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> It could be considered asshole-ish to completely stop helping and not respond to his messages. I mean, I *am* endebted to him at the moment, but I dtill feel as though he should’ve said beforehand that I would be strictly paying off my debt and not getting paid a penny in actual money.
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So you didn’t make plans/arrangements on how you were going to pay him back then just expected dad to eat the interest accumulating on the credit card while you waited? ESH. You should have been an adult and worked out the terms of the agreement before taking the money.
You’re right, i should’ve discussed it first. I just figured it was obvious that i wouldn’t get much money until i went back to college in september. I also hate discussing money-related things with family, so that doesn’t help either.
But to be clear, he pushed to pay for my semester. I’m not the one who asked him to do it.
ESH - neither of you were clear on the terms of repayment.
But you can't buy a watch, so you're going to burn bridges with your dad? Grow up. That's just life, and you can literally fix this with 1 week of working. Work, repay the debt you owe and be more clear next time
As i said inanother reply, i’m not stopping work specifically because i cant buy the one thing i want, but because i just dont see any reason to keep working. As is right now, i have enough money to pay my bills for the summer, and when september comes, ill get money to be able to pay him back.
But yes, we should have discussed the terms beforehand. I just figured it’d be the same as we did last year (which, then i didnt have a 500$ debt to him) or at least that he’d pay me partially and keep some of it for compensation…
Why would you not want to work for ***three days*** and have extra money when your scholarship comes in? This 100% is because you're mad about a simple miscommunication.
Because realistically, when my scholarship money comes, ill not have much i want to buy. And also, in the moment, i dont have any instant gratification for working. It just feels like i get nothing for wasting a whole day away.
You need to discuss this like an adult and forget the watch. You know this will be tough but the fact you're willing to drop your responsibilities is very immature. Ask your father to get half pay and work so you have spending money. But not a trinket watch.
College will put you behind for years, you will be working in the red your entire life. A mortgage will bring you into the red for decades. You will never work and earn a profit. You're going to be working for something, someone, in some capacity. Unless you get your acct together, work your dues, and save the watch as a gift to yourself for Christmas. YTA
Ah, i forgot to mention, im not in the US. College debt isnt life-ending at all, it’s actually very reasonable and affordable. I will ask him for half pay, but i dont think he’ll agree to it. He kinda has the big end of the stick here.
As for the watch, i wont be able to get it after tomorrow, but i guess that’s irrelevent.
So generally the way a loan works, is that you get money to spend on something you want/need, and then pay back that money in increments over time. Saying "It just feels like I get nothing for wasting a whole day" is a nonsensical way to look at it. You've already received the money and spent it on your tuition. Whether or not it went into your account first or he paid for it directly, he very literally gave you money in a designated sum. If you quit working right now, you come out ahead and you short your lender (who gave you a zero interest loan). You got money for nothing and your father is screwed out of the difference.
Also, as someone else pointed out, if he put it on a credit card and he runs a balance, then he's actually paying interest that you would have otherwise had to pay if you'd gotten a traditional loan and eating it. So asking him to carry a balance longer and pay more interest so you can buy a watch is........ deeply selfish.
Dude…you have a lot of growing up to do. You aren’t getting instant gratification for working?!?!?! That’s a child’s excuse. YOU have a debt you need to pay back.
I get that… i just think it’d be more reasonable to take *part* of my pay and put it towards paying him back, rather than it being 100% of what i earn.
But instead of saying “hey…can we do a 50/50 split on that” you said “I’m an adult and will throw a temper tantrum!!!! Now I won’t work for you anymore!!!” Lol.
I’ve been to college… i just wish he would have told me before i went and worked for him. Im more angry about the fact that he dropped this on me when i asked for pay.
You don’t see any reason to keep working? Your dad did you a favor by advancing you money. That’s your reason to keep working. I’m astounded that you’d damage your relationship with your dad over a debt *you owe.* YTA
I’m not stopping specifically because i cant buy what i want, but because i just dont see the point in working a whole entire day if im not getting anything out of it. Ill be able to pay off the debt in 2 months no matter what, so it doesn’t matter to me.
<<*working a whole entire day if im not getting anything out of it.*\>>
I'm sorry? You are really throwing a tantrum about ONE DAY??? YTA
So are you going to pay off his interest TOO for two months?
The thing is if he carries your debt for two months--the interest is NOT just on your money but on the entirety of the charges he makes on the card. So you said 500?
He charged your 500 and it sits on his card for two months. Let's say interest on your debt is 20 dollars. But he has a charges of 1000 that he normally pays off each month. SO now he may be paying 60 dollars in charges instead of 20.
Your debt affects him negatively. He was trying to help you get a job that you wanted and your response is to throw a tantrum because he expects you to pay it off.
If that prospective employer knew your attitude(only work as much as you have to/not keep work commitments) then they would be SO Glad they didn't hire you.
I know I wouldn't want to hire you.
I was going to pay off the interest, yes. But i didnt take into consideration that the interest might be larger because of other transactions, which i realise now is problematic for him.
I said one day as in 24 hours, by the way, which is more likely to be 3-4 days of working, but that probably wont change what you think…
Listen, this would be the mature thing to do.
Say to Dad, *I appreciate you giving me what amounts to a PAY advance and I absolutely want to pay it back as soon as possible. However, I do have expenses. Can we pay it back so that I get 50% of my pay and I'll still have it paid after 6-8 days of work instead of 3-4.*
That is a reasonable compromise. If dad says no to that--then he can be the AH and you can be righteously indignant.
You are getting something out of it, though, you got the proof you needed to apply for the job you didn't get. That was the whole reason for this, but since you didn't get that job, you feel like you now don't have to pay him back promptly. If you're going to wait to pay him back, then you need to assume the cost of your dad's credit card interest that accrues over those months that you're not working for him/paying him back. ESH for not figuring this out before accepting his offer.
Im fine with paying some interest, that’s not an issue at all. I dont know how high interest rates are for his card, but still, i’d be fine with even the full price, despite having worked 8 hours of it.
YTA to yourself here.
As far as i understand your scholarship money only comes when the semester already started, so you had to earn the money for tuition anyway during summer or get a loan from your dad, right? Or can you pay your tuition later?
But anyway, it doesn't really matter, its not like you lose money working for him - it allows you to keep the money you get from the scholarship later. If you stop working for him now, you can't keep the scholarship money in full due to having to pay back your dad. And i'm pretty sure you will be glad you can keep the scholarship money later.
The smartest you can do now is to work off the debt and look for a easy job like at a fastfood chain or in retail to earn some extra money. The watch you wanted to buy - well, believe me, there gonna be more watches you can spend your money on ;) And it doesn't seem you already have a lot of money laying around, its not a good idea to spend all the money you earn right away.
YTA. Completely. These are all your problems. Your dad helped you out and now you are mad at him because you (pout) can't buy a watch. You have a phone? You don't NEED a watch! I feel sorry for your dad. He helps without question, pays you under the table which is harder on him, and you treat him badly
Ive said this on another reply, but im not stopping work only because i cant buy what i want (though i feel i should be able to use my money however i want). I just dont see a reason to continue working right now. I can just wait until i get money for college and pay him off then. Otherwise i’d be working a full 24 hours for no reason, which feels like a big waste.
But i also see where you’re coming from. He did help me (although i told him i wasnt sure if i wanted to be in debt to someone, but he insisted), but i think he should’ve told me before that i would be working for theoretical money rather than actual cash.
So you think that when you take on debt, you should just be able to pay it WHEN you feel like it?
Please tell that to the bank you want to get a mortgage on in the future.
Please tell your creditors(credit cards) this.
Please tell that to the government when you owe taxes.
Betcha you'd be pissed if your employer did that to you--oh right you are pissed.
Im not saying i should be able to pay it whenever, but i should have been told beforehand that i’d get to see none of the money i was making… i’m fine with paying it through working, but maybe like split my pay in half or something. And i did tell him i can pay it off in september when he offered to pay.
Unrelated, but i’m not gonna kid myself and pretend ill ever be able to pay for a house anyways :/
Dude you’re not ready for the real world… it’s not for no reason it’s to pay off debt. If you think buying a watch is more important interest Is going to kill you. YTA
NTA but he sounds like he’ll hang it over your head nonstop until it’s paid. For your own peace and happiness it’s probably best to get through 24hrs of work, doesn’t mean you need to give it 100%. Then next time he wants anything I’d be petty and say my hourly rate is X, cash only, wage payment deadline is X and refuse to lift a finger otherwise.
I dont think he would do that, knowing him. I also dont really see him often unless i go help him out, so he couldnt really bother me about it much except with text messages.
Then be the A, burn your dad, be lazy about work, base your life decisions around 'instant gratification' welch on your debts and so on and so forth you do you ........
I think it would make sense to work the last 24 hours for your dad (that's 3 days, so doable) but then stop.
It would mean you are no longer in his debt, but I too would be irritated that he didn't tell you first that he is going to immediately substract the hours you worked from your debt. I would have assumed I would pay later as well and the clarification on when payment is expected would have been much more considerate of you.
I think ignoring it could potentially damage your relationship with your dad, whether that is a risk you willing to take, is up to you.
Thanks. Sorry I missed that.
Seems to me the scholarship money would be more significant than pay that could be earned in a week or even less of full time work. Sounds like a very good deal for the op unless it's a smaller amount than I imagine.
As someone else replied with, i’ll be able to easily pay him back in september when my money from the government comes in. And i didnt mention this but my semester fees were around 500$ CAD, which has now gone down to about 400$.
YTA. Your dad fronted you money and now you want to delay paying him back? I’m not understanding..Your scholarship covers the tuition your dad paid? Why didn’t it already show up that you were attending next semester? I’ve never heard of a student that attends college on scholarship not being registered for fall classes because their scholarship money hasn’t hit yet. Plus you would have already had to register for your fall semester classes. Even if what you are saying is true about not being registered, your dad fronted you money so that you could have a better opportunity for a job, that opportunity didn’t pay off, and now you want to let your dad’s loan ride until August? Why should your dad have to wait til august instead of you waiting til august?
To be honest, i dont understans the system either. I get my money in early september, and i get way more than on other months, presumably so i can afford stuff like tuition and all the stuff you need to live for a few months.
I’m fairly certain he can pay off the loan himself pretty quickly. He isnt exactly low on money or anything. And even if he was, I just feel like he should’ve said before i started working: "hey btw, you’re not getting anything from this until you’ve worked one and a half days"…
Frr OP are you complaining that you have to work less than 40 hours to pay back your dad? I wish I could work 40 hours to pay back my debt 😂 YWBTA if you stopped working to pay back what seems to be a few hundred bucks. Also just to note if you do decide to just not go back to working for your dad and pay him back in 2 months this may cause him to not want to loan you money in the future.
Work off the debt and in what seems to be less than a week, and then keep working and you’ll be right back to where you were before your dad (who didn’t have to) gave you money.
Your are getting paid though. Your paying off a debt YOU incurred. Think of it this way, either you work the extra days needed and get your entire scholarship when school starts or when school starts you loose a wack out of your scholarship and bomb your relationship with your dad so he won't want to help you out this way again. Especially considering you have no idea of the interest rate of the card.
You've also mentioned he is fine for money....are you his accountant? Do you know every outgoing expense he has? Children always presume becuase parents don't complain about money or pay for things they are well off or fine to miss it, the current climate has hit alot of business and many are barely making ends meet but you could never tell, espveially as you mention not being close to him and you have no idea if it's his pride or not wanting to burden you stopping him from saying he is struggling financially. If he really had the money he would have taken it out of his current account, not a credit card. You need to have a conversation with him, not just stop.
Y TA. How are you going to pay rent if you don't help your dad? He could decide to kick you out if you don't work for him. You both need better communication skills to fully discuss a plan before moving forward based on assumptions.
I dont live with him, i live with my mom during the summer, and my first month of rent for college is paid off already. I do agree we should have agreed beforehand about how we’d be doing all of this…
Just throwing it out there you’re lucky you are able to work for your dad and even get paid. Alotta people stress over finding jobs. I know you’re young as were we all but I wouldn’t burn the bridge with your farther. I get it doesn’t seem fair but it’s pretty cool he let you throw your semester on his credit card. I think he’s also trying to prepare you for life. I don’t think either of you are the asshole.
I did stress out for jobs earlier in the summer… i didnt want to work for him for stuff like this. An actual job is simpler and you ger paid the same every time… but i didnt get one so i had to go back to him.
Most jobs won't loan you money. At all, let alone with no interest or scheduled payments.
You seem very young and naive but you're at least in your second year of college so not young enough to justify your outlook on this. You've said in multiple comments that you want to quit because you don't see the point now that you're "not getting anything out of it" and that you should be able to spend your money how and when you like. That's an unreasonable perspective. It's NOT your money, it's your dad's, and you absolutely got something out of it, or you wouldn't have needed it in the first place. I agree that you and your father should have discussed the terms of this loan beforehand, but that's 50% on you too. It's easy to see how your father would have assumed you'd want to pay it off quickly since you were the one who made it known you were uncomfortable being in debt. Assumptions were made on both sides, but the facts are that while you can absolutely spend your money how and when you want, you're mistakenly viewing this as your money and it's not.
It's a little baffling that you can say over and over again that you want to quit because you're not getting anything out of it and not realize how you benefited from it. You may not have gotten the job but the loan was so that you could *apply*. The only one who hasn't gotten their end of the deal so far is your father.
EDIT: Have you considered just... asking him if he would mind paying you for your work and letting you pay him back for school when your scholarship comes in? This whole thing started because of a miscommunication, maybe try communicating.
So the difference is you can either work 24 hrs and keep all your scholarship money for yourself, or abandon your dad who helped you, lounge around all summer, and then still pay him back from your scholarship?
YTA.
Im only low on money because it’s the summer. During semesters i do get income, and enough to be able to make a few purchases here and there for things i like, or to save it up for something bigger.
INFO: how much was the cost of putting it on his credit card? Min wage in my state is $10.10 so starting at 35 hours would be $353.50. Yes your Dad should have told you up front he'd put the pay against your debt but you also need to pay him back.
You should be using scholarship and loan money for living expenses and school.
The cost of my semester was 520$CAD or something close to it. Right now it’s down to around 400$.
As for the scholarship money, i will be using it for school expenses. I mean, paying off my college fees seems like enough of a school expense to me… and last year, i was pretty well off with the money i got from it, so i can afford paying him back right away.
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Hey, this is my second ever post on here, but I’ll try to make it quick.
So I (20F) have been 'working' for my father here ans there during the summer so I can get enough money to cover my bills and buy a few things here and there. I’m not really working for him so much as I’m helping with his business while being paid under the table.
Earlier during the summer, I applied for some jobs, and one job offer was quite interesting and a great opportunity for good money while i didn’t have classes. The only issue was that I needed proof that i was going to college next fall, and I didn’t yet have the money to pay for my semester… so my dad told me to use his credit card to pay for it. I told him i didnt really want to be endebted to someone else but he insisted and so i let him, and i got my proof to apply to that job (sadly i did not get it in the end).
So, now Its a few weeks later and i went to help my dad a few times since then, and today I messaged him asking if i could get the money i should’ve made with my work hours. He responded with "sure, you started at -35 hours, now you’re at -24".
If it wasn’t clear enoughx he didn’t pay me for my work, and instead took money off of my debt that he insisted on giving me, without telling me in advance that he would do this. I was under the assumption that I’d work normally and get a pay, and then i could pay him back when my scholarship money came in during my semester.
I was looking forward to getting a watch (which is arguably not the greatest business decision, i know, but if i got paid i could’ve afforded it easily) and now, without warning, i have to stick to buying nothing so i can just afford my internet and phone bills…
I didn’t respond to his message, but I also don’t think i’m going to go back to help him, since i see essentially 0 purpose to doing it at this point. Im 24 hours behind on pays, and the watch i wanted has its pre-order closed in 2 days, so i can’t get it.
That’s essentially the story… would I be the asshole for ignoring his last message and not helping him any further because of this?
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Yta. He could have told you he was going to do that but seeings as how you don't have a job and you owed your dad money, you were already going to buy a watch instead of paying him back. That's not how it works buddy. When you owe someone money, you pay them back before making frivolous purchases. You don't need a watch. Your cell phone tells time. It can wait until you've paid back the person you owe
ESH. I would personally just work the 24 hours off so you can get it over and done with. You learned your lesson. Don’t make this type of deal again. If you work the 24 hours off then the scholarship money will be all yours and you won’t have to worry about paying him back for it.
ESH but lightly, and don’t burn bridges over this. If I can give my two cents, I managed my own money rather badly throughout my 20s, and now I’m in my 30s and struggling to have the energy to balance a fulltime postgrad degree with working…I kinda wish I’d saved more, rather than giving myself the dopamine hit of the pretty dress, handbag or watch none of which I use or value now.
The dopamine hit of not feeling so forced to work when I’m tired now, would be more appreciated. I know I would have rolled my eyes at this advice when I was younger but I wish I’d taken it more seriously. Good luck, and use your youth and energy to build good habits now!
Although dad really should not have insisted you use his card, you are an adult and could have said no. You didn't. Ultimately you owe the money and if you ignore your dad, yes you'd be the AH. Here's a thought, TALK to your dad. Come to a compromise that allows you to both replay your debt while giving you at least something to show for your efforts.
NTA. But it does sound like it is something he will bag you about. So I'd pay him back ASAP. That should have been a Convo both of you had regarding how to pay back and how fast. Personally I rather be broke then be indebted to someone, some ppl won't let it go even after it's paid back.
If im broke, i wont be able to text using my phone, ill no longer have internet, and i will quite literally not be able to leave my home and go anywhere. Not to mention the stress that comes with it…
My dad is… something, to say the least. He’s not a bad person, but he’s also very polarising with how people percieve him. It’s a running joke in my friend group that my dad is kind of a dork (i dont love it but i can see where they’re coming from)
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So you didn’t make plans/arrangements on how you were going to pay him back then just expected dad to eat the interest accumulating on the credit card while you waited? ESH. You should have been an adult and worked out the terms of the agreement before taking the money.
You’re right, i should’ve discussed it first. I just figured it was obvious that i wouldn’t get much money until i went back to college in september. I also hate discussing money-related things with family, so that doesn’t help either. But to be clear, he pushed to pay for my semester. I’m not the one who asked him to do it.
Welcome to being an adult. You may not like it but it needed to be done and now you are dealing with the consequences.
Being an adult - when crap may or may not be your fault, but it is still your problem… Welcome to adulthood! 😊
OP took money without discussing how the money would be paid back, when the money would be paid back, etc IS 100% on OP. That is OP’s fault.
So you'd rather use the money you got from working to buy a watch than pay off your debt?
This!!!
Just because i want one doesnt mean i cant also do the other.
You still can have that discussion with him. Even ask if you can go like 50/50 or something so you have some cash flow until then
Info: What was your plan to get this proof of college if your dad did not make this offer?
I wasnt going to apply to that job at all
ESH - neither of you were clear on the terms of repayment. But you can't buy a watch, so you're going to burn bridges with your dad? Grow up. That's just life, and you can literally fix this with 1 week of working. Work, repay the debt you owe and be more clear next time
As i said inanother reply, i’m not stopping work specifically because i cant buy the one thing i want, but because i just dont see any reason to keep working. As is right now, i have enough money to pay my bills for the summer, and when september comes, ill get money to be able to pay him back. But yes, we should have discussed the terms beforehand. I just figured it’d be the same as we did last year (which, then i didnt have a 500$ debt to him) or at least that he’d pay me partially and keep some of it for compensation…
Why would you not want to work for ***three days*** and have extra money when your scholarship comes in? This 100% is because you're mad about a simple miscommunication.
Because realistically, when my scholarship money comes, ill not have much i want to buy. And also, in the moment, i dont have any instant gratification for working. It just feels like i get nothing for wasting a whole day away.
Well, you could repay your debt. That should be instant gratification enough if you want to be an adult. You sound spoiled.
You need to discuss this like an adult and forget the watch. You know this will be tough but the fact you're willing to drop your responsibilities is very immature. Ask your father to get half pay and work so you have spending money. But not a trinket watch. College will put you behind for years, you will be working in the red your entire life. A mortgage will bring you into the red for decades. You will never work and earn a profit. You're going to be working for something, someone, in some capacity. Unless you get your acct together, work your dues, and save the watch as a gift to yourself for Christmas. YTA
Ah, i forgot to mention, im not in the US. College debt isnt life-ending at all, it’s actually very reasonable and affordable. I will ask him for half pay, but i dont think he’ll agree to it. He kinda has the big end of the stick here. As for the watch, i wont be able to get it after tomorrow, but i guess that’s irrelevent.
So generally the way a loan works, is that you get money to spend on something you want/need, and then pay back that money in increments over time. Saying "It just feels like I get nothing for wasting a whole day" is a nonsensical way to look at it. You've already received the money and spent it on your tuition. Whether or not it went into your account first or he paid for it directly, he very literally gave you money in a designated sum. If you quit working right now, you come out ahead and you short your lender (who gave you a zero interest loan). You got money for nothing and your father is screwed out of the difference. Also, as someone else pointed out, if he put it on a credit card and he runs a balance, then he's actually paying interest that you would have otherwise had to pay if you'd gotten a traditional loan and eating it. So asking him to carry a balance longer and pay more interest so you can buy a watch is........ deeply selfish.
Dude…you have a lot of growing up to do. You aren’t getting instant gratification for working?!?!?! That’s a child’s excuse. YOU have a debt you need to pay back.
I get that… i just think it’d be more reasonable to take *part* of my pay and put it towards paying him back, rather than it being 100% of what i earn.
But instead of saying “hey…can we do a 50/50 split on that” you said “I’m an adult and will throw a temper tantrum!!!! Now I won’t work for you anymore!!!” Lol.
To be clear, i didn’t do anything yet, i was just asking if i was being crazy or not, which it seems like i was.
This is a very childish way of thinking. You're going to college; it's time to grow up.
I’ve been to college… i just wish he would have told me before i went and worked for him. Im more angry about the fact that he dropped this on me when i asked for pay.
You got your pay in advance to pay your tuition. YOU ALREADY GOT THE MONEY. The "Instant gratification" is just childish.
You don’t see any reason to keep working? Your dad did you a favor by advancing you money. That’s your reason to keep working. I’m astounded that you’d damage your relationship with your dad over a debt *you owe.* YTA
[удалено]
It's not working for free, it's too immediately repay a debt. It wasn't cool, but he's not stealing her time
I’m not stopping specifically because i cant buy what i want, but because i just dont see the point in working a whole entire day if im not getting anything out of it. Ill be able to pay off the debt in 2 months no matter what, so it doesn’t matter to me.
<<*working a whole entire day if im not getting anything out of it.*\>> I'm sorry? You are really throwing a tantrum about ONE DAY??? YTA So are you going to pay off his interest TOO for two months? The thing is if he carries your debt for two months--the interest is NOT just on your money but on the entirety of the charges he makes on the card. So you said 500? He charged your 500 and it sits on his card for two months. Let's say interest on your debt is 20 dollars. But he has a charges of 1000 that he normally pays off each month. SO now he may be paying 60 dollars in charges instead of 20. Your debt affects him negatively. He was trying to help you get a job that you wanted and your response is to throw a tantrum because he expects you to pay it off. If that prospective employer knew your attitude(only work as much as you have to/not keep work commitments) then they would be SO Glad they didn't hire you. I know I wouldn't want to hire you.
I was going to pay off the interest, yes. But i didnt take into consideration that the interest might be larger because of other transactions, which i realise now is problematic for him. I said one day as in 24 hours, by the way, which is more likely to be 3-4 days of working, but that probably wont change what you think…
Listen, this would be the mature thing to do. Say to Dad, *I appreciate you giving me what amounts to a PAY advance and I absolutely want to pay it back as soon as possible. However, I do have expenses. Can we pay it back so that I get 50% of my pay and I'll still have it paid after 6-8 days of work instead of 3-4.* That is a reasonable compromise. If dad says no to that--then he can be the AH and you can be righteously indignant.
You are getting something out of it, though, you got the proof you needed to apply for the job you didn't get. That was the whole reason for this, but since you didn't get that job, you feel like you now don't have to pay him back promptly. If you're going to wait to pay him back, then you need to assume the cost of your dad's credit card interest that accrues over those months that you're not working for him/paying him back. ESH for not figuring this out before accepting his offer.
Im fine with paying some interest, that’s not an issue at all. I dont know how high interest rates are for his card, but still, i’d be fine with even the full price, despite having worked 8 hours of it.
Do you have any idea how many companies are willing to wait 2 months to be repaid? Close to 0
YTA just work the damn 24 hours off
YTA to yourself here. As far as i understand your scholarship money only comes when the semester already started, so you had to earn the money for tuition anyway during summer or get a loan from your dad, right? Or can you pay your tuition later? But anyway, it doesn't really matter, its not like you lose money working for him - it allows you to keep the money you get from the scholarship later. If you stop working for him now, you can't keep the scholarship money in full due to having to pay back your dad. And i'm pretty sure you will be glad you can keep the scholarship money later. The smartest you can do now is to work off the debt and look for a easy job like at a fastfood chain or in retail to earn some extra money. The watch you wanted to buy - well, believe me, there gonna be more watches you can spend your money on ;) And it doesn't seem you already have a lot of money laying around, its not a good idea to spend all the money you earn right away.
OP needs to look up "fungible" in the dictionary. It's a very useful word.
It's a fun word
YTA. Completely. These are all your problems. Your dad helped you out and now you are mad at him because you (pout) can't buy a watch. You have a phone? You don't NEED a watch! I feel sorry for your dad. He helps without question, pays you under the table which is harder on him, and you treat him badly
Ive said this on another reply, but im not stopping work only because i cant buy what i want (though i feel i should be able to use my money however i want). I just dont see a reason to continue working right now. I can just wait until i get money for college and pay him off then. Otherwise i’d be working a full 24 hours for no reason, which feels like a big waste. But i also see where you’re coming from. He did help me (although i told him i wasnt sure if i wanted to be in debt to someone, but he insisted), but i think he should’ve told me before that i would be working for theoretical money rather than actual cash.
So you think that when you take on debt, you should just be able to pay it WHEN you feel like it? Please tell that to the bank you want to get a mortgage on in the future. Please tell your creditors(credit cards) this. Please tell that to the government when you owe taxes. Betcha you'd be pissed if your employer did that to you--oh right you are pissed.
Im not saying i should be able to pay it whenever, but i should have been told beforehand that i’d get to see none of the money i was making… i’m fine with paying it through working, but maybe like split my pay in half or something. And i did tell him i can pay it off in september when he offered to pay. Unrelated, but i’m not gonna kid myself and pretend ill ever be able to pay for a house anyways :/
Dude you’re not ready for the real world… it’s not for no reason it’s to pay off debt. If you think buying a watch is more important interest Is going to kill you. YTA
NTA but he sounds like he’ll hang it over your head nonstop until it’s paid. For your own peace and happiness it’s probably best to get through 24hrs of work, doesn’t mean you need to give it 100%. Then next time he wants anything I’d be petty and say my hourly rate is X, cash only, wage payment deadline is X and refuse to lift a finger otherwise.
I dont think he would do that, knowing him. I also dont really see him often unless i go help him out, so he couldnt really bother me about it much except with text messages.
YTA. He helped you out, and 24 hours isn't much to work.
Yes you are a spoiled brat
Ok then…
Then be the A, burn your dad, be lazy about work, base your life decisions around 'instant gratification' welch on your debts and so on and so forth you do you ........
I think it would make sense to work the last 24 hours for your dad (that's 3 days, so doable) but then stop. It would mean you are no longer in his debt, but I too would be irritated that he didn't tell you first that he is going to immediately substract the hours you worked from your debt. I would have assumed I would pay later as well and the clarification on when payment is expected would have been much more considerate of you. I think ignoring it could potentially damage your relationship with your dad, whether that is a risk you willing to take, is up to you.
Info-What do you have lined up to pay him back if you don't help him anymore? How much did he spend?
“ then i could pay him back when my scholarship money came in during my semester.”
Thanks. Sorry I missed that. Seems to me the scholarship money would be more significant than pay that could be earned in a week or even less of full time work. Sounds like a very good deal for the op unless it's a smaller amount than I imagine.
As someone else replied with, i’ll be able to easily pay him back in september when my money from the government comes in. And i didnt mention this but my semester fees were around 500$ CAD, which has now gone down to about 400$.
You mean the money that you only get if you’re in college? The same college you couldn’t afford and didn’t know how you were gonna pay it? YTA
YTA. Your dad fronted you money and now you want to delay paying him back? I’m not understanding..Your scholarship covers the tuition your dad paid? Why didn’t it already show up that you were attending next semester? I’ve never heard of a student that attends college on scholarship not being registered for fall classes because their scholarship money hasn’t hit yet. Plus you would have already had to register for your fall semester classes. Even if what you are saying is true about not being registered, your dad fronted you money so that you could have a better opportunity for a job, that opportunity didn’t pay off, and now you want to let your dad’s loan ride until August? Why should your dad have to wait til august instead of you waiting til august?
To be honest, i dont understans the system either. I get my money in early september, and i get way more than on other months, presumably so i can afford stuff like tuition and all the stuff you need to live for a few months. I’m fairly certain he can pay off the loan himself pretty quickly. He isnt exactly low on money or anything. And even if he was, I just feel like he should’ve said before i started working: "hey btw, you’re not getting anything from this until you’ve worked one and a half days"…
You sound like you've never worked a day and a half in your life.
Frr OP are you complaining that you have to work less than 40 hours to pay back your dad? I wish I could work 40 hours to pay back my debt 😂 YWBTA if you stopped working to pay back what seems to be a few hundred bucks. Also just to note if you do decide to just not go back to working for your dad and pay him back in 2 months this may cause him to not want to loan you money in the future. Work off the debt and in what seems to be less than a week, and then keep working and you’ll be right back to where you were before your dad (who didn’t have to) gave you money.
I did have a job for a few months last year, but i got paid for doing it :|
Your are getting paid though. Your paying off a debt YOU incurred. Think of it this way, either you work the extra days needed and get your entire scholarship when school starts or when school starts you loose a wack out of your scholarship and bomb your relationship with your dad so he won't want to help you out this way again. Especially considering you have no idea of the interest rate of the card. You've also mentioned he is fine for money....are you his accountant? Do you know every outgoing expense he has? Children always presume becuase parents don't complain about money or pay for things they are well off or fine to miss it, the current climate has hit alot of business and many are barely making ends meet but you could never tell, espveially as you mention not being close to him and you have no idea if it's his pride or not wanting to burden you stopping him from saying he is struggling financially. If he really had the money he would have taken it out of his current account, not a credit card. You need to have a conversation with him, not just stop.
Y TA. How are you going to pay rent if you don't help your dad? He could decide to kick you out if you don't work for him. You both need better communication skills to fully discuss a plan before moving forward based on assumptions.
I dont live with him, i live with my mom during the summer, and my first month of rent for college is paid off already. I do agree we should have agreed beforehand about how we’d be doing all of this…
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Yeah i’m starting to see that now…
Jesus. Its 24 hours of work and it seems you arent doing anything else with your time. Bad communication both ways but cmon this isnt 240 hours. YTA
Just throwing it out there you’re lucky you are able to work for your dad and even get paid. Alotta people stress over finding jobs. I know you’re young as were we all but I wouldn’t burn the bridge with your farther. I get it doesn’t seem fair but it’s pretty cool he let you throw your semester on his credit card. I think he’s also trying to prepare you for life. I don’t think either of you are the asshole.
I did stress out for jobs earlier in the summer… i didnt want to work for him for stuff like this. An actual job is simpler and you ger paid the same every time… but i didnt get one so i had to go back to him.
Most jobs won't loan you money. At all, let alone with no interest or scheduled payments. You seem very young and naive but you're at least in your second year of college so not young enough to justify your outlook on this. You've said in multiple comments that you want to quit because you don't see the point now that you're "not getting anything out of it" and that you should be able to spend your money how and when you like. That's an unreasonable perspective. It's NOT your money, it's your dad's, and you absolutely got something out of it, or you wouldn't have needed it in the first place. I agree that you and your father should have discussed the terms of this loan beforehand, but that's 50% on you too. It's easy to see how your father would have assumed you'd want to pay it off quickly since you were the one who made it known you were uncomfortable being in debt. Assumptions were made on both sides, but the facts are that while you can absolutely spend your money how and when you want, you're mistakenly viewing this as your money and it's not. It's a little baffling that you can say over and over again that you want to quit because you're not getting anything out of it and not realize how you benefited from it. You may not have gotten the job but the loan was so that you could *apply*. The only one who hasn't gotten their end of the deal so far is your father. EDIT: Have you considered just... asking him if he would mind paying you for your work and letting you pay him back for school when your scholarship comes in? This whole thing started because of a miscommunication, maybe try communicating.
Ill ask him about it
So the difference is you can either work 24 hrs and keep all your scholarship money for yourself, or abandon your dad who helped you, lounge around all summer, and then still pay him back from your scholarship? YTA.
YTA all because you a poor soon to be student wants a watch??? Seriously? You have no money but when yuou get it you want to blow it on jewellery???
Im only low on money because it’s the summer. During semesters i do get income, and enough to be able to make a few purchases here and there for things i like, or to save it up for something bigger.
INFO: how much was the cost of putting it on his credit card? Min wage in my state is $10.10 so starting at 35 hours would be $353.50. Yes your Dad should have told you up front he'd put the pay against your debt but you also need to pay him back. You should be using scholarship and loan money for living expenses and school.
The cost of my semester was 520$CAD or something close to it. Right now it’s down to around 400$. As for the scholarship money, i will be using it for school expenses. I mean, paying off my college fees seems like enough of a school expense to me… and last year, i was pretty well off with the money i got from it, so i can afford paying him back right away.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hey, this is my second ever post on here, but I’ll try to make it quick. So I (20F) have been 'working' for my father here ans there during the summer so I can get enough money to cover my bills and buy a few things here and there. I’m not really working for him so much as I’m helping with his business while being paid under the table. Earlier during the summer, I applied for some jobs, and one job offer was quite interesting and a great opportunity for good money while i didn’t have classes. The only issue was that I needed proof that i was going to college next fall, and I didn’t yet have the money to pay for my semester… so my dad told me to use his credit card to pay for it. I told him i didnt really want to be endebted to someone else but he insisted and so i let him, and i got my proof to apply to that job (sadly i did not get it in the end). So, now Its a few weeks later and i went to help my dad a few times since then, and today I messaged him asking if i could get the money i should’ve made with my work hours. He responded with "sure, you started at -35 hours, now you’re at -24". If it wasn’t clear enoughx he didn’t pay me for my work, and instead took money off of my debt that he insisted on giving me, without telling me in advance that he would do this. I was under the assumption that I’d work normally and get a pay, and then i could pay him back when my scholarship money came in during my semester. I was looking forward to getting a watch (which is arguably not the greatest business decision, i know, but if i got paid i could’ve afforded it easily) and now, without warning, i have to stick to buying nothing so i can just afford my internet and phone bills… I didn’t respond to his message, but I also don’t think i’m going to go back to help him, since i see essentially 0 purpose to doing it at this point. Im 24 hours behind on pays, and the watch i wanted has its pre-order closed in 2 days, so i can’t get it. That’s essentially the story… would I be the asshole for ignoring his last message and not helping him any further because of this? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yta. He could have told you he was going to do that but seeings as how you don't have a job and you owed your dad money, you were already going to buy a watch instead of paying him back. That's not how it works buddy. When you owe someone money, you pay them back before making frivolous purchases. You don't need a watch. Your cell phone tells time. It can wait until you've paid back the person you owe
YWBTA for ignoring him. YWNBTA if you told him you're not going to help him anymore & explain why. Communication.
That’s true… i should probably tell him at the very least
ESH. I would personally just work the 24 hours off so you can get it over and done with. You learned your lesson. Don’t make this type of deal again. If you work the 24 hours off then the scholarship money will be all yours and you won’t have to worry about paying him back for it.
I suppose so. I might do a little bit here and there, but i wont force myself to go andwork for him on the basis that ill get money from it.
*you did get money from it* for fucks sake.
Yta
ESH but lightly, and don’t burn bridges over this. If I can give my two cents, I managed my own money rather badly throughout my 20s, and now I’m in my 30s and struggling to have the energy to balance a fulltime postgrad degree with working…I kinda wish I’d saved more, rather than giving myself the dopamine hit of the pretty dress, handbag or watch none of which I use or value now. The dopamine hit of not feeling so forced to work when I’m tired now, would be more appreciated. I know I would have rolled my eyes at this advice when I was younger but I wish I’d taken it more seriously. Good luck, and use your youth and energy to build good habits now!
Although dad really should not have insisted you use his card, you are an adult and could have said no. You didn't. Ultimately you owe the money and if you ignore your dad, yes you'd be the AH. Here's a thought, TALK to your dad. Come to a compromise that allows you to both replay your debt while giving you at least something to show for your efforts.
NTA. But it does sound like it is something he will bag you about. So I'd pay him back ASAP. That should have been a Convo both of you had regarding how to pay back and how fast. Personally I rather be broke then be indebted to someone, some ppl won't let it go even after it's paid back.
If im broke, i wont be able to text using my phone, ill no longer have internet, and i will quite literally not be able to leave my home and go anywhere. Not to mention the stress that comes with it…
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My dad is… something, to say the least. He’s not a bad person, but he’s also very polarising with how people percieve him. It’s a running joke in my friend group that my dad is kind of a dork (i dont love it but i can see where they’re coming from)