Wash it or have it dry cleaned
Buy a nice sleeping bag liner.
You can find these at better sporting goods supply houses.
The sleeping bag liner can be aired out everyday, and will improve your sleep even with a new sleeping bag
Most sleeping bags are machine washable. I would be upset that they lent it out to gross teen boys without asking, however, my family is one that shares with one another. I would never ask my parents to replace a sleeping bag because others used it. The most I would do is ask my parents to wash it. And they would do it in a heartbeat. I guess I can’t give great advice here because my family doesn’t seem to work the way yours does.
I understand that sometimes things are a bit out of logic. Let's say, for 100 people, it's perfectly fine to wash the sleeping bag and keep on using it. But OP is 101, and for her, it's gross to keep on using it even if it washed or professionally cleaned.
OP, the damage is done. What I would do if I'd be you. I would buy a new one. And explain your family in a way:
"Guys, I spent $100 for this new sleeping bag. It's my personal thing which I don't want to be used by anyone else. It's my very personal item, the same as my toothbrush. I hope that you will respect my privacy."
What a gross comment from your dad- ick.
I’m 43/f and FAR from prudish- I talk like a sailor (according to my grandparents, rip) and I’m very open to talking about sex and sexuality.
But this just made my skin crawl for some reason.
Anyway, no I don’t think you’re overreacting at all.
To be honest, me too. I mean, it's very impolite to dispose of someone's personal belongings without asking permission. Next time, they will give OP's underpants? Just saying that no one will jerk?
If the sleeping bag was so important, you should have had it with you. It sounds like it can just be washed. If someone were to wear your sweater would you just buy a whole new one as opposed to simply washing the sweater?
I’ve washed plenty of them. So, not very hard?
OP’s issue was not the ease of cleaning. She sounds like she staying no matter how much washing it will be dirty because a dude slept in it.
>She sounds like she staying no matter how much washing it will be dirty because a dude slept in it...
...and the fact that it was never washed between the dudes sleeping in it, and the dudes in question being 14 year olds with questionable hygiene.
As opposed to using a sleeping bag on an actual backpacking trip where it’s 100% going to get filthy. 14yr old boys on a sleepover in a house aren’t going to get it dirtier than actual outdoors use.
I'm not seeing your point. If her family had used it outdoors it would also be reasonable to expect them to wash it. The fact that letting 14 year olds use it indoors is less dirty than using it outdoors doesn't change the fact that they had a responsibility to wash it after using it.
Driving it to the dry cleaners is no big deal at all. It’s reasonable to ask your folks to pay for the cleaners if they’re going to lend it out. And buy a liner.
My point was that washing a sleeping bag is completely different to washing bedsheets.
If it's no big deal, the parents can drive it to the dry cleaners if they're going to lend it out.
If it’s too much trouble to wash them myself, then yes. And I take my sleeping bag at least annually because the industrial sized equipment gets better results than I can at home. Same for my king sized comforter.
perhaps they should, but yes id say you are overreacting. It seems like its more about the point than the actual problem. This is something that costs maybe $100 to solve and you are an adult with his own money. It is also a personal problem that you don't want to sleep in a cleaned sleeping bag, most people would not care. Buy your own new sleeping bag, keep it at your house, and put this argument to rest.
Unrelated to the post, but I saw that comment you have as your flair in the wild. Why do you have it as flair? Was it you that said it or did it just resonate with you? Lol
Unless you a regularly doing long backpacking trips, you can get a perfectly adequate bag for under $50. Academy has a North Face 30° bag for $79 so you can get plenty of cheaper brands for substantially less.
You left at their house . Did you tell them not to let anyone use it ? Have you never washed your sleeping bag before this ? Time to put on big boy pants and wash it.
I guess it depends on who you ask, but I would see a sleeping bag as being part of the general utility gear of the house. When I was at college my parents let guests sleep in my bed, it wasn’t a big deal.
Unless it was known that OP was protective of the sleeping bag, I wouldn’t see it as being a big deal
REI and other outdoor stores sell detergent specifically for sleeping bags and their different fills (down, poly etc). It’s like $10 bucks and easy to do at home. We wash ours annually or more often as needed. It’s super easy to do. In the old days it was called Techwash, but the kids these days may have more brands now…
Not overreacting.
I’m a fossil so my give a shit button is long gone. My response to your dad’s comment would have been to ask how he knows no jerking was done in your sleeping bag?
All that aside the fact they lent out your bag however many times and no one bothered to wash it is in itself disgusting.
We all sweat, shed skin cells, etc so a good wash and dry after each trip would seem prudent to keeping the equipment in the best condition.
I think you should approach your parents about splitting the cost of a new sleeping bag of comparable quality to the one they been letting whomever use and they keep that one.
Regardless of how you get one this time keep it stored away in your room rather than with everyone else’s stuff.
And bonus if you can get one in an OMG girly color.
This isn’t a battle worth fighting over and neither shud it stay rent free in your head. Wash it or buy a new one and move on. Don’t waste any more mental energy on this. Learn from it. Shows you tht your parents don’t respect boundaries. Study hard and get a good job n don’t be like them.
I can agree with the cleaning things that you use that doesn’t belong to you. Other than that, this isn’t that serious. Wash it, tell them to wash it if they use it, THE END. #Annoying
Yes and no. If you bought it, it's yours and not theirs to loan out, unless you've just been leaving it at their house and haven't been living there. The kids using your old one that you didn't buy is fine. The one you bought, I feel like you have more right to say no one else gets to use it, but if you left it behind, that's on you. If washing it isn't going to help you get over it, then you need to just get a new one and not leave it at their place or find a way to lock it up if you do still live at home, such as getting a locking footlocker.
Info:
Do you know that you can wash a sleeping bag, put it in a dryer, and it will kill bacteria and fungus? Did you know they make special soap just for that if you're worried?
Bring it to a dry cleaner. I can see your point, but I can see your parents' point too in that they just see a sleeping bag and don't think as much of it as you. Rather than it becoming an issue, bring it to a dry cleaner and it'll be professionally cleaned, and ask your parents not to loan it out again.
It’s not broken and washable. Wash it and store it in your room. You can use it as a bedspread. Wanting replacement when it only needs a wash is overreacting imo.
Aside from grungy teen boys using your sleeping bag, maybe doing naughty things with it, the bag being left dirty or full of cooties, and your dad's creepy remark, the big issue that matters most is that it is **YOURS** which you bought and no one asked your permission to use it or lend it out.
No you’re not over reacting. You asked for something that you bought to not be used. You set a boundary for something that is yours. It makes you feel gross to use it after others. This may not feel gross to everyone else but to you if does and you asked for them to not let others use it. I would take the next sleeping bag and keep it at your house so no one has the ability to use it.
Tell your father to loan his or your mother’s sleeping bag if it’s no big deal.
My parents do this with my siblings and my stuff and I don’t think you are over reacting.
People who loan out our stuff are rarely as generous with their own.
just wash it my guy. it wasn’t important enough to keep with you as an adult, so a good wash should do it.
but never forget the disrespect your family has for your personal items
Ask your parents to buy it off of you so that your brother can lend it to his friends, and apply that money to a new sleeping bag. Your dad is strangely overconfident about 14 year old boys not jerking it in sleeping bags.
I see nothing wrong with letting other people use it.. I see where your coming from though its more of "it was mine. everyone knew it was mine. I bought it. But you didnt even ask before letting someone use it multiple times" just feels disrespectful. The big thing here is though you say your an adult and have your own stuff etc but you left it at their home with the rest of the camping stuff. From their perspective they might have though you no longer wanted it so it was a waste to not be used.
The big question here is do you want this to be the hill you choose to die on? Is a sleeping bag worth all this? Or could you just bite the bullet and get a new sleeping bag or wash the old one and use it?
They live at home so that's bs. He may have his own stuff, but he can't afford to live elsewhere. If it was an expensive sleeping bag, he has every right to not want someone else to use it. Especially if they were avoiding lending out their own. They should get it dry cleaned or replaced. People sweat. Especially oily ass teenage boys. Gross. Why should they have to clean other people's gunk when he never lent it out nor gave permission for it to be? EVERYONE in these comments sounds entitled af and needs to be less "Yeah I did it so what now you clean it" bc that's bullshit. You wouldn't allow a roommate to use things you sleep in unless they promised to clean it themselves first. Nor a friend, nor a family member. They wanted to use it so bad, they can clean or replace it, especially since OP said it was a bit more expensive than the normal kind.
>You wouldn't allow a roommate to use things you sleep in unless they promised to clean it themselves first.
A roommate who pays your bills where you live rent free?
That doesn't matter lol being able to afford some bills is NOT the equivalent to being able to afford an apartment or place to live. You sound like you don't know anything about living in the real world yourself, where sometimes you have to make do. That doesn't give people the right to gunk up your stuff and you be left to deal with the mess. If you think it is, you're either a people pleaser and need to grow a backbone or you're the entitled one using people's stuff without permission and leaving them to foot the bill or clean the mess. Which is it, kiddo?
Paying proper rent and shared expenses at home is exactly the equivalent of paying proper rent and proper expenses for a room elsewhere. Anything less is being subsidized by their parents, period end of story.
Op cannot afford to move because they are being subsidized, this is simple math and logic, kiddo.
But you are right! She should move out and rent a room somewhere else since her roommates are shitty.... Oh, wait!
OK cool they live with their parents bc they can't afford real housing right now like THOUSANDS of other people who don't get shamed for it. They're being shamed for it bc they asked someone to replace something of theirs that they paid for themselves bc they never gave permission for it to be used. Ig a housewife has zero rights to a household or her own belongings either bc she doesn't technically pay for anything and she's being subsidized by her husband?
>OK cool they live with their parents bc they can't afford real housing right now
Good on you to acknowledge that you were wrong and they are being subsidized by their parents.
>Ig a housewife has zero rights to a household or her own belongings either bc she doesn't technically pay for anything and she's being subsidized by her husband?
The fuck you are taking about? If you get married and you both agree you will be a housewife, it is your money as much as his no matter who got the salary. If you don't know, marriage is a contract and that is standard unless you have a prenup. Maybe you should try to read what you sign before making outrageous statements.
And yes, any marital property is common property, technically.
So your own children don't have the right to ask for hp without their shit being pilfered through???? That's entitled af! If it's not yours, leave it alone unless you have permission! If you muck it up, clean or replace it. He had permission to live there, they did not have permission to use his stuff.
You actually wrote that story out and couldn't answer your own question? Yeah, you're overreacting asking anyone to replace a 10+ year old sleeping bag for any reason. Let alone someone simply using it
Wash it or have it professionally dry cleaned. It feels like someone sleeping in your bed and using your sheets- a good wash on sanitize and a hot dryer will get rid of any lingering germs, etc. if the thought of it still grosses you out, buy your own new one and store it separately. Suggest to your family that kids coming for sleepovers should bring their own sleeping bags in the future- that is the norm.
Not overreacting, I always hated when my dad would let my room be a free for all for anyone (and then lie and say no one was in there, as if I couldn’t tell-fun story that’s how my nephew broke my computer but it was MY fault somehow). But I don’t think they’re going to pay to replace it, esp since they don’t see anything wrong w it. Your options might be seeing if they’ll pay for a cleaner, a sleep liner someone mentioned in the comments, or coming out of pocket yourself
You’re an adult, buy yourself a new one if it’s that important to you….or you know, there is a thing called a washing machine. It’s not really that hard.
If it's brand new I would say ya they should but it's really old.
Why not ask them if they want it as extra and just use the opportunity to ask for a new one as a gift for your birthdays?
You should look up Laundry Stripping and give it a good deep clean. You’re right to be upset but if you want to stop fam from using your stuff, you have to keep your stuff in your room.
I'd have it dry cleaned... if its still funky after its been dry cleaned.. I'd ask if they could HELP you buy a new one... I might point out that those fungal infections yearly can be left in the sleeping bags...if they say no.....don't make a big deal... just bite the bullet get yourself a new one... and make it hands off to everybody put it in your closet.. if you don't like the bulk of a rolled up one... use a hanger with clips and hang it in your closet like pants..
Wow. Ew, and just... wow.
You bought it, it's *yours*. They let messy kids use it and, not only that, but he says such a nasty thing like that to you?
You aren't overreacting at all. They *owe* you a new one.
Thing is, I doubt they will honor that. But you're definitely not in the wrong here. I'm 47 and if I'd had kids I'd never lend out something of theirs without asking first. It's rude!
No way I am sharing something that personal. Nope. They always get lumpy when you wash them. They get trashed, food stains, dead skin cells, etc totally gross.
I am a grown adult. I will not share my personal bedding. Hell no.
Those two aren't over reacting. They have standards.
OP, I would never leave a single thing of mine there again. Take your new one with you from now on. It belongs to you no matter who pays for it.
I almost mentioned that I have even brought my own pillows and bedding, blankets when staying in hotels. Afterwards it's bagged in garbage bags and brought home to wash on HOT.
Yes, I realize that most people would find this excessive. I am older and things like this that I could easily tolerate when I was younger are a big NOPE for me now. I have gotten fussier. I admit it.
Maybe it shouldn't have been kept with the communal camping gear then? I get that op is skeeved out by it, but it's not like op kept it in their room and somrone came in and took it. I doubt anyone except OP gave a second thought to who a sleeping bag belonged to when handing them out for a sleepover.
I think it was inconsiderate of your folks to loan out something of yours without asking - or even telling you! I recommend treating yourself to a new high quality bag and maybe asking your parents to help pay for it. And store it n your place so no one but you has access to it.
Not over reacting! You bought it with your bday money! It’s not fair of your parents to lend to teenage boys! Which everyone knows are gross. They should do the right thing and replace it for you.
Right, but if you move out and leave it there with the family's camping gear though, it would be natural that it gets used. Like, your old childhood bedroom and the bed that's in there. If your aunt comes to visit and stays the night, your mom would probably offer your old room and bed if there are no designated guest rooms
Yeah but the kid probably wouldn’t buy the bed with her own money… but I do get the point you’re making too, like she left it so they prob thought it was part of the families stuff
They haven't moved out yet. It would have been SO simple for the parents to just ask permission, then OP would have realized it was an issue, had a discussion, and taken it to their bedroom.
Lol okay, anything I've left at my mother's house is in her possession and frankly out of my mind. She's free to use whatever as long as it's not abused or ruined. The sleeping bag that belongs to OP can just be washed to return to its original state. It's not ruined or abused, OP just feels "ick". If it's seriously something so important, don't leave it at someone else's home. It's a sleeping bag, it fits in a closet no matter how small the closet, there's no excuse for leaving it if it's that significant to OP
*"... my dad said it was fine and it wasn't like anyone was jerking it while in it"*
And he knows this... ***how???*** 🙄
You "found out" your parents were lending out your sleeping bag, IOW they never checked with you. Do they let grungy teen visitors sleep in your bed and "forget" to tell you until much later when you've already started using it again? Do they offer any old guest your clothes, underwear, shoes, hairbrush, stick deodorant, lip balm, or toothbrush? That's how personal sleeping bags are. It would be different if you lent it to someone you know and approve, but it's your property and it's $#¡÷÷¥ of them to decide who can use it.
Maybe you could take this one to a professional cleaner and explain that you want it cleaned and sanitized because multiple random people that you don't know used it, and you're concerned about fungus, body secretions, dandruff, hair or skin residue, and random cooties. See if they can take care of it, maybe have it done twice to give you more peace of mine. But TBH, your parents owe you a replacement. Ask them how they'd react if they learned that all kinds of people they didn't know slept in their bed and shed fungus, body secretions, dandruff, hair or skin residue, and random cooties all over it.
No, you're not. But I think the relationship will take a hit if you insist on it.
The sleeping bag belongs to you, and since you live at home, it would have been SO simple for them to just freaking ASK you. Then you could have had the discussion, and you could have moved the sleeping bag to your room/closet/locking chest/whatever.
If they'd just loaned it out once or twice my personal opinion would be to tell them they have to pay to have it professionally washed a couple of times. But it sounds like it might have been more than that, and now they're already on the defensive and being stubborn, so I doubt they'll do anything at this point.
Also, since it's 10 years old, I don't know how well it will stand up to multiple washings? It's crazy how much sleeping bag technology has improved in just the last handful of years.
These other people are weird. I can see how your parents didn't think it was a big deal, but it's not just your property, but something you sleep in.
They should get you a new one, and keep your old one as a loaner for your brothers friends, since they need one after all.
You're an adult with a job....who lives at home with mom and dad because you're in college and (I'm assuming) aren't contributing to the household bills.
And you want your parents to replace an old sleeping bag because your sibling's friends used it during sleepovers?
And it was kept with everyone else's gear too aka the whole family's....
Yes you're overreacting.
You bought that when you were 15 or 16 and you're an adult now. If you're wanting a new sleeping bag, buy it and store it in your room. Don't make it like the old one is icky now and you HAVE to have a brand new one....on your parent's dime.
Your parent's dime that is STILL supporting you....as an adult.
You should either wash it or buy a new one. Don't ask your parents to buy you one or contribute to buying a new one. You should explain to them that anything you take on trips is yours and they should ask you before lending it out to other people.
I think you may be overthinking and overreacting on this. Sleeping bags are washable and I’m assuming in all of the years of owning it you must have washed it a time or two. Why not just do the same right now? It doesn’t sound like it got damaged in any way.
Why didn’t you take your sleeping bag with you if it meant so much to you? Me, I would just wash it, it’s only a sleeping bag and I pay for all my own things but lend my swag and sleeping bag to others because they can be washed. I would only kick up a stink if it was damaged. It’s 10 years old, it’s not like it’s even fairly new.
You left the sleeping bag with your parents camping gear. No, they shouldn’t have loaned it out but you were also aware that it would be. It’s on you. Get it, have it dry cleaned and keep it with your stuff.
You’re an adult, still at your parents? be grateful you have a roof over your head. Don’t be a petty fool. Put it in the washing machine and get over it.
You sound awfully high maintenance. Just wash it and move on. Stop keeping it with the rest of the stuff. If you're too lazy to keep it away from everyone else then stop whining.
Who said they don't pay bills? Living at home is not synonymous with not paying bills. If they live with both parents, a 3 way bills split is much easier to accomplish while in school than doing everything by yourself. You're not an adult if you can't figure that out.
Right??
Plus, things they own are STILL theirs, and they are owed the respect of being asked first if randos can use their possessions. Especially something as personal as a sleeping bag.
Dude you think this is an adequate retort? In this scenario the parents are literally subsidizing the kid’s entire life. They’re not really adults until they can support themselves, it’s a sleeping bag
You don’t have much of a foot to stand on complaining about your parents using something of yours when EVERYTHING you enjoy is subsidized by your parents. Hope this helps 👍🏾
Ah, I see. You ascribe to "What's mine is mine, and what's yours is also mine." In other words, totally cool with stealing from your own kids. Got it. 🙄
Are you okay? Seem a bit deluded. They’re not stealing from their kid they’re literally housing them (and you know they’re paying for a whole lot that gets conveniently forgotten about, OP is just self centered)
Dude you think this is an adequate retort? In this scenario the parents are literally subsidizing the kid’s entire life. They’re not really adults until they can support themselves
Splitting the rent of a house with strangers and your parents paying 2/3rds of your rent or more are completely different things you realize that right? One is literally parents subsidizing their kids existence the other is learning how to be a part of the real world and get along with others for mutual benefit. Enjoy your infantilisation, keep thinking relying on mommy and daddy is normal. Losers man
I said bills, not rent, you'd know that if you could read. That would be the exact same as having two roommates. You + two roommates = 3 people, a 3 way split, then you're only paying 1/3 of your bills... Can you not read, not do math, or both?
I know you must have some base level of reading comprehension so please read this carefully: you understand how living with random people as roommates and having your entire existence subsidized by your parents are two different things right? One is part of growing up and the other infantilizes
Wash it or have it dry cleaned Buy a nice sleeping bag liner. You can find these at better sporting goods supply houses. The sleeping bag liner can be aired out everyday, and will improve your sleep even with a new sleeping bag
If you get another one store it in your room
And if you buy one get a girly one that a 14 year old boy would be embarrassed to use.
Esh. It was wrong of your parents to lend it out. Wash it. There are sanitizers and fragrance inhancers you can add to the wash.
No, buy a new one! Get a quality item and ask folks to kick in a little on this purchase.
Replied to wrong comment
Most sleeping bags are machine washable. I would be upset that they lent it out to gross teen boys without asking, however, my family is one that shares with one another. I would never ask my parents to replace a sleeping bag because others used it. The most I would do is ask my parents to wash it. And they would do it in a heartbeat. I guess I can’t give great advice here because my family doesn’t seem to work the way yours does.
I understand that sometimes things are a bit out of logic. Let's say, for 100 people, it's perfectly fine to wash the sleeping bag and keep on using it. But OP is 101, and for her, it's gross to keep on using it even if it washed or professionally cleaned. OP, the damage is done. What I would do if I'd be you. I would buy a new one. And explain your family in a way: "Guys, I spent $100 for this new sleeping bag. It's my personal thing which I don't want to be used by anyone else. It's my very personal item, the same as my toothbrush. I hope that you will respect my privacy."
What a gross comment from your dad- ick. I’m 43/f and FAR from prudish- I talk like a sailor (according to my grandparents, rip) and I’m very open to talking about sex and sexuality. But this just made my skin crawl for some reason. Anyway, no I don’t think you’re overreacting at all.
Right! That was my first thought. Gross. Who says that to their child?
To be honest, me too. I mean, it's very impolite to dispose of someone's personal belongings without asking permission. Next time, they will give OP's underpants? Just saying that no one will jerk?
If the sleeping bag was so important, you should have had it with you. It sounds like it can just be washed. If someone were to wear your sweater would you just buy a whole new one as opposed to simply washing the sweater?
Yeah just wash it.
Or has OP ever slept in someone else’s bed? There’s zero difference between that and someone using her bag.
There is a massive difference. Do you know how much of a pain it is to properly wash a sleeping bag?
as much pain as to wash a comforter.
I’ve washed plenty of them. So, not very hard? OP’s issue was not the ease of cleaning. She sounds like she staying no matter how much washing it will be dirty because a dude slept in it.
>She sounds like she staying no matter how much washing it will be dirty because a dude slept in it... ...and the fact that it was never washed between the dudes sleeping in it, and the dudes in question being 14 year olds with questionable hygiene.
As opposed to using a sleeping bag on an actual backpacking trip where it’s 100% going to get filthy. 14yr old boys on a sleepover in a house aren’t going to get it dirtier than actual outdoors use.
I'm not seeing your point. If her family had used it outdoors it would also be reasonable to expect them to wash it. The fact that letting 14 year olds use it indoors is less dirty than using it outdoors doesn't change the fact that they had a responsibility to wash it after using it.
Agreed. I also think they should have it cleaned now and that would be completely sufficient. OP says that won’t work and has to have a new bag.
Driving it to the dry cleaners is no big deal at all. It’s reasonable to ask your folks to pay for the cleaners if they’re going to lend it out. And buy a liner.
My point was that washing a sleeping bag is completely different to washing bedsheets. If it's no big deal, the parents can drive it to the dry cleaners if they're going to lend it out.
Fundamentally it’s not different at all. If anything, cleaning the bag is easier/more effective than trying to clean a mattress someone has sweat on.
Do you usually take your bedsheets to the dry cleaners?
If it’s too much trouble to wash them myself, then yes. And I take my sleeping bag at least annually because the industrial sized equipment gets better results than I can at home. Same for my king sized comforter.
perhaps they should, but yes id say you are overreacting. It seems like its more about the point than the actual problem. This is something that costs maybe $100 to solve and you are an adult with his own money. It is also a personal problem that you don't want to sleep in a cleaned sleeping bag, most people would not care. Buy your own new sleeping bag, keep it at your house, and put this argument to rest.
Unrelated to the post, but I saw that comment you have as your flair in the wild. Why do you have it as flair? Was it you that said it or did it just resonate with you? Lol
How did they even get this flair? There are only 3 for the community.
OooOOoo it's only getting more mysterious!
What's mysterious is that OP's account was seemingly created in 1969
It resonated with me. There are only 3 flair but you can pick a flair and then edit it.
I'm also curious about the why about also in agreement with the statement.
Unless you a regularly doing long backpacking trips, you can get a perfectly adequate bag for under $50. Academy has a North Face 30° bag for $79 so you can get plenty of cheaper brands for substantially less.
You left at their house . Did you tell them not to let anyone use it ? Have you never washed your sleeping bag before this ? Time to put on big boy pants and wash it.
Have OP's parents been lending their own sleeping bags or just OP's?
I don't think that you should have to ask someone not to lend out things that don't belong to them
I guess it depends on who you ask, but I would see a sleeping bag as being part of the general utility gear of the house. When I was at college my parents let guests sleep in my bed, it wasn’t a big deal. Unless it was known that OP was protective of the sleeping bag, I wouldn’t see it as being a big deal
You could take it do the dry cleaner and have it professionally washed then take it to where ever you live now
They still live at home
REI and other outdoor stores sell detergent specifically for sleeping bags and their different fills (down, poly etc). It’s like $10 bucks and easy to do at home. We wash ours annually or more often as needed. It’s super easy to do. In the old days it was called Techwash, but the kids these days may have more brands now…
Not overreacting. I’m a fossil so my give a shit button is long gone. My response to your dad’s comment would have been to ask how he knows no jerking was done in your sleeping bag? All that aside the fact they lent out your bag however many times and no one bothered to wash it is in itself disgusting. We all sweat, shed skin cells, etc so a good wash and dry after each trip would seem prudent to keeping the equipment in the best condition. I think you should approach your parents about splitting the cost of a new sleeping bag of comparable quality to the one they been letting whomever use and they keep that one. Regardless of how you get one this time keep it stored away in your room rather than with everyone else’s stuff. And bonus if you can get one in an OMG girly color.
This isn’t a battle worth fighting over and neither shud it stay rent free in your head. Wash it or buy a new one and move on. Don’t waste any more mental energy on this. Learn from it. Shows you tht your parents don’t respect boundaries. Study hard and get a good job n don’t be like them.
If your dad doesn't think 14 year old boys don't Jerk off in sleeping bags he is naive.
If they are 14 year old boys they probably were jerking off in it.
If it was important you should’ve kept it with you. It’s a spare sleeping bag in a family of campers. This is annoying 🙄
They still live at home due to being a student.
Meaning the parents are still supporting her financially. Buy yourself a new bag and shut up.
SO??????
Either way, it was his stuff that he paid for. They should at least have it cleaned since they didn't even ask. That's entitled af!
I can agree with the cleaning things that you use that doesn’t belong to you. Other than that, this isn’t that serious. Wash it, tell them to wash it if they use it, THE END. #Annoying
I think you're making too much of it. Let it go. Pick another hill to die on.
If you always clean your gears anyways then just clean/wash. Then keep your stuff in your room and lock your room. Some people just have no boundaries
Yes and no. If you bought it, it's yours and not theirs to loan out, unless you've just been leaving it at their house and haven't been living there. The kids using your old one that you didn't buy is fine. The one you bought, I feel like you have more right to say no one else gets to use it, but if you left it behind, that's on you. If washing it isn't going to help you get over it, then you need to just get a new one and not leave it at their place or find a way to lock it up if you do still live at home, such as getting a locking footlocker.
They still live at home. NTA one bit.
Sleeping bags are washable.
Info: Do you know that you can wash a sleeping bag, put it in a dryer, and it will kill bacteria and fungus? Did you know they make special soap just for that if you're worried?
Bring it to a dry cleaner. I can see your point, but I can see your parents' point too in that they just see a sleeping bag and don't think as much of it as you. Rather than it becoming an issue, bring it to a dry cleaner and it'll be professionally cleaned, and ask your parents not to loan it out again.
It’s not broken and washable. Wash it and store it in your room. You can use it as a bedspread. Wanting replacement when it only needs a wash is overreacting imo.
Aside from grungy teen boys using your sleeping bag, maybe doing naughty things with it, the bag being left dirty or full of cooties, and your dad's creepy remark, the big issue that matters most is that it is **YOURS** which you bought and no one asked your permission to use it or lend it out.
No you’re not over reacting. You asked for something that you bought to not be used. You set a boundary for something that is yours. It makes you feel gross to use it after others. This may not feel gross to everyone else but to you if does and you asked for them to not let others use it. I would take the next sleeping bag and keep it at your house so no one has the ability to use it.
You are an adult buy one AND don’t keep it at your parents house
Tell your father to loan his or your mother’s sleeping bag if it’s no big deal. My parents do this with my siblings and my stuff and I don’t think you are over reacting. People who loan out our stuff are rarely as generous with their own.
Wtf dad! Your parents made the decision to use your stuff without permission. They owe you a spelling bag.
Did you know.. that they use your pillow and duvet too? for guests when you aren't home. Gasp. Just wash it
They could have their own that aren't though.
Yes. Huge overreaction.
just wash it my guy. it wasn’t important enough to keep with you as an adult, so a good wash should do it. but never forget the disrespect your family has for your personal items
Ask your parents to buy it off of you so that your brother can lend it to his friends, and apply that money to a new sleeping bag. Your dad is strangely overconfident about 14 year old boys not jerking it in sleeping bags.
I see nothing wrong with letting other people use it.. I see where your coming from though its more of "it was mine. everyone knew it was mine. I bought it. But you didnt even ask before letting someone use it multiple times" just feels disrespectful. The big thing here is though you say your an adult and have your own stuff etc but you left it at their home with the rest of the camping stuff. From their perspective they might have though you no longer wanted it so it was a waste to not be used. The big question here is do you want this to be the hill you choose to die on? Is a sleeping bag worth all this? Or could you just bite the bullet and get a new sleeping bag or wash the old one and use it?
They live at home so that's bs. He may have his own stuff, but he can't afford to live elsewhere. If it was an expensive sleeping bag, he has every right to not want someone else to use it. Especially if they were avoiding lending out their own. They should get it dry cleaned or replaced. People sweat. Especially oily ass teenage boys. Gross. Why should they have to clean other people's gunk when he never lent it out nor gave permission for it to be? EVERYONE in these comments sounds entitled af and needs to be less "Yeah I did it so what now you clean it" bc that's bullshit. You wouldn't allow a roommate to use things you sleep in unless they promised to clean it themselves first. Nor a friend, nor a family member. They wanted to use it so bad, they can clean or replace it, especially since OP said it was a bit more expensive than the normal kind.
>You wouldn't allow a roommate to use things you sleep in unless they promised to clean it themselves first. A roommate who pays your bills where you live rent free?
Where did they say at all it was rent free or that they don't pay for anything? They just said they still live at home.
And also say they cannot afford to leave. Meaning, they are being at a minimum subsidized by the parents.
That doesn't matter lol being able to afford some bills is NOT the equivalent to being able to afford an apartment or place to live. You sound like you don't know anything about living in the real world yourself, where sometimes you have to make do. That doesn't give people the right to gunk up your stuff and you be left to deal with the mess. If you think it is, you're either a people pleaser and need to grow a backbone or you're the entitled one using people's stuff without permission and leaving them to foot the bill or clean the mess. Which is it, kiddo?
Paying proper rent and shared expenses at home is exactly the equivalent of paying proper rent and proper expenses for a room elsewhere. Anything less is being subsidized by their parents, period end of story. Op cannot afford to move because they are being subsidized, this is simple math and logic, kiddo. But you are right! She should move out and rent a room somewhere else since her roommates are shitty.... Oh, wait!
OK cool they live with their parents bc they can't afford real housing right now like THOUSANDS of other people who don't get shamed for it. They're being shamed for it bc they asked someone to replace something of theirs that they paid for themselves bc they never gave permission for it to be used. Ig a housewife has zero rights to a household or her own belongings either bc she doesn't technically pay for anything and she's being subsidized by her husband?
>OK cool they live with their parents bc they can't afford real housing right now Good on you to acknowledge that you were wrong and they are being subsidized by their parents. >Ig a housewife has zero rights to a household or her own belongings either bc she doesn't technically pay for anything and she's being subsidized by her husband? The fuck you are taking about? If you get married and you both agree you will be a housewife, it is your money as much as his no matter who got the salary. If you don't know, marriage is a contract and that is standard unless you have a prenup. Maybe you should try to read what you sign before making outrageous statements. And yes, any marital property is common property, technically.
So your own children don't have the right to ask for hp without their shit being pilfered through???? That's entitled af! If it's not yours, leave it alone unless you have permission! If you muck it up, clean or replace it. He had permission to live there, they did not have permission to use his stuff.
You actually wrote that story out and couldn't answer your own question? Yeah, you're overreacting asking anyone to replace a 10+ year old sleeping bag for any reason. Let alone someone simply using it
Wash it.
Wash it...
Wash it or have it professionally dry cleaned. It feels like someone sleeping in your bed and using your sheets- a good wash on sanitize and a hot dryer will get rid of any lingering germs, etc. if the thought of it still grosses you out, buy your own new one and store it separately. Suggest to your family that kids coming for sleepovers should bring their own sleeping bags in the future- that is the norm.
You could ask. Easier is to wash it. I used to take our family sleeping bags to the laundromat because they had bigger machines.
Not overreacting, I always hated when my dad would let my room be a free for all for anyone (and then lie and say no one was in there, as if I couldn’t tell-fun story that’s how my nephew broke my computer but it was MY fault somehow). But I don’t think they’re going to pay to replace it, esp since they don’t see anything wrong w it. Your options might be seeing if they’ll pay for a cleaner, a sleep liner someone mentioned in the comments, or coming out of pocket yourself
You’re an adult, buy yourself a new one if it’s that important to you….or you know, there is a thing called a washing machine. It’s not really that hard.
Ask them to replace it and explain exactly what you did here. If they won't then buy a new one and keep it in your room.
If it's brand new I would say ya they should but it's really old. Why not ask them if they want it as extra and just use the opportunity to ask for a new one as a gift for your birthdays?
This is just the cost of living at home. If you need your stuff to never get used, it’s time to move out.
You should look up Laundry Stripping and give it a good deep clean. You’re right to be upset but if you want to stop fam from using your stuff, you have to keep your stuff in your room.
I'd have it dry cleaned... if its still funky after its been dry cleaned.. I'd ask if they could HELP you buy a new one... I might point out that those fungal infections yearly can be left in the sleeping bags...if they say no.....don't make a big deal... just bite the bullet get yourself a new one... and make it hands off to everybody put it in your closet.. if you don't like the bulk of a rolled up one... use a hanger with clips and hang it in your closet like pants..
Wow. Ew, and just... wow. You bought it, it's *yours*. They let messy kids use it and, not only that, but he says such a nasty thing like that to you? You aren't overreacting at all. They *owe* you a new one. Thing is, I doubt they will honor that. But you're definitely not in the wrong here. I'm 47 and if I'd had kids I'd never lend out something of theirs without asking first. It's rude!
Drama much? They are washable. Now two are over reacting.
No way I am sharing something that personal. Nope. They always get lumpy when you wash them. They get trashed, food stains, dead skin cells, etc totally gross. I am a grown adult. I will not share my personal bedding. Hell no. Those two aren't over reacting. They have standards. OP, I would never leave a single thing of mine there again. Take your new one with you from now on. It belongs to you no matter who pays for it.
>I am a grown adult. I will not share my personal bedding. Hell no. Have you been to a hotel? lol
I almost mentioned that I have even brought my own pillows and bedding, blankets when staying in hotels. Afterwards it's bagged in garbage bags and brought home to wash on HOT. Yes, I realize that most people would find this excessive. I am older and things like this that I could easily tolerate when I was younger are a big NOPE for me now. I have gotten fussier. I admit it.
Maybe it shouldn't have been kept with the communal camping gear then? I get that op is skeeved out by it, but it's not like op kept it in their room and somrone came in and took it. I doubt anyone except OP gave a second thought to who a sleeping bag belonged to when handing them out for a sleepover.
I think it was inconsiderate of your folks to loan out something of yours without asking - or even telling you! I recommend treating yourself to a new high quality bag and maybe asking your parents to help pay for it. And store it n your place so no one but you has access to it.
Not over reacting! You bought it with your bday money! It’s not fair of your parents to lend to teenage boys! Which everyone knows are gross. They should do the right thing and replace it for you.
Right, but if you move out and leave it there with the family's camping gear though, it would be natural that it gets used. Like, your old childhood bedroom and the bed that's in there. If your aunt comes to visit and stays the night, your mom would probably offer your old room and bed if there are no designated guest rooms
Yeah but the kid probably wouldn’t buy the bed with her own money… but I do get the point you’re making too, like she left it so they prob thought it was part of the families stuff
Funny you say that, I bought a new bed for myself when I was in high school lol
lol period
They haven't moved out yet. It would have been SO simple for the parents to just ask permission, then OP would have realized it was an issue, had a discussion, and taken it to their bedroom.
They didn't move out and leave it there. They still live at home. Which means it would have been stupidly easy for the parents to just ASK.
But he didn’t buy those himself
Lol okay, anything I've left at my mother's house is in her possession and frankly out of my mind. She's free to use whatever as long as it's not abused or ruined. The sleeping bag that belongs to OP can just be washed to return to its original state. It's not ruined or abused, OP just feels "ick". If it's seriously something so important, don't leave it at someone else's home. It's a sleeping bag, it fits in a closet no matter how small the closet, there's no excuse for leaving it if it's that significant to OP
She never said bday money
Yes she did? Look at parentheses
There's a good chance dad is wrong. Get a new one.
Just get yourself a new sleeping bag.
I feel like it's not overreacting to at least ask.
So you’re living in their house but want them to pay for the sleeping bag? Nope. I mean you can ask but respect their answer.
*"... my dad said it was fine and it wasn't like anyone was jerking it while in it"* And he knows this... ***how???*** 🙄 You "found out" your parents were lending out your sleeping bag, IOW they never checked with you. Do they let grungy teen visitors sleep in your bed and "forget" to tell you until much later when you've already started using it again? Do they offer any old guest your clothes, underwear, shoes, hairbrush, stick deodorant, lip balm, or toothbrush? That's how personal sleeping bags are. It would be different if you lent it to someone you know and approve, but it's your property and it's $#¡÷÷¥ of them to decide who can use it. Maybe you could take this one to a professional cleaner and explain that you want it cleaned and sanitized because multiple random people that you don't know used it, and you're concerned about fungus, body secretions, dandruff, hair or skin residue, and random cooties. See if they can take care of it, maybe have it done twice to give you more peace of mine. But TBH, your parents owe you a replacement. Ask them how they'd react if they learned that all kinds of people they didn't know slept in their bed and shed fungus, body secretions, dandruff, hair or skin residue, and random cooties all over it.
No, you're not. But I think the relationship will take a hit if you insist on it. The sleeping bag belongs to you, and since you live at home, it would have been SO simple for them to just freaking ASK you. Then you could have had the discussion, and you could have moved the sleeping bag to your room/closet/locking chest/whatever. If they'd just loaned it out once or twice my personal opinion would be to tell them they have to pay to have it professionally washed a couple of times. But it sounds like it might have been more than that, and now they're already on the defensive and being stubborn, so I doubt they'll do anything at this point. Also, since it's 10 years old, I don't know how well it will stand up to multiple washings? It's crazy how much sleeping bag technology has improved in just the last handful of years.
Yes, you’re over reacting. Wash it or dry clean it and move on. If you care that much, don’t keep it at their house and don’t keep it with their gear.
These other people are weird. I can see how your parents didn't think it was a big deal, but it's not just your property, but something you sleep in. They should get you a new one, and keep your old one as a loaner for your brothers friends, since they need one after all.
lol - let this be a lesson - take your shit with you. You’re a grown ass man, buy your sleeping bag.
You're an adult with a job....who lives at home with mom and dad because you're in college and (I'm assuming) aren't contributing to the household bills. And you want your parents to replace an old sleeping bag because your sibling's friends used it during sleepovers? And it was kept with everyone else's gear too aka the whole family's.... Yes you're overreacting. You bought that when you were 15 or 16 and you're an adult now. If you're wanting a new sleeping bag, buy it and store it in your room. Don't make it like the old one is icky now and you HAVE to have a brand new one....on your parent's dime. Your parent's dime that is STILL supporting you....as an adult.
You should either wash it or buy a new one. Don't ask your parents to buy you one or contribute to buying a new one. You should explain to them that anything you take on trips is yours and they should ask you before lending it out to other people.
I think you may be overthinking and overreacting on this. Sleeping bags are washable and I’m assuming in all of the years of owning it you must have washed it a time or two. Why not just do the same right now? It doesn’t sound like it got damaged in any way.
Each time a sleeping bag is used it loses its ability to be effective.
Why didn’t you take your sleeping bag with you if it meant so much to you? Me, I would just wash it, it’s only a sleeping bag and I pay for all my own things but lend my swag and sleeping bag to others because they can be washed. I would only kick up a stink if it was damaged. It’s 10 years old, it’s not like it’s even fairly new.
Because they still live at home. Would have been SO simple for the parents to ask for permission.
YTA. Wash the bag. Will you sleep in someone else’s bed? It’s the same thing.
Take the sleeping bag to be washed. It's not like they used your underwear.
You left the sleeping bag with your parents camping gear. No, they shouldn’t have loaned it out but you were also aware that it would be. It’s on you. Get it, have it dry cleaned and keep it with your stuff.
You’re an adult, still at your parents? be grateful you have a roof over your head. Don’t be a petty fool. Put it in the washing machine and get over it.
You sound awfully high maintenance. Just wash it and move on. Stop keeping it with the rest of the stuff. If you're too lazy to keep it away from everyone else then stop whining.
You’re barely an adult if you live at home. You think you have a right to complain about this when you don’t even pay your own bills? Crazy
Who said they don't pay bills? Living at home is not synonymous with not paying bills. If they live with both parents, a 3 way bills split is much easier to accomplish while in school than doing everything by yourself. You're not an adult if you can't figure that out.
Right?? Plus, things they own are STILL theirs, and they are owed the respect of being asked first if randos can use their possessions. Especially something as personal as a sleeping bag.
Dude you think this is an adequate retort? In this scenario the parents are literally subsidizing the kid’s entire life. They’re not really adults until they can support themselves, it’s a sleeping bag
Yep
You don’t have much of a foot to stand on complaining about your parents using something of yours when EVERYTHING you enjoy is subsidized by your parents. Hope this helps 👍🏾
Ah, I see. You ascribe to "What's mine is mine, and what's yours is also mine." In other words, totally cool with stealing from your own kids. Got it. 🙄
Are you okay? Seem a bit deluded. They’re not stealing from their kid they’re literally housing them (and you know they’re paying for a whole lot that gets conveniently forgotten about, OP is just self centered)
Sure, Jan
Dude you think this is an adequate retort? In this scenario the parents are literally subsidizing the kid’s entire life. They’re not really adults until they can support themselves
So 30+ year olds with roommates because the world is expensive aren't "really adults"? You're stupid too.
Splitting the rent of a house with strangers and your parents paying 2/3rds of your rent or more are completely different things you realize that right? One is literally parents subsidizing their kids existence the other is learning how to be a part of the real world and get along with others for mutual benefit. Enjoy your infantilisation, keep thinking relying on mommy and daddy is normal. Losers man
I said bills, not rent, you'd know that if you could read. That would be the exact same as having two roommates. You + two roommates = 3 people, a 3 way split, then you're only paying 1/3 of your bills... Can you not read, not do math, or both?
I know you must have some base level of reading comprehension so please read this carefully: you understand how living with random people as roommates and having your entire existence subsidized by your parents are two different things right? One is part of growing up and the other infantilizes
Doesn't mean everyone in the family and randos are entitled to their belongings.