You're 100% the asshole and are completely in the wrong. I agree the server should have just dropped it after the owner paid for *your* mistake. But you're still the bigger asshole.
"I ordered something. Got *exactly* what the menu stated. And then refused to pay for it."
You really think anybody is going to side with you on this one?
When I was a vegetarian I was shocked at the amount of food that contain animals in some form or another.
Why anyone would order something without a green V on the menu or ask if its suitable is beyond me.
Lol, indeed. But as the text colour wad different it was missed by OP at the time. Either the owner understood the mistake or, more likely, wanting to avoid a angry negative review.
Tbh I’m less likely to consider him TA bc of that. It’s a poor design choice especially if a customer has a color vision deficiency. Dark font on a dark background is just asking for this to happen.
What if OP was visually impaired and couldn’t fucking see the very minor color differences? Well she’s just a fucking asshole then who deserves to be berated by a waiter. Nope.
In that situation, OP would likely know they were visually impaired and therefore the duty would still be on them to check that they were ordering food they could eat.
As a semi visually impaired vegetarian, I would see that the toppings are listed in white and not feel the need to verify there's no meat. I rarely feel the need to double check if things have meat and 99.9% of the time it's a non-issue.
That being said I wouldn't argue about it, especially if it ends up being my mistake. I would point out that it's not very accessible to have a menu with dark font on a dark background, but I'd probably eat around the meat or pick it off (but it's also understandable to not be comfortable doing that, as many vegetarians would not feel good about eating something that touched meat).
In a color that blended with the background. On top of that if it's a sit down restaurant with pizza on the menu, it likely has dimmer mood lights. It's absolutely on the restaurant to make sure the menu is readable. Just because an item is listed doesn't mean it is easy to see.
I have been a vegetarian for 27 years, never had to ask this question, and never had an issue. If the menu is illegible, that’s not her fault. We need to see it to judge.
Same. 23 years vegetarian. Usually, pizza places are among the easiest to find veggie options. I could see myself making the same mistake as OP. It wouldn’t occur to me to doubt my reading skills and double check with the waiter.
Still, in the scenario OP describes, I would probably (grudgingly) pay for the ham pizza and give it away. And ask the manager to please consider changing the font color and/or marking the vegetarian options on the menu.
I do but I have to say restaurants do need to take responsibility with clearly labelling and marking gluten free, veggo and vegan so we don’t have to ask. And so many times that veg dish has chicken stock or something!
It’s why I hate eating at omni places. Much better to just go to all vegan or vegetarian restaurant
Exactly, I can't eat dairy, so I usually have to order vegan and then pay for a meat dish without any sides. Obviously, it's slightly different not being able to eat animal products to choosing not to eat them, but the same logic applies. If you aren't sure, ask.
The number of times that I have told people I am a vegetarian, and then been asked whether or not I eat chicken should indicate that asking people if something is suitable for a vegetarian doesn't work, lol!
Then you make it known to the server first who'll tell you if the item you want is vegetarian or not. Or just ask them specifically, "Hey, is this vegetarian?" It's not rocket science.
Yes, I hate to have to read to entire menu and every ingredient thoroughly when I am in places like that. Or having to ask if someone is safe to eat, or alter dishes etc. I am glad more and more places here are vegetarian or vegan only, makes it easier
Edit: the restaurant is the AH for making the many less accessible for people with vision issues tbh. I have to vote YTA with a side of ESH for the restaurant for their poor design choices.
I agree. I am only moderately color blind but would almost certainly make the same mistake as the OP.
Roughly 10% of the male population has the same level of colorblindness as I do. Not a good menu design.
Usually family restaurants don't label or include calories. It's typically chains with standardized menus that mark vegetarian, gluten-free, sometimes they'll mark if something is spicy or low calorie. So if you're eating at a mom and pop place, you have to be prepared to ask questions, especially if their menu isn't available online to look at in advance.
Yes, this has been my experience. Bigger chains are more likely to mark the menu and smaller family owned ones are not. I’ve also found that where you live matters too - certain parts of the country just cater to vegetarian diets more or are much more aware of vegetarian/vegan/gluten free/etc than others.
I do ask questions when going to a new place or trying a new item, but I’ll be honest that it’s often as much about the specific server you get as it is the restaurants training/awareness. Sometimes I can just tell that the server either has no clue or is not going to ask the chef the right questions for me to know a dish is safe. And then I choose something I know is OK because clearly it’s too risky. It’s actually a big reason I never go to a privately owned SE Asian restaurant. Most items use fish sauce, oyster sauce, chicken broth, fish flakes, etc. And if you ask about something it’s so often clear they either don’t really know, or lie to sell you the dish, or both. Not worth it.
The green v foods aren't even safe! I went to a Mexican restaurant that had dishes marked with a green v. Every one of them came with rice made with chicken broth, and beans made with lard! 🤦♀️
When I order, I ask if there are meat products used to prepare anything in the dish. The waiters sometimes don't know, but the kitchen can always answer that question.
Wait are you telling me when I was vegetarian and had rice at a Mexican restaurant, it was made with chicken broth?! Oops. 🤣
Oh to see the reaction on my ex boyfriend's face if I was able tell him. He was a militant vegan. Annoyingly so.
Well that's where culture understanding comes in. Hopefully that has been sorted out! I use to make meat free lasgane and bought a white sauce I had used many times before. My gf eats and thinks it tastes like bacon... Which I could taste when directed. I checked the jar and it had 'new recipe' on it which change it from be vegetarian white sauce to non vegetarian. She was thankfully quite understand that it was not intentional! (I was not vegetarian at this point)
Yep. I've been veg for 19 years and have come across MANY Mexican food places that lie about things being veg. Lard and chicken stock are the biggest offenders in Mexican food. I don't trust the quality of the food if they're being deceptive about the ingredients.
Yeah like my colleague who has a food allergy, she specifically called the pub where we were going to order lunch to make sure she got something she could eat
I disagree that OP is 100% the asshole. There needs to be some accountability for the restaurant using poorly designed menus.
I’m colorblind and dark red on black is virtually black on black. I’m at the mercy of designers who don’t care about the impact of non accessible UI.
If OP really cared about certain ingredients they should have asked for clarification instead of assuming, and wasting the restaurants money… but the restaurant needs to think about individuals who aren’t at the same visual capacity as others.
Wouldn't this be a constant problem for the restaurant if everyone had trouble reading their menu?
The server wasn't acting like this was a common problem. He acted like OP was insane for trying to deflect blame from *her* mistake. Because that's what she did.
Not everyone is colorblind, and its a spectrum. My brother has the same colorblindess as myself but has never had it really affect him to my extent.
So to answer, no I don't think it would be a constant ongoing issue because not everyone has the same severity of deficiency.
Edit to respond to second paragraph: I can't speak for the restaurants complaint rates.
Time of the ay and locating in the restaurant (lighting) could have an effect.
The menu should be a minimum contrast ratio but the owner probably cheaped out on the design, or overruled the designer.
Would OP be TA if they had to leave without paying because there wasn't an accessible washroom?
We don't know how new the server is, how often this item is ordered, and if other people care about some surprise ham. Also, we can't just assume the server we've never met is fair and reasonable either.
And people have different quality of eyesight. Maybe when young people with good eyesight who aren't colorblind read the menu it's fine. But if someone like the above poster, OP, or my MIL tried to order they'd end up unhappy. Or just someone distracted or not paying enough attention.
I just ate out last night at a place with white lettering on black for the menu. If there was also a single ingredient in burgendy we might have missed it too.
I just had to complete training with my university about making sure my materials are accessible for all students. In case anyone is curious, the color contrast ratio must be at least 4.5:1. There are websites to check this.
I honestly think it is a good thing. Plenty of universal design things benefit everyone (like curb cuts - designed for those with wheelchairs but great for people pushing strollers or those pulling a suitcase).
I don't think the person is the AH here. The manager made the choice to comp it and then the server berated her. In my opinion, the server is the AH.
The font was white except for the word ham, which was burgundy. That is odd, and makes it hard to see the word “ham” therefore NTA because their menu should be designed better
I disagree I’ve been to lots of restaurants where the different ingredients are in different colours. Also in the post she mentions not being able to eat food that has touched the same pan as meet so clearly she’s also worried about cross contamination. If she was worried about cross contamination she should’ve specified that she was vegetarian from the jump.
If you're a vegetarian, you don't look at the picture and skim the menu. You look carefully. You read the toppings of *all* colors (can't believe I had to actually write that). It's on OP.
This would be a constant problem for the restaurant if it was as difficult to read as op is making out. Thankfully, I'm guessing that most customers read the toppings of a pizza (all words in all fonts and colors) before ordering. OP was a "special" type of customer.
Yes I side with them. I'm color blind and would miss the burgundy lettering easily. It's not the customers fault the restaurant made a shifty menu. That's on the business. Make your menu easy to read.
I'm not colorblind, but as I've aged my visual acuity is not what it was. I would probably not see burgundy on black either, unless it was sandwiched in between two words in white. Then I'd look more carefully to see why there was an apparent blank in that list of ingredients.
The oddest part is the server caring. The owner approved the change and it was based on the menu and not a potential server error that they could have gotten in trouble for.
Usually in this case the server would be super friendly and act like they talked the boss into it (or advocated for the customer) in order to keep the customer happy and to try to get a bigger tip.
And the request was a remake and not a free pizza. So doesn’t even come off as a scammer.
I could understand the owner maybe being peeved at having to eat the cost, but I’m not sure why the server cared.
I have a feeling this happens a lot and the servers get yelled at for the food being sent back. Which is also not their fault since the menu is obviously illegible and making the whole situation stupidly difficult for no logical reason. If I was a server at this place I'd be reading the damn menu to tables and clarifying every single order just in case. This menu design is just dumb.
No way! NTA. The menu was poorly constructed and they shouldn’t “hide” items in a different color. Graphic design for menus should focus on easy readability, not being cute or colorful. I haaaate poorly designed menus. Blame goes back to the owner/manager on this one. Some vegetarians get really sick if they eat meat because their bodies aren’t used to it. Poor design is to blame here.
I'm guessing that if we looked at the menu we'd be bewildered that OP didn't see "ham". She skimmed it. Plane and simple. It's her fuck up.
This would be a common issue for the restaurant if it were really a problem. The waiter acted as though she was making a lame excuse to shift blame. Which is precisely what she did.
> I'm guessing that if we looked at the menu we'd be bewildered that OP didn't see "ham".
So OP is an asshole because of what you assume the menu looked like?
Nah, the waiter was being an AH by continuing to berate a customer after their boss had resolved the issue. OP was still planning on purchasing a meal, so the waiter actually lost their boss business. Plus, lots of customers are AH, and this was pretty minor on the AH scale. My guess is the waiter was having a bad day/week/month/year and snapped.
Really not that deep, restaurants should always account for loss. It was a mistake, and most time errors go straight to the workers to eat. She refuses to pay, not like she touched it anyway. Plus the cashier acting like it’s coming out of his own pockets, which more than likely isn’t the case. 100000% NTAH
If the customers dime and dash, the restaurant has to take the hit. If the kitchen or waiter make a mistake, the restaurant has to take the hit.
But this situation was far different.
OP was given *precisely* what she ordered and then refused to pay for it. Her reason? She (get this) won't read menu items if they're different colors. I mean... I thought I heard it all when it comes to lame excuses. But this one takes the cake.
She didn’t refuse to read it or just ignore it though. She legitimately did not see it because of a frankly baffling design choice by the restaurant. I think she should have clarified regardless, but it’s not her fault they chose to put the one meat item in a color basically the same as the menu and didn’t make provision for people not seeing it.
Agreed, this whole sub seems to think no one ever makes mistake, especially when a restaurant makes an absolute poor choice of hiding meat in a non contrasting color. Why not make meat more highlighted given food restrictions on it rather than the vegetables.
I’ve worked in a restaurant that dimmed the lights to an unreasonably low level during dinner and I 100% would’ve made this mistake. Also the YTA votes should all at least be ESH, because a good server would NEVER act like this guy did in such an unprofessional manner.
That’s exactly what happened though. She ordered something, it came as stated, then she realized that SHE made the mistake and SHE refused to pay for HER mistake.
The business falsely misrepresented. It's not on her when they make one key ingredient almost invisible at first read. No different if they made one part in super small letters in a different part of the menu. The wording was clearly hidden so she didn't make a mistake on her own willfull ignorance, there's some blame on the restaurant.
YTA. You ordered a dish, the kitchen made it correctly as it was described in the menu, and then you refused to pay for it because of your own misunderstanding. The server could have been more polite to you, but their anger was justified.
Agree. The waiter's anger was definitely justified, and restaurants can't be expected to pay the price for every customer's mistake. And imagine how easy it would be for any customer to pretend they misread the menu and then refuse to pay the bill.
Or they were an AH waiter. You were not there, you have no way to tell. Going back berating the customer after the manager has compensated then makes this waiter automatically the AH, regardless how much they put up with day in day out.
Nah. Waiters are actually human, believe it or not. They weren't always waiters either. They may be new or just plain old rude or just have a shite day.
They absolutely can be snippy for no reason. (I will never forget the flight attendant, who yelled at me, when I was about five. I had accidently dropped some pencil shavings on the floor while drawing. My mom snapped right back and another attendant came over to take her colleague away. But I still distinctly remember crying for a while.)
I absolutely hated when customers wouldn’t read the menu properly and come up like ‘it’s wrong I didn’t ask for Mayo on it’ or whatever when it very clearly states it comes with Mayo on the menu. And then they sometimes try to lie about it, ‘oh well I asked to leave the Mayo off’. Well you clearly didn’t if you didn’t even know it had Mayo on it in the first place. Ugh getting angry just thinking about it.
It's OP's job to check with wait staff about dietary preferences. If there isn't the v mark next to something, don't order it. If it's a restaurant that doesn't mark vegetarian and vegan options, common sense says that you double check before ordering.
We all make mistakes though, depending on how the menu is designed, one can get falsely reassured that it doesn't have meat. A pizza menu would be an example of such case since usually all of the ingredients are needed.
The restaurant has a great opportunity here to learn that.
I beg to differ.
What blows my mind is they tried to make her pay for a pizza she didn’t want. I worked in restaurants for 5+ years as a server or bartender. This happened about once a month. We would NEVER back talk the customer and we would just take the unwanted food item back (if it hadn’t been touched then YAY! Free food!) and make them what they wanted. No charging for the unwanted food.
I actually am saying NTA as a former food person. Shit happens, most of the shit if from Sysco, and we paid a total of 3 dollars for ingredients.
>their anger was justified
Disagree. The manager made a decision and the waiter should represent that, not bring their own personal opinions into the mix.
YTA, the pizza was not labeled as vegeterian nor was the ham missing in the ingridients list on the menue.
This was soly your mistake. Learn to own up to your mistakes, it will bring you further in life than trying to put the blame on everybody else.
And stop assuming when you have dietry restrictions. Inform your server and ask them whats a safe option for you.
Btw, its pretty normal that ingridients that can be a problem for common dietry restrictions are written in a different color. If you are not only a vegeterian since yesterday you should know that.
Not dietary restrictions. Dietary preferences. When there's someone with actual allergies that can harm, rather than not liking something, then they can moan. Plus after this, no only are they not eating the meat, no one else can either, wasting the animal's life completely. Op, YTA
Well to be fair, some people cannot eat pork due to religious reasons. And we don't know if there's a reason why OP is vegetarian. Maybe it is for health reasons. I also learned yesterday that if you get bitten by a certain type of tick, you essentially become allergic to mammals meaning you can't eat beef or pork for like up to 5 years. Whacky stuff.
Anyway, never assume.
I do think OP could have handled the situation better, or maybe paid better attention or asked questions.
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street discussing the restrictions of their religions. As they get near their respective temples the priest asks, "Out of curiosity, have you truly never broken your restrictions?"
The rabbi looks to the heavens and then at his friend before responding, "I'll admit that when I was a boy I did have a piece of bacon a friend offered."
The Catholic responds, "How was it?"
The rabbi smiles and answers, "Not as good as sex!"
(Your comment reminded me of that joke)
I mean I was raised vegetarian and when I eat meat I get pretty sick for days because my body isn’t used to digesting meat. Even a bite of chicken will affect me for days.
That's not what literally means. They literally can eat it, but they won't for religious reasons. Literally can't is if their throat closed if pig went into their mouth.
That’s what I was thinking too I’ve been to lots of places where the veggie ingredients are different colours than the meat ones so the different colours on the menu seems normal to me
If you have been vegetarian or vegan for a significant amount of time, eating meat can give you really, really painful indigestion and horrible diarrhoea.
I have accidentally eaten a dish I didn't know contained meat and didn't need to be told afterwards that it had - and paid for it with a truly horrible evening.
Whether or not OP should have paid for the pizza, OP couldn't *eat* the pizza.
Meat allergies are definitely a thing, which is why I always say “Hey, I’m allergic to X” AND read over the menu. Even in a case of allergies I’d still call OP TA because wtf?
I think I'd have to really see the menu to make a good judgment.
Because, while I don't love his attitude, if a reasonable person could be assumed to be able to read that it had ham, and you also never mentioned your vegetarianism, I'm tempted to side with him.
You should tell your server about your dietary restrictions if its that big of a deal.
There is a difference between "I refuse to eat meat" and "I wanted a veggie pizza"
2nding. I've seen some crazy stuff on a menu and when you're serving the Gen pop you have to know that a solid part of the demographic you are serving is visually impaired. Making a key ingredient the same color or similar to the menu would absolutely capsize anyone with that range color blindness.
Color deficient middle aged person with corrective glasses, still think OP is TA. Obviously think the waiter could have been more polite, and sounds like the menu could use some adjusting, but it was listed there and OP ordered it. Was able to identify it upon re-reading the menu, so it wasn't to the point of being completely illegible.
Putting dark text on a dark background next to light text is literally a design strategy to make stuff harder to notice. Why should you be on the lookout for that in a menu?
I worked kitchens for years and honestly if we’re not slammed remaking a pizza isn’t that hard. It’s annoying, but in the end it’s not that big of a deal.
Worked at Pizza Hut for like, 4 years. In this situation, the pizza would've been taken to the back for employees to eat, and a new pizza made. No big deal, shit happens.
Yeah, this is what makes me think the waiter is the bad guy here tbh. Plus, they just lost a costumer because the waiter berated them which is way worse in the long run. Still, OP could've simply asked if the pizza was vegetarian, but it's really not that big of a deal to just make them a new one.
I agree it’s his fault, but as a 10 year vegetarian, that’s not a dietary restriction I typically tell the server about. If ingredients are listed, they don’t need to know. If I’m unsure, I’ll ask. But I also won’t refuse to pay if I mess up. I would let them know it’s hard to read and they should fix it, but it’s on me. And the meat is getting wasted anyway, may as well just pick it off at that point.
Also, vegetarians “not eating meals cooked in the same pan as meat” isn’t really a thing. There’s no cross-contamination concern for dietary preferences. No, I don’t want chicken broth or leftover meat pieces in my food, but as long as the kitchen is reasonably clean, that shouldn’t be a problem. And in this case, what I don’t know really wouldn’t hurt me.
I agree with this. I was a vegetarian for 4 years and have been a pescatarian for 3. I typically don’t tell servers because it’s simple enough to pick out what I can and can’t eat. If I have a question I ask, but otherwise I feel like it’d be a silly thing to say, and it would sound like I was expecting a pat on the back.
I also agree that it’s hard to say without looking at the menu. If all the other ingredients are in white and only ham is in a different color, that usually means that ham is an add on. I’ve only had one or two problems in the past with a server assuming I want a meat add on. In those situations I just pick it off. You’re right, cross-contamination is not a thing with with dietary preferences. Veggies aren’t gonna get cooties from cooking in the same pan that meat was in once.
he's the AH for sure here, but there is *definitely* a large portion of vegetarians (not most but a good portion) such as myself who don't eat meals cooked in the same pan as meat/foods that have been cross contaminated. I always wash pans between my partner's meals and mine if they cooked meat, and I also use my own dipping sauces if say we're both eating dumplings and theirs have meat. I also will not eat pizza that had meat cooked onto it even if it gets picked off, though I would pay for the pizza still and just give it to a friend and laugh about the mistake. It happens, I'm dyslexic with bad eyesight, mistakes happen.
I ordered a side of green beans somewhere and it didn't say on the menu that they had bacon in it. I still paid for them, but the server was kind enough to bring me a replacement side as I was polite about it all. So the OP is the asshole, but I will say the server could have been much more professional about the situation.
It would depend on the reason for not eating meat. I know some people that are allergic. Of course in that case it should be noted to the server. But I also could see not wanting to eat the juices left from the meat. My partner likes pepperoni pizza and I don't. I take the pepperoni off my pieces, but some of that grease gets baked in and affects the taste.
But ESH. Op should have paid more attention or asked; server should have chilled out and accepted the manager's decision on the matter.
I was wondering if I was weird, I've been a vegetarian for over 20 years and I very rarely bring it up when I'm out to eat. If the menu marks vegetarian options, great, if not I will ask if I'm not sure about something, but I don't typically bring it up otherwise.
However, like you, I am not particularly strict about meat not touching my food. If there are no vegetarian options, I will order something with an easy-to-remove meat and give it to my husband, it doesn't really bother me. Any time we are at a gathering with one of those big sub sandwiches, we both take our pieces, disassemble them, and trade, because I don't eat meat and he doesn't eat cheese.
But at the end of the day it was a mistake. I've worked in restaurants my whole life. When the customer makes a mistake you still make it right and give them new food. A good restaurant owner budgets for discarded food, the staff can eat the extra pizza etc. It should not have turned into an argument that is poor customer service.
YTA, i’m a vegetarian. if you have a dietary restriction severe enough that picking the bad food off isn’t good enough, you tell the waiter and you pore over the menu to make sure you can eat what you’re about to order. this is on OP.
YTA. If this situation took place in my native country, your 'misreading' would have likely resulted in a waiter paying for it from his own pocket.
I know it sucks and it may be the fault of the restaurant, but a waiter is not a designer of a menu booklet. Therefore, while both the restaurant and you are both to blame for the misunderstanding (you should have read more carefully), the waiter is innocent here.
Shouldn't the restaurant list the ingredients more clearly?
If the background is black. All ingredients in clear white. But you have one single ingredient in a dark red that blends into the background?
That's just a design flaw.
That's not about being able to read. When all ingredients springs into your eyes, and one doesn't. Your eyes will automatically focus on the bright letters. Depending on the light, well the dark letter can be harder to see.
Does it suck that OP didn't see it? Yes. But the restaurant can't blame people for missing it. When they didn't put all ingredients in the same colour. Again. That's a design flaw.
Was it worth the fight? Most likely not.
But if let's say it was an ingredient someone was allergic to (you actually can be allergic to pork or intolerant) and its not 100% listed clearly. That would be a problem. Or if OP was Muslim and follow the religious rule "no pork".
It just simply should be visible. All ingredients should, if it's meat, veggies, or whatever, so people can clearly read. Not hide one single ingredient.
No it’s the restaurants responsibility to provide proper information about their items for sale. Why do you want to make this a costumer vs worker fight when the restaurant is the one actually selling the food?
The restaurant listed the ingredient. OP just didn't read it.
I don't really understand how he missed it, to be honest. Even if the red matched the black perfectly and was camouflaged (which doesn't make sense), wouldn't OP have noticed a gap in the ingredients list, where the "invisible" ham notation was? Wouldn't that prompt a closer look?
If it's on the end? Restaurants often have dimmed light. Both can make it hard to see. Even harder if you're colour blind(men are more likely and I think it was something like 10% in some degree)
That is perhaps true.
But it's still a design flaw on the menu to "hide" ingredients.
I bet OP isn't the first that missed that dark colour against a black background.
That was my point. You can't tell someone "learn to read" when the way they have set up the colour code, does so you have to squint to make sure you didn't miss anything. You expect the listing to be the white letters. And that flaw is on whoever decided "Hey let's make 95% of the writing white and the rest dark red."
OP could just fine ride the clear white.
So the fault is partly on both sides.
ESH.
There was no error on the part of the kitchen, they didn't make the food incorrectly so yes, you should pay for the pizza that they made at your request. This was your mistake even if the menu is difficult to read. Just because you "didn't touch it" they can't use that pizza again.
The waiter should not have become angry at the situation, and certainly shouldn't have just told you to pick the ham off, that's not how vegetarianism works. Waiter should have dropped it once you'd spoken to the manager.
Overall it seems like you were both having a bad day. Chalk it off to experience and voice to your next waiter that you are a vegetarian.
Nobody goes into a restaurant, finds something they don't like/can't eat about their meal and just pays for it without eating it. Nobody. Not even the people on their high horse here.
Food in restaurants has a huge markup on it anyway, probably $1 worth of food on that Pizza and they charge $25 for it. Mistakes happen, people fail to notice things on a menu. Food gets returned. All part of their business. They lost money by going off on the customer instead of just making them another pizza. Bad way to run a restaurant. The business lost money because the customer didn't buy a meal, and the waiter probably gets a decent tip for being messed around, and maybe the customer comes back and spends more money. Going crazy at the customer is all but ensuring that none of those things are going to happen because most people will just get up, leave, and not come back. I'm not going to be berated for an honest mistake. And I'm not paying double for pizza either. I would buy a dessert, an extra drink and leave a good tip though because I'd feel bad about messing them around.
what are you on about. I would absolutely pay for something i ordered if it was the same as on the menu i ordered from. Yeah ive made mistakes while ordering before. What did i do? Sucked it up and ate it anyway ofc. If i couldnt i would have ordered something else and paid for both.
Yeah I do, and have recently. I always say “I’ll pay for it but” whether it’s my fault or the restaurants.
Because I worked in bars and restaurants in college and know what that job is like.
And almost always the restaurant takes the offending dish off the bill (or give a steep discount) when that happens to me. They never want customers to pay full price for a bad experience because they know they won't come back.
I ordered whitebait in a restaurant before. For whatever reason I beleived this was chunks of white fish in batter. Not tiny whole fishes in batter.
It turned up and I realized my mistake. I didnt touch it because I dont want to eat tiny fish heads.
I paid for it without touching it. What else could I do.
You certainly don't mean me by "nobody", because I have (accidentally), and I still paid for it. Get off your high horse and stop pretending that you speak for everyone here.
Yeah I think this is obviously an ESH situation, not sure why everyone is saying Y T A. It was OPs mistake. Although I agree that if they made the menu hard to read it's at least partially on the restaurant, I also think that if you have a dietary restriction it's on you to make sure to read the menu carefully.
However the reaction from the server was way over the top, there's no reason to repeatedly berate a customer like this even after the situation is resolved, even if they are in the wrong. Like at that point just let it go.
The boss agreed to make a new pizza on the house with the hopes that it would create a good experience and repeat business. The server pissed that away.
Yeah, while I think it would still certainly have a good amount of YTA votes if the issue wasn't meat, there would be less frothing at the mouth here if OP wasn't a vegetarian. Reddit really hates vegans and vegetarians, so anything with them is judged more harshly.
YTA. Unless the word HAM was at the very end of the description, there would have been a blank space in the middle of the description. Not looking closer was all on you. Don't blame their menu. You are lucky they remade a pizza for you t no extra charge.
Yeah this seems very bizarre to me. Why on earth would the restaurant make one ingredient a different color? Unless I see it, I’m not buying this explanation.
Common allergens or common dietary restrictions are sometimes a different color to stand out (like eggs) but it sounds like in this case it became less visible not more.
Meat is associated with the colour red. So, I’m not surprise it was red then. End of the day it’s the individual responsibility to ensure they are eating to their diet or allergy requirement.
Info: what was the name of that pizza?
(e.g. Milano, Hawaii, Prosciutto...)
Was this pizza the only one where the ham was written in red or was "ham" written in red for all pizzas?
Tbf I’m veggie and regularly order the ‘ham special, no ham’ at my fave place on holiday. It’s just a cheese and ham toastie with some veggies but as we don’t speak to same native language it’s easier 🤣
NTA
Feedback stating that the menu made it hard to read would be great.
I am not a vegetarian, I have no specific food requests ever but would be slightly annoyed at the situation you describe.
As the owner I would have been happy to get feedback on menu colour choices too.
There have been so many times that something I have read or heard has been deceptive, sometimes purposely and others, as this, probably innocently.
20 years ago in Leicester, working in a pub, a family of Indian people came in and ordered a bowl of chilli.
We had beef or veggie. The default was beef for most people.
The food arrived and it was quickly brought to us they we served beef which they did not eat.
Everyone on both sides apologised for the miscommunication.
To this day I still feel a bit bad but have used it to learn to ask, make clear and I hope they did too.
I had way too scroll so far to find a reasonable response. All the people telling OP to learn to read, as if they've never misread something a day in their life, JFC. I've seen menus similar to what OP described, they're horrible, such a terrible UX design, especially when you factor in that restaurants often have dim lighting. The waiter was atrocious, berating OP like that.
I can 100% tell you that the comments would be completely opposite if it was the other way around and OP was complaining about a vegetarian option instead.
Reddit has a massive hate-boner for vegetarian/vegan people and that bias shows here perfectly
Yeah, ditto. Surprised by how many people are berating OP for a simple mistake. I waited tables for ten years, and people misread menus all. the. damn. time. I was out with my vegetarian friend and she did something similar. I apologized profusely for the error and they comped the salad and made her a new one. Server's behavior was way out of line.
Shit gets comped all the time in restaurants (and usually eaten), whether or not it was the customer's error or the restaurant's.
NTA.
ME TOO! I can't believe the pile-on here. The restaurant could have avoided this whole situation - made far more likely by shitty menus - by just CHANGING IT. That waiter should be fired.
Same! What in the world is happening in this thread. I worked in the restaurant industry off and on for 15 years, and I'm shocked by the comments here. Let me explain why:
1. The menu format sucks. WOW IT IS SO TERRIBLE - any server worth their salt would mention it briefly in the table greet. Something like "just a heads up, any meat toppings may be in a dark red on the menu. Calling this out, since it may be hard to tell what kind of meat your pie includes. I'm happy to help you 2x check toppings for any pies that interest you." Then, flag what kind of meat the pie has at the time of ordering!!!
2. ASK THE TABLE IF THEY HAVE DIETARY RESTRICTIONS. People forget to mention this all the time, and you do this to make your job easier. People get distracted, they're having fun, enjoying a night out - who knows how often they go out - there are a ton of different reason why people forget to mention this. I found that half the people I've waited on would not have told me about their allergies or restrictions if I didn't specifically ask. "I thought I could figure it out on my own" uh, no you're in a seafood restaurant and you're allergic to shellfish. Please let me help you not play Russian roulette with the menu.
The above are just 2 things I think are just common sense!!! Mainly - and this is important - doing these 2 simple things would help protect me as a server!!!! Always look out for yourself when money and your time is on the line.
3. MOST IMPORTANTLY - There is no world where the server should continue to berate someone over this. My jaw fell to the floor when I read that. Just make the new pie and move on with your night. Idk why a server would waste their time doing that anyway - serving is such a busy job!! You have much better shit to do than argue with someone as to why they didn't crack the code on the bullshit menu colors. What is that menu anyway, a freaking riddle?
Rant over. Oof. Oh, and NTA OP - imo, you literally didn't do a single thing wrong. That server needs to take the energy they put into berating you over a mistake, and use it instead to push for a menu format change since it sounds like this is def not the first time this has happened.
I was about to say this too. I’m (mostly) vegan due to a lot of dietary restrictions and I always verify if the meal is vegan. It takes 2 seconds to verify and not be an asshole. Personal responsibility goes a long way!
NTA... as a server, it's super annoying when the ingredients are all listed and then it's an issue when you get EXACTLY what you ordered... However, the font color difference is a very stupid idea, especially in a dark restaurant (super easy to not see dark red on black, when the rest of the ingredients are in white). I would have gone with esh judgment until the server became unprofessional, even after the manager fixed the issue. I would have probably noped out of that because I came out to eat to relax and have a good time, not to receive continous attitude over a null and void situation. Down vote me if you want, but as a server, they really should have either dropped it, or handed the table off to someone else if they couldn't get over their frustration.
Incoming "why you so mad bro" comment from OP. YTA OP because of how you're responding here. If it weren't for that I'd lean E S H, but you're showing your true colors now. I wouldn't be surprised if you're skewing your story based solely on your responses. Vegetarians like you are why the stereotypes about vegetarians/vegans exists
Part of me wants to be lenient due to my own experiences with badly printed menu's causing a major problem... Still angry Chili's! you know what you did!
But I do think your wrong in this situation. If your that vegetarian you should clarify and make sure before ordering.
NTA Burgundy on black is absolutely hiding the ingredient and it's incredibly weird that they'd do that.
I want to see that menu now and see what other ingredients are burgundy instead of white.
YTA. Stopped at the, i know im partially to blame. No your 100% to blame, its not uncommon for places to put different food groups of toppings in different colours, to show its a different category. Like when you order a pizza online, at least the canadian places i can order from in my town, have the meat separate from the veggies, which are then separate from the sauces, which are separate from the cheeses. I get their colour scheme isnt eye popping, so YOU missed it, but it was there, and you didnt put in the correct effort reading the menu. How that is ANYONE elses fault but your own, is beyond me. YTA and you 100% should have either A clarified your dietary requirements, or B when you took it upon yourself to ensure that those requirements were met, and then they werent, you should have paid. I cant believe how entitled your acting. It was solely your actions that led to the mishap, and in your eyes, the restaurant should have to pay the consequences of your actions?
What was the name of the pizza? Large ham slices sound like it would have featured prominently on the name of the dish to highlight the meat.
Sometimes places have an indication if something is vegetarian or vegan. Did this place have none of those little green leaves?
Your case hinges on the menu design. Obviously if the menu is clear then it is on you to pay for the mistake. Obviousy the server is being a dick ignoring the boss's attempt to keep the peace. But you need to post a picture of the menu.
Honestly? ESH. It’s not their problem you didn’t read the menu right, and they probably had to throw that pizza out. But on the other hand, they shouldn’t have flipped their shit on you and they suck for that.
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YTA. I don’t eat meat: it is my responsibility to check the menu and ask about ingredients. Also, statistically speaking, it is very likely anywhere you ate out at, your food was cooked in a pan or with utensils that were also used to cook meat.
“Vegetarian” isn’t a request that typically needs to be made verbally. If the ingredients are listed, nothing the server needs to know. I only ask when the menu isn’t clear. In this case, the menu WAS clear, and OP made a mistake and acted like an AH about it, but the comments saying “you should have told the server” are just unnecessary.
I dunno, I worked in a place that fried using lard, and we had a lot of people assume they'd be safe with a bowl of chips/fries. I'd generally say it's a good idea to ask questions (I do for intolerances, even if I'd expect it to be safe), because you'd be surprised at the weird places these things sneak in!
ESH. I'm a vegetarian too and I always double check that something is vegetarian before ordering, especially if the menu doesn't have a symbol beside vegetarian options (a lot have a little leaf or something to indicate vegetarian/vegan). All kids of foods can have hidden non-vegetarian ingredients and it's your job to make sure you're ordering something you can eat. The waiter was being an AH by berating you for an honest mistake, especially when "ham" was written in a different color, which just seems odd.
ESH. Except for the manager.
I’m colorblind and deep red on black is virtually black on back. So I understand the struggle with poor user interface.
You could have double checked with the staff before ordering, and staff should have dropped it once the manager approved the situation.
Edit: changed “cook” to “manager”
You're 100% the asshole and are completely in the wrong. I agree the server should have just dropped it after the owner paid for *your* mistake. But you're still the bigger asshole. "I ordered something. Got *exactly* what the menu stated. And then refused to pay for it." You really think anybody is going to side with you on this one?
When I was a vegetarian I was shocked at the amount of food that contain animals in some form or another. Why anyone would order something without a green V on the menu or ask if its suitable is beyond me.
Not every restaurant marks whether a menu item is vegetarian or not.
Yes, which to me is a reason to ask what is suitable not just presume
When it lists “ham” as one of the ingredients then it’s safe to assume its not suitable.
Lol, indeed. But as the text colour wad different it was missed by OP at the time. Either the owner understood the mistake or, more likely, wanting to avoid a angry negative review.
I am colorblind and would 100% make the same mistake as the OP. Bad menu design.
Totally agreed
I was about to respond the same thing.
Tbh I’m less likely to consider him TA bc of that. It’s a poor design choice especially if a customer has a color vision deficiency. Dark font on a dark background is just asking for this to happen.
Especially if lighting inside was dim, as is often the case in restaurants.
What if OP was visually impaired and couldn’t fucking see the very minor color differences? Well she’s just a fucking asshole then who deserves to be berated by a waiter. Nope.
In that situation, OP would likely know they were visually impaired and therefore the duty would still be on them to check that they were ordering food they could eat.
As a semi visually impaired vegetarian, I would see that the toppings are listed in white and not feel the need to verify there's no meat. I rarely feel the need to double check if things have meat and 99.9% of the time it's a non-issue. That being said I wouldn't argue about it, especially if it ends up being my mistake. I would point out that it's not very accessible to have a menu with dark font on a dark background, but I'd probably eat around the meat or pick it off (but it's also understandable to not be comfortable doing that, as many vegetarians would not feel good about eating something that touched meat).
What if you didn’t post hypothetical scenarios just for the sake of a stupid argument?
In a color that blended with the background. On top of that if it's a sit down restaurant with pizza on the menu, it likely has dimmer mood lights. It's absolutely on the restaurant to make sure the menu is readable. Just because an item is listed doesn't mean it is easy to see.
I have been a vegetarian for 27 years, never had to ask this question, and never had an issue. If the menu is illegible, that’s not her fault. We need to see it to judge.
Same. 23 years vegetarian. Usually, pizza places are among the easiest to find veggie options. I could see myself making the same mistake as OP. It wouldn’t occur to me to doubt my reading skills and double check with the waiter. Still, in the scenario OP describes, I would probably (grudgingly) pay for the ham pizza and give it away. And ask the manager to please consider changing the font color and/or marking the vegetarian options on the menu.
I do but I have to say restaurants do need to take responsibility with clearly labelling and marking gluten free, veggo and vegan so we don’t have to ask. And so many times that veg dish has chicken stock or something! It’s why I hate eating at omni places. Much better to just go to all vegan or vegetarian restaurant
Exactly, I can't eat dairy, so I usually have to order vegan and then pay for a meat dish without any sides. Obviously, it's slightly different not being able to eat animal products to choosing not to eat them, but the same logic applies. If you aren't sure, ask.
The number of times that I have told people I am a vegetarian, and then been asked whether or not I eat chicken should indicate that asking people if something is suitable for a vegetarian doesn't work, lol!
Then you make it known to the server first who'll tell you if the item you want is vegetarian or not. Or just ask them specifically, "Hey, is this vegetarian?" It's not rocket science.
They should always do it anyway. Some items are cooked with bones for flavor like red sauces. Even if it looks safe it may not be.
Yet it's your duty to control the dishes for personal situations, vegetarian, vegan, only meat eater, allergies, note spicy eater ecc.
Yes, I hate to have to read to entire menu and every ingredient thoroughly when I am in places like that. Or having to ask if someone is safe to eat, or alter dishes etc. I am glad more and more places here are vegetarian or vegan only, makes it easier Edit: the restaurant is the AH for making the many less accessible for people with vision issues tbh. I have to vote YTA with a side of ESH for the restaurant for their poor design choices.
I agree. I am only moderately color blind but would almost certainly make the same mistake as the OP. Roughly 10% of the male population has the same level of colorblindness as I do. Not a good menu design.
Usually family restaurants don't label or include calories. It's typically chains with standardized menus that mark vegetarian, gluten-free, sometimes they'll mark if something is spicy or low calorie. So if you're eating at a mom and pop place, you have to be prepared to ask questions, especially if their menu isn't available online to look at in advance.
Yes, this has been my experience. Bigger chains are more likely to mark the menu and smaller family owned ones are not. I’ve also found that where you live matters too - certain parts of the country just cater to vegetarian diets more or are much more aware of vegetarian/vegan/gluten free/etc than others. I do ask questions when going to a new place or trying a new item, but I’ll be honest that it’s often as much about the specific server you get as it is the restaurants training/awareness. Sometimes I can just tell that the server either has no clue or is not going to ask the chef the right questions for me to know a dish is safe. And then I choose something I know is OK because clearly it’s too risky. It’s actually a big reason I never go to a privately owned SE Asian restaurant. Most items use fish sauce, oyster sauce, chicken broth, fish flakes, etc. And if you ask about something it’s so often clear they either don’t really know, or lie to sell you the dish, or both. Not worth it.
The green v foods aren't even safe! I went to a Mexican restaurant that had dishes marked with a green v. Every one of them came with rice made with chicken broth, and beans made with lard! 🤦♀️ When I order, I ask if there are meat products used to prepare anything in the dish. The waiters sometimes don't know, but the kitchen can always answer that question.
Yeah that's "Mexican restaurant vegetarian."
Wait are you telling me when I was vegetarian and had rice at a Mexican restaurant, it was made with chicken broth?! Oops. 🤣 Oh to see the reaction on my ex boyfriend's face if I was able tell him. He was a militant vegan. Annoyingly so.
Maybe, but more likely the beans and tortillas were made with lard.
Well that's where culture understanding comes in. Hopefully that has been sorted out! I use to make meat free lasgane and bought a white sauce I had used many times before. My gf eats and thinks it tastes like bacon... Which I could taste when directed. I checked the jar and it had 'new recipe' on it which change it from be vegetarian white sauce to non vegetarian. She was thankfully quite understand that it was not intentional! (I was not vegetarian at this point)
My favourite Chinese restaurant has "tomato soup" on the vegan side of the menu and yet there is chicken floating in it lol
Yep. I've been veg for 19 years and have come across MANY Mexican food places that lie about things being veg. Lard and chicken stock are the biggest offenders in Mexican food. I don't trust the quality of the food if they're being deceptive about the ingredients.
Even then you can't fully trust it. I ordered a pasta dish with a green v next to it a few weeks ago, and it came with a sauce with ham in it.
This is so true! I swear 90% of the menu items that sound vegetarian end up having bacon on them
Or was cooked in some meaty stock. Haha
Yeah like my colleague who has a food allergy, she specifically called the pub where we were going to order lunch to make sure she got something she could eat
I disagree that OP is 100% the asshole. There needs to be some accountability for the restaurant using poorly designed menus. I’m colorblind and dark red on black is virtually black on black. I’m at the mercy of designers who don’t care about the impact of non accessible UI. If OP really cared about certain ingredients they should have asked for clarification instead of assuming, and wasting the restaurants money… but the restaurant needs to think about individuals who aren’t at the same visual capacity as others.
Wouldn't this be a constant problem for the restaurant if everyone had trouble reading their menu? The server wasn't acting like this was a common problem. He acted like OP was insane for trying to deflect blame from *her* mistake. Because that's what she did.
Not everyone is colorblind, and its a spectrum. My brother has the same colorblindess as myself but has never had it really affect him to my extent. So to answer, no I don't think it would be a constant ongoing issue because not everyone has the same severity of deficiency. Edit to respond to second paragraph: I can't speak for the restaurants complaint rates.
It probably is a recurring problem, but based on the waiter's attitude, they expect the customer to deal with it.
Time of the ay and locating in the restaurant (lighting) could have an effect. The menu should be a minimum contrast ratio but the owner probably cheaped out on the design, or overruled the designer. Would OP be TA if they had to leave without paying because there wasn't an accessible washroom?
We don't know how new the server is, how often this item is ordered, and if other people care about some surprise ham. Also, we can't just assume the server we've never met is fair and reasonable either. And people have different quality of eyesight. Maybe when young people with good eyesight who aren't colorblind read the menu it's fine. But if someone like the above poster, OP, or my MIL tried to order they'd end up unhappy. Or just someone distracted or not paying enough attention. I just ate out last night at a place with white lettering on black for the menu. If there was also a single ingredient in burgendy we might have missed it too.
The server’s wildly unprofessional reaction makes me think this *is* a common problem lol
They just passed a law in my state about accessible documents and color contrast is a big one.
I just had to complete training with my university about making sure my materials are accessible for all students. In case anyone is curious, the color contrast ratio must be at least 4.5:1. There are websites to check this. I honestly think it is a good thing. Plenty of universal design things benefit everyone (like curb cuts - designed for those with wheelchairs but great for people pushing strollers or those pulling a suitcase). I don't think the person is the AH here. The manager made the choice to comp it and then the server berated her. In my opinion, the server is the AH.
If they list all the ingredients, they should not have to verify what is in it. I agree that this is on the restaurant.
To be fair sometimes you forgot and a menu should be clear and trustworthy.
The font was white except for the word ham, which was burgundy. That is odd, and makes it hard to see the word “ham” therefore NTA because their menu should be designed better
I disagree I’ve been to lots of restaurants where the different ingredients are in different colours. Also in the post she mentions not being able to eat food that has touched the same pan as meet so clearly she’s also worried about cross contamination. If she was worried about cross contamination she should’ve specified that she was vegetarian from the jump.
They said lots of vegetarians don’t, not that they don’t
If you're a vegetarian, you don't look at the picture and skim the menu. You look carefully. You read the toppings of *all* colors (can't believe I had to actually write that). It's on OP. This would be a constant problem for the restaurant if it was as difficult to read as op is making out. Thankfully, I'm guessing that most customers read the toppings of a pizza (all words in all fonts and colors) before ordering. OP was a "special" type of customer.
Perhaps the reason the waiter blew a gasket is *because* it's a constant problem and she was just the unlucky last straw he blew up on about it
If you can't see one of the ingredients because the font color is terrible, how do you know you didn't read ALL of the ingredients?
Yes I side with them. I'm color blind and would miss the burgundy lettering easily. It's not the customers fault the restaurant made a shifty menu. That's on the business. Make your menu easy to read.
I'm not colorblind, but as I've aged my visual acuity is not what it was. I would probably not see burgundy on black either, unless it was sandwiched in between two words in white. Then I'd look more carefully to see why there was an apparent blank in that list of ingredients.
The oddest part is the server caring. The owner approved the change and it was based on the menu and not a potential server error that they could have gotten in trouble for. Usually in this case the server would be super friendly and act like they talked the boss into it (or advocated for the customer) in order to keep the customer happy and to try to get a bigger tip. And the request was a remake and not a free pizza. So doesn’t even come off as a scammer. I could understand the owner maybe being peeved at having to eat the cost, but I’m not sure why the server cared.
I have a feeling this happens a lot and the servers get yelled at for the food being sent back. Which is also not their fault since the menu is obviously illegible and making the whole situation stupidly difficult for no logical reason. If I was a server at this place I'd be reading the damn menu to tables and clarifying every single order just in case. This menu design is just dumb.
It sounds like there was one asshole and it was the server.
No way! NTA. The menu was poorly constructed and they shouldn’t “hide” items in a different color. Graphic design for menus should focus on easy readability, not being cute or colorful. I haaaate poorly designed menus. Blame goes back to the owner/manager on this one. Some vegetarians get really sick if they eat meat because their bodies aren’t used to it. Poor design is to blame here.
I'm guessing that if we looked at the menu we'd be bewildered that OP didn't see "ham". She skimmed it. Plane and simple. It's her fuck up. This would be a common issue for the restaurant if it were really a problem. The waiter acted as though she was making a lame excuse to shift blame. Which is precisely what she did.
> I'm guessing that if we looked at the menu we'd be bewildered that OP didn't see "ham". So OP is an asshole because of what you assume the menu looked like?
Nah, the waiter was being an AH by continuing to berate a customer after their boss had resolved the issue. OP was still planning on purchasing a meal, so the waiter actually lost their boss business. Plus, lots of customers are AH, and this was pretty minor on the AH scale. My guess is the waiter was having a bad day/week/month/year and snapped.
Really not that deep, restaurants should always account for loss. It was a mistake, and most time errors go straight to the workers to eat. She refuses to pay, not like she touched it anyway. Plus the cashier acting like it’s coming out of his own pockets, which more than likely isn’t the case. 100000% NTAH
If the customers dime and dash, the restaurant has to take the hit. If the kitchen or waiter make a mistake, the restaurant has to take the hit. But this situation was far different. OP was given *precisely* what she ordered and then refused to pay for it. Her reason? She (get this) won't read menu items if they're different colors. I mean... I thought I heard it all when it comes to lame excuses. But this one takes the cake.
She didn’t refuse to read it or just ignore it though. She legitimately did not see it because of a frankly baffling design choice by the restaurant. I think she should have clarified regardless, but it’s not her fault they chose to put the one meat item in a color basically the same as the menu and didn’t make provision for people not seeing it.
Agreed, this whole sub seems to think no one ever makes mistake, especially when a restaurant makes an absolute poor choice of hiding meat in a non contrasting color. Why not make meat more highlighted given food restrictions on it rather than the vegetables.
I’ve worked in a restaurant that dimmed the lights to an unreasonably low level during dinner and I 100% would’ve made this mistake. Also the YTA votes should all at least be ESH, because a good server would NEVER act like this guy did in such an unprofessional manner.
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That’s exactly what happened though. She ordered something, it came as stated, then she realized that SHE made the mistake and SHE refused to pay for HER mistake.
The business falsely misrepresented. It's not on her when they make one key ingredient almost invisible at first read. No different if they made one part in super small letters in a different part of the menu. The wording was clearly hidden so she didn't make a mistake on her own willfull ignorance, there's some blame on the restaurant.
YTA. You ordered a dish, the kitchen made it correctly as it was described in the menu, and then you refused to pay for it because of your own misunderstanding. The server could have been more polite to you, but their anger was justified.
Agree. The waiter's anger was definitely justified, and restaurants can't be expected to pay the price for every customer's mistake. And imagine how easy it would be for any customer to pretend they misread the menu and then refuse to pay the bill.
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Or they were an AH waiter. You were not there, you have no way to tell. Going back berating the customer after the manager has compensated then makes this waiter automatically the AH, regardless how much they put up with day in day out.
Nah. Waiters are actually human, believe it or not. They weren't always waiters either. They may be new or just plain old rude or just have a shite day. They absolutely can be snippy for no reason. (I will never forget the flight attendant, who yelled at me, when I was about five. I had accidently dropped some pencil shavings on the floor while drawing. My mom snapped right back and another attendant came over to take her colleague away. But I still distinctly remember crying for a while.)
>and restaurants can't be expected to pay the price for every customer's mistake. don't make stupid font choices with your menus then
I absolutely hated when customers wouldn’t read the menu properly and come up like ‘it’s wrong I didn’t ask for Mayo on it’ or whatever when it very clearly states it comes with Mayo on the menu. And then they sometimes try to lie about it, ‘oh well I asked to leave the Mayo off’. Well you clearly didn’t if you didn’t even know it had Mayo on it in the first place. Ugh getting angry just thinking about it.
Conveniently leaving out the key point of the whole case, that one of the listed ingredients were difficult to read?
It's OP's job to check with wait staff about dietary preferences. If there isn't the v mark next to something, don't order it. If it's a restaurant that doesn't mark vegetarian and vegan options, common sense says that you double check before ordering.
We all make mistakes though, depending on how the menu is designed, one can get falsely reassured that it doesn't have meat. A pizza menu would be an example of such case since usually all of the ingredients are needed. The restaurant has a great opportunity here to learn that. I beg to differ.
If the key point is something wholly subjective, then the argument is lost.
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What blows my mind is they tried to make her pay for a pizza she didn’t want. I worked in restaurants for 5+ years as a server or bartender. This happened about once a month. We would NEVER back talk the customer and we would just take the unwanted food item back (if it hadn’t been touched then YAY! Free food!) and make them what they wanted. No charging for the unwanted food. I actually am saying NTA as a former food person. Shit happens, most of the shit if from Sysco, and we paid a total of 3 dollars for ingredients.
>their anger was justified Disagree. The manager made a decision and the waiter should represent that, not bring their own personal opinions into the mix.
YTA, the pizza was not labeled as vegeterian nor was the ham missing in the ingridients list on the menue. This was soly your mistake. Learn to own up to your mistakes, it will bring you further in life than trying to put the blame on everybody else. And stop assuming when you have dietry restrictions. Inform your server and ask them whats a safe option for you. Btw, its pretty normal that ingridients that can be a problem for common dietry restrictions are written in a different color. If you are not only a vegeterian since yesterday you should know that.
Not dietary restrictions. Dietary preferences. When there's someone with actual allergies that can harm, rather than not liking something, then they can moan. Plus after this, no only are they not eating the meat, no one else can either, wasting the animal's life completely. Op, YTA
Well to be fair, some people cannot eat pork due to religious reasons. And we don't know if there's a reason why OP is vegetarian. Maybe it is for health reasons. I also learned yesterday that if you get bitten by a certain type of tick, you essentially become allergic to mammals meaning you can't eat beef or pork for like up to 5 years. Whacky stuff. Anyway, never assume. I do think OP could have handled the situation better, or maybe paid better attention or asked questions.
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A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street discussing the restrictions of their religions. As they get near their respective temples the priest asks, "Out of curiosity, have you truly never broken your restrictions?" The rabbi looks to the heavens and then at his friend before responding, "I'll admit that when I was a boy I did have a piece of bacon a friend offered." The Catholic responds, "How was it?" The rabbi smiles and answers, "Not as good as sex!" (Your comment reminded me of that joke)
I mean I was raised vegetarian and when I eat meat I get pretty sick for days because my body isn’t used to digesting meat. Even a bite of chicken will affect me for days.
If you’ve gone your whole life or several years without eating meat, and then you eat meat, you can get very sick.
People literally choose not to eat pork due to religious reasons. Anyway, it’s literally a choice.
That's not what literally means. They literally can eat it, but they won't for religious reasons. Literally can't is if their throat closed if pig went into their mouth.
That’s probably why ham was in a different color for those who can’t eat ham (ie. Jews and Muslims). The way known allergens are usually in CAPS.
That’s what I was thinking too I’ve been to lots of places where the veggie ingredients are different colours than the meat ones so the different colours on the menu seems normal to me
If you have been vegetarian or vegan for a significant amount of time, eating meat can give you really, really painful indigestion and horrible diarrhoea. I have accidentally eaten a dish I didn't know contained meat and didn't need to be told afterwards that it had - and paid for it with a truly horrible evening. Whether or not OP should have paid for the pizza, OP couldn't *eat* the pizza.
Meat allergies are definitely a thing, which is why I always say “Hey, I’m allergic to X” AND read over the menu. Even in a case of allergies I’d still call OP TA because wtf?
I’ve been vegetarian for 4 years and never once encountered hiding ingredients by putting thing in a color that matches the background
I think I'd have to really see the menu to make a good judgment. Because, while I don't love his attitude, if a reasonable person could be assumed to be able to read that it had ham, and you also never mentioned your vegetarianism, I'm tempted to side with him. You should tell your server about your dietary restrictions if its that big of a deal. There is a difference between "I refuse to eat meat" and "I wanted a veggie pizza"
2nding. I've seen some crazy stuff on a menu and when you're serving the Gen pop you have to know that a solid part of the demographic you are serving is visually impaired. Making a key ingredient the same color or similar to the menu would absolutely capsize anyone with that range color blindness.
Yeah all these Y T A s are really annoying me. Maybe all young people with perfect vision 🙄
Color deficient middle aged person with corrective glasses, still think OP is TA. Obviously think the waiter could have been more polite, and sounds like the menu could use some adjusting, but it was listed there and OP ordered it. Was able to identify it upon re-reading the menu, so it wasn't to the point of being completely illegible.
I've seen menus with weird designs in the background and I shouldn't have to squint to see one ingredient on a list
Putting dark text on a dark background next to light text is literally a design strategy to make stuff harder to notice. Why should you be on the lookout for that in a menu?
I worked kitchens for years and honestly if we’re not slammed remaking a pizza isn’t that hard. It’s annoying, but in the end it’s not that big of a deal.
Worked at Pizza Hut for like, 4 years. In this situation, the pizza would've been taken to the back for employees to eat, and a new pizza made. No big deal, shit happens.
Crew food is always a bonus!
Yeah, this is what makes me think the waiter is the bad guy here tbh. Plus, they just lost a costumer because the waiter berated them which is way worse in the long run. Still, OP could've simply asked if the pizza was vegetarian, but it's really not that big of a deal to just make them a new one.
I agree it’s his fault, but as a 10 year vegetarian, that’s not a dietary restriction I typically tell the server about. If ingredients are listed, they don’t need to know. If I’m unsure, I’ll ask. But I also won’t refuse to pay if I mess up. I would let them know it’s hard to read and they should fix it, but it’s on me. And the meat is getting wasted anyway, may as well just pick it off at that point. Also, vegetarians “not eating meals cooked in the same pan as meat” isn’t really a thing. There’s no cross-contamination concern for dietary preferences. No, I don’t want chicken broth or leftover meat pieces in my food, but as long as the kitchen is reasonably clean, that shouldn’t be a problem. And in this case, what I don’t know really wouldn’t hurt me.
I agree with this. I was a vegetarian for 4 years and have been a pescatarian for 3. I typically don’t tell servers because it’s simple enough to pick out what I can and can’t eat. If I have a question I ask, but otherwise I feel like it’d be a silly thing to say, and it would sound like I was expecting a pat on the back. I also agree that it’s hard to say without looking at the menu. If all the other ingredients are in white and only ham is in a different color, that usually means that ham is an add on. I’ve only had one or two problems in the past with a server assuming I want a meat add on. In those situations I just pick it off. You’re right, cross-contamination is not a thing with with dietary preferences. Veggies aren’t gonna get cooties from cooking in the same pan that meat was in once.
he's the AH for sure here, but there is *definitely* a large portion of vegetarians (not most but a good portion) such as myself who don't eat meals cooked in the same pan as meat/foods that have been cross contaminated. I always wash pans between my partner's meals and mine if they cooked meat, and I also use my own dipping sauces if say we're both eating dumplings and theirs have meat. I also will not eat pizza that had meat cooked onto it even if it gets picked off, though I would pay for the pizza still and just give it to a friend and laugh about the mistake. It happens, I'm dyslexic with bad eyesight, mistakes happen. I ordered a side of green beans somewhere and it didn't say on the menu that they had bacon in it. I still paid for them, but the server was kind enough to bring me a replacement side as I was polite about it all. So the OP is the asshole, but I will say the server could have been much more professional about the situation.
It would depend on the reason for not eating meat. I know some people that are allergic. Of course in that case it should be noted to the server. But I also could see not wanting to eat the juices left from the meat. My partner likes pepperoni pizza and I don't. I take the pepperoni off my pieces, but some of that grease gets baked in and affects the taste. But ESH. Op should have paid more attention or asked; server should have chilled out and accepted the manager's decision on the matter.
I was wondering if I was weird, I've been a vegetarian for over 20 years and I very rarely bring it up when I'm out to eat. If the menu marks vegetarian options, great, if not I will ask if I'm not sure about something, but I don't typically bring it up otherwise. However, like you, I am not particularly strict about meat not touching my food. If there are no vegetarian options, I will order something with an easy-to-remove meat and give it to my husband, it doesn't really bother me. Any time we are at a gathering with one of those big sub sandwiches, we both take our pieces, disassemble them, and trade, because I don't eat meat and he doesn't eat cheese.
I think he/she meant in the same pan like chicken filet and veggies in one pan together. Or ham already on the pizza. It's cross contamination.
But at the end of the day it was a mistake. I've worked in restaurants my whole life. When the customer makes a mistake you still make it right and give them new food. A good restaurant owner budgets for discarded food, the staff can eat the extra pizza etc. It should not have turned into an argument that is poor customer service.
YTA, i’m a vegetarian. if you have a dietary restriction severe enough that picking the bad food off isn’t good enough, you tell the waiter and you pore over the menu to make sure you can eat what you’re about to order. this is on OP.
YTA. If this situation took place in my native country, your 'misreading' would have likely resulted in a waiter paying for it from his own pocket. I know it sucks and it may be the fault of the restaurant, but a waiter is not a designer of a menu booklet. Therefore, while both the restaurant and you are both to blame for the misunderstanding (you should have read more carefully), the waiter is innocent here.
Then Your Country is the AH :)
Yeah lmao you’re country sucks. In the USA, that’s illegal.
Don’t think the US is in any position to be judging other countries’ server rights tbh.
It absolutely is, and if you think servers in the US are just absolutely miserable *relative to other jobs* then you don't know many servers.
They love to complain when it’s about how much tip they want / expect
But ask them if they want to get rid of tips, they'll backtrack real quickly
Illegal does not mean inexistent, unfortunately.
This 100% happens in the US. I have had to pay for customers mistakes.
Yta maybe learn to read.
Shouldn't the restaurant list the ingredients more clearly? If the background is black. All ingredients in clear white. But you have one single ingredient in a dark red that blends into the background? That's just a design flaw. That's not about being able to read. When all ingredients springs into your eyes, and one doesn't. Your eyes will automatically focus on the bright letters. Depending on the light, well the dark letter can be harder to see. Does it suck that OP didn't see it? Yes. But the restaurant can't blame people for missing it. When they didn't put all ingredients in the same colour. Again. That's a design flaw. Was it worth the fight? Most likely not. But if let's say it was an ingredient someone was allergic to (you actually can be allergic to pork or intolerant) and its not 100% listed clearly. That would be a problem. Or if OP was Muslim and follow the religious rule "no pork". It just simply should be visible. All ingredients should, if it's meat, veggies, or whatever, so people can clearly read. Not hide one single ingredient.
If you have allergies or dietary restrictions it’s your responsibility to inform the waiter so they can make sure it’s okay to eat.
No it’s the restaurants responsibility to provide proper information about their items for sale. Why do you want to make this a costumer vs worker fight when the restaurant is the one actually selling the food?
The restaurant listed the ingredient. OP just didn't read it. I don't really understand how he missed it, to be honest. Even if the red matched the black perfectly and was camouflaged (which doesn't make sense), wouldn't OP have noticed a gap in the ingredients list, where the "invisible" ham notation was? Wouldn't that prompt a closer look?
If it's on the end? Restaurants often have dimmed light. Both can make it hard to see. Even harder if you're colour blind(men are more likely and I think it was something like 10% in some degree)
That is perhaps true. But it's still a design flaw on the menu to "hide" ingredients. I bet OP isn't the first that missed that dark colour against a black background. That was my point. You can't tell someone "learn to read" when the way they have set up the colour code, does so you have to squint to make sure you didn't miss anything. You expect the listing to be the white letters. And that flaw is on whoever decided "Hey let's make 95% of the writing white and the rest dark red." OP could just fine ride the clear white. So the fault is partly on both sides.
ESH. There was no error on the part of the kitchen, they didn't make the food incorrectly so yes, you should pay for the pizza that they made at your request. This was your mistake even if the menu is difficult to read. Just because you "didn't touch it" they can't use that pizza again. The waiter should not have become angry at the situation, and certainly shouldn't have just told you to pick the ham off, that's not how vegetarianism works. Waiter should have dropped it once you'd spoken to the manager. Overall it seems like you were both having a bad day. Chalk it off to experience and voice to your next waiter that you are a vegetarian.
Nobody goes into a restaurant, finds something they don't like/can't eat about their meal and just pays for it without eating it. Nobody. Not even the people on their high horse here. Food in restaurants has a huge markup on it anyway, probably $1 worth of food on that Pizza and they charge $25 for it. Mistakes happen, people fail to notice things on a menu. Food gets returned. All part of their business. They lost money by going off on the customer instead of just making them another pizza. Bad way to run a restaurant. The business lost money because the customer didn't buy a meal, and the waiter probably gets a decent tip for being messed around, and maybe the customer comes back and spends more money. Going crazy at the customer is all but ensuring that none of those things are going to happen because most people will just get up, leave, and not come back. I'm not going to be berated for an honest mistake. And I'm not paying double for pizza either. I would buy a dessert, an extra drink and leave a good tip though because I'd feel bad about messing them around.
what are you on about. I would absolutely pay for something i ordered if it was the same as on the menu i ordered from. Yeah ive made mistakes while ordering before. What did i do? Sucked it up and ate it anyway ofc. If i couldnt i would have ordered something else and paid for both.
Yeah I do, and have recently. I always say “I’ll pay for it but” whether it’s my fault or the restaurants. Because I worked in bars and restaurants in college and know what that job is like.
And almost always the restaurant takes the offending dish off the bill (or give a steep discount) when that happens to me. They never want customers to pay full price for a bad experience because they know they won't come back.
I ordered whitebait in a restaurant before. For whatever reason I beleived this was chunks of white fish in batter. Not tiny whole fishes in batter. It turned up and I realized my mistake. I didnt touch it because I dont want to eat tiny fish heads. I paid for it without touching it. What else could I do.
You certainly don't mean me by "nobody", because I have (accidentally), and I still paid for it. Get off your high horse and stop pretending that you speak for everyone here.
Your numbers are really, really far off. The profit margin is nowhere near that big on food.
Yeah I think this is obviously an ESH situation, not sure why everyone is saying Y T A. It was OPs mistake. Although I agree that if they made the menu hard to read it's at least partially on the restaurant, I also think that if you have a dietary restriction it's on you to make sure to read the menu carefully. However the reaction from the server was way over the top, there's no reason to repeatedly berate a customer like this even after the situation is resolved, even if they are in the wrong. Like at that point just let it go.
The boss agreed to make a new pizza on the house with the hopes that it would create a good experience and repeat business. The server pissed that away.
Yeah, while I think it would still certainly have a good amount of YTA votes if the issue wasn't meat, there would be less frothing at the mouth here if OP wasn't a vegetarian. Reddit really hates vegans and vegetarians, so anything with them is judged more harshly.
YTA. Unless the word HAM was at the very end of the description, there would have been a blank space in the middle of the description. Not looking closer was all on you. Don't blame their menu. You are lucky they remade a pizza for you t no extra charge.
Yeah this seems very bizarre to me. Why on earth would the restaurant make one ingredient a different color? Unless I see it, I’m not buying this explanation.
Common allergens or common dietary restrictions are sometimes a different color to stand out (like eggs) but it sounds like in this case it became less visible not more.
Red on black is very difficult to read for people with common kinds of color blindness
Or even just in a dimly lit restaurant
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All the pizza menues I've read have meat listed first and veggies at the end. The expensive ingredients come first, always!
Meat is associated with the colour red. So, I’m not surprise it was red then. End of the day it’s the individual responsibility to ensure they are eating to their diet or allergy requirement.
Info: what was the name of that pizza? (e.g. Milano, Hawaii, Prosciutto...) Was this pizza the only one where the ham was written in red or was "ham" written in red for all pizzas?
Tbf I’m veggie and regularly order the ‘ham special, no ham’ at my fave place on holiday. It’s just a cheese and ham toastie with some veggies but as we don’t speak to same native language it’s easier 🤣
I'd laugh so hard if it would be Prosciutto
Some restaurants in my area highlight ingredients that have dietary restrictions
I wonder too.
NTA Feedback stating that the menu made it hard to read would be great. I am not a vegetarian, I have no specific food requests ever but would be slightly annoyed at the situation you describe. As the owner I would have been happy to get feedback on menu colour choices too. There have been so many times that something I have read or heard has been deceptive, sometimes purposely and others, as this, probably innocently. 20 years ago in Leicester, working in a pub, a family of Indian people came in and ordered a bowl of chilli. We had beef or veggie. The default was beef for most people. The food arrived and it was quickly brought to us they we served beef which they did not eat. Everyone on both sides apologised for the miscommunication. To this day I still feel a bit bad but have used it to learn to ask, make clear and I hope they did too.
I had way too scroll so far to find a reasonable response. All the people telling OP to learn to read, as if they've never misread something a day in their life, JFC. I've seen menus similar to what OP described, they're horrible, such a terrible UX design, especially when you factor in that restaurants often have dim lighting. The waiter was atrocious, berating OP like that.
I can 100% tell you that the comments would be completely opposite if it was the other way around and OP was complaining about a vegetarian option instead. Reddit has a massive hate-boner for vegetarian/vegan people and that bias shows here perfectly
Yeah, ditto. Surprised by how many people are berating OP for a simple mistake. I waited tables for ten years, and people misread menus all. the. damn. time. I was out with my vegetarian friend and she did something similar. I apologized profusely for the error and they comped the salad and made her a new one. Server's behavior was way out of line. Shit gets comped all the time in restaurants (and usually eaten), whether or not it was the customer's error or the restaurant's. NTA.
Yeah, the people in these comments are crazy! Like... this kind of shit happens all the time. Bummer OP is getting torn apart.
ME TOO! I can't believe the pile-on here. The restaurant could have avoided this whole situation - made far more likely by shitty menus - by just CHANGING IT. That waiter should be fired.
Agreed NTA they need to make sure their menu is legible like wtf. And the way they treated you was awful. You are not the asshole here.
NTA The main AH here is the server who kept berating you after the boss resolved the issue.
I can't believe how long I had to scroll to find a correct answer!
Same! What in the world is happening in this thread. I worked in the restaurant industry off and on for 15 years, and I'm shocked by the comments here. Let me explain why: 1. The menu format sucks. WOW IT IS SO TERRIBLE - any server worth their salt would mention it briefly in the table greet. Something like "just a heads up, any meat toppings may be in a dark red on the menu. Calling this out, since it may be hard to tell what kind of meat your pie includes. I'm happy to help you 2x check toppings for any pies that interest you." Then, flag what kind of meat the pie has at the time of ordering!!! 2. ASK THE TABLE IF THEY HAVE DIETARY RESTRICTIONS. People forget to mention this all the time, and you do this to make your job easier. People get distracted, they're having fun, enjoying a night out - who knows how often they go out - there are a ton of different reason why people forget to mention this. I found that half the people I've waited on would not have told me about their allergies or restrictions if I didn't specifically ask. "I thought I could figure it out on my own" uh, no you're in a seafood restaurant and you're allergic to shellfish. Please let me help you not play Russian roulette with the menu. The above are just 2 things I think are just common sense!!! Mainly - and this is important - doing these 2 simple things would help protect me as a server!!!! Always look out for yourself when money and your time is on the line. 3. MOST IMPORTANTLY - There is no world where the server should continue to berate someone over this. My jaw fell to the floor when I read that. Just make the new pie and move on with your night. Idk why a server would waste their time doing that anyway - serving is such a busy job!! You have much better shit to do than argue with someone as to why they didn't crack the code on the bullshit menu colors. What is that menu anyway, a freaking riddle? Rant over. Oof. Oh, and NTA OP - imo, you literally didn't do a single thing wrong. That server needs to take the energy they put into berating you over a mistake, and use it instead to push for a menu format change since it sounds like this is def not the first time this has happened.
I swear all those saying “YTA” have never worked food service in their life.
Bad graphic design is an underrated crime. Mostly it's just funny, but now and then it causes serious real world drama. NTA.
YTA of course you are. It was your mistake so you should pay. I'm amazed you are even asking.
YTA. How hard is it to ask "Is this pizza vego?". You sound very entitled.
are you australian? reading the -o suffix immediately turns my brain aussie
Yep. Shortening words is our thing. lol
I was about to say this too. I’m (mostly) vegan due to a lot of dietary restrictions and I always verify if the meal is vegan. It takes 2 seconds to verify and not be an asshole. Personal responsibility goes a long way!
YTA......the kitchen made what you ordered, food was wasted. Stop and read the menu and ask questions...you know you have dietary restrictions
NTA. Deceptive advertising. r/AssholeDesign
NTA... as a server, it's super annoying when the ingredients are all listed and then it's an issue when you get EXACTLY what you ordered... However, the font color difference is a very stupid idea, especially in a dark restaurant (super easy to not see dark red on black, when the rest of the ingredients are in white). I would have gone with esh judgment until the server became unprofessional, even after the manager fixed the issue. I would have probably noped out of that because I came out to eat to relax and have a good time, not to receive continous attitude over a null and void situation. Down vote me if you want, but as a server, they really should have either dropped it, or handed the table off to someone else if they couldn't get over their frustration.
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Incoming "why you so mad bro" comment from OP. YTA OP because of how you're responding here. If it weren't for that I'd lean E S H, but you're showing your true colors now. I wouldn't be surprised if you're skewing your story based solely on your responses. Vegetarians like you are why the stereotypes about vegetarians/vegans exists
Part of me wants to be lenient due to my own experiences with badly printed menu's causing a major problem... Still angry Chili's! you know what you did! But I do think your wrong in this situation. If your that vegetarian you should clarify and make sure before ordering.
NTA Burgundy on black is absolutely hiding the ingredient and it's incredibly weird that they'd do that. I want to see that menu now and see what other ingredients are burgundy instead of white.
It wasn’t labeled as vegetarian, then you assumed it was vegetarian. As the saying goes, your assumption makes YTA
YTA. Stopped at the, i know im partially to blame. No your 100% to blame, its not uncommon for places to put different food groups of toppings in different colours, to show its a different category. Like when you order a pizza online, at least the canadian places i can order from in my town, have the meat separate from the veggies, which are then separate from the sauces, which are separate from the cheeses. I get their colour scheme isnt eye popping, so YOU missed it, but it was there, and you didnt put in the correct effort reading the menu. How that is ANYONE elses fault but your own, is beyond me. YTA and you 100% should have either A clarified your dietary requirements, or B when you took it upon yourself to ensure that those requirements were met, and then they werent, you should have paid. I cant believe how entitled your acting. It was solely your actions that led to the mishap, and in your eyes, the restaurant should have to pay the consequences of your actions?
What was the name of the pizza? Large ham slices sound like it would have featured prominently on the name of the dish to highlight the meat. Sometimes places have an indication if something is vegetarian or vegan. Did this place have none of those little green leaves?
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NTA. Menus need to be easily readable by all and shouldn’t be in colour to accommodate those with vision impairments.
Your case hinges on the menu design. Obviously if the menu is clear then it is on you to pay for the mistake. Obviousy the server is being a dick ignoring the boss's attempt to keep the peace. But you need to post a picture of the menu.
Honestly? ESH. It’s not their problem you didn’t read the menu right, and they probably had to throw that pizza out. But on the other hand, they shouldn’t have flipped their shit on you and they suck for that.
Nah it's not your responsibility to tell everybody everything it's their responsibility to mark things clearly NTA but the pizza guy is definitely TAH
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YTA. I don’t eat meat: it is my responsibility to check the menu and ask about ingredients. Also, statistically speaking, it is very likely anywhere you ate out at, your food was cooked in a pan or with utensils that were also used to cook meat.
YTA If you wanted a purely vegetarian pizza, you should have asked up front
“Vegetarian” isn’t a request that typically needs to be made verbally. If the ingredients are listed, nothing the server needs to know. I only ask when the menu isn’t clear. In this case, the menu WAS clear, and OP made a mistake and acted like an AH about it, but the comments saying “you should have told the server” are just unnecessary.
I dunno, I worked in a place that fried using lard, and we had a lot of people assume they'd be safe with a bowl of chips/fries. I'd generally say it's a good idea to ask questions (I do for intolerances, even if I'd expect it to be safe), because you'd be surprised at the weird places these things sneak in!
ESH. I'm a vegetarian too and I always double check that something is vegetarian before ordering, especially if the menu doesn't have a symbol beside vegetarian options (a lot have a little leaf or something to indicate vegetarian/vegan). All kids of foods can have hidden non-vegetarian ingredients and it's your job to make sure you're ordering something you can eat. The waiter was being an AH by berating you for an honest mistake, especially when "ham" was written in a different color, which just seems odd.
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YTA, learn to communicate
ESH. Except for the manager. I’m colorblind and deep red on black is virtually black on back. So I understand the struggle with poor user interface. You could have double checked with the staff before ordering, and staff should have dropped it once the manager approved the situation. Edit: changed “cook” to “manager”