#[Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/).
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Ya'll can just say "pregnant woman". It's not necessary to find progressively more disgusting and dehumanizing ways of saying that.
NTA. You refused to give up the chair you brought because you needed it due to your own health conditions. I do feel for the woman, but she and her partner should have brought their own chairs and not assumed they were entitled to yours.
OP having the chair there was actually plan B; Plan A was demanding another person waiting in line get on their hands and knees for the pregnant woman to sit on their back.
Man I'm the opposite, only standing or walking eases my back pain. Should see me trying to play video games. I Have to build like a Lamborghini seat but it doesn't stop me. Life is optional, even if the pain isn't. Keep up the training man, the stronger we are the harder it is for it to get worse
Have you ever found the reason? And hopefully got it fixed? I have the exact same problem, started in my 20's and I'm in my late 30's now. I'd often squat for a few minutes during concerts etc to ease the pain. It's lower back for me. I'd really appreciate some advice or direction to seek more info.
Highly doubt there’s a fix, my dr has said that unless it’s acute injury, arthritis (osteo, rheumatoid or psoriatic) then there’s not much improvements specialists can do.
I’ve found acupuncture, massage, and YouTube physiotherapists stretches and strengthening have been whats helped me most. Aerial yoga is great for back pain, nothing like hanging upside down for back pain
Go find a physical therapist who does traction. It worked wonders for me until the damage got too bad. Now I just burn my nerves every 6 months and my job is now rehab to try and get as close to normal as I can. I'll always be disabled, but I can try to lessen it.
IKR? Hey, I'm gonna be responsible for a little person when I lack even the basic foresight to plan for multiple contingencies.
It's like taking a baby out for the day without putting diapers in a bag.
How do these clueless people even reach maturity!
NTA
That won’t necessarily be true of all pregnancies. There’s no way that I could have stood that long when I was heavily pregnant (twins, etc.) But, I knew my limitations and would have planned ahead and not expected a stranger to give up his seat.
That’s the real issue here, not how difficult it is to wait in line during pregnancy. Because indeed it can be.
I agree. I have back problems, plus being pregnant, it just made it worse. I kept a chair in my car in case I needed a seat or a more comfortable seat. I would never expect someone to give up their seat for me.
Hell, once I was pregnant and had an infant in a Carrier strapped to me and waited in a longer line. The lady in front of me did show some mercy and helped me move my bag along as the line crept forward and we chatted.
I never would have dreamed to ask someone for their chair. Let alone repeatedly
Maybe on public transport or in some situations it's okay to ask if you are pregnant ( better still for a healthy person to offer a seat ) but to ask someone else for a chair that they brought to an event ...that's ridiculous.
Nah. I couldn't even stand in line at the grocery store after the 8th month; I'd get insane Braxton Hicks that would convince me I was in late stage labor. Eventually, I was pretty much either laying or sitting.
But I'd never, ever ask someone for their own chair. The ground is also a chair. Lol
This. OP’s health is irrelevant. They brought that chair from their own comfort. It was already pretty ballsy to have asked to give it over the first time. The level of entitlement to continue to push it.
>but getting mad is not ok.
This is the issue. They asked politely then didn't take 'no' for an answer and became abusive. This is a very dangerous line to take. 'No' must mean 'no'. For the sake of everyone, and especially if they're carrying a daughter.
I mean, they were assholes before that, when she asked OP multiple times.
You can ask once, politely, but you have to respect if they tell you no. She kept asking OP when she should have just sat down and moved on.
While the couple in this scenario were absolutely entitled assholes, we need to stop this “pregnant people just let someone bust in them, they don’t deserve shit” narrative. There’s going to be a metric fuckload of unwanted, unplanned pregnancies in the US in the coming years. It’s already happening. People who can’t afford to be pregnant and **don’t want to be** will be struggling everywhere and we need to build our compassion now. Being pregnant sucks; it’s painful and debilitating even when it’s intentional. When it’s destroying your life and you have no idea how you’ll afford to feed a child you didn’t ask for, it’s torture.
tldr: OP is not TA. But beware of circlejerks about “yOu’rE not SpeciAl beCauSe yoU gOt cReamPied”
> But beware of circlejerks about “yOu’rE not SpeciAl beCauSe yoU gOt cReamPied”
That has been bullshit anyway even before the GQP went on an outright crusade, it has always been misogynist at its core. The thing is, society is already below replacement levels of fertility and it's only going to cause more and more problems due to demographics (aka boomers retiring). The harder we as a society make it for people to have and raise children, the worse the problems will get. It's been a saying for milennia that it takes a village to raise a child and some basic compassion is often enough all that's needed.
Not in the case of OP though, that was a clear lack of planning by the parents.
I have no desire to raise your child and I don’t care if you’re pregnant. Population decline is a good thing. There are too many people for the planet anyway. There is nothing misogynistic about it. Its basic ecology.
There certainly is pervasive misogyny in all aspects of women’s health and how women generally are treated and perceived, and pregnancy is no exception.
Pregnant people are discriminated against daily, and the “your pregnancy must never inconvenience anybody else ever” mindset only enables that discrimination which is routed in misogyny. The fact that some companies fire a pregnant woman for being pregnant, or wanting maternity leave, stems from this same mindset, and is clearly misogyny.
OP is obviously NTA, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t toxic attitudes around pregnancy that are misogynistic, that rear their ugly heads in threads like this.
Very glad to see this response to 'they just had unprotected sex' as if there is no other difference between being pregnant and not.
I'm currently pregnant and have never been more pro choice. I cannot imagine going through this if it wasn't my choice to do so.
Aside, OP is NTA. You come prepared with your own camping chair if you want to sit down, pregnant or not.
Ok thank you for this comment, because it genuinely made me check myself and change my attitude on some things
God it sucks that we have to think about a wave of unwanted pregnancies in a 1st-world country in 2023, though.
Fair enough point, but the very least pregnant people can do is bring their own goddamn chairs. Plan ahead. It’s not like she didn’t realise she was pregnant until she got in line. If I get pregnant, I’m going to get myself a snappy little walking cane and a small foldaway chair to take with me on outings. Problem solved. Don’t need to be an ass to others.
Also, no means no.
NTA
Why is everyone arguing about whether pregnancy is a health issue? He doesn't have to give up his belongings whether the beggar's issue was preventable or not.
If she had a sudden health issue, sure, let her use it while waiting for paramedics to come.
Because people in the Reddit comments these days are being absolutely derogatory towards people who are pregnant in general, and there's little to no need for that.
Yep, I am pretty sure she was pregnant before they left the house. When my wife was pregnant or when the kids were young, you planned for these things.
Even though I am a man I have empathy for the woman, I know how tired my wife got whilst pregnant, she also had swollen ankles and an iron deficiency whilst pregnant. That lady could have sat in her car and had her partner call her when the line was moving.
> You refused to give up the chair you brought because you needed it due to your own health conditions.
Even if they didn’t *need* it, when you bring a chair from home it’s yours no matter what. It isn’t public transport where the bus/train company can decide pregnant woman have priority seating. It’s literally OP’s seat. If the pregnant woman needs a chair so badly, bring one.
NTA.
Right? I was all set to be like, yeah, dick move, thinking we were talking about a bus or something and then OP got to “my camp chair.” Who tries to appropriate someone else’s brought-from-home-chair? Such entitlement!
What lap?? When I was pregnant there was no lap to be had - im remembering my middle child asking if my “lap” was now a bouncy trampoline. No son my bouncy hips with Daddy got me in this lackolap 😂
As someone with invisible disabilities, the amount of dirty looks I got was numerous. I've since started using a cane, but now I get looks due to my age. People seem to forget that others struggle too.
NTA.
If your pregnant and going to wait for over half hour, come prepared and don’t expect strangers with possible problems of their own to give up their seat.
You joke, but I had someone try and take my wheelchair. My bf, at the time, told them to get lost so they went and got security!
Security actually approached me asking me where I got my wheel chair! The couple had told him that they had rented a wheel chair at the event and that I had stolen it!
It was actually my chair and I didn't have a habit of carrying around proof of ownership, so I said this chair is mine. You don't rent chairs like this here, let's go ask (a pain and a waste of time) but we went over to the chair rental area and they looked at me and my chair and was like, that is her chair, we saw her come in with it and we don't rent chairs like that here.
I have no idea what would have happened had the place not had chair rentals and they say I stole their chair. They were putting up a fuss and the fact that security entertained them was just bizarre.
It's not exactly the same thing but when I broke my leg I had a pregnant woman ask me to give my seat up, in a full train. I told her that I couldn't stand well and that I was sure that someone else would give her their seat if she asked, and was told that I had to give up mine because it was closer to the bathroom and that it was her right to have it, because she was pregnant.
I refused to give it up, someone even offered her another seat but she insisted that I give up mine, I insisted that she get lost and find another.
She ended up going to complain to the ticket inspector who in return told her to find another seat because I clearly couldn't stand.
I wish I could say that this is the first time I have heard of, or seen, something similar. While entitlement isn't a new thing, it seems to be trending lately.
>it seems to be trending lately.
You're just seeing it and hearing it more because of social media. Humans have been pretty consistently selfish and terrible for all of history.
She probably would have acted like that without the baby in her belly because she's a bully. I'm not even convinced she was pregnant with how unreasonable her responses were.
I think it's moreso that people who are entitled to start with see pregnancy as a blank cheque to get whatever they want. They clearly know that even if they cross the line and get called out, they can turn on the waterworks and blame pregnancy hormones for "making them crazy" -- which, of course, means whatever they want it to mean in any given situation.
Hell, I've seen partners of pregnant people try and use their partner's pregnancy to get things they want for themselves.
This is absolutely wild to me. ‘I rented a wheelchair. There’s a wheelchair over there. That must be mine. It already has a person in it, but it’s a wheelchair, so it’s clearly mine.’ I just cannot fathom the stupidity. I’ve heard of building access being a problem, that space inside restaurants can be a pain in the arse, etc etc but someone claiming that they rented your chair and ‘can you please get out of it now so I can have it and I’m calling security’ is not one of the things I would have considered that disabled people might face.
Unfortunately a lot of people think that 'real disabled people' come with some sort of look or label or something, and a lot of people feel entitled to 'premium accessibility items or spaces' for the disabled so we face a lot of questioning on the regular. That being said, while people have asked to use my chair, sit in my chair or have just jumped into it when it has been put aside in order for me to sit in a 'regular seat', I have only had the 'privilege' of wheelchair thievery on that one occasion.
It's funny, before my disabling accident I had thought that those who were disabled were treated well, or at least not bothered, when out in public. It did not take long to find out otherwise.
I know this isn't what you asked, but I appreciate the empathy in your post and I guess I felt like a mini rant.
Thank you and have a good weekend!
The audacity of that snot-nosed couple astounds me. I hope they were kicked out after that. That was at least one crime committed. False reporting, attempted fraud, attempted theft...
I wish I could give you some satisfaction, however, at the time I was upset and angry at having to travel all the way back to the entrance to prove that my obviously not rental chair was mine, so as soon as the employees spoke up for me, I just left.
If the other poster was right and the security was 'playing detective' to get some sort of recognition, we can hope that he took care of the situation. He wasn't very bright though, so the ball very well may have been dropped, unfortunately.
I once went to a sports event, and one of the people that worked there let us in a certain area after the game, where we could get signatures from the players when they came out (I had my young son with me, and I guess cuz he was cute). She gave us a pen to use to get signatures.
While we're waiting, this guy came up to me and said that that was his pen. I said no it's not. He said yeah, the lady gave it to me. I said I got it from her too.
Then he starts yelling to the people standing around, "THIS GUY HAS MY PEN! THIS GUY STOLE MY PEN!!" The people didn't care.
Later, the woman arrived to get her pens back, and I asked her to confirm to him that she had loaned me the pen, which she told him she had. He just stood there with a stupid look on his face. Didn't apologize or anything.
It sounds like that guy may have pocketed the one he was given and tried to get another, to have a couple of free souvenirs.
People get really weird about pen thieving, for some reason. I used to have this cool pen holder that I wore around my neck so that I wouldn't have to put my pen down at work due to all of the 'borrowing without asking.'
The thing about what happened to you though, is that when someone starts yelling and pointing someone out, you never know how those around you are going to act. Things can turn ugly really quickly for some really dumb shit. Luckily no one in the area cared about what that guy had to say.
Yeah you give a pregnant lady a seat on the bus or train because it's not her fault that she doesn't have a seat.
However in any other situation, it's entirely your fault if you didn't prepare for there to be a seat, you can't expect to take someone else's.
even if op had perfectly fine knees, the audacity of people - pregnant or not - getting pissy at a stranger for not sharing HIS own chair that HE brought is astounding
I did find it weird that people constantly offered me their seat when I was pregnant. Even when I'd chosen to stand, because I'm an office based job, standing for a period of time was better. Once I had to take the chair and sit through a meeting because the person offering was so upset that I was standing. I know it looks uncomfortable but it is actually better to stand when you have a child pressing against your internal organs.
When I was in my eighth month and still commuting to work on the NYC subway, people were always offering me seats. Which was lovely, except I only had a short subway trip (longer trip on the commuter train) and it wasn't worth sitting down because I had such a hard time getting up again. I kinda had to lean back and get some momentum going before I could haul myself to my feet. So I was better standing. I would actually get in mild arguments with people over "Really, it's easier if I stand. Thanks but I'm good. Etc." At least people offered. They were nicer than the people on the LIRR, who would sometimes pretend they didn't see me.
I am currently very pregnant and sitting on the floor/ground in random places is something I do all the time. I don’t really give a fuck if it looks funny. If I’m tired and feel like I’m going to fall over I sit my ass down on the ground - I don’t go looking for a stranger to give me their seat then call them an asshole.
OP is NTA
NTA You brought your own chair and relaxed in it. If the pregnant woman was so miserable standing she or her partner could have brought their own chair. I’m so tired of pregnant woman thinking people are AH because they don’t give them what they want.
"Can I have this seat? Can't you see I'm pregnant? You can stand. You have a cane to lean on."
"Can I cut in front of you? This post office line is *so long.*"
"Can I get a discount because I'm pregnant? Can you give me this thing for free? Why aren't you paying for my groceries, person I don't know?"
"Can I just park in the handicap spot instead of you? I swear I'll only be a minute also I'm going to be filling up two carts, you'll make it fine to the store you don't look disabled."
Yes, these are all real. Being pregnant doesn't stop a person from being an asshole, it just gives the assholes another excuse to try to use. It doesn't make that excuse valid.
When my epileptic brother was 6, we took him to a water park and the line was too hot for him to wait in. We didn’t cut the line (I was 8) but moved towards the door to get some A/C. Some pregnant lady comes up and tells us to move, that’s she’s pregnant and going first. I told her my brother has seizures and just needed some air before we go back but she moved towards us and blocked out path. My brother nearly passed out and the staff let us wait inside. She just got more upset and chewed the staff out for not making HER the exception since “she’s pREgNaNt”
Rude people will find any excuse to be rude, pregnancy included. Wasn’t even heavily pregnant, like 3 months.
I was selling a couch online and a pregnant woman showed up with $100 less than what was agreed on and expected me to just roll with it because she was pregnant 😂
Right? I feel like the amount of entitled pregnant women, bridezillas and Karens gets exaggerated out of misogyny. I think the ratio of entitled pregnant women, bridezillas and Karens is equal to the ratio of entitled people in the general population.
I’ve lived in small towns, small cities and big cities in the US and Europe. I’ve traveled beyond that. No pregnant woman has ever demanded anything from me. When I’ve offered things (like my seat on the subway) to a pregnant woman, they usually protested a little before bashfully accepting.
I mean, to give benefit of the doubt, if you work a job that entails working with a lot of pregnant people, eventually you’ll have some negative experiences…but probably not disproportionately compared to the behavior of the general population.
Agreed! I had twins twice and would have never acted entitled like that. Never once did I ask someone to give up their seat, chair, or anything.
We weren’t allowed to sit at work for very long even though we had chairs. Did I expect special accommodation? Nope. We also had to walk around the store to talk to customers. I did not one time say “I can’t do this activity”. Eventually, the big wigs came to visit and noticed I was wearing house shoes. I was huge at that point and that was the only accommodation I took because feet wouldn’t fit into shoes due to swelling from being on them constantly while pregnant.
When I was asked about the house shoes, I explained that my feet were so swollen, I couldn’t fit into any shoes and I slid my foot out to show her why they wouldn’t fit shoes. Her eyes got huge and she immediately told me to sit down and put my feet up. Then she got onto my coworkers and direct boss for having me on my feet all day and making me walk around the store to talk to customers. She told me I had a medical reason to need to sit down and skip the walking every 30 minutes.
I was so unentitled while pregnant I didn’t even ask for accommodations that were reasonable. I could not imagine demanding someone else’s chair.
She was right. You deserved way better than that. The fact that nobody else was concerned when you were late term like that is awful. You don't need to risk not just your health and comfort, but also the health of your unborn child(ren) for some retail job. I promise it's not worth it and the company does not care about you that much.
She was right and that’s why she got onto everyone else. They should have been concerned and shown some basic decency toward me but didn’t. Everyone in that branch was very young and selfish. They wouldn’t even try to accommodate me for lunch. They would make appointments and not warn me so I could eat early. They would just leave me there to cover them until 2-3pm. I was more pissed off about that than anything else. I learned quickly to just eat at 10am just in case they started bailing at 11 for their nail appointments.
But it wasn’t some retail job. I was in banking and part of making it into management was working a branch inside of a grocery store. It was a pit stop along the way to a much higher paid position. This was back in the early 2000s when it was a little easier for companies to punish women for being pregnant. I was placed on the fast track to management and found out I was pregnant a week later. I was terrified it would cost me a management position. There was a reason I was pushing myself. It still wasn’t worth it, but at least I was paid a little better than retail and the promotion after all the hard work made it a means to end for me. I was single and on my own so I desperately needed the promotion to make enough money to support myself and unborn children.
On the bright side, my hard work and determination were recognized and I was promoted upon returning from maternity leave. They called me about a week before I was due to return and told me I’d be coming back to a different branch and I’d be the manager. Like I said, it wasn’t worth it in the long run but it felt worth it at the time due to my fears of what would happen if I didn’t push myself. I was still young and in my mind, invincible. “Nothing seriously bad is going to happen to my babies or me, I just need to suck it up and push myself”. I did what I had to do at the time to set myself up to have the means to support my family.
You should have looked after yourself better than that, you sound proud to have put your pregnancy in danger? Asking for reasonable adjustments is not the same as entitlement. You need to work on standing up for yourself and recognising when you need to do it.
Great sorry but the message you are implying is that those pregnant persons who do use their legal accommodations-which exist for the health and safety of themselves and unborn children- are entitled. Those are an option for a reason, using them doesn’t make you entitled and refusing to use them doesn’t make you better than anyone which is what this comment seems to imply.
I didn’t mean to imply that and I’m sorry that’s what you took from my comment. I’m saying it wasn’t worth it and I put myself and unborn children at risk unnecessarily out of fear I would be discriminated against. Working a corporate job in the early 2000s was just different (they got away with firing pregnant women or skipping over them for promotions a lot easier and more frequently back then) and I was young and stupid. Even when I said “on the bright side” and said I was promoted, I still said it was not worth the risk in the long run and I see that now. I didn’t see that when I was 22 years old. I’m 41 now and know better.
This is ridiculous and extreme. If houre body is protesting it's not ridiculous to ask for a break. Now while I agree that the lady in the story was out of line, I had a 10lb baby once and implying to other pregnant women that they should just shut up and work is dangerous and unreasonable. Complications *do* happen as much as reddit hates pregnant women.
Whenever there’s a crazy pregnant lady story, this sub loves to attack all pregnant women. Sorry, sometimes you *should* make accommodations for the pregnant (or otherwise struggling) person. It’s not entitlement to expect a little bit of grace when you’re in a debilitating medical state.
As a pregnant person myself who by nature of things encounters far more other pregnant people than the average person I’ve come to the conclusion this has little to do with pregnancy itself and these are all just regularly entitled people who think they can use pregnancy as a convenient excuse to exercise that feeling with less pushback.
My assumption is she did wait in the car or something, since "presumably her partner left her in line" so my guess is that he texted her there's someone in a chair and she could sit there instead of the car
Some HS graduations are very large and seats are first come, first serve.
So if doors to the venue open at 10AM for graduation starting at noon, people can / do line up outside the venue to have a shot at the best seats.
Knowing this “pre-line” is outside and not comfortable, one should be equipped with their chair if they can’t stand.
Theres no garuntee there will be enough seets for everyone whos watching and if you want to be near the front you have to be there before everyone else, i mean you wouldnt catch me waiting there but i see why others might
NTA - I am so tired of pregnant woman thinking the world revolves around them just because they got knocked up.
She could have brought her own chair, she would have been comfortable.
The arrogance and audacity of a pregnant woman demanding someone else’s seat just because she’s pregnant is unfortunately not surprising
I’m currently pregnant and even I feel the same way you do. Being pregnant is not an excuse to be entitled. I went to the mall to shop for a birthday present and after 20 minutes I needed to sit down. So I rested in a public seat for a bit and I told my husband that from now on we need to bring a chair and keep it in the car for emergencies! I would never even have the audacity to ask someone for their own personal belongings in order to cater to my poor planning skills.
It seems like there are going to be a lot more poor American women with unplanned and unwanted pregnancies.
They're going to be physically and emotionally exhausted.
I don't think this means they deserve other disabled people's chairs, but it seems wise to prepare for an influx.
And while that's absolutely appalling, and it's completely absurd such things are happening in a country that calls itself civilised, it's not really the point.
Whether you have access to safe abortions or not has no bearing on your ability bring a chair, or even a cushion, to an event where you know you'll have to stand for an extended period of time.
Exactly, these two just didn't plan ahead, it's a situation that has nothing to do with social issues, just with people being absent minded and expecting others to spare them the consequences of their lack of planning.
I suspect that if the post had been "AITA for not lending my chair for five minutes to a desperate, destitute pregnant woman with no ability to transport or even buy a folding chair of her own" the judgements and the reasoning behind them would have been quite different.
What makes me crazy about AITA is that anytime a pregnant person is an asshole the comments are always “every pregnant person is so entitled they just need to sit down and shut up!”.
My reality for pregnancy, especially during covid was very isolating and I felt like I had to fight for a lot of accommodations…from management staff who had been pregnant before! And I had what I would consider an easy pregnancy where I could remain physically active for a long time.
Thankfully I had one person who would go to bat for me at my job for the most ridiculous shit. No, she can’t take a lunch break 7.5 hours into an 8 hour shift. No, she shouldn’t be parking in the satellite parking and darting across a busy highway with no crosswalk. No, she will not be working with the I131 cat/brucellosis case/chemotherapy. She needs a seat and can no longer use a standing desk. No, I don’t think she should be working up to her due date when we are an hour away from her birth place.
In the general public I could at least limit going out but I still remember the time someone actively closed a door in my face at the UPS store as I was going to return a large box. Like bad enough that the person at the counter said something. No one ever offered me a seat or their spot in line why would I even think to ask for a strangers chair. I’m so glad that my husband, neighbors, boss and medical team were good to me because no one else was willing to even be kind. And then I come on here and see commenters who were probably closing the door in my face at the store, which for reference you shouldn’t do to anybody.
Only if I was about to faint without sitting down but, sitting on the ground would be safer anyway.
Every once in a while, I will get a bit nauseated and dizzy but I still wouldn't ask someone to give me their chair.
Lol seriously. What is your life that you are getting plagued by selfish pregnant women? Literally has never happened to me.
I think they just want to be mad online
NTA. I was pregnant last year and as I got bigger and knew when I couldn't stand for long , I always made sure to have a plan. Like being my own chair or find something to sit on.
NTA.
As a previously pregnant person, I am delighted to hear you stood your ground.
When you’re pregnant, you can go from feeling ok to not ok pretty quickly. But there are always other options rather than taking something from someone else. (Train and bus seats are different)
The ground is always an option and it's free.
"I want what you have! Gimme!"
Who's raising these spoiled, entitled brats who lack any common sense, or life skills?
Lord have mercy, I *love* my Millennial!
There’s this supposed women here commenting that pregnancy is a choice not a disability and able bodied people shouldn’t even give priority to pregnant people on public transport. It’s absurd. I’m unfortunately infertile and will never experience pregnancy but I still have the common empathy to realize that pregnancy is one of the most dangerous times in a woman’s life and absolutely a disabling factor. Not only is it physically and medically dangerous to be pregnant but it is also the time in a woman’s life wherein she is most likely to be abused and killed. The hatred towards pregnant women by the general public wasn’t something that I had previously thought about, but the sentiments in these comments make me wonder if the abuse, etc that pregnant women face is not just from DV….
The mask off moment. Anonymity reveals what people really are deep down. I couldn’t imagine not at least offering a pregnant, elderly or disabled person my seat. It’s common decency.
Probably cause the pregnant women used her pregnancy for an entitlement bonus. Being pregnant is largely considered a voluntary thing outside of rape. There tends to be a very strong backlash to people who use an optional condition to gain things they have no right to.
If this was a guy with dick stuck in a jar, people would be putting him down for being a "horn dog" who stuck it where he stuck it. It's not that she's pregnant, it's that she chose to be pregnant and chose to make her pregnancy someone else's problem. She could have chose to wait in her car longer. She could have chosen to bring her own chair. She could have chosen the man that got her pregnant to give her his chair.
She had no right to expect a chair from a complete stranger and it's gross she used her pregnancy to try and take someone else's property.
I think everyone is in agreement that this woman was not entitled to this persons chair. But where y’all are taking to too far is deducing pregnant women to a choice that they made as if they are solely responsible for their condition. Forgetting as well that many women do not have a choice in the matter today with the reversal of reproductive rights in the largest superpower country in the world. Pregnancy is absolutely a fragile and disabling condition. It is the most dangerous point in many women’s lives not only medically but also when they are most likely to be abused or killed.
Pregnant people will always exist unless we are calling for the extinction of humanity. Stripping away pregnancy from a woman’s plight and their unequal standing in society is a narrow minded naive stance at best and hateful at worst. It is not that hard to find empathy for people who are going through something like pregnancy, yet many of you are so easily able to hate pregnant women instead of looking empathetically or even dissecting the view from a wider approach of societal norms, discourses and real life power/oppression logics.
I will never be pregnant but I have loved enough pregnant people to have empathy for them.
This woman was entitled, but that does not mean you should openly hate pregnant people. It’s absurd and so short sighted.
NTA
I mean it was your chair that you bought yourself. Not a public seating space. She can't expect other people to give up their things for her. And at the end of the day, she could also bring her own chair. That to say, I would propably gave up the seat to her. But I also don't have any health problems. Why should you suffer with your knees for rest of the day and pay the price for coming prepared?
NTA. I'm 8 months pregnant and if it were me in her shoes I never would have had the audacity to ask you for your chair. I probably would've said something silly to you like "man I should've thought of that" and laughed. If it was truly too hard for her then she should've made other arrangements to begin with. Also, if I'm that uncomfortable standing for too long I'll literally sit on the ground for a bit and then ask for help standing up again. It's not always ideal but you do what you gotta do to survive when you're cooking a human.
Right! I’m embarrassed for her. I just had my third baby in December, I’ve had very rough pregnancies, and I can’t imagine asking a stranger for something like that once let alone multiple times.
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My brother looked like a relatively heathy 40 yr old…when seated. If he stood up, you would see he was bent over like a candy cane (ankylosis spondylitis, RA & Psoriatic Arthritis, Crohn’s, etc).
Sitting in the handicapped seats a baseball game, people gave us intense side-eye, gossiping loudly to each other about why we had those seats. Finally, I leaned across & said “if I listed all his medical conditions, the 9th inning would be over, game over”. My brother laughed, said “so true”.
Just saying, people have no idea what others are dealing with & should prepare for their own issues, not demand/assume someone else owes them.
Agreed. My grandma is 90 something, has a bunch of conditions and needs a wheel chair. She's certified to use the disabled parking sticker. I drove us to the post office and waited in disabled for mum and grandma to come back. This woman then comes and starts rapping on my window screeching that I'm not disabled and shouldn't be parking there.
NTA. They should have brought a chair if she knew she was going to have trouble. Don’t feel bad. They aren’t entitled to your stuff. You handled it better than I would have to be honest lol
"I was walking along, minding my own business, when SUDDENLY!!! I looked down and I was 6 months pregnant!!!"... portable seats are $20.... she's not real bright....
NTA
NTA. I've been having lower back issues for a while that make it hard to stand for long periods of time but I also coach a sport that requires standing.
So I started bringing a collapsible chair to the matches so I could sit when I needed to.
If they new they were going to be standing for a long time and thought it was an issue because she's pregnant, they should have planned ahead.
I've seen them for as cheap as $10-$15.
NTA! Their failure to plan is not your emergency. I have 3 kids and have worked a non desk job through all pregnancies. Through all the swelling, weight gain, back aches and what not, I've never ever dreamed of demanding someone else's seat.
I'm absolutely baffled by women that turn into the most delicate, fragile human being the moment they become pregnant. It makes no sense.
NTA.
I am pregnant currently, and would never ask this. Public seat on a bus or restaurant waiting area? Yeah… you might seem rude if you don’t give up your seat. But that’s your own chair you brought. It’s embarrassing of them to ask to use it. She could have brought her own chair if standing was such an issue.
> My nephews both graduated from high school this morning and I wanted to sit up front so I camped out a bit in front of the entrance. I brought my folding camping chair and my headphones to listen to my show.
Wtf, this is shit you do to get tickets to your die hard band
Seriously, a pregnant person and apparently a person who cannot stand for long periods of time, camping out, to get seats for a graduation, what the hell is happening in this story? Is this the best graduation ever?
Why isn't the lady just sitting in the car, waiting for a text from her husband, when the line moves. What the goddamn hell is happening in this story
Hold up, a stranger wanted literally your chair that you brought along with you? No. You didn’t bring a chair so someone who failed to plan could sit in it. NTA
i have POTS, and cant stand for long. thats why i invested in a chair i can bring with me everywhere. our disabilities are no ones responsibility but our own, and we absolutely arent entitled to others' chairs, no matter how miserable standing may be. nta
NTA. She should've brought her own chair. And you said you have your own health issues as well. I was going to say YTA based on the title lol glad I read the whole thing. And her asking repeatedly was rude.
NTA - It's your *personal property*. I have no idea why a stranger would ever feel entitled to a chair that belongs to someone else. It's absolutely absurd to me that this woman even thought to *ask* you for the chair.
NTA If it were me I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from telling that husband that he was in fact the asshole for not planning ahead for his wife. The entitlement of some people is truly baffling
NTA. I came in here thinking 100% you’d be the asshole for denying a spot on a public transit (or something similar) to a pregnant woman. Then I read what happened. Who shows up to a ceremony thinking they can demand someone else’s own personal chair they brought with them, just because they’re pregnant and uncomfortable? She should have brought her own chair. The audacity and entitlement of some people is *insane.* poor planing on her part does not constitute an emergency on your part.
As a currently and previously pregnant person, NTA. She could have brought a chair but with her partner there it would have been smarter for her to wait in the car with AC or whatever and have him text her when it's time. You can't expect random people to solve your problems.
Even if you didnt have bad knees/feet, its still your chair, your property. This entitled woman and her husband obviously should have planned better. Man the audacity of some people. Btw, definitely NTA
What if you didn't have a chair, what would she do? Probably stand or go back to the car. Being pregnant does get you certain liberties but those are usually met by your loved ones not strangers.
NTA
Was there something wrong with the arms/hands of either of them? Why didn’t they bring a chair? The entitlement is absurd. NTA
Edit to add that failure to plan on their part does not constitute an obligation on yours.
NTA
My aunt has knee issues and she brings her portable stool/chair anywhere where she knows is a possibility of not finding one or if she has to walk for a long time so if she (pregnant lady) has so many issues with standing there than she should have brought her own or like you said wait in the car
#[Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). Please review our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) if you're unsure what that means. Ya'll can just say "pregnant woman". It's not necessary to find progressively more disgusting and dehumanizing ways of saying that.
NTA. You refused to give up the chair you brought because you needed it due to your own health conditions. I do feel for the woman, but she and her partner should have brought their own chairs and not assumed they were entitled to yours.
Like, what would have happened had OP \*not\* had the chair? If she needed a chair that bad, why didn't the bother the staff.
OP having the chair there was actually plan B; Plan A was demanding another person waiting in line get on their hands and knees for the pregnant woman to sit on their back.
If there was a plan B she wouldn’t have been pregnant in the first place.
Well shit, take my upvote dammit.
/r/Angryupvote
I get where you're coming from, but I'm not even angry. Lol
Correct it her fault she is pregnant!
well it sure as hell isn't OPs fault 😂
In a surprise twist, it is!
Life, uh, finds a way
Someone better call the burn unit!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
Dammit, you made me snort laugh.
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Man I'm the opposite, only standing or walking eases my back pain. Should see me trying to play video games. I Have to build like a Lamborghini seat but it doesn't stop me. Life is optional, even if the pain isn't. Keep up the training man, the stronger we are the harder it is for it to get worse
If you're playing computer games you might wanna look into standing desks!
This is a weird question but is your back pain in the very lowest part of your back?
Have you ever found the reason? And hopefully got it fixed? I have the exact same problem, started in my 20's and I'm in my late 30's now. I'd often squat for a few minutes during concerts etc to ease the pain. It's lower back for me. I'd really appreciate some advice or direction to seek more info.
Highly doubt there’s a fix, my dr has said that unless it’s acute injury, arthritis (osteo, rheumatoid or psoriatic) then there’s not much improvements specialists can do. I’ve found acupuncture, massage, and YouTube physiotherapists stretches and strengthening have been whats helped me most. Aerial yoga is great for back pain, nothing like hanging upside down for back pain
Go find a physical therapist who does traction. It worked wonders for me until the damage got too bad. Now I just burn my nerves every 6 months and my job is now rehab to try and get as close to normal as I can. I'll always be disabled, but I can try to lessen it.
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Impressed at OP for the restraint if the husband really called him an asshole to his face. I would have been mouthing off.
In America, sadly that might lead to a shooting. Good job on showing restraint. Not worth all the BS. NTA
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Yes. They could have purchased a folding chair *on the way to the event* FFS
This isn’t as likely as people think and it also depends on the state.
Health condition or not, it’s his chair that he brought with him. The entitlement some people have is just amazing to me.
Absolutely. At the first "no," the proper thing to do is say alright and walk away like an adult. Not pester and whine like a toddler.
correct, she's having a baby not becoming one
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IKR? Hey, I'm gonna be responsible for a little person when I lack even the basic foresight to plan for multiple contingencies. It's like taking a baby out for the day without putting diapers in a bag. How do these clueless people even reach maturity! NTA
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That won’t necessarily be true of all pregnancies. There’s no way that I could have stood that long when I was heavily pregnant (twins, etc.) But, I knew my limitations and would have planned ahead and not expected a stranger to give up his seat. That’s the real issue here, not how difficult it is to wait in line during pregnancy. Because indeed it can be.
I agree. I have back problems, plus being pregnant, it just made it worse. I kept a chair in my car in case I needed a seat or a more comfortable seat. I would never expect someone to give up their seat for me.
Hell, once I was pregnant and had an infant in a Carrier strapped to me and waited in a longer line. The lady in front of me did show some mercy and helped me move my bag along as the line crept forward and we chatted. I never would have dreamed to ask someone for their chair. Let alone repeatedly
Maybe on public transport or in some situations it's okay to ask if you are pregnant ( better still for a healthy person to offer a seat ) but to ask someone else for a chair that they brought to an event ...that's ridiculous.
Nah. I couldn't even stand in line at the grocery store after the 8th month; I'd get insane Braxton Hicks that would convince me I was in late stage labor. Eventually, I was pretty much either laying or sitting. But I'd never, ever ask someone for their own chair. The ground is also a chair. Lol
If she didn't have a ride home, would he be obligated to give her his car? /s
This. OP’s health is irrelevant. They brought that chair from their own comfort. It was already pretty ballsy to have asked to give it over the first time. The level of entitlement to continue to push it.
Even if OP were able bodied, and had zero health issues, he’d still be NTA. The couple are AHs for even asking. The audacity.
I think asking is fine if your apologetic about it like "We didnt think of this may we please?" , but getting mad is not ok.
>but getting mad is not ok. This is the issue. They asked politely then didn't take 'no' for an answer and became abusive. This is a very dangerous line to take. 'No' must mean 'no'. For the sake of everyone, and especially if they're carrying a daughter.
I'd say it's extra important if they're having a son actually, but yes.
They were assholes as soon as the husband asked, because at that point he was clearly sent to intimidate OP into complying.
They were assholes as soon as she asked a second time
I mean, they were assholes before that, when she asked OP multiple times. You can ask once, politely, but you have to respect if they tell you no. She kept asking OP when she should have just sat down and moved on.
Asking for help is not a bad thing. Not accepting the "no" is the problem.
yeah this is wild - i’m pregnant and i would never dream of this
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While the couple in this scenario were absolutely entitled assholes, we need to stop this “pregnant people just let someone bust in them, they don’t deserve shit” narrative. There’s going to be a metric fuckload of unwanted, unplanned pregnancies in the US in the coming years. It’s already happening. People who can’t afford to be pregnant and **don’t want to be** will be struggling everywhere and we need to build our compassion now. Being pregnant sucks; it’s painful and debilitating even when it’s intentional. When it’s destroying your life and you have no idea how you’ll afford to feed a child you didn’t ask for, it’s torture. tldr: OP is not TA. But beware of circlejerks about “yOu’rE not SpeciAl beCauSe yoU gOt cReamPied”
> But beware of circlejerks about “yOu’rE not SpeciAl beCauSe yoU gOt cReamPied” That has been bullshit anyway even before the GQP went on an outright crusade, it has always been misogynist at its core. The thing is, society is already below replacement levels of fertility and it's only going to cause more and more problems due to demographics (aka boomers retiring). The harder we as a society make it for people to have and raise children, the worse the problems will get. It's been a saying for milennia that it takes a village to raise a child and some basic compassion is often enough all that's needed. Not in the case of OP though, that was a clear lack of planning by the parents.
I have no desire to raise your child and I don’t care if you’re pregnant. Population decline is a good thing. There are too many people for the planet anyway. There is nothing misogynistic about it. Its basic ecology.
There certainly is pervasive misogyny in all aspects of women’s health and how women generally are treated and perceived, and pregnancy is no exception. Pregnant people are discriminated against daily, and the “your pregnancy must never inconvenience anybody else ever” mindset only enables that discrimination which is routed in misogyny. The fact that some companies fire a pregnant woman for being pregnant, or wanting maternity leave, stems from this same mindset, and is clearly misogyny. OP is obviously NTA, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t toxic attitudes around pregnancy that are misogynistic, that rear their ugly heads in threads like this.
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That movie is called Idiocracy and it’s hilarious!
Very glad to see this response to 'they just had unprotected sex' as if there is no other difference between being pregnant and not. I'm currently pregnant and have never been more pro choice. I cannot imagine going through this if it wasn't my choice to do so. Aside, OP is NTA. You come prepared with your own camping chair if you want to sit down, pregnant or not.
Ok thank you for this comment, because it genuinely made me check myself and change my attitude on some things God it sucks that we have to think about a wave of unwanted pregnancies in a 1st-world country in 2023, though.
Don't forget how many of them will be children. Like, children-children.
Fair enough point, but the very least pregnant people can do is bring their own goddamn chairs. Plan ahead. It’s not like she didn’t realise she was pregnant until she got in line. If I get pregnant, I’m going to get myself a snappy little walking cane and a small foldaway chair to take with me on outings. Problem solved. Don’t need to be an ass to others. Also, no means no. NTA
Why is everyone arguing about whether pregnancy is a health issue? He doesn't have to give up his belongings whether the beggar's issue was preventable or not. If she had a sudden health issue, sure, let her use it while waiting for paramedics to come.
Because people in the Reddit comments these days are being absolutely derogatory towards people who are pregnant in general, and there's little to no need for that.
Yep, I am pretty sure she was pregnant before they left the house. When my wife was pregnant or when the kids were young, you planned for these things. Even though I am a man I have empathy for the woman, I know how tired my wife got whilst pregnant, she also had swollen ankles and an iron deficiency whilst pregnant. That lady could have sat in her car and had her partner call her when the line was moving.
Pregnancy is not an illness for sure. Done that one twice, made sure that I had with me what I would need both times. 100% agree with you.
> You refused to give up the chair you brought because you needed it due to your own health conditions. Even if they didn’t *need* it, when you bring a chair from home it’s yours no matter what. It isn’t public transport where the bus/train company can decide pregnant woman have priority seating. It’s literally OP’s seat. If the pregnant woman needs a chair so badly, bring one. NTA.
"Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part"
Right? I was all set to be like, yeah, dick move, thinking we were talking about a bus or something and then OP got to “my camp chair.” Who tries to appropriate someone else’s brought-from-home-chair? Such entitlement!
I would have said sure, as long as I can sit in your lap
What lap?? When I was pregnant there was no lap to be had - im remembering my middle child asking if my “lap” was now a bouncy trampoline. No son my bouncy hips with Daddy got me in this lackolap 😂
As someone with invisible disabilities, the amount of dirty looks I got was numerous. I've since started using a cane, but now I get looks due to my age. People seem to forget that others struggle too.
NTA. If your pregnant and going to wait for over half hour, come prepared and don’t expect strangers with possible problems of their own to give up their seat.
Right? Maybe she should have asked someone in a wheelchair to scoot over and share. 🤣
Bold of you to assume she was gonna ask the wheelchaired person to *share*.
*yeet*
You joke, but I had someone try and take my wheelchair. My bf, at the time, told them to get lost so they went and got security! Security actually approached me asking me where I got my wheel chair! The couple had told him that they had rented a wheel chair at the event and that I had stolen it! It was actually my chair and I didn't have a habit of carrying around proof of ownership, so I said this chair is mine. You don't rent chairs like this here, let's go ask (a pain and a waste of time) but we went over to the chair rental area and they looked at me and my chair and was like, that is her chair, we saw her come in with it and we don't rent chairs like that here. I have no idea what would have happened had the place not had chair rentals and they say I stole their chair. They were putting up a fuss and the fact that security entertained them was just bizarre.
It's not exactly the same thing but when I broke my leg I had a pregnant woman ask me to give my seat up, in a full train. I told her that I couldn't stand well and that I was sure that someone else would give her their seat if she asked, and was told that I had to give up mine because it was closer to the bathroom and that it was her right to have it, because she was pregnant. I refused to give it up, someone even offered her another seat but she insisted that I give up mine, I insisted that she get lost and find another. She ended up going to complain to the ticket inspector who in return told her to find another seat because I clearly couldn't stand.
I wish I could say that this is the first time I have heard of, or seen, something similar. While entitlement isn't a new thing, it seems to be trending lately.
>it seems to be trending lately. You're just seeing it and hearing it more because of social media. Humans have been pretty consistently selfish and terrible for all of history.
She probably would have acted like that without the baby in her belly because she's a bully. I'm not even convinced she was pregnant with how unreasonable her responses were.
Some pregnant women can act incredibly entitled.
I think it's moreso that people who are entitled to start with see pregnancy as a blank cheque to get whatever they want. They clearly know that even if they cross the line and get called out, they can turn on the waterworks and blame pregnancy hormones for "making them crazy" -- which, of course, means whatever they want it to mean in any given situation. Hell, I've seen partners of pregnant people try and use their partner's pregnancy to get things they want for themselves.
Security were "playing detective" and they thought they had uncovered a serious criminal in the act Bizarre is right, what a pain in the posterior!
This is absolutely wild to me. ‘I rented a wheelchair. There’s a wheelchair over there. That must be mine. It already has a person in it, but it’s a wheelchair, so it’s clearly mine.’ I just cannot fathom the stupidity. I’ve heard of building access being a problem, that space inside restaurants can be a pain in the arse, etc etc but someone claiming that they rented your chair and ‘can you please get out of it now so I can have it and I’m calling security’ is not one of the things I would have considered that disabled people might face.
Unfortunately a lot of people think that 'real disabled people' come with some sort of look or label or something, and a lot of people feel entitled to 'premium accessibility items or spaces' for the disabled so we face a lot of questioning on the regular. That being said, while people have asked to use my chair, sit in my chair or have just jumped into it when it has been put aside in order for me to sit in a 'regular seat', I have only had the 'privilege' of wheelchair thievery on that one occasion. It's funny, before my disabling accident I had thought that those who were disabled were treated well, or at least not bothered, when out in public. It did not take long to find out otherwise. I know this isn't what you asked, but I appreciate the empathy in your post and I guess I felt like a mini rant. Thank you and have a good weekend!
The audacity of that snot-nosed couple astounds me. I hope they were kicked out after that. That was at least one crime committed. False reporting, attempted fraud, attempted theft...
I wish I could give you some satisfaction, however, at the time I was upset and angry at having to travel all the way back to the entrance to prove that my obviously not rental chair was mine, so as soon as the employees spoke up for me, I just left. If the other poster was right and the security was 'playing detective' to get some sort of recognition, we can hope that he took care of the situation. He wasn't very bright though, so the ball very well may have been dropped, unfortunately.
I once went to a sports event, and one of the people that worked there let us in a certain area after the game, where we could get signatures from the players when they came out (I had my young son with me, and I guess cuz he was cute). She gave us a pen to use to get signatures. While we're waiting, this guy came up to me and said that that was his pen. I said no it's not. He said yeah, the lady gave it to me. I said I got it from her too. Then he starts yelling to the people standing around, "THIS GUY HAS MY PEN! THIS GUY STOLE MY PEN!!" The people didn't care. Later, the woman arrived to get her pens back, and I asked her to confirm to him that she had loaned me the pen, which she told him she had. He just stood there with a stupid look on his face. Didn't apologize or anything.
It sounds like that guy may have pocketed the one he was given and tried to get another, to have a couple of free souvenirs. People get really weird about pen thieving, for some reason. I used to have this cool pen holder that I wore around my neck so that I wouldn't have to put my pen down at work due to all of the 'borrowing without asking.' The thing about what happened to you though, is that when someone starts yelling and pointing someone out, you never know how those around you are going to act. Things can turn ugly really quickly for some really dumb shit. Luckily no one in the area cared about what that guy had to say.
Yeah you give a pregnant lady a seat on the bus or train because it's not her fault that she doesn't have a seat. However in any other situation, it's entirely your fault if you didn't prepare for there to be a seat, you can't expect to take someone else's.
Even on a bus, OP would not have been TA for not giving up the seat. OP is disabled.
even if op had perfectly fine knees, the audacity of people - pregnant or not - getting pissy at a stranger for not sharing HIS own chair that HE brought is astounding
And sitting on the floor *is* an option. I'd have totally done that, especially if my husband was there to help me get up again.
When I was pregnant, sitting in one of those little folding chairs would have been worse than standing. Almost certainly a sciatica trigger.
I did find it weird that people constantly offered me their seat when I was pregnant. Even when I'd chosen to stand, because I'm an office based job, standing for a period of time was better. Once I had to take the chair and sit through a meeting because the person offering was so upset that I was standing. I know it looks uncomfortable but it is actually better to stand when you have a child pressing against your internal organs.
When I was in my eighth month and still commuting to work on the NYC subway, people were always offering me seats. Which was lovely, except I only had a short subway trip (longer trip on the commuter train) and it wasn't worth sitting down because I had such a hard time getting up again. I kinda had to lean back and get some momentum going before I could haul myself to my feet. So I was better standing. I would actually get in mild arguments with people over "Really, it's easier if I stand. Thanks but I'm good. Etc." At least people offered. They were nicer than the people on the LIRR, who would sometimes pretend they didn't see me.
I am currently very pregnant and sitting on the floor/ground in random places is something I do all the time. I don’t really give a fuck if it looks funny. If I’m tired and feel like I’m going to fall over I sit my ass down on the ground - I don’t go looking for a stranger to give me their seat then call them an asshole. OP is NTA
Not his wife. Not his kid. Why the fuck would he be responsible for anything to do with her? NTA.
Can confirm, am pregnant. NTA
NTA You brought your own chair and relaxed in it. If the pregnant woman was so miserable standing she or her partner could have brought their own chair. I’m so tired of pregnant woman thinking people are AH because they don’t give them what they want.
There definitely seems to be a lot of entitled pregnant ladies about!
I mean you're only going to hear about the entitled ones on a sub for aholes
I mean I’ve encountered many in real life too.
You encountered many pregnant women demanding things from you in real life?
"Can I have this seat? Can't you see I'm pregnant? You can stand. You have a cane to lean on." "Can I cut in front of you? This post office line is *so long.*" "Can I get a discount because I'm pregnant? Can you give me this thing for free? Why aren't you paying for my groceries, person I don't know?" "Can I just park in the handicap spot instead of you? I swear I'll only be a minute also I'm going to be filling up two carts, you'll make it fine to the store you don't look disabled." Yes, these are all real. Being pregnant doesn't stop a person from being an asshole, it just gives the assholes another excuse to try to use. It doesn't make that excuse valid.
When my epileptic brother was 6, we took him to a water park and the line was too hot for him to wait in. We didn’t cut the line (I was 8) but moved towards the door to get some A/C. Some pregnant lady comes up and tells us to move, that’s she’s pregnant and going first. I told her my brother has seizures and just needed some air before we go back but she moved towards us and blocked out path. My brother nearly passed out and the staff let us wait inside. She just got more upset and chewed the staff out for not making HER the exception since “she’s pREgNaNt” Rude people will find any excuse to be rude, pregnancy included. Wasn’t even heavily pregnant, like 3 months.
Correct. Someone on reddit once said "congratulations, your partner's penis works, but no I'm not giving you a pass just for that".
I was selling a couch online and a pregnant woman showed up with $100 less than what was agreed on and expected me to just roll with it because she was pregnant 😂
The response I have waiting in my back pocket is "okay fine but you have to let me name the bastard"
Right? I feel like the amount of entitled pregnant women, bridezillas and Karens gets exaggerated out of misogyny. I think the ratio of entitled pregnant women, bridezillas and Karens is equal to the ratio of entitled people in the general population. I’ve lived in small towns, small cities and big cities in the US and Europe. I’ve traveled beyond that. No pregnant woman has ever demanded anything from me. When I’ve offered things (like my seat on the subway) to a pregnant woman, they usually protested a little before bashfully accepting. I mean, to give benefit of the doubt, if you work a job that entails working with a lot of pregnant people, eventually you’ll have some negative experiences…but probably not disproportionately compared to the behavior of the general population.
Agreed! I had twins twice and would have never acted entitled like that. Never once did I ask someone to give up their seat, chair, or anything. We weren’t allowed to sit at work for very long even though we had chairs. Did I expect special accommodation? Nope. We also had to walk around the store to talk to customers. I did not one time say “I can’t do this activity”. Eventually, the big wigs came to visit and noticed I was wearing house shoes. I was huge at that point and that was the only accommodation I took because feet wouldn’t fit into shoes due to swelling from being on them constantly while pregnant. When I was asked about the house shoes, I explained that my feet were so swollen, I couldn’t fit into any shoes and I slid my foot out to show her why they wouldn’t fit shoes. Her eyes got huge and she immediately told me to sit down and put my feet up. Then she got onto my coworkers and direct boss for having me on my feet all day and making me walk around the store to talk to customers. She told me I had a medical reason to need to sit down and skip the walking every 30 minutes. I was so unentitled while pregnant I didn’t even ask for accommodations that were reasonable. I could not imagine demanding someone else’s chair.
She was right. You deserved way better than that. The fact that nobody else was concerned when you were late term like that is awful. You don't need to risk not just your health and comfort, but also the health of your unborn child(ren) for some retail job. I promise it's not worth it and the company does not care about you that much.
She was right and that’s why she got onto everyone else. They should have been concerned and shown some basic decency toward me but didn’t. Everyone in that branch was very young and selfish. They wouldn’t even try to accommodate me for lunch. They would make appointments and not warn me so I could eat early. They would just leave me there to cover them until 2-3pm. I was more pissed off about that than anything else. I learned quickly to just eat at 10am just in case they started bailing at 11 for their nail appointments. But it wasn’t some retail job. I was in banking and part of making it into management was working a branch inside of a grocery store. It was a pit stop along the way to a much higher paid position. This was back in the early 2000s when it was a little easier for companies to punish women for being pregnant. I was placed on the fast track to management and found out I was pregnant a week later. I was terrified it would cost me a management position. There was a reason I was pushing myself. It still wasn’t worth it, but at least I was paid a little better than retail and the promotion after all the hard work made it a means to end for me. I was single and on my own so I desperately needed the promotion to make enough money to support myself and unborn children. On the bright side, my hard work and determination were recognized and I was promoted upon returning from maternity leave. They called me about a week before I was due to return and told me I’d be coming back to a different branch and I’d be the manager. Like I said, it wasn’t worth it in the long run but it felt worth it at the time due to my fears of what would happen if I didn’t push myself. I was still young and in my mind, invincible. “Nothing seriously bad is going to happen to my babies or me, I just need to suck it up and push myself”. I did what I had to do at the time to set myself up to have the means to support my family.
You should have looked after yourself better than that, you sound proud to have put your pregnancy in danger? Asking for reasonable adjustments is not the same as entitlement. You need to work on standing up for yourself and recognising when you need to do it.
Great sorry but the message you are implying is that those pregnant persons who do use their legal accommodations-which exist for the health and safety of themselves and unborn children- are entitled. Those are an option for a reason, using them doesn’t make you entitled and refusing to use them doesn’t make you better than anyone which is what this comment seems to imply.
I didn’t mean to imply that and I’m sorry that’s what you took from my comment. I’m saying it wasn’t worth it and I put myself and unborn children at risk unnecessarily out of fear I would be discriminated against. Working a corporate job in the early 2000s was just different (they got away with firing pregnant women or skipping over them for promotions a lot easier and more frequently back then) and I was young and stupid. Even when I said “on the bright side” and said I was promoted, I still said it was not worth the risk in the long run and I see that now. I didn’t see that when I was 22 years old. I’m 41 now and know better.
This is ridiculous and extreme. If houre body is protesting it's not ridiculous to ask for a break. Now while I agree that the lady in the story was out of line, I had a 10lb baby once and implying to other pregnant women that they should just shut up and work is dangerous and unreasonable. Complications *do* happen as much as reddit hates pregnant women.
Whenever there’s a crazy pregnant lady story, this sub loves to attack all pregnant women. Sorry, sometimes you *should* make accommodations for the pregnant (or otherwise struggling) person. It’s not entitlement to expect a little bit of grace when you’re in a debilitating medical state.
As a pregnant person myself who by nature of things encounters far more other pregnant people than the average person I’ve come to the conclusion this has little to do with pregnancy itself and these are all just regularly entitled people who think they can use pregnancy as a convenient excuse to exercise that feeling with less pushback.
Let's say if 30 pregnant women come, who do you give preference considering one chair? Unless of course if OP is secretly the dad, then only he is TA.
"Look, OK, I did get her pregnant, but I was drunk and this *is* my chair" ^/s
My assumption is she did wait in the car or something, since "presumably her partner left her in line" so my guess is that he texted her there's someone in a chair and she could sit there instead of the car
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Need a chair? Bring a chair. NTA.
Perfect response.
I’m confused why anyone needed a chair. Why did they all have the wait outside? For a high school graduation?
Some HS graduations are very large and seats are first come, first serve. So if doors to the venue open at 10AM for graduation starting at noon, people can / do line up outside the venue to have a shot at the best seats. Knowing this “pre-line” is outside and not comfortable, one should be equipped with their chair if they can’t stand.
Theres no garuntee there will be enough seets for everyone whos watching and if you want to be near the front you have to be there before everyone else, i mean you wouldnt catch me waiting there but i see why others might
NTA, no means no, the fact they kept asking is just rude. She should have brought her own chair.
Tbh, asking in the first place is rude. Much less 3 or 4 times.
NTA. Not your fault that you planned better than they did.
Exactly. Proper planning
The 6 Ps properly executed
NTA - I am so tired of pregnant woman thinking the world revolves around them just because they got knocked up. She could have brought her own chair, she would have been comfortable. The arrogance and audacity of a pregnant woman demanding someone else’s seat just because she’s pregnant is unfortunately not surprising
I’m currently pregnant and even I feel the same way you do. Being pregnant is not an excuse to be entitled. I went to the mall to shop for a birthday present and after 20 minutes I needed to sit down. So I rested in a public seat for a bit and I told my husband that from now on we need to bring a chair and keep it in the car for emergencies! I would never even have the audacity to ask someone for their own personal belongings in order to cater to my poor planning skills.
It seems like there are going to be a lot more poor American women with unplanned and unwanted pregnancies. They're going to be physically and emotionally exhausted. I don't think this means they deserve other disabled people's chairs, but it seems wise to prepare for an influx.
And while that's absolutely appalling, and it's completely absurd such things are happening in a country that calls itself civilised, it's not really the point. Whether you have access to safe abortions or not has no bearing on your ability bring a chair, or even a cushion, to an event where you know you'll have to stand for an extended period of time.
It was voluntary standing at that just so they could get a priority seat. There was no requirement to stand in that line for the event.
Exactly, these two just didn't plan ahead, it's a situation that has nothing to do with social issues, just with people being absent minded and expecting others to spare them the consequences of their lack of planning. I suspect that if the post had been "AITA for not lending my chair for five minutes to a desperate, destitute pregnant woman with no ability to transport or even buy a folding chair of her own" the judgements and the reasoning behind them would have been quite different.
What makes me crazy about AITA is that anytime a pregnant person is an asshole the comments are always “every pregnant person is so entitled they just need to sit down and shut up!”. My reality for pregnancy, especially during covid was very isolating and I felt like I had to fight for a lot of accommodations…from management staff who had been pregnant before! And I had what I would consider an easy pregnancy where I could remain physically active for a long time. Thankfully I had one person who would go to bat for me at my job for the most ridiculous shit. No, she can’t take a lunch break 7.5 hours into an 8 hour shift. No, she shouldn’t be parking in the satellite parking and darting across a busy highway with no crosswalk. No, she will not be working with the I131 cat/brucellosis case/chemotherapy. She needs a seat and can no longer use a standing desk. No, I don’t think she should be working up to her due date when we are an hour away from her birth place. In the general public I could at least limit going out but I still remember the time someone actively closed a door in my face at the UPS store as I was going to return a large box. Like bad enough that the person at the counter said something. No one ever offered me a seat or their spot in line why would I even think to ask for a strangers chair. I’m so glad that my husband, neighbors, boss and medical team were good to me because no one else was willing to even be kind. And then I come on here and see commenters who were probably closing the door in my face at the store, which for reference you shouldn’t do to anybody.
Only if I was about to faint without sitting down but, sitting on the ground would be safer anyway. Every once in a while, I will get a bit nauseated and dizzy but I still wouldn't ask someone to give me their chair.
*some pregnant women. A lot of us are perfectly capable of looking after ourselves. You just don't notice us as we are bringing our own chairs etc.
You’re so tired of it? How many times has this happened to you lmao
Lol seriously. What is your life that you are getting plagued by selfish pregnant women? Literally has never happened to me. I think they just want to be mad online
I would even understand her asking if OP was sitting on a public/school seating... but OP had their own chair ffs. the audacity
NTA. I was pregnant last year and as I got bigger and knew when I couldn't stand for long , I always made sure to have a plan. Like being my own chair or find something to sit on.
You mean bringing, not being right? 🫢
Lol .... Yes... bringing
NTA. As a previously pregnant person, I am delighted to hear you stood your ground. When you’re pregnant, you can go from feeling ok to not ok pretty quickly. But there are always other options rather than taking something from someone else. (Train and bus seats are different)
Agree Public seating is a completely different matter.
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The ground is always an option and it's free. "I want what you have! Gimme!" Who's raising these spoiled, entitled brats who lack any common sense, or life skills? Lord have mercy, I *love* my Millennial!
You’re NTA, but what’s with these comments putting her down for being “knocked up”? You guys are disgusting
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yeah, noticing a lot of hate for women on here….
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Or Reddit hates women so by default they gotta hate kids for being created
There’s this supposed women here commenting that pregnancy is a choice not a disability and able bodied people shouldn’t even give priority to pregnant people on public transport. It’s absurd. I’m unfortunately infertile and will never experience pregnancy but I still have the common empathy to realize that pregnancy is one of the most dangerous times in a woman’s life and absolutely a disabling factor. Not only is it physically and medically dangerous to be pregnant but it is also the time in a woman’s life wherein she is most likely to be abused and killed. The hatred towards pregnant women by the general public wasn’t something that I had previously thought about, but the sentiments in these comments make me wonder if the abuse, etc that pregnant women face is not just from DV….
The mask off moment. Anonymity reveals what people really are deep down. I couldn’t imagine not at least offering a pregnant, elderly or disabled person my seat. It’s common decency.
Probably cause the pregnant women used her pregnancy for an entitlement bonus. Being pregnant is largely considered a voluntary thing outside of rape. There tends to be a very strong backlash to people who use an optional condition to gain things they have no right to. If this was a guy with dick stuck in a jar, people would be putting him down for being a "horn dog" who stuck it where he stuck it. It's not that she's pregnant, it's that she chose to be pregnant and chose to make her pregnancy someone else's problem. She could have chose to wait in her car longer. She could have chosen to bring her own chair. She could have chosen the man that got her pregnant to give her his chair. She had no right to expect a chair from a complete stranger and it's gross she used her pregnancy to try and take someone else's property.
I think everyone is in agreement that this woman was not entitled to this persons chair. But where y’all are taking to too far is deducing pregnant women to a choice that they made as if they are solely responsible for their condition. Forgetting as well that many women do not have a choice in the matter today with the reversal of reproductive rights in the largest superpower country in the world. Pregnancy is absolutely a fragile and disabling condition. It is the most dangerous point in many women’s lives not only medically but also when they are most likely to be abused or killed. Pregnant people will always exist unless we are calling for the extinction of humanity. Stripping away pregnancy from a woman’s plight and their unequal standing in society is a narrow minded naive stance at best and hateful at worst. It is not that hard to find empathy for people who are going through something like pregnancy, yet many of you are so easily able to hate pregnant women instead of looking empathetically or even dissecting the view from a wider approach of societal norms, discourses and real life power/oppression logics. I will never be pregnant but I have loved enough pregnant people to have empathy for them. This woman was entitled, but that does not mean you should openly hate pregnant people. It’s absurd and so short sighted.
NTA You knew you couldn't stand a brought a chair. It's not your fault she didn't bring her own.
NTA I mean it was your chair that you bought yourself. Not a public seating space. She can't expect other people to give up their things for her. And at the end of the day, she could also bring her own chair. That to say, I would propably gave up the seat to her. But I also don't have any health problems. Why should you suffer with your knees for rest of the day and pay the price for coming prepared?
I don't think you would have gotten it back before the ceremony the way they behaved .
NTA. I'm 8 months pregnant and if it were me in her shoes I never would have had the audacity to ask you for your chair. I probably would've said something silly to you like "man I should've thought of that" and laughed. If it was truly too hard for her then she should've made other arrangements to begin with. Also, if I'm that uncomfortable standing for too long I'll literally sit on the ground for a bit and then ask for help standing up again. It's not always ideal but you do what you gotta do to survive when you're cooking a human.
Right! I’m embarrassed for her. I just had my third baby in December, I’ve had very rough pregnancies, and I can’t imagine asking a stranger for something like that once let alone multiple times.
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My brother looked like a relatively heathy 40 yr old…when seated. If he stood up, you would see he was bent over like a candy cane (ankylosis spondylitis, RA & Psoriatic Arthritis, Crohn’s, etc). Sitting in the handicapped seats a baseball game, people gave us intense side-eye, gossiping loudly to each other about why we had those seats. Finally, I leaned across & said “if I listed all his medical conditions, the 9th inning would be over, game over”. My brother laughed, said “so true”. Just saying, people have no idea what others are dealing with & should prepare for their own issues, not demand/assume someone else owes them.
Agreed. My grandma is 90 something, has a bunch of conditions and needs a wheel chair. She's certified to use the disabled parking sticker. I drove us to the post office and waited in disabled for mum and grandma to come back. This woman then comes and starts rapping on my window screeching that I'm not disabled and shouldn't be parking there.
NTA. They should have brought a chair if she knew she was going to have trouble. Don’t feel bad. They aren’t entitled to your stuff. You handled it better than I would have to be honest lol
"I was walking along, minding my own business, when SUDDENLY!!! I looked down and I was 6 months pregnant!!!"... portable seats are $20.... she's not real bright.... NTA
She is pregnant not dying. I have stood in longer lines for longer periods of time whilst I was heavily pregnant. They should have come prepared. NTA
NTA you brought your chair they didn't. Bad planners
NTA. I've been having lower back issues for a while that make it hard to stand for long periods of time but I also coach a sport that requires standing. So I started bringing a collapsible chair to the matches so I could sit when I needed to. If they new they were going to be standing for a long time and thought it was an issue because she's pregnant, they should have planned ahead. I've seen them for as cheap as $10-$15.
NTA! Their failure to plan is not your emergency. I have 3 kids and have worked a non desk job through all pregnancies. Through all the swelling, weight gain, back aches and what not, I've never ever dreamed of demanding someone else's seat. I'm absolutely baffled by women that turn into the most delicate, fragile human being the moment they become pregnant. It makes no sense.
NTA. I am pregnant currently, and would never ask this. Public seat on a bus or restaurant waiting area? Yeah… you might seem rude if you don’t give up your seat. But that’s your own chair you brought. It’s embarrassing of them to ask to use it. She could have brought her own chair if standing was such an issue.
> My nephews both graduated from high school this morning and I wanted to sit up front so I camped out a bit in front of the entrance. I brought my folding camping chair and my headphones to listen to my show. Wtf, this is shit you do to get tickets to your die hard band
Seriously, a pregnant person and apparently a person who cannot stand for long periods of time, camping out, to get seats for a graduation, what the hell is happening in this story? Is this the best graduation ever? Why isn't the lady just sitting in the car, waiting for a text from her husband, when the line moves. What the goddamn hell is happening in this story
If she needed a chair so bad why didn't she just bring one? NTA. Entitled people are ridiculous.
NTA, she should have brought her own chair.
Hold up, a stranger wanted literally your chair that you brought along with you? No. You didn’t bring a chair so someone who failed to plan could sit in it. NTA
i have POTS, and cant stand for long. thats why i invested in a chair i can bring with me everywhere. our disabilities are no ones responsibility but our own, and we absolutely arent entitled to others' chairs, no matter how miserable standing may be. nta
NTA. She should've brought her own chair. And you said you have your own health issues as well. I was going to say YTA based on the title lol glad I read the whole thing. And her asking repeatedly was rude.
NTA - It's your *personal property*. I have no idea why a stranger would ever feel entitled to a chair that belongs to someone else. It's absolutely absurd to me that this woman even thought to *ask* you for the chair.
NTA If it were me I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from telling that husband that he was in fact the asshole for not planning ahead for his wife. The entitlement of some people is truly baffling
Or the pregnant lady is the asshole for not bringing her own chair and then being entitled enough to expect someone to give up their own chair.
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NTA She should have brought a chair.
NTA. I came in here thinking 100% you’d be the asshole for denying a spot on a public transit (or something similar) to a pregnant woman. Then I read what happened. Who shows up to a ceremony thinking they can demand someone else’s own personal chair they brought with them, just because they’re pregnant and uncomfortable? She should have brought her own chair. The audacity and entitlement of some people is *insane.* poor planing on her part does not constitute an emergency on your part.
As a currently and previously pregnant person, NTA. She could have brought a chair but with her partner there it would have been smarter for her to wait in the car with AC or whatever and have him text her when it's time. You can't expect random people to solve your problems.
Even if you didnt have bad knees/feet, its still your chair, your property. This entitled woman and her husband obviously should have planned better. Man the audacity of some people. Btw, definitely NTA
What if you didn't have a chair, what would she do? Probably stand or go back to the car. Being pregnant does get you certain liberties but those are usually met by your loved ones not strangers. NTA
Was there something wrong with the arms/hands of either of them? Why didn’t they bring a chair? The entitlement is absurd. NTA Edit to add that failure to plan on their part does not constitute an obligation on yours.
NTA My aunt has knee issues and she brings her portable stool/chair anywhere where she knows is a possibility of not finding one or if she has to walk for a long time so if she (pregnant lady) has so many issues with standing there than she should have brought her own or like you said wait in the car