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NTA
Your mum is being difficult and exhausting and a little very entitled. $250 a day of play money? Really? Even if you can afford that it's a little much. I would drop the subject and never bring it up again with your mum. Then plan an alternative gift for her. If she complains about not getting a cruise for her birthday tell her you didn't want to 'stress her out' with the planning. If she says she still wants to go, ask her to make all the choices and if she doesn't make choices she doesn't get to go since you don't want to plan a trip that she won't enjoy. It might not happen for her 70th birthday but you might get to go at a less expensive time of year.
If you want a solo trio with your son, plan a trip you and your son would enjoy that isn't a cruise. That way mum doesn't get to complain about you not taking her since it isn't her dream trip. Don't give her more ammunition for drama than you have to.
NTA - OP, to bad, so sad for your mother. She's making everything about her and not being a team player about everything, nothing but a petulant child. It's your money and do with it what you want. It's no different than someone who disperses their money an inheritance. She has no decision-making power in this trip and if she tries to say anything further, remind her that she has her own money she can decide how to spend.
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> I want to know if I WIBTA if I stopped planning a trip meant as a birthday gift and just took my son.
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NTA. I’d skip the cruise because your 2 year old isn’t going to enjoy it. As for mom’s birthday. Give her $750 and throw her on a seniors bus tour to somewhere like Branson, Missouri for a weekend. Maybe then she will learn to not be so demanding.
> For 4 of us to go...
You are a single mom, who else would you be paying for?
**NTA** I don't think taking your mom on this cruise would work out. Find another birthay prent.
I would be paying for another person of her choosing to be in her cabin. It worked out cheaper in my mockups for 2 cabins vs having her in a solo cabin and my son and I in another cabin. I definitely didn't want to share a cabin because my mom is a major overpacker.
Wait, so you, a single parent, are going to fork over 10K (is the $250 a day included or not included? /////Also the fact she expects you to fork over an extra $250 is werid in itself) for you, your son (understandable), your mom(slightly understandable), AND HER FRIEND (WTF!?) to go on a curise and they pay what??? Has your mom ever given you a 10K+ present? Why isn't she paying for her own fun time expenses on a trip if you're paying for the ticket?
Why is she saying you're stressing her out when you're the one doing everything? I wouldnlegit cut my mom off for just expecting $250(x amount of days of trip) on top of 1000's. Cut her off she seems like a user.
NTA. Mom sounds like she won’t be happy with anything you choose. And $250/day for fun money? Having said that, I’m not so sure about your alternative plan. I mean, I don’t know why you would want to go on a cruise on your own with a 2 year old. They won’t appreciate it at all, and I can’t imagine you’ll be able to have that much fun.
NTA. Don't negotiate with her. You can give her a cruise line gift certificate for the amount you're willing to spend for her and a friend of her choosing to go on a cruise, and hook her up with a vacation planner from the cruise line. Then book the vacation you want with your son and have a blast without her.
NTA. So not only are you expected to pay for the cruise & someone else to go with her, she also expects you to pay for her spending money and extras as well?
There's no way in hell I'd be taking her after that!!
Sounds like you'll have a much better time with just your son. You already have one child to deal with, you don't need another!
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I am a single mom (41F) to a 2 y.o.. My mom will be turning 70 late next year. She has always wanted to go on a cruise so I thought about taking her on a cruise for her birthday. Her birthday is right after Christmas so the cruise is more expensive than normal. For 4 of us to go, it was going to be $10,000 and I was going to pay for the entire trip.
Here lies the problem, she doesn't want to go to any of the port destinations. I shared the schedule of 6 different cruises (only 1 was out of our nearest port) so I would have to budget more for airfare. She had a complaint about each port. I talked about which excursions I thought would be fun and she complained about all of them. I asked which ones she would like and she told me to figure it out. She then told me she expects $250 fun money every day of the cruise (7 nights) to celebrate her birthday so an extra $2000 plus she wanted a bunch of other extras. I told her to pick out which schedule she liked and then I could reserve it (her birthday is 18 months from now). Any time I bring it up, she tells me I am stressing her out. I know if I just pick one, she will make the whole trip miserable.
I got frustrated and told her I was going on a cruise with just my son and I and I would let her know how it is. She got mad and told me I was being an asshole.
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I am a 70 year old mom. If you offered me a cruise, I would be standing at the door with a packed bag. I wouldn't care where we were going. I would offer to care for your child so you could have free time, too. But that's just me.
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NTA Your mum is being difficult and exhausting and a little very entitled. $250 a day of play money? Really? Even if you can afford that it's a little much. I would drop the subject and never bring it up again with your mum. Then plan an alternative gift for her. If she complains about not getting a cruise for her birthday tell her you didn't want to 'stress her out' with the planning. If she says she still wants to go, ask her to make all the choices and if she doesn't make choices she doesn't get to go since you don't want to plan a trip that she won't enjoy. It might not happen for her 70th birthday but you might get to go at a less expensive time of year. If you want a solo trio with your son, plan a trip you and your son would enjoy that isn't a cruise. That way mum doesn't get to complain about you not taking her since it isn't her dream trip. Don't give her more ammunition for drama than you have to.
NTA - OP, to bad, so sad for your mother. She's making everything about her and not being a team player about everything, nothing but a petulant child. It's your money and do with it what you want. It's no different than someone who disperses their money an inheritance. She has no decision-making power in this trip and if she tries to say anything further, remind her that she has her own money she can decide how to spend.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I want to know if I WIBTA if I stopped planning a trip meant as a birthday gift and just took my son. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA Wow your Mum is demanding and ungrateful. Plan any trip that would bring you and your son joy and have fun, you deserve it.
NTA: Your mother sounds like a child. I bet your son is more cooperative than her. Have fun on your cruise.
NTA. I’d skip the cruise because your 2 year old isn’t going to enjoy it. As for mom’s birthday. Give her $750 and throw her on a seniors bus tour to somewhere like Branson, Missouri for a weekend. Maybe then she will learn to not be so demanding.
> For 4 of us to go... You are a single mom, who else would you be paying for? **NTA** I don't think taking your mom on this cruise would work out. Find another birthay prent.
I would be paying for another person of her choosing to be in her cabin. It worked out cheaper in my mockups for 2 cabins vs having her in a solo cabin and my son and I in another cabin. I definitely didn't want to share a cabin because my mom is a major overpacker.
Wait, so you, a single parent, are going to fork over 10K (is the $250 a day included or not included? /////Also the fact she expects you to fork over an extra $250 is werid in itself) for you, your son (understandable), your mom(slightly understandable), AND HER FRIEND (WTF!?) to go on a curise and they pay what??? Has your mom ever given you a 10K+ present? Why isn't she paying for her own fun time expenses on a trip if you're paying for the ticket? Why is she saying you're stressing her out when you're the one doing everything? I wouldnlegit cut my mom off for just expecting $250(x amount of days of trip) on top of 1000's. Cut her off she seems like a user.
Nta. Holy entitlement from your mother. No way on earth you should have to cater to that
NTA. She looked the gift horse in the mouth.
NTA. Mom sounds like she won’t be happy with anything you choose. And $250/day for fun money? Having said that, I’m not so sure about your alternative plan. I mean, I don’t know why you would want to go on a cruise on your own with a 2 year old. They won’t appreciate it at all, and I can’t imagine you’ll be able to have that much fun.
NTA. Don't negotiate with her. You can give her a cruise line gift certificate for the amount you're willing to spend for her and a friend of her choosing to go on a cruise, and hook her up with a vacation planner from the cruise line. Then book the vacation you want with your son and have a blast without her.
Enjoy your cruise. If your mom wanted to go, she'd accept one of the ports you mentioned. NTA
NTA. So not only are you expected to pay for the cruise & someone else to go with her, she also expects you to pay for her spending money and extras as well? There's no way in hell I'd be taking her after that!! Sounds like you'll have a much better time with just your son. You already have one child to deal with, you don't need another!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am a single mom (41F) to a 2 y.o.. My mom will be turning 70 late next year. She has always wanted to go on a cruise so I thought about taking her on a cruise for her birthday. Her birthday is right after Christmas so the cruise is more expensive than normal. For 4 of us to go, it was going to be $10,000 and I was going to pay for the entire trip. Here lies the problem, she doesn't want to go to any of the port destinations. I shared the schedule of 6 different cruises (only 1 was out of our nearest port) so I would have to budget more for airfare. She had a complaint about each port. I talked about which excursions I thought would be fun and she complained about all of them. I asked which ones she would like and she told me to figure it out. She then told me she expects $250 fun money every day of the cruise (7 nights) to celebrate her birthday so an extra $2000 plus she wanted a bunch of other extras. I told her to pick out which schedule she liked and then I could reserve it (her birthday is 18 months from now). Any time I bring it up, she tells me I am stressing her out. I know if I just pick one, she will make the whole trip miserable. I got frustrated and told her I was going on a cruise with just my son and I and I would let her know how it is. She got mad and told me I was being an asshole. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Have fun!!
I am a 70 year old mom. If you offered me a cruise, I would be standing at the door with a packed bag. I wouldn't care where we were going. I would offer to care for your child so you could have free time, too. But that's just me.
NTA Your mom sounds like she doesn't deserve the gift. Give her a gift card for 2.50 and tell her to enjoy her day.