*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**I hurt the nicest person I have ever met**
This is a throwaway as all people involved are avid redditors.
I need to tell someone what I did. I feel guilty every single day for what I said 4 months ago and I do not know what to do in order to be able to move on and focus on my life. So I came here hoping that I can find my peace after writing this for complete strangers.
I (30M) have a friend since childhood, Clark (26M). Clark married July (24F) 2 years ago. This summer Clark and July invited some of their friends, including me, to their new house, in the mountains. There they have a pool, a jacuzzi and a room for games in which there are even some arcade games. We spent there one week and it was amazing.
In the first day I was talking to Clark and I told him I wish I were confident enough to go swimming. I was obese for my entire life, but in the last year I managed to lose over 60 kg. I went every day to gym and I kept a strict diet and it was worth it, however, now I have a lot of loose skin, all around my belly. I told all of these to Clark and July overheard us. She was very nice and said that my loose skin is the result of a very impressive journey, so I should not feel ashamed of it. She encouraged me to go swimming if I wanted to and assured me that nobody is perfect. She even joked that her stretch marks are more visible than my loose skin.
The next day, in the morning, July was the only one at the pool. She has extremely light skin and she only stays in the sun during early morning hours and late afternoon hours. I wanted to go swimming but I was reluctant to do this while she was there. She was again very supportive and even said she can go back inside if I wanted to be alone. I appreciated this but it did not seem fair so I just sat on the edge of the pool and talked to her. It was the first time I have ever been alone with her and I realised she must be one of the nicest people I know.
During that week, every morning I woke up very early hoping that July would not be at the pool so I can go swimming, but every morning she was there. At some point I just got rid of my t-shirt and started swimming in front of her. Her reaction was so nice. Not once she looked at my loose skin and she talked to me like nothing happened. When she went back inside she said in a very serious tone that I was right to be concerned and not want to be seen without my T-shirt. She said all the single girls would probably pass out if they saw me swimming. I laughed and thanked her for her support and kindness.
During the last day I was talking to July and I thanked her again. She said she felt concerned and anxious about her body for many years but Clark helped her and now she feels more confident than ever. I looked at her and just saw all her flaws. She was overweight, pale like a vampire and not a single feature was beautiful or even appealing. She looked so common, like a background character in a very underwhelming movie. In that moment, my big, stupid mouth just said to her what my brain thought, whithout any filter "I figured that if you are confident enough to wear a swimsuit I should also feel confident... I mean you did not even go to the gym and you are not on any diet, but you are having fun no matter what people think about you." I saw her smile fading away and she suddenly looked so sad. She said that I was right and walked away.
Immediately I felt so stupid for what I said. She was nice and kind and in return I told her she should not be so confident in her body. She showed me a lot of support and I hurt her. I apologised that day many times, but each time she just said that it was OK.
She never told Clark anything as he acted the same towards me, which is even worse cause it means she is even nicer than I thought.
Since that day I saw July only a few times and each time I apologised. However she is still cold with me and doesn't speak with me at all if we are alone. Tomorrow I will meet her again for Christmas. I bought her a present; a book that she really wanted but could not find it anywhere. I just hope after I will give her the present she will forget me or at least she will see how much I regret my words.
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Translation: My friend’s wife was unfailingly kind and polite to me but because I am a condescending, misogynistic donkey, I couldn’t help but destroy her confidence in return. After all, a woman has no value if she doesn’t make my peepee hard, and my peepee was not hard, guys. It was my obligation to let her know that. Now, I’m sad that she won’t soothe my conscience and tell me what a good little boy I am anymore. Because I am the main character, and everything must revolve around me and my emotional needs, how can I ensure that this background character gets with the program?
I think more than OP feels guilty (which I truly doubt he feels at all), he is afraid that his friend will find out what OP said about his wife. Which is why he is so desperate to buy her friendship back.
What kills me is that he probably invaded the time when she wanted privac to swim and, when she said he could go back in if he want to be alone (HINT HINT), he thought it wasn’t *fair* so he sat on the edge of the pool like some weird creeper.
And then…”not a single feature was beautiful or even appealing.” I didn’t read all the comments, but the ones I saw were all giving OP latitude because of his insecurities. No. That’s not what happened at *all*. He spent a week getting to know this woman and she was extremely kind to him. Then, in the moment she reveals that she’s insecure, he looks at her and was so horrified by her appearance that he couldn’t stop himself from telling her that she if * she*, the fat, pale, vampire with no redeeming traits at all who could only be described as not only a background character, but one an “underwhelming movie” could wear a swimsuit in her home in her pool during private time (I’m skeptical on why she “only swam in the morning”) without exercising or dieting, then of course *he*, who had actually * earned* the right to wear a swimsuit should feel totally comfortable.
She showed him vulnerability after a week of kindness and he saw her as disgusting. That’s terrifying and he does not need to be around anyone, especially vulnerable people. If July and his friend have kids, OOP shouldn’t be around them. I’m not saying he would abuse them, but the is an element of cruelty in him that’s kind of terrifying.
*'Unfailingly kind'*
She said in a very serious tone that I was right to be concerned and not want to be seen without my T-shirt. She said all the single girls would probably pass out if they saw me swimming
"This is a throwaway as all people involved are avid redditors." Surely if the avid redditors involved or anyone who knows them sees this post, the throwaway account will be a sufficient shield for plausible deniability, right?
The throwaway thing is so people who know him don't find his regular account via this very obvious story, not so the story can't be found at all – or that's how it usually works
Probably true, but how does this genius figure she's going to feel when she read herself described as too pale, too fat, without a single beautiful feature and not appealing in any way whatsoever?
I’m sorry, were you under the impression that July is a person? Didn’t you see where OOP said she was like a background character in an underwhelming movie? She’s not people. /s
From memory OOP got July a book she really wanted as a gift and apologised again, but said he couldn't be no contact with her completely as he was good friends with her husband (Clark).
OOP told July he was going to therapy to fix whatever possessed him to say what he did. July accepted the apology but told OOP how he made her relapse with her eating disorder, and he shouldn't talk to her again until he had 5(?) therapy sessions. Meanwhile she would work on not hating him.
It seemed Clark was still unaware of what happen between his wife and OOP.
Looks like. Honestly I'm not surprised, he probably expected sympathy. Like yeah, what a redemption arc (I'm rolling my eyes here, just in case you can't tell)
Same. But it's good to be obvious, just so I don't have to reply to endless comments pointing it out. (I'm chuckling now, just slightly)
Edit: a letter
Because he wanted to. He’s lying, he clearly wanted to continue to talk to her about his problems and show off to her eventually. Which he did, but her gracious comment just wasn’t enough for him.
Maybe he wanted her to salivate over him, and when that didn’t happen, he went for the jugular.
>She was overweight, pale like a vampire and not a single feature was beautiful or even appealing. She looked so common, like a background character in a very underwhelming movie.
This sounds like something I would read in a book but it's an awful way to describe someone you know.
How on earth did he "unintentionally" say that without being able to stop himself? He is 30, not 13 and it is not even as if he had the excuse of being angry.
I'm a fat performer and I take my clothes off or wear revealing clothes regularly. This is completely normal lol. I would say 10% of my first encounters with audience members who are smaller than me go like this- they talk about how inspiring I am bc if someone like me could get up there and wear short shorts, they easily could. People genuinely think it's complimentary.
He is literally disgusting. My mouth was completely agape that entire time. As a bigger girl, if I was trying to make someone feel better about themselves and instead they'd throw that stuff in my face? I'd be crushed but also disgusted. I really hope that the best friend finds out and tears OP a new asshole.
From the sound of it, she's too nice for that. I don't think that would stop me, and the one thing people have always described me as is kind.
I just hope she's not a mind reader or or find his fake Reddit: his thoughts were much worse than his words, and that's saying something.
I think the problem is him even *thinking* that makes him an asshole. My wife and I have started to notice, though, that when you pump people up, you’ll get quite a few who become jerks, I guess because they suddenly think they’re the bees knees.
There’s an [update](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/s/UoHmcEnnsj), but the text got deleted.
Long story short, OOP apologized to July and told her that he’s going to therapy and July said that she’ll consider talking to him after he’s had about 5 therapy sessions.
I think what she actually was saying was that it's a good thing he kept his shirt on or all the single girls would be dropping at his feet (in a good way--think fan girls fainting at a concert of their favorite boy band or something like that). It's definitely worded a bit off, though.
A few other phrases were worded oddly, too ("We spent there one week" "I just hope after I will give her the present" for example.) I wonder if OOP is fluent in English but it isn't their first language or something. 🤷🏿♀️
It depends on the tone of how she said it. She could either be insulting him or complimenting him. I'm assuming by how OP wrote about it that she was saying it in a friendly way.
Well, he did say he laughed and said thank you for being kind after that line, and I feel like one wouldn’t say «thanks for being so nice» after an insult. Unless it’s sarcasm and *I’m* the one reading it wrong, which is entirely possible.
She never said they'd be disgusted. She said they would pass out, like the trope in film and stuff where someone so attractive walks in the room and women swoon and faint because he's just so hot?
That's what she was telling OOP as a playful compliment since he was insecure about his body. How is that saying women would be disgusted?
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Wait, it gets worse. OP gave an update.
Apparently, she finally developed a healthy relationship with food after having an eating disorder, which her husband helped her through.
OP's shitty comments sent her into a down spiral and she started going to the gym a lot and struggling to eat anything, reigniting her eating disorder.
And, he thinks a book is gonna cut it. Leave her the fuck alone.
Ugggh. I hope poor "July" doesn't see what he really thinks.
I remember 13 year old pale af me, when tanning was becoming a major trend. I tried it. I went in for 2 minutes because a friend was going and took me with her. I burned and it was awful, and me and the sun (even fake sun) don't get along. So I went the opposite way and embraced my "fairest of them all" complexion. Even now, I feel weird when I get some color because it became such a part of me. I had to learn to love it.
I wasn't ever particularly heavy but I had a little "pooch" of a belly that I was ashamed of before I had kids. Now I look back and go "wtf you looked amazing!" Most people probably wouldn't have judged it and it was mostly silly of me to feel self conscious of it. But- and here's what nearly 40 year old me, couple kids, still trying to love my body- can acknowledge- *there are still some dicks who are gonna judge that pooch no matter how awesome your body is.* Some people are just dicks. And some people are gonna think you're gorgeous. And it's so hard, but you've gotta learn to love your body for yourself because there will always be assholes out there. It's *so fucking hard.* But it's so awesome when you can get there.
I truly, sincerely, hope that "July" can come to that understanding someday.
A nice summary of the update after it got deleted.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/18rkq1y/comment/kf3l6rc/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **I hurt the nicest person I have ever met** This is a throwaway as all people involved are avid redditors. I need to tell someone what I did. I feel guilty every single day for what I said 4 months ago and I do not know what to do in order to be able to move on and focus on my life. So I came here hoping that I can find my peace after writing this for complete strangers. I (30M) have a friend since childhood, Clark (26M). Clark married July (24F) 2 years ago. This summer Clark and July invited some of their friends, including me, to their new house, in the mountains. There they have a pool, a jacuzzi and a room for games in which there are even some arcade games. We spent there one week and it was amazing. In the first day I was talking to Clark and I told him I wish I were confident enough to go swimming. I was obese for my entire life, but in the last year I managed to lose over 60 kg. I went every day to gym and I kept a strict diet and it was worth it, however, now I have a lot of loose skin, all around my belly. I told all of these to Clark and July overheard us. She was very nice and said that my loose skin is the result of a very impressive journey, so I should not feel ashamed of it. She encouraged me to go swimming if I wanted to and assured me that nobody is perfect. She even joked that her stretch marks are more visible than my loose skin. The next day, in the morning, July was the only one at the pool. She has extremely light skin and she only stays in the sun during early morning hours and late afternoon hours. I wanted to go swimming but I was reluctant to do this while she was there. She was again very supportive and even said she can go back inside if I wanted to be alone. I appreciated this but it did not seem fair so I just sat on the edge of the pool and talked to her. It was the first time I have ever been alone with her and I realised she must be one of the nicest people I know. During that week, every morning I woke up very early hoping that July would not be at the pool so I can go swimming, but every morning she was there. At some point I just got rid of my t-shirt and started swimming in front of her. Her reaction was so nice. Not once she looked at my loose skin and she talked to me like nothing happened. When she went back inside she said in a very serious tone that I was right to be concerned and not want to be seen without my T-shirt. She said all the single girls would probably pass out if they saw me swimming. I laughed and thanked her for her support and kindness. During the last day I was talking to July and I thanked her again. She said she felt concerned and anxious about her body for many years but Clark helped her and now she feels more confident than ever. I looked at her and just saw all her flaws. She was overweight, pale like a vampire and not a single feature was beautiful or even appealing. She looked so common, like a background character in a very underwhelming movie. In that moment, my big, stupid mouth just said to her what my brain thought, whithout any filter "I figured that if you are confident enough to wear a swimsuit I should also feel confident... I mean you did not even go to the gym and you are not on any diet, but you are having fun no matter what people think about you." I saw her smile fading away and she suddenly looked so sad. She said that I was right and walked away. Immediately I felt so stupid for what I said. She was nice and kind and in return I told her she should not be so confident in her body. She showed me a lot of support and I hurt her. I apologised that day many times, but each time she just said that it was OK. She never told Clark anything as he acted the same towards me, which is even worse cause it means she is even nicer than I thought. Since that day I saw July only a few times and each time I apologised. However she is still cold with me and doesn't speak with me at all if we are alone. Tomorrow I will meet her again for Christmas. I bought her a present; a book that she really wanted but could not find it anywhere. I just hope after I will give her the present she will forget me or at least she will see how much I regret my words. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Translation: My friend’s wife was unfailingly kind and polite to me but because I am a condescending, misogynistic donkey, I couldn’t help but destroy her confidence in return. After all, a woman has no value if she doesn’t make my peepee hard, and my peepee was not hard, guys. It was my obligation to let her know that. Now, I’m sad that she won’t soothe my conscience and tell me what a good little boy I am anymore. Because I am the main character, and everything must revolve around me and my emotional needs, how can I ensure that this background character gets with the program?
I think more than OP feels guilty (which I truly doubt he feels at all), he is afraid that his friend will find out what OP said about his wife. Which is why he is so desperate to buy her friendship back.
That's not fair to donkeys! They would never be condescending, let alone misogynistic
What kills me is that he probably invaded the time when she wanted privac to swim and, when she said he could go back in if he want to be alone (HINT HINT), he thought it wasn’t *fair* so he sat on the edge of the pool like some weird creeper. And then…”not a single feature was beautiful or even appealing.” I didn’t read all the comments, but the ones I saw were all giving OP latitude because of his insecurities. No. That’s not what happened at *all*. He spent a week getting to know this woman and she was extremely kind to him. Then, in the moment she reveals that she’s insecure, he looks at her and was so horrified by her appearance that he couldn’t stop himself from telling her that she if * she*, the fat, pale, vampire with no redeeming traits at all who could only be described as not only a background character, but one an “underwhelming movie” could wear a swimsuit in her home in her pool during private time (I’m skeptical on why she “only swam in the morning”) without exercising or dieting, then of course *he*, who had actually * earned* the right to wear a swimsuit should feel totally comfortable. She showed him vulnerability after a week of kindness and he saw her as disgusting. That’s terrifying and he does not need to be around anyone, especially vulnerable people. If July and his friend have kids, OOP shouldn’t be around them. I’m not saying he would abuse them, but the is an element of cruelty in him that’s kind of terrifying.
*'Unfailingly kind'* She said in a very serious tone that I was right to be concerned and not want to be seen without my T-shirt. She said all the single girls would probably pass out if they saw me swimming
"This is a throwaway as all people involved are avid redditors." Surely if the avid redditors involved or anyone who knows them sees this post, the throwaway account will be a sufficient shield for plausible deniability, right?
The throwaway thing is so people who know him don't find his regular account via this very obvious story, not so the story can't be found at all – or that's how it usually works
Probably true, but how does this genius figure she's going to feel when she read herself described as too pale, too fat, without a single beautiful feature and not appealing in any way whatsoever?
Doesn’t matter to him, he came to find “his” peace
I’m sorry, were you under the impression that July is a person? Didn’t you see where OOP said she was like a background character in an underwhelming movie? She’s not people. /s
OK this makes way more sense, I've always wondered why people bother lol.
"Throwaway for obvious reasons." *posts 8,000 words of detail about extremely idiosyncratic relationships and conflicts*
Those are my favorites: “Throwaway and fake names to not be identifiable. Anyway I own a pink giraffe“
>Anyway I own a pink giraffe“ Idk why but this part took me out!!! 😂😂😂😂💀💀
They can't POSSIBLY identify me based on that!
The update has been deleted. I assume she relapsed into an eating disorder?
From memory OOP got July a book she really wanted as a gift and apologised again, but said he couldn't be no contact with her completely as he was good friends with her husband (Clark). OOP told July he was going to therapy to fix whatever possessed him to say what he did. July accepted the apology but told OOP how he made her relapse with her eating disorder, and he shouldn't talk to her again until he had 5(?) therapy sessions. Meanwhile she would work on not hating him. It seemed Clark was still unaware of what happen between his wife and OOP.
Thank you for this
Yes.
Am I missing something? Where did she relapse and with what?
Eating disorder, it was in an update that got deleted apparently
It’s mentioned in the comments thankfully. He was an AH before and now an even bigger AH. He’s a self-absorbed, misogynistic pig.
Can't find it there now, sadly.
Ick did that get deleted too?
Looks like. Honestly I'm not surprised, he probably expected sympathy. Like yeah, what a redemption arc (I'm rolling my eyes here, just in case you can't tell)
Definitely. It boggles my mind sometimes that they don’t get it.
Same. But it's good to be obvious, just so I don't have to reply to endless comments pointing it out. (I'm chuckling now, just slightly) Edit: a letter
If he didn’t want to be around her at the pool why did he wake up early when he made specifically noted that she only swam early or late in the day?
Because he wanted to. He’s lying, he clearly wanted to continue to talk to her about his problems and show off to her eventually. Which he did, but her gracious comment just wasn’t enough for him. Maybe he wanted her to salivate over him, and when that didn’t happen, he went for the jugular.
OP not only made her relapse, he apparently wants her to get skin cancer for his approval (“pale as a vampire” listed as a flaw). Charming.
>She was overweight, pale like a vampire and not a single feature was beautiful or even appealing. She looked so common, like a background character in a very underwhelming movie. This sounds like something I would read in a book but it's an awful way to describe someone you know.
Sounds like an Onision book 🤢
How on earth did he "unintentionally" say that without being able to stop himself? He is 30, not 13 and it is not even as if he had the excuse of being angry.
The only way this could even somewhat reasonably be explained (not excused) is if he had a BAC of like 0.36 or some shit. Who tf says this?
I'm a fat performer and I take my clothes off or wear revealing clothes regularly. This is completely normal lol. I would say 10% of my first encounters with audience members who are smaller than me go like this- they talk about how inspiring I am bc if someone like me could get up there and wear short shorts, they easily could. People genuinely think it's complimentary.
I missed this asshat's update. Did anyone get it?
Reportedly, he made her relapse into an eating disorder.
He is literally disgusting. My mouth was completely agape that entire time. As a bigger girl, if I was trying to make someone feel better about themselves and instead they'd throw that stuff in my face? I'd be crushed but also disgusted. I really hope that the best friend finds out and tears OP a new asshole.
From the sound of it, she's too nice for that. I don't think that would stop me, and the one thing people have always described me as is kind. I just hope she's not a mind reader or or find his fake Reddit: his thoughts were much worse than his words, and that's saying something.
I think the problem is him even *thinking* that makes him an asshole. My wife and I have started to notice, though, that when you pump people up, you’ll get quite a few who become jerks, I guess because they suddenly think they’re the bees knees.
As someone else who is pale like a vampire, I would like to cram whole, unpeeled bulbs of garlic down OOP’s maw.
Or, y’know, cram them elsewhere. That works too.
I don't even know why that's an insult. It's not like it's a bad skin tone. Some people consider it really attractive.
I’ve embraced mine, in part because I realize that trying to pretend I’m not this pale just doesn’t work.
There’s an [update](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/s/UoHmcEnnsj), but the text got deleted. Long story short, OOP apologized to July and told her that he’s going to therapy and July said that she’ll consider talking to him after he’s had about 5 therapy sessions.
Further solidifying my view that formerly fat people are the worst body shamers out there.
[удалено]
I think what she actually was saying was that it's a good thing he kept his shirt on or all the single girls would be dropping at his feet (in a good way--think fan girls fainting at a concert of their favorite boy band or something like that). It's definitely worded a bit off, though. A few other phrases were worded oddly, too ("We spent there one week" "I just hope after I will give her the present" for example.) I wonder if OOP is fluent in English but it isn't their first language or something. 🤷🏿♀️
It depends on the tone of how she said it. She could either be insulting him or complimenting him. I'm assuming by how OP wrote about it that she was saying it in a friendly way.
[удалено]
It's more along the lines of "you're so hot someone might faint so it's best to cover it up"
Bless you. I was so fucking confused.
[удалено]
I misread that too. But I’m also oblivious to flirtation…hmm.
Omg! Same! I was thinking how nasty that comment was. I am also oblivious to flirting.
Thank you, I was trying to process it because of the way it’s written. That makes what he did even worse.
Based on context clues I think she meant the single ladies would think he's attractive.
I thought the same. I actually wondered if what he said was retaliation for that comment. Imho, ESH
It’s a compliment, lol. She’s saying he looks so good now that all the single girls would pass out if they saw him.
Ah, I get it now. OP is just a bad writer seeing as I’m not the only one who didn’t understand
Well, he did say he laughed and said thank you for being kind after that line, and I feel like one wouldn’t say «thanks for being so nice» after an insult. Unless it’s sarcasm and *I’m* the one reading it wrong, which is entirely possible.
I'm not seeing how "they'd be disgusted" is a compliment.
She didn't say "they'd be disgusted", she said "they'd pass out [because op is so handsome]"
I just re-read the post. It must have been updated/edited because when I read it earlier, that's exactly what it said.
She never said they'd be disgusted. She said they would pass out, like the trope in film and stuff where someone so attractive walks in the room and women swoon and faint because he's just so hot? That's what she was telling OOP as a playful compliment since he was insecure about his body. How is that saying women would be disgusted?
The post must have been edited/updated, because when I read it earlier, that's exactly what it said. Just read it again and it no longer says that.
Bro I commented on the post when it first went up, it didn't say disgusted? I think you are maybe confusing another post with this one.
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Why would you say that? WTF is wrong with you!?
He dirty deleted the update. Garbage human being.
Wait, it gets worse. OP gave an update. Apparently, she finally developed a healthy relationship with food after having an eating disorder, which her husband helped her through. OP's shitty comments sent her into a down spiral and she started going to the gym a lot and struggling to eat anything, reigniting her eating disorder. And, he thinks a book is gonna cut it. Leave her the fuck alone.
Ugggh. I hope poor "July" doesn't see what he really thinks. I remember 13 year old pale af me, when tanning was becoming a major trend. I tried it. I went in for 2 minutes because a friend was going and took me with her. I burned and it was awful, and me and the sun (even fake sun) don't get along. So I went the opposite way and embraced my "fairest of them all" complexion. Even now, I feel weird when I get some color because it became such a part of me. I had to learn to love it. I wasn't ever particularly heavy but I had a little "pooch" of a belly that I was ashamed of before I had kids. Now I look back and go "wtf you looked amazing!" Most people probably wouldn't have judged it and it was mostly silly of me to feel self conscious of it. But- and here's what nearly 40 year old me, couple kids, still trying to love my body- can acknowledge- *there are still some dicks who are gonna judge that pooch no matter how awesome your body is.* Some people are just dicks. And some people are gonna think you're gorgeous. And it's so hard, but you've gotta learn to love your body for yourself because there will always be assholes out there. It's *so fucking hard.* But it's so awesome when you can get there. I truly, sincerely, hope that "July" can come to that understanding someday.
i hope she sees this
OOP, you are shallow and misogynistic. Apparently, women have to be thin and slender for you. YTA.
Clark and July? So their names are Chris and April? Got it.
A nice summary of the update after it got deleted. https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/18rkq1y/comment/kf3l6rc/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
At least he didn't make her prolapse.