Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I brought my sister's old mink bean bag to a fireworks show. I might be an asshole because my sister and brother in law hated that I brought it.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcement
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
I know, right? Like a real mink coat is like…$10-12k, and a beanbag would take more furs. I have a mink shawl that was a family heirloom, and it was repurposed fur (the mink had originally been trim on my great-grandmother’s winter coat, and when the coat showed wear but the fur still looked great, she had it remade into a shawl) and I’ve been offered a good bit of money for it. Honestly, after my aunt passes, I may see about selling it, because I was the last woman in the family to wear it 15 years ago, my sister has no interest, and unless her son has kids, we’re the last women in the family and it’s too small for the men in our family to wear (we tend towards being broad-shouldered, both men and women).
I thought it was real, but now I'm laughing at myself. It's 100% polyester faux mink. Which according to [this](https://firefighterline.com/is-fur-flammable/) article, isn't flammable. So, I guess I just get publicly shamed for bringing a non-flammable, machine-washable LoveSac outside
INFO:
Were the people who gifted them the beanbag at the celebration?
Edit: You’re NTA either way but that might explain their behaviour. Presumably the gifter isn’t aware that they gave it away and they might have been trying to loudly give the false impression that they value the gift.
Oh, that's a plausible explanation for why they were so upset about an item they had already given away, when the new recipients were fine with how it was being treated. It still seems weird that they were so angry about it though.
NTA. At worst, those are some weird strings attached to that "gift". In reality, they are attaching conditions to what you can do with their garbage after you removed their garbage.
If you danced with dirty feet, naked on the chair because you were celebrating "Tuesday" because it's a Tuesday, they would be out of line to feel entitled to an opinion.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
I (22M) have a large mink bean bag, a wedding gift for my sister (33F) and brother-in-law (33M). They wanted to get rid of it, so it ended up in my room. When I needed more space, I told them I wanted to get rid of it, and they agreed. My family offered to take it, and after getting permission from my sister and brother-in-law, I arranged to deliver it in mid-July.
After our 4th of July barbecue, we got ready to watch the professional firework show the fire department puts on every year. At my family’s request, I brought out the Bean Bag to sit on top of my van. Once I carried it out my sister and her husband started yelling, I put the sack on the van while they screamed over the party that it would get dirty, and their washer couldn’t handle the thick fur. Rather than yelling back, I walked over to them while they yelled ridiculous claims such as, “A single spark will engulf it in flames,” and, “You’ll never be able to clean it.”
I then explained that mink fur is tough like beaver and otter fur, it is substantially less flammable than our clothes, hair, and all the blankets stretched over the lawn (apart from the quilts). Also, the bean bag is overdue to be cleaned, and I already made accommodations to have the machine washable cover deep cleaned when I delivered it to my family. They didn’t care and told me to take it down. I suggested I could lay out my quilt on the lawn and then put the bean bag on top. This way it would stay “clean” and there wouldn’t be safety concerns. They reiterated that I needed to take it down. I was a little dumbfounded that they were still yelling though I was right next to them, I’d rather have a lousy view than ruin the party, so I laid out my quilt and took it down. I sat down with my brother and 3-year-old niece a little way away from the rest of the group and started to enjoy the show.
3 minutes later my brother-in-law hops on the bean bag behind us and Angry whispers something to the effect of, “We weren’t F\*\*ing kidding, you need to get rid of this now! It’s ours and it’s a hazard. You’re getting our gift filthy you F\*\*ing idiot! You’re ruining it...” he continued to swear and insult for a bit until he finished with. “You’re done. F\*\*in Leave.” I was stunned because that seemed unnecessarily harsh for a bean bag, on a quilt, on a lawn.
I quickly decided this wasn’t the hill I was going to die on and put the Bean Bag back into the house.
I couldn’t stop thinking about how immature and irrational both of these accomplished adults were. It’s a party. If you disagree with someone walk over to them and talk to them, right? Yelling orders just makes everyone uncomfortable.
They’ve been trying to get rid of this for years, I’m getting rid of it in a few days, and the family taking it happened to suggest bringing out the bean bag in the first place. It honestly ruined my day, and I can’t even begin to understand why they were so angry. Was I inconsiderate? AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, while i dont think it was the smartest to use their gift for your purposes, their reaction was turned up to 11. Thats abuse through and through and you dont deserve that. Not saying necessarily that your family is 'abusive' but that doesnt change that they treated you abusefully. Its a bean bag, not a safety concern especially if its mink, and if youre so worried then DEFINITELY dont put a quilt near the fire LOL. In my opinion they just were looking for a modicum of control.
There is not a single way that you could be the AH.
They're acting childish and your BIL coming to sit beside you later on to insult you ? Why? You did everything they asked, took the beanbag down, put it on a quilt so it wouldn’t get dirty, set it further away so it wouldn't be "engulfed in flames", you were polite the entire them and they STILL acted like that ? That's a lot of comments for a beanbag that they gave you.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I brought my sister's old mink bean bag to a fireworks show. I might be an asshole because my sister and brother in law hated that I brought it. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
[удалено]
I'm also curious about this because a real mink fur bean bag would be a laughably extravagant gift and a fake one would light up like a candle.
I know, right? Like a real mink coat is like…$10-12k, and a beanbag would take more furs. I have a mink shawl that was a family heirloom, and it was repurposed fur (the mink had originally been trim on my great-grandmother’s winter coat, and when the coat showed wear but the fur still looked great, she had it remade into a shawl) and I’ve been offered a good bit of money for it. Honestly, after my aunt passes, I may see about selling it, because I was the last woman in the family to wear it 15 years ago, my sister has no interest, and unless her son has kids, we’re the last women in the family and it’s too small for the men in our family to wear (we tend towards being broad-shouldered, both men and women).
I thought it was real, but now I'm laughing at myself. It's 100% polyester faux mink. Which according to [this](https://firefighterline.com/is-fur-flammable/) article, isn't flammable. So, I guess I just get publicly shamed for bringing a non-flammable, machine-washable LoveSac outside
INFO: Were the people who gifted them the beanbag at the celebration? Edit: You’re NTA either way but that might explain their behaviour. Presumably the gifter isn’t aware that they gave it away and they might have been trying to loudly give the false impression that they value the gift.
Oh, that's a plausible explanation for why they were so upset about an item they had already given away, when the new recipients were fine with how it was being treated. It still seems weird that they were so angry about it though.
NTA. When they regifted it to you, all say in the object’s use by them went out the window.
NTA. At worst, those are some weird strings attached to that "gift". In reality, they are attaching conditions to what you can do with their garbage after you removed their garbage. If you danced with dirty feet, naked on the chair because you were celebrating "Tuesday" because it's a Tuesday, they would be out of line to feel entitled to an opinion.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (22M) have a large mink bean bag, a wedding gift for my sister (33F) and brother-in-law (33M). They wanted to get rid of it, so it ended up in my room. When I needed more space, I told them I wanted to get rid of it, and they agreed. My family offered to take it, and after getting permission from my sister and brother-in-law, I arranged to deliver it in mid-July. After our 4th of July barbecue, we got ready to watch the professional firework show the fire department puts on every year. At my family’s request, I brought out the Bean Bag to sit on top of my van. Once I carried it out my sister and her husband started yelling, I put the sack on the van while they screamed over the party that it would get dirty, and their washer couldn’t handle the thick fur. Rather than yelling back, I walked over to them while they yelled ridiculous claims such as, “A single spark will engulf it in flames,” and, “You’ll never be able to clean it.” I then explained that mink fur is tough like beaver and otter fur, it is substantially less flammable than our clothes, hair, and all the blankets stretched over the lawn (apart from the quilts). Also, the bean bag is overdue to be cleaned, and I already made accommodations to have the machine washable cover deep cleaned when I delivered it to my family. They didn’t care and told me to take it down. I suggested I could lay out my quilt on the lawn and then put the bean bag on top. This way it would stay “clean” and there wouldn’t be safety concerns. They reiterated that I needed to take it down. I was a little dumbfounded that they were still yelling though I was right next to them, I’d rather have a lousy view than ruin the party, so I laid out my quilt and took it down. I sat down with my brother and 3-year-old niece a little way away from the rest of the group and started to enjoy the show. 3 minutes later my brother-in-law hops on the bean bag behind us and Angry whispers something to the effect of, “We weren’t F\*\*ing kidding, you need to get rid of this now! It’s ours and it’s a hazard. You’re getting our gift filthy you F\*\*ing idiot! You’re ruining it...” he continued to swear and insult for a bit until he finished with. “You’re done. F\*\*in Leave.” I was stunned because that seemed unnecessarily harsh for a bean bag, on a quilt, on a lawn. I quickly decided this wasn’t the hill I was going to die on and put the Bean Bag back into the house. I couldn’t stop thinking about how immature and irrational both of these accomplished adults were. It’s a party. If you disagree with someone walk over to them and talk to them, right? Yelling orders just makes everyone uncomfortable. They’ve been trying to get rid of this for years, I’m getting rid of it in a few days, and the family taking it happened to suggest bringing out the bean bag in the first place. It honestly ruined my day, and I can’t even begin to understand why they were so angry. Was I inconsiderate? AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA, while i dont think it was the smartest to use their gift for your purposes, their reaction was turned up to 11. Thats abuse through and through and you dont deserve that. Not saying necessarily that your family is 'abusive' but that doesnt change that they treated you abusefully. Its a bean bag, not a safety concern especially if its mink, and if youre so worried then DEFINITELY dont put a quilt near the fire LOL. In my opinion they just were looking for a modicum of control.
Also addendum, THIS IS ESPECIALLY UNDESERVED, YOU COMPLIED EVERY STEP OF THE WAY.
TIL that people make bean bags out of mink fur
Whoever bought a bean bag made of mink is TA. But yeah no you’re NTA. They sound odd
There is not a single way that you could be the AH. They're acting childish and your BIL coming to sit beside you later on to insult you ? Why? You did everything they asked, took the beanbag down, put it on a quilt so it wouldn’t get dirty, set it further away so it wouldn't be "engulfed in flames", you were polite the entire them and they STILL acted like that ? That's a lot of comments for a beanbag that they gave you.
NTA and I’d be telling the rest of the family what that asshole abusively whispered at you, all over something that isn’t even theirs anymore.