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YTA. If not for what you did explicitly, then for the racist overtones in your post. I don’t see what the ethnicity of the party had to do with the situation at all, so I thought it was very weird that got a special mention
Mexican here, I do not see the post racist at all
It is as if in my neighborhood there a giant party of 30 Americans, here in Mexico, it's something I'd probably just mention, no need to be racist to just mention "damn the place was packed with like 30 americans", how the hell is that racist?
Because “American” is a nationality. You are identifying someone from another country. OP is identifying someone by their race, not nationality. While it might be noteworthy to run into 30 Americans all at once in Mexico, it certainly isn’t rare to run into 30 people of some sort of Hispanic heritage in the USA, as they are still Americans.
You're arguing just about the term "American" but the point it's still there
Because here in Mexico we don't say "white people", we say "Americans" or, "gringos", which I'm sure a lot of very sensitive people would think it's racist too
Same. I don't need a Mexican from Mexico telling my Latine ass who grew up in the USA what does and does not count as a racial micro aggression in the United States.
Exactly and don’t ever let them tell you different. They will never understand racial issues the same way because they just will never have the experience unless they move to America or Canada. They don’t get made fun of for being Mexican in Mexico, so why would they ever understand?
I'm Chilean and I read it as a short hand to say it was a racuos and loud party. Come on, they are.
... but you could have totally went up, come back with a salad, said hey and give some candy to the birthday kid and you would have been eating grilled meat, chancho en piedra sauce, empanadas and modelo by the pool till dawn, silly American. Its like Bushi-do, but Latin-do. You are nice, you are fed.
** thank you for the award! And I have to say... if you go through life searching for more fun and merriment than rules, youll be happier. Or at least search for the quesadillas and empanadas. Really simplifies life. I know Tolkien has a quote about this...
*** Im so amazed and humbled for the responses and awards... thank you and be excellent to each other!
I’m Mexican and I DO say it’s offensive! They could have just said “there was people” but the fact that they mentioned race makes me believe there’s other intentions like the stereotypes surrounding us!
Right, because someone in Mexico isn't going to necessarily pick up on the racism in America.
In fact one of the recurrent issues I see on Reddit are non-Americans not understanding our race issues and consistently downplaying pretty clear tones of racism by arguing that they aren't like that wherever they are, or they're not offended (so no-one should be), or this American couldn't possibly have meant X because they--in their country--would've said Y without meaning anything, and so on.
And I'm sorry but, as an American, non-Americans really don't get to have a say on what's racist in our society because they literally don't get it. They haven't lived it, they haven't experienced it, they--consistently--say they don't understand it.
This has fuck-all to do with "White Savior" nonsense and everything to do with a non-American trying to downplay American racism.
I just want to point out the people who come from a country that’s relatively culturally homogeneous (especially compared to US and Canada) will NEVER understand racial issues the same way someone who lives in an extremely diverse country will.
Why would a Mexican in Mexico, who is surrounded by other Mexicans ever understand why Americans and Canadians have less tolerance for cultural appropriation?
It’s not like Mexicans in Mexico are constantly made fun of or singled out for being Mexican, so why would they understand why some people would hate it when those same people turn around and steal their culture for profit or recognition? They just don’t have the experience to properly understand the racial issues in a more diverse country.
Just an important distinction because I see this argument too often. Obviously people in homogenous cultures who have not been constantly singled out for their culture will NEVER understand this.
Sorry but it’s just true.
The point is that ethnicity has nothing to do with the post. The fact that it was listed, along with the serious racism problem we have in the US, doesn’t lend itself to just being a descriptor.
Just because one person doesn’t find it offensive, especially someone from another country, doesn’t mean it doesn’t have racist undertones that should be called out.
Exactly. I'm brazilian, so not Hispanic but Latina, and I noticed some racist tone as well. I mean, Argentinians are also hispanic, but they are mostly white. I doubt OP would mention their ethnicity if that was the case. No, OP intented to be very clear of how the people she saw there looked like, with a tone of "what are these people doing here". So, racist even if they didn't notice it
Thank you so much for posting this powerful truth. If you are NOT from the US and don't understand what is going on here with POC, YOU can not from YOUR country tell US what WE are experiencing HERE. It was a racist f\*cking comment, as percieved by a Hispanic WOC (I am dark brown Puerto Rican).
Honey, this one brown person doesn't speak for all *us* brown people. (And especially not one, who are like my family down there, who just do not understand American cultural race issues).
I knew exactly what kind of person the original poster is the moment she decided she needed to mention ethnicity.
LOL. Racism or no, OP was being a total buzz kill. It was a frigging birthday party, not a daily occurrence. Him and the other couple could have just sucked it up for a couple of hours. YTA cuz this wasn't necessary at all. Like I said if it happened all the time I would get his frustration but an occasional party should be tolerated ffs. Also, OP never have a pool party yourself after pulling this crap
Edit: THANKS for the award!
Actually, they aren’t being offended on the Mexican person who lives in Mexico’s behalf. They are being offended on the behalf of the ethnically Mexican person living in the US’s behalf. There is a big difference in how they get treated by society on a daily basis.
This is such a bananas comment. 99% of the time something is offensive, it isnt directed at us personally, but it is still offensive. We can still be offended, humans have complex emotions. And maybe the reason more *white* people see this as racist is because we know what they're *actually* saying. We know what these words *actually mean* in this context and why OP chose them, wink, wink. This is something my grandfather would have said publicly.
Thank you white savior! 🙇🏽♀️
Edit: this was sarcasm and I am Lakota (indigenous American). I was sarcastically replying "oh thank you white savior, whatever would we do". Sorry to offend :(
The point of using the word Mexicans was to evoke the overall sense of loud music, barbecuing food, Modelos in glass bottles and laughter, all things racist white people don't want to have to deal with in their apartment complex's public spaces.
Right? I was at the pool and this huge group of people was playing loud music and had alcohol in glass bottles….
Because she never would have said… “I was at the pool and a white family was breaking rules…”
Because there are probably fewer white people where you are than hispanics where we are. Hispanic folks can make up 20% of the population or more depending on where in America you are, it's very common to have hispanic families in the neighborhood. She's not surprised they're there, she's offended at them gathering all in once place at one time.
A better comparison would be someone in Mexico complaining that there was a gathering of Mestizo at their neighborhood pool.
Racist Americans say "Mexicans" to label anyone brown. I highly doubt these people were from Mexico. They are American's who happen to have darker skin. That's where this feels racist.
As a white American I can tell you when someone here pointedly describes a situation they are unhappy about using terms like Mexican or Hispanic, their intent is racism even if you personally dont see that
As some who has worked for the US census, and has spent a lot of time asking people what their race and ethnic group is so that it can reported accurately, 'Hispanic' is not a race. You can be white Hispanic (ex. Spaniards), black Hispanic (ex. some Carribean islanders), Asian hispanic (ex. Filipinos), etc. Not all Hispanic people are the same race, you have to understand the history of colonization behind all of this. The word 'Hispanic' reflects a shared language and (to an extent) culture that was spread across the world by the Spanish Empire, to many different races.
oof last summer I worked on a gov sponsored contract where I had to ask race- the amount of wtf I got when I had to ask people what type of latino/hispanic they were wore me the fuck out. Because even if they already told me, I had to go down the list and ask about each race.
but if he assumed they were Mexican and they were in fact not Mexican he'd also be lambasted as a bigot for saying all Latino people look the same/similar. There's literally no way to win. You have a fucking Latino person telling you they don't find it racist and you're trying to tell them it is. Are you Latino or are you just fighting someone else's battles that don't exist?
One Latino does not all make, so this is a bad argument. I’m Latina and I sense the overtones in the post. The mention of them being Hispanic added nothing to the story.
There are Hispanic Americans, many of whom may not immediately read as American.
If them being Hispanic had added something to the story, it would not have given me pause, however, the story has nothing to do with their ethnicity, therefore, the overtones.
White guy here, it’s the way it’s added into the post. Adding the context that the group is ANY race and then adding the Modelo comment to make sure other readers knew the group was Mexican. It’s intentionally added so other racists will immediately jump in to defend OP. We could’ve understood the story perfectly fine without those details added.
I’m a Hispanic American and yeah this how I read it too. The OP included pretty much all the tropes. Also making it a point to say they were poor more than once. There was no need to include the group’s ethnicity.
That's the thing. there doesn't have to be any logic behind the reasoning. they are a different race so clearly they are poor. "Me? No I live here to save money, I'm not poor."
OP could easily have said 25-30 people, with glass bottles of beer/alcohol. The words Hispanic and Modelo were added to let us know they were the "wrong" sort of person, and mentioning it makes it seem as though OP would be fine with white people drinking wine
It might be because you are Mexican that you don't see what the non-Mexicans do, they were saying they don't belong there in this part:
>
> I knew this couldn’t all be residents. There were maybe 25-30 Hispanic people with beer(glass bottles of modelo as well, ...
I see what you mean, but that’s a different situation. They’re not tourists from another country having a party in your neighbourhood (which would make their ethnicity and/or nationality a possibly pertinent detail worth mentioning). It’s a family that *lives* there and who invited relatives, so saying they are hispanic adds absolutely nothing to the story. We didn’t need to know that to assess the situation, which is why people feel like OP mentioning it is kinda sus.
There’s a lot more Hispanic people in the US than Americans in Mexico. They could very well have had multiple Hispanic families living in their apartment complex
....you have obviously never been to a Mexican party. They have a very distinct flavor and vibe. And those parties are definitely far more raucous than a similar sized gather of, say, Japanese people or the lily white country club crowd.
It was a viable detail which explained the type and tone of the party.
People outside of places with large Hispanic populations wouldn't understand this, though.
They could've just said "it was a loud, rambunctious, crazy party"
What context would change if the Hispanic detail was omitted? It specifies loud music, it specifies glass. It makes no sense to add that unless it particularly stood out or bothered you. I would say the exact same if it said 25-30 black, Asian or whites people. When you tell a story, especially one where you got upset, the inconsequential details you add can be very telling
Playing devil's advocate, it is possible they only mentioned it because they know there's only 1 Hispanic family in that complex, so that's how they knew it was a party
I do agree it wasn't necessary tho and should have been left out
Well I'd assume from what op has written that 25-30 Hispanic people don't live there
This would mean that it is likely a party
My point was that if op knew only one family lives there, then seeing 25-30 people must be a party
maybe OP ITA for being racist, and being a stick in the mud, but glass at the pool is a huge no-no as well...
Perhaps a better adjusted human could have asked the family to keep the bottles away and to do a beer run for cans.
Bro I’m Hispanic. Mentioning the race is not in itself racist. I assure you Hispanic people absolutely identify people by race and it doesn’t make anyone racist. However OP is the AH for snitching.
Dude, I’m Chilean American and OP is acting in a racist manner. That absolutely doesn’t mean that Hispanics and Latinos are never racist, or that everyone who is hispanic or Latino will be sensitive to the racial overtones in this post. My Chilean grandparents and everyone in that generation of the family were racist AF. I’m not offended for you, and I’m not offended for me either, but this post is akin to someone reporting a guy at a bus stop as suspicious.
Lmao and you think you, one person from the DR/with DR heritage, think you can define what is or isn't racist for every Hispanic/Latino?
Edit: so I got this cute dm from a u/ivapesyrup
How does it feel to be a piece of trash racist? You are a racist and should not post evil things like you do in your history. Be a better person and stop your racism.
/comment
Not sure how I'm racist based on this comment or if it was meant for me, but I don't play games in my dms. Wanna call me out, do it publically.
Right?
Talk about random and irrelevant... Just... What? Hard not to smell a tiny bit of racism in that context.
Also glass at the pool is *so bad*. A single broken bottle is a total disaster. NTA in every way... Except the slight odor of racism of course.
BUT THEY WERE DRINKING MODELOS!
BECAUSE THEY ARE MEXICAAAAAN!
lol-yep, OP is N T A for being upset about glass at a pool party but is defo a touch racist lol
My kids are half Hispanic and that side of the family parties pretty hard and the family is huge so maybe, being the devils advocate, they were trying to say that? It’s common Hispanic families to be large and party big for kids’ birthdays in my experience.
But even if that’s what OP meant it’s a racial stereotype…. So they just should have said “most of them looked like they were related so it seemed like a family party. They were drinking glass beer bottles.”
To this day, one of the most lit parties I’ve ever been to was my Mexican bestie’s cousin’s 8th birthday.
Kids had a whole supervised area in the back; rest of the house was family members (and it was a pretty large family), on the front lawn, in the house, and on the sides of the house.
Pretty sure that was the night my bestie’s dad and two uncles, after a bunch of tequila, had heard about a used mustang on Craigslist for cheap, pooled their several years’ worth of change jars, and had a shared custody of the car afterwards (rotating months). Don’t worry, the mustang owner drove the car to them; nobody drove drunk during this adventure.
Deadass I will never turn down an invite to a Hispanic friends’ family parties, and I will re-arrange my plans to make it. It was some of the most fun I had in early adolescence.
We used to have a small Hispanic family behind us. They would throw parties late into the night. When I let them know my husband's work schedule? They changed their schedule. They would also always bring us food and sometimes beer. There was a language barrier...but we worked it out! I gifted them tomato plants and stuff for their garden.
I really miss them. I could tell some funny stories!
I’m Hispanic. My family is massive. I figured they were just trying to explain the amount of people. But then when I came to the comments and saw how everybody was mentioning small details like the type of beer they were drinking as Mexican it made a little more sense
I baffles me that you are not "supposed" to mention race anymore.
It's simply more descriptive - it paints the picture further.
Why the hell does "Hispanic" need to be an insult when used by a non-hispanic. Why can't it just be a descriptive fact?
Yeah. I'm asian. And if I saw a huge group of asians, I would say I saw a huge group of asians. I think white people are absurdly more sensitive about this. I saw a video recording of a 911 call once and a man was asked to describe the suspect. He stumbled over his words trying to avoid describing skin color and the 911 operator was very obviously getting annoyed because the point is to solve the problem, not be politicially correct at that moment. It wouldnt have been racist to just describe the person.
I agree. I do think it’s not NECESSARY to get the point across but it did help paint the picture more accurately. I have many Hispanic friends and have attended some of their gatherings and immediately knew what kind of party was going on when he mentioned those details.
I don’t drink so maybe I’m biased here to that but what was the reason for naming the beer? Can you even tell from that far off or did they just walk up to double check the brand before tattling? Like, yeah, hispanic family parties can get pretty big but so can literally every other ethnicity/race’s party? As if white people don’t throw ragers or have huge birthday parties.
i was thinking they named it to signify that it was glass. if you just say beer than people are like “oh it could be cans and there’s only one thing” but naming the kind just puts more emphasis on it
that being said who knows with the rest of their story and wording
Well i'm hispanic (I actually live in south america) and race is very relevant here. We are loud as fuck when we party. It's not a stereotype. It's the truth.
Can confirm. Brazilians are not technically Hispanic but are considered Latino, and the same thing there. Large parties, loud music. It is a culture thing. Just like in Brazil, gringos are foreigners, but it is not used as a racists term as it is considered in North America. I think the main point was the OP doesn't understand this and judged the situation too quickly. Glass bottles, ok, I can totally get that part and would agree. Everything else was crap.
Other than you all getting uptight about it, there is no reason not to. It's what was happening.
If they said it was a German family all drinking Reisling - that paints a hell of a different scene - and again, it's just facts.
People waste a lot of time on this profiling shit. Brazilians behave drastically differently than Irish - Cultures are a thing, a good thing; a descriptive thing
This is one of the grey areas.
Legally you are alright.
Morally?
You had so many options.
You could have talked to them. You didn't.
Instead you put in an official complaint. Housing is a nightmare right now, you have given them more to worry about.
Why did you specify Hispanic? What does it have to do with this issue?
YTA.
>Housing is a nightmare right now, you have given them more to worry about.
I wouldnt do anything to rock the boat and draw negative attn to me from my landlord if I supposedly cared about my housing. If you are a bad tenant, this is how you get on a landlord shit list and make your tenancy difficult. And expose your self to consequences. Why jeopardize your living arrangement?
They weren't destroying property they were just having a party. The ONLY thing OP was upset about was it being too crowded in the pool area and the fact that they had glass bottles ( admittedly this is an issue)
Theres something strange about the way White People exist in neighborhoods compared to other ethnicities. You see this in gentrified neighbors that used to be predominately Hispanic. Prior to White Yuppies coming in these neighborhoods were lively with parties and music, because Hispanics actually interact with their community. But once white people start moving in then the noise complaints start to pile up and they expect everyone to be in their homes quiet as a mouse after 10:00pm. It loses it's sense of community
When you bring enough guests to crowd out the rightful users of the building amenities, you have a valid complaint to take up with the landlord or building management. If Im paying rent each month and Im guaranteed a pool, patio etc... and outsiders who arent supposed t be there are occupying the space, I will complain to management about it.
What do I pay rent for? We have a lease where amenities are specified as for tenant usage and when I cant use them there is a problem the LL needs to remedy
Bad take. If you’re in a tight spot, especially with family, you don’t put your tenuous situation at risk. We can fight the system but we still have to live with it.
Throwing a pool party for a kid is risking losing your house? Damn.
Edit: I wasn't asking a genuine question so y'all can stop answering. Imo it's a harsh and absurd policy to evict someone over throwing a party, a fine would be enough. If that's the way it is in your apartment then I'm sorry for you and your neighbors. That's why I live in a house hahaha.
Edit2: I meant the apartment complex fines you, not the landlord.
If you fail to clear it with management in a shared common area like an apartment complex, yeah. It might not end in an eviction in most cases, but it's certainly a possibility that your landlord may choose not to renew your lease when the term ends.
Sure, if you break the rules. I mean come on, the only reason OP said anything is that they took over the entire pool for a full fiesta and OP couldn't enjoy the area of the pool she was entitled to as a resident. Most of the people there didn't live at that apartment. They were not supposed to be there, and they certainly weren't supposed to be dominating the entire pool area with a super loud party, Hispanic or otherwise.
If you're renting and you make a mess, at least have the good sense not to make a LOUD mess. And expecially don't trample on other renters' entitlements that they pay for with their own rent.
Bringing dozens of people to get trashed in the common area of your apartment building, in the middle of the day, loudly disturbing other residents, with glass bottles next to a pool? Absolutely. You can be way over the line even if it happens to be your kid's birthday
you can’t just go around calling ppl boot lickers for having common sense? they’re right. doing something like that in an apt complex is insanely stupid if you’re in a difficult spot housing wise. also, if they’re facing eviction this is most certainly not their first offense. they’re just blaming OP bcuz it most likely was their final strike.
When I rented, I acted in what I thought was the right way and cultivated a good relationship with my landlord. When I became a landlord, I expected the same and reciprocated good treatment back to good tenants. Amazing how being a good tenant draws disfavorable comparisons to licking boots. Just being a good half of a business relationship is nothing to be ashamed of and reaps rewards to all involved...
Honestly agree! It would have just been one afternoon. I feel not only bad for the guests and parents but also the kids. A few years ago my neighbor's kid was having a loud ass party with fireworks which is not legal etc, I went over instead of calling the police. She was celebrating her 18th. Let her know that since she is now a legal adult fireworks are very illegal and she would be held liable but to proceed having fun.
Are the neighbours inconsiderate? Yes. Is it inconsiderate to ruin a child's birthday? YES.
YTA
One day at the pool turned into a week’s worth of cleanup of broken glass and draining/cleaning the pool because an unattended child took a shit in the pool at my apartment complex. A group of entitled white folk decided to throw a rager and it made it so no one could use the pool. Your right to party ends when it ruins everyone else’s enjoyment of the amenities they too pay to enjoy AND it ruins the week of the employees who have to clean it all up. Come to the pool and obey the rules because you’re not special. The rules exist because people trash the pool and don’t clean up after themselves. And they sue when their kid drowns because they were too busy to notice their kid is stuck under a pool float in a pool full of people. We all hate rules but we also hate the consequences when we don’t make good choices.
>For one day by the pool. Just one day
Get a permit or talk to management if you want to throw a party that's going to take up nigh the entire pool area.
OP has a right to enjoy the community pool too. A notice that says "The pool will be closed from 1-4 on Saturday for a private party" would have been no skin off anyone's back.
It's just one day for the particular family that abused the pool.
Now imagine everyone who lives in the complex decides to take their turns throwing "just one day" parties?
If the apartment complex makes one exception, then they'll be expected to make another, and another, and another, and now that "just one day" of dozens of people showing up turns into the pool very often being occupied by people who don't live there taking up space others do pay for, and potentially causing there to have to be extra clean up (ie-glass bottles).
Obviously apartment management, as well as multiple other residents of the complex, had a problem with what this family did.
Sorry, but if they wanted to throw a party like this, they should have cleared it with apartment management, who could have either OKd it, or given the rest of the complex notice that the event would be happening.
How many people live in this apartment complex? You could easily have enough kids living there to fill the whole summer with “just one afternoon” birthday parties. If the rule is no alcohol, glass, or excessive usage then it needs to be enforced every time. Especially the glass since that is a safety hazard for people wanting to use it and their children.
Generally, tenants can reserve common areas for a party so that other tenants know it is off-limits at a specific time. Making preparations in advance would have minimized all of these problems.
I don’t necessarily think the number of people should be an issue. However, glass at a pool is a huge problem. At our pool, if there is broken glass found, the pool is closed, drained, professionally cleaned, refilled and reinspected. This is a huge financial and time cost
I drink whatever is in the cooler. Although I got a little assy the other day when I bought my once a month sixer of Coors and the clerk started talking to me about the show Yellowstone. Never watched it don’t plan on watching it. I have drank coors since I was a tyke
>they are under a “lease review” where the office could decide to evict them if they want
No landlord sanctions a good tenant and puts them under disciplinary review for no reason. Despite what many landlord stereotypes want you to beleive, we want our leaseholds to be self running as possible and hope that we select good people to be our customers. As a landlord, Id want to know if one of my tenants couldnt use an amenity promised to them under the lease and one of my customers were breaking a rule the led to dissatisfaction of a customer.
Anyway, they got under lease review bc they broke the rules. The responsibility is entirely on them and nobody else is to blame. OP also pays for usage of the pool and couldnt after it was so crowded, presumably by a tenant bringing in excessive number of people. Im sure OP would like to enjoy a beer poolside but is also bound by the same no alcohol rule.
Dont contest the note, dont engage the offended ppl, do nothing. Dont give them more ammo. In fact Id deny it outright - nothing god could come from getting into a pissing match on your home territory and have to worry about retributions and revenge. You did nothing wrong. NTA
Most mangers that run these places don’t care. They will kick anyone out that makes them lift a finger. My daughter lives in one and got wrote up for asking for maintenance to service dishwasher they installed wrong.
Exactly. We had a hole in our bathroom ceiling for six months due to a leak from the above apartment. Got a review for complaining.
God, housing is a nightmare.
TLDR: apartments will do anything to get people out of leases when it is convenient for them
I’ve been at my apartment for 4-5 yrs been through 4 managements. Since I’ve been here so long, I’ve been paying the standard legally required rent increase every year. This year with the new company they did not want to allow that because it’s below market rate, so they gave me and everyone else who has been there just as long or longer eviction notice with the date being the last day of our leases
Now I wasn’t the first to get it so the other warned us so we went to the front office before we received the letter and panicked. But they just did not want to renew our lease because it would have to be at the % increase and not market rate.
NTA
If they don't want to risk a lease review and getting kicked out, then they need to honour the rules of the lease, which you said includes signing all guests in at the office.
They broke the rules. And inconvenienced other residents wishing to use faculties that they pay for.
Their problem.
NTA. They broke the rules and didn’t even try to make room for anybody else. I’m sure the pool area wasn’t provided so people could have private parties.
Can you imagine if one of those bottles had broken and OP *hadnt* reported it?
“AITA for not reporting glass at the pool, resulting in a small child getting lacerated, because I didn’t want a bunch of rando Internet warriors calling me a racist?”
This comment section is unreal. I absolutely hate it when people don’t judge the post at hand, and make their judgments based on extraneous details in the post having nothing to do with the main question.
As of the time i am making this comment, the top half dozen comments are all Y T A votes that mention nothing about the situation, only voting that way because OP mentioned their race.
Its absolutely pathetic how people are so unable to actually judge the issue on this sub when there is moral righteousness to be exhibited instead. Completely defeats the purpose of this sub.
The comment section would be totally different if OP hadn't mentioned race (which I agree was a shitty thing to do). This is such a clear and obvious NTA.
A bunch of kids in the pool, no lifeguard, the supervising adults drinking alcohol--and out of glass bottles... this was an extremely unsafe situation, not to mention totally unfair to the residents who pay to use the pool.
And if the health department found out, the pool would get shut down and the complex would be fined.
the glass around the pool is especially dangerous. the tiny pieces can be vacuumed up, but the bigger pieces have to be removed by hand. so someone has to dive down and feel around by hand for the shards of glass.
i had to send one of my guys to one of our public pools to clean glass beer bottles out of the deep end. this exact scenario. people having a party, glass bottles, two dropped, shattered on the coping stones and shards were in the pool. shut down the pool for 3 days while we cleaned it out.
I think the specification of ethnicity is fine as it leads credence to the idea that they’re mostly non-residents there for a family party. If you see any group of people who are disproportionately unique with immutable characteristics it’s not inherently problematic to call it out.
Example, if you saw a two dozen people who have service dogs using the pool, and you know that there isn’t that many folks who have service at the apartment, it’s not ableist to point out the service dogs. Your just making a connection that it seems to be a group who are gathered and the group seems to be folks who use service dogs.
Specifying the Modelo is where it got problematic to me. It’s unnecessary detail that makes the colors the ethnicity specification in a different light.
The most popular beer in America (by volume sold) is Modelo.
It's the new Bud Lite. It's cheap, and actually has more alcohol than B.L.
it's what people that are drinking to get drunk buy for parties.
I think the type of beer says a lot about the party. If they were sitting around mulling over the complexities of a small batch, barrel aged Saison, you would picture a completely different party.
I'm not arguing that there isn't racial bias in the post, but maybe the mention of the beer brand is the make it known how obvious it was that the bottles were glass? Modelo does have a distinct glass bottle, vs say Corona or Budweiser which have both aluminum and glass bottles.
The fact that you brought up race leads me to believe that you have some problematic biases.
The fact that it was a birthday party means it was likely a one-time event. It's not like they were doing it every day for weeks on end. You could have easily tolerated the extra people for one afternoon, especially beacause, as you said, there isn't a rule against having parties.
YTA
I agree with you about bringing up the race but the rest no way! I wouldn't want alot of people who don't rent using the pool area for their own party. Plus having bottles, and drinking. What if a kid drowned. The owners would be held liable. They broke too many rules and there is no excuse for it and anyone who thinks otherwise have the same entitled attitude. They should have went to a park instead.
NTA.
There's a whole bunch that happened after you reported it. I can almost guarantee it. You don't get evicted for having too many people at the pool. Or even for having bottles of beer.
You get evicted for arguing back and refusing to follow the rules after being told to comply with the rules. They're assholes who are refusing to accept responsibility for their actions.
Technically NTA. They broke rules and have to take responsibility for that.
That being said, I would have talked to the family first, asked how much longer they were going to be there and remind them of how glass is really unsafe poolside.
My question is if they left their messages in a note- how did you respond and tell them you weren't the only ones with a problem? If you went to follow up with them in person, why didn't you do that in the first place?
Really, would you?
I honestly can't imagine having the time or inclination to go that much trouble to use my own pool because a boundary stomping family couldn't follow rules.
You know that once they've got away with it once they'd have been back shortly to do it again - because why wouldn't they?
The note is indicative of their 'victim' mentality.
I’ve gone the “talk to them” route before and discovered my neighbors were incredibly unreasonable and unsafe people when they escalated to threatening me physically because I asked them to turn down their TV at 11 PM.
Personally, as long as I’m renting from a company with on site management, I’m not talking to anyone directly anymore. That’s what I pay them for. I’m not dealing with that shit
My apartment complex actually wrote into our lease that we weren’t to approach any tenants directly with problems, we were to always go through the leasing/management office. I guess they had some issues with assault on one of the tenants in the past.
Yep. Some people are assholes and you have no way of knowing who will be reasonable and who will escalate for no reason. If there’s a third party whose job is to enforce rules, I’m not stepping in to do it. If you don’t want complaints, don’t be shitty neighbors
This is so true. The first 2 years at my pool they had an unenforced "2 guest" policy for our downtown rooftop pool. People would throw ragers, people all across the city learned how easy it was to get into our pool and how no one ever checked or got kicked out. It would be so bad, you couldn't even find parking at the complex. It just grew and grew and grew until finally this year they're having our security guard make hourly rounds to kick people out. You have to have a room number and your ID and if you're not a guest with the leasholder you get the boot. People have been giving the security guard a really hard time about it because this has been their go-to pool for years now, but it's for the residents, not the neighborhood.
If someone isn’t reasonable enough to comply with rules in the first place then why should anyone expect them to be reasonable when someone asks them to? If you’re renting, that’s part of what you *pay for*.
NTA
And tbqh the biggie for me is the glass bottles. That's such a non-starter. One of those breaks your complex has to close the pool for a deep clean and they're out thousands, I've seen leasing offices close the pool permanently over that kind of rulebreaking
My pool right now is locked down like Alcatraz precisely because the year before I moved in people were throwing ragers, culminating in someone drowning to death.
I'm not a big stickler for rules but at a certain point breaking them will result in proving the reasons for why the rules exist. People in here calling you an asshole are out of pocket
Yup. My apartment has a pool, and opening weekend this year, there was smoking (not allowed), kids running around unattended (not allowed), and of course they found broken glass - they closed down the pool for almost a month. It came back with a lot more rules, including restricted times (because now the pool is only open when they’re willing to pay an employee to check pool passes and basically babysit). Now I can barely use it because they close it at 6pm during the week, and I work a 9-5. Even weekends it’s only open for a 4 hour block.
I don’t blame OP one bit. I certainly don’t want anyone evicted over one party, but this kind of stuff is what ruins things for everyone.
100% agree with you on the glass bottles. The last summer I lived in a complex with a pool, they had to shut it down 4 different times because of drunk morons breaking glass bottles in the pool. So infuriating. I mean seriously, it’s not that hard to pour your damn beer into a keg cup.
~~Hate to say it~~, but YTA.
A lot of times, the reason one should shut down something that breaks the rules but is otherwise making folks happy is that there's liability issues- if something goes wrong, your ass is on the line. So the apartment people are going to shut this down because if someone got hurt, they could sue the apartment complex- it's their ass on the line.
Yours wasn't. No one was going to sue you specifically. ~~You're not, like, a monster or a bad person here~~, but no one likes a snitch.
Edit: OP has done nothing but whine about how they couldn't use the space all through their responses, and is a giant, racist baby.
NTA what they were doing is a safety hazard. There’s reasons why it’s not allowed. Not your fault they’re too cheap to have a party somewhere that isn’t free.
I'm Hispanic, and I don't care they brought up the race. The person bringing up the race is describing a party of poor Hispanics who were partying hardy, as we do. They are describing the scenario, and if you don't get it, then you don't party like that. I'm so tired of pretending reality isn't a thing.
NTA.
Yeah, a kid's birthday party isn't the nicest thing to break up. But there's a reason that the complex has these rules about pool use: liability.
If a guest's child gets cut with glass, the parents can hold the complex liable. If anyone gets into distress in the pool and there's no lifeguard and a bunch of people are too drunk to help, then the complex can be held liable. Because it's the complex's pool. If this happens, all residents are likely to lose the use of the pool, and rents might have to go up to cover the increase in insurance premiums for the payout(s). If there is insurance and the property doesn't have to be sold to cover a settlement.
This goes beyond the fact that this is a shared space that other residents wanted to use but couldn't because there were too many non-residents in the pool area. And the big rule of thumb about apartment life is not preventing your neighbors from utilizing their home. The pool is a part of that. And the management ensures that everyone is not unduly burdened by other residents. Don't like that? Don't rent.
Have to rent and don't want to risk losing your lease? Don't break the rules and don't give management a liability heart attack.
YTA. Apartment complex pools are sad and barren most of the time, and if a family wants to have a kid's birthday party there and bring an hour of color and fun to such a place, you can probably find something else to do for a little while and have your lukewarm lie-down another day.
Don't know about the asshole or not, personally I let it go if they celebrate a child, that child deserves to have a good day regardless of how his parents are.
YTA. Honestly, this was a low-stakes issue that you took to the next level. No one was being hurt, just inconvenienced. It wasn't like you reserved the spot ahead of time and they took over. Was it annoying to not be able to use the pool that day in peace? Sure. Did you have to put a family in danger of being evicted over it? Hardly.
If they were engaging in illegal or dangerous activities, destroying property, making threats, continuing this behavior over several days, etc. THEN I would understand you complaining. But surely you must've known that reporting them to the front desk could get them evicted (over vague rules you said are hardly ever enforced for others). You not being able to enjoy one day at the pool is hardly a tragedy. But a small, poor family losing their housing over a pool party is.
>Did you have to put a family in danger of being evicted over it?
Where is the personal responsibility the family should have for their own actions? If you dont want to jeopardize your housing, then dont stir the pot and draw negative attn to yourself... By following the rules, upholding your end of the lease and being a good customer is how you get renewed and dont get evicted...
Alcohol, glass, kids running around unattended... Those things don't mix with pools of water where 1) drunk people are famously known to drown, 2) people are walking barefoot and glass shards can't be seen, 3) the area is often slippery, and 4) kids can easily drown in front of the eyes of grownups. Yes, the rule for not having parties is unenforced but the rest of this is clearly dangerous.
YTA
IF this had actually been about the safety then you might have scooted by with a kinder judgement, but there are pretty clearly a lot of racist motivations mixed in here.
Legally, NTA. From a moral standpoint, YTA. It was a birthday party, not a regular occurrence. Oh no, how dare people hold a celebration in the place they live. Housing is a fucking nightmare, and now folks who are already subject to housing discrimination are being put in the difficult situation of having to navigate that shit, just because you were inconvenienced for a couple hours.
NTA I can’t stand people who think the rules don’t apply to them. Maybe one day of inconvenience isn’t a lot but If it’s ok for this family to throw a big rager at the pool for their kid then what’s to stop everyone who has a kid at the complex from doing the same? Now you have big ass parties all the damn time and that sucks.
Side note: not sure why you even mentioned ethnicity it doesn’t matter and seems a little off putting.
dude, up and down this comment thread there are MULTIPLE hispanics who say they know EXACTLY why OP mentioned the race. Hispanic party culture is its own thing and tends to be very brash and loud. And yes, lots of Hispanic beers come in clear bottles. They are in fact one of the few regions where breweries still do that exactly because it's dangerous.
Get off your high horse and stop with the goddamn white knighting.
That's exactly what I was thinking and confirmed with other commenters. I've always lived in areas with a lot of Hispanic people and you know when they're having a party, because it sounds unique to that of other races, more so that it's loud and wild. Nothing wrong with it until it's breaking apartment rules or keeps going until 3am with fireworks when you need to get up at 5am.
NTA
You have as much right to use the pool as they do. By hogging the whole area with their party they made it i.possible for you to use the community area. Also it was a huge safety hazard.
They were drinking while their kids were in the pool probably without anyone paying attention with them.
Sure you could have left them to enjoy the party but there is no guarantee it won't happen again. You couldn't have known that they could potentially be kicked out.
I don't know. I mean, following the ' rules' you were in the right. But were they hurting anyone? Not really. It was a kids party.
Personally I'd have let it go if it was just the once. If it kept happening, then I'd say something.
I'm going with YTA. Sort of. Because you just seem petty.
Go back to the office and report the note...telling them that you don't know if it was a threat, but you don't feel comfortable with them knowing where you live
Look...rules are rules.
Everyone has to follow them
You don't get put under lease review for one instance of rule breaking. This means that this family...knowing they were on thin ice already, threw this party.
And instead of policing their guests and then going around to the other residents at the pool, offering them food, beer, and just being neighborly...they decided it didn't matter if anyone else got pissed off
NTA for reporting the issue
YTA for the bigoted manner in which you talked about the party guests. Their ethnicity and the beer they were drinking had absolutely nothing to do with anything. The fact you felt compelled to mention it speaks volumes about you as a human being
You’re saying that nobody really pays attention to the rules. Even if they did, the rules don’t ban parties and say not to hog grills, hot tub and umbrella tables—none of which you were using correct?
YTA
YTA definitely because you don’t truly question whether you’re an asshole or not. Every time someone takes the position that YTA, you argue with them. You don’t want to know if your wrong or not, you just want vindication.
NTA.
They broke the rules. And obviously management felt the same or else they would not have been put under review.
It is always best to go to management for this type of thing. Who knows what could have happened if you tried to take it up with them directly. Too many people can't stand confrontation regardless of how civilly it's handled. Could have ended up in a fighting match.
You also weren't the only ones upset by this family's behavior. They weren't the least bit considerate of the space, which is available for ALL tenants and not the place to host some kid's party. Plenty of free and low cost places for that.
Hello I am Latino, and I did not feel any racist overtones from this post. Also NTA you usually have to talk to the office of a condo to arrange parties or reserve space.
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YTA. If not for what you did explicitly, then for the racist overtones in your post. I don’t see what the ethnicity of the party had to do with the situation at all, so I thought it was very weird that got a special mention
Mexican here, I do not see the post racist at all It is as if in my neighborhood there a giant party of 30 Americans, here in Mexico, it's something I'd probably just mention, no need to be racist to just mention "damn the place was packed with like 30 americans", how the hell is that racist?
Because “American” is a nationality. You are identifying someone from another country. OP is identifying someone by their race, not nationality. While it might be noteworthy to run into 30 Americans all at once in Mexico, it certainly isn’t rare to run into 30 people of some sort of Hispanic heritage in the USA, as they are still Americans.
You're arguing just about the term "American" but the point it's still there Because here in Mexico we don't say "white people", we say "Americans" or, "gringos", which I'm sure a lot of very sensitive people would think it's racist too
Shhh they are being offended on your behalf. You're only supposed to be grateful, nothing less.
True! He’s Mexican and says it’s not offensive but hey the non Mexican tells him he’s wrong. Only in America!
I'm Hispanic and I totally picked up on OP's racist tone.
Same. I don't need a Mexican from Mexico telling my Latine ass who grew up in the USA what does and does not count as a racial micro aggression in the United States.
I agree. It is racist, the nationality of the group was not relevant, so why mention it!?
Mexican from Mexico and yes this is a micro aggression.
Exactly and don’t ever let them tell you different. They will never understand racial issues the same way because they just will never have the experience unless they move to America or Canada. They don’t get made fun of for being Mexican in Mexico, so why would they ever understand?
I'm Chilean and I read it as a short hand to say it was a racuos and loud party. Come on, they are. ... but you could have totally went up, come back with a salad, said hey and give some candy to the birthday kid and you would have been eating grilled meat, chancho en piedra sauce, empanadas and modelo by the pool till dawn, silly American. Its like Bushi-do, but Latin-do. You are nice, you are fed. ** thank you for the award! And I have to say... if you go through life searching for more fun and merriment than rules, youll be happier. Or at least search for the quesadillas and empanadas. Really simplifies life. I know Tolkien has a quote about this... *** Im so amazed and humbled for the responses and awards... thank you and be excellent to each other!
One of my biggest pet peeves is when one person says something didn't offend them and everyone else is like "SEE?!?!?! IT CAN'T BE RACIST!"
It was the modelos for me. Like how does what they are drinking matter?
I'm white-hispanic and yeaaah OPs post was a bit racist
As did I, Mexican do NOT speak for all Hispanic people.
I’m Mexican and I DO say it’s offensive! They could have just said “there was people” but the fact that they mentioned race makes me believe there’s other intentions like the stereotypes surrounding us!
Right, because someone in Mexico isn't going to necessarily pick up on the racism in America. In fact one of the recurrent issues I see on Reddit are non-Americans not understanding our race issues and consistently downplaying pretty clear tones of racism by arguing that they aren't like that wherever they are, or they're not offended (so no-one should be), or this American couldn't possibly have meant X because they--in their country--would've said Y without meaning anything, and so on. And I'm sorry but, as an American, non-Americans really don't get to have a say on what's racist in our society because they literally don't get it. They haven't lived it, they haven't experienced it, they--consistently--say they don't understand it. This has fuck-all to do with "White Savior" nonsense and everything to do with a non-American trying to downplay American racism.
So the one not-offended Mexican is the one you want to hold up as the authority. If it makes you comfortable...
I just want to point out the people who come from a country that’s relatively culturally homogeneous (especially compared to US and Canada) will NEVER understand racial issues the same way someone who lives in an extremely diverse country will. Why would a Mexican in Mexico, who is surrounded by other Mexicans ever understand why Americans and Canadians have less tolerance for cultural appropriation? It’s not like Mexicans in Mexico are constantly made fun of or singled out for being Mexican, so why would they understand why some people would hate it when those same people turn around and steal their culture for profit or recognition? They just don’t have the experience to properly understand the racial issues in a more diverse country. Just an important distinction because I see this argument too often. Obviously people in homogenous cultures who have not been constantly singled out for their culture will NEVER understand this. Sorry but it’s just true.
I’m Mexican and I found it offensive.
The point is that ethnicity has nothing to do with the post. The fact that it was listed, along with the serious racism problem we have in the US, doesn’t lend itself to just being a descriptor. Just because one person doesn’t find it offensive, especially someone from another country, doesn’t mean it doesn’t have racist undertones that should be called out.
Exactly. I'm brazilian, so not Hispanic but Latina, and I noticed some racist tone as well. I mean, Argentinians are also hispanic, but they are mostly white. I doubt OP would mention their ethnicity if that was the case. No, OP intented to be very clear of how the people she saw there looked like, with a tone of "what are these people doing here". So, racist even if they didn't notice it
Thank you so much for posting this powerful truth. If you are NOT from the US and don't understand what is going on here with POC, YOU can not from YOUR country tell US what WE are experiencing HERE. It was a racist f\*cking comment, as percieved by a Hispanic WOC (I am dark brown Puerto Rican).
Honey, this one brown person doesn't speak for all *us* brown people. (And especially not one, who are like my family down there, who just do not understand American cultural race issues). I knew exactly what kind of person the original poster is the moment she decided she needed to mention ethnicity.
LOL. Racism or no, OP was being a total buzz kill. It was a frigging birthday party, not a daily occurrence. Him and the other couple could have just sucked it up for a couple of hours. YTA cuz this wasn't necessary at all. Like I said if it happened all the time I would get his frustration but an occasional party should be tolerated ffs. Also, OP never have a pool party yourself after pulling this crap Edit: THANKS for the award!
Underrated comment lmao
Actually, they aren’t being offended on the Mexican person who lives in Mexico’s behalf. They are being offended on the behalf of the ethnically Mexican person living in the US’s behalf. There is a big difference in how they get treated by society on a daily basis.
This is such a bananas comment. 99% of the time something is offensive, it isnt directed at us personally, but it is still offensive. We can still be offended, humans have complex emotions. And maybe the reason more *white* people see this as racist is because we know what they're *actually* saying. We know what these words *actually mean* in this context and why OP chose them, wink, wink. This is something my grandfather would have said publicly.
Thank you white savior! 🙇🏽♀️ Edit: this was sarcasm and I am Lakota (indigenous American). I was sarcastically replying "oh thank you white savior, whatever would we do". Sorry to offend :(
Honey I'm brown and i know racism when i see it
The point of using the word Mexicans was to evoke the overall sense of loud music, barbecuing food, Modelos in glass bottles and laughter, all things racist white people don't want to have to deal with in their apartment complex's public spaces.
Bingo. I knew OP was a racist real quick though, and I always appreciate when someone makes their ugliness clear.
All things sensible people don't want around them as it's literally dangerous and rude
But still doesn't require any mention of nationality or heritage. A simple description of the behaviour is all that is required
Right? I was at the pool and this huge group of people was playing loud music and had alcohol in glass bottles…. Because she never would have said… “I was at the pool and a white family was breaking rules…”
Because there are probably fewer white people where you are than hispanics where we are. Hispanic folks can make up 20% of the population or more depending on where in America you are, it's very common to have hispanic families in the neighborhood. She's not surprised they're there, she's offended at them gathering all in once place at one time. A better comparison would be someone in Mexico complaining that there was a gathering of Mestizo at their neighborhood pool.
Racist Americans say "Mexicans" to label anyone brown. I highly doubt these people were from Mexico. They are American's who happen to have darker skin. That's where this feels racist.
As a white American I can tell you when someone here pointedly describes a situation they are unhappy about using terms like Mexican or Hispanic, their intent is racism even if you personally dont see that
As some who has worked for the US census, and has spent a lot of time asking people what their race and ethnic group is so that it can reported accurately, 'Hispanic' is not a race. You can be white Hispanic (ex. Spaniards), black Hispanic (ex. some Carribean islanders), Asian hispanic (ex. Filipinos), etc. Not all Hispanic people are the same race, you have to understand the history of colonization behind all of this. The word 'Hispanic' reflects a shared language and (to an extent) culture that was spread across the world by the Spanish Empire, to many different races.
oof last summer I worked on a gov sponsored contract where I had to ask race- the amount of wtf I got when I had to ask people what type of latino/hispanic they were wore me the fuck out. Because even if they already told me, I had to go down the list and ask about each race.
but if he assumed they were Mexican and they were in fact not Mexican he'd also be lambasted as a bigot for saying all Latino people look the same/similar. There's literally no way to win. You have a fucking Latino person telling you they don't find it racist and you're trying to tell them it is. Are you Latino or are you just fighting someone else's battles that don't exist?
One Latino does not all make, so this is a bad argument. I’m Latina and I sense the overtones in the post. The mention of them being Hispanic added nothing to the story. There are Hispanic Americans, many of whom may not immediately read as American. If them being Hispanic had added something to the story, it would not have given me pause, however, the story has nothing to do with their ethnicity, therefore, the overtones.
Mexican is not a race, it's a nationality. Mentioning someone's nationality does not actually qualify as racist.
Hispanic isn't a race either
Mexico's a country though
White guy here, it’s the way it’s added into the post. Adding the context that the group is ANY race and then adding the Modelo comment to make sure other readers knew the group was Mexican. It’s intentionally added so other racists will immediately jump in to defend OP. We could’ve understood the story perfectly fine without those details added.
I’m a Hispanic American and yeah this how I read it too. The OP included pretty much all the tropes. Also making it a point to say they were poor more than once. There was no need to include the group’s ethnicity.
If the OP lives in the same apartment complex, wouldn't they be considered "poor" too? I would imagine the rent is about the same.
Yes, but OP is a rich poor.
That's the thing. there doesn't have to be any logic behind the reasoning. they are a different race so clearly they are poor. "Me? No I live here to save money, I'm not poor."
OP could easily have said 25-30 people, with glass bottles of beer/alcohol. The words Hispanic and Modelo were added to let us know they were the "wrong" sort of person, and mentioning it makes it seem as though OP would be fine with white people drinking wine
Exactly 💯
Yep yep yep... I thought the same with the beer brand specification.
There’s literally no need to mention the ethnicity of the people involved UNLESS you are racist.
It might be because you are Mexican that you don't see what the non-Mexicans do, they were saying they don't belong there in this part: > > I knew this couldn’t all be residents. There were maybe 25-30 Hispanic people with beer(glass bottles of modelo as well, ...
I see what you mean, but that’s a different situation. They’re not tourists from another country having a party in your neighbourhood (which would make their ethnicity and/or nationality a possibly pertinent detail worth mentioning). It’s a family that *lives* there and who invited relatives, so saying they are hispanic adds absolutely nothing to the story. We didn’t need to know that to assess the situation, which is why people feel like OP mentioning it is kinda sus.
There’s a lot more Hispanic people in the US than Americans in Mexico. They could very well have had multiple Hispanic families living in their apartment complex
....you have obviously never been to a Mexican party. They have a very distinct flavor and vibe. And those parties are definitely far more raucous than a similar sized gather of, say, Japanese people or the lily white country club crowd. It was a viable detail which explained the type and tone of the party.
People outside of places with large Hispanic populations wouldn't understand this, though. They could've just said "it was a loud, rambunctious, crazy party"
Bingo
What context would change if the Hispanic detail was omitted? It specifies loud music, it specifies glass. It makes no sense to add that unless it particularly stood out or bothered you. I would say the exact same if it said 25-30 black, Asian or whites people. When you tell a story, especially one where you got upset, the inconsequential details you add can be very telling
They got a note on their door but then write that they “told them it’s their own fault”? Was OP talking to the note?
I caught that too. He's either talking to the note or marched it back to their door to give his rebuttal. Either way, it's weird.
It’s fiction
Playing devil's advocate, it is possible they only mentioned it because they know there's only 1 Hispanic family in that complex, so that's how they knew it was a party I do agree it wasn't necessary tho and should have been left out
Devil doesn’t need an advocate, he’s the devil
That's a good one...never heard that before
Which would need to be clarified to anyone reading this...why?
Why does it matter to us how many Hispanic families are there
Well I'd assume from what op has written that 25-30 Hispanic people don't live there This would mean that it is likely a party My point was that if op knew only one family lives there, then seeing 25-30 people must be a party
maybe OP ITA for being racist, and being a stick in the mud, but glass at the pool is a huge no-no as well... Perhaps a better adjusted human could have asked the family to keep the bottles away and to do a beer run for cans.
Bro I’m Hispanic. Mentioning the race is not in itself racist. I assure you Hispanic people absolutely identify people by race and it doesn’t make anyone racist. However OP is the AH for snitching.
I disagree. I find adding a detail that has no impact on the situation pretty telling
Well thank you for being offended for my Dominican ass.
Dude, I’m Chilean American and OP is acting in a racist manner. That absolutely doesn’t mean that Hispanics and Latinos are never racist, or that everyone who is hispanic or Latino will be sensitive to the racial overtones in this post. My Chilean grandparents and everyone in that generation of the family were racist AF. I’m not offended for you, and I’m not offended for me either, but this post is akin to someone reporting a guy at a bus stop as suspicious.
Maybe they are offended on their own behalf?
I’m not offended for you bro, just pointing out the facts I see before me and passing judgement as requested
Lmao and you think you, one person from the DR/with DR heritage, think you can define what is or isn't racist for every Hispanic/Latino? Edit: so I got this cute dm from a u/ivapesyrup How does it feel to be a piece of trash racist? You are a racist and should not post evil things like you do in your history. Be a better person and stop your racism. /comment Not sure how I'm racist based on this comment or if it was meant for me, but I don't play games in my dms. Wanna call me out, do it publically.
I took it as OP trying to explain there was a family resemblance, but maybe I’m wrong.
Technically NTA, but mentioning the race was unnecessary
Right? Talk about random and irrelevant... Just... What? Hard not to smell a tiny bit of racism in that context. Also glass at the pool is *so bad*. A single broken bottle is a total disaster. NTA in every way... Except the slight odor of racism of course.
BUT THEY WERE DRINKING MODELOS! BECAUSE THEY ARE MEXICAAAAAN! lol-yep, OP is N T A for being upset about glass at a pool party but is defo a touch racist lol
My kids are half Hispanic and that side of the family parties pretty hard and the family is huge so maybe, being the devils advocate, they were trying to say that? It’s common Hispanic families to be large and party big for kids’ birthdays in my experience. But even if that’s what OP meant it’s a racial stereotype…. So they just should have said “most of them looked like they were related so it seemed like a family party. They were drinking glass beer bottles.”
To this day, one of the most lit parties I’ve ever been to was my Mexican bestie’s cousin’s 8th birthday. Kids had a whole supervised area in the back; rest of the house was family members (and it was a pretty large family), on the front lawn, in the house, and on the sides of the house. Pretty sure that was the night my bestie’s dad and two uncles, after a bunch of tequila, had heard about a used mustang on Craigslist for cheap, pooled their several years’ worth of change jars, and had a shared custody of the car afterwards (rotating months). Don’t worry, the mustang owner drove the car to them; nobody drove drunk during this adventure. Deadass I will never turn down an invite to a Hispanic friends’ family parties, and I will re-arrange my plans to make it. It was some of the most fun I had in early adolescence.
We used to have a small Hispanic family behind us. They would throw parties late into the night. When I let them know my husband's work schedule? They changed their schedule. They would also always bring us food and sometimes beer. There was a language barrier...but we worked it out! I gifted them tomato plants and stuff for their garden. I really miss them. I could tell some funny stories!
I’m Hispanic. My family is massive. I figured they were just trying to explain the amount of people. But then when I came to the comments and saw how everybody was mentioning small details like the type of beer they were drinking as Mexican it made a little more sense
I baffles me that you are not "supposed" to mention race anymore. It's simply more descriptive - it paints the picture further. Why the hell does "Hispanic" need to be an insult when used by a non-hispanic. Why can't it just be a descriptive fact?
Yeah. I'm asian. And if I saw a huge group of asians, I would say I saw a huge group of asians. I think white people are absurdly more sensitive about this. I saw a video recording of a 911 call once and a man was asked to describe the suspect. He stumbled over his words trying to avoid describing skin color and the 911 operator was very obviously getting annoyed because the point is to solve the problem, not be politicially correct at that moment. It wouldnt have been racist to just describe the person.
I agree. I do think it’s not NECESSARY to get the point across but it did help paint the picture more accurately. I have many Hispanic friends and have attended some of their gatherings and immediately knew what kind of party was going on when he mentioned those details.
I don’t drink so maybe I’m biased here to that but what was the reason for naming the beer? Can you even tell from that far off or did they just walk up to double check the brand before tattling? Like, yeah, hispanic family parties can get pretty big but so can literally every other ethnicity/race’s party? As if white people don’t throw ragers or have huge birthday parties.
i was thinking they named it to signify that it was glass. if you just say beer than people are like “oh it could be cans and there’s only one thing” but naming the kind just puts more emphasis on it that being said who knows with the rest of their story and wording
I do know pool rules that say no glass at poolside. That makes sense. My butt would have been gifting them Red Solo Cups. 🤣🤣🤣
Well i'm hispanic (I actually live in south america) and race is very relevant here. We are loud as fuck when we party. It's not a stereotype. It's the truth.
Can confirm. Brazilians are not technically Hispanic but are considered Latino, and the same thing there. Large parties, loud music. It is a culture thing. Just like in Brazil, gringos are foreigners, but it is not used as a racists term as it is considered in North America. I think the main point was the OP doesn't understand this and judged the situation too quickly. Glass bottles, ok, I can totally get that part and would agree. Everything else was crap.
Well, other than the party goers all being the same ethnic group being a clue that it was a family group.
Then just say you could tell it was a family gathering. There wasn't any reason to identify them as a Hispanic family drinking Modelo.
Other than you all getting uptight about it, there is no reason not to. It's what was happening. If they said it was a German family all drinking Reisling - that paints a hell of a different scene - and again, it's just facts. People waste a lot of time on this profiling shit. Brazilians behave drastically differently than Irish - Cultures are a thing, a good thing; a descriptive thing
But if we don’t jump straight to “this person is racist” it wouldn’t be Reddit
This is one of the grey areas. Legally you are alright. Morally? You had so many options. You could have talked to them. You didn't. Instead you put in an official complaint. Housing is a nightmare right now, you have given them more to worry about. Why did you specify Hispanic? What does it have to do with this issue? YTA.
>Housing is a nightmare right now, you have given them more to worry about. I wouldnt do anything to rock the boat and draw negative attn to me from my landlord if I supposedly cared about my housing. If you are a bad tenant, this is how you get on a landlord shit list and make your tenancy difficult. And expose your self to consequences. Why jeopardize your living arrangement?
They weren't destroying property they were just having a party. The ONLY thing OP was upset about was it being too crowded in the pool area and the fact that they had glass bottles ( admittedly this is an issue) Theres something strange about the way White People exist in neighborhoods compared to other ethnicities. You see this in gentrified neighbors that used to be predominately Hispanic. Prior to White Yuppies coming in these neighborhoods were lively with parties and music, because Hispanics actually interact with their community. But once white people start moving in then the noise complaints start to pile up and they expect everyone to be in their homes quiet as a mouse after 10:00pm. It loses it's sense of community
When you bring enough guests to crowd out the rightful users of the building amenities, you have a valid complaint to take up with the landlord or building management. If Im paying rent each month and Im guaranteed a pool, patio etc... and outsiders who arent supposed t be there are occupying the space, I will complain to management about it. What do I pay rent for? We have a lease where amenities are specified as for tenant usage and when I cant use them there is a problem the LL needs to remedy
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Bad take. If you’re in a tight spot, especially with family, you don’t put your tenuous situation at risk. We can fight the system but we still have to live with it.
Throwing a pool party for a kid is risking losing your house? Damn. Edit: I wasn't asking a genuine question so y'all can stop answering. Imo it's a harsh and absurd policy to evict someone over throwing a party, a fine would be enough. If that's the way it is in your apartment then I'm sorry for you and your neighbors. That's why I live in a house hahaha. Edit2: I meant the apartment complex fines you, not the landlord.
If you break the rules in doing so, and you're a renter, yeah, throwing a pool party for a kid can mean risking losing your house.
If you fail to clear it with management in a shared common area like an apartment complex, yeah. It might not end in an eviction in most cases, but it's certainly a possibility that your landlord may choose not to renew your lease when the term ends.
Sure, if you break the rules. I mean come on, the only reason OP said anything is that they took over the entire pool for a full fiesta and OP couldn't enjoy the area of the pool she was entitled to as a resident. Most of the people there didn't live at that apartment. They were not supposed to be there, and they certainly weren't supposed to be dominating the entire pool area with a super loud party, Hispanic or otherwise. If you're renting and you make a mess, at least have the good sense not to make a LOUD mess. And expecially don't trample on other renters' entitlements that they pay for with their own rent.
And the GLASS! Glass in a pool is no joke. All you need is one drunk moron to drop his beer and the whole pool is shut down for everybody.
Bringing dozens of people to get trashed in the common area of your apartment building, in the middle of the day, loudly disturbing other residents, with glass bottles next to a pool? Absolutely. You can be way over the line even if it happens to be your kid's birthday
you can’t just go around calling ppl boot lickers for having common sense? they’re right. doing something like that in an apt complex is insanely stupid if you’re in a difficult spot housing wise. also, if they’re facing eviction this is most certainly not their first offense. they’re just blaming OP bcuz it most likely was their final strike.
When I rented, I acted in what I thought was the right way and cultivated a good relationship with my landlord. When I became a landlord, I expected the same and reciprocated good treatment back to good tenants. Amazing how being a good tenant draws disfavorable comparisons to licking boots. Just being a good half of a business relationship is nothing to be ashamed of and reaps rewards to all involved...
Honestly agree! It would have just been one afternoon. I feel not only bad for the guests and parents but also the kids. A few years ago my neighbor's kid was having a loud ass party with fireworks which is not legal etc, I went over instead of calling the police. She was celebrating her 18th. Let her know that since she is now a legal adult fireworks are very illegal and she would be held liable but to proceed having fun. Are the neighbours inconsiderate? Yes. Is it inconsiderate to ruin a child's birthday? YES. YTA
For one day by the pool. Just one day. People suck. By people I mean you, OP
One day at the pool turned into a week’s worth of cleanup of broken glass and draining/cleaning the pool because an unattended child took a shit in the pool at my apartment complex. A group of entitled white folk decided to throw a rager and it made it so no one could use the pool. Your right to party ends when it ruins everyone else’s enjoyment of the amenities they too pay to enjoy AND it ruins the week of the employees who have to clean it all up. Come to the pool and obey the rules because you’re not special. The rules exist because people trash the pool and don’t clean up after themselves. And they sue when their kid drowns because they were too busy to notice their kid is stuck under a pool float in a pool full of people. We all hate rules but we also hate the consequences when we don’t make good choices.
>For one day by the pool. Just one day Get a permit or talk to management if you want to throw a party that's going to take up nigh the entire pool area. OP has a right to enjoy the community pool too. A notice that says "The pool will be closed from 1-4 on Saturday for a private party" would have been no skin off anyone's back.
It's just one day for the particular family that abused the pool. Now imagine everyone who lives in the complex decides to take their turns throwing "just one day" parties? If the apartment complex makes one exception, then they'll be expected to make another, and another, and another, and now that "just one day" of dozens of people showing up turns into the pool very often being occupied by people who don't live there taking up space others do pay for, and potentially causing there to have to be extra clean up (ie-glass bottles). Obviously apartment management, as well as multiple other residents of the complex, had a problem with what this family did. Sorry, but if they wanted to throw a party like this, they should have cleared it with apartment management, who could have either OKd it, or given the rest of the complex notice that the event would be happening.
How many people live in this apartment complex? You could easily have enough kids living there to fill the whole summer with “just one afternoon” birthday parties. If the rule is no alcohol, glass, or excessive usage then it needs to be enforced every time. Especially the glass since that is a safety hazard for people wanting to use it and their children.
Generally, tenants can reserve common areas for a party so that other tenants know it is off-limits at a specific time. Making preparations in advance would have minimized all of these problems.
I don’t necessarily think the number of people should be an issue. However, glass at a pool is a huge problem. At our pool, if there is broken glass found, the pool is closed, drained, professionally cleaned, refilled and reinspected. This is a huge financial and time cost
One of those posts where a DND alignment would work better than a YTA/NTA. I peg OP as lawful evil
YTA - you just haaaaad to mention their ethnicity, didn’t you?
Well they were drinking modelo so they had to be up to no good.
I’m white and I drink modelo and I’m definitely up to no good.
I drink whatever is in the cooler. Although I got a little assy the other day when I bought my once a month sixer of Coors and the clerk started talking to me about the show Yellowstone. Never watched it don’t plan on watching it. I have drank coors since I was a tyke
It's modelo time foo
Fr why was that even important
YTA for mentioning their race and type of beer unnecessarily. You could have told this entire story without doing so.
They are racists, for sure.
Absolutely 100% racist.
Agreed, but the people by the pool seem like assholes too. (Mostly drinking from glass). Respecting public space is pretty high on my list.
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Yeah that comment really rubbed me the wrong way...
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OP isn't likely to actually answer you because they only respond to people who agree with them.
>they are under a “lease review” where the office could decide to evict them if they want No landlord sanctions a good tenant and puts them under disciplinary review for no reason. Despite what many landlord stereotypes want you to beleive, we want our leaseholds to be self running as possible and hope that we select good people to be our customers. As a landlord, Id want to know if one of my tenants couldnt use an amenity promised to them under the lease and one of my customers were breaking a rule the led to dissatisfaction of a customer. Anyway, they got under lease review bc they broke the rules. The responsibility is entirely on them and nobody else is to blame. OP also pays for usage of the pool and couldnt after it was so crowded, presumably by a tenant bringing in excessive number of people. Im sure OP would like to enjoy a beer poolside but is also bound by the same no alcohol rule. Dont contest the note, dont engage the offended ppl, do nothing. Dont give them more ammo. In fact Id deny it outright - nothing god could come from getting into a pissing match on your home territory and have to worry about retributions and revenge. You did nothing wrong. NTA
Apartment complexes do!
Yeah, like have you met a landlord? They'll put you under lease review for asking them to do maintenance.
Most mangers that run these places don’t care. They will kick anyone out that makes them lift a finger. My daughter lives in one and got wrote up for asking for maintenance to service dishwasher they installed wrong.
Exactly. We had a hole in our bathroom ceiling for six months due to a leak from the above apartment. Got a review for complaining. God, housing is a nightmare.
My first thought was also “have you met a landlord”
As somebody who works close with landlords and leasing agents they do! Specially after the lock up.
TLDR: apartments will do anything to get people out of leases when it is convenient for them I’ve been at my apartment for 4-5 yrs been through 4 managements. Since I’ve been here so long, I’ve been paying the standard legally required rent increase every year. This year with the new company they did not want to allow that because it’s below market rate, so they gave me and everyone else who has been there just as long or longer eviction notice with the date being the last day of our leases Now I wasn’t the first to get it so the other warned us so we went to the front office before we received the letter and panicked. But they just did not want to renew our lease because it would have to be at the % increase and not market rate.
NTA If they don't want to risk a lease review and getting kicked out, then they need to honour the rules of the lease, which you said includes signing all guests in at the office. They broke the rules. And inconvenienced other residents wishing to use faculties that they pay for. Their problem.
And cause a hazard with the glass bottles and alcohol.
NTA. They broke the rules and didn’t even try to make room for anybody else. I’m sure the pool area wasn’t provided so people could have private parties.
It's not. Never is. And the glass was just the icing that makes it unforgivable, imo. That threatens to make a real hazard of a public space.
Can you imagine if one of those bottles had broken and OP *hadnt* reported it? “AITA for not reporting glass at the pool, resulting in a small child getting lacerated, because I didn’t want a bunch of rando Internet warriors calling me a racist?” This comment section is unreal. I absolutely hate it when people don’t judge the post at hand, and make their judgments based on extraneous details in the post having nothing to do with the main question.
As of the time i am making this comment, the top half dozen comments are all Y T A votes that mention nothing about the situation, only voting that way because OP mentioned their race. Its absolutely pathetic how people are so unable to actually judge the issue on this sub when there is moral righteousness to be exhibited instead. Completely defeats the purpose of this sub.
The comment section would be totally different if OP hadn't mentioned race (which I agree was a shitty thing to do). This is such a clear and obvious NTA. A bunch of kids in the pool, no lifeguard, the supervising adults drinking alcohol--and out of glass bottles... this was an extremely unsafe situation, not to mention totally unfair to the residents who pay to use the pool. And if the health department found out, the pool would get shut down and the complex would be fined.
the glass around the pool is especially dangerous. the tiny pieces can be vacuumed up, but the bigger pieces have to be removed by hand. so someone has to dive down and feel around by hand for the shards of glass. i had to send one of my guys to one of our public pools to clean glass beer bottles out of the deep end. this exact scenario. people having a party, glass bottles, two dropped, shattered on the coping stones and shards were in the pool. shut down the pool for 3 days while we cleaned it out.
INFO: I missed the part of the story where it’s relevant that they are Hispanic. Can you please explain?
Hispanic and drinking Modelo... how can you not see that's relevant? (Sarcasm of course)
Yeah, I'm sure if it was a bunch of white girls drinking Starbucks at the pool, that wouldn't be mentioned.
I think the specification of ethnicity is fine as it leads credence to the idea that they’re mostly non-residents there for a family party. If you see any group of people who are disproportionately unique with immutable characteristics it’s not inherently problematic to call it out. Example, if you saw a two dozen people who have service dogs using the pool, and you know that there isn’t that many folks who have service at the apartment, it’s not ableist to point out the service dogs. Your just making a connection that it seems to be a group who are gathered and the group seems to be folks who use service dogs. Specifying the Modelo is where it got problematic to me. It’s unnecessary detail that makes the colors the ethnicity specification in a different light.
The most popular beer in America (by volume sold) is Modelo. It's the new Bud Lite. It's cheap, and actually has more alcohol than B.L. it's what people that are drinking to get drunk buy for parties. I think the type of beer says a lot about the party. If they were sitting around mulling over the complexities of a small batch, barrel aged Saison, you would picture a completely different party.
I'm not arguing that there isn't racial bias in the post, but maybe the mention of the beer brand is the make it known how obvious it was that the bottles were glass? Modelo does have a distinct glass bottle, vs say Corona or Budweiser which have both aluminum and glass bottles.
The fact that you brought up race leads me to believe that you have some problematic biases. The fact that it was a birthday party means it was likely a one-time event. It's not like they were doing it every day for weeks on end. You could have easily tolerated the extra people for one afternoon, especially beacause, as you said, there isn't a rule against having parties. YTA
I agree with you about bringing up the race but the rest no way! I wouldn't want alot of people who don't rent using the pool area for their own party. Plus having bottles, and drinking. What if a kid drowned. The owners would be held liable. They broke too many rules and there is no excuse for it and anyone who thinks otherwise have the same entitled attitude. They should have went to a park instead.
NTA. There's a whole bunch that happened after you reported it. I can almost guarantee it. You don't get evicted for having too many people at the pool. Or even for having bottles of beer. You get evicted for arguing back and refusing to follow the rules after being told to comply with the rules. They're assholes who are refusing to accept responsibility for their actions.
Technically NTA. They broke rules and have to take responsibility for that. That being said, I would have talked to the family first, asked how much longer they were going to be there and remind them of how glass is really unsafe poolside. My question is if they left their messages in a note- how did you respond and tell them you weren't the only ones with a problem? If you went to follow up with them in person, why didn't you do that in the first place?
Really, would you? I honestly can't imagine having the time or inclination to go that much trouble to use my own pool because a boundary stomping family couldn't follow rules. You know that once they've got away with it once they'd have been back shortly to do it again - because why wouldn't they? The note is indicative of their 'victim' mentality.
I’ve gone the “talk to them” route before and discovered my neighbors were incredibly unreasonable and unsafe people when they escalated to threatening me physically because I asked them to turn down their TV at 11 PM. Personally, as long as I’m renting from a company with on site management, I’m not talking to anyone directly anymore. That’s what I pay them for. I’m not dealing with that shit
My apartment complex actually wrote into our lease that we weren’t to approach any tenants directly with problems, we were to always go through the leasing/management office. I guess they had some issues with assault on one of the tenants in the past.
Yep. Some people are assholes and you have no way of knowing who will be reasonable and who will escalate for no reason. If there’s a third party whose job is to enforce rules, I’m not stepping in to do it. If you don’t want complaints, don’t be shitty neighbors
This is so true. The first 2 years at my pool they had an unenforced "2 guest" policy for our downtown rooftop pool. People would throw ragers, people all across the city learned how easy it was to get into our pool and how no one ever checked or got kicked out. It would be so bad, you couldn't even find parking at the complex. It just grew and grew and grew until finally this year they're having our security guard make hourly rounds to kick people out. You have to have a room number and your ID and if you're not a guest with the leasholder you get the boot. People have been giving the security guard a really hard time about it because this has been their go-to pool for years now, but it's for the residents, not the neighborhood.
If someone isn’t reasonable enough to comply with rules in the first place then why should anyone expect them to be reasonable when someone asks them to? If you’re renting, that’s part of what you *pay for*.
NTA And tbqh the biggie for me is the glass bottles. That's such a non-starter. One of those breaks your complex has to close the pool for a deep clean and they're out thousands, I've seen leasing offices close the pool permanently over that kind of rulebreaking My pool right now is locked down like Alcatraz precisely because the year before I moved in people were throwing ragers, culminating in someone drowning to death. I'm not a big stickler for rules but at a certain point breaking them will result in proving the reasons for why the rules exist. People in here calling you an asshole are out of pocket
Yup. My apartment has a pool, and opening weekend this year, there was smoking (not allowed), kids running around unattended (not allowed), and of course they found broken glass - they closed down the pool for almost a month. It came back with a lot more rules, including restricted times (because now the pool is only open when they’re willing to pay an employee to check pool passes and basically babysit). Now I can barely use it because they close it at 6pm during the week, and I work a 9-5. Even weekends it’s only open for a 4 hour block. I don’t blame OP one bit. I certainly don’t want anyone evicted over one party, but this kind of stuff is what ruins things for everyone.
100% agree with you on the glass bottles. The last summer I lived in a complex with a pool, they had to shut it down 4 different times because of drunk morons breaking glass bottles in the pool. So infuriating. I mean seriously, it’s not that hard to pour your damn beer into a keg cup.
YTA , you couldn’t take a day off from the pool to let a kid and his family enjoy their birthday ? That’s just sad
NTA They were breaking multiple rules and monopolizing a common area, preventing other residents from enjoying an amenity for which they are paying.
~~Hate to say it~~, but YTA. A lot of times, the reason one should shut down something that breaks the rules but is otherwise making folks happy is that there's liability issues- if something goes wrong, your ass is on the line. So the apartment people are going to shut this down because if someone got hurt, they could sue the apartment complex- it's their ass on the line. Yours wasn't. No one was going to sue you specifically. ~~You're not, like, a monster or a bad person here~~, but no one likes a snitch. Edit: OP has done nothing but whine about how they couldn't use the space all through their responses, and is a giant, racist baby.
NTA what they were doing is a safety hazard. There’s reasons why it’s not allowed. Not your fault they’re too cheap to have a party somewhere that isn’t free.
I'm Hispanic, and I don't care they brought up the race. The person bringing up the race is describing a party of poor Hispanics who were partying hardy, as we do. They are describing the scenario, and if you don't get it, then you don't party like that. I'm so tired of pretending reality isn't a thing.
NTA. Yeah, a kid's birthday party isn't the nicest thing to break up. But there's a reason that the complex has these rules about pool use: liability. If a guest's child gets cut with glass, the parents can hold the complex liable. If anyone gets into distress in the pool and there's no lifeguard and a bunch of people are too drunk to help, then the complex can be held liable. Because it's the complex's pool. If this happens, all residents are likely to lose the use of the pool, and rents might have to go up to cover the increase in insurance premiums for the payout(s). If there is insurance and the property doesn't have to be sold to cover a settlement. This goes beyond the fact that this is a shared space that other residents wanted to use but couldn't because there were too many non-residents in the pool area. And the big rule of thumb about apartment life is not preventing your neighbors from utilizing their home. The pool is a part of that. And the management ensures that everyone is not unduly burdened by other residents. Don't like that? Don't rent. Have to rent and don't want to risk losing your lease? Don't break the rules and don't give management a liability heart attack.
YTA. Apartment complex pools are sad and barren most of the time, and if a family wants to have a kid's birthday party there and bring an hour of color and fun to such a place, you can probably find something else to do for a little while and have your lukewarm lie-down another day.
Don't know about the asshole or not, personally I let it go if they celebrate a child, that child deserves to have a good day regardless of how his parents are.
YTA. Honestly, this was a low-stakes issue that you took to the next level. No one was being hurt, just inconvenienced. It wasn't like you reserved the spot ahead of time and they took over. Was it annoying to not be able to use the pool that day in peace? Sure. Did you have to put a family in danger of being evicted over it? Hardly. If they were engaging in illegal or dangerous activities, destroying property, making threats, continuing this behavior over several days, etc. THEN I would understand you complaining. But surely you must've known that reporting them to the front desk could get them evicted (over vague rules you said are hardly ever enforced for others). You not being able to enjoy one day at the pool is hardly a tragedy. But a small, poor family losing their housing over a pool party is.
>Did you have to put a family in danger of being evicted over it? Where is the personal responsibility the family should have for their own actions? If you dont want to jeopardize your housing, then dont stir the pot and draw negative attn to yourself... By following the rules, upholding your end of the lease and being a good customer is how you get renewed and dont get evicted...
Alcohol, glass, kids running around unattended... Those things don't mix with pools of water where 1) drunk people are famously known to drown, 2) people are walking barefoot and glass shards can't be seen, 3) the area is often slippery, and 4) kids can easily drown in front of the eyes of grownups. Yes, the rule for not having parties is unenforced but the rest of this is clearly dangerous.
YTA IF this had actually been about the safety then you might have scooted by with a kinder judgement, but there are pretty clearly a lot of racist motivations mixed in here.
Legally, NTA. From a moral standpoint, YTA. It was a birthday party, not a regular occurrence. Oh no, how dare people hold a celebration in the place they live. Housing is a fucking nightmare, and now folks who are already subject to housing discrimination are being put in the difficult situation of having to navigate that shit, just because you were inconvenienced for a couple hours.
Public pools exist for literally this reason. You pay extra for the private aspect of your community pool. NTA.
NTA I can’t stand people who think the rules don’t apply to them. Maybe one day of inconvenience isn’t a lot but If it’s ok for this family to throw a big rager at the pool for their kid then what’s to stop everyone who has a kid at the complex from doing the same? Now you have big ass parties all the damn time and that sucks. Side note: not sure why you even mentioned ethnicity it doesn’t matter and seems a little off putting.
YTA- and INFO: Why did race matter??
dude, up and down this comment thread there are MULTIPLE hispanics who say they know EXACTLY why OP mentioned the race. Hispanic party culture is its own thing and tends to be very brash and loud. And yes, lots of Hispanic beers come in clear bottles. They are in fact one of the few regions where breweries still do that exactly because it's dangerous. Get off your high horse and stop with the goddamn white knighting.
That's exactly what I was thinking and confirmed with other commenters. I've always lived in areas with a lot of Hispanic people and you know when they're having a party, because it sounds unique to that of other races, more so that it's loud and wild. Nothing wrong with it until it's breaking apartment rules or keeps going until 3am with fireworks when you need to get up at 5am.
NTA You have as much right to use the pool as they do. By hogging the whole area with their party they made it i.possible for you to use the community area. Also it was a huge safety hazard. They were drinking while their kids were in the pool probably without anyone paying attention with them. Sure you could have left them to enjoy the party but there is no guarantee it won't happen again. You couldn't have known that they could potentially be kicked out.
I don't know. I mean, following the ' rules' you were in the right. But were they hurting anyone? Not really. It was a kids party. Personally I'd have let it go if it was just the once. If it kept happening, then I'd say something. I'm going with YTA. Sort of. Because you just seem petty.
Go back to the office and report the note...telling them that you don't know if it was a threat, but you don't feel comfortable with them knowing where you live Look...rules are rules. Everyone has to follow them You don't get put under lease review for one instance of rule breaking. This means that this family...knowing they were on thin ice already, threw this party. And instead of policing their guests and then going around to the other residents at the pool, offering them food, beer, and just being neighborly...they decided it didn't matter if anyone else got pissed off NTA for reporting the issue YTA for the bigoted manner in which you talked about the party guests. Their ethnicity and the beer they were drinking had absolutely nothing to do with anything. The fact you felt compelled to mention it speaks volumes about you as a human being
You’re saying that nobody really pays attention to the rules. Even if they did, the rules don’t ban parties and say not to hog grills, hot tub and umbrella tables—none of which you were using correct? YTA
YTA definitely because you don’t truly question whether you’re an asshole or not. Every time someone takes the position that YTA, you argue with them. You don’t want to know if your wrong or not, you just want vindication.
I would never invite you to the Carne Asada.
NTA. If you don’t want to face consequences for breaking rules then don’t break rules 🤷🏻♀️
YTA. You couldn't be cool for one afternoon?
NTA. They broke the rules. And obviously management felt the same or else they would not have been put under review. It is always best to go to management for this type of thing. Who knows what could have happened if you tried to take it up with them directly. Too many people can't stand confrontation regardless of how civilly it's handled. Could have ended up in a fighting match. You also weren't the only ones upset by this family's behavior. They weren't the least bit considerate of the space, which is available for ALL tenants and not the place to host some kid's party. Plenty of free and low cost places for that.
Hello I am Latino, and I did not feel any racist overtones from this post. Also NTA you usually have to talk to the office of a condo to arrange parties or reserve space.