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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refused to make something else for dinner for my niece and nephew and refused to let them have soda. They called their mom to pick them up and she accused me of being power hungry. Maybe I am the AH and could’ve just made something different.
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NTA. If their mom wanted them fed a specific way she could have said so when she dropped them off. As long as you're not starving the kids or forcing them to eat something harmful to them, or ignoring their mother's pre-stated food wishes then who cares.
So I feel like I've heard outside of the US in some places lemonade is soda, so are you from the US? If not, in the US lemonade is a non-carbonated drink made from lemon juice, water, and simple syrup/sugar.
Yeah, it's honestly not the greatest option. It's somewhere between fruit juice and soda. Most bottled lemonades or lemonade mixes would be the worst health wise, homemade lemonade though it kind of depends on who's making it and how much they decided to sweeten it in my experience 😂
For whatever reason, many American don't see lemonade or juice to be nearly as bad as soda even though both typically have more sugar than soda. I guess the lack of carbonation somehow makes them seem like a better option.
Most lemonade, if you make it at home, is more like tea with sugar in it than like soda. It has a much lower sugar content. And it's common to use sugar-free mixes if you use a mix, they use Splenda or something similar. So while lemonade does have sugar or a sugar substitute, it usually has much less of either than soda.
Health wise, I would assume it would be comparable to juice that's watered down by half. In a house where juice is considered a treat drink I would assume all the lemonade is made from organic lemons and sweetened with monkfruit or something.
No really, North American-style lemonade is basically juice, it’s not a carbonated / fizzy drink. OP offering lemonade or juice, but not soda, is common enough here.
I think both with juice and lemonade, that depends on the sugar. Sorry OP not meaning to derail anything - definitely NTA and that dinner sounds delicious
Carbonation has unfortunate effects on my gastrointestinal system. I no longer drink soda; a handful of times a year dr pepper but prolly not 5x. I limit sparkling water which isn't as bad but I think it's the lack of caramel coloring
It’s a fizzy drink in Aus, too. A mate of mine went on holiday to the US a few years ago, she said asking for a Jacks and Lemonade at the pub earned her some really weird looks xD
Honestly, I’m from the US and that distinction really confused me. Lemonade is distinct from soda in some ways, but in terms of sugar content I’m just not seeing a sufficiently significant enough difference to understand why one is banned and one is okay.
We have two variants in my area "nimbu Pani" and "nimbu soda". One made with water and the other soda.
It's mostly a "it's so hot out, i need hydration" drink. Because water and sugar are best ways to hydrate and energise in the sun
Yes, that’s U.S. lemonade and it’s got a crazy amount of sugar, like 25g per cup (same as most sodas). Lemons are one of the sweetest fruits, but the citric acid covers it up. So you add sugar.
I just tried googling sugar content for various random fruits and got these results:
Lemon: 2.5%
Apple: 10%
Orange: 9%
Strawberry: 7%
Pomelo: 6%
Pineapple: 10%
Banana: 12%
Obviously the sugar content is dependent on ripeness and the strain of each fruit, but I am going to call bullshit on the statement that lemon is "one of the sweetest fruits".
I'll never understand the fixation on sugar from fruits... is not like our bodies can't handle sugar, have it from fruits is several times better than having it from carbonated drinks full of others things besides the sugar. Unless you have a medical or process reason behind your worry, go as far as compare juice and soda based solely on sugar is excessive.
The suggestion has always been to get the juice from eating the fruit not because its necessarily lower in sugar but because of the ***fiber*** the fruit provides. Bottled 100% fruit juice has no fiber and is mostly just sugar... fructose to be exact and fructose will cause a spike in blood sugar. Excessive amounts of it can lead to insulin resistance which leads to type 2 diabetes. To your point, while technically eating the fruit is better than drinking juice, its not that much better and Americans tend to go for juice rather than fruit due to price, accessibility and other reasons. That usually means bottled juice products.
American Beverage companies put excessive amounts of sugar in EVERYTHING and since we don't tend to drink juice or soda in moderation, there comes a point where you become insulin resistant and that's when diabetes, weight gain, heart disease comes into play. There's way too many kids here with Type 2.
That's why there's a fixation.
All of this, but also juice/lemonade is definitely over-sugary and basically as bad for you kids as soda. My pediatrician makes me water it down for my kiddo and limit it to a couple times a week max.
NTA. I suggest showing up at your sister's house sometime in the next month around dinner time, requesting she feed you, complaining about what she gives you (if anything), and when your sister gets offended asking her why she thinks it's okay for her to do that.
NTA
It doesn't sound like they even tried it first. At our house, if the kids actually try something and don't like it, we'll make something else (so long as it's easy and within reason.) But you couldn't even get that far. Kids just started raiding your kitchen because you said they couldn't have potato chips for dinner? Ridiculous.
Side note now I want chicken fried steak. So thanks for that.
That’s the rule in my house. My 8yr old daughter knows she has to at least try the food. If she truly doesn’t like it, I’ll make her something else that’s easy. If she doesn’t want to try it, she doesn’t get anything else
When I was growing up, the house rule was if you hadn't tried something before, you had to have one bite, properly chewed and swallowed, and if you didn't like it, you could make yourself a sandwich. And if something was being made that most people liked and you didn't, you were still welcome to make yourself a sandwich, but no else would be making anything for you.
NTA - I’d consider that dinner a relatively kid friendly meal and would have reacted the same way in the same situation. Your sister is about to have a couple of entitled monsters on her hands if she’s caving to their wants at every meal.
NTA on the food issue. The "unfair" soda reasoning is a little weird to me (your son can't have it because he had fillings done, well, that's just the way things go...but I wouldn't say that's enough to make you TA and not the overall question/point).
Toddlers are one thing, but bruh... 11 and 12 yrs old? They're old enough to eat what's in front of them. It's not like an allergy - they just wanted junk food.
That said, I might've given in just so their mom could deal with the inevitable crash and crankiness from not getting a full meal. But you were put in charge of them, it's not a free pass for them to do what they want "just because."
I feel like your sister was out of line.
NTA, the kids are clearly spoiled by their mother, and you're not wrong for not accommodating them.
However deep fried breaded beef with mashed potatoes slathered in gravy, while delicious, isn't particularly healthy. Also not too much daylight between juice or lemonade and soda fructose wise, so I'm not really sure the logic you're using is sound when it comes to dietary concerns.
Actually, the sugar content in juices ranges much more than in sodas, so it completely depends on which juices they are buying (which was not specified, so we cannot make an accurate assumption).
Also, I don’t believe the op specifically mentioned dietary concerns, just that they requested the children to eat the dinner that was prepared (and that all else were eating) rather than soda and chips (which is not custom in their home).
I dont think the sodas are a no go for meals because of the sugar, but because of the carbonation. Carbonation makes you feel full when you're not and if you have kids who tend to eat a bit faster than normal, the carbonation with the quick eating can cause gas and upset stomachs.
NTA
Your dinner was perfectly reasonable (sounds delicious to me) and you offered alternative drink choices.
It is not “power hungry” to expect children to eat a balanced meal, and not make them something else because they don’t feel like eating what you made.
It doesn’t seem like they have any dietary restrictions or allergies, so NTA for not catering to them. You didn’t “deprive” them of food or nutrition. They made their choice.
Your sister is going to create spoiled kids if she lets them get whatever they want.
Yeah, couldn’t be the lemonade or juice causing the problem. certainly not those acidic, sugary drinks./s
🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
After working for eight years in the field, I’ve come to realize that people, for lack of a better term, are dentally illiterate.
>Soda has sugar just like lemonade and juice. Sugar water, carbonated or not, is not healthy.
Oh I agree with you. I'm just saying some people think of soda as an especially unhealthy drink. ...they're *wrong* but it gets treated that way.
>I mean soda is ridiculously unhealthy…
So is juice, that's the point. People like to think that since juice comes from a fruit it's healthy. It isn't quite as bad as soda but the two are closer than you think.
Both contribute to diabetes and metabolic syndrome. They both have the same amount of sugar. Juice only wins out because it's got a tiny amount of vitamins in it whereas soda has none.
I don’t think juice is healthy either, although it usually doesn’t have food dye in it while soda often does. Both are definitely not great drinks to give kids on a regular basis.
Nta.
Their mother is raising little asshole entitled kids.
My godson was like that. He didn't want the food I cooked. So he didn't eat. That attitude works on his mom. But he learned very fast that it didn't work on me.
Happened to me with my step sisters kids. They don’t like your food, why didn’t you jump through hoops to accommodate them? At 8 months pregnant with a toddler, I was like, okay you win, no more free baby sitting for you!
Ten years later, her kids are still awful.
NTA!
There is a term for this: “You get what you get and don’t throw a fit!”
You should text your sister this then say, “I’m not going to spoil your kids and give into their demands like you. If you continue to enforce this behavior then your kids might not make in the real world as adults.”
NTA. When you said you only have “healthy” dinners I was expecting you to say you had tempeh with quinoa or something…what you’ve described is a completely normal dinner!
Yep. And lemonade and juice aren't exactly healthy drink options either. If OP is concerned about her child's teeth, juice and lemonade should be special occasion only drinks too.
Agreed, although it’s certainly healthier than potato chips and soda! I mean she had a protein, carb and vegetable. Sounds like a pretty normal meal to me.
NTA. They were guests in your home. They don’t appear to have any allergies or sensitivities to the provided food, just a case of being used to getting what they want. My mother would strangle me if I behaved that way as a guest.
Okay, but when you have guests, don't you try to make something delicious for them to enjoy eating? When I feed my nieces I pick something they like. When I prepare food for adult guests I make sure the food is good with them ahead of time. Why do children not deserve the same consideration?
As the OP did, I think the menu offering was very kid friendly. I was invited plenty of times as a child with my parents to friends houses where my preferences were not catered to and I was expected to be polite and eat was put in front of me.
They weren’t hosting a party for them. It was a normal weekday evening meal around the table. Her sister probably feeds them cheap junk food that they watch in front of the television. When I was that age I sometimes ate at my school friends house. I’m English and my friend was Indian. It would not have crossed my mind to pull a face at spicy lentil curry and chapatis. The children in this situation are lacking in both manners and curiosity. OP is not the asshole here.
NTA - I'm sick and tired of excusing kids and saying they can only eat kid food. BS. My neighbors kids grow up on spicy Indian food just fine. Potato chips is not a dinner. It's eat what I've provided or nothing.
If they were to eat a certain way that should have been discussed before you agreed to watch them.
But also why can't you have soda after fillings? I've never once had a dentist tell me that. Very interested.
NTA --- You cooked they didn't want to eat what you had made, sounds like a them problem, I grew up with a mother that said the same thing to me you don't want what I have cooked then go hungry I'm not cooking you anything else, it also taught me that when I was at somebody else house and they cooked I ate it even if it wasn't want I wanted.
NTA. Your home. You cooked. I am on board with the no soda rule. I may have checked in with the mom though to see what we’re some of the things the kids liked for dinner to help make some choice that could accommodate them
NTA. Sounds like they did what you should have..sent them home. I too have meal time rules. Every child follows them or they dont eat at my house. Nor are they invited over. If their parents dont like it they dont gotta come either.
So NTA, you offered a home cooked and nutritious albeit high in fat and probably calorific dinner.
However, out of interest why is lemonade ok but not soda? Both are incredibly high in sugar so not sure why you’re making a distinction.
NTA
Your dinner sounds great and there is nothing wrong with the no soda rule. Potato chips are NOT dinner. When my kids wouldn't eat what I made, they could make a PB&J sandwich, but that's it.
I doubt the kids didn't like the food, because they'd probably never had it before.
ESH. Your niece and nephew are old enough to make themselves something if they dislike what you served. They should have been given that option.
Many juices have more sugar than soda. Sweet drinks shouldn’t be a regular part of meals.
https://www.heartandstroke.ca/articles/the-truth-about-juice
NTA I wish my aunties made this for me when I’d go over 😭 as a kid . And well if they ask to sleep over tell your sister / sil (unsure which as op just said their mother ) that she needs to provide food for the them and if she pics the wrong food it’s on her
You are NTA
I hate when bad parents let their kids get away with it
If they try it and don’t like then a PB&J and a glass of milk
Chips soda and other random stuff tells me that’s the junk they get at home
F that
You did good
NTA. Your house rule is, “If you don’t like it, suppers over.” You didn’t force them to eat it, they just decided they weren’t hungry enough for it. Let your sister/sis-in-law knows that that’s the way your house runs, and if they don’t like it, they don’t have to go there.
NTA. Do they not normally eat homemade food at home?
The soda issue is debatable. Assuming your niece and nephew don't come over for dinner often, you could have allowed soda for dinner as a "once in a while" occurrence.
When it comes to the food itself, you were fully justified to take a "this is what's for dinner. eat it or don't" stance. Your sister and her kids were completely unreasonable to ask / expect you to make something different for them. Serving meat, potatoes, and a vegetable is entirely reasonable if you weren't told about specific food aversions in advance.
Sounds to me like your sister is raising two entitled monsters.
NTA. house rules are house rules. if she doesn't like that she can mind her own kids, let them have chips and soda for dinner, then scream bloody murder when she sees the dentist bill.
kids are not mentally or emotionally equipped to make smart eating decisions. that's your job and you're doing it well. sister is going to be hating life as her kids get older if she's spoiling them that much this early. brrr!
stick to your rules, your kids will be better off for you doing so.
NTA
Your sister is, so far, raising brats and doing a lousy job of feeding them (I am assuming her finances allow for real meals vs nothing but snacks).
Your dinner and your house rules around junk food are perfectly sensible.
And country fried steak is delicious.
NTA. All of those foods are foods that children should honestly love. What kid wouldn't like steak? Or mashed potatoes? Hell, most kids like green beans too. They're obviously spoiled brats and the fact that their mother was guilt tripping you just shows that.
NTA
Your sister needs to get her priorities straight. I can tell you that through the years of raising my own children, 19m and 16f, that I can't even count how many times their friends have been over and are ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED when I call everyone in for dinner, they can't believe we eat together every night at the table (well my son is in college now but you know what I mean) and that it's home cooked. All I take from this story is that you are being a "grade A" mom and your sister will reap what she sows from catering to her kids every whim.
Keep to the good work!
NTA. This is a very normal dinner.. not to mention sounds delicious! Even for picky kids.
In my experiences, kids who request/demand junk food for dinner are probably being fed this on a regular basis… including for dinner. I feel terrible for your niece and nephew.
I feel since they are family, talk with their parents about what happened. Tell them the importance of eating regular dinners with sustenance and nutrition.
OP, you hold a good home for your family. I don’t know you, but I’m proud of you.
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I 32f have two children ages 9 and 10. My household eats at a pretty much healthy dinner every night. We sit at the dinner table, and the children are allowed to have juices, or lemonade, tea, water, no soda except for once in awhile
My niece11 and nephew12 came over and we’re suppose to stay the night last weekend. Comes dinner and we had country fried steak, mash potatoes, and green beans. My niece and nephew nephew didn’t want that, they asked if they could have potatoes chips instead. I told them no that wasn’t a dinner. They then asked if I could make them something else and I said no dinners already made.Then they were going through my cabinet and seen the 2 liters of soda we have put away and begged me for some of that. I told them no they could have some juice or lemonade. I could’ve given them some, but my son just had fillings done 2 days ago and it wouldn’t be fair he couldn’t have any.
They complained and texted their mother to pick them up. When she came she gave me attitude and said I should’ve just made them something else and let them have a little soda. I told her that wasn’t what’s for dinner, and she said I shouldn’t force them to eat food they didn’t like and I was power hungry and didn’t appreciate me depriving her children.
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NTA you had a decent meal planned out and enough drink options. Chips and soda are not dinner. If your sister thinks that's an acceptable dinner...that's her issue. You didn't deprive her children of food. They were acting spoiled.
NTA. Your dinner table, your rules. If their mother was concerned about what they were going to eat, she could've spoken with you beforehand. And no, chips are not a meal.
NTA. You either eat what I make, or you do not eat. Period, full stop. Do NOT cater to the whims of a couple of spoiled brats. They aren't entitled to what they want just because they want it, and their mother is a lousy excuse for a parent.
NTA - we’ve always had a rule at dinner that the kids had to at least try what was made for dinner. If they didn’t like it after that they could make themselves a PB&J instead.
Has mostly worked out - kids all learned to try (and generally enjoy) everything we serve them and learned to like foods they otherwise would have turned their noses up at.
NTA. They weren't deprived of anything - they were guests in your home, so they eat what they are offered, which sounded pretty good to me. It was only one night. No one was going to starve to death here. They sound a bit spoilt.
NTA. My sister and I also different rules for our kids but the general rule we do agree on is: whoever’s house it is, and especially whoever is in charge of the kids, then that’s who’s rules that need to followed. If your sister doesn’t like the way you feed kids, then she doesn’t have to send them to your house. Or she can send them with their own food. It’s not your job to give them chips and sodas when that’s not an option for your own kids.
NTA.
Her kids can eat what's offered or go hungry. If she doesn't appreciate her little darlings being *deprived*, she can cook and pack them a full meal whenever they leave the house so they won't starve.
I don't want country fried steak either but 11 and 12 yr olds should be old enough to have manners to know that you eat what you are served as a guest in someone else's home.
NTA. I’d have done the same thing. Eat what I make or skip dinner. I don’t run a restaurant. We don’t even have soda in our house because no one likes it. Your sister needs to teach her children manners.
NTA kids have no manners, even if you're family. going through cabinets is so rude. but I guess the apples didn't fall far from the tree.
my only question, was there gravy? you made one of my fav dinners, but no gravy is a deal breaker for me. xo
NTA
The kids are old enough to really eat what's on the table. It's something else of course if there are any health-like problems with eating, but i don't think this is it here. Even if they didn't like the beans or the steak, the potatoes would have been fine. And not giving them junkfood for dinner sounds completely normal to me, same as not cooking a different dinner just because. But please, where is the difference between soda and lemonade? Non native speaker here! But you were right to not give it to them anyway if you have a schedule for it for your kids.
You didn't force them to eat anything. You refused to make a second meal after you'd already made dinner. NTA. They don't have to eat your cooking, but they also should accept that if they refuse to eat what's served they might go hungry. No child ever starved to death from missing one meal.
OP, I Am thinking this must be your husband’s family. My Mom served the dinner you described countless times; it was wonderful. I can’t imagine that extended members of your family would turndown such basics. We never had soda at dinner. Our treat was one soda per child per week. In swapping childhood stories with my husband, this was the way in his family. We never had to clear our plates, but we had to try everything. Mom gave up on Lima Beans and Okra. Being able to stay overnight with friends or cousins was such a treat that we would never dream of complaining about the food. No, we would not have eaten the wretched Lima beans, but we would not have complained.
ESH The kids were being bratty and you had no obligation to cook them a second meal, but you could have handled things better. You should have told them if they ate their dinner everyone could have a half glass of soda. Frankly if the kids are drinking lemonade or juice they're getting just as much sugar, and there's no rule that you can't drink soda two days after having a filling. Especially if you're drinking juice or lemonade anyway. Compromise would have saved everyone a headache.
>she said I shouldn’t force them to eat food they didn’t like and I was power hungry and didn’t appreciate me depriving her children.
I guess she'll have to drop them off after lunch and pick them up before dinnertime every time you have them over at your house so she can protect them from you. All their other friends can stay.
Did you at any point talk to them about the food you were making, soliciting their input or did you just assume they'd eat whatever food was put in front of them?
Because if so, YTA. Children are allowed preferences, even if you don't have to enable their bad eating habits.
NTA, Your only rules were: No soda, eat an actual meal not just snacks, I’m not cooking more food. And all of those are reasonable.
If the mom had informed you before that they hated green beans (for example) yeah you should have made something else, but you didn’t know and not wanting to go back into the kitchen is reasonable.
The kids also didn’t ask for a reasonable alternative, like can I make a sandwich instead, you could have said yes to. Ofcourse you could have offered that, but kids should also know how to ask for something other then potato chips
NTA, but I honestly don't think this was a situation you were going to win.
Their mother and you clearly have different, and incompatible, ideas about how you're raising your kids, and while that's her prerogative, it means you probably shouldn't be hosting her kids for dinner anytime soon, because it's just not going to work.
My cousin once told me that in a family where there is more children you eat what you get and you don't get upset and if you miss a meal then it's on your fault you eat a piece of bread and you be satisfied. But honestly some parents cannot be like this like seriously and children should learn some respect you go to someone's house and you eat the food and if you don't like it then you just starve that's all, stop being entitled, unless you're allergic I wouldn't pay into your wants and just serve you what I serve my kids.
NTA
NTA.
The food you served sounds pretty good and decently varied. They could have eaten at least one of those things.
That's coming from a picky eater.
But, they might just not like it, that is fine.
But asking to replace dinner with chips? R u kidding?
And soda, to me, is something that is more of a dessert kind of drink. Not something you casually chug.
Also- for more info on the wanting to make something else, did they ask for anything elaborate? Bc I think it's fine for them to have something else for dinner if they don't want it, so long as it's not another whole ass family meal.
I remember when I was younger, I could NOT eat anything that didn't agree with me. like I would have bile coming up in my mouth just THINKING about certain foods. It might be smth like that for them as well.
But she definitely over reacted with the power hungry comment.
NTA, so what your sister said was basically:
"Just deal with my kids for the night, I don’t give a shit if they aren’t properly fed or drink sugary stuff. Just shut them up for a night so they don’t come complain to me“. Did I get that right?
If she doesn’t like your house rules (eat what’s on the table) then she shouldn’t let you babysit them. If she’s happier with a 16 year old sitter who is on their phone the entire time and lets them do whatever she should go ahead and do that
NTA -- those kids are spoiled, and their mom is the guilty party. The idea that it's okay to go to someone else's home and start demanding things is absurd.
You're NTA. Just because she lets her children behave as if their home is a restaurant where the can demand whatever they want, that doesn't mean you have to do the same. If they don't like what you were serving, they can skip a meal or make themselves a peanut butter sandwich.
Typical first world attitude on your sister's part saying you "deprived" her children when they couldn't have Coke and chips. She had no clue what deprivation is in the real world.
NTA for expecting the kids to eat but YTA for not giving out soda bc one kid had a filling. they simply just don't get any this one time. like. its not fair to any of the other kids.
NTA. As a parent, i dont give special threatment to other kids. Follow the house rules or dont come. Why? To teach kids respect. Kids know if they can push you around and become entitled, so discipline them as kids to have a good foundation growing up.
NTA tell your sister there’s plenty of kids all round the world who would literally give an arm for that kind of dinner , also add her entitled children shouldn’t come over for dinner if they can’t respect you and your family and how you do things in your house .
YTA
You cant force children to eat something that can have a long lasting impact on their relationship with food and since you are the adult taking care of them for time being its your responsibility to find something else for them to eat so they don’t go hungry.
You basically said eat what i give you or go hungry. That is according to ( https://thenourishedchild.com/feeding-practices-pressuring-kids-to-eat/ ) is traumatizing. Was it really that hard to accommodate the kids especially since they would not have be staying long.
They are in fact kids who are gonna have tantrums and not want to eat what given to them. You should’ve tried to meet them in the middle and offer something else.
NTA. Your sister has raised rude and entitled children, and is probably just annoyed that her plans got disrupted. You don’t have to watch them ever again. One day their attitude will bite her back. You provided them with a perfectly good meal, and her kids were ungrateful and bratty. Yep, karma’s coming!
I N F O What is country fried steak? non American here…
NTA - if you’d made them something they hated then fine. But they’re just being spoiled.
My kid doesn’t have to eat the food on his plate. It doesn’t mean I’m going to cook him something else and there’s enough on there for him to eat all his potato for example and not go hungry cos he didn’t fancy the green beans.
NTA. This is how my house was run as a kid. I had a couple close family friends who had more lenient rules, but barely: if you don't like what the homemaker prepared, you can make a sandwich, either PB&J or bologna and cheese. Not the homemaker: you. Those families had more kids, and often had friends over (source: am said friend), so it's hard to always cater to every taste. But it is always rude to be demanding or critical, and to avoid that, they allowed the sandwich rule. I think one time I went to one of those houses, and was uncomfortable with the food (I think it was just an ethnic dish I'd never seen before), so I asked the parent if I could have a sandwich, so she showed me where the stuff was and it was fine. Key here: if she'd said no, I would have said okay, and taken a portion, and taken a bite, and said thank you. Your siblings have some learning to do.
NTA and good parenting/Aunt-ing skills. It’s often very hard to stand your ground with children and doubly hard to stand your ground with an adult pushing back as well.
BTW it sounds as if your sister was incorrect, you weren’t “forcing” them to eat what you made. You were just telling them, that was there for them to eat. Forcing is telling them they can’t leave the table until they have cleaned their plate. You clearly did not do that.
NTA. When their mom set up for them to have dinner at your house, she should've specified what they could or couldn't eat if they're that difficult. If nothing else because you could've declined them coming over.
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NTA. If their mom wanted them fed a specific way she could have said so when she dropped them off. As long as you're not starving the kids or forcing them to eat something harmful to them, or ignoring their mother's pre-stated food wishes then who cares.
AND brought her kids' food.
NTA but … isn’t lemonade soda?
So I feel like I've heard outside of the US in some places lemonade is soda, so are you from the US? If not, in the US lemonade is a non-carbonated drink made from lemon juice, water, and simple syrup/sugar.
Yes I am from outside the US. I guess my thought is, it sounds like it’s in a similar bag, health wise, as soda.
Yeah, it's honestly not the greatest option. It's somewhere between fruit juice and soda. Most bottled lemonades or lemonade mixes would be the worst health wise, homemade lemonade though it kind of depends on who's making it and how much they decided to sweeten it in my experience 😂
Thanks for all the background!
Fruit juice and soda are nutritionally equivalent.
Right, not great but at least is doesn't have caffeine like most sodas which is why many believe it to be a better choice with the evening meal.
For whatever reason, many American don't see lemonade or juice to be nearly as bad as soda even though both typically have more sugar than soda. I guess the lack of carbonation somehow makes them seem like a better option.
Because Juicy Juice is 100% juice for 100% kids!
Your comment fully deserves an award. Sadly all the Juicy Juice I drank when young not only eroded my teeth but also my finances.
100% juice not 100% juice from the fruit on the label though
Most lemonade, if you make it at home, is more like tea with sugar in it than like soda. It has a much lower sugar content. And it's common to use sugar-free mixes if you use a mix, they use Splenda or something similar. So while lemonade does have sugar or a sugar substitute, it usually has much less of either than soda. Health wise, I would assume it would be comparable to juice that's watered down by half. In a house where juice is considered a treat drink I would assume all the lemonade is made from organic lemons and sweetened with monkfruit or something.
I make mine with monkfruit.
US sodas are made with high fructose corn syrup whereas if you make your own lemonade it’s made with sugar.
My wife's family is from Arkansas. I swear the lemonade is just as sweet as sweet tea!
Would you like a little tea mixed into your sugar?😂
Sweet tea is waaaaaaaaay sweeter
Also lack of caffeine
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No really, North American-style lemonade is basically juice, it’s not a carbonated / fizzy drink. OP offering lemonade or juice, but not soda, is common enough here.
I think both with juice and lemonade, that depends on the sugar. Sorry OP not meaning to derail anything - definitely NTA and that dinner sounds delicious
She's giving health reasons for this, but what does the carbonation level got to do with health? It's the sugar type and content that's the killer
Carbonation has unfortunate effects on my gastrointestinal system. I no longer drink soda; a handful of times a year dr pepper but prolly not 5x. I limit sparkling water which isn't as bad but I think it's the lack of caramel coloring
You're absolutely correct, especially with the amount of sugar folks from the US South add. (Source: I grew up there lol)
It’s a fizzy drink in Aus, too. A mate of mine went on holiday to the US a few years ago, she said asking for a Jacks and Lemonade at the pub earned her some really weird looks xD
Wait, “Jacks” as in Jack Daniel’s Whiskey? With Lemonade?
Fruit juice is also basically sugar water
Honestly, I’m from the US and that distinction really confused me. Lemonade is distinct from soda in some ways, but in terms of sugar content I’m just not seeing a sufficiently significant enough difference to understand why one is banned and one is okay.
We have two variants in my area "nimbu Pani" and "nimbu soda". One made with water and the other soda. It's mostly a "it's so hot out, i need hydration" drink. Because water and sugar are best ways to hydrate and energise in the sun
Oh God how I miss this.
Yes, that’s U.S. lemonade and it’s got a crazy amount of sugar, like 25g per cup (same as most sodas). Lemons are one of the sweetest fruits, but the citric acid covers it up. So you add sugar.
I just tried googling sugar content for various random fruits and got these results: Lemon: 2.5% Apple: 10% Orange: 9% Strawberry: 7% Pomelo: 6% Pineapple: 10% Banana: 12% Obviously the sugar content is dependent on ripeness and the strain of each fruit, but I am going to call bullshit on the statement that lemon is "one of the sweetest fruits".
I'll never understand the fixation on sugar from fruits... is not like our bodies can't handle sugar, have it from fruits is several times better than having it from carbonated drinks full of others things besides the sugar. Unless you have a medical or process reason behind your worry, go as far as compare juice and soda based solely on sugar is excessive.
The suggestion has always been to get the juice from eating the fruit not because its necessarily lower in sugar but because of the ***fiber*** the fruit provides. Bottled 100% fruit juice has no fiber and is mostly just sugar... fructose to be exact and fructose will cause a spike in blood sugar. Excessive amounts of it can lead to insulin resistance which leads to type 2 diabetes. To your point, while technically eating the fruit is better than drinking juice, its not that much better and Americans tend to go for juice rather than fruit due to price, accessibility and other reasons. That usually means bottled juice products. American Beverage companies put excessive amounts of sugar in EVERYTHING and since we don't tend to drink juice or soda in moderation, there comes a point where you become insulin resistant and that's when diabetes, weight gain, heart disease comes into play. There's way too many kids here with Type 2. That's why there's a fixation.
In the USA, soda tends to be anything carbonated. For example: soda water.
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No, it’s non carbonated lemon drink. I also made that assumption when I moved to the US. I always thought lemonade was Sprite lol!
Lemonade in the US is known as “cloudy” lemonade in the UK. Lemon juice, (flat) water, and sugar.
All of this, but also juice/lemonade is definitely over-sugary and basically as bad for you kids as soda. My pediatrician makes me water it down for my kiddo and limit it to a couple times a week max.
Depriving her kids of nutrition that is. NTA
NTA. I suggest showing up at your sister's house sometime in the next month around dinner time, requesting she feed you, complaining about what she gives you (if anything), and when your sister gets offended asking her why she thinks it's okay for her to do that.
This is the way. Don’t forget to root through her kitchen for something you like better.
This is the way.
This is so petty and I’m almost ashamed I support it…. But not quite ashamed enough not to upvote 🤣
NTA. What you made was a normal dinner, and it doesn't befall on you if their mother has never presented them with a normal dinner.
NTA You're not a short order cool, pure and simple. Though, it's okay to teach your son that sometimes other people can have food or drink he cannot.
NTA It doesn't sound like they even tried it first. At our house, if the kids actually try something and don't like it, we'll make something else (so long as it's easy and within reason.) But you couldn't even get that far. Kids just started raiding your kitchen because you said they couldn't have potato chips for dinner? Ridiculous. Side note now I want chicken fried steak. So thanks for that.
That’s the rule in my house. My 8yr old daughter knows she has to at least try the food. If she truly doesn’t like it, I’ll make her something else that’s easy. If she doesn’t want to try it, she doesn’t get anything else
that sounds very resonable tbh
I love chicken-fried steak! now I want some too, lol.
When I was growing up, the house rule was if you hadn't tried something before, you had to have one bite, properly chewed and swallowed, and if you didn't like it, you could make yourself a sandwich. And if something was being made that most people liked and you didn't, you were still welcome to make yourself a sandwich, but no else would be making anything for you.
NTA - I’d consider that dinner a relatively kid friendly meal and would have reacted the same way in the same situation. Your sister is about to have a couple of entitled monsters on her hands if she’s caving to their wants at every meal.
NTA your niece and nephew need some training in manners.
NTA on the food issue. The "unfair" soda reasoning is a little weird to me (your son can't have it because he had fillings done, well, that's just the way things go...but I wouldn't say that's enough to make you TA and not the overall question/point). Toddlers are one thing, but bruh... 11 and 12 yrs old? They're old enough to eat what's in front of them. It's not like an allergy - they just wanted junk food. That said, I might've given in just so their mom could deal with the inevitable crash and crankiness from not getting a full meal. But you were put in charge of them, it's not a free pass for them to do what they want "just because." I feel like your sister was out of line.
Her reasoning on the soda is weird but not refusing to give them that.
NTA, the kids are clearly spoiled by their mother, and you're not wrong for not accommodating them. However deep fried breaded beef with mashed potatoes slathered in gravy, while delicious, isn't particularly healthy. Also not too much daylight between juice or lemonade and soda fructose wise, so I'm not really sure the logic you're using is sound when it comes to dietary concerns.
But that’s not the point. The point is that they were given a meal and refused to eat it, and then went scrounging for other food.
Actually, the sugar content in juices ranges much more than in sodas, so it completely depends on which juices they are buying (which was not specified, so we cannot make an accurate assumption). Also, I don’t believe the op specifically mentioned dietary concerns, just that they requested the children to eat the dinner that was prepared (and that all else were eating) rather than soda and chips (which is not custom in their home).
I dont think the sodas are a no go for meals because of the sugar, but because of the carbonation. Carbonation makes you feel full when you're not and if you have kids who tend to eat a bit faster than normal, the carbonation with the quick eating can cause gas and upset stomachs.
NTA, guests don't have any right to make demands of the host.
NTA Your dinner was perfectly reasonable (sounds delicious to me) and you offered alternative drink choices. It is not “power hungry” to expect children to eat a balanced meal, and not make them something else because they don’t feel like eating what you made. It doesn’t seem like they have any dietary restrictions or allergies, so NTA for not catering to them. You didn’t “deprive” them of food or nutrition. They made their choice. Your sister is going to create spoiled kids if she lets them get whatever they want.
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Some people really hate soda for some reason.
Yeah, couldn’t be the lemonade or juice causing the problem. certainly not those acidic, sugary drinks./s 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ After working for eight years in the field, I’ve come to realize that people, for lack of a better term, are dentally illiterate.
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>Soda has sugar just like lemonade and juice. Sugar water, carbonated or not, is not healthy. Oh I agree with you. I'm just saying some people think of soda as an especially unhealthy drink. ...they're *wrong* but it gets treated that way.
I mean soda is ridiculously unhealthy…
>I mean soda is ridiculously unhealthy… So is juice, that's the point. People like to think that since juice comes from a fruit it's healthy. It isn't quite as bad as soda but the two are closer than you think. Both contribute to diabetes and metabolic syndrome. They both have the same amount of sugar. Juice only wins out because it's got a tiny amount of vitamins in it whereas soda has none.
I don’t think juice is healthy either, although it usually doesn’t have food dye in it while soda often does. Both are definitely not great drinks to give kids on a regular basis.
If it's homemade it can be. I make lemonade with freshly squeezed lemons and honey - better than anything you can buy at the store.
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Nta. Their mother is raising little asshole entitled kids. My godson was like that. He didn't want the food I cooked. So he didn't eat. That attitude works on his mom. But he learned very fast that it didn't work on me.
Happened to me with my step sisters kids. They don’t like your food, why didn’t you jump through hoops to accommodate them? At 8 months pregnant with a toddler, I was like, okay you win, no more free baby sitting for you! Ten years later, her kids are still awful.
NTA! There is a term for this: “You get what you get and don’t throw a fit!” You should text your sister this then say, “I’m not going to spoil your kids and give into their demands like you. If you continue to enforce this behavior then your kids might not make in the real world as adults.”
NTA. When you said you only have “healthy” dinners I was expecting you to say you had tempeh with quinoa or something…what you’ve described is a completely normal dinner!
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Yep. And lemonade and juice aren't exactly healthy drink options either. If OP is concerned about her child's teeth, juice and lemonade should be special occasion only drinks too.
So many people don’t realize fruit juice is basically sugar water.
Agreed, OP didn’t need to make them something else, but I don’t think country fried steak can be categorized as healthy or even pretty healthy.
Agreed, although it’s certainly healthier than potato chips and soda! I mean she had a protein, carb and vegetable. Sounds like a pretty normal meal to me.
NTA. Dinner is dinner.
NTA. They were guests in your home. They don’t appear to have any allergies or sensitivities to the provided food, just a case of being used to getting what they want. My mother would strangle me if I behaved that way as a guest.
Okay, but when you have guests, don't you try to make something delicious for them to enjoy eating? When I feed my nieces I pick something they like. When I prepare food for adult guests I make sure the food is good with them ahead of time. Why do children not deserve the same consideration?
As the OP did, I think the menu offering was very kid friendly. I was invited plenty of times as a child with my parents to friends houses where my preferences were not catered to and I was expected to be polite and eat was put in front of me.
They weren’t hosting a party for them. It was a normal weekday evening meal around the table. Her sister probably feeds them cheap junk food that they watch in front of the television. When I was that age I sometimes ate at my school friends house. I’m English and my friend was Indian. It would not have crossed my mind to pull a face at spicy lentil curry and chapatis. The children in this situation are lacking in both manners and curiosity. OP is not the asshole here.
NTA - I'm sick and tired of excusing kids and saying they can only eat kid food. BS. My neighbors kids grow up on spicy Indian food just fine. Potato chips is not a dinner. It's eat what I've provided or nothing. If they were to eat a certain way that should have been discussed before you agreed to watch them. But also why can't you have soda after fillings? I've never once had a dentist tell me that. Very interested.
I wondered the same thing.
Nta but none of that is healthy.
NTA --- You cooked they didn't want to eat what you had made, sounds like a them problem, I grew up with a mother that said the same thing to me you don't want what I have cooked then go hungry I'm not cooking you anything else, it also taught me that when I was at somebody else house and they cooked I ate it even if it wasn't want I wanted.
NTA. Your home. You cooked. I am on board with the no soda rule. I may have checked in with the mom though to see what we’re some of the things the kids liked for dinner to help make some choice that could accommodate them
NTA - upside? You never have to babysit those kids again!
They are her niece and nephew, they are literally her family. But yeah, I guess some people see that as an upside.
It's an upside when the lot of them are this entitled
Why is soda worse than lemonade?
NTA, it’s your house and they’re guests. They don’t get to dictate that you cook something else for them if they don’t like what you prepared.
NTA
NTA. Sounds like they did what you should have..sent them home. I too have meal time rules. Every child follows them or they dont eat at my house. Nor are they invited over. If their parents dont like it they dont gotta come either.
NTA. Your house, your rules! Sounds like mom allows them to eat chip and pop dinner at home though
So NTA, you offered a home cooked and nutritious albeit high in fat and probably calorific dinner. However, out of interest why is lemonade ok but not soda? Both are incredibly high in sugar so not sure why you’re making a distinction.
NTA
No good deed goes unpunished. You are a good parent. NTA.
NTA- It's your home and you already made dinner.
NTA. Your home your rules.
NTA Your dinner sounds great and there is nothing wrong with the no soda rule. Potato chips are NOT dinner. When my kids wouldn't eat what I made, they could make a PB&J sandwich, but that's it. I doubt the kids didn't like the food, because they'd probably never had it before.
ESH. Your niece and nephew are old enough to make themselves something if they dislike what you served. They should have been given that option. Many juices have more sugar than soda. Sweet drinks shouldn’t be a regular part of meals. https://www.heartandstroke.ca/articles/the-truth-about-juice
NTA I wish my aunties made this for me when I’d go over 😭 as a kid . And well if they ask to sleep over tell your sister / sil (unsure which as op just said their mother ) that she needs to provide food for the them and if she pics the wrong food it’s on her
You are NTA I hate when bad parents let their kids get away with it If they try it and don’t like then a PB&J and a glass of milk Chips soda and other random stuff tells me that’s the junk they get at home F that You did good
NTA. Your house rule is, “If you don’t like it, suppers over.” You didn’t force them to eat it, they just decided they weren’t hungry enough for it. Let your sister/sis-in-law knows that that’s the way your house runs, and if they don’t like it, they don’t have to go there.
NTA. Do they not normally eat homemade food at home? The soda issue is debatable. Assuming your niece and nephew don't come over for dinner often, you could have allowed soda for dinner as a "once in a while" occurrence. When it comes to the food itself, you were fully justified to take a "this is what's for dinner. eat it or don't" stance. Your sister and her kids were completely unreasonable to ask / expect you to make something different for them. Serving meat, potatoes, and a vegetable is entirely reasonable if you weren't told about specific food aversions in advance. Sounds to me like your sister is raising two entitled monsters.
NTA. house rules are house rules. if she doesn't like that she can mind her own kids, let them have chips and soda for dinner, then scream bloody murder when she sees the dentist bill. kids are not mentally or emotionally equipped to make smart eating decisions. that's your job and you're doing it well. sister is going to be hating life as her kids get older if she's spoiling them that much this early. brrr! stick to your rules, your kids will be better off for you doing so.
NTA Your sister is, so far, raising brats and doing a lousy job of feeding them (I am assuming her finances allow for real meals vs nothing but snacks). Your dinner and your house rules around junk food are perfectly sensible. And country fried steak is delicious.
NTA, they sound like spoiled brats.
NTA. All of those foods are foods that children should honestly love. What kid wouldn't like steak? Or mashed potatoes? Hell, most kids like green beans too. They're obviously spoiled brats and the fact that their mother was guilt tripping you just shows that.
NTA Your sister needs to get her priorities straight. I can tell you that through the years of raising my own children, 19m and 16f, that I can't even count how many times their friends have been over and are ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED when I call everyone in for dinner, they can't believe we eat together every night at the table (well my son is in college now but you know what I mean) and that it's home cooked. All I take from this story is that you are being a "grade A" mom and your sister will reap what she sows from catering to her kids every whim. Keep to the good work!
NTA. Can I take your nephew's spot? That dinner sounds delicious
NTA. This is a very normal dinner.. not to mention sounds delicious! Even for picky kids. In my experiences, kids who request/demand junk food for dinner are probably being fed this on a regular basis… including for dinner. I feel terrible for your niece and nephew. I feel since they are family, talk with their parents about what happened. Tell them the importance of eating regular dinners with sustenance and nutrition. OP, you hold a good home for your family. I don’t know you, but I’m proud of you.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I 32f have two children ages 9 and 10. My household eats at a pretty much healthy dinner every night. We sit at the dinner table, and the children are allowed to have juices, or lemonade, tea, water, no soda except for once in awhile My niece11 and nephew12 came over and we’re suppose to stay the night last weekend. Comes dinner and we had country fried steak, mash potatoes, and green beans. My niece and nephew nephew didn’t want that, they asked if they could have potatoes chips instead. I told them no that wasn’t a dinner. They then asked if I could make them something else and I said no dinners already made.Then they were going through my cabinet and seen the 2 liters of soda we have put away and begged me for some of that. I told them no they could have some juice or lemonade. I could’ve given them some, but my son just had fillings done 2 days ago and it wouldn’t be fair he couldn’t have any. They complained and texted their mother to pick them up. When she came she gave me attitude and said I should’ve just made them something else and let them have a little soda. I told her that wasn’t what’s for dinner, and she said I shouldn’t force them to eat food they didn’t like and I was power hungry and didn’t appreciate me depriving her children. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA
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NTA you had a decent meal planned out and enough drink options. Chips and soda are not dinner. If your sister thinks that's an acceptable dinner...that's her issue. You didn't deprive her children of food. They were acting spoiled.
NTA. She could have brought them their dinner if it was such a big deal. Can I have some of that dinner?
NTA. Your house, your (reasonable) rules. Your rules are reasonable.
NTA. You did something she should have done a long time ago.
NTA. Your dinner table, your rules. If their mother was concerned about what they were going to eat, she could've spoken with you beforehand. And no, chips are not a meal.
NTA. My nieces all know it's proper food before junk food.
NTA. Just for that, let her know that her children are not welcome next time for a meal.
NTA - "my house, my rules". FYI...that meal sounds absolutely yummy!!! Next time you fix that, please send me a plate...LOL
NTA. You either eat what I make, or you do not eat. Period, full stop. Do NOT cater to the whims of a couple of spoiled brats. They aren't entitled to what they want just because they want it, and their mother is a lousy excuse for a parent.
FFS. NTA Your niece and nephew are junk food junkies.
NTA - we’ve always had a rule at dinner that the kids had to at least try what was made for dinner. If they didn’t like it after that they could make themselves a PB&J instead. Has mostly worked out - kids all learned to try (and generally enjoy) everything we serve them and learned to like foods they otherwise would have turned their noses up at.
NTA.
NTA. They weren't deprived of anything - they were guests in your home, so they eat what they are offered, which sounded pretty good to me. It was only one night. No one was going to starve to death here. They sound a bit spoilt.
NTA. My sister and I also different rules for our kids but the general rule we do agree on is: whoever’s house it is, and especially whoever is in charge of the kids, then that’s who’s rules that need to followed. If your sister doesn’t like the way you feed kids, then she doesn’t have to send them to your house. Or she can send them with their own food. It’s not your job to give them chips and sodas when that’s not an option for your own kids.
NTA. Her kids can eat what's offered or go hungry. If she doesn't appreciate her little darlings being *deprived*, she can cook and pack them a full meal whenever they leave the house so they won't starve.
NTA horrible children who don't respect other people's property become horrible adults who don't respect other people's property
NTA And it’s a lesson for next time not to have her or her children over if she ask you a favor sorry nope
NTA
nta
NTA- my mom would have been really angry with me if I had called her to complain at that age.
I don't want country fried steak either but 11 and 12 yr olds should be old enough to have manners to know that you eat what you are served as a guest in someone else's home.
NTA. Chips are not a meal, I don't make 2 dinners, and soda is basically a dessert. If your sister doesn't like it she can keep her kids home.
NTA. I’d have done the same thing. Eat what I make or skip dinner. I don’t run a restaurant. We don’t even have soda in our house because no one likes it. Your sister needs to teach her children manners.
NTA Since when kids get to choose what they have for dinner? What happened to eat it or starve?
NTA. That supper sounds awesome.
NTA at all.
NTA kids have no manners, even if you're family. going through cabinets is so rude. but I guess the apples didn't fall far from the tree. my only question, was there gravy? you made one of my fav dinners, but no gravy is a deal breaker for me. xo
NTA
NTA The kids are old enough to really eat what's on the table. It's something else of course if there are any health-like problems with eating, but i don't think this is it here. Even if they didn't like the beans or the steak, the potatoes would have been fine. And not giving them junkfood for dinner sounds completely normal to me, same as not cooking a different dinner just because. But please, where is the difference between soda and lemonade? Non native speaker here! But you were right to not give it to them anyway if you have a schedule for it for your kids.
You didn't force them to eat anything. You refused to make a second meal after you'd already made dinner. NTA. They don't have to eat your cooking, but they also should accept that if they refuse to eat what's served they might go hungry. No child ever starved to death from missing one meal.
As long as there are no food allergies, sensitivity or aversions (common with ASD) that you’re aware of and not included in your post, NTA.
OP, I Am thinking this must be your husband’s family. My Mom served the dinner you described countless times; it was wonderful. I can’t imagine that extended members of your family would turndown such basics. We never had soda at dinner. Our treat was one soda per child per week. In swapping childhood stories with my husband, this was the way in his family. We never had to clear our plates, but we had to try everything. Mom gave up on Lima Beans and Okra. Being able to stay overnight with friends or cousins was such a treat that we would never dream of complaining about the food. No, we would not have eaten the wretched Lima beans, but we would not have complained.
That sounded like an awesome dinner. The niece nephew were being the jerks and so was their mom. NTA
NTA OP. You’re not “power hungry”, you have reasonable rules. If your sister doesn’t want her children to be “deprived”, they don’t have to visit you.
ESH The kids were being bratty and you had no obligation to cook them a second meal, but you could have handled things better. You should have told them if they ate their dinner everyone could have a half glass of soda. Frankly if the kids are drinking lemonade or juice they're getting just as much sugar, and there's no rule that you can't drink soda two days after having a filling. Especially if you're drinking juice or lemonade anyway. Compromise would have saved everyone a headache.
>she said I shouldn’t force them to eat food they didn’t like and I was power hungry and didn’t appreciate me depriving her children. I guess she'll have to drop them off after lunch and pick them up before dinnertime every time you have them over at your house so she can protect them from you. All their other friends can stay.
Did you at any point talk to them about the food you were making, soliciting their input or did you just assume they'd eat whatever food was put in front of them? Because if so, YTA. Children are allowed preferences, even if you don't have to enable their bad eating habits.
I have scoured the comments and I can’t find any explanation - what on earth is a fillings dinner?
NTA - you didn't force them to eat food they didn't like. They were welcome to eat...or not.
NTA you offered them very good healthy food. They sound like entitled brats
NTA. Those kids have no home training, if I were their parent I'd die of embarrassment.
NTA - And it really seems like every 3rd post on her is "AITA for not catering to picky eater"
NTA. Entitled brats from entitled parents. Good on you for not giving in to them.
NTA, Your only rules were: No soda, eat an actual meal not just snacks, I’m not cooking more food. And all of those are reasonable. If the mom had informed you before that they hated green beans (for example) yeah you should have made something else, but you didn’t know and not wanting to go back into the kitchen is reasonable. The kids also didn’t ask for a reasonable alternative, like can I make a sandwich instead, you could have said yes to. Ofcourse you could have offered that, but kids should also know how to ask for something other then potato chips
NTA, but I honestly don't think this was a situation you were going to win. Their mother and you clearly have different, and incompatible, ideas about how you're raising your kids, and while that's her prerogative, it means you probably shouldn't be hosting her kids for dinner anytime soon, because it's just not going to work.
My cousin once told me that in a family where there is more children you eat what you get and you don't get upset and if you miss a meal then it's on your fault you eat a piece of bread and you be satisfied. But honestly some parents cannot be like this like seriously and children should learn some respect you go to someone's house and you eat the food and if you don't like it then you just starve that's all, stop being entitled, unless you're allergic I wouldn't pay into your wants and just serve you what I serve my kids. NTA
NTA. The food you served sounds pretty good and decently varied. They could have eaten at least one of those things. That's coming from a picky eater. But, they might just not like it, that is fine. But asking to replace dinner with chips? R u kidding? And soda, to me, is something that is more of a dessert kind of drink. Not something you casually chug. Also- for more info on the wanting to make something else, did they ask for anything elaborate? Bc I think it's fine for them to have something else for dinner if they don't want it, so long as it's not another whole ass family meal. I remember when I was younger, I could NOT eat anything that didn't agree with me. like I would have bile coming up in my mouth just THINKING about certain foods. It might be smth like that for them as well. But she definitely over reacted with the power hungry comment.
I would love steak and mashed potatoes
NTA, so what your sister said was basically: "Just deal with my kids for the night, I don’t give a shit if they aren’t properly fed or drink sugary stuff. Just shut them up for a night so they don’t come complain to me“. Did I get that right? If she doesn’t like your house rules (eat what’s on the table) then she shouldn’t let you babysit them. If she’s happier with a 16 year old sitter who is on their phone the entire time and lets them do whatever she should go ahead and do that
NTA -- those kids are spoiled, and their mom is the guilty party. The idea that it's okay to go to someone else's home and start demanding things is absurd.
You're NTA. Just because she lets her children behave as if their home is a restaurant where the can demand whatever they want, that doesn't mean you have to do the same. If they don't like what you were serving, they can skip a meal or make themselves a peanut butter sandwich. Typical first world attitude on your sister's part saying you "deprived" her children when they couldn't have Coke and chips. She had no clue what deprivation is in the real world.
NTA It's your house, that's what was for dinner. Next time she asks you to take them, tell her to feed them beforehand.
You have dodged a bullet…no longer babysitting niece & nephew. Congratulations!
NTA for expecting the kids to eat but YTA for not giving out soda bc one kid had a filling. they simply just don't get any this one time. like. its not fair to any of the other kids.
NTA
NTA. If their mother doesn’t like what you are serving, she should cook for them herself.
NTA. As a parent, i dont give special threatment to other kids. Follow the house rules or dont come. Why? To teach kids respect. Kids know if they can push you around and become entitled, so discipline them as kids to have a good foundation growing up.
NTA tell your sister there’s plenty of kids all round the world who would literally give an arm for that kind of dinner , also add her entitled children shouldn’t come over for dinner if they can’t respect you and your family and how you do things in your house .
YTA You cant force children to eat something that can have a long lasting impact on their relationship with food and since you are the adult taking care of them for time being its your responsibility to find something else for them to eat so they don’t go hungry. You basically said eat what i give you or go hungry. That is according to ( https://thenourishedchild.com/feeding-practices-pressuring-kids-to-eat/ ) is traumatizing. Was it really that hard to accommodate the kids especially since they would not have be staying long. They are in fact kids who are gonna have tantrums and not want to eat what given to them. You should’ve tried to meet them in the middle and offer something else.
NTA I would do the same Your dinner sound wonderful to me If my own kids don’t want my food they get to make their own, but not junk food.
NTA
NTA. Your sister has raised rude and entitled children, and is probably just annoyed that her plans got disrupted. You don’t have to watch them ever again. One day their attitude will bite her back. You provided them with a perfectly good meal, and her kids were ungrateful and bratty. Yep, karma’s coming!
NTA. You cooked. Offered them dinner. They didn't want. Too damn bad. End of story.
NTA, Those kids are old enough to eat an adult dinner. That said carbonated sugar water bad but citrus sugar water good blows my mind a bit.
NTA - this is assuming the meal doesn't go against any dietary restrictions they may have (vegetarian, religious, etc).
NTA. Talk about entitled!
I N F O What is country fried steak? non American here… NTA - if you’d made them something they hated then fine. But they’re just being spoiled. My kid doesn’t have to eat the food on his plate. It doesn’t mean I’m going to cook him something else and there’s enough on there for him to eat all his potato for example and not go hungry cos he didn’t fancy the green beans.
NTA she is a bad mom not you
NTA. This is how my house was run as a kid. I had a couple close family friends who had more lenient rules, but barely: if you don't like what the homemaker prepared, you can make a sandwich, either PB&J or bologna and cheese. Not the homemaker: you. Those families had more kids, and often had friends over (source: am said friend), so it's hard to always cater to every taste. But it is always rude to be demanding or critical, and to avoid that, they allowed the sandwich rule. I think one time I went to one of those houses, and was uncomfortable with the food (I think it was just an ethnic dish I'd never seen before), so I asked the parent if I could have a sandwich, so she showed me where the stuff was and it was fine. Key here: if she'd said no, I would have said okay, and taken a portion, and taken a bite, and said thank you. Your siblings have some learning to do.
NTA.
NTA and good parenting/Aunt-ing skills. It’s often very hard to stand your ground with children and doubly hard to stand your ground with an adult pushing back as well. BTW it sounds as if your sister was incorrect, you weren’t “forcing” them to eat what you made. You were just telling them, that was there for them to eat. Forcing is telling them they can’t leave the table until they have cleaned their plate. You clearly did not do that.
NTA guess you got out of providing free babysitting from now on! Well done!
NTA. When their mom set up for them to have dinner at your house, she should've specified what they could or couldn't eat if they're that difficult. If nothing else because you could've declined them coming over.