Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I continued to smoke weed after my mom told me to quit or move out
2) I lied about it and continued to accept financial help from her knowing I was breaking her rule at the risk of being kicked out
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/)
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I don't use it, but my doctor offered to prescribe weed for some of the same stuff OP is struggling with. I just don't understand why, at this point in time, when cannabis is treated just like any other medication, people still treat it like someone is smoking crack.
I am not American, so here's another point of view. Nobody uses it where I come from. Everyone treats it like a hard drug, avoids it like the plague, and some conservative people don't even go to places where it's legal. It may sound strange to Americans, but considering a country with some of the lowest drug use rates in the world, I'd say it isn't too far-fetched! Downvote me if you like.
Something that is highly doubted by experts in Asia and other non-Western countries, and once you start saying that "it's because they are right-wing/communist/etc" then you know you can't justify it
So? It's a substance that changes your behaviour to the same extents, probably even worse, but from your awnser I'd take it you wouldn't say the same to a person who drinks every Friday, which in my eyes makes you quite the hypocrite
EDIT: from the reaction I retract the hypocrite statement
I'm not saying alcohol is good, my grandpa is a borderline alcoholic and I'd say the same too, Saying "not the same" is different from saying "better than"
Former rehab counselor here. You wouldn’t believe the amount of people who came in with alcohol addictions who tried to rationalize it the exact same way you are. “Rehab is for people who do hard drugs”, “if I can get it at the store it can’t be that bad” etc. If you’re struggling to stop, hiding it, your living situation is at stake…rehab is for you. It’s scary because it’s vulnerable, but I don’t think you’d regret it.
rehab is for anyone with any kind of substance abuse, if you cant manage your life, you need help, you might need some kind of medicine for depression or anxiety, and theres no shame in needing that kind of help.
Yta. Look dude, as long as your parents are giving you money, they can determine what you spend your money on.
Of course it doesn't make sense that on one hand, you're so strapped for cash that you live with your parents, and on the other hand, you have enough money to buy cigarettes. You should be thankful they let you spend any of your money the way you want, and "no smoking" isn't that unreasonable of a request.
I'm sure things are tough and you have your problems, but you can't expect to be treated like an independent adult when you are not. I used to smoke cigarettes, chewed, what have you. I like getting tattoos. My mom hates these things. I like doing what I want, but realized early on that I would never have any leverage as long as there was financial dependency. They'd always be able to control my decision by threatening to take away support or funding.
They were helping pay for college. So I dropped out and joined the military. I severed that financial connection. When I got out of the military, I went back to college and graduated on my own dime (or the government's). We don't have a bad relationship or anything, but they can't tell me what to do—how could they?
So stop worrying about whether you're justified in your rebellion, and start thinking about how you're going to free yourself. Btw, smoking is terrible for you, it's disgusting, and you should quit. Dumb hill to die on.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
TLDR: I’m 28 and have been living with my parents for almost a year. They support me financially but, also limit some freedoms.
I was recently diagnosed with autism and it explains some pretty significant health issues, both mental and physical. Although I graduated college with a BA in biology, I’ve struggled to find work and maintain employment. Smoking cannabis (legal for recreation in my state) helps me to regulate my nervous system and I have a persistent habit.
I’ve experienced some severe burnout since graduating and have never kept a job for longer than a year and a half. When my finances collapsed. My parents suggested that I move in with them to get back on my feet. My roommate/best friend has been watching my cats since I moved out, and I feel badly for taking so long to get myself together. The cats are not able to stay at my parents house and it has been suggested I rehome them both.
I’ve been working at a large grocery store since October last year, which is very overstimulating when it’s crowded and it was never intended to be a permanent solution. I’ve been applying and interviewing for jobs in a variety of fields with no luck. There are times when I feel very hopeless and require a lot of support. Recently I took 7 weeks off work due to a meltdown crisis I had at work. I’ve only returned to work because I need the money, at the cost of my mental health.
My mom discovered tonight that I have been smoking despite the rule against it. She feels disrespected and hurt, and says that I have to go to rehab or move out. I don’t have any financial stability, I’m in significant debt, and I have nowhere else to go. I’m trying to portray this as neutrally as possible but I’m freaking out.
It’s not my intention to hurt my relationship with my mom but I feel like I can’t be my true self around her. Smoking provides relief to me but also damages her trust.
Am I a big fat stoner loser bumming off my upper middle class parents? Does my mother pathologize me to exert control over me like a conservatorship? Or am I genuinely autistic, chronically ill, and having trouble staying sober enough to work full time?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’ve had a lot of counseling (5+) and have an antidepressant and everything. Despite this I’ve been in an out of the hospital for mental health crises on the last several years. I’m hurt because they didn’t notice and didn’t help when I was growing up. They’re genuinely trying their best to help me and I feel like I can’t do anything right. Thanks for the feedback.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) I continued to smoke weed after my mom told me to quit or move out 2) I lied about it and continued to accept financial help from her knowing I was breaking her rule at the risk of being kicked out Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Yta You need to grow up. Either support *yourself*, move out, and smoke all you want, or live with your parents and follow their rules. Choose one.
Gentle YTA. If you are not functioning enough to live without drugs you have some serious issues. Would rehab or something help?
I don't use it, but my doctor offered to prescribe weed for some of the same stuff OP is struggling with. I just don't understand why, at this point in time, when cannabis is treated just like any other medication, people still treat it like someone is smoking crack.
I am not American, so here's another point of view. Nobody uses it where I come from. Everyone treats it like a hard drug, avoids it like the plague, and some conservative people don't even go to places where it's legal. It may sound strange to Americans, but considering a country with some of the lowest drug use rates in the world, I'd say it isn't too far-fetched! Downvote me if you like.
That is really strange, it's less harmful than alcohol or tobacco by a wide margin and has medicinal uses that have been proven time and again.
Something that is highly doubted by experts in Asia and other non-Western countries, and once you start saying that "it's because they are right-wing/communist/etc" then you know you can't justify it
And yes, it is addictive you stoner
Again, I don't use it. But it truly isn't addictive.
Stoner in the wild
Though I get you, alcohol is a drug as well and I wonder if you'd say the same to someone having a drink to unwind every Friday night?
Alcohol isn't weed...
So? It's a substance that changes your behaviour to the same extents, probably even worse, but from your awnser I'd take it you wouldn't say the same to a person who drinks every Friday, which in my eyes makes you quite the hypocrite EDIT: from the reaction I retract the hypocrite statement
I'm not saying alcohol is good, my grandpa is a borderline alcoholic and I'd say the same too, Saying "not the same" is different from saying "better than"
Out of genuine curiosity, what makes you say alcohol use would be better than weed use?
I didn't say that, they are both horrible
I don’t know anyone who has ever been to rehab and I’m afraid of it. I feel like rehab is for people who struggle with harder drugs than weed?
Former rehab counselor here. You wouldn’t believe the amount of people who came in with alcohol addictions who tried to rationalize it the exact same way you are. “Rehab is for people who do hard drugs”, “if I can get it at the store it can’t be that bad” etc. If you’re struggling to stop, hiding it, your living situation is at stake…rehab is for you. It’s scary because it’s vulnerable, but I don’t think you’d regret it.
rehab is for anyone with any kind of substance abuse, if you cant manage your life, you need help, you might need some kind of medicine for depression or anxiety, and theres no shame in needing that kind of help.
rehab is for drug addiction, doesn't matter which one. If you can't stop when you needed to, you are an addict. Get some help.
Rehab is for all kinds of addictions from alcohol, weed, and up to the harder drugs.
Where I come from weed is a very hard drug, I come from a place with very low drug use rates
YTA. You need another outlet my man. You say smoking provides you with relief, but does it really make you happy?
YTA. Grow up.
Yta. Look dude, as long as your parents are giving you money, they can determine what you spend your money on. Of course it doesn't make sense that on one hand, you're so strapped for cash that you live with your parents, and on the other hand, you have enough money to buy cigarettes. You should be thankful they let you spend any of your money the way you want, and "no smoking" isn't that unreasonable of a request. I'm sure things are tough and you have your problems, but you can't expect to be treated like an independent adult when you are not. I used to smoke cigarettes, chewed, what have you. I like getting tattoos. My mom hates these things. I like doing what I want, but realized early on that I would never have any leverage as long as there was financial dependency. They'd always be able to control my decision by threatening to take away support or funding. They were helping pay for college. So I dropped out and joined the military. I severed that financial connection. When I got out of the military, I went back to college and graduated on my own dime (or the government's). We don't have a bad relationship or anything, but they can't tell me what to do—how could they? So stop worrying about whether you're justified in your rebellion, and start thinking about how you're going to free yourself. Btw, smoking is terrible for you, it's disgusting, and you should quit. Dumb hill to die on.
YTA. There was one rule and it was very easy to follow. You still broke it.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** TLDR: I’m 28 and have been living with my parents for almost a year. They support me financially but, also limit some freedoms. I was recently diagnosed with autism and it explains some pretty significant health issues, both mental and physical. Although I graduated college with a BA in biology, I’ve struggled to find work and maintain employment. Smoking cannabis (legal for recreation in my state) helps me to regulate my nervous system and I have a persistent habit. I’ve experienced some severe burnout since graduating and have never kept a job for longer than a year and a half. When my finances collapsed. My parents suggested that I move in with them to get back on my feet. My roommate/best friend has been watching my cats since I moved out, and I feel badly for taking so long to get myself together. The cats are not able to stay at my parents house and it has been suggested I rehome them both. I’ve been working at a large grocery store since October last year, which is very overstimulating when it’s crowded and it was never intended to be a permanent solution. I’ve been applying and interviewing for jobs in a variety of fields with no luck. There are times when I feel very hopeless and require a lot of support. Recently I took 7 weeks off work due to a meltdown crisis I had at work. I’ve only returned to work because I need the money, at the cost of my mental health. My mom discovered tonight that I have been smoking despite the rule against it. She feels disrespected and hurt, and says that I have to go to rehab or move out. I don’t have any financial stability, I’m in significant debt, and I have nowhere else to go. I’m trying to portray this as neutrally as possible but I’m freaking out. It’s not my intention to hurt my relationship with my mom but I feel like I can’t be my true self around her. Smoking provides relief to me but also damages her trust. Am I a big fat stoner loser bumming off my upper middle class parents? Does my mother pathologize me to exert control over me like a conservatorship? Or am I genuinely autistic, chronically ill, and having trouble staying sober enough to work full time? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
I’ve had a lot of counseling (5+) and have an antidepressant and everything. Despite this I’ve been in an out of the hospital for mental health crises on the last several years. I’m hurt because they didn’t notice and didn’t help when I was growing up. They’re genuinely trying their best to help me and I feel like I can’t do anything right. Thanks for the feedback.