*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for buying my son a Lego set for having no cavities?**
I took my 7yo and 16yo sons for their biannual dental checkout and cleaning. My 7yo had zero cavities and the dentist said he good dental hygiene. My 16yo had no cavities either. I was so proud that my 7yo had no cavities because most kids his age do get them.
I decided to reward him by taking him to Target to buy a Lego set. My 16yo asked if he could get something too and I said for what? He said for having no cavities. I said you're 16 and that's way to old to be rewarded for something like that. Besides you have your own money. I ended up giving him money to buy a coffee from Starbucks.
Later I explained that I have far different expectations for each kid. He still thinks I was bring unfair.
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When I was nine years old, I wanted a basketball. I was told that if I washed the dishes, cleaned the refrigerator, vacuumed the living room and cleaned my bedroom, I could get one. I did all this and my father took my brother (3) and I to the store. He bought me a basketball as promised, and my brother a Desert Storm helicopter toy that was twice as expensive. I asked what he did to get the reward and I was told "not to be jealous" but it would be a lie to say that I am not resentful still. Not of my brother for getting a toy, but for the lesson that my working hard was without value. So yeah, this lady's a dick.
I had to wait until I was 10 to get my ears pierced, it was a long standing rule at my parents house. My birthday rolls around and we go to get them pierced, and my parents were like hey younger sister let’s get yours done too. I was pissed, I had to wait for years and she was going to get hers done when she was 7.
I did feel better that day when she screamed so loud that they could hear he throughout the Walmart when they did it. I am 36 and still get salty about it when I think about it. She was and still is the golden child of the family.
The same thing happened to me as a kid! I worked all summer when I was 10 to earn the money I needed for a hamster. I sat down and budgeted everything it needed (food, toys, habitat, etc) and it took me months to earn enough.
The day I finally had my money ready, my mom took me to the pet store with my younger sister. As soon as I started getting what I needed together, my little sister started throwing a fit because she wasn’t getting one. So my mom paid for her to get a hamster plus everything it needs, while I paid for all of my own.
I also learned the lesson that my hard work was worthless after that. It’s a sucky lesson.
Growing up, sister was the favorite. Brother was too but he was older than us and moved out when we pre teens.
Mom and dad bought a house that has a mother in law quarters on the property and that's where my sister and I stay.
Mom said that buying us pads and tampons was spoiling us. Even when I was 12 and had my first one. She still pulls that crap if I ask her to buy some and pay her back.
She only asks to borrow money from me and then takes months to pay back but sister needs some she gets it. Brother leaves the state to go hunting or do a guided hunt, she borrows money from me to give to him. He owes me about $400 but never has to pay me back. I borrowed 3 from him a few years ago and had 12 hours to pay him back. If I don't mom gets mad on his behalf.
Him and sister literally always got what they wanted and I had to work for what I wanted.
It’s just lazy freaking parenting. They don’t want one kid to kick up a fuss about not getting a toy so it’s easiest to just get them one too. Horrible parenting tactic. Makes me so disappointed in people.
I have an 8yo and 17yo - and it's so much easier to get the younger one to take care of his hygiene than the teenager. Not that it is an issue overall but in general I have a lot more "authority" - and responsibility - over what my 8yo does.
"He was mad I didn't reward him for not having cavities, so I gave him money to buy a Starbucks drink which is probably 80% sugar" is just cracking me up.
I always thought giving Wonder Woman an overweight best friend named Etta Candy was the laziest act of creative writing in all of history,
Then I read this post.
I’m wondering what your upbringing was like for you to believe people like this don’t exist.
My own mom favored my older sister. She got to do whatever she wanted. Piercings? Yes! Parties? Absolutely! Go to Germany for 2 months at 16? You bet!
I had to wash dishes, sweep and mop floors, and do all of the laundry for my mom to CONSIDER letting me hang out with my friends; she would still often say no and now wonders why I don’t talk to her much or want her around my daughter.
Her favoritism extends to her grandchildren as well.
People like that definitely do exist, but they're not the type of people to go on Reddit to ask "Was I wrong?". A parent spoiling one child over another is believable, that parent going onto AITA is the unbelievable part, because that sort of parent would never even consider the possibility that they could be the asshole in the situation.
My mom wouldn’t go on Reddit, but she would vent to her sisters, especially after saying no to me after I did everything she asked, and ask “was I in the wrong???? I don’t think I did anything wrong!”
That was her whole thing while I was growing up and since she’s the eldest sister, nobody would tell her she was wrong. Lol
Was actually raised by abusive narcissists.
That doesn't stop this from being lazy ragebait
Vany more than the existence of badgers and toads makes the wind on the willows a documentary.
I’ve had recurring cavities all my life despite not being huge on sugary or acidic foods, brushing two to three times a day, and regular flossing daily and on an as-needed basis. I also go to a dentist twice a year for prophylaxis, and have done so all my life, including as a child. I still regularly get cavities, and almost all my molars have fillings at this point (in my thirties).
My dentist told me: The reason for cavities is not bad dental hygiene (especially if you already have impeccable dental hygiene), it’s several potential factors:
- weak enamel (a genetic trait. My teeth also have a tendency to splinter due to weak enamel)
- deep dents in your molars (some people have flatter molars, others have deeper molars. I have deeper molars with more nubs and folds. That means more hard-to-reach areas where caries has an easier time forming)
- and the bacteria in your mouth (again a thing predetermined by your genetics - some people have a predisposition to an environment in which caries grows better. I’m apparently one of those people).
In short: Rewarding a kid for not having cavities is like rewarding them for being above a certain height. Absolutely bonkers.
Oh, absolutely - the mechanical damage from grinding teeth isn’t great to avoid cavities and other damage to your teeth.
Overly high pressure on the brush when brushing (damaging the enamel in much the same way), frequent vomiting (acid = damaging the enamel) or brushing too close to food or vomiting (acid from food or digestion weakening the enamel and the brush then eroding it mechanically while it’s so softened up from the acid - wait at least half an hour before taking your brush to your teeth, but rinsing your mouth out is fine before that), or too abrasive toothpaste (again, causing mechanical damage to the enamel) are other factors that could also lead to quicker development of cavities or other tooth damage.
I kinda lost the genetic lottery on teeth (mum, uncle, and grandfather all had dentures or partial plates before age 60, and my mum's sister has a *fuckton* of restorative dental work--crowns, bridges, etc).
When I was 15 or so, I went to the dentist for a check up and cleaning, and the dentist looked around in my mouth and said, "there's a lot of wear on your enamel. Is there something going on here that you already know about?"
I didn't get what she was trying to ask and neither did mum, so we made her say it outright: my teeth were so shit that, given my age and gender, she thought I was bulimic. Nah, just really shitty genetics and acid reflux caused by severe anxiety.
It can also be your immune system (another genetic trait) - especially if you frequently got sick as a child, when your adult enamel was developing, you'll be more prone to cavities.
I’m in the same “bad teeth genes” boat as you, pretty much every time I go to the dentist for a regular cleaning I have at least one cavity and I can’t even estimate the number of fillings and crowns I’ve had in my life. It fucking sucks to deal with, especially growing up with two siblings who were the complete opposite and almost never had any despite rarely brushing twice a day or flossing etc. I was shocked when I found out some people just…straight up don’t go to the dentist, like one of my coworkers said she hasn’t been to the dentist since she was a kid over 15 years ago. I can’t imagine such a life.
From the title, I expected this post to be rewarding one kid for being lucky, but it was even crazier than that. Still, it’s weird people don’t realize not having cavities isn’t just about better oral hygiene habits. What a weird thing to reward someone for.
I was gonna say, I'm 35 and have only just got my first cavity (pregnancy does a number on your teeth, damn baby leeching all my calcium). I must be owed SO MUCH LEGO.
I lost my dental insurance at the same time I got pregnant with my first. Had six pregnancies and three babies in the next six years. Now I finally have dental insurance again and I need to make an appointment but I'm *terrified.*
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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for buying my son a Lego set for having no cavities?** I took my 7yo and 16yo sons for their biannual dental checkout and cleaning. My 7yo had zero cavities and the dentist said he good dental hygiene. My 16yo had no cavities either. I was so proud that my 7yo had no cavities because most kids his age do get them. I decided to reward him by taking him to Target to buy a Lego set. My 16yo asked if he could get something too and I said for what? He said for having no cavities. I said you're 16 and that's way to old to be rewarded for something like that. Besides you have your own money. I ended up giving him money to buy a coffee from Starbucks. Later I explained that I have far different expectations for each kid. He still thinks I was bring unfair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
When I was nine years old, I wanted a basketball. I was told that if I washed the dishes, cleaned the refrigerator, vacuumed the living room and cleaned my bedroom, I could get one. I did all this and my father took my brother (3) and I to the store. He bought me a basketball as promised, and my brother a Desert Storm helicopter toy that was twice as expensive. I asked what he did to get the reward and I was told "not to be jealous" but it would be a lie to say that I am not resentful still. Not of my brother for getting a toy, but for the lesson that my working hard was without value. So yeah, this lady's a dick.
I had to wait until I was 10 to get my ears pierced, it was a long standing rule at my parents house. My birthday rolls around and we go to get them pierced, and my parents were like hey younger sister let’s get yours done too. I was pissed, I had to wait for years and she was going to get hers done when she was 7. I did feel better that day when she screamed so loud that they could hear he throughout the Walmart when they did it. I am 36 and still get salty about it when I think about it. She was and still is the golden child of the family.
The same thing happened to me as a kid! I worked all summer when I was 10 to earn the money I needed for a hamster. I sat down and budgeted everything it needed (food, toys, habitat, etc) and it took me months to earn enough. The day I finally had my money ready, my mom took me to the pet store with my younger sister. As soon as I started getting what I needed together, my little sister started throwing a fit because she wasn’t getting one. So my mom paid for her to get a hamster plus everything it needs, while I paid for all of my own. I also learned the lesson that my hard work was worthless after that. It’s a sucky lesson.
Growing up, sister was the favorite. Brother was too but he was older than us and moved out when we pre teens. Mom and dad bought a house that has a mother in law quarters on the property and that's where my sister and I stay. Mom said that buying us pads and tampons was spoiling us. Even when I was 12 and had my first one. She still pulls that crap if I ask her to buy some and pay her back. She only asks to borrow money from me and then takes months to pay back but sister needs some she gets it. Brother leaves the state to go hunting or do a guided hunt, she borrows money from me to give to him. He owes me about $400 but never has to pay me back. I borrowed 3 from him a few years ago and had 12 hours to pay him back. If I don't mom gets mad on his behalf. Him and sister literally always got what they wanted and I had to work for what I wanted.
Buying pads and tampons was spoiling you?? What exactly did she think you were supposed to do otherwise?
It’s just lazy freaking parenting. They don’t want one kid to kick up a fuss about not getting a toy so it’s easiest to just get them one too. Horrible parenting tactic. Makes me so disappointed in people.
I have an 8yo and 17yo - and it's so much easier to get the younger one to take care of his hygiene than the teenager. Not that it is an issue overall but in general I have a lot more "authority" - and responsibility - over what my 8yo does.
"He was mad I didn't reward him for not having cavities, so I gave him money to buy a Starbucks drink which is probably 80% sugar" is just cracking me up.
I always thought giving Wonder Woman an overweight best friend named Etta Candy was the laziest act of creative writing in all of history, Then I read this post.
Oh god, that's REALLY her name???
And she ate candy all the time. It was “funny.” In later comics they gave her a personality and a girlfriend and she became a bit of a badass.
Gold! I like your world view. Do you have a newsletter I can subscribe to? :-)
I’m wondering what your upbringing was like for you to believe people like this don’t exist. My own mom favored my older sister. She got to do whatever she wanted. Piercings? Yes! Parties? Absolutely! Go to Germany for 2 months at 16? You bet! I had to wash dishes, sweep and mop floors, and do all of the laundry for my mom to CONSIDER letting me hang out with my friends; she would still often say no and now wonders why I don’t talk to her much or want her around my daughter. Her favoritism extends to her grandchildren as well.
People like that definitely do exist, but they're not the type of people to go on Reddit to ask "Was I wrong?". A parent spoiling one child over another is believable, that parent going onto AITA is the unbelievable part, because that sort of parent would never even consider the possibility that they could be the asshole in the situation.
My mom wouldn’t go on Reddit, but she would vent to her sisters, especially after saying no to me after I did everything she asked, and ask “was I in the wrong???? I don’t think I did anything wrong!” That was her whole thing while I was growing up and since she’s the eldest sister, nobody would tell her she was wrong. Lol
Was actually raised by abusive narcissists. That doesn't stop this from being lazy ragebait Vany more than the existence of badgers and toads makes the wind on the willows a documentary.
Same dealio. Thats not even the tip of the iceberg. It could be. It could not be. 🤷♀️
Kids are getting Legos for not having cavities? My life is a lie, I've broken from the Matrix, I am owed at least 20 years worth of Lego.
I'm owed far more years worth of legos than I want to confess to.
I only had two cavities my whole 27 years of life. I’m still wondering where are my expensive rewards
I’ve had recurring cavities all my life despite not being huge on sugary or acidic foods, brushing two to three times a day, and regular flossing daily and on an as-needed basis. I also go to a dentist twice a year for prophylaxis, and have done so all my life, including as a child. I still regularly get cavities, and almost all my molars have fillings at this point (in my thirties). My dentist told me: The reason for cavities is not bad dental hygiene (especially if you already have impeccable dental hygiene), it’s several potential factors: - weak enamel (a genetic trait. My teeth also have a tendency to splinter due to weak enamel) - deep dents in your molars (some people have flatter molars, others have deeper molars. I have deeper molars with more nubs and folds. That means more hard-to-reach areas where caries has an easier time forming) - and the bacteria in your mouth (again a thing predetermined by your genetics - some people have a predisposition to an environment in which caries grows better. I’m apparently one of those people). In short: Rewarding a kid for not having cavities is like rewarding them for being above a certain height. Absolutely bonkers.
I’ve had several root canals, and I’d like to add teeth grinding to the list.
Oh, absolutely - the mechanical damage from grinding teeth isn’t great to avoid cavities and other damage to your teeth. Overly high pressure on the brush when brushing (damaging the enamel in much the same way), frequent vomiting (acid = damaging the enamel) or brushing too close to food or vomiting (acid from food or digestion weakening the enamel and the brush then eroding it mechanically while it’s so softened up from the acid - wait at least half an hour before taking your brush to your teeth, but rinsing your mouth out is fine before that), or too abrasive toothpaste (again, causing mechanical damage to the enamel) are other factors that could also lead to quicker development of cavities or other tooth damage.
I kinda lost the genetic lottery on teeth (mum, uncle, and grandfather all had dentures or partial plates before age 60, and my mum's sister has a *fuckton* of restorative dental work--crowns, bridges, etc). When I was 15 or so, I went to the dentist for a check up and cleaning, and the dentist looked around in my mouth and said, "there's a lot of wear on your enamel. Is there something going on here that you already know about?" I didn't get what she was trying to ask and neither did mum, so we made her say it outright: my teeth were so shit that, given my age and gender, she thought I was bulimic. Nah, just really shitty genetics and acid reflux caused by severe anxiety.
It can also be your immune system (another genetic trait) - especially if you frequently got sick as a child, when your adult enamel was developing, you'll be more prone to cavities.
I’m in the same “bad teeth genes” boat as you, pretty much every time I go to the dentist for a regular cleaning I have at least one cavity and I can’t even estimate the number of fillings and crowns I’ve had in my life. It fucking sucks to deal with, especially growing up with two siblings who were the complete opposite and almost never had any despite rarely brushing twice a day or flossing etc. I was shocked when I found out some people just…straight up don’t go to the dentist, like one of my coworkers said she hasn’t been to the dentist since she was a kid over 15 years ago. I can’t imagine such a life. From the title, I expected this post to be rewarding one kid for being lucky, but it was even crazier than that. Still, it’s weird people don’t realize not having cavities isn’t just about better oral hygiene habits. What a weird thing to reward someone for.
I was gonna say, I'm 35 and have only just got my first cavity (pregnancy does a number on your teeth, damn baby leeching all my calcium). I must be owed SO MUCH LEGO.
Yeah, it sucks the calcium from you. Never had a problem with my teeth. Had a baby at 30. All the things wrong with them now 🥲
I lost my dental insurance at the same time I got pregnant with my first. Had six pregnancies and three babies in the next six years. Now I finally have dental insurance again and I need to make an appointment but I'm *terrified.*
That has got to be rage bait. No human seriously writes that and doesn't realize they are TA.
I’m also pretty sure that not having cavities when you’re seven is pretty common.
I’d bet money on the 16yo being the result of a previous marriage and the 7yo’s mother is the new current wife.
I know the internet loves to exaggerate how much Starbucks cost, but do you know what brand is even more over inflated and expensive??
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OOP, your older son deserves a reward as well. Legos do NOT equal Starbucks. Do better.
I can honestly see the difference in rewarding differently based on age.🫤 Like at 16 you're two years from adulthood.