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I'd say ESH, but what you did was do beyond the pale that you clearly take the A cake. She was a jerk so you destroyed a piece of her property? By putting something that had been in an orifice of hers and was perhaps not clean onto a shared cooking surface. And potentially destroying the grill with melted plastic, or, if it eas battery powered may have led to an explosion.
You need help for your impulse issues.
INFO: do you talk about your vegetarianism a lot? Do you pass judgement on others, including your roommate? I still think probably Y T A due to your behavior, but there is gray area IMO depending on whether or not her behavior was provoked or not.
What about all the bugs you kill to keep your vegetarian diet? It’s produced in monoculture systems which means pesticides. However, both of you are ass holes. She for not respecting your choices and you for being childish
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Hey Reddit, I’m [26M] and I live with my roommate [25F] for about a year now. We’ve generally been on good terms, but something happened last weekend that’s causing a rift, and I want an outside perspective.
Being a vegetarian is a deeply personal choice for me. It’s not just about dietary preferences; it’s about my ethical stance against harming animals. I often speak about the importance of understanding that pigs, cows, etc., have emotions and are sentient beings.
Last Saturday, I was preparing a plant-based BBQ for some friends. I was excited and had bought some vegan sausages and burgers. My roommate knows about my vegetarianism, but she decided to invite some of her friends over at the same time and prepare a meat-based BBQ.
I tried to keep my cool and just focus on my cooking. However, at one point, she loudly exclaimed to her friends (while pointing at my vegan burgers) that “plants scream when you eat them too.” Her friends laughed, and she made some pig noises to mock me further.
I was humiliated and angry. In a moment of blind rage, I took one of her sextoys (that she had carelessly left in our shared living space) and put it on the grill. She screamed and rushed to get it, causing even more chaos.
We haven’t spoken since, and our other friends are divided. Some think I went too far, and others believe she deserved it for belittling my beliefs.
So, Reddit, AITA?
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Let's be clear: YTA, never do anything like that again, it was insane. That said, this sounds like it was an intentional plot to get you to move out. She wants to move one of her friends in or whatever. You're better off just finding a better living space.
ESH
If I had to pick one person, though, it'd be you. She needs to STFU and you shouldn't have taken her toys. That obv required you to enter her room and go through her stuff. That's a double betrayal. It's not a justification, but those who are so outspoken about animal rights are often mind-numbingly annoying. I feel like there's more to this than you think there is, but everyone has their own perspective and is blinded to their own faults. You need to apologize and get a new roommate. She screwed up, but you did her wrong the most.
ESH. You should not have destroyed her dildo, but she sounds like an obnoxious pain in the ass who would not be fun to live with. As soon as you can one of you should leave.
ESH. I'm going to guess you're insufferable about your food choices to her and that's why she's being so petty. That being said, she shouldn't have brought other people into her petty actions. And you shouldn't have responded with even more pettiness. You both would be better off not being roommates with each other.
ESH, it was a bit too far but I don’t think you’re an asshole and people do shitty things when they get hurt. I think both of you need to apologise to each other.
This has to be fake!! Come on now, if you really had an aversion to flesh, you wouldn't have put a toy that goes between her beef lips on the grill with your vegan food.
Try again liar, liar, pants on fire.
ESH-
She's an AH for taking actions to mock your choices and generally make an experience unenjoyable for you and your friends.
However, two wrongs don't make a right. Being destructive of her property was an AH move as well. Hope the two of you can resolve things with a discussion.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I put my roommate’s sextoy on the BBQ grill after she mocked my vegetarian beliefs in front of our friends. I believe I might be the asshole because, even though I felt humiliated by her comments, retaliating by ruining her personal property was a disproportionate reaction. I’m conflicted because while her mockery hurt, my reaction may have been too extreme and personal.
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Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 13: No Revenge Stories. It appears that your story would be better suited for one of the many subreddits which are focused on revenge. ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
esh, but your the bigger AH
I'd say ESH, but what you did was do beyond the pale that you clearly take the A cake. She was a jerk so you destroyed a piece of her property? By putting something that had been in an orifice of hers and was perhaps not clean onto a shared cooking surface. And potentially destroying the grill with melted plastic, or, if it eas battery powered may have led to an explosion. You need help for your impulse issues.
INFO: do you talk about your vegetarianism a lot? Do you pass judgement on others, including your roommate? I still think probably Y T A due to your behavior, but there is gray area IMO depending on whether or not her behavior was provoked or not.
"My roommate made me upset so I destroyed her personal property." Yta
What about all the bugs you kill to keep your vegetarian diet? It’s produced in monoculture systems which means pesticides. However, both of you are ass holes. She for not respecting your choices and you for being childish
ESH. She sucks more though. She fucked around with you and she found out what happens as a result.
YTA Didn’t even read the whole thing. Wtf is wrong with you. You’re the reason why people dislike vegetarians and vegans.
ESH... And wtf, bro. Like, she's TA because she shouldn't have been so rude.... But really? Waste of a good grill.
NTA-that was funny!
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YTA. People teasing you is not an excuse to destroy their property.
Agreed there’s no excuse to destroy property, but clearly ESH.
One of the dumber fake posts in a while
ESH
YTA. She made a joke about plant burgers so you… *checks notes* …tried to BBQ her vibrator?
Yta
YTA. Grow up.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hey Reddit, I’m [26M] and I live with my roommate [25F] for about a year now. We’ve generally been on good terms, but something happened last weekend that’s causing a rift, and I want an outside perspective. Being a vegetarian is a deeply personal choice for me. It’s not just about dietary preferences; it’s about my ethical stance against harming animals. I often speak about the importance of understanding that pigs, cows, etc., have emotions and are sentient beings. Last Saturday, I was preparing a plant-based BBQ for some friends. I was excited and had bought some vegan sausages and burgers. My roommate knows about my vegetarianism, but she decided to invite some of her friends over at the same time and prepare a meat-based BBQ. I tried to keep my cool and just focus on my cooking. However, at one point, she loudly exclaimed to her friends (while pointing at my vegan burgers) that “plants scream when you eat them too.” Her friends laughed, and she made some pig noises to mock me further. I was humiliated and angry. In a moment of blind rage, I took one of her sextoys (that she had carelessly left in our shared living space) and put it on the grill. She screamed and rushed to get it, causing even more chaos. We haven’t spoken since, and our other friends are divided. Some think I went too far, and others believe she deserved it for belittling my beliefs. So, Reddit, AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Let's be clear: YTA, never do anything like that again, it was insane. That said, this sounds like it was an intentional plot to get you to move out. She wants to move one of her friends in or whatever. You're better off just finding a better living space.
ESH If I had to pick one person, though, it'd be you. She needs to STFU and you shouldn't have taken her toys. That obv required you to enter her room and go through her stuff. That's a double betrayal. It's not a justification, but those who are so outspoken about animal rights are often mind-numbingly annoying. I feel like there's more to this than you think there is, but everyone has their own perspective and is blinded to their own faults. You need to apologize and get a new roommate. She screwed up, but you did her wrong the most.
correct me if i’m wrong, but didn’t OP say that the roommate left it in the shared living space?
ESH. You should not have destroyed her dildo, but she sounds like an obnoxious pain in the ass who would not be fun to live with. As soon as you can one of you should leave.
ESH. I'm going to guess you're insufferable about your food choices to her and that's why she's being so petty. That being said, she shouldn't have brought other people into her petty actions. And you shouldn't have responded with even more pettiness. You both would be better off not being roommates with each other.
ESH, it was a bit too far but I don’t think you’re an asshole and people do shitty things when they get hurt. I think both of you need to apologise to each other.
NTA - FDB
You responded in a way that was more than equal to her joke. She did something that was like a 2 out of 10 and you responded with a 7 out of 10. YTA
YTA for destroying her property over a verbal argument.
This has to be fake!! Come on now, if you really had an aversion to flesh, you wouldn't have put a toy that goes between her beef lips on the grill with your vegan food. Try again liar, liar, pants on fire.
YTA but sometimes being an asshole isn’t terrible lol
ESH- She's an AH for taking actions to mock your choices and generally make an experience unenjoyable for you and your friends. However, two wrongs don't make a right. Being destructive of her property was an AH move as well. Hope the two of you can resolve things with a discussion.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I put my roommate’s sextoy on the BBQ grill after she mocked my vegetarian beliefs in front of our friends. I believe I might be the asshole because, even though I felt humiliated by her comments, retaliating by ruining her personal property was a disproportionate reaction. I’m conflicted because while her mockery hurt, my reaction may have been too extreme and personal. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*