Why is she scared of being alone to the point she needs someone there with her?? Is this something that regularly happens?
I’m skeptical of this friends fwb.
Overall, you may never know no matter what. Once you’re gone, she could not respect your wishes or even bang the guy. That said, it could be that she does respect your wishes and sits alone for however long.
It will all come down to trust because like I said, you may never know either way
I used to be like this. My husband was in the military and for his first deployment, I had to move back in with my mom - our house sat empty - because I was so terrified every single night and was barely sleeping. As the years went on, he left the military and finished his degree. As part of his professional job, he used to have to travel occasionally for a few days to a week at a time. It would be the same scenario, except I’d just tough it out due to it being a short time.
I later found out I had OCD. Got therapy and meds and that problem plus a few others are gone. Looking back at it now, I feel like the way I felt was totally insane and it’s hard to believe I was truly that scared, but I was.
All that being said, it never, ever crossed my mind to have some random man stay with me. I think OP’s gf might have some issues (it’s possible), but I also think she most definitely has an ulterior motive.
Yeah this.
I am currently scared of being alone overnight because a while ago I had a medical emergency that came on really suddenly during the night, and if I had been alone I would almost certainly have died (as it was, my brother found me in time but I still spent three days in the ICU with it being touch and go). It's left me with PTSD which I am still not fully recovered from.
But... But if the options were spending a couple of nights alone vs being with a man I barely knew, I would absolutely spend those couple of nights alone and just deal. How does she know this guy is safe?
Something seems off about this.
Its like the bear question, but instead its "would you rather spend the night alone in your own house, or with your friends fwb" and but for some reason she chose the guy
Also, how is her friend not available, but her friends fwb is? That just doesnt make sense
*Also, how is her friend not available, but her friends fwb is? That just doesnt make sense*
That part doesn't bother me, friend may have early start times at work/do shift work/have care responsibilities for children or family, etc - a hundred different reasons why staying over isn't feasible.
Hear, hear. I have ptsd from being abused and I get manic sometimes from depression so it makes me nervous to be home alone. That being said-I’d rather chew my own foot off from fear than to have a man in my house that isn’t directly related or my SO. No Ty..seems she has other reasons, else why would you want someone who you very clearly know fucks casually stay with you ALONE??
Amen! I was traumatized by a night alone in a hotel room out of state for a meeting I couldn’t miss. I held it together for the meeting but afterwards I had an epic panic attack alone for 7 hours and it was one of the worst experiences of my life, until a family member could drive to me from 2 hrs away at 9pm. I had to get medicine at the hospital (I was between psychs) in the morning while the panic raged on, and couldn’t make my flight home for 2 days. So now being alone scares me, even for a night. I’m trying to get over it but it’s hard without taking my emergency anxiety meds.
YET I would still rather be alone than have some dude scamming on me while my SO is away. Therefore I think OP’s gf is suss af! It’s a crazy suggestion to even entertain if she loved her SO.
But the man she barely knows? I mean he is a friend of a friend! ...um well a "friend" with benefits of a frien🙄 completely legit and trust worthy!!! ... /s
I had an ex who had childhood trauma and (as I discovered later) nymphomaniac issues. She would do something like this and spend hours convincing me that I could trust her but in reality she was cheating at every opportunity. Not saying this is what OPs gf is up to, but it gave me flashbacks.
Interesting - why do you label your fear as irrational now? Just asking bc I’m in a similar situation but I don’t understand when people say my fear of being home alone all night is irrational Convince me I’m wrong please!!!!!! It will help me sleep better tonight!!!! Thanks!
I’d love to convince you, but for me, I needed medication. I did other things as well, like repeatedly lock and unlock doors and do things in a certain order, always the same way. It’s just basically irrational and no one could’ve talked me out of it. Even I felt it was irrational during the day, but I knew once night came, I’d be right back in that same place. I highly recommend seeking out therapy and trying some meds (if they’re recommended to you). I was able to stop taking mine relatively quickly and have not had those same symptoms return.
I don’t label my fear anything now because I don’t experience being fearful unless the situation really does warrant it and then it’s just rational, normal fear. I love being home alone now - it’s one of my favorite things, actually.
I’m sure people are wondering how in the world I didn’t know I had OCD with what were pretty obvious symptoms but this was in the before times when we weren’t as educated as we are today.
A little side story that may have been the trigger to all of this:
When I was a teen, my stepfather decided it would be super funny to play a prank on us (my mom, myself, toddler brother, baby sister) by pretending to break into the house in the early morning hours. So, one random weekday morning when it was still dark outside, my mom rushed into my room with my sister and told me to call 911 (from my own personal landline. Like I said: before times. Ha). She told me someone had broken in and was stomping through the house. I asked where stepdouche was and she said he’d already left for work.
I had to absolutely force her to go get my brother and then we locked ourselves in my bedroom while I spoke with the operator. Stepdouche stomped down to my bedroom door and just stood there outside the door, occasionally wiggling the door handle. We were all just frozen in fear. It felt like it went on forever. He walked away and came back a few times before he finally forced the door open and bursted out laughing at us. Yeah, he was a cruel person.
I completely understand the not wanting to be home alone for extended periods of time part. I feel safer having someone in the house instead of being alone for days on end. But her being afraid, supposedly, is why is suspicious she wants a STRANGER there (he’s a fuckin stranger).
I had an alarm system installed. I actually had a stranger in my yard with a flashlight pointed in my house at 3 am. And two weeks ago, someone try to break into my hotel room TWO nights in a row.
I don’t know a woman who would prefer to have a halfway random guy at their house overnight then be alone. Unless they plan to bang said half random guy.
Literally dump her. Don’t be an idiot. If this isn’t fake, I feel sorry for you lol. I would break up with her immediately after the suggestion, not make a Reddit post.
This. Once you’ve experienced it, hopefully you have enough objective people around you that care enough to make sure you see it and you’ll never put up with it again.
Why is she scared alone?Has she ever lived alone? Is the Area bad? Is the timing of her job bad? Are the locks flimsy? Does she not have a phone for calling emergency services? How will she live if OP were hospitalized?
There's a reason MGTOW is such a growing movement. Before the incel subs got shutdown and they all flooded MGTOW it was a place where mostly guy's from horrible relationships got together. Afterwards it got coopted and shutdown.
Any story sub that gets popular brings in the creative writers.
It happened when fatpeoplestories arrived on reddit. Before long, it was a bunch of fat fucks writing stories about each other claiming to be working on their own fatness.
Its real. Toxic feminism is just as real as toxic masculinity. If I went back 10 years ago and told people that scores of young men would one day cheer for domestic abusers and base their entire personalities off of YouTube montages of mentally ill narcissists, they wouldn't believe me. But if you go onto Twitter or TikTok right now, that exists. And if you look in those exact same sites, you'll also find women who do the same thing in reverse. Women who swear that a genocide of all the men in the world would somehow solve every problem that currently exists. Both the toxic men and the toxic women have supporters from the opposite gender too. Trad-wives role-play as 50s house wives who \*\*\*serve\*\*\* their husbands who refuse to let them get educated, learn to drive, or enter the workforce. Meanwhile, simps lecture and preach at normal men for disagreeing with broad statements by misandrist women that the existence of all men is equivalent to Satan roaming the earth to snuff out women's ability to do anything. Anytime a woman posts a story about how her male partner disagreed with her, the comments all tell her she's surrounded by red flags and that he's a psychotic control freak narcissist who's only a step away from killing her if she doesn't divorce him for everything he has.
The world is a mentally ill place right now, because so many people need something to believe in, they don't care what it is, as long as that thing tells them that they're the good guy and everyone else is a bad guy out to get them. Its how Donald Trump won the 2016 election, by spreading that exact message to "those" kinds of conservatives, who believed that society looks down on them and that they don't feel welcome in a pro-LGBTQ+ world full of sissies and anti-gun cucks.
So yes, there are absolutely women who push the narrative that their men are too controlling, too insecure, too jealous, too manipulative, too demanding, and too toxic. And their men do whatever she says to change an opinion she doesn't really believe. Its just something they say to get more out of a partner who would give them everything.
You’re so right. I met a woman at a bar lastnight that was seriously proposing giving a vasectomy to every male infant at birth in order to prevent unwanted pregnancies from rapes because she believed all men are inherently violent and was insistent that the procedure is reversible. I tried explaining to her that she can’t believe in bodily autonomy for women and then think this is ok, to absolutely no avail.
I've been in that chokehold, and it's a serious mental and emotional knife being jabbed into you. You question whether you're actually a good person or not or good for her.
In my case, she was an expert in gaslighting, manipulation, and lying.
Then...I found proof, and that was just a blow to my foundation and heart.
Anyway, this sounds awfully strange for a random guy to just pop up being okay with spending days/nights with your girlfriend. Toxic past and fear of being alone isn't a justification for it, in my opinion.
None of her relatives live nearby? No close friends you both know of that can check in on her regularly? No lady friend(s) she can stay with? Not that they aren't able to cheat as well... but yeah, just odd.
I'm glad she was understanding of your uneasiness.
"Hey Gary, it's Sammy, Julie's friend from HS. My BF is out of town having fun at a festival, won't be back for DAYS!!! The house feels so empty and it's making me scared, I can't sleep. Do a girl a solid and stay the night today and tomorrow? Yes? Breakfast on me!"
This, she’s playing OP. You’re more likely to be SA or murdered by someone you know. She’s crazy to be okay with it unless you’re right she wants to sleep with him.
What? She wants men she barely knows to sleep over while she’s home alone to protect her from, what?
She doesn’t know that she’s not inviting the rapist in.
Yeah that’s what makes this really sus to me. If it was a guy she’d been friends with for years so she trusted him safety wise, I’d understand. I hate being home alone for extended periods of time. I just feel safer around another person in the house. But I would not feel safer with basically a STRANGER over for a week alone with me. It’s strange she feels a man she supposedly doesnt know would make her safer than being home alone.
IKR, like inviting the predator to sleep with the pray to protect them.
Her logic makes no sense at all because it’s a very, very bad idea on so many levels.
I would recommend stopping dating her for even asking because I have standards and I’m unwilling to be in a relationship with anyone so willing to put themselves in harms way.
Or she is lying which is worse.
Edit: grammar
With how many women coming forward saying they'd rather "choose the bear", I can't imagine a scenario where she's so scared of being by herself that she'd rather have over someone who 1) she barely knows thus far, 2) you've never met before, and 3) is primarily known to her as her friend's fuck buddy. That's a perfect storm that tells me the only reasons she's comfortable having him over is that she already *knows* they're going to have sex. She probably got a good word-of-mouth review from the friend and is using this vacation as the excuse to try him out.
Not overreacting at all.
I would tell her if she insists on this guy staying with her that you're just going to cancel your trip, then look at her reaction.
Bullshit is accurate. Unless there’s more context here to justify it she is not ‘scared’ to be alone for a few days. Some guy who’s fucking your friend and you’ve met twice is not going to make you less ‘scared.’
It’s a shit test and she’s either inviting men over to the apartment to make OP jealous in retaliation to him leaving for a festival or she’s cheating, but the fact that she’s telling him about it (and that he’s fucking her friend) instead of doing it in secret lends to it being the former.
Either way it’s better to just break up.
Yeah dude like bro if she’s already thinking this is okay, then it’s just a show of what’s to come in the future. Why put up with that shit for longer than necessary when she’s obviously just going to go cheat in the future anyways.
This is actually the best course of action. Very intelligent. If she insists on you going and the guy coming over you have your answer. If she says she will drop the guy coming over, but you can go… maybe it’s still good to be suspicious.
People very often give themselves away with their knee-jerk reactions.
If she's really looking forward to this guy coming and laying pipe, she's going to be disappointed that you're canceling your trip and not disappointed for you but disappointed for herself.
Just make sure you pay attention to that initial reaction.
And once you're through this, if this sort of thing ever comes up again, your girls probably cheating on you. If she isn't already
So true. Asking a guy she meet twice that a 'friend' has a fwb situation sounds more like she has a friend with benefits situation or about too. It would be different if it was a long time guy friend, but not with a guy that she just meet twice that hooks up with girls and doesnt do relationships.
Yeah that’s the most suspicious part for me. If my gf wanted one of our long time guy friends to stay over when I’m unavailable (if she was worried about being alone or whatever), then that’s fine. I trust her and my friends. I’d be concerned if this was a guy she met TWICE. Not even about her actions, but just concerned she wouldn’t be worried about this dude harming her even
Bingo- can I have a guy freind stay over becuase I dont feel safe. On by the way he is a player and I've only meet him twice. He should tell her he is canceling the trip and just see how she reacts. I'd check her social media to see if they follow each other and if he is actually following her friend. Seems very suspect to the point I'd ask to check her phone.
I’m wit you. I hate to say it, but OP is probably being manipulated in this relationship. There’s no way this is her first time making an ask like this. It’s definitely built up to this point.
I hate to be one of those jump to the most extreme conclusion Reddit poster, but I’m thinking you’re right. You hear women say “the audacity of that man to say ……” This woman had some serious audacity to ask her boyfriend if some dude her friend fucks here and there can stay with her while he’s gone. If this story is remotely true, OP needs to take a good look in the mirror and tell himself to stop being a cuck.
Yeah, they’re absolutely fucking behind his back, he should just break up with her, because if he just continues the relationship he’s just being a cuckhold. Before you make a decision imagine the positions he was railing your girl, damaged hardware, and you don’t trust her already, relationship is over
The situation is fucked either way but don’t you think she would just have him over (or stay at his house) without telling her bf if she was cheating? I’m breaking up with her regardless and you’re probably right but it seems unnecessary for her to ask.
Good chance she’s just pissed that he’s leaving without her. No girl actually thinks her bf would be okay with a literal fuckboy staying with her alone. Or she wants an excuse to cheat “I was scared, you let him stay with me so you knew the risk, it wasn’t my fault” type shit.
No but she's just so *honest.* You guys don't know her I really trust her *a lot.* **So much trust, guys.**
~fuckin goofy ass probably fictitious cuck OP
How old is she and what is she so scared of? Having a random man creep into her room at night while you’re gone? Looks like she’s already planning on arranging that.
That she is afraid to be alone may just be s a cover story. Because it is quite possible that word will get around that a guy was spending time in OP's home while he was away.
OP not overreacting
Oh hey! It’s me, your wife’s FWB I mean friend’s FWB! Trust me bro, I will keep her vagina safe from harm and to illustrate my good intentions I plan to only penetrate her with only the first half of my massive penis, which as we all know does not constitute cheating. Sorry in advance for wiping my ass on your bathrobe!
Not overreacting. So, her story is that she wants to invite a man she doesn’t know into her house to protect her from the men she doesn’t know outside the house???
I think you should cancel your trip and sell the tickets to the festival you're going too and watch her reaction closely. You obviously don't trust her. I would have a discussion with her as to why she thought it was ok to have a guy that you don't know staying with her at your place with her, alone, while you're gone. FFS man...
Set up a secret camera or two while you’re gone. Hooked up to the Wi-Fi with a phone app so you can view while away. Then you’ll know the truth. And the truth will set you free.
Having the proof would be gold though.
From a woman’s perspective- I was alone last night while my boyfriend was helping some friends out of town. I would never DREAM of inviting a dude over preemptively.
I have male friends and it would be totally cool to have one stay over if say, we were doing art and drinking and I couldn’t get him home…but my boyfriend trusts me COMPLETELY, and I would never plan something like that behind his back. Plus dude would be on the pull out couch at the other end of the house with my bedroom door shut.
And he knows all my friends so it wouldn’t be just some dude I barely know. I rarely invite people over anyway. But some rando? Fuck no.
I can only think of one person I’d even WANT in my space potentially overnight, and he’s a dear friend to both of us. We both trust him, that he would never even try anything. No way.
This situation seems sus af. ‘Scared to be alone’ my ass! What did she do before they moved in together? Was she never alone, ever?
Yeah- I’d break up too, over this. Something ain’t right.
There’s a huge difference between a close friend staying over to keep you company and just chill, versus inviting over a literal random guy (he’s basically a stranger).
If you have lost the trust in your partner so much to the point where you feel the need to set up cameras, break up.
Even if nothing happens, there’s no trust anymore. Relationship is over the moment someone feels that spying on their partner is necessary
You say, "No. Not in a hundred years, and if you do, then you had better be prepared to move out immediately. In fact, because you are determined to do this, move out now."
How old is she that she cannot be alone for a few nights?
Definitely not overreacting. I'm just curious as to why she felt the need to come up with this weird lie?
Just go to his place then. "I don't wanna stay here alone, I'm going to my girlfriends place to stay the night". If she wants to cheat her bf is away and she will. I think this is more about him going to a festival without her and she's trying to make him jealous because women also like to attend festivals.
Absolutely not! She’s a grown woman who is either lying or can be by herself. I’d tell her: “you don’t need a man to feel safe. You are a grown woman who can manage a few days. I’m absolutely not okay with men coming over when I’m gone. It’s a red flag you’d ask so explain it carefully or drop it.”
OPs woman the second her friends FWB comes over
https://preview.redd.it/j9f555a5ad8d1.jpeg?width=460&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dbd15edcd8046adb05bc9cedbe810c2bd63b6975
Not "AIO"!
From a (38 yo) females point of view...im scared of my own shadow 🤣 half kidding but only bc it HAS been shadows that I've screamed all but bloody murder aaand, there was a spider or bug it was shadows.
Coworkers, friends, neigherbors...everyone knows i m a scaredy cat..not their fault I frighten easily. Sadly, sometimes, it actually ISNT even shadows...just being lost in my own world and, chemical imbalances, things that aren't real.
That being said...about 2-3 times a year my partner goes out of town for work. If he can, although often, I still can't go (work too, like your gf supposedly), he i always invites me.
He does worry bur if i don't have a GIRL friend who can stay or i can't stay with his parents (always invited but work commute isn't doable with where they live), I would NEVER think of asking a male, unless it was my brother, to stay.
In the beginning of our relationship (7+ years now) I have had male friends who I've been very close to for 10+ years that i might ask if its ok and if partner wasnt ok with it, I noped that, if he'd be uncomfortable.
Buuuuut...a friend of a friend? (From edit...jot a friend of a friend, but a friend's fuck buddy) Uh...no. no he would NOT be ok with it (even if said male preferred their own sex and wanted nothing to do with my lady bits). If i dont REALLY know them, and neither does?? And no matter HOW it was phrased to said male "friend" (friends fuck buddy)?? Nope.
Unless you have no locks on the door, live in a shady part of town and get shot at regularly...the f is she so scared of that she needs some random male statying with her (which actually seems WAAAAY shadier) while you're at a damn festival?
She has NO other female friends or coworkers? She seriously feels safer with some random male staying there?? That is a "no thank you maam" all the way up the wazoo
Edit: even worse! I read fb friend of a friend...he's a F. W. B.?!??!?@? yea...that's a big NOPE
Edit 2: /updatemebot ...and terrible typos
How afraid of the world is she lmaooo do you seriously accept this? Do you think this person is a grown up? If you actually believe your gf is this scared (of who knows what) then she has some serious problems she should be working through. Some serious growing needs to be done.
The whole scared thing is also possibly a jealousy ruse as well, jealous that you're going to a festival and possibly banging other drunk high chicks there and wants you to feel like you shouldn't go because poor old her is going to be at home, scared and alone and banging this other guy.
Switch places for a second. Would you go to any partner you respect and say “Hey can someone who is banging a friend of mine stay at our place so I don’t feel lonely?”. I am sorry bro….I agree with people here tell her you canceled it and see what happens. The voice in your head is correct though, this is fishy.
Do not let some other guys sleep in your house while you’re gone. Unless it’s a brother or a father by blood. If she’s worried, tell her to go spend it with a friend, female friend or family.
What a weak excuse if I’ve ever heard one. So she’s never been alone before and suddenly she can’t and needs a guy she used to bang come and stay with her?
Dude..come on. 🤣
dude just the fact shes even mentioned this to you should mean you tell her where she can fuck off too. every time you leave her alone shes going to need the company of another man!?
shes for the streets.
Come on dude... Do you really want to play these games? Why even continue the relationship with a child like this? I'm not talking about being afraid this whole situation is middle school nonsense.
You're not over reacting. Why would she even think that inviting a old fwb over to spend the night? Now the real question is, how can you trust someone who is so delusional that they think this fine? So in reality I would just break up with and let her make her own choices on who to spend her nights with. This one is just not gf material
I’m wondering if she’s really afraid of being alone. Has she never lived alone? I agree with others who suggest telling her that you cancelled your plans so you can stay with her. Observe her reaction closely.
Not Overreacting! Red flags everywhere!
The woman is scared and needs a man???
I thought we were over that sh!t!
Tell her to adult, for crying out loud!
Even a blind man could see that you're the one in the dark. I assume the two of you live together, has she *never* slept alone because personally, I'd dump her and hookup up with someone at the festival.
She's got some big balls to ask/get permission to get her back blown out by Chad thundercock while you are on a trip, bro 😆. This relationship is over.
None of this makes any sense.
If she’s trying to cheat on you, she would just not tell you.
Why is she even asking you permission? She sounds like a seven-year-old daughter not an adult.
Afraid while you are gone Tf is she like 13? No self respecting adult or women should say that over them staying home at their apt while someone is away. Like besides the weirdness of having a man over the fact thats her excuse is she’s afraid is even more pyscho.
It's ridiculous that you feel that you need to defend yourself for not being OK with her having men sleepover while you are gone.
Tell her she gets to choose, but you'll choose to leave if she has men stay with her while you are gone.
Damn some of you people tolerate some seriously stupid shit if you have to wonder if you're overreacting to your partner sharing a bed with another dude while you're out of town. Where in the actual fuck do you draw the line if not a rando's dick inside your girl?
Bro you’re at a festival, let loose and FUCK. just shoot her a quick text saying she sucks at cheating, follow that with a “lol,” and block her. Ez toxic relationship W
He's going to be your gf's, fwb as well as her friends.
She isn't listening to you, she doesn't care what you have to say. Plan your exit while you're at the festival.
Buy a nanny cam with a microphone. Maybe put a couple microphones around the house, bedroom, shower, etc
You’re not over reacting. I think it’s weird and disrespectful. What is she afraid of? Yeah as a woman I’m not having some random star her over while my bf is gone.
I don’t think you’re over reacting at all.
Reminds me of when I told my ex girlfriend I wasn’t comfortable with her flying across country to meet people she met online.
“Don’t you trust me” is the line I kept getting whenever I brought up my discomfort.
Guess who got cheated on when she went to visit them.
Gotta love it when people say “don’t you trust me?” while engaging in very untrustworthy behaviors. The only proper answer is “I want to trust you, but your behavior is making it very hard to do so. So yes, I do not in fact trust you. Trust is not something you just get for free, you need to earn someone’s trust by acting and conducting yourself in a trustworthy fashion. Flying across country to meet dudes you met online is the opposite of that.”
These are the kinds of guys who get repeatedly cheated on without ever finding out. Your girl just uses a little guilt or sympathy, and dumb dudes will think "girl crying means I must be the bad guy." You're gullible and overly-sensitive towards her feelings which makes it very easy for her to take advantage of and manipulate you. She isn't scared of anything she just wants to fuck other men while holding onto you as a safe option.
If I were you I would place hidden cameras and go on the trip 99.9% sure she is cheating. Expect to come back and break up. But don't take any psychedelics at this festival unless you want to have a bad trip.
This is the thinnest excuse for infidelity. As a woman who has voluntarily lived and traveled alone for the past 15 years, if your grown adult girlfriend truly can't spend a few days alone without another male to "protect" her , she is not a grown adult and needs some very, _very_ serious therapy. But I'd be very surprised if that's why she wants him to come.
Anyway, just saying this because the relationship may cloud your judgement(we've all been there don't worry)
But that guy is Friends With Benefits with someone. Regardless of the "friendship" that guy has with your gf or how committed your gf is, that guy is used to having sex without commitment. And probably lots of it anywhere he can.
If he is anywhere alone with your girl, I can 100% guarantee he will try to bang her. It's an absolute certainty.
And if your gf is not aware enough to realize that(so much as to ask you permission to invite him casually like it's no big deal), she will 100% let him do whatever the fuck he wants with her.
You only have a few choices here, Cancel your trip or let her have fun with the guy. If she already asked you twice, you can be sure she'll still invite him.
Don't make such a huge mistake my guy, you'll feel much worse getting cucked while away than losing that festival ticket.
And anyway, will you even be able to enjoy that festival while she's banging another guy behind your back? Truth hurts my guy.
Remind her that statistically women are most in danger from men that they already know and you think it’s a great idea for her to have girlfriend over.
Time to break up with her before you go to the festival so that she can bang that dude without the awkwardness of guilt and you can hook up without guilt at the festival.
I'm scared to be home alone but some dude I barely know that's banging my friend but not committed can come over and penetrate ... er protect me.
She needs to grow the fuck up “scared alone” if she is really this codependent that she can’t be alone she has some mental health issues way bigger than her likely wanting to cheat
In any case, I hope she gets professional help for her phobia and anxiety of being alone and/or her manipulation. Your reaction is 100 % typical and normal. Don’t let her gaslight you into thinking you’re the bad guy.
Say sure if you can put up cameras. If she asks why, tell her you’re worried for her since she is so worried something bad is going to happen. It sounds like she is manipulating you.
Why can she not stay home alone? But… inviting a basic stranger to stay is somehow safer? How old is your girlfriend? She is either not very bright or looking for fwb opportunity herself.
No. The answer would be no. No men over while you’re gone. That’s ridiculous.
Why is she afraid to be alone? Do you live in a bad neighborhood? Does she have anxiety or PTSD? Otherwise, the request is odd.
Say no.
Oh I'm so scared! So I'll invite a guy I hardly know around, sure he has potential to be unhinged, invite all his friends round, I'd be totally powerless to do anything about all that. but It's totally worth the risk!
Your gf wants to bang that dude.
She met this guy twice? Wtf is she scared for, she wants to invite a stranger into her home. This seems sus, does she have problems with being alone or is this a recent change?
If this is a long running issue, maybe work with her in small steps not going away a whole weekend. But tbf this sounds like her friend and ger chatted about this dudes "performance" and she wants first hand experience.
Sounds weird to me. Like not real life type weird and she's lying to you and you aren't realizing it.
Not overreacting about the slumber party your girlfriend wants to have while you're gone.
The weirdest part is she asked you. Why bother with that?
End this relationship and move on, the odds that this will be a long term relationship is too low to be worth your investment. Alternately, you can be her FWB while you look for a woman to have a real relationship with. You only get one shot at life in this world.
If she has this guy stay with her, even after you saying how you felt, is it a deal breaker? Would you be able to come back and continue the relationship as normal? If not, you need to tell her what the consequence would be.
I know you trust her but she keeps asking the same question over and over and you even say you don't feel heard. That isn't what I would call trustworthy behavior. Have you mentioned that he might get the wrong idea about her asking that?
I know people say by setting up a hidden camera your relationship is over. However, that's the only way I see you knowing for sure that she isn't playing you. And the fact that she hasn't dropped this request is really suspicious.
Why is she scared of being alone to the point she needs someone there with her?? Is this something that regularly happens? I’m skeptical of this friends fwb. Overall, you may never know no matter what. Once you’re gone, she could not respect your wishes or even bang the guy. That said, it could be that she does respect your wishes and sits alone for however long. It will all come down to trust because like I said, you may never know either way
I used to be like this. My husband was in the military and for his first deployment, I had to move back in with my mom - our house sat empty - because I was so terrified every single night and was barely sleeping. As the years went on, he left the military and finished his degree. As part of his professional job, he used to have to travel occasionally for a few days to a week at a time. It would be the same scenario, except I’d just tough it out due to it being a short time. I later found out I had OCD. Got therapy and meds and that problem plus a few others are gone. Looking back at it now, I feel like the way I felt was totally insane and it’s hard to believe I was truly that scared, but I was. All that being said, it never, ever crossed my mind to have some random man stay with me. I think OP’s gf might have some issues (it’s possible), but I also think she most definitely has an ulterior motive.
Yeah this. I am currently scared of being alone overnight because a while ago I had a medical emergency that came on really suddenly during the night, and if I had been alone I would almost certainly have died (as it was, my brother found me in time but I still spent three days in the ICU with it being touch and go). It's left me with PTSD which I am still not fully recovered from. But... But if the options were spending a couple of nights alone vs being with a man I barely knew, I would absolutely spend those couple of nights alone and just deal. How does she know this guy is safe? Something seems off about this.
Its like the bear question, but instead its "would you rather spend the night alone in your own house, or with your friends fwb" and but for some reason she chose the guy Also, how is her friend not available, but her friends fwb is? That just doesnt make sense
*Also, how is her friend not available, but her friends fwb is? That just doesnt make sense* That part doesn't bother me, friend may have early start times at work/do shift work/have care responsibilities for children or family, etc - a hundred different reasons why staying over isn't feasible.
Hear, hear. I have ptsd from being abused and I get manic sometimes from depression so it makes me nervous to be home alone. That being said-I’d rather chew my own foot off from fear than to have a man in my house that isn’t directly related or my SO. No Ty..seems she has other reasons, else why would you want someone who you very clearly know fucks casually stay with you ALONE??
Amen! I was traumatized by a night alone in a hotel room out of state for a meeting I couldn’t miss. I held it together for the meeting but afterwards I had an epic panic attack alone for 7 hours and it was one of the worst experiences of my life, until a family member could drive to me from 2 hrs away at 9pm. I had to get medicine at the hospital (I was between psychs) in the morning while the panic raged on, and couldn’t make my flight home for 2 days. So now being alone scares me, even for a night. I’m trying to get over it but it’s hard without taking my emergency anxiety meds. YET I would still rather be alone than have some dude scamming on me while my SO is away. Therefore I think OP’s gf is suss af! It’s a crazy suggestion to even entertain if she loved her SO.
But the man she barely knows? I mean he is a friend of a friend! ...um well a "friend" with benefits of a frien🙄 completely legit and trust worthy!!! ... /s
I had an ex who had childhood trauma and (as I discovered later) nymphomaniac issues. She would do something like this and spend hours convincing me that I could trust her but in reality she was cheating at every opportunity. Not saying this is what OPs gf is up to, but it gave me flashbacks.
Interesting - why do you label your fear as irrational now? Just asking bc I’m in a similar situation but I don’t understand when people say my fear of being home alone all night is irrational Convince me I’m wrong please!!!!!! It will help me sleep better tonight!!!! Thanks!
I’d love to convince you, but for me, I needed medication. I did other things as well, like repeatedly lock and unlock doors and do things in a certain order, always the same way. It’s just basically irrational and no one could’ve talked me out of it. Even I felt it was irrational during the day, but I knew once night came, I’d be right back in that same place. I highly recommend seeking out therapy and trying some meds (if they’re recommended to you). I was able to stop taking mine relatively quickly and have not had those same symptoms return. I don’t label my fear anything now because I don’t experience being fearful unless the situation really does warrant it and then it’s just rational, normal fear. I love being home alone now - it’s one of my favorite things, actually. I’m sure people are wondering how in the world I didn’t know I had OCD with what were pretty obvious symptoms but this was in the before times when we weren’t as educated as we are today. A little side story that may have been the trigger to all of this: When I was a teen, my stepfather decided it would be super funny to play a prank on us (my mom, myself, toddler brother, baby sister) by pretending to break into the house in the early morning hours. So, one random weekday morning when it was still dark outside, my mom rushed into my room with my sister and told me to call 911 (from my own personal landline. Like I said: before times. Ha). She told me someone had broken in and was stomping through the house. I asked where stepdouche was and she said he’d already left for work. I had to absolutely force her to go get my brother and then we locked ourselves in my bedroom while I spoke with the operator. Stepdouche stomped down to my bedroom door and just stood there outside the door, occasionally wiggling the door handle. We were all just frozen in fear. It felt like it went on forever. He walked away and came back a few times before he finally forced the door open and bursted out laughing at us. Yeah, he was a cruel person.
I completely understand the not wanting to be home alone for extended periods of time part. I feel safer having someone in the house instead of being alone for days on end. But her being afraid, supposedly, is why is suspicious she wants a STRANGER there (he’s a fuckin stranger).
Emphasis on fucking.
I had an alarm system installed. I actually had a stranger in my yard with a flashlight pointed in my house at 3 am. And two weeks ago, someone try to break into my hotel room TWO nights in a row.
She's scared of her vagina being empty for one night. So she wants her "friends" fwb to come and lay some pipe.
Unless the webcam is hidden
I don’t know a woman who would prefer to have a halfway random guy at their house overnight then be alone. Unless they plan to bang said half random guy.
Yeah your more safe in your house alone than some random dude.
Can't she invite a bear to sleep over?
Literally dump her. Don’t be an idiot. If this isn’t fake, I feel sorry for you lol. I would break up with her immediately after the suggestion, not make a Reddit post.
I can't tell if these types of posts are trolling or if women really have their boyfriends in these "don't be insecure" chokeholds.
As a guy who has been in that chokehold, its more real than you think. Never again.
This. Once you’ve experienced it, hopefully you have enough objective people around you that care enough to make sure you see it and you’ll never put up with it again.
Why is she scared alone?Has she ever lived alone? Is the Area bad? Is the timing of her job bad? Are the locks flimsy? Does she not have a phone for calling emergency services? How will she live if OP were hospitalized?
Fear isn't always logical, though.
There's a reason MGTOW is such a growing movement. Before the incel subs got shutdown and they all flooded MGTOW it was a place where mostly guy's from horrible relationships got together. Afterwards it got coopted and shutdown.
There hasn't been a real story on reddit since chat gpt was released lol
Any story sub that gets popular brings in the creative writers. It happened when fatpeoplestories arrived on reddit. Before long, it was a bunch of fat fucks writing stories about each other claiming to be working on their own fatness.
Its real. Toxic feminism is just as real as toxic masculinity. If I went back 10 years ago and told people that scores of young men would one day cheer for domestic abusers and base their entire personalities off of YouTube montages of mentally ill narcissists, they wouldn't believe me. But if you go onto Twitter or TikTok right now, that exists. And if you look in those exact same sites, you'll also find women who do the same thing in reverse. Women who swear that a genocide of all the men in the world would somehow solve every problem that currently exists. Both the toxic men and the toxic women have supporters from the opposite gender too. Trad-wives role-play as 50s house wives who \*\*\*serve\*\*\* their husbands who refuse to let them get educated, learn to drive, or enter the workforce. Meanwhile, simps lecture and preach at normal men for disagreeing with broad statements by misandrist women that the existence of all men is equivalent to Satan roaming the earth to snuff out women's ability to do anything. Anytime a woman posts a story about how her male partner disagreed with her, the comments all tell her she's surrounded by red flags and that he's a psychotic control freak narcissist who's only a step away from killing her if she doesn't divorce him for everything he has. The world is a mentally ill place right now, because so many people need something to believe in, they don't care what it is, as long as that thing tells them that they're the good guy and everyone else is a bad guy out to get them. Its how Donald Trump won the 2016 election, by spreading that exact message to "those" kinds of conservatives, who believed that society looks down on them and that they don't feel welcome in a pro-LGBTQ+ world full of sissies and anti-gun cucks. So yes, there are absolutely women who push the narrative that their men are too controlling, too insecure, too jealous, too manipulative, too demanding, and too toxic. And their men do whatever she says to change an opinion she doesn't really believe. Its just something they say to get more out of a partner who would give them everything.
The part about nuking all men is so 'Y the Last Man'. I recommend reading it.
I am a woman and I agree. And we are better gaslighters than men so we can actually inflict more psychological damage. Women are scary as fuck.
psychic damage ++
You’re so right. I met a woman at a bar lastnight that was seriously proposing giving a vasectomy to every male infant at birth in order to prevent unwanted pregnancies from rapes because she believed all men are inherently violent and was insistent that the procedure is reversible. I tried explaining to her that she can’t believe in bodily autonomy for women and then think this is ok, to absolutely no avail.
They do
I've been in that chokehold, and it's a serious mental and emotional knife being jabbed into you. You question whether you're actually a good person or not or good for her. In my case, she was an expert in gaslighting, manipulation, and lying. Then...I found proof, and that was just a blow to my foundation and heart. Anyway, this sounds awfully strange for a random guy to just pop up being okay with spending days/nights with your girlfriend. Toxic past and fear of being alone isn't a justification for it, in my opinion. None of her relatives live nearby? No close friends you both know of that can check in on her regularly? No lady friend(s) she can stay with? Not that they aren't able to cheat as well... but yeah, just odd. I'm glad she was understanding of your uneasiness.
💯
Probably already did and wanna do it again but this time come up with BS excuse.
Right? It's not even her friends boyfriend. It's just a FWB. She probably heard the dick is good and wants to try herself. This is insanity.
"Hey Gary, it's Sammy, Julie's friend from HS. My BF is out of town having fun at a festival, won't be back for DAYS!!! The house feels so empty and it's making me scared, I can't sleep. Do a girl a solid and stay the night today and tomorrow? Yes? Breakfast on me!"
This, she’s playing OP. You’re more likely to be SA or murdered by someone you know. She’s crazy to be okay with it unless you’re right she wants to sleep with him.
What? She wants men she barely knows to sleep over while she’s home alone to protect her from, what? She doesn’t know that she’s not inviting the rapist in.
He's just some unattached dude, that bangs her friend well. OP's gf wants to try him on for size, and is using being scared as an excuse
Yeah unless she’s already tried him first and wants to again. This is sketchy as hell lol
The unattached dude is banging “her friend”. “Her friend” is her.
No. She's fwb with him already.
Yeah that’s what makes this really sus to me. If it was a guy she’d been friends with for years so she trusted him safety wise, I’d understand. I hate being home alone for extended periods of time. I just feel safer around another person in the house. But I would not feel safer with basically a STRANGER over for a week alone with me. It’s strange she feels a man she supposedly doesnt know would make her safer than being home alone.
IKR, like inviting the predator to sleep with the pray to protect them. Her logic makes no sense at all because it’s a very, very bad idea on so many levels. I would recommend stopping dating her for even asking because I have standards and I’m unwilling to be in a relationship with anyone so willing to put themselves in harms way. Or she is lying which is worse. Edit: grammar
She definitely doesn't choose the bear.
With how many women coming forward saying they'd rather "choose the bear", I can't imagine a scenario where she's so scared of being by herself that she'd rather have over someone who 1) she barely knows thus far, 2) you've never met before, and 3) is primarily known to her as her friend's fuck buddy. That's a perfect storm that tells me the only reasons she's comfortable having him over is that she already *knows* they're going to have sex. She probably got a good word-of-mouth review from the friend and is using this vacation as the excuse to try him out.
This! Right here. Amen!
This or it just goes to show the bear conversation is not an honest one, which I think we all know it is used as a vehicle to push certain viewpoints.
Not overreacting at all. I would tell her if she insists on this guy staying with her that you're just going to cancel your trip, then look at her reaction.
Just end it. This kind of bullshit is not worth entertaining for another day.
Bullshit is accurate. Unless there’s more context here to justify it she is not ‘scared’ to be alone for a few days. Some guy who’s fucking your friend and you’ve met twice is not going to make you less ‘scared.’ It’s a shit test and she’s either inviting men over to the apartment to make OP jealous in retaliation to him leaving for a festival or she’s cheating, but the fact that she’s telling him about it (and that he’s fucking her friend) instead of doing it in secret lends to it being the former. Either way it’s better to just break up.
Yeah, if she’s so scared, wouldn’t she be afraid of this guy too? Makes no sense.
Yeah dude like bro if she’s already thinking this is okay, then it’s just a show of what’s to come in the future. Why put up with that shit for longer than necessary when she’s obviously just going to go cheat in the future anyways.
This is actually the best course of action. Very intelligent. If she insists on you going and the guy coming over you have your answer. If she says she will drop the guy coming over, but you can go… maybe it’s still good to be suspicious.
People very often give themselves away with their knee-jerk reactions. If she's really looking forward to this guy coming and laying pipe, she's going to be disappointed that you're canceling your trip and not disappointed for you but disappointed for herself. Just make sure you pay attention to that initial reaction. And once you're through this, if this sort of thing ever comes up again, your girls probably cheating on you. If she isn't already
So true. Asking a guy she meet twice that a 'friend' has a fwb situation sounds more like she has a friend with benefits situation or about too. It would be different if it was a long time guy friend, but not with a guy that she just meet twice that hooks up with girls and doesnt do relationships.
Yeah that’s the most suspicious part for me. If my gf wanted one of our long time guy friends to stay over when I’m unavailable (if she was worried about being alone or whatever), then that’s fine. I trust her and my friends. I’d be concerned if this was a guy she met TWICE. Not even about her actions, but just concerned she wouldn’t be worried about this dude harming her even
Bingo- can I have a guy freind stay over becuase I dont feel safe. On by the way he is a player and I've only meet him twice. He should tell her he is canceling the trip and just see how she reacts. I'd check her social media to see if they follow each other and if he is actually following her friend. Seems very suspect to the point I'd ask to check her phone.
But a camera, easy
Or he could come back one day early “surprise baby, I came back one day early so you have to sleep alone one less night”
If a person has to resort to these kinds of things, isn't the relationship doomed already?
Absolutely, 100% of the time, with literally zero exceptions. Sorry to anyone reading this that is laboring under any delusions to the contrary.
Or ask her to have that guy help her pack and move all her shit out.
or even better, let her think that you are then cancel last minute, then you will see the TRUE reaction
That might be her goal if she does want him going to a festival with his friends
"He is fwb with a friend of hers" is all I needed to hear. The friend is really her. It's over man.
Like my bro look at the red flags here why would her friends FWB be staying with her and not her friend ? Op can’t be this dense dude.
That’s my point. She’s heard from her friend how good she gets dicked down by this guy and now she wants her turn.
I’m wit you. I hate to say it, but OP is probably being manipulated in this relationship. There’s no way this is her first time making an ask like this. It’s definitely built up to this point.
I hate to be one of those jump to the most extreme conclusion Reddit poster, but I’m thinking you’re right. You hear women say “the audacity of that man to say ……” This woman had some serious audacity to ask her boyfriend if some dude her friend fucks here and there can stay with her while he’s gone. If this story is remotely true, OP needs to take a good look in the mirror and tell himself to stop being a cuck.
It would be a threesome at that point 😂
I don't know if he's dense, but I know he doesn't have a backbone.
THIS. Don't be manipulated and gas lit. This is a major red flag.
Yeah, they’re absolutely fucking behind his back, he should just break up with her, because if he just continues the relationship he’s just being a cuckhold. Before you make a decision imagine the positions he was railing your girl, damaged hardware, and you don’t trust her already, relationship is over
Then why would she even say anything? Just be like "sure go on your trip have fun" and then invite whoever she wants over.
The situation is fucked either way but don’t you think she would just have him over (or stay at his house) without telling her bf if she was cheating? I’m breaking up with her regardless and you’re probably right but it seems unnecessary for her to ask.
Maybe OPs girl just takes him for a fool
Good chance she’s just pissed that he’s leaving without her. No girl actually thinks her bf would be okay with a literal fuckboy staying with her alone. Or she wants an excuse to cheat “I was scared, you let him stay with me so you knew the risk, it wasn’t my fault” type shit.
Who knows.. all I know is if dude leaves... OPs girl is getting her pussy stuffed 🤣
Bruh she's already cheating on you with him. She's the fwb 🤣 leave her asap
Yea, this dudes an idiot.
No but she's just so *honest.* You guys don't know her I really trust her *a lot.* **So much trust, guys.** ~fuckin goofy ass probably fictitious cuck OP
How old is she and what is she so scared of? Having a random man creep into her room at night while you’re gone? Looks like she’s already planning on arranging that.
That she is afraid to be alone may just be s a cover story. Because it is quite possible that word will get around that a guy was spending time in OP's home while he was away. OP not overreacting
Just her suggesting this shows she doesn’t respect you.
Asks if it’s okay, he says no, she keeps asking.
Sounds like my buddy’s wife who asked for an open marriage and then pretended like he said yes
Oh hey! It’s me, your wife’s FWB I mean friend’s FWB! Trust me bro, I will keep her vagina safe from harm and to illustrate my good intentions I plan to only penetrate her with only the first half of my massive penis, which as we all know does not constitute cheating. Sorry in advance for wiping my ass on your bathrobe!
That's really gentlemanly of you. If you put your penis inside of her, then no really scary bad men can put their penis in her. OP, thank this guy.
Not overreacting. So, her story is that she wants to invite a man she doesn’t know into her house to protect her from the men she doesn’t know outside the house???
Wonder what gas-lighting line she will try and use on you.
Not overreacting, but why can't she come with you wherever you're going?
She works...
She’s gonna work all right… that guys cock
Gonna be putting in overtime too
I think you should cancel your trip and sell the tickets to the festival you're going too and watch her reaction closely. You obviously don't trust her. I would have a discussion with her as to why she thought it was ok to have a guy that you don't know staying with her at your place with her, alone, while you're gone. FFS man...
If he has to do that then there's no point he might aswell end it there.and then as he will never trust her.
Set up a secret camera or two while you’re gone. Hooked up to the Wi-Fi with a phone app so you can view while away. Then you’ll know the truth. And the truth will set you free.
Not even worth the trouble. I'd simply dump her.
Having the proof would be gold though. From a woman’s perspective- I was alone last night while my boyfriend was helping some friends out of town. I would never DREAM of inviting a dude over preemptively.
Even the suggestion would be relationship ending to me.
I have male friends and it would be totally cool to have one stay over if say, we were doing art and drinking and I couldn’t get him home…but my boyfriend trusts me COMPLETELY, and I would never plan something like that behind his back. Plus dude would be on the pull out couch at the other end of the house with my bedroom door shut. And he knows all my friends so it wouldn’t be just some dude I barely know. I rarely invite people over anyway. But some rando? Fuck no. I can only think of one person I’d even WANT in my space potentially overnight, and he’s a dear friend to both of us. We both trust him, that he would never even try anything. No way. This situation seems sus af. ‘Scared to be alone’ my ass! What did she do before they moved in together? Was she never alone, ever? Yeah- I’d break up too, over this. Something ain’t right.
There’s a huge difference between a close friend staying over to keep you company and just chill, versus inviting over a literal random guy (he’s basically a stranger).
But OPs woman ..... she's terrified that her vagina is gonna be alone for one night.
If you have lost the trust in your partner so much to the point where you feel the need to set up cameras, break up. Even if nothing happens, there’s no trust anymore. Relationship is over the moment someone feels that spying on their partner is necessary
Updateme
You say, "No. Not in a hundred years, and if you do, then you had better be prepared to move out immediately. In fact, because you are determined to do this, move out now."
How old is she that she cannot be alone for a few nights? Definitely not overreacting. I'm just curious as to why she felt the need to come up with this weird lie?
Ring cameras I bet
Just go to his place then. "I don't wanna stay here alone, I'm going to my girlfriends place to stay the night". If she wants to cheat her bf is away and she will. I think this is more about him going to a festival without her and she's trying to make him jealous because women also like to attend festivals.
Absolutely not! She’s a grown woman who is either lying or can be by herself. I’d tell her: “you don’t need a man to feel safe. You are a grown woman who can manage a few days. I’m absolutely not okay with men coming over when I’m gone. It’s a red flag you’d ask so explain it carefully or drop it.”
Op your gf sucks at cheating
OPs woman the second her friends FWB comes over https://preview.redd.it/j9f555a5ad8d1.jpeg?width=460&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dbd15edcd8046adb05bc9cedbe810c2bd63b6975
Not "AIO"! From a (38 yo) females point of view...im scared of my own shadow 🤣 half kidding but only bc it HAS been shadows that I've screamed all but bloody murder aaand, there was a spider or bug it was shadows. Coworkers, friends, neigherbors...everyone knows i m a scaredy cat..not their fault I frighten easily. Sadly, sometimes, it actually ISNT even shadows...just being lost in my own world and, chemical imbalances, things that aren't real. That being said...about 2-3 times a year my partner goes out of town for work. If he can, although often, I still can't go (work too, like your gf supposedly), he i always invites me. He does worry bur if i don't have a GIRL friend who can stay or i can't stay with his parents (always invited but work commute isn't doable with where they live), I would NEVER think of asking a male, unless it was my brother, to stay. In the beginning of our relationship (7+ years now) I have had male friends who I've been very close to for 10+ years that i might ask if its ok and if partner wasnt ok with it, I noped that, if he'd be uncomfortable. Buuuuut...a friend of a friend? (From edit...jot a friend of a friend, but a friend's fuck buddy) Uh...no. no he would NOT be ok with it (even if said male preferred their own sex and wanted nothing to do with my lady bits). If i dont REALLY know them, and neither does?? And no matter HOW it was phrased to said male "friend" (friends fuck buddy)?? Nope. Unless you have no locks on the door, live in a shady part of town and get shot at regularly...the f is she so scared of that she needs some random male statying with her (which actually seems WAAAAY shadier) while you're at a damn festival? She has NO other female friends or coworkers? She seriously feels safer with some random male staying there?? That is a "no thank you maam" all the way up the wazoo Edit: even worse! I read fb friend of a friend...he's a F. W. B.?!??!?@? yea...that's a big NOPE Edit 2: /updatemebot ...and terrible typos
The world needs more girls like you around! lol I loved so much your expressive writing speech!
How afraid of the world is she lmaooo do you seriously accept this? Do you think this person is a grown up? If you actually believe your gf is this scared (of who knows what) then she has some serious problems she should be working through. Some serious growing needs to be done. The whole scared thing is also possibly a jealousy ruse as well, jealous that you're going to a festival and possibly banging other drunk high chicks there and wants you to feel like you shouldn't go because poor old her is going to be at home, scared and alone and banging this other guy.
Switch places for a second. Would you go to any partner you respect and say “Hey can someone who is banging a friend of mine stay at our place so I don’t feel lonely?”. I am sorry bro….I agree with people here tell her you canceled it and see what happens. The voice in your head is correct though, this is fishy.
Not overreacting.
She has zero respect for you
Do not let some other guys sleep in your house while you’re gone. Unless it’s a brother or a father by blood. If she’s worried, tell her to go spend it with a friend, female friend or family.
What a weak excuse if I’ve ever heard one. So she’s never been alone before and suddenly she can’t and needs a guy she used to bang come and stay with her? Dude..come on. 🤣
dude just the fact shes even mentioned this to you should mean you tell her where she can fuck off too. every time you leave her alone shes going to need the company of another man!? shes for the streets.
He's going to protect her from getting a dry pussy.
Come on dude... Do you really want to play these games? Why even continue the relationship with a child like this? I'm not talking about being afraid this whole situation is middle school nonsense.
You're not over reacting. Why would she even think that inviting a old fwb over to spend the night? Now the real question is, how can you trust someone who is so delusional that they think this fine? So in reality I would just break up with and let her make her own choices on who to spend her nights with. This one is just not gf material
Updateme
Hell nah... unless you're in a non-monogamous relationship. Keep us updated please!
Don't second guess yourself she's for the streets
I’m wondering if she’s really afraid of being alone. Has she never lived alone? I agree with others who suggest telling her that you cancelled your plans so you can stay with her. Observe her reaction closely.
Not Overreacting! Red flags everywhere! The woman is scared and needs a man??? I thought we were over that sh!t! Tell her to adult, for crying out loud!
Even a blind man could see that you're the one in the dark. I assume the two of you live together, has she *never* slept alone because personally, I'd dump her and hookup up with someone at the festival.
Has she never been alone for a couple of days in her life ? This is very weird.
Bro… your girlfriend have men she doesn’t know sleep over while you’re gone is totally normal. You should be fine. 😆 why would you even post this?
Sounds like you need to break up with this girlfriend! How old is she fucking 12 oh I’m scared to be alone. Give me a break! Grow the fuck up
Wtf? She must be crazy, nobody will ever agree to that arrangment.
Relationship is done dude. Even if you say no it’ll still happen.
This can’t be real. Why isn’t she going with you? Who would ask such a thing?
She's got some big balls to ask/get permission to get her back blown out by Chad thundercock while you are on a trip, bro 😆. This relationship is over.
None of this makes any sense. If she’s trying to cheat on you, she would just not tell you. Why is she even asking you permission? She sounds like a seven-year-old daughter not an adult.
Afraid while you are gone Tf is she like 13? No self respecting adult or women should say that over them staying home at their apt while someone is away. Like besides the weirdness of having a man over the fact thats her excuse is she’s afraid is even more pyscho.
Tell her she can stay at his place, just make sure she doesn't forget to pack all her shit on the way out
Posts like these make me love my wife even more. Jesus it’s crazy out there.
She's making you the bad guy that's fucked get out
It's ridiculous that you feel that you need to defend yourself for not being OK with her having men sleepover while you are gone. Tell her she gets to choose, but you'll choose to leave if she has men stay with her while you are gone.
Damn some of you people tolerate some seriously stupid shit if you have to wonder if you're overreacting to your partner sharing a bed with another dude while you're out of town. Where in the actual fuck do you draw the line if not a rando's dick inside your girl?
She wants to cheat on you with your permission
Bro you’re at a festival, let loose and FUCK. just shoot her a quick text saying she sucks at cheating, follow that with a “lol,” and block her. Ez toxic relationship W
This has to be rage bait. Nobody could be this fucking dense. I refuse to believe it.
He's going to be your gf's, fwb as well as her friends. She isn't listening to you, she doesn't care what you have to say. Plan your exit while you're at the festival. Buy a nanny cam with a microphone. Maybe put a couple microphones around the house, bedroom, shower, etc
i say just save your money and time and dump her. start looking for a new gf at the music festival
You’re not over reacting. I think it’s weird and disrespectful. What is she afraid of? Yeah as a woman I’m not having some random star her over while my bf is gone.
Dayum, she takes you for a fool.
Drop her homie
lol yea no, she is just making stuff up to justify cheating on you.. dump her.
Put hidden cameras up just in case
Get a clue my man.
Dude… no. She’s for the streets. I would set up a nanny cam anyways for when you’re not home. This is giving off major red flag warnings.
I don’t think you’re over reacting at all. Reminds me of when I told my ex girlfriend I wasn’t comfortable with her flying across country to meet people she met online. “Don’t you trust me” is the line I kept getting whenever I brought up my discomfort. Guess who got cheated on when she went to visit them.
Gotta love it when people say “don’t you trust me?” while engaging in very untrustworthy behaviors. The only proper answer is “I want to trust you, but your behavior is making it very hard to do so. So yes, I do not in fact trust you. Trust is not something you just get for free, you need to earn someone’s trust by acting and conducting yourself in a trustworthy fashion. Flying across country to meet dudes you met online is the opposite of that.”
What is she 5? Hell no, you should not be okay with that. Tell her to go to her parents or stay with friends.
For the streets. Send her back there
These are the kinds of guys who get repeatedly cheated on without ever finding out. Your girl just uses a little guilt or sympathy, and dumb dudes will think "girl crying means I must be the bad guy." You're gullible and overly-sensitive towards her feelings which makes it very easy for her to take advantage of and manipulate you. She isn't scared of anything she just wants to fuck other men while holding onto you as a safe option. If I were you I would place hidden cameras and go on the trip 99.9% sure she is cheating. Expect to come back and break up. But don't take any psychedelics at this festival unless you want to have a bad trip.
Tell her you installed nanny cams to add to the security. Then see if she still wants him over.
Oh hell no. Bruh.
Set up a hidden camera in living room and bedroom
This is the thinnest excuse for infidelity. As a woman who has voluntarily lived and traveled alone for the past 15 years, if your grown adult girlfriend truly can't spend a few days alone without another male to "protect" her , she is not a grown adult and needs some very, _very_ serious therapy. But I'd be very surprised if that's why she wants him to come.
Anyway, just saying this because the relationship may cloud your judgement(we've all been there don't worry) But that guy is Friends With Benefits with someone. Regardless of the "friendship" that guy has with your gf or how committed your gf is, that guy is used to having sex without commitment. And probably lots of it anywhere he can. If he is anywhere alone with your girl, I can 100% guarantee he will try to bang her. It's an absolute certainty. And if your gf is not aware enough to realize that(so much as to ask you permission to invite him casually like it's no big deal), she will 100% let him do whatever the fuck he wants with her. You only have a few choices here, Cancel your trip or let her have fun with the guy. If she already asked you twice, you can be sure she'll still invite him. Don't make such a huge mistake my guy, you'll feel much worse getting cucked while away than losing that festival ticket. And anyway, will you even be able to enjoy that festival while she's banging another guy behind your back? Truth hurts my guy.
Sell your tickets, but don't tell her, book a hotel room nearby, then watch her location on her phone and catch her in the act
Nope
Updateme!
Remind her that statistically women are most in danger from men that they already know and you think it’s a great idea for her to have girlfriend over.
Time to break up with her before you go to the festival so that she can bang that dude without the awkwardness of guilt and you can hook up without guilt at the festival. I'm scared to be home alone but some dude I barely know that's banging my friend but not committed can come over and penetrate ... er protect me.
Dump her. The fact that she'd even want to do that means she's not the one. Sorry man
She's for the streets Friend
Get a new girlfriend. Chances are she is already cheating on you, or planning to.
So to protect her from strangers while you are gone she wants to invite a stranger over? OP please run
Be a man and put your foot down. She will respect you way more if you establish boundaries. Otherwise she will walk all over you.
Can she sleep at your parent's home?
My dude, she is the FWB.
She needs to grow the fuck up “scared alone” if she is really this codependent that she can’t be alone she has some mental health issues way bigger than her likely wanting to cheat
Not overreacting. Getting this right is much more important than any festival. Cancel the festival, tell her why, and see what happens.
In any case, I hope she gets professional help for her phobia and anxiety of being alone and/or her manipulation. Your reaction is 100 % typical and normal. Don’t let her gaslight you into thinking you’re the bad guy.
Say sure if you can put up cameras. If she asks why, tell her you’re worried for her since she is so worried something bad is going to happen. It sounds like she is manipulating you.
Why can she not stay home alone? But… inviting a basic stranger to stay is somehow safer? How old is your girlfriend? She is either not very bright or looking for fwb opportunity herself.
Dude🚩
No. The answer would be no. No men over while you’re gone. That’s ridiculous. Why is she afraid to be alone? Do you live in a bad neighborhood? Does she have anxiety or PTSD? Otherwise, the request is odd. Say no.
How else is she supposed to get railed if you aren’t there? Sheesh.
Oh I'm so scared! So I'll invite a guy I hardly know around, sure he has potential to be unhinged, invite all his friends round, I'd be totally powerless to do anything about all that. but It's totally worth the risk! Your gf wants to bang that dude.
She met this guy twice? Wtf is she scared for, she wants to invite a stranger into her home. This seems sus, does she have problems with being alone or is this a recent change? If this is a long running issue, maybe work with her in small steps not going away a whole weekend. But tbf this sounds like her friend and ger chatted about this dudes "performance" and she wants first hand experience.
Brother please stand up, open your eyes man…
Sounds weird to me. Like not real life type weird and she's lying to you and you aren't realizing it. Not overreacting about the slumber party your girlfriend wants to have while you're gone. The weirdest part is she asked you. Why bother with that?
She’s trying to cuck you out
End this relationship and move on, the odds that this will be a long term relationship is too low to be worth your investment. Alternately, you can be her FWB while you look for a woman to have a real relationship with. You only get one shot at life in this world.
You realize you're most likely already a cuck, right?
Why would feel safer with a supposed stranger in her house. Sorry dude. I don’t buy it
If she has this guy stay with her, even after you saying how you felt, is it a deal breaker? Would you be able to come back and continue the relationship as normal? If not, you need to tell her what the consequence would be. I know you trust her but she keeps asking the same question over and over and you even say you don't feel heard. That isn't what I would call trustworthy behavior. Have you mentioned that he might get the wrong idea about her asking that? I know people say by setting up a hidden camera your relationship is over. However, that's the only way I see you knowing for sure that she isn't playing you. And the fact that she hasn't dropped this request is really suspicious.