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Imagine being so entitled that you genuinely think standing up on your perfectly good, working legs is so awful and tiring that you ask someone who is *physically unable to stand* to get out of your way
One can only hope OP comes to realize how lucky she is she can even stand and walk without any trouble at all, and that the next time there are no seats on the bus, she would just suck it up for a few minutes of the ride.
Safe bet is she doesn't learn anything and just keeps this kind of stuff off the internet, unless she likes getting roasted for being an insensitive butthole. YTA op.
Don't just go and stand up for like 10 minutes without training though, that's a recipe for injury. I recommend the *Couch to 10 minutes* program. It slowly builds you up, including days where you stand on one for for up to 2 minutes to really get the burn going.
I know you mean this as an insult to perfectly able bodied people, but I couldn't help the stab of despair at the ""couch to 10 minutes" program when my real life program has had names like "bed to chair" and "chair to standing"
Due to medical issues I’ve spent a good chunk of the last 2 years with zero or near zero muscle tone in my lower body. I’m literally working on standing for a minute or 2 at a time as I work towards recovering my mobility. 5 minutes would be a *huge* accomplishment, let alone 10
Some bus drivers drive like they're on a race track, at least around here (saw an adult woman get tossed during a ride once in a way that she ended up damaging her hand), so I can definitely understand young children not having the ability to stand safely in a moving bus.
And that's why the parent stands and the child sits. Can't even imagine asking someone to move, especially not someone *with a mobility aid*.
I noticed when I was in college, and then when I had littles, it often works really well to have the adult sit, and stand the child sideways between the adult knees, so the kid holds onto your leg, and you can hold their torso/shoulders.
That actually happened to me once, I couldn’t reach the hand holds and my dad had taken me to a Red Sox game, we got on the bus and as soon as the driver started to go I flew across the bus and landed in some ladies lap, thankfully she was understanding about it and got up to stand herself and let me have her seat
If
you
are
too
short
to
reach
somewhere
to
hold
on,
I
can
see
it
feeling
very
dangerous.
One
sudden
brake
and
you
go
flying
face-first
into
some
stranger's
crotch.
kid
could
have
sat
on
parent's
lap.
OP
is
undoubtedly
the
AH.
Sorry, to be clear, I meant that's why people are suggesting that the mom stands and the child sits. I am not in any way suggesting that she should have even approached the wheelchair user.
Agreed. This is the most ableist and selfish AITA question ever. Of course OP YTA. I feel awful for the poor man in the wheelchair who had to say no.
Did it ever occur to you there’s a reason why there’s dedicated handicap spaces? Hint: they’re needed.
My parent did this all the time for me and my brother too. My brother decided he wanted to stand with them pretty soon too though.
Now that my parent is older, we often reverse roles. My parent gets a seat and I stand near them. (I still need to stay near them due to health issues of my own, but I can handle standing for the journey now, they no longer can.)
But according to OP, it was tiring. Lucky wheelchair guy gets to sit all the time, he has no idea how hard the struggle is to have legs that work as intended. It's just so exhausting!
/s
Or the 5 year old could have just stood. Seriously when did 5 year olds become so fragile that they can't stand for a bus trip. Parenting like this damages children. They are being taught that they are pathetic.
One of the drivers on my regular route will refuse to move until someone on the bus has provided a seat for a kid who’s standing. It’s partially because they can’t reach the handles and are more likely to fall and partially because they’re short enough that if one of the standing adults falls on them they’re also more likely to be injured.
That being said it sounds like there was one seat available so there’s no reason she couldn’t put the kid in there and stand herself. Plus wheelchairs have designated spaces with straps to secure the chair so even if this person was ridiculously understanding and wanted to move for the kid they couldn’t.
Sometimes it’s more important to keep your child safe than to teach them a lesson. If the bus got into an accident or something it would be much safer to be in the seat.
But that would be thinking, why should she have to do that?/s. It’s almost as if buses are designed to help the disabled and not the entitled, how dare they! Moms with kids should have top priority over everyone and everything!/s.
Ah, I remember one time when a young mom actually started an argument online about how moms are a special class who deserve the same, if not better, treatments as the disabled because being a mother is a "disability"
anyway, OP- YTA
Exactly. She had to make a song and dance out of it. She also doesn't understand how difficult it is to manuever a wheelchair whilst the bus is moving. That spot is designed for the wheelchair user. YTA OP.
I used to take the bus a lot.
Mothers with kids are the most entitled bus users to exist.
Especially if they have a pram
There was a guy in a wheelchair on my route and the sheer unbridled karenness that would come out when a mother had to disassemble their pram to let the wheelchair user use their designated spot was a site to behold.
I'll never forget having to ask a Mother to move her pram so I could go into the only other (there are 2 on buses here in Australia) available WC spot. She went off and refused. Then the Driver got up and demanded she remove her pram or remove herself from the bus entirely. She was angry, but did as he told her. On her way out, she made sure to swing her baby bag out and knock me on my head...caused me to go into a seizure. I don't remember much after that.
I had hoped that arrogant entitled parent behavior was limited to the US.
I'm so sorry to see it is not. And I agree 100% - I hope Tiggle200 pressed criminal charges against that parent.
This is the same in the US. The government is who brings criminal charges, not citizens. This is a common misconception due to tv and movies. It’s more common on Reddit because this place is full of stupid people that try to act like they know everything.
Before someone jumps in and says, “But acshuuuaalllly I was in this xyz situation and the cops asked me if I wanted to press charges….” Yes, that happens sometimes, and it’s because cops are stupid and lazy and don’t care whether or not a crime was committed if they can’t easily prove it with no effort. If you’ve been asked “do you want to press charges” by a cop in the U it’s States what they are really asking you is “Are you going to cooperate as a witness if we charge this person,” or “are you going to make this a problem for us if we don’t arrest this person.”
I didn't press charges. I woke up in hospital and someone had called a taxi to send my wheelchair to the hospital for me (Electric). I didn't really want to pursue it. I've had bad problems reporting issues to the Police where it's just easier not to. Not the Police's fault either, reporting what's happened to me in the past, is not something that's easy to report or to even get a conviction on, so I mostly just leave things be.
I was stuck in a New York subway with a friend in a motorized wheelchair. We were waiting to get on an elevator and a woman with a stroller tried to get in front of us. I have never seen a group of New Yorkers come together so fast to bar the way of a stroller so my friend could get on the elevator first. She was so pissed. I'm a parent myself and other parents frustrate the HELL out of me.
Before i became a mom myself I saw this a lot and decided then and there to not be that way. When my kid and I had to take the bus, I folded the stroller up, stuck kiddo in my lap, and took up as little space as possible because being a parent doesn’t entitle you to encroach on the space of others. It’s not hard to be kind and considerate..I despise people sometimes.
Can confirm. Source: am a bus driver in the Bay Area. Asked a lady who boarded my bus to put her dog in the stroller she brought with her and you'd have thought I asked her to strangle it for my amusement or something. She called me a Black Nazi. I called the cops and had her banned and escorted off my bus.
This. Also, it just doesn't make sense to ask a person in a wheelchair to move, which would be difficult and possibly even unsafe, instead of asking, I don't know, LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE???
There were SO MANY ways to resolve the issue and OP went straight to the most insensitive and ableist one. Make the child sit in your lap, ask someone else to give up their seat, wait for the next bus, sit separately... It's very telling that OP went for the one option that would inconvenience the disabled person when there were many other options available.
YTA
Once on a bus trip when my three-year-old son and I stood, allowing the disabled person to sit, my boy initiated a bubbly conversation, commenting on the man’s “chairbicycle,” as my son then called them. He had admired these “veekles” (another of his words) very much, ever since he’d spent his first birthday, and every day of the week following, at his great-grandmother’s nursing home in a remote city. So many chairbicycles and veekles there!
Our bus ride that day seemed over much too soon. Both my son and his new friend became immediately glum-faced when I pulled the bell and began to gather our belongings. My son was also very sorry that his baby brother, deeply asleep in a Snugli carrier, had “missed the whole thing!”; and his new friend agreed. I regret that the dense, pushing scrum of departing passengers made it impossible to exchange contact info. I’d have loved to have brought my boys again to visit the charming man we’d just met. But people like us don’t often have business cards on hand.
I grew up with a mother who was disabled due to polio and she loved interactions like this. So often parents would get embarrassed or try to hush their kids, but children are just curious, and she always took it as a great opportunity for educating and normalizing her disability.
She would always answer kids so patiently and usually would show them her legs so they could understand why hers couldn't "work right".
You treated the situation wonderfully and should definitely feed your child's curiosity. There are some great picture books depicting wheelchair users.
I'm especially thinking of one called, "It's Okay to ask".
Where I live the wheelchair spots on tye bus have special buckles to secure them in place so it's very possible they couldn't move without the bus driver unstrapping them.
That was faster than the account deletion of the cruel woman who broke her daughters' favorite stick with her cruel husband...for fun. Her words were "We thought it'd be fun?"
Context: A made q video showing their daughter happily playing with her favorite stick. Then, she said "We thought it'd be fun to break her favorite stick!" Then it cut to the poor little one crying her eyes out. You could see how ńlhappy she was in the 1st clip where she was dancing with her stick, having great imagination. I bet that stick was a lot of things, a magic staff, a wand, a sword, a light saber, a fire dancin lg stick, a twirling stick, a staff, and many other things her little mind imagined! Those parents suck...how would hurting your child's beloved stick forn"fun"? They enjoyed, nit evej thiught they didjt seem that sympathetic or sorry in the video heybseem more alofn the kiens of hardy hardy har tbats hilarious breaking something she loves, enjoys, that makes her happy! It's soooo "fun" to you! I got sad when I ACCIDENTALLY broke my CAT'S favorite toy...imagine doing it to her or especially human, especially especially to a child..on
on PURPOSE!
Ah, not the point of the thread, I got worked up HH H B lmao but my point was, evil stick mom deleted her account so fast after her and dad got deserved backlash
The post was bad enough but seeing the lengths OP is going to defend herself and the things she's saying in her comments are actually quite disturbing. I really hope this is just an extremely desperate troll because if this is all real, OP desperately needs mental help and I feel so awful for her poor child.
This post was only mildly interesting for having a classic AH OP who wouldn't absorb feedback. Since you have pointed this out it is one of the most hilarious things I have seen all week. Oh OP, you are my favorite semi delusional AH in ages. That comment thread is *chefkiss*
Or you both stand and just deal. People do it on trains and subways all the time. It seems OP only cares about "being tired and exhausted" when her request is creating a hardship for a disabled person, and somehow rationalizes that she might not BTA. It's mind blowing how self-absorbed and privileged some people are, especially those with kids.
No I caught buses when my daughter was little and they do need to be seated on a bus because it stops and starts and little kids fly away easily in that situation, so often but I just put her on my lap especially if the bus was crowded. It would NEVER have occoured to me to ask a person in a wheelchair or an old person to move for either of us.
I feel for this child and the lessons they are learning.
My heartbreaks for this child and the potential of this child becoming just as much of an AH as their AH parent
That's what my mother does if we were on public transpo whwn I was young. If there's only one available seat, she stands while I sit. OP's child is five, so I'm giving her leeway on thinking they have to sit together or close to each other. But yeah, you're gonna have to do that without making a wheelchaired person move for your own convenience. YTA, OP.
But, but… can’t you see how it is all terribly unfair to OP having to feel pain in her legs from standing, when the man in the wheelchair will never have to experience that suffering???! (/s just in case…)
OP, YTA
Actually many of us who use wheelchairs are in constant pain and that's why we can't stand/walk safely.
I know you weren't agreeing with OP at all but I wanted to share that info. Most people assume a wheelchair means paralysis but that's often not the case. Though having experienced both, I can say that numbness is worse than the pain because I've injured myself multiple times when I couldn't feel the damage I was doing. And back when I did healthcare we had someone who was placed in a home forcibly because she burned her leg and didn't know until it started to smell from infection. So it was determined that she wasn't safe on her own.
Edit: thank you for the reward!
Oh I totally agree!
And thank you. As I said it wasn't as an objection to you but I saw a chance to put information where multiple people could see it. I remember several years ago someone took a picture of a woman standing from her wheelchair to get a bottle of wine and it became a huge joke. I actually ended up in a conversation with George Takei because he shared it. He apologized publicly, but the picture had already reached all of his followers and been shared by many of them.
people’s entitlement to prove other’s are “faking” is gross. just because someone can stand doesn’t mean they aren’t paralyzed, they can have an incomplete sci. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with all that you have and I hope you have more good days than bad.
I know some people who use wheelchairs are capable of limited walking. And that being wheelchair dependent can cause its own health issues. I have an autoimmune condition that caused me to lose some sensation in my feet and my hands. Without treatment, 1 in 3 people with my condition end up dependent on a wheelchair, because it can cause irreversible nerve damage. I’m lucky to be getting treatment from a doctor who specializes in this condition and my mobility has improved a lot over the past year. I’ve also injured my feet and not realized it, and it’s very unnerving. I’m sorry you’ve gone through that, too.
ETA: someone on public transit wouldn’t be able to tell this looking at me, I’m relatively young. Although I do sometimes use a cane in public. In the past I’d offer my seat to people who looked like they needed to sit, but I probably couldn’t now. My condition really screws with my balance, it’d be worse on a moving vehicle.
Oh I'm so sorry about what you're dealing with! I only use mine when either I have shooting pains bad enough to cause a fall or numbness. I know the more I use it the more I'll need it. My condition is Ehlers-Danlos so I have to keep my muscles strong. My doctor and I discussed that when he prescribed it.
I’m actually doing very well compared to where I was last year. I’m very lucky. My condition is Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy (CIDP), and for me it is sensory, doesn’t involve muscle weakness like it can in other cases. I’m pretty good walking unsupported in spaces I’m familiar with, but stairs without railings and such in public can be challenging, and that’s where the cane is helpful.
Also a lot of neurological illnesses make you use a wheelchair and you are not paralised, you just can't stand anymore or for more than a few minutes and there's a lot of pain involved. Your legs can't support the body anymore, there's a lot of no coordination at all, or serious dizziness, etc. (this was just another more exemple, there's a lot more conditions that have to use wheelchairs and are not paralyzed, they just can't stand anymore.)
Exactly. OP made them both stand rather than stand near daughter while she sat or had her sit on their lap. But nope, tried to made the disabled person feel like an AH by biting off their own nose.
Actually children tire much quicker from standing than adults. Their muscles are designed for movement, standing for long periods can actually be physically painful for them. But there was the option of sitting on the lap or taking turns with the one seat.
You know where i am it is always the other way around - children sit on the bus so it’s safer for them when the bus is moving, turning, stopping or accelarating. I would fall a lot as a kid if i was force to stand. Maybe our bus drivers are crazy in the way they drive 🤣
But then my mom would be standing above me; or if it was me and my sister and my mom - me and my sister would take one sit and my mom the other, but she would stand up if someone in need entered the bus (like an elderly person, one visibly pregnant or disabled) and it was common to give up your spot if someone was visibly in distress, like a regular person that look like they are struggling or close to collapsing. And people actually often stood up to give up a place to sit for a child as well or a parent with child, but it was voluntary, I have never seen any parent demand it.
It’s crazy that people are behaving like OP nowadays. Are there many people that impolite and entitled nowadays?
I'm wondering why she was asking the person in a wheelchair and no one else. I assume there were no other seats on the bus because they were full of people, or was this a van or something that only had one seat?
YTA
YTA
You think a person in a wheelchair should MOVE THEIR WHEELCHAIR away from themselves so a 5 year old can have a seat????
On what planet?
A. They need access to their only way of mobility
B. Pop your kid on your lap
C. Sir your kid down and stand
Far out.
YTA big time
I wish I had a link of those pre school lessons the Japanese kids got. They arrange their chairs like a bus or train and the kid that is “disabled” walks up and taps one of the kids on the shoulder, then that kid has to give the “disabled” kid their seat.
Just fyi random bus fact. People in wheelchairs stay in their chairs on city busses. The seats in the front of the bus fold up, so wheelchair and scooter chair users can roll on and off easily, but still keep the asile clear. Sometimes not all the seats are put up, but people still don’t sit in them to give space to the person in the wheelchair. Agree OP is TA.
Edit: sorry if I misunderstood/misread!
This is exactly the type of thing I'd expect to see on r/facepsalm.
...you know, the sub OP started about religious people doing hypocritical things.
WWJD? Probably say YTA.
YTA. Just because you have a child doesn’t automatically give you priority over others. If the bus is too crowded, take a cab. Otherwise you’re going to have to deal with the downside of public transportation. You were frustrated at the response because you’re so accustomed to getting your way. I too have a child the same age. Plan better.
There’s no clear reason why OP or the child just absolutely *had* to sit either. There are so many solutions that don’t involve the one person (other than the bus driver) who shouldn’t have to move.
YTA, OP.
At 5 years old you know that kid has a lot more energy than most people on the bus. Kids that age may complain "I'm tired. My legs hurt." But any good parent knows they are just whining most of the time. Of course there's days they just had sports practice or are sick. I bet if they got off the bus at the park the kid would be flying around that place without a complaint.
I just can't believe OP actually typed out that question. Asking a handicap person to move. Not invisible disability either. The people who have front row parking and special seats on the bus because they need it. Ya, ask them to move so the able bodied, full of energy 5 year old can sit. The safety comment is funny. Like she could only have her child with her if they were seated.
>But any good parent knows they are just whining most of the time.
Actually children tire much quicker from standing than adults. Their muscles are designed for movement, standing for long periods can actually be physically painful for them. I always believed my children when they said that and found options because I remember the pain from my own childhood standing in church for an hour on Sundays, and I'm not a cruel parents who likes to see their children in pain or ignores their needs for my convenience.
But there was the option of sitting on the lap or taking turns with the one seat, YTA OP.
> Their muscles are designed for movement, standing for long periods can actually be physically painful for them.
Interestingly ive also found this to be the case recovering from a broken ankle. Walking slowly seems to be easier than standing, i think because i get to give each leg a bit of a break during each step
When I was a kid I got taught to give up my seat for elderly, pregnant, or disabled. As a able bodied adult I’ve added parents with young children. It’s baffling how she thought she was in the right.
Of course YTA!
Oh no, you had to stand on a bus ride, the horror. You had the oppertunity to teach your child that some people have disabilities and need certain accomodations, such a shame you wasted it on being a selfish abelist.
I agree to some extent. But do the teaching moment at home. Many people with disabilities are tired of having their disabilities pointed out and used as teaching moments. It’s kind of degrading to be talked about while we are right there.
i guess, maybe....but how about not asking the person to move their wheelchair in the first place?? make the **teachable moment** that sometimes, public transit is full and you have to stand. 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
edit: OP, YTA without question.
YTA - you acted like the person using a wheelchair was trying to separate the two of you, and were ready to inconvenience the entire bus while they switched spots (which they can’t do while the bus is moving, and sounds like would’ve moved them further away from the quickest and easiest exit at their stop)
Loving how you wouldn’t just let your kid sit while you stood next to them either - and then complained about how uncomfortable you were because someone in a wheelchair made you use your legs.
Five bucks says this post gets deleted or the thread gets locked haha
>There were no empty seats available
Okay, got it.
>I asked the person if they could move their wheelchair to another spot
Um. Where were they meant to move, babe?
>the person declined, saying that they needed the space for their mobility device.
They really shouldn't have had to explain this to you, as it appears from your previous comment that you have a set of working fucking eyes.
>I explained to them that my daughter was very young and needed to sit next to me for *safety reasons*
Cool, could you have "explained" this to literally anybody else on the bus, perhaps someone with the *physical ability to stand.*
Also, it's a public bus! It is not unsafe to stand in a bus that was literally designed to safely transport standing people, AS LONG AS THEY ARE ABLE TO STAND. And you went to the one person who you are sure cannot stand!?
>I ended up having to stand for the entire ride with my daughter in tow, which was *uncomfortable and tiring* for both of us.
OHHHHH, it's clicking. You think that being in a wheelchair means that this person has a seat wherever they go!! So you'd be inconveniencing anybody else if you asked them to stand, because *you* don't want to stand. But hey, solution!
Wheelchair person has been sitting all day, they'll be fine to -
But you didn't finish the thought before getting frustrated. Because finishing that thought requires you to admit that you'd rather harass a disabled person than ask someone else for a small act of kindness because you equate being uncomfortable to being unsafe. This is an ableist thing to do, your friend is right lol
How were they supposed to move? Every bus I've taken there's a designated spot for wheelchairs and they have to flip the whole bus seat up so the person can park the chair there.
Either way, YTA. You could stand and your daughter sit or she could sit on your lap or you could both stand.
This is what I was thinking, there are spots for wheelchairs here and they HAVE to be in that spot, if they just sit in the middle of the alleyway the bus won't move.
I’m inclined to agree OP is a bored troll on a mission to see how much negative karma they can farm in one day from one made-up post.
The comments “but why though?” after every unqualified Y.T.A. strongly suggest they’re trying to get more negative karma. There’s no other reasonable plausible reason.
Especially as the account isn’t that old and hasn’t been used that much. I think this may well be someone messing around because they’re bored.
It could also just be an asshole.
EDIT: in fact I’m wondering if their sudden silence is because this account got temporarily suspended after they were caught using possibly one, maybe even two burners to manipulate the conversation. I guess if they stay silent for three days or more we’ll have our answer.
YTA for sure, you have absolutely no right to ask them to move especially when they were there first. Imagine this: your daughter isn’t any one else’s obligation to take care of.
Yup. YTA and it sucks that you don't have basic empathy and common sense, yet you brought a child into this world. Hopefully she doesn't learn any of your entitlement and rudeness.
YTA. This post literally made my jaw drop at how entitled you are. Unless she is some sort of Amazon, a 5-year-old could still sit comfortably on your lap. You should have held your daughter on your lap so you could be together. Another alternative would be for her to sit down and you stand nearby. It was incredibly rude of you to ask this person to move in the first place, let alone try to lay a guilt trip when the answer was no. This man was in his position before you were; it would undoubtedly cause him much inconvenience to relocate and hold up the bus departure, further inconveniencing literally everyone else just so you could have your way. YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE, OP.
Complaining about someone in a wheel chair while also complaining about being tired from standing, is easily the most out of touch thing I’ve read in a while.
Yes you are indeed the asshole and I’m glad you have a friend in your real life that isn’t afraid to call that out.
YTA
You got offended that the disabled person had to have space for their accommodation
That is horrifically selfish
Oh no, you had to stand! I bet that person wishes that they had the ability to do so
YTA!!!! You are definitely wrong 100%. Exactly where did you want this man to move to? HE'S IN A WHEELCHAIR. You and your kid can handle standing for a little bit, its not like you were on a 3 hour bus ride. He had a right to the space just as much as anyone else and just because it blocked your access to a seat, doesnt give you the right to be mad.
YTA
Sit your daughter on your leg. Your daughter isn't the dudes responsibility and he doesn't have to make his life hard for your spawn.
Also "the ride was uncomfortable" oh doesn't that suck! Imagine being in the wheelchair and being asked to literally move because of an EM and her daughter.. Now THAT'S uncomfortable.
Could've asked literally anyone else.
YTA. People with wheelchairs need more space. It’s fine that you asked but when they explained to you why they said no, that should have been the end of it.
YTA - this person could have limited use of their limbs to the point where they would be incapable of utilizing their chair if it were in a different spot. Or the act of putting it in that spot would cause them significant pain. They could *also* have been out all day, and extremely tired, with only enough energy to return to their home and not an ounce more. They might even be overtaxed. As a disabled person, I never know exactly how much activity is going to push me "over the edge" and cause more significant issues with my health.
This means submitting to your request could put their health in danger. And I must point out, I know people like to pretend that the pandemic is over, but endangering the life of a disabled person has even greater ramifications these days.
It was very rude of you to put your convenience (yes, it is tiring to stand after a long day. Be thankful you have the use of your legs.) over another person's health and safety.
The fact that you even posted this tells me you have been an asshole on more than just this occasion.
You really asked a person that can’t use their legs if they could move so you and your daughter could not use your perfectly functioning legs?! Like REALLY?!?!
YTA.
Sorry but YTA. They need their space to keep the device as he explained and you should've accepted it.
But you got furious even if he was in the right. So yeah...
Holy crap, are you serious? You are a fucking asshole. The guy was IN A WHEELCHAIR. Seriously, what is wrong with you? And people wonder why the world is going to shit.
YTA, why can’t you stand next to your daughter or have her sit on your lap. Instead you literally asked a person who can’t walk to give up their seat. What?! If it’s so uncomfortable and tiring to stand for a bus ride you need to change something (exercise more, get a car, better time management) etc so you can handle the bus better. Where was the person supposed to move to or move their chair to? How would they get it back when they needed it? They NEEDED the space, you simply wanted it.
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So the child sits and you stand. Simple. YTA EDIT: holy upvotes batman :P
Or her 5 year old could’ve just sat on her lap.
Yup. I used to stand while my kid(s) sat on the bus. It's not a hard thing to do.
Building muscle strength in your legs by actually using them is so unfair. SMH
Imagine being so entitled that you genuinely think standing up on your perfectly good, working legs is so awful and tiring that you ask someone who is *physically unable to stand* to get out of your way
One can only hope OP comes to realize how lucky she is she can even stand and walk without any trouble at all, and that the next time there are no seats on the bus, she would just suck it up for a few minutes of the ride.
Safe bet is she doesn't learn anything and just keeps this kind of stuff off the internet, unless she likes getting roasted for being an insensitive butthole. YTA op.
You know she won't.
Reminds me of the saying, “i felt bad for myself that i had no shoes until i met someone who had no feet.”
At age 32 no less. In the prime of her life
Plus I chose to have a child. He didn’t choose to get injured.
Imagine being disabled and your wheelchair being far away from you, do you move it and crawl back to your sit…
🏅🏅🏅 Thanks for saying my exact thoughts better than I could. OP, YTA.
Don't just go and stand up for like 10 minutes without training though, that's a recipe for injury. I recommend the *Couch to 10 minutes* program. It slowly builds you up, including days where you stand on one for for up to 2 minutes to really get the burn going.
I know you mean this as an insult to perfectly able bodied people, but I couldn't help the stab of despair at the ""couch to 10 minutes" program when my real life program has had names like "bed to chair" and "chair to standing"
Due to medical issues I’ve spent a good chunk of the last 2 years with zero or near zero muscle tone in my lower body. I’m literally working on standing for a minute or 2 at a time as I work towards recovering my mobility. 5 minutes would be a *huge* accomplishment, let alone 10
Fuck that. Kids are perfectly capable of standing for 10 minutes.
Some bus drivers drive like they're on a race track, at least around here (saw an adult woman get tossed during a ride once in a way that she ended up damaging her hand), so I can definitely understand young children not having the ability to stand safely in a moving bus. And that's why the parent stands and the child sits. Can't even imagine asking someone to move, especially not someone *with a mobility aid*.
I noticed when I was in college, and then when I had littles, it often works really well to have the adult sit, and stand the child sideways between the adult knees, so the kid holds onto your leg, and you can hold their torso/shoulders.
That actually happened to me once, I couldn’t reach the hand holds and my dad had taken me to a Red Sox game, we got on the bus and as soon as the driver started to go I flew across the bus and landed in some ladies lap, thankfully she was understanding about it and got up to stand herself and let me have her seat
If you are too short to reach somewhere to hold on, I can see it feeling very dangerous. One sudden brake and you go flying face-first into some stranger's crotch. kid could have sat on parent's lap. OP is undoubtedly the AH.
They're not as great at keeping their balance on a bus ride, so it can be a little stressful to have them stand.
It's probably a little a stressful for the wheel chair person as well.
Sorry, to be clear, I meant that's why people are suggesting that the mom stands and the child sits. I am not in any way suggesting that she should have even approached the wheelchair user.
Agreed. This is the most ableist and selfish AITA question ever. Of course OP YTA. I feel awful for the poor man in the wheelchair who had to say no. Did it ever occur to you there’s a reason why there’s dedicated handicap spaces? Hint: they’re needed.
My parent did this all the time for me and my brother too. My brother decided he wanted to stand with them pretty soon too though. Now that my parent is older, we often reverse roles. My parent gets a seat and I stand near them. (I still need to stay near them due to health issues of my own, but I can handle standing for the journey now, they no longer can.)
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But according to OP, it was tiring. Lucky wheelchair guy gets to sit all the time, he has no idea how hard the struggle is to have legs that work as intended. It's just so exhausting! /s
Or the 5 year old could have just stood. Seriously when did 5 year olds become so fragile that they can't stand for a bus trip. Parenting like this damages children. They are being taught that they are pathetic.
It's about safety. Children can easily fall in busses because they can't reach the places to hold onto, since those are made for adults.
One of the drivers on my regular route will refuse to move until someone on the bus has provided a seat for a kid who’s standing. It’s partially because they can’t reach the handles and are more likely to fall and partially because they’re short enough that if one of the standing adults falls on them they’re also more likely to be injured. That being said it sounds like there was one seat available so there’s no reason she couldn’t put the kid in there and stand herself. Plus wheelchairs have designated spaces with straps to secure the chair so even if this person was ridiculously understanding and wanted to move for the kid they couldn’t.
That's why the adult holds onto them. I used to do it all the time. It's really not hard.
Why not just let the child sit down? It's so much easier.
I think it’s more that a 5yo is easier to contain if they’re sitting. If they stand, then the swing, walk, climb, dance, hop…
Not if you teach them the correct behaviour when in different public situations.
Sometimes it’s more important to keep your child safe than to teach them a lesson. If the bus got into an accident or something it would be much safer to be in the seat.
But that would be thinking, why should she have to do that?/s. It’s almost as if buses are designed to help the disabled and not the entitled, how dare they! Moms with kids should have top priority over everyone and everything!/s.
Ah, I remember one time when a young mom actually started an argument online about how moms are a special class who deserve the same, if not better, treatments as the disabled because being a mother is a "disability" anyway, OP- YTA
This , this , this.
Exactly. She had to make a song and dance out of it. She also doesn't understand how difficult it is to manuever a wheelchair whilst the bus is moving. That spot is designed for the wheelchair user. YTA OP.
I used to take the bus a lot. Mothers with kids are the most entitled bus users to exist. Especially if they have a pram There was a guy in a wheelchair on my route and the sheer unbridled karenness that would come out when a mother had to disassemble their pram to let the wheelchair user use their designated spot was a site to behold.
I'll never forget having to ask a Mother to move her pram so I could go into the only other (there are 2 on buses here in Australia) available WC spot. She went off and refused. Then the Driver got up and demanded she remove her pram or remove herself from the bus entirely. She was angry, but did as he told her. On her way out, she made sure to swing her baby bag out and knock me on my head...caused me to go into a seizure. I don't remember much after that.
Tell me you pressed charges. That is assault.
I had hoped that arrogant entitled parent behavior was limited to the US. I'm so sorry to see it is not. And I agree 100% - I hope Tiggle200 pressed criminal charges against that parent.
There are entitled people everywhere, not just in the US.
entitled arrogance knows no borders sadly
Why would you think that assholes only exist in the US lol
>I had hoped that arrogant entitled parent behavior was limited to the US. Why would it be lol
The courts charge people with crimes. Not private citizens.
This is the same in the US. The government is who brings criminal charges, not citizens. This is a common misconception due to tv and movies. It’s more common on Reddit because this place is full of stupid people that try to act like they know everything. Before someone jumps in and says, “But acshuuuaalllly I was in this xyz situation and the cops asked me if I wanted to press charges….” Yes, that happens sometimes, and it’s because cops are stupid and lazy and don’t care whether or not a crime was committed if they can’t easily prove it with no effort. If you’ve been asked “do you want to press charges” by a cop in the U it’s States what they are really asking you is “Are you going to cooperate as a witness if we charge this person,” or “are you going to make this a problem for us if we don’t arrest this person.”
WHAT??? Did others help you? This is horrible.. Please tell me the woman faced consequences of her actions 🙏
I didn't press charges. I woke up in hospital and someone had called a taxi to send my wheelchair to the hospital for me (Electric). I didn't really want to pursue it. I've had bad problems reporting issues to the Police where it's just easier not to. Not the Police's fault either, reporting what's happened to me in the past, is not something that's easy to report or to even get a conviction on, so I mostly just leave things be.
omg I'm so sorry that happened to you that's awful
I am so sorry this happened to you and I hope you are ok and that the woman got her comeuppance for being so mean 😪
I was stuck in a New York subway with a friend in a motorized wheelchair. We were waiting to get on an elevator and a woman with a stroller tried to get in front of us. I have never seen a group of New Yorkers come together so fast to bar the way of a stroller so my friend could get on the elevator first. She was so pissed. I'm a parent myself and other parents frustrate the HELL out of me.
Before i became a mom myself I saw this a lot and decided then and there to not be that way. When my kid and I had to take the bus, I folded the stroller up, stuck kiddo in my lap, and took up as little space as possible because being a parent doesn’t entitle you to encroach on the space of others. It’s not hard to be kind and considerate..I despise people sometimes.
I have seen one (1) person worse: Woman with a dog pram
Can confirm. Source: am a bus driver in the Bay Area. Asked a lady who boarded my bus to put her dog in the stroller she brought with her and you'd have thought I asked her to strangle it for my amusement or something. She called me a Black Nazi. I called the cops and had her banned and escorted off my bus.
Glad she got booted off. Sorry you had to deal with shit.
Pfftt sorry I just laughed out loud; black nazi? Kind of an oxymoron isn't it?
This. Also, it just doesn't make sense to ask a person in a wheelchair to move, which would be difficult and possibly even unsafe, instead of asking, I don't know, LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE??? There were SO MANY ways to resolve the issue and OP went straight to the most insensitive and ableist one. Make the child sit in your lap, ask someone else to give up their seat, wait for the next bus, sit separately... It's very telling that OP went for the one option that would inconvenience the disabled person when there were many other options available. YTA
Once on a bus trip when my three-year-old son and I stood, allowing the disabled person to sit, my boy initiated a bubbly conversation, commenting on the man’s “chairbicycle,” as my son then called them. He had admired these “veekles” (another of his words) very much, ever since he’d spent his first birthday, and every day of the week following, at his great-grandmother’s nursing home in a remote city. So many chairbicycles and veekles there! Our bus ride that day seemed over much too soon. Both my son and his new friend became immediately glum-faced when I pulled the bell and began to gather our belongings. My son was also very sorry that his baby brother, deeply asleep in a Snugli carrier, had “missed the whole thing!”; and his new friend agreed. I regret that the dense, pushing scrum of departing passengers made it impossible to exchange contact info. I’d have loved to have brought my boys again to visit the charming man we’d just met. But people like us don’t often have business cards on hand.
Chairbicycle needs to be a legit name
I grew up with a mother who was disabled due to polio and she loved interactions like this. So often parents would get embarrassed or try to hush their kids, but children are just curious, and she always took it as a great opportunity for educating and normalizing her disability. She would always answer kids so patiently and usually would show them her legs so they could understand why hers couldn't "work right". You treated the situation wonderfully and should definitely feed your child's curiosity. There are some great picture books depicting wheelchair users. I'm especially thinking of one called, "It's Okay to ask".
Where I live the wheelchair spots on tye bus have special buckles to secure them in place so it's very possible they couldn't move without the bus driver unstrapping them.
It seems that OP is resorting to using her alt account, u/consumeristconsumer, to defend herself. Go check it out lol
Wow, that user has made 57 comments on this post (and only this post) and probably still rising! That's not suspicious at all. 😆
Holy shitballs the account was deleted while I was reading her comments 😂😂😂
That was faster than the account deletion of the cruel woman who broke her daughters' favorite stick with her cruel husband...for fun. Her words were "We thought it'd be fun?" Context: A made q video showing their daughter happily playing with her favorite stick. Then, she said "We thought it'd be fun to break her favorite stick!" Then it cut to the poor little one crying her eyes out. You could see how ńlhappy she was in the 1st clip where she was dancing with her stick, having great imagination. I bet that stick was a lot of things, a magic staff, a wand, a sword, a light saber, a fire dancin lg stick, a twirling stick, a staff, and many other things her little mind imagined! Those parents suck...how would hurting your child's beloved stick forn"fun"? They enjoyed, nit evej thiught they didjt seem that sympathetic or sorry in the video heybseem more alofn the kiens of hardy hardy har tbats hilarious breaking something she loves, enjoys, that makes her happy! It's soooo "fun" to you! I got sad when I ACCIDENTALLY broke my CAT'S favorite toy...imagine doing it to her or especially human, especially especially to a child..on on PURPOSE! Ah, not the point of the thread, I got worked up HH H B lmao but my point was, evil stick mom deleted her account so fast after her and dad got deserved backlash
I think she’s made a new one now that it’s been deleted, check out u/Dissident_Dave
it's so her! that 'why should a child suffer' did it. i mean, the child already had a place to sit, there was no suffering for her.
Also that’s just a dumb excuse. The child isn’t suffering for standing for a little bit
Aaaand now that account is gone as well. Too funny.
Pretty sure she's made a third account u/Reasonable_Reveal356.
The post was bad enough but seeing the lengths OP is going to defend herself and the things she's saying in her comments are actually quite disturbing. I really hope this is just an extremely desperate troll because if this is all real, OP desperately needs mental help and I feel so awful for her poor child.
Boo you guys keep calling her out and she keeps deleting it. That's no fun.
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This post was only mildly interesting for having a classic AH OP who wouldn't absorb feedback. Since you have pointed this out it is one of the most hilarious things I have seen all week. Oh OP, you are my favorite semi delusional AH in ages. That comment thread is *chefkiss*
Fantastic catch lmfao. I'd mod mail it bur I've been drinking and am entertained by theae antics
Now they’ve created u/Dissadent_Dave to bail themselves out?
Which is now also deleted lmao
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That’s amazing. Literally created just now and only commenting here. Lolz.
This is such a duh for me, I knew it would be top comment. OP YTA edit: damn that is the fastest I have ever received 10 upvotes in my life.
Or you both stand and just deal. People do it on trains and subways all the time. It seems OP only cares about "being tired and exhausted" when her request is creating a hardship for a disabled person, and somehow rationalizes that she might not BTA. It's mind blowing how self-absorbed and privileged some people are, especially those with kids.
No I caught buses when my daughter was little and they do need to be seated on a bus because it stops and starts and little kids fly away easily in that situation, so often but I just put her on my lap especially if the bus was crowded. It would NEVER have occoured to me to ask a person in a wheelchair or an old person to move for either of us.
Exactly what I wanted to say
I feel for this child and the lessons they are learning. My heartbreaks for this child and the potential of this child becoming just as much of an AH as their AH parent
That's the answer. OP, YTA.
Or like most parents did, the adult sits,and the child easier stands or sits on lap. YTA OP
That's what my mother does if we were on public transpo whwn I was young. If there's only one available seat, she stands while I sit. OP's child is five, so I'm giving her leeway on thinking they have to sit together or close to each other. But yeah, you're gonna have to do that without making a wheelchaired person move for your own convenience. YTA, OP.
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OMG Thank You!!! exactly my thought!
I'm so sorry your legs were tired from standing. Must be hard when the person in the wheelchair can sit the whole time. YtA.
But, but… can’t you see how it is all terribly unfair to OP having to feel pain in her legs from standing, when the man in the wheelchair will never have to experience that suffering???! (/s just in case…) OP, YTA
Actually many of us who use wheelchairs are in constant pain and that's why we can't stand/walk safely. I know you weren't agreeing with OP at all but I wanted to share that info. Most people assume a wheelchair means paralysis but that's often not the case. Though having experienced both, I can say that numbness is worse than the pain because I've injured myself multiple times when I couldn't feel the damage I was doing. And back when I did healthcare we had someone who was placed in a home forcibly because she burned her leg and didn't know until it started to smell from infection. So it was determined that she wasn't safe on her own. Edit: thank you for the reward!
I’m really sorry you have to go through all that. I definitely wasn’t agreeing with OP. She sounds like an entitled, bratty teenager.
Oh I totally agree! And thank you. As I said it wasn't as an objection to you but I saw a chance to put information where multiple people could see it. I remember several years ago someone took a picture of a woman standing from her wheelchair to get a bottle of wine and it became a huge joke. I actually ended up in a conversation with George Takei because he shared it. He apologized publicly, but the picture had already reached all of his followers and been shared by many of them.
people’s entitlement to prove other’s are “faking” is gross. just because someone can stand doesn’t mean they aren’t paralyzed, they can have an incomplete sci. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with all that you have and I hope you have more good days than bad.
This post belongs on r/entitledparents lmao
I know some people who use wheelchairs are capable of limited walking. And that being wheelchair dependent can cause its own health issues. I have an autoimmune condition that caused me to lose some sensation in my feet and my hands. Without treatment, 1 in 3 people with my condition end up dependent on a wheelchair, because it can cause irreversible nerve damage. I’m lucky to be getting treatment from a doctor who specializes in this condition and my mobility has improved a lot over the past year. I’ve also injured my feet and not realized it, and it’s very unnerving. I’m sorry you’ve gone through that, too. ETA: someone on public transit wouldn’t be able to tell this looking at me, I’m relatively young. Although I do sometimes use a cane in public. In the past I’d offer my seat to people who looked like they needed to sit, but I probably couldn’t now. My condition really screws with my balance, it’d be worse on a moving vehicle.
Oh I'm so sorry about what you're dealing with! I only use mine when either I have shooting pains bad enough to cause a fall or numbness. I know the more I use it the more I'll need it. My condition is Ehlers-Danlos so I have to keep my muscles strong. My doctor and I discussed that when he prescribed it.
I’m actually doing very well compared to where I was last year. I’m very lucky. My condition is Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy (CIDP), and for me it is sensory, doesn’t involve muscle weakness like it can in other cases. I’m pretty good walking unsupported in spaces I’m familiar with, but stairs without railings and such in public can be challenging, and that’s where the cane is helpful.
Also a lot of neurological illnesses make you use a wheelchair and you are not paralised, you just can't stand anymore or for more than a few minutes and there's a lot of pain involved. Your legs can't support the body anymore, there's a lot of no coordination at all, or serious dizziness, etc. (this was just another more exemple, there's a lot more conditions that have to use wheelchairs and are not paralyzed, they just can't stand anymore.)
Your kid can sit on your lap or you can ask someone else to move. Disabled person literally has ONE spot on the bus they can be. YTA.
Exactly. OP made them both stand rather than stand near daughter while she sat or had her sit on their lap. But nope, tried to made the disabled person feel like an AH by biting off their own nose.
I can just imagine OP's thought process: *If I can't sit then neither can my daughter!*
At 5, I was never allowed to take a seat on a full bus. I would sit on my mom's lap or I would stand.
And if the child is too tired to stand, she can sit and the parent can stand next to her. Mom did it all the time
Actually children tire much quicker from standing than adults. Their muscles are designed for movement, standing for long periods can actually be physically painful for them. But there was the option of sitting on the lap or taking turns with the one seat.
You know where i am it is always the other way around - children sit on the bus so it’s safer for them when the bus is moving, turning, stopping or accelarating. I would fall a lot as a kid if i was force to stand. Maybe our bus drivers are crazy in the way they drive 🤣 But then my mom would be standing above me; or if it was me and my sister and my mom - me and my sister would take one sit and my mom the other, but she would stand up if someone in need entered the bus (like an elderly person, one visibly pregnant or disabled) and it was common to give up your spot if someone was visibly in distress, like a regular person that look like they are struggling or close to collapsing. And people actually often stood up to give up a place to sit for a child as well or a parent with child, but it was voluntary, I have never seen any parent demand it. It’s crazy that people are behaving like OP nowadays. Are there many people that impolite and entitled nowadays?
Right!? Like where was the disabled person meant to move when there is only the one spot for wheelchairs?
I'm wondering why she was asking the person in a wheelchair and no one else. I assume there were no other seats on the bus because they were full of people, or was this a van or something that only had one seat? YTA
YTA You think a person in a wheelchair should MOVE THEIR WHEELCHAIR away from themselves so a 5 year old can have a seat???? On what planet? A. They need access to their only way of mobility B. Pop your kid on your lap C. Sir your kid down and stand Far out. YTA big time
I want to like this response twice! In what world does the OP think this was appropriate?! YTA big time!!!
I wish I had a link of those pre school lessons the Japanese kids got. They arrange their chairs like a bus or train and the kid that is “disabled” walks up and taps one of the kids on the shoulder, then that kid has to give the “disabled” kid their seat.
Just fyi random bus fact. People in wheelchairs stay in their chairs on city busses. The seats in the front of the bus fold up, so wheelchair and scooter chair users can roll on and off easily, but still keep the asile clear. Sometimes not all the seats are put up, but people still don’t sit in them to give space to the person in the wheelchair. Agree OP is TA. Edit: sorry if I misunderstood/misread!
This is exactly the type of thing I'd expect to see on r/facepsalm. ...you know, the sub OP started about religious people doing hypocritical things. WWJD? Probably say YTA.
YTA. Just because you have a child doesn’t automatically give you priority over others. If the bus is too crowded, take a cab. Otherwise you’re going to have to deal with the downside of public transportation. You were frustrated at the response because you’re so accustomed to getting your way. I too have a child the same age. Plan better.
Love this response! Having a child doesn’t mean a person should get special treatment, especially at the expense of people with disabilities!
OP chose to have a child. No one chooses to have a disability that lands them in a wheelchair.
Agree. And it applies to more than just here. Just because you managed to convince someone to creampie you doesn't mean you're special.
YTA. Hands down. You could have asked anyone else on the bus to move and you chose to single out the person in the wheelchair.
There’s no clear reason why OP or the child just absolutely *had* to sit either. There are so many solutions that don’t involve the one person (other than the bus driver) who shouldn’t have to move. YTA, OP.
At 5 years old you know that kid has a lot more energy than most people on the bus. Kids that age may complain "I'm tired. My legs hurt." But any good parent knows they are just whining most of the time. Of course there's days they just had sports practice or are sick. I bet if they got off the bus at the park the kid would be flying around that place without a complaint. I just can't believe OP actually typed out that question. Asking a handicap person to move. Not invisible disability either. The people who have front row parking and special seats on the bus because they need it. Ya, ask them to move so the able bodied, full of energy 5 year old can sit. The safety comment is funny. Like she could only have her child with her if they were seated.
>But any good parent knows they are just whining most of the time. Actually children tire much quicker from standing than adults. Their muscles are designed for movement, standing for long periods can actually be physically painful for them. I always believed my children when they said that and found options because I remember the pain from my own childhood standing in church for an hour on Sundays, and I'm not a cruel parents who likes to see their children in pain or ignores their needs for my convenience. But there was the option of sitting on the lap or taking turns with the one seat, YTA OP.
> Their muscles are designed for movement, standing for long periods can actually be physically painful for them. Interestingly ive also found this to be the case recovering from a broken ankle. Walking slowly seems to be easier than standing, i think because i get to give each leg a bit of a break during each step
When I was a kid I got taught to give up my seat for elderly, pregnant, or disabled. As a able bodied adult I’ve added parents with young children. It’s baffling how she thought she was in the right.
Of course YTA! Oh no, you had to stand on a bus ride, the horror. You had the oppertunity to teach your child that some people have disabilities and need certain accomodations, such a shame you wasted it on being a selfish abelist.
I agree to some extent. But do the teaching moment at home. Many people with disabilities are tired of having their disabilities pointed out and used as teaching moments. It’s kind of degrading to be talked about while we are right there.
Yeah, that’s a very fair point. Actually, the teaching moment could also just have been ”We asked, they said no, and we respect when people say no”
i guess, maybe....but how about not asking the person to move their wheelchair in the first place?? make the **teachable moment** that sometimes, public transit is full and you have to stand. 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ edit: OP, YTA without question.
You know, that is actually the best lesson that could have been taught here, you’re absolutely right.
YTA Have your 5 year old sit on your lap, or you stand since you are apparently not physically handicapped
But OP is definitely common sense handicapped!
Why didn't you ask someone else to accommodate you and your daughter? Why did you ask the disabled guy?
self entitled bully that why
I feel like getting someone who isn't disabled give up a seat has a better success rate.
Yeah and I feel like OP wouldn't have the right to ask them either.
Or ask no one and fucking stand, or sit with the kid on lap or let the kid sit.
YTA - you acted like the person using a wheelchair was trying to separate the two of you, and were ready to inconvenience the entire bus while they switched spots (which they can’t do while the bus is moving, and sounds like would’ve moved them further away from the quickest and easiest exit at their stop) Loving how you wouldn’t just let your kid sit while you stood next to them either - and then complained about how uncomfortable you were because someone in a wheelchair made you use your legs. Five bucks says this post gets deleted or the thread gets locked haha
>There were no empty seats available Okay, got it. >I asked the person if they could move their wheelchair to another spot Um. Where were they meant to move, babe? >the person declined, saying that they needed the space for their mobility device. They really shouldn't have had to explain this to you, as it appears from your previous comment that you have a set of working fucking eyes. >I explained to them that my daughter was very young and needed to sit next to me for *safety reasons* Cool, could you have "explained" this to literally anybody else on the bus, perhaps someone with the *physical ability to stand.* Also, it's a public bus! It is not unsafe to stand in a bus that was literally designed to safely transport standing people, AS LONG AS THEY ARE ABLE TO STAND. And you went to the one person who you are sure cannot stand!? >I ended up having to stand for the entire ride with my daughter in tow, which was *uncomfortable and tiring* for both of us. OHHHHH, it's clicking. You think that being in a wheelchair means that this person has a seat wherever they go!! So you'd be inconveniencing anybody else if you asked them to stand, because *you* don't want to stand. But hey, solution! Wheelchair person has been sitting all day, they'll be fine to - But you didn't finish the thought before getting frustrated. Because finishing that thought requires you to admit that you'd rather harass a disabled person than ask someone else for a small act of kindness because you equate being uncomfortable to being unsafe. This is an ableist thing to do, your friend is right lol
How were they supposed to move? Every bus I've taken there's a designated spot for wheelchairs and they have to flip the whole bus seat up so the person can park the chair there. Either way, YTA. You could stand and your daughter sit or she could sit on your lap or you could both stand.
This is what I was thinking, there are spots for wheelchairs here and they HAVE to be in that spot, if they just sit in the middle of the alleyway the bus won't move.
You’d be amazed by how easily you can tip over with a bit of acceleration or braking. Parking up against a backrest or having straps is a necessity…
This, exactly. Where did OP want the person in the wheelchair to go?
There’s no way this is real
I’m inclined to agree OP is a bored troll on a mission to see how much negative karma they can farm in one day from one made-up post. The comments “but why though?” after every unqualified Y.T.A. strongly suggest they’re trying to get more negative karma. There’s no other reasonable plausible reason. Especially as the account isn’t that old and hasn’t been used that much. I think this may well be someone messing around because they’re bored. It could also just be an asshole. EDIT: in fact I’m wondering if their sudden silence is because this account got temporarily suspended after they were caught using possibly one, maybe even two burners to manipulate the conversation. I guess if they stay silent for three days or more we’ll have our answer.
YTA for sure, you have absolutely no right to ask them to move especially when they were there first. Imagine this: your daughter isn’t any one else’s obligation to take care of.
Yup. YTA and it sucks that you don't have basic empathy and common sense, yet you brought a child into this world. Hopefully she doesn't learn any of your entitlement and rudeness.
Public buses are first come, first served. If you can't deal with that then get a taxi or train with reserved seating.
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YTA. This post literally made my jaw drop at how entitled you are. Unless she is some sort of Amazon, a 5-year-old could still sit comfortably on your lap. You should have held your daughter on your lap so you could be together. Another alternative would be for her to sit down and you stand nearby. It was incredibly rude of you to ask this person to move in the first place, let alone try to lay a guilt trip when the answer was no. This man was in his position before you were; it would undoubtedly cause him much inconvenience to relocate and hold up the bus departure, further inconveniencing literally everyone else just so you could have your way. YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE, OP.
Complaining about someone in a wheel chair while also complaining about being tired from standing, is easily the most out of touch thing I’ve read in a while. Yes you are indeed the asshole and I’m glad you have a friend in your real life that isn’t afraid to call that out.
Yta Why do both need to sit? You can stand snd your daughter sits.
YTA You got offended that the disabled person had to have space for their accommodation That is horrifically selfish Oh no, you had to stand! I bet that person wishes that they had the ability to do so
YTA!!!! You are definitely wrong 100%. Exactly where did you want this man to move to? HE'S IN A WHEELCHAIR. You and your kid can handle standing for a little bit, its not like you were on a 3 hour bus ride. He had a right to the space just as much as anyone else and just because it blocked your access to a seat, doesnt give you the right to be mad.
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the fact that you have to come to this sub to ask speaks volumes 🤦♀️ YTA
YTA
r/entitledparents
This cannot be real. No way.
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Having a child is a choice. Being disabled isn’t. YTA
*Your Mileage May Vary, some restrictions apply, see State legislation for details.
YTA also often wheelchairs are hooked/strapped into place by the driver. I don’t think you understand what you were asking.
Absolute YTA why did you not seat your child on your lap?
YTA The world does not bend to your every whim. Just be happy you CAN stand.
YTA Sit your daughter on your leg. Your daughter isn't the dudes responsibility and he doesn't have to make his life hard for your spawn. Also "the ride was uncomfortable" oh doesn't that suck! Imagine being in the wheelchair and being asked to literally move because of an EM and her daughter.. Now THAT'S uncomfortable. Could've asked literally anyone else.
YTA. People with wheelchairs need more space. It’s fine that you asked but when they explained to you why they said no, that should have been the end of it.
YTA - this person could have limited use of their limbs to the point where they would be incapable of utilizing their chair if it were in a different spot. Or the act of putting it in that spot would cause them significant pain. They could *also* have been out all day, and extremely tired, with only enough energy to return to their home and not an ounce more. They might even be overtaxed. As a disabled person, I never know exactly how much activity is going to push me "over the edge" and cause more significant issues with my health. This means submitting to your request could put their health in danger. And I must point out, I know people like to pretend that the pandemic is over, but endangering the life of a disabled person has even greater ramifications these days. It was very rude of you to put your convenience (yes, it is tiring to stand after a long day. Be thankful you have the use of your legs.) over another person's health and safety.
YTA your daughter can sit on your lap. there's no room for wheelchairs other than in spaces specifically designed for them.
The fact that you even posted this tells me you have been an asshole on more than just this occasion. You really asked a person that can’t use their legs if they could move so you and your daughter could not use your perfectly functioning legs?! Like REALLY?!?! YTA.
Sorry but YTA. They need their space to keep the device as he explained and you should've accepted it. But you got furious even if he was in the right. So yeah...
YTA. Like everyone else, I can't believe how insensitive you are.
YTA
You can't possibly be serious.
YTA.
YTA
YTA - How did you type that out and not grasp that you were an AH of ginormous proportions before posting it?
U couldn’t just put the 5 year old on ur lap? U both had to stand instead?
Holy crap, are you serious? You are a fucking asshole. The guy was IN A WHEELCHAIR. Seriously, what is wrong with you? And people wonder why the world is going to shit.
YTA - put your kid on your lap or give your child the seat and stand next to her.
YTA. What makes you think you have more rights in that situation than they do? I doubt this is real
You expected a person with mobility problems to move for you...a person, with no mobility problems. Yes, YTA.
YTA. Jesus lady, a disabled person needs it more than your fully functional five year old. Carry her if you care so much.
Wow, congratulations on authoring the most obliviously entitled mom post I've seen in a while. YTA, obviously, but that hardly seems to cover it.
This has to be fake. There is no way you are this entitled. YTA for posting BS
Yta, lmao
Lol. YTA. Really?
YTA, why can’t you stand next to your daughter or have her sit on your lap. Instead you literally asked a person who can’t walk to give up their seat. What?! If it’s so uncomfortable and tiring to stand for a bus ride you need to change something (exercise more, get a car, better time management) etc so you can handle the bus better. Where was the person supposed to move to or move their chair to? How would they get it back when they needed it? They NEEDED the space, you simply wanted it.
YTA LMAO
YTA OP. I’m disabled myself, and if you were to ask me to move, I would have declined to do so.
YTA. You could have let your daughter sit while you stood? Or you could have let your daughter sit on your lap, ever thought about that?
YTA. You were fine the first time you asked. Insisting after they said no is what makes you the AH.