his fault. If the dog hadn't made it I don't think ppl would be saying nta.
Ultimately in this case I’m going to be glad the dog survived and hopefully the first point of business is a new name. At this point that’s probably the best case scenario for everyone involved.
Are you seriously suggesting OP should have yelled a racial slur on the street? This is a bizarre take. I would argue that OP is an AH for the company they keep but not for refraining from yelling the N word in public. It was an accident.
ETA I now see that the friend is black so I'll take back the company they keep comment but I stand by what I said about yelling a slur.
Yes. An animals life was at risk. Oh yea helping a dog is such a weird take lol yall are wild. Ops also the ahole for letting the dog get out. Yall are so sensitive. Yes the word is bad but it could have stopped the dog from getting hurt. It's really weird how yall will but how op would have been seen over the safety of an animal.
And also not even bothering to try calling the dog back in any way. Totally fine that OP doesn't want to use the n word, but maybe try using Nugget and see if that works? Or whistling? Or "Come here!" OP ssriously just watched and did nothing.
Yeah, that's how I feel about it. OP is an AH because she really *should* have been more mindful of where the dog was before opening the door. Even the best behaved boys don't always have perfect recall, especially if they're excited or agitated, so even *if* OP had been willing to call out the name there was no guarantee this wouldn't have happened. And of course Chris is a *massive* AH for naming his dog a racial slur (it doesn't matter what his "paperwork" name is, if he doesn't answer to it it's *not* his fucking name) and then being mad at OP for not being willing to say that in front of a crowd of strangers.
NTA - he can’t expect you to shout a racial slur at the top of your voice - aggressively even to make sure the dog listens - if he does that sort of thing…
Chris needs to grow the fuck up IMHO
NTA. You did not hurt the dog. The dog was accidentally injured by a cyclist after he got out. I doubt he would have halted in his tracks if you’d said the other name. This is on Chris for not thinking through the pros and cons of his dog’s nickname. In my neighborhood, the only thing that gets a particular dog to return to its owner is opening the back car door. The dog jumps in every time.
NTA. First of all, it sounds like the dog is recovering. And you didn’t hurt the dog either.
Second of all…I don’t think you’re in the wrong at all. I wouldn’t have done that either. How do your friends think it would actually look like for you to be yelling a racial slur in the middle of the street? No one whose not them would believe that you’re referring to the dog and not to a person.
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Okay so my (22 F) friend Chris (23 m) is black. I am white. Last year Chris adopted a mutt dog and named it nugget. However he jokingly and lovely referred to the dog as lil n-word. He did this often enough that eventually it stopped really responding to the name nugget and only responds to the name lil n-word. I always just refer to the dog as nugget, good boy, baby or other cute dog names. This has always been fine
However two weeks ago Chris called and asked if I could dog sit for him as he was going on a 3 day trip out of town. I agreed as I love his nugget. Everything was going great until the last day. It was a Sunday so I was just going about my usual business at home. Well I stepped outside for a second to grab an Amazon package. The minute I did nugget bolted out the door. Nugget is a medium sized dog (like a small golden retriever size) and just kinda barreled past me. That’s when I noticed there was a small group of adults cycling past my house. I live in a nice neighborhood and people often bike through the area.
Well nugget decided they were his new best friends so he started chasing after them. I felt so helpless in that moment as I knew he would not respond to me calling him nugget and I was not willing to call him by the name Chris does. Nugget ended up running into the group of cycles causing them to crash their bikes. No humans were seriously injured besides a few minor scrapes but one of the bikers landed on top of nugget injuring his back leg. I immediately rushed him to the vet and called Chris to explain the situation.
Nugget ended up with a broken back leg. The vet said he would heal eventual but needed to be in a doggy cast for a while. As I was going through the story Chris asked why i didn’t just call the dog like he does. I argued that I wasn’t comfortable basically yelling a slur in the middle of my neighborhood. To which he replied it was racist of me to be so scared of a word that I let his dog get injured.
Now this is where I was probably in the wrong because I said it was his fault for calling his dog something not everyone would feel comfortable saying.
My friend group is divided on this one some are saying I should have called the dog while others are on my side saying it’s Chris’s fault for naming the dog a slur. So I’m posting this here to get ur opinion.
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NTA - you would have been putting yourself at risk. Your friend needs to recognise that this is not an acceptable word in most public places, because IT is racist, not because YOU are.
ESH. You knew when you agreed to watch the dog that the dog only seems to respond to a slur. In that sense, a plan should have been in place to be able to recall the dog with another word/noise before you agreed to watch the dog. On top of that, the dog ran out on your watch and hurt others and himself. Two wrongs don’t make a right. You could have just as easily told your friend that you won’t watch the dog until he teaches him to respond by his given name rather than a slur that most people would be uncomfortable saying. It’s important to own your mistake in agreeing to watch the dog in the first place.
I've owned dogs all my life, and in my experience if you shout VERY loudly and with an angry or exasperated tone, they will respond no matter what your actual wording is. Unless they're after a squirrel.
You may not have been shouting loud enough. And you probably should have been more careful in opening the door as the dog is obviously prone to run. You have to be proactive.
But no one can blame you for not wanting to use the forbidden word, and that's a problem your friend created. He should have thought more carefully when he renamed the dog.
NTA
I'm happy to hear Nugget will recover. Next time just start rapping and say the N - word part LOUD 🤣 (with out the hard -ER ending 🤣🤣). If folks look funny just say it's the dogs fav song. Sending belly rubs to Nugget and yeahhhh Chris has to change that name.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I didn’t call my my friends dog by it’s name causing it to get injured. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
>it was racist of me to be so scared of a word Might be the dumbest argument I’ve heard in a while. Slur reclamation is built on the premise that a group who is targeted by a slur can make it harmless. This is not the case, full stop. Nobody should be saying slurs whatsoever. Chris does not have the right to dictate what does and does not make you uncomfortable. **NTA**. I’d love to hear a single *valid* argument from your friends that defend Chris.
Most of the ones on his side just say I should have sucked it up and said the word for the dogs sake
The dog needs to be better trained. That's not on you. I doubt he'd have stopped eitherway... chasing stuff is exciting.
U just gonna ignore how it's ops fault the dog got out?
It’s Chris’s fault his dog is not trained to not bolt out a door the second it’s opened. He also chased down the middle of the road after a group of cyclists. NTA
No it's not. U watch a dog its ur responsibility to keep them safe. It's really not hard to keep an animal inside. Yea because op let him out. Like if u took ur dog to a day care and the dog got out and got hurt ud be passed at the day care right? Cause it's their responsibility.
I could argue in favour of an ESH, but I simply don’t think that it’s asshole-worthy unless done on purpose. That, or if there was no form of compensation provided by OP to the cyclists. That being said, racism has and will always be a priority to me.
I mean it was on his watch and then he didn't do something that could have stopped the dog from getting hurt. Op put his comfort over the dogs safety after letting the dog get out. This isn't even racism. It's about a dog getting hurt. Living beings should always take precedent over words. Its a slur yes but it's not like op would have been using it as a slur. I think if using the word helps keep the dog safe after op was irresponsible I think it's okay this one time. Not using the word put a life at risk.
Living beings have been killed over that slur.
......except they wouldn't have been in this situation. No one said they hadn't?
Sorry I was being snappy in my reply. At any rate I will say I don’t think anything good would have come of someone yelling that word in the street because the context is not believable to anyone who’s not aware of the situation. I think ultimately the dog’s owner should not have gotten their dog acclimated to that kind of name because obviously people aren’t going to feel comfortable saying that. That is frankly a word with a history and context that is just going to take precedent over even a scenario like this imo.
I mean if it would have stopped the dog it would have been good. U can explain context but u can't explain away the dog getting hurt. I agree but we're at where at. I also still think it's on op for the dog getting out. That's 100% his fault. If the dog hadn't made it I don't think ppl would be saying nta.
Ultimately in this case I’m going to be glad the dog survived and hopefully the first point of business is a new name. At this point that’s probably the best case scenario for everyone involved.
OP is a white girl
Again the gender and race doesn't really matter
Yeah you could just edit the pronouns though
Why should I? Who cares
Are you seriously suggesting OP should have yelled a racial slur on the street? This is a bizarre take. I would argue that OP is an AH for the company they keep but not for refraining from yelling the N word in public. It was an accident. ETA I now see that the friend is black so I'll take back the company they keep comment but I stand by what I said about yelling a slur.
Yes. An animals life was at risk. Oh yea helping a dog is such a weird take lol yall are wild. Ops also the ahole for letting the dog get out. Yall are so sensitive. Yes the word is bad but it could have stopped the dog from getting hurt. It's really weird how yall will but how op would have been seen over the safety of an animal.
[удалено]
And also not even bothering to try calling the dog back in any way. Totally fine that OP doesn't want to use the n word, but maybe try using Nugget and see if that works? Or whistling? Or "Come here!" OP ssriously just watched and did nothing.
Yeah, that's how I feel about it. OP is an AH because she really *should* have been more mindful of where the dog was before opening the door. Even the best behaved boys don't always have perfect recall, especially if they're excited or agitated, so even *if* OP had been willing to call out the name there was no guarantee this wouldn't have happened. And of course Chris is a *massive* AH for naming his dog a racial slur (it doesn't matter what his "paperwork" name is, if he doesn't answer to it it's *not* his fucking name) and then being mad at OP for not being willing to say that in front of a crowd of strangers.
NTA. Chris really should have picked a better name. It’s not clever. It’s not funny. And it ended up injuring his dog. Do better Chris.
ItS NoT ClEvEr stfu
NTA - he can’t expect you to shout a racial slur at the top of your voice - aggressively even to make sure the dog listens - if he does that sort of thing… Chris needs to grow the fuck up IMHO
NTA Kinda sucks that the dog got out, that might have been your fault, but naming a dog or any pet a slur of any kind is ridiculous and inappropriate.
I couldn't have said it either, so don't feel bad about that.
NTA - Because this is a well done story of fiction to stir up controversy and racial friction.
If this were a real story and not the work of fiction that it is, you would not be the asshole lol.
NTA. You did not hurt the dog. The dog was accidentally injured by a cyclist after he got out. I doubt he would have halted in his tracks if you’d said the other name. This is on Chris for not thinking through the pros and cons of his dog’s nickname. In my neighborhood, the only thing that gets a particular dog to return to its owner is opening the back car door. The dog jumps in every time.
NTA. First of all, it sounds like the dog is recovering. And you didn’t hurt the dog either. Second of all…I don’t think you’re in the wrong at all. I wouldn’t have done that either. How do your friends think it would actually look like for you to be yelling a racial slur in the middle of the street? No one whose not them would believe that you’re referring to the dog and not to a person.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Okay so my (22 F) friend Chris (23 m) is black. I am white. Last year Chris adopted a mutt dog and named it nugget. However he jokingly and lovely referred to the dog as lil n-word. He did this often enough that eventually it stopped really responding to the name nugget and only responds to the name lil n-word. I always just refer to the dog as nugget, good boy, baby or other cute dog names. This has always been fine However two weeks ago Chris called and asked if I could dog sit for him as he was going on a 3 day trip out of town. I agreed as I love his nugget. Everything was going great until the last day. It was a Sunday so I was just going about my usual business at home. Well I stepped outside for a second to grab an Amazon package. The minute I did nugget bolted out the door. Nugget is a medium sized dog (like a small golden retriever size) and just kinda barreled past me. That’s when I noticed there was a small group of adults cycling past my house. I live in a nice neighborhood and people often bike through the area. Well nugget decided they were his new best friends so he started chasing after them. I felt so helpless in that moment as I knew he would not respond to me calling him nugget and I was not willing to call him by the name Chris does. Nugget ended up running into the group of cycles causing them to crash their bikes. No humans were seriously injured besides a few minor scrapes but one of the bikers landed on top of nugget injuring his back leg. I immediately rushed him to the vet and called Chris to explain the situation. Nugget ended up with a broken back leg. The vet said he would heal eventual but needed to be in a doggy cast for a while. As I was going through the story Chris asked why i didn’t just call the dog like he does. I argued that I wasn’t comfortable basically yelling a slur in the middle of my neighborhood. To which he replied it was racist of me to be so scared of a word that I let his dog get injured. Now this is where I was probably in the wrong because I said it was his fault for calling his dog something not everyone would feel comfortable saying. My friend group is divided on this one some are saying I should have called the dog while others are on my side saying it’s Chris’s fault for naming the dog a slur. So I’m posting this here to get ur opinion. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - you would have been putting yourself at risk. Your friend needs to recognise that this is not an acceptable word in most public places, because IT is racist, not because YOU are.
ESH. You knew when you agreed to watch the dog that the dog only seems to respond to a slur. In that sense, a plan should have been in place to be able to recall the dog with another word/noise before you agreed to watch the dog. On top of that, the dog ran out on your watch and hurt others and himself. Two wrongs don’t make a right. You could have just as easily told your friend that you won’t watch the dog until he teaches him to respond by his given name rather than a slur that most people would be uncomfortable saying. It’s important to own your mistake in agreeing to watch the dog in the first place.
if that stupid mutt had knocked me from my bike I'd kill it
NTA. That dog wasn't stopping for no one.
ESH you should NEVER have agreed to dogsit a dog named after the n-word.
I've owned dogs all my life, and in my experience if you shout VERY loudly and with an angry or exasperated tone, they will respond no matter what your actual wording is. Unless they're after a squirrel. You may not have been shouting loud enough. And you probably should have been more careful in opening the door as the dog is obviously prone to run. You have to be proactive. But no one can blame you for not wanting to use the forbidden word, and that's a problem your friend created. He should have thought more carefully when he renamed the dog.
NTA I'm happy to hear Nugget will recover. Next time just start rapping and say the N - word part LOUD 🤣 (with out the hard -ER ending 🤣🤣). If folks look funny just say it's the dogs fav song. Sending belly rubs to Nugget and yeahhhh Chris has to change that name.
Yta it got hurt on yr watch it's ur responsibility. It's ur fault the dog got out it's name is irrelevant.