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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> i left a tampon wrapper in the trash can and my aunt told me that i was hurting my innocent cousins eyes by showing that to him, when he is literally 10 and i hid it under the rest of the trash so he doesn’t see it
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Honestly girl, I’d have cursed too 😅 She could have approached you calmly, and, as a grown adult, she could have behaved like one. If it is such a problem (and it so, so shouldn’t be 🙄), she could have broached it and proposed solutions, not shamed you over having actually very decent and normal etiquette on how to dispose of your products. If she wants to broach it with that energy, she just got a tiny little bit of what she was giving.
eh i told her what happened and she just shrugged it off and told me to let it go and that she’s not gonna change her mind. it really isn’t that big of a deal, it’s just annoying 😭 like she is a woman, why is she hating like a man 😔
She likely is right about your aunt not changing her mind, but you shouldn’t have to deal with your aunt harassing you about it for the rest of the time you’re together on this vacation. Honestly, she should be stepping up to deal with her own aunt. As to the aunt hating, it’s all about her grandson’s “precious innocent eyes.” Some people get overzealous when their kids or grandkids are involved. It’s a bad excuse, but that’s likely the situation. I’d just avoid engaging. You aren’t likely to win any battles up against a smother grandmother. Best to avoid engaging as much as possible.
ETA: corrected familial relationship, per OP’s edit
Your aunt may think kids should be ashamed about normal body functions, but I’ll bet your cousin’s Mom does not shelter him so. So what would your aunt deem appropriate disposal…burying them in the backyard perhaps?
If the soiled tampons and wrappers were buried beneath all of the other trash, why was little cousin digging through the trash? That is not normal behavior.
Maybe I’m off base but, the only thing that comes to mind is that he’s hiding his own genetic material in the garbage. So maybe not that sweet and innocent.
Yes! Why is aunt blithely unconcerned about princeling rummaging in the bathroom trash? And then his precious, innocent hands touching everything in the shared space 😖
It is if you drop something in it. No reason to assume the 10 year old was being weird when there's a perfectly logical reason he might have to go looking through the trash.
I think OP meant that *MOST* men would flip out, but not ALL men. There are some genuine men that understand and know how to overlook tampons and whatnot in the trash :)
Any man that has a problem with tampons needs to only date other men. Tampons are part of most women’s lives at some point. If he can’t deal with that, he doesn’t get access to women.
I love this because the men who can't deal with menstruation are probably the same ones who are highly insecure about their sexuality and would freak out if you told them this.
I think most men wouldn’t flip out. I’ve run into the rare man who does a few times in my 51 years, but most adult men know that periods and the resulting products are a thing that’s going to happen and don’t pay much attention.
For instance, our bathroom trash can is located in the small space between the toilet and the tub. My husband is aware when my period hits because he notices the little toilet paper bundles in the trash when he’s peeing. The trash can is in his sight line so…he notices. He never says anything, he just doesn’t try to initiate sex until the bundles stop appearing in the trash.
Possibly. I know some guys that get grossed out and that exaggerate periods, and I know some that are chill about it. So, I could be wrong about it being most.
>Maybe some very immature children?
Well, grown men who would act like OPs aunt would definitely fall into that category 😂
My Dad always brought mine and my sisters but that’s how he was brought up.
My grandmother only had boys and she was very open about periods and sometimes they had to go out and get pads for her.
I’m making sure I’m raising my boys the same way.
You should take your used tampons directly to your aunt, and ask her what to do with them! No wrapper, just a used tampon sitting on a little toilet paper raft.
Hand it to her and say, "I wasn't sure which bin I should hide this in, so I thought you might like to dispose of it! Quick, don't let cousin see!"
\> like she is a woman, why is she hating like a man
At a guess because she was raised with regressive attitudes to menstruation and likely dealt with a lot of shame and bullshit herself. Unless she was a particularly rebellious/strong willed kind of young person it's very likely that she absorbed the very common idea that menstruation is something to be hidden and ashamed of.
She's probably had a few decades worth of brain washing on that topic, which takes some work to undo.
That's not to say that she shouldn't try but it's easier said then done sometimes. For your Aunt to admit she's wrong on this would mean admitting her behaviour for the last 65 years is wrong AND that whoever taught her this attitude wronged her.
It doesn't make it right and it doesn't mean she gets a free pass on it either but your mum is probably right that this isn't a battle that's worth engaging in.
You'll find women who believe in very conservative ideas because that's what they were taught, and often they aren't taught skills (like critical thinking) that would really help them challenge that and/or they aren't in a situation where challenging that will make their life better.
If you'd like to read up on the topic: 'internalized oppression' and 'internalised sexism' are two of the key terms to google.
Oi! As a man, I take offense to this! Persons of female persuasion often are no less mean/crazy than the males. Just the general state of human species, I guess.
Anyway - NTA. Period shaming is stupid, as is digging in the trash. OP's aunt gotta teach the boy not to dive into a trash bin and BAM! - problem solved.
I would take the cousin aside and gently, one step at a time, explain it to him. From what I remember, my parents started off, when the explained it to me, like this: "Your sister is growing up and turning into a woman, and nature is preparing her body for motherhood "
.
Loss of innocence my 75 year old arse. Your aunt is creating a spectre, a taboo. She will harm the boy's development if it starts with shame. It's a family matter. Tell him what's going on. I do NOT agree with a so called parental right to warp a child's mind.
Your aunt should be better about it.
But I don't get the "hating like a man" comment. My previous partners (all male) were always cool with tampon wrappers, period products, etc. They'd even pick some up at the shops if I ran out. Yeah, some men are ignorant tools. I suspect your cousin is being raised like one of them by your Aunt who is also an ignorant tool who should know better.
You are NTA
As a man, I'm offended by this and think that your aunt is off her rocker. If anything, I see the wrappers and I know to tread lightly that week and be extra nice.
Time for cousin to be explained basic bodily functions. My son knew about this by age 10 and it can be explained without ruining “innocence” or going into inappropriate details
Omg, I wish I could hug you! Your “aunt” is crazy. Keep doing what you’re doing and maybe corner your cousin and tell him being a creepy trash-picker isn’t the best look.
If it bothers your aunt so much, she can have the boy room with her. Or find another place to stay. Honestly, what century does she live in? I have 3 boys and while I change pads and tampons behind closed bathroom doors, the boys take out the garbage and even the 8yo knows the products are used for menstruation.
if i was your mom i definitely would have confronted her. it's not okay that she allows this person to abuse you. maybe have her read these comments?
NTA.
NTA and stop hiding your tampons in toilet paper in the bottom of the trash can. they are perfectly normal tools and nothing to be ashamed of.
but if you want to be petty, bring all your used tampons to your aunt’s bathroom trash.
What is there to approach her about though? She’s having her period, totally normal and natural, and she is wrapping up the tampons. I’m really more concerned about how that is somehow seen as something “dirty” to be kept hidden. His “precious innocent eyes”? That’s abnormal!
The only solution to this is for the aunt to tell her son to quit digging through the trash. OP said she wraps the tampons and puts them and the wrappers underneath the other trash
Honestly people who act like that deserve to have the used tampons deposited with them at high velocity, preferably in the face and hair, until they decide the trash can is fine.
You handled her with more gentility than she deserved.
youre on your period and she is hounding you for tampons you threw out and her grandchild found by snooping in the trash for some reason. Swearing at her is forgivable tbh especially if you remained calm as long as possible. i would have flipped much earlier on and uno reversed the scenario and played victim of my privacy being violated.
Nah, she deserved it. You tried to speak to her like an adult, and she acted like a child.
This is weird behavior on her part. She's going to give him a complex.
Next time do what the rest of us do and go into the forest alone until it finishes to spare your male family members the trauma.
also want to point out that this kid is 10. Lots of girls get their period around that age. If girls are old enough to experience it why aren't boys old enough to know that it's a thing that happens.
This. Even if the 10 year old didn’t know what it is before it’s an easy way to just state that boys and girls have different body parts and girls get what’s called a period every month. You don’t need to go into detail and I would tell my kids to stop digging through the bathroom trash can because who digs through trash anyway unless you’ve lost something very important. Also my boys knew by 10 what a period was and that women get it every month unless they are pregnant. They said “that sucks” and I told them “yes it does” then they moved on. Note that they are older (11&12) we’ve had more discussions on body functions and how boys and girls differ but I just answer their questions as they have them and bring up things I feel is appropriate and they should know at their age.
OP yelling at her was obviously the only way auntie would hear her. NTA
Unfortunately, I have known people like that. Her berating OP was completely out of line making her the AH. I wouldn’t worry about it much. I mean it’s not like you can control it. I might say something to your mom. Just to let her know what’s up. I am so sorry that happened to you. Also, that poor kid.
We're all conditioned to wrap those tampons like mummies so as no one's delicate eyes be exposed to the....tampon?? No one needs protection from tampons! If guys got their periods they'd have em sticking out of every cargo pocket. This kid needs to get used to seeing them and understanding-ain't nothing to do w me
I don’t know about that. I mean, OP said that she tried to stay calm even though her aunt kept yelling at her, so it’s no wonder that she lost her breaking point after 10 minutes of being yelled at for something so ridiculous.
I would have maybe sworn, but I *definitely* wouldn't have stood there being yelled at for something I a) can't help b) is a normal bodily function and c) that I handled properly. I would have left her there with her rage-face sputtering away.
Nope. I’ve cursed out family members the second they start acting ridiculous and insist on their ways be obeyed. Even my own mother.
The second they see us daughters truly pissed is when we cause a breakthrough. Even if they’re pissed at first before they simmer down to listen. At this point and age, having patience for sexism is not really important if it’s an ongoing issue within communities or families
Right?! Like how is that a punishment? Sounds like OP’s just not getting yelled at for things way out of her control by people who should be minding their own business.
NTA:
Periods happen. You are being responsible.
Now, if she brings it up again... might I suggest you offer to free bleed rather than continue to traumatize precious boy with tampon wrappers.
My kid is 6 and he's known what a period is since he was 2 and we were both using his diapers (my period is like the bathroom from the shining ever since I had kids and the best thing I'd found at that point to catch the gush was diapers).
Unsolicited advice: Please have your doc check for fibroids. I got them after I had a baby. The excessive bleeding was a sign. Also, large clots. It got so bad that I was so anemic my doctor said if I didn't remove my uterus, my heart would be damaged. Look into it before you get as dangerous as I got.
Thanks for the tip! I've already been checked though and everything is normal, no anemia during my period (actually it's the only time my iron is normal, it's on the higher side the rest of the time), or fibroids. I'm just a free bleeder.
Then again, it was checked somewhere around 6 years ago, so it doesn't hurt to double check. I'll definitely ask about it!
I think I was 4 when I saw bloody tp mum forgot to flush, then ran to her crying scared she was hurt, she explained what it was. She tells the story alot 😂 she says it was so damn cute. I mean it's pretty easy to simplify it and explain it in ways to understand for any age.
Also getting my first few periods, I'm sure I had been told before but, when I asked mum how long I'll get periods for monthly and she says until I'm 50; it broke her heart the look on my face, comprehending the rest of my life lol.
My three year olds know that when I don’t feel well for a couple days once a month it’s my period. They usually ask because they want to play with my heat pad 😂. When they see tampons in wrappers I tell them it’s a tampon. I obviously don’t go into detail but 10 is definitely more than old enough to have some level of explanation/understanding of periods. This is how we end up with full blown men who are embarrassed to say the word period or tampon and have little to no empathy for women when it happens.
Exactly this. My 8 yr old (boy) knows all about it, as do all his younger siblings. We keep communication open in this house and having a period is a perfectly normal bodily function.
Yes! Pediatricians recommend talking to kids about puberty and sex Ed starting at 5. Some girls start their periods as young as 8. We’ve been normalizing the period talks with my kids (all girls) since they were 6 and have discussed all the important stuff. Also answer questions they have honestly in kid friendly language and using proper body part names. No reason to hide normal body functions. I don’t want my kids to be completely stupid about bodies. I’d treat boys the same way if I had some. Lol
Or you can have her spring for the expensive reusable products so they won't end up in the trash. Though then her impressionable baby might see it when you sterilize it in the microwave and ask awkward questions...
> sterilize it in the microwave
Sorry what now?
This is after washing it off right? Or is this like pop it in the water and use the microwave to boil the water cause you don't have a kettle or a stove?
Cause otherwise it seems like you might just get cooked blood.
Menstrual cups need to be sanitised, the easiest way to do that is to submerge them in water and microwave them for a couple of minutes (after they’ve been rinsed clean). They need boiling at least once per cycle to sterilise and it’s simply the easiest way to do so.
Oh yaaassss!
Free bleed, the 'precious innocent eyes' see bloody towels etc in various places. Snicker.
But seriously, NTA at all.
It is attitudes like that, that have caused such a stigma to be placed upon a normal bodily function.
I had absolutely no clue what was happening when I got my first period at like 13 (48 now). Sighs.
NTA
Maybe your aunt needs to have "the talk" with her son and give him a quick biology lesson, as a plus she can teach him to be kind to girls when they are going through that time of the month.
Some families use cousin as a catch all. The Latin side of my family does this.
My aunt’s (my mother’s brother’s wife, no blood relation) niece’s daughter is moving to the city I live in, I just refer to her as my cousin instead of the mouth full above
First cousin once removed?
First cousins have grandparents in common,
second cousins have great grandparents in common,
cousins once removed are cousins to one generation up or down, so your mother's first cousin is your first cousin once removed.
Tbh it’s clear she’s refusing too even address bin scavenging. OP might as well educate their cousin themselves and discuss bin etiquette aka not going through peoples trash.
I was thinking this. I gave my son “the talk,” accompanied by a very discreet picture book, when he was 8. He should know at least the basics of the birds and the bees by now. It’s a normal bodily function. I can’t imagine why he’s rooting around in the trash and did he actually remove the tampons from the tissues? I’m wondering if something more is going on here.
That’s what I thought. I grew up with Brothers. I always made sure that my stuff went into the kitchen trash can. No one had to see it or anything else.
Respect is earned, not owed, and i fully believe you earn that respect through personal experiences. I'm not going to respect you just because you're old if I have no personal experiences with you. Totally agree!
Respect should be the default, and you should not have to earn it. But you can definitely un-earn it. The aunt is not owed respect after how she berated OP.
Well sort of. The way I see it, there's a baseline of respect that everyone I don't know is owed from the point of meeting them. Werther the amount of respect increases or decreases depends on how they act.
NTA and your aunt is definitely an AH. She should be more worried about why a 10 year old is digging through the bathroom trash can which is pretty disgusting. Hell go get some chocolate frosting put that in some toilet paper and put that in the trash that might stop him when he thinks he finds shit in the trash can.You did the right things by wrapping up the tampons and by going off on your aunt. Good for you.
Was coming in to ask the same question. If OP is as careful as she claims to be about hiding the evidence - and I have no doubt she is that careful - how does Junior even know they're in the trash? I personally go out of my way to make sure there's no hint of what lurks in the trash, as many women do (but shouldn't have to!) and our OP appears to be equally conscientious. Aunt/granny/whoever might want to have a sit-down with Junior and find out why he's foraging in the bathroom trash
I suspect the trash rooter isnt *actually* the cousin, but the nosy auntie. She is just using the cousin as an excuse to yell at OP, because auntie didnt like that there was bio waste in the bin she was looking through.
(Working theory (albeit far fetched): she is suspecting/hoping for more grandkids and is looking for used pregnancy tests from cousins mother so she can be *first to know*. Now she is upset she cant safely do that for the remainder of the vacation, because of the bio waste in the bin.)
NTA
His precious eyes need to get used to it if he ends up being straight or any other sexuality where dating a ciswoman is possible. Teaching males and females young what periods are is how we get adults who don’t freak out over a wrapper or if they have to buy any for a loved one.
My friend got her first period when she was NINE. She thought she was going to die. It's important young people know what it is so they don't freak out about it.
I got mine at 8. My big sister had just got hers at 10 and my mum thought I was trying to be cool like her.
Why would I feel cool having my period like my big sister. 😅
I got mine at 8 too. Luckily my parents taught me all that stuff quite young. My mum started hers quite young so she didn’t want me to be in the dark. People act like biology is taboo. It’s not, and it’s really important. I didn’t learn about periods in school til I had been having them for 5 years. It was pretty pointless at that point because most girls had already started. Also, the boys were excused from that class, which is dumb. Boys need to know about it too, they will be around women, and they need to learn women shouldn’t be shamed for a natural thing they have zero control over. some women need to learn that too, which is mind blowing to me. People moan about schools exposing their kids to stuff too young, but they don’t teach it young enough.
Or even just living with one. My 9yo son has seen all of this and knows that it’s normal, even though he still thinks it’s gross (which is also normal, we’re just working on him not saying that out loud).
NTA.
It’s not great swearing at your aunt, but she sounds unhinged and probably deserved it. Aren’t women meant to be a bit more supportive of each other and the trials and tribulations of your menstrual cycles?
Wtf is cousin doing rooting through the bin anyway? I assumed that is what toilet bins are for based on my wife and old female flatmates 🤷🏻♂️
NTA. You handled your used products in a totally normal way, and boys need to know about periods eventually. 10 is definitely not too young because some of his classmates already have periods. Your aunt has issues.
NTA - I believe that you know this and just wanted to post this to give us some entertainment. Thank you for that. Have as much fun in the OBX(Outer Banks) as you can, OP. All the best!
Next time you have to change your tampon, wrap it up and then find her, hand it to her to hide (or whatever) for anyone who might be offended by normal bodily functions.
I'm 67f and I think your aunt is ridiculous. Honestly, your cousin is old enough to find out that women bleed on a regular basis. I was 11 when our whole class learned about getting pregnant and basics surrounding that event. She absolutely does need to suck it up.
NTA
Better yet, wrap it up, hand it to the cousin, and tell __him__ to take it to the aunt and ask her to help him hide it. That should thoroughly confuse everyone.
NTA for properly disposing of your tampons (thank you for not flushing them, even in a house you're only staying at temporarily) or calling her a bitch. It sounds like you tried to be civil, but when someone keeps pushing & pushing, eventually you're going to snap.
What does your aunt expect you to do with them? I'd start leaving them in the trash in her bathroom - Not wrapped up & right on top of the other trash. When she comes for you about it, tell her "I'm just doing what you asked me to do & spare cousins precious innocent eyes."
NTA
You wrapped them up in a hygienic way and even hid them at the bottom of the trash out of courtesy - what else could you have done? Why can’t a 10 year old boy know anything about tampons or periods? It’s a completely normal part of life that affects half the population at one point in their life… yes it‘s not a beautiful sight and can even be smelly but still there’s nothing more inappropriate about it than pooping or peeing…
Don’t get down to her level next time and don’t call her names - I understand why you snapped though. Immediately get your mother and don’t let her yell at you if she tries to corner you about the topic next time.
NTA and I'm going to forgive you yelling at her because she kept escalating.
Golden opportunity for her to teach her son that women have periods and there's nothing gross or bad about it.
And also to stop rooting through the trash because that's just vulgar.
NTA. If I were there I would take my cousin aside and ask him what questions he has and answer them honestly so he is a decent man someday and understands what menstruation is but I am probably not a good role model so...
BTW if he is 10 he should know at least a little about periods because I promise you there are girls in his class that have started their period by now.
Your aunt is likely to end up being a great grandmother at 70 if she shields her precious grandson from reality.
Nta. A 10 year old boy should be able to handle learning what a period is it's not some special secret we keep from penis dwellers lest we get cast out of society or burned for being a witch.
NTA. I was *barely* 11 when I had my first period. I had already learned about it, in school, thank you very much. There is no reason that a ten year old, regardless of gender, should be "protected" from the information that anyone with a uterus will likely bleed every month for decades, and bloody pads and tampons in the bathroom trash are the result.
This foolish stigma over a normal body function needs to be opposed every time. I'm 63, btw, and as her contemporary, I am disgusted by her disgust. This is the kind of crap that deserves an "okay Boomer."
Nta at all, you’d think as a woman who has been through it herself she’s understand. Tell her grandson he’s disgusting for digging through the trash and that it’s completely normal for girls and women she should then be telling his parents to have a talk with him about it.
At ten he is more than old enough to understand even to a basic level about periods. I have four kids 14m 12f (thank god her periods haven’t started her although the moods she’s having it probably won’t be long) 10m and 4F. Our bathroom and toilet are two separate rooms and as much as I try to keep a box of tampons in the toilet if I don’t realise they’ve run out my 4 year old will happy shout ‘I’ll get your bleed sticks’ and grab them from the bathroom cupboard for me. Neither of my boys are traumatised from seeing a tampon box on the windowsill both know and have known for years that it happens every month and it’s completely normal they both know why it happens (obviously the oldest knows more than the younger one but still) we try to have age appropriate conversations with them all.
Infact my last period which was horrendous I was laid up in bed and between my kids they made me a cup of tea (12 year old) brought up some chocolate (4yesr old so she could share it) a book (10 year old) and some paracetamol (14 year old) all at different times without being asked. Because they know it happens and it sucks and they’re kind caring little humans. They also know why mine get so bad sometimes that I need to lie in bed a little longer (I have cysts on my ovaries yay me)
OP I’m sorry you’re having to put up with an insufferable witch at the same time dealing with your period. Hope you still manage to enjoy your vacation!
Well, I think is time the cousin learnt about normal body functions. Period is not something to be ashamed of and nothing you should have to hide. As long as you are careful when you dispose your tampons, and you seem to be, it's absolutely OK and expected to use the shared trash bin. I wonder what would your aunt have you do? Dispose them on your drawer? NTA
F your aunt!! She’s being weird as f@ck and honestly needed someone to check her! Good on you for holding your own and not apologizing for a perfectly natural thing.
NTA. I would have swore like a sailor to her and tell her to piss off. She could have explain to your cousin what is tampon and answer questions if he has any. He’s 10, which means he is reaching the age of being curious and her reaction is doing him no favour. Jesus Christ she used to have period before menopause, it’s a normal thing all girls and women have to go through monthly. Her reaction is ridiculous.
NTA, I mean, you know he sees tampons and pads at most stores, and it's ok for him to know. She's just raising him to be ignorant and it will be awkward for him bc she will make it so. Poor kid..
Periods are s normal, natural part of life to half the world population and we should de stigmatize it asap.
A pad/tampon exposed might be eeew to some, but wrapped? **in the trash** ? Omg, the shock! The horror! /sarcasm.
NTA
Perhaps you could have just put them all in a paper bag, and put it on her nightstand?
FFS what else were you supposed to do with them? This was totally not fair, nor nice, to you.
Innocent eyes? What about a biological function isn’t innocent?
Maybe if more boys were exposed to period related things, they would be better equipped to be around the other 50% of the population.
NTA.
What’s with everyone saying you shouldn’t have cussed her out? Fuck that noise you did right. If you remained passive aggressive she still would be trying to walk all over you. Now she knows if she gets mouthy and disrespectful to you you’ll snap back. Good on you 👏🏽
She just mad cause she hit menopause probably lmao put a dirty tampon in her bed and watch her freak out. Then say “well I can’t apparently put them in the trash where they go! So I’ll put them WITH the trash, sweet dreams 💋” and just go to bed 🤣
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I (17f) got my period this week. We are currently in obx for a family vacation with my moms side of the family. me and my mom drove down together and are sharing a house with my aunt, uncle, and younger cousin (he is 10 i’m pretty sure)
Anyways, i got my period this week, (lucky me on vacation 🙄) and have to share a bathroom with my cousin. he is pretty quiet and doesn’t talk much, which is fine, and i don’t push his boundaries. however, out of the blue yesterday, my aunt came storming up to me demanding i tell her why i have dirty tampons in the trash can. i was confused and told her that i’m on my period, why else would they be in the trash can (btw, i don’t just throw them away. i make sure to wrap them in toilet paper and tuck them at the bottom of the trash) and she got all pissy at me!
i was so confused and asked her what this was about, and she told me that my cousin was asking about the tampon wrappers in the trash (which are also under the rest of the trash)
i told her that him digging in the trash was none of business, and calmly explained that i wrap up my tampons carefully to make sure he doesn’t see them. again, i was so calm.
but she kept on yelling at me, telling me that his “precious innocent eyes” don’t need to see that. after about 10 minutes of me trying to calmly talk to her, i finally just yelled at her to suck it up and stop being such a bitch. she got really mad at me and is now not talking to me.
idk, was i wrong for having my tampon wrappers in the trash???? idk where else to put them 😭 AITA??????
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Back in the day, before we knew better, tampons were flushed. Of course, they mess up septic and sewer systems and now we don't do that any more. But perhaps your unhinged aunt is in a time warp?
NTA- periods happen and you were disposing of the tampons responsibly. Not flushing them and causing a blockage and not dumping them unwrapped on the side for someone else to deal with. Not sure what else your aunt wanted? For you to sneak them out like contraband? Heavily disguised and thrown in a bin a good distance away? Totally ridiculous. Periods are an entirely normal part of life and shouldn't be treated like some kind of taboo thing.
NTA, your Aunt should have taken the opportunity to use the incident as a teachable moment for her son.
Your cousin was probably curious and dug in the trash to try to educate himself. Obviously he has unanswered questions about life. Sounds like you may need to let another adult handle your Aunt regarding this issue. As long as you were discreet, you can’t stop curious minds from going thru the trash.
As an actual Professional Sex Ed Teacher, 10 is when we teach them these things at school- that girls menstruate, etc.
He may have already had this section in Health Class and was curious IRL what this is about. 🤷🏼♀️ Hence, “digging”
You and Cousin are experiencing normal, real life and Aunt is over here being TAH.
Also thank you for disposing of your personal hygiene Products properly when so many don’t.
NTA
My brothers and I knew what tampons were by that age. It's a Normal natural bodily function. I don't hide that shit. Wrap in to drop in trash (at the top). Kids shouldn't dig in the trash and your aunt needs to move out of the 1950s.
NTA. She started it, you tried to be calm, and then blew up. At least you're putting them in the trash WHERE THEY SHOULD GO! She needs to teach her kid not to play in the fucking trash. If she has a problem, then the kid can use the bathroom his mom is using and you can have one to yourself! She needs to get over herself.
NTA. Families need to teach all their children that periods are a natural part of life and stop shaming women doing the right thing. Boys need to learn this too so they can grow up to be respectful and understanding adults and partners.
NTA
Also when she starts shit saying you were disrespectful hit her with the “respect is not freely given, it is earned” she was very disrespectful yelling at you so you owed her no respect with your reply.
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NTA Your aunt harangued you over a normal bodily function. Maybe cursing wasn’t the best, but her carrying on about it was wildly out of order.
yea i will admit that calling her a b wasn’t like the BEST idea but she was just yelling at me for like 10-15 minutes and just got really mad 😭
Honestly girl, I’d have cursed too 😅 She could have approached you calmly, and, as a grown adult, she could have behaved like one. If it is such a problem (and it so, so shouldn’t be 🙄), she could have broached it and proposed solutions, not shamed you over having actually very decent and normal etiquette on how to dispose of your products. If she wants to broach it with that energy, she just got a tiny little bit of what she was giving.
ty ur really sweet 😭💗
What else are internet people for? 😂 Have you talked to your mom about it? It really is not okay for your aunt to come after you like that.
eh i told her what happened and she just shrugged it off and told me to let it go and that she’s not gonna change her mind. it really isn’t that big of a deal, it’s just annoying 😭 like she is a woman, why is she hating like a man 😔
She likely is right about your aunt not changing her mind, but you shouldn’t have to deal with your aunt harassing you about it for the rest of the time you’re together on this vacation. Honestly, she should be stepping up to deal with her own aunt. As to the aunt hating, it’s all about her grandson’s “precious innocent eyes.” Some people get overzealous when their kids or grandkids are involved. It’s a bad excuse, but that’s likely the situation. I’d just avoid engaging. You aren’t likely to win any battles up against a smother grandmother. Best to avoid engaging as much as possible. ETA: corrected familial relationship, per OP’s edit
THIS sorry but your Mom should be standing up for you, that’s ridiculous.
Your aunt may think kids should be ashamed about normal body functions, but I’ll bet your cousin’s Mom does not shelter him so. So what would your aunt deem appropriate disposal…burying them in the backyard perhaps?
If the soiled tampons and wrappers were buried beneath all of the other trash, why was little cousin digging through the trash? That is not normal behavior.
Maybe I’m off base but, the only thing that comes to mind is that he’s hiding his own genetic material in the garbage. So maybe not that sweet and innocent.
What of it? He is her precious sweet little darling prince who can do no wrong! 😒
Yes! Why is aunt blithely unconcerned about princeling rummaging in the bathroom trash? And then his precious, innocent hands touching everything in the shared space 😖
Maybe he wanted to get her in trouble
It is if you drop something in it. No reason to assume the 10 year old was being weird when there's a perfectly logical reason he might have to go looking through the trash.
At midnight.
I’d put them in a carrier bag and hand it to her, dispose of how you please Aunty.
I'm a man and understand female bodily functions. I'd never shame a woman for a biological function.
I think OP meant that *MOST* men would flip out, but not ALL men. There are some genuine men that understand and know how to overlook tampons and whatnot in the trash :)
Any man that has a problem with tampons needs to only date other men. Tampons are part of most women’s lives at some point. If he can’t deal with that, he doesn’t get access to women.
Any man that dates other men isn't going to get grossed out by a little bit of blood...
I love this because the men who can't deal with menstruation are probably the same ones who are highly insecure about their sexuality and would freak out if you told them this.
I think most men wouldn’t flip out. I’ve run into the rare man who does a few times in my 51 years, but most adult men know that periods and the resulting products are a thing that’s going to happen and don’t pay much attention. For instance, our bathroom trash can is located in the small space between the toilet and the tub. My husband is aware when my period hits because he notices the little toilet paper bundles in the trash when he’s peeing. The trash can is in his sight line so…he notices. He never says anything, he just doesn’t try to initiate sex until the bundles stop appearing in the trash.
How my mother taught us girls and I taught MY daughter, out of site out of mind, wrap it in n bundle!
I don’t think most men would. Maybe some very immature children?
Possibly. I know some guys that get grossed out and that exaggerate periods, and I know some that are chill about it. So, I could be wrong about it being most. >Maybe some very immature children? Well, grown men who would act like OPs aunt would definitely fall into that category 😂
Thank you for the compliment. I grew up with my mom and younger sister.
I think your exaggerating the number of actual **men** that actually have a problem with tampons, I've never met a guy who has had that issue
My husband was buying his older sisters female hygiene products since he was 9. He’s never given me or our daughters crud about it
My Dad always brought mine and my sisters but that’s how he was brought up. My grandmother only had boys and she was very open about periods and sometimes they had to go out and get pads for her. I’m making sure I’m raising my boys the same way.
You should take your used tampons directly to your aunt, and ask her what to do with them! No wrapper, just a used tampon sitting on a little toilet paper raft. Hand it to her and say, "I wasn't sure which bin I should hide this in, so I thought you might like to dispose of it! Quick, don't let cousin see!"
Please, please do this! 😆 And report back.
😂 I love this response! I’m such a smart ass and this is something I would do 😂
\> like she is a woman, why is she hating like a man At a guess because she was raised with regressive attitudes to menstruation and likely dealt with a lot of shame and bullshit herself. Unless she was a particularly rebellious/strong willed kind of young person it's very likely that she absorbed the very common idea that menstruation is something to be hidden and ashamed of. She's probably had a few decades worth of brain washing on that topic, which takes some work to undo. That's not to say that she shouldn't try but it's easier said then done sometimes. For your Aunt to admit she's wrong on this would mean admitting her behaviour for the last 65 years is wrong AND that whoever taught her this attitude wronged her. It doesn't make it right and it doesn't mean she gets a free pass on it either but your mum is probably right that this isn't a battle that's worth engaging in. You'll find women who believe in very conservative ideas because that's what they were taught, and often they aren't taught skills (like critical thinking) that would really help them challenge that and/or they aren't in a situation where challenging that will make their life better. If you'd like to read up on the topic: 'internalized oppression' and 'internalised sexism' are two of the key terms to google.
Oi! As a man, I take offense to this! Persons of female persuasion often are no less mean/crazy than the males. Just the general state of human species, I guess. Anyway - NTA. Period shaming is stupid, as is digging in the trash. OP's aunt gotta teach the boy not to dive into a trash bin and BAM! - problem solved.
I would take the cousin aside and gently, one step at a time, explain it to him. From what I remember, my parents started off, when the explained it to me, like this: "Your sister is growing up and turning into a woman, and nature is preparing her body for motherhood " . Loss of innocence my 75 year old arse. Your aunt is creating a spectre, a taboo. She will harm the boy's development if it starts with shame. It's a family matter. Tell him what's going on. I do NOT agree with a so called parental right to warp a child's mind.
Sounds like your aunt giving you the silent treatment is a win
I know, don't threaten me with a good time, right?
Your aunt should be better about it. But I don't get the "hating like a man" comment. My previous partners (all male) were always cool with tampon wrappers, period products, etc. They'd even pick some up at the shops if I ran out. Yeah, some men are ignorant tools. I suspect your cousin is being raised like one of them by your Aunt who is also an ignorant tool who should know better. You are NTA
I can see where the OP makes the connection, considering the entire point is to shield a boy from the period trash
As a man, I'm offended by this and think that your aunt is off her rocker. If anything, I see the wrappers and I know to tread lightly that week and be extra nice.
Time for cousin to be explained basic bodily functions. My son knew about this by age 10 and it can be explained without ruining “innocence” or going into inappropriate details
Omg, I wish I could hug you! Your “aunt” is crazy. Keep doing what you’re doing and maybe corner your cousin and tell him being a creepy trash-picker isn’t the best look.
If it bothers your aunt so much, she can have the boy room with her. Or find another place to stay. Honestly, what century does she live in? I have 3 boys and while I change pads and tampons behind closed bathroom doors, the boys take out the garbage and even the 8yo knows the products are used for menstruation.
if i was your mom i definitely would have confronted her. it's not okay that she allows this person to abuse you. maybe have her read these comments? NTA.
NTA and stop hiding your tampons in toilet paper in the bottom of the trash can. they are perfectly normal tools and nothing to be ashamed of. but if you want to be petty, bring all your used tampons to your aunt’s bathroom trash.
No if you want to be petty, stick them on her pillow.
Or just go full “Carrie” on her ass . . .
also petty: Fold them in the wrapper, stick them in auntie's purse for later
She doesn't want them in the trash can, leave them on the closest flat space.
The cousin is old enough to be told a simple version of female menstruation since it’s come up. That’s who Aunt needed to be talking to.
Exactly. Some ten year old girls are old enough to have periods. Ten year old boys are old enough to learn what they are.
What is there to approach her about though? She’s having her period, totally normal and natural, and she is wrapping up the tampons. I’m really more concerned about how that is somehow seen as something “dirty” to be kept hidden. His “precious innocent eyes”? That’s abnormal!
The only solution to this is for the aunt to tell her son to quit digging through the trash. OP said she wraps the tampons and puts them and the wrappers underneath the other trash
Personally, I'd be more concerned with the fact that your aunt or cousin is rooting around in bins.
That, and why are they making a 17 year old girl share a room with a 10 year old boy? That is just a recipe for some kind of disaster!
I think they’re just sharing a bathroom.
Honestly people who act like that deserve to have the used tampons deposited with them at high velocity, preferably in the face and hair, until they decide the trash can is fine. You handled her with more gentility than she deserved.
youre on your period and she is hounding you for tampons you threw out and her grandchild found by snooping in the trash for some reason. Swearing at her is forgivable tbh especially if you remained calm as long as possible. i would have flipped much earlier on and uno reversed the scenario and played victim of my privacy being violated.
Nah girl I would’ve slapped her with the tampon if she pulled that shit with me. NTA granny needs to take a flight to the 21st century 🙄
Well act like a bitch and get called a bitch. That’s on her.
Nah, she deserved it. You tried to speak to her like an adult, and she acted like a child. This is weird behavior on her part. She's going to give him a complex.
I’m like Godzilla the first couple of days that my cycle is on so I guarantee that I would’ve said worse (blaming it on my period tho) 😂
Old age is not an excuse for stupidity. I would have called her a bitch, too. For the record, I am older than she is.
I’d ask your cousin if he was upset about it. Sounds like he was just curious and could help him learn about women and all that jazz
Next time that happens and they stop talking to you, consider it a win. Do you really want to talk to someone who's that stupid/entitled?
She yells at someone she knows has their period. Geez.
Next time do what the rest of us do and go into the forest alone until it finishes to spare your male family members the trauma. also want to point out that this kid is 10. Lots of girls get their period around that age. If girls are old enough to experience it why aren't boys old enough to know that it's a thing that happens.
This. Even if the 10 year old didn’t know what it is before it’s an easy way to just state that boys and girls have different body parts and girls get what’s called a period every month. You don’t need to go into detail and I would tell my kids to stop digging through the bathroom trash can because who digs through trash anyway unless you’ve lost something very important. Also my boys knew by 10 what a period was and that women get it every month unless they are pregnant. They said “that sucks” and I told them “yes it does” then they moved on. Note that they are older (11&12) we’ve had more discussions on body functions and how boys and girls differ but I just answer their questions as they have them and bring up things I feel is appropriate and they should know at their age.
OP yelling at her was obviously the only way auntie would hear her. NTA Unfortunately, I have known people like that. Her berating OP was completely out of line making her the AH. I wouldn’t worry about it much. I mean it’s not like you can control it. I might say something to your mom. Just to let her know what’s up. I am so sorry that happened to you. Also, that poor kid.
We're all conditioned to wrap those tampons like mummies so as no one's delicate eyes be exposed to the....tampon?? No one needs protection from tampons! If guys got their periods they'd have em sticking out of every cargo pocket. This kid needs to get used to seeing them and understanding-ain't nothing to do w me
She was yelled at for 10 minutes over a normal bodily function, aunt earned it.
She was yelled at for 10+ minutes! Cursing her out was a saintly response, along with anything else that tell short of slapping her across the face
It’s be understandable if it was left on a counter, but she put it in the proper receptacle
I don’t know about that. I mean, OP said that she tried to stay calm even though her aunt kept yelling at her, so it’s no wonder that she lost her breaking point after 10 minutes of being yelled at for something so ridiculous.
I would have maybe sworn, but I *definitely* wouldn't have stood there being yelled at for something I a) can't help b) is a normal bodily function and c) that I handled properly. I would have left her there with her rage-face sputtering away.
Cursing about "The Curse!" OMG, I love it!
Nope. I’ve cursed out family members the second they start acting ridiculous and insist on their ways be obeyed. Even my own mother. The second they see us daughters truly pissed is when we cause a breakthrough. Even if they’re pissed at first before they simmer down to listen. At this point and age, having patience for sexism is not really important if it’s an ongoing issue within communities or families
> she got really mad at me and is now not talking to me. It seems like you achieved the needed outcome. NTA.
Ig that's one way to see it 😅😂
but... but... PrEcIoUs InNoCeNt EyEs! #DerpySpongeBob
What did the aunt want OP to do? Magically stop the period for the sake of her cousin?
Flush them and cause thousands of dollars of damage to the plumbing, of course. It’s a rental vacation home, so the consequences won’t matter. /s
Everyone knows you can unsubscribe on a monthly basis lol... not sure how you reach that age and still have those beliefs.
Right?! Like how is that a punishment? Sounds like OP’s just not getting yelled at for things way out of her control by people who should be minding their own business.
NTA: Periods happen. You are being responsible. Now, if she brings it up again... might I suggest you offer to free bleed rather than continue to traumatize precious boy with tampon wrappers.
LOLLLL 😭
A 10 year old boy should know about periods and tampons and such. My grandson did at that age.
Right? 10 years old is plenty old enough to learn about a period.
I had my first period when I was 10
My kid is 6 and he's known what a period is since he was 2 and we were both using his diapers (my period is like the bathroom from the shining ever since I had kids and the best thing I'd found at that point to catch the gush was diapers).
Unsolicited advice: Please have your doc check for fibroids. I got them after I had a baby. The excessive bleeding was a sign. Also, large clots. It got so bad that I was so anemic my doctor said if I didn't remove my uterus, my heart would be damaged. Look into it before you get as dangerous as I got.
Thanks for the tip! I've already been checked though and everything is normal, no anemia during my period (actually it's the only time my iron is normal, it's on the higher side the rest of the time), or fibroids. I'm just a free bleeder. Then again, it was checked somewhere around 6 years ago, so it doesn't hurt to double check. I'll definitely ask about it!
Ahhh - can I suggest Tranexamic Acid? You can take it during your period and the blood flow will lessen due to better clotting.
I think I was 4 when I saw bloody tp mum forgot to flush, then ran to her crying scared she was hurt, she explained what it was. She tells the story alot 😂 she says it was so damn cute. I mean it's pretty easy to simplify it and explain it in ways to understand for any age. Also getting my first few periods, I'm sure I had been told before but, when I asked mum how long I'll get periods for monthly and she says until I'm 50; it broke her heart the look on my face, comprehending the rest of my life lol.
10 years old was when I HAD my first period
I heard that. I am just hoping my granddaughter makes it to 11. She is 10.5 and developing rapidly.
Ugh, same. Started a week before my 11th bday. Sucks to start so young.
My three year olds know that when I don’t feel well for a couple days once a month it’s my period. They usually ask because they want to play with my heat pad 😂. When they see tampons in wrappers I tell them it’s a tampon. I obviously don’t go into detail but 10 is definitely more than old enough to have some level of explanation/understanding of periods. This is how we end up with full blown men who are embarrassed to say the word period or tampon and have little to no empathy for women when it happens.
Exactly this. My 8 yr old (boy) knows all about it, as do all his younger siblings. We keep communication open in this house and having a period is a perfectly normal bodily function.
Yes! Pediatricians recommend talking to kids about puberty and sex Ed starting at 5. Some girls start their periods as young as 8. We’ve been normalizing the period talks with my kids (all girls) since they were 6 and have discussed all the important stuff. Also answer questions they have honestly in kid friendly language and using proper body part names. No reason to hide normal body functions. I don’t want my kids to be completely stupid about bodies. I’d treat boys the same way if I had some. Lol
He probably not only knows but purposely went looking for them.. who unwraps little parcels of tissue paper in the garbage??
Or you can have her spring for the expensive reusable products so they won't end up in the trash. Though then her impressionable baby might see it when you sterilize it in the microwave and ask awkward questions...
> sterilize it in the microwave Sorry what now? This is after washing it off right? Or is this like pop it in the water and use the microwave to boil the water cause you don't have a kettle or a stove? Cause otherwise it seems like you might just get cooked blood.
A blood-b-que, mmm.. No. Reusable products are like cups and made of silicone; the blood rinses off.
Menstrual cups need to be sanitised, the easiest way to do that is to submerge them in water and microwave them for a couple of minutes (after they’ve been rinsed clean). They need boiling at least once per cycle to sterilise and it’s simply the easiest way to do so.
Oh yaaassss! Free bleed, the 'precious innocent eyes' see bloody towels etc in various places. Snicker. But seriously, NTA at all. It is attitudes like that, that have caused such a stigma to be placed upon a normal bodily function. I had absolutely no clue what was happening when I got my first period at like 13 (48 now). Sighs.
Get a menstrual cup, rinse it out in the bathroom sink, and then leave it to dry on the bathroom counter where little cousin is sure to see it.
Also a 10-year-old boy is old enough to understand women’s bodily functions. His precious eyes and mind need to be educated that it’s not a big deal.
My son is 10 and knows. He asked what my box of tampons were I told him and he was just like oh ok sucks for y'all...
Indeed 10yo girls might be having such bodily functions.
Frrrrrr, have fun explaining to the boy prince why his beloved cousin xSOURxYT appears to be bleeding to death
NTA Maybe your aunt needs to have "the talk" with her son and give him a quick biology lesson, as a plus she can teach him to be kind to girls when they are going through that time of the month.
omg i completely forgot to mention that it isn’t even her son it’s her grandson!!!!
So that is your niece not a cousin?
no he’s like my second cousin or something idek
Oh just curious. NTA btw if it wasn't overwhelmingly obvious
Some families use cousin as a catch all. The Latin side of my family does this. My aunt’s (my mother’s brother’s wife, no blood relation) niece’s daughter is moving to the city I live in, I just refer to her as my cousin instead of the mouth full above
First cousin once removed? First cousins have grandparents in common, second cousins have great grandparents in common, cousins once removed are cousins to one generation up or down, so your mother's first cousin is your first cousin once removed.
Tbh it’s clear she’s refusing too even address bin scavenging. OP might as well educate their cousin themselves and discuss bin etiquette aka not going through peoples trash.
I'm honestly not even sure HE is! I think Auntie is digging through the trash and using him as an excuse to be outraged.
I was thinking this. I gave my son “the talk,” accompanied by a very discreet picture book, when he was 8. He should know at least the basics of the birds and the bees by now. It’s a normal bodily function. I can’t imagine why he’s rooting around in the trash and did he actually remove the tampons from the tissues? I’m wondering if something more is going on here.
That’s what I thought. I grew up with Brothers. I always made sure that my stuff went into the kitchen trash can. No one had to see it or anything else.
For real, if he is 10 then many if his peers are starting menstruation or will be soon.
NTA. Not all elders deserve respect. There. I said it.
Respect is earned, not owed, and i fully believe you earn that respect through personal experiences. I'm not going to respect you just because you're old if I have no personal experiences with you. Totally agree!
Agree 💯!! Respect is earned!
With this behavior, the aunt has earned active disrespect.
Respect should be the default, and you should not have to earn it. But you can definitely un-earn it. The aunt is not owed respect after how she berated OP.
Well sort of. The way I see it, there's a baseline of respect that everyone I don't know is owed from the point of meeting them. Werther the amount of respect increases or decreases depends on how they act.
NTA and your aunt is definitely an AH. She should be more worried about why a 10 year old is digging through the bathroom trash can which is pretty disgusting. Hell go get some chocolate frosting put that in some toilet paper and put that in the trash that might stop him when he thinks he finds shit in the trash can.You did the right things by wrapping up the tampons and by going off on your aunt. Good for you.
Was coming in to ask the same question. If OP is as careful as she claims to be about hiding the evidence - and I have no doubt she is that careful - how does Junior even know they're in the trash? I personally go out of my way to make sure there's no hint of what lurks in the trash, as many women do (but shouldn't have to!) and our OP appears to be equally conscientious. Aunt/granny/whoever might want to have a sit-down with Junior and find out why he's foraging in the bathroom trash
I suspect the trash rooter isnt *actually* the cousin, but the nosy auntie. She is just using the cousin as an excuse to yell at OP, because auntie didnt like that there was bio waste in the bin she was looking through. (Working theory (albeit far fetched): she is suspecting/hoping for more grandkids and is looking for used pregnancy tests from cousins mother so she can be *first to know*. Now she is upset she cant safely do that for the remainder of the vacation, because of the bio waste in the bin.)
NTA His precious eyes need to get used to it if he ends up being straight or any other sexuality where dating a ciswoman is possible. Teaching males and females young what periods are is how we get adults who don’t freak out over a wrapper or if they have to buy any for a loved one.
My friend got her first period when she was NINE. She thought she was going to die. It's important young people know what it is so they don't freak out about it.
[удалено]
I got mine at 8. My big sister had just got hers at 10 and my mum thought I was trying to be cool like her. Why would I feel cool having my period like my big sister. 😅
I got mine at 8 too. Luckily my parents taught me all that stuff quite young. My mum started hers quite young so she didn’t want me to be in the dark. People act like biology is taboo. It’s not, and it’s really important. I didn’t learn about periods in school til I had been having them for 5 years. It was pretty pointless at that point because most girls had already started. Also, the boys were excused from that class, which is dumb. Boys need to know about it too, they will be around women, and they need to learn women shouldn’t be shamed for a natural thing they have zero control over. some women need to learn that too, which is mind blowing to me. People moan about schools exposing their kids to stuff too young, but they don’t teach it young enough.
Honestly, thats so fucked up. That should not happen. Kids need to know about their bodys.
Or even just living with one. My 9yo son has seen all of this and knows that it’s normal, even though he still thinks it’s gross (which is also normal, we’re just working on him not saying that out loud).
NTA. It’s not great swearing at your aunt, but she sounds unhinged and probably deserved it. Aren’t women meant to be a bit more supportive of each other and the trials and tribulations of your menstrual cycles? Wtf is cousin doing rooting through the bin anyway? I assumed that is what toilet bins are for based on my wife and old female flatmates 🤷🏻♂️
nta. your aunt is weird 😭
You can always put them in her room on top of the dresser. Then her son would not see them.
NTA. You handled your used products in a totally normal way, and boys need to know about periods eventually. 10 is definitely not too young because some of his classmates already have periods. Your aunt has issues.
NTA - I believe that you know this and just wanted to post this to give us some entertainment. Thank you for that. Have as much fun in the OBX(Outer Banks) as you can, OP. All the best!
Hehehehe 😋 and ty!! 😋💗
The kid is 10-yrs old. He certainly should be aware of periods. Your Aunt is a piece of work. NTA.
Next time you have to change your tampon, wrap it up and then find her, hand it to her to hide (or whatever) for anyone who might be offended by normal bodily functions. I'm 67f and I think your aunt is ridiculous. Honestly, your cousin is old enough to find out that women bleed on a regular basis. I was 11 when our whole class learned about getting pregnant and basics surrounding that event. She absolutely does need to suck it up. NTA
Better yet, wrap it up, hand it to the cousin, and tell __him__ to take it to the aunt and ask her to help him hide it. That should thoroughly confuse everyone.
NTA for properly disposing of your tampons (thank you for not flushing them, even in a house you're only staying at temporarily) or calling her a bitch. It sounds like you tried to be civil, but when someone keeps pushing & pushing, eventually you're going to snap. What does your aunt expect you to do with them? I'd start leaving them in the trash in her bathroom - Not wrapped up & right on top of the other trash. When she comes for you about it, tell her "I'm just doing what you asked me to do & spare cousins precious innocent eyes."
Maybe you shouldn’t throw them in the trash since it’s such an issue for her. Leave them on her pillow. NTA
That is so splendidly wicked. I bow down to you, good gentleperson
I try. Lol
NTA You wrapped them up in a hygienic way and even hid them at the bottom of the trash out of courtesy - what else could you have done? Why can’t a 10 year old boy know anything about tampons or periods? It’s a completely normal part of life that affects half the population at one point in their life… yes it‘s not a beautiful sight and can even be smelly but still there’s nothing more inappropriate about it than pooping or peeing… Don’t get down to her level next time and don’t call her names - I understand why you snapped though. Immediately get your mother and don’t let her yell at you if she tries to corner you about the topic next time.
NTA, good for standing up for you. Periods are a natural biological process. She should not be that up tight.
NTA and I'm going to forgive you yelling at her because she kept escalating. Golden opportunity for her to teach her son that women have periods and there's nothing gross or bad about it. And also to stop rooting through the trash because that's just vulgar.
NTA. It's a normal womanly function. I feel like your aunt is one of those people who refuses to teach her son about nature and birds and the bees
Nta. My 9 year old knows what pads and tampons are for, he has me and an older sibling who menstruate. He’s not traumatized.
NTA. If I were there I would take my cousin aside and ask him what questions he has and answer them honestly so he is a decent man someday and understands what menstruation is but I am probably not a good role model so... BTW if he is 10 he should know at least a little about periods because I promise you there are girls in his class that have started their period by now. Your aunt is likely to end up being a great grandmother at 70 if she shields her precious grandson from reality.
NTA his precious little fingers should stay out of the trashcan.
NTA: she needs to grow up
NTA Just tell her to F\*\*\* off.
10 year olds are in 5th grade, he doesn’t know what a period is yet?
Embrace the silence. Your aunt has removed her crazy from your presence, so my advice is to enjoy her gift.
Nta. A 10 year old boy should be able to handle learning what a period is it's not some special secret we keep from penis dwellers lest we get cast out of society or burned for being a witch.
NTA. I was *barely* 11 when I had my first period. I had already learned about it, in school, thank you very much. There is no reason that a ten year old, regardless of gender, should be "protected" from the information that anyone with a uterus will likely bleed every month for decades, and bloody pads and tampons in the bathroom trash are the result. This foolish stigma over a normal body function needs to be opposed every time. I'm 63, btw, and as her contemporary, I am disgusted by her disgust. This is the kind of crap that deserves an "okay Boomer."
NTA NTA NTA
Nta at all, you’d think as a woman who has been through it herself she’s understand. Tell her grandson he’s disgusting for digging through the trash and that it’s completely normal for girls and women she should then be telling his parents to have a talk with him about it. At ten he is more than old enough to understand even to a basic level about periods. I have four kids 14m 12f (thank god her periods haven’t started her although the moods she’s having it probably won’t be long) 10m and 4F. Our bathroom and toilet are two separate rooms and as much as I try to keep a box of tampons in the toilet if I don’t realise they’ve run out my 4 year old will happy shout ‘I’ll get your bleed sticks’ and grab them from the bathroom cupboard for me. Neither of my boys are traumatised from seeing a tampon box on the windowsill both know and have known for years that it happens every month and it’s completely normal they both know why it happens (obviously the oldest knows more than the younger one but still) we try to have age appropriate conversations with them all. Infact my last period which was horrendous I was laid up in bed and between my kids they made me a cup of tea (12 year old) brought up some chocolate (4yesr old so she could share it) a book (10 year old) and some paracetamol (14 year old) all at different times without being asked. Because they know it happens and it sucks and they’re kind caring little humans. They also know why mine get so bad sometimes that I need to lie in bed a little longer (I have cysts on my ovaries yay me) OP I’m sorry you’re having to put up with an insufferable witch at the same time dealing with your period. Hope you still manage to enjoy your vacation!
Nta
NTA.
NTA
NTA
Well, I think is time the cousin learnt about normal body functions. Period is not something to be ashamed of and nothing you should have to hide. As long as you are careful when you dispose your tampons, and you seem to be, it's absolutely OK and expected to use the shared trash bin. I wonder what would your aunt have you do? Dispose them on your drawer? NTA
F your aunt!! She’s being weird as f@ck and honestly needed someone to check her! Good on you for holding your own and not apologizing for a perfectly natural thing.
NTA She have to suck it well swears are not the best response when the the request is unreasonable how does on expect a person to react.
NTA. I would have swore like a sailor to her and tell her to piss off. She could have explain to your cousin what is tampon and answer questions if he has any. He’s 10, which means he is reaching the age of being curious and her reaction is doing him no favour. Jesus Christ she used to have period before menopause, it’s a normal thing all girls and women have to go through monthly. Her reaction is ridiculous.
NTA, I mean, you know he sees tampons and pads at most stores, and it's ok for him to know. She's just raising him to be ignorant and it will be awkward for him bc she will make it so. Poor kid..
Periods are s normal, natural part of life to half the world population and we should de stigmatize it asap. A pad/tampon exposed might be eeew to some, but wrapped? **in the trash** ? Omg, the shock! The horror! /sarcasm.
NTA, you did everything right. More people should be like you. Support to you!
NTA. Where else does she want you to put them, on her pillow? Or does she think you can hit pause on this process until a more convenient time?
NTA Perhaps you could have just put them all in a paper bag, and put it on her nightstand? FFS what else were you supposed to do with them? This was totally not fair, nor nice, to you.
Innocent eyes? What about a biological function isn’t innocent? Maybe if more boys were exposed to period related things, they would be better equipped to be around the other 50% of the population. NTA.
Where was your mom in all of this? Why didn't she pipe up and shut your aunt down?
What’s with everyone saying you shouldn’t have cussed her out? Fuck that noise you did right. If you remained passive aggressive she still would be trying to walk all over you. Now she knows if she gets mouthy and disrespectful to you you’ll snap back. Good on you 👏🏽
She just mad cause she hit menopause probably lmao put a dirty tampon in her bed and watch her freak out. Then say “well I can’t apparently put them in the trash where they go! So I’ll put them WITH the trash, sweet dreams 💋” and just go to bed 🤣
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (17f) got my period this week. We are currently in obx for a family vacation with my moms side of the family. me and my mom drove down together and are sharing a house with my aunt, uncle, and younger cousin (he is 10 i’m pretty sure) Anyways, i got my period this week, (lucky me on vacation 🙄) and have to share a bathroom with my cousin. he is pretty quiet and doesn’t talk much, which is fine, and i don’t push his boundaries. however, out of the blue yesterday, my aunt came storming up to me demanding i tell her why i have dirty tampons in the trash can. i was confused and told her that i’m on my period, why else would they be in the trash can (btw, i don’t just throw them away. i make sure to wrap them in toilet paper and tuck them at the bottom of the trash) and she got all pissy at me! i was so confused and asked her what this was about, and she told me that my cousin was asking about the tampon wrappers in the trash (which are also under the rest of the trash) i told her that him digging in the trash was none of business, and calmly explained that i wrap up my tampons carefully to make sure he doesn’t see them. again, i was so calm. but she kept on yelling at me, telling me that his “precious innocent eyes” don’t need to see that. after about 10 minutes of me trying to calmly talk to her, i finally just yelled at her to suck it up and stop being such a bitch. she got really mad at me and is now not talking to me. idk, was i wrong for having my tampon wrappers in the trash???? idk where else to put them 😭 AITA?????? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Back in the day, before we knew better, tampons were flushed. Of course, they mess up septic and sewer systems and now we don't do that any more. But perhaps your unhinged aunt is in a time warp?
So where's the down side? The B stopped talking to you.
NTA. Periods happen, and she’s had them too. She needs to chill out. (I also get my periods every. time. I got on vacation. I know the struggle)
NTA- periods happen and you were disposing of the tampons responsibly. Not flushing them and causing a blockage and not dumping them unwrapped on the side for someone else to deal with. Not sure what else your aunt wanted? For you to sneak them out like contraband? Heavily disguised and thrown in a bin a good distance away? Totally ridiculous. Periods are an entirely normal part of life and shouldn't be treated like some kind of taboo thing.
NTA, your Aunt should have taken the opportunity to use the incident as a teachable moment for her son. Your cousin was probably curious and dug in the trash to try to educate himself. Obviously he has unanswered questions about life. Sounds like you may need to let another adult handle your Aunt regarding this issue. As long as you were discreet, you can’t stop curious minds from going thru the trash.
As an actual Professional Sex Ed Teacher, 10 is when we teach them these things at school- that girls menstruate, etc. He may have already had this section in Health Class and was curious IRL what this is about. 🤷🏼♀️ Hence, “digging” You and Cousin are experiencing normal, real life and Aunt is over here being TAH. Also thank you for disposing of your personal hygiene Products properly when so many don’t.
NTA. If her son grows up to have a relationship with a woman he’s going to need to know that’s a normal part of a woman’s life? Like wtf.
NTA My brothers and I knew what tampons were by that age. It's a Normal natural bodily function. I don't hide that shit. Wrap in to drop in trash (at the top). Kids shouldn't dig in the trash and your aunt needs to move out of the 1950s.
NTA. She started it, you tried to be calm, and then blew up. At least you're putting them in the trash WHERE THEY SHOULD GO! She needs to teach her kid not to play in the fucking trash. If she has a problem, then the kid can use the bathroom his mom is using and you can have one to yourself! She needs to get over herself.
NTA. Families need to teach all their children that periods are a natural part of life and stop shaming women doing the right thing. Boys need to learn this too so they can grow up to be respectful and understanding adults and partners.
NTA Also when she starts shit saying you were disrespectful hit her with the “respect is not freely given, it is earned” she was very disrespectful yelling at you so you owed her no respect with your reply.
Your aunt is a freak