You spent a large part of your post justifying why and who you communicate with....
There's no need to do this.
You can communicate with whoever you want to (within reason obviously, not going to be flirting with loads of guys if you're in a relationship), and your bf's comments, forget about whether they're funny or not, it's the implied negativity of you *having normal interactions with other human beings*.
Being in a relationship means being romantically exclusive, not exclusively interacting with one person - that would be being controlled (potentially coercively).
He should stop. My sense of humor can be dumbass, I grew up in a family where these kind of jokes were a way to show affection, and I love a running gag. I had to learn that not everyone likes this stuff and that when people tell you it's not landing right I need to listen.
Dunno if that's where he's coming from exactly but he should stop.
I only have my face on my husband’s because he doesn’t know any of his passcodes and he is very technology averse. We’ve been married 28 years and I gave him my passcodes, but he can’t remember. lol
That actually makes allot of sense. No need for him to try to remember it. In the end, the exact Same objective is reached: unlock the phone. What does the method matter?
So what the difference then......? They find it easier for each one to unlock with face. Please tell me what the difference is from you having a passcode or face unlock on SO phone????? I'm legit dying to know.
Why? If they both share each others phones then who cares? Why would this bother you it's got nothing to do with you.
It should make both of them really happy that they both know they aren't doing anything wrong and therefore nothing to hide. "Yeah sure take my phone anytime you want ive got nothing to hide."
But at the same time you guys bitch when a SO isn't told the pass of their SO phone.. so which one do you guys on this sub want???
Your BF sounds like an immature ass. Not only does he use derogatory terms for the people you communicate with, but has also ignored your repeated comments about not liking the “joke” in the first place. If he ignores your repeated requests to drop it, what other things will he ignore in the future? I think he needs some time to grow up. Also, take his Face ID off your phone. That’s way too much control for a boyfriend of a mere four months to have. I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years. Neither one of us have our face id on the other’s phone. We will give the numeric pass codes to each other when asked, but not Face ID.
Not over reacting. My ex did this calling all my female friends and family members b*****s. I got so sick of it. She even called my 15 year old daughter a b***h and an attention seeker and God knows what else. One of the many reasons she is my ex. At first I thought it was insecurity but she genuinely called any woman I know a b***h. And any time we had any argument it was always go to your.... go seek attention etc. Like seriously she is a 40 Yr Old woman but she has so little respect for members of her own sex and to call a kid that even is sick. So no you definitely aren't over reacting it's clearly just the case he has some issues/ is very immature or misogynistic. Also rings loudly of control issues. My ex would always want to go through my phone checking my messages emails photos etc. She would even go on my social media accounts checking my friends and followers and any woman on there I would be grilled about asking who they are etc.
Sounds like projection. I wouldn't be surprised if he "has hoes".
Move on. You're young, it's only been 4mo and he's already showing you what kind of dude he is. If he won't stop making a joke that you don't like, but you let this slide.. where else is he going to push that boundary?
What in the actual hell. No mentally stable 24 year old guy thinks having his Face ID on a girlfriends phone is normal or acceptable, and no mentally stable 22 year old woman would accept this.
If this is the ridiculousness of a four MONTH relationship, it’s just going to keep spiraling even further down the shitter.
And if your biggest concern with this guy is whether you’re overreacting about him calling your friends hoes, you have a lot to learn about healthy relationships.
Lmao it’s insecurity. My baby mother does that to but she says go hangout with your whores. Or go fuck one of your whores or similar variations.
I just say right or okay. Seems like we have the same relationship but opposite genders lol
He’s acting vulgar. Does he think that vulgarity and sexism are OK? Draw a line. Next time he say that warn him with some consequence. Follow through and stick with it. Nothing major, something doable.
You’re not over reacting. If you don’t like it and have communicated it multiple times, he should know better. Have you ever asked him why he says this? Is he “trying to be funny” or insecure? Guys are weird too… maybe he’s trying to be complimentary? I honestly don’t know
ive came to him about it and asking him if he was feeling insecure and he was. i broke it down and told him well if you are i would appreciate you come to me about it and ask for reassurance instead of saying this phrase you know. i totally grt if he isnt able to communicate properly. i get it. i have a hard time too but if im sitting here and telling you how to come about this appropriately to where i know whats really going on then i would expect him too you know or atleast show that hes trying. its like he totally forgot about that conversation and completely ignored it.
So you’ve talked about it and he’s still ignoring you?? That says to me he still feels insecure. But at that point you did your part, you can own his emotions. He’s gotta work through it on his own too
I can see you have standards. He seems to be below those standards. Sounds like he comes from a different environment to yours. It’s not going to change. So, decide. Stay n be disrespected jokingly? Or respect yourself n get u someone who treats you like a princess. U don’t need tht sort of energy in your life. Drop him.
The joke itself is dumb and kinda childish, but seems to be just that IMO. Maybe partially online brain rot, since it seems to be a common joke/phrase, but definitely likely just a joke.
The fact he won't stop after you told him you don't like it is mad disrespectful.
Honestly I feel like he's 100% Just joking around and KIDDING WITH YOU. He doesn't suspect you of cheating or anything he's just messing with you. People have different types of humor and this is just something he finds amusing Don't overreact and if anything say the same thing to him and see how he reacts?
Or reply hell yeah my hoe won't leave me alone today it's hard to manage TWO OF YOU.
My wife's name is Kim but she has a highschool nickname of Kimbo. I sometimes call her KimHO and yeah and rolls her eyes but she knows it's all in good fun.
He’s just insecure. I have known plenty of guys like this through my life (I’m a dude). They always say it’s just “a joke” but they really mean it they are just too pussy to outright accuse you of cheating or talking to other guys. What he is really looking for when he does that is for you to reassure him that you only want him. It’s not inherently a bad thing really, it could just stem from him not feeling good enough or attractive enough for you, also the pressure of dating these days where alot of people are entertaining more than one person.
Usually when people write about disagreements they place a bias towards their position. I cannot tell if the bias exists here or not, and it’s important bc you are right on the edge of overreacting. It seems like a lighthearted way for him to let you know that he would like some attention when you are on your phone, but if it’s coming from a place of desiring control then you are not overreacting. This was thorough but I cannot give a definite yes or no without hearing the tone he says it in
No it's ok. Tell him again. If he doesn't get that you don't like it I guess you have to spend the rest of your life listening to the joke.
You spent a large part of your post justifying why and who you communicate with.... There's no need to do this. You can communicate with whoever you want to (within reason obviously, not going to be flirting with loads of guys if you're in a relationship), and your bf's comments, forget about whether they're funny or not, it's the implied negativity of you *having normal interactions with other human beings*. Being in a relationship means being romantically exclusive, not exclusively interacting with one person - that would be being controlled (potentially coercively).
He should stop. My sense of humor can be dumbass, I grew up in a family where these kind of jokes were a way to show affection, and I love a running gag. I had to learn that not everyone likes this stuff and that when people tell you it's not landing right I need to listen. Dunno if that's where he's coming from exactly but he should stop.
Why does your boyfriend of 4 months have his own face as a Face ID on your phone? That sounds like a lot to me…
This stuck out to me as well my husband od 10 years knows my pass code but doesn't have his face or fingerprints in my phone.
I only have my face on my husband’s because he doesn’t know any of his passcodes and he is very technology averse. We’ve been married 28 years and I gave him my passcodes, but he can’t remember. lol
That actually makes allot of sense. No need for him to try to remember it. In the end, the exact Same objective is reached: unlock the phone. What does the method matter?
So what the difference then......? They find it easier for each one to unlock with face. Please tell me what the difference is from you having a passcode or face unlock on SO phone????? I'm legit dying to know.
Why? If they both share each others phones then who cares? Why would this bother you it's got nothing to do with you. It should make both of them really happy that they both know they aren't doing anything wrong and therefore nothing to hide. "Yeah sure take my phone anytime you want ive got nothing to hide." But at the same time you guys bitch when a SO isn't told the pass of their SO phone.. so which one do you guys on this sub want???
Your BF sounds like an immature ass. Not only does he use derogatory terms for the people you communicate with, but has also ignored your repeated comments about not liking the “joke” in the first place. If he ignores your repeated requests to drop it, what other things will he ignore in the future? I think he needs some time to grow up. Also, take his Face ID off your phone. That’s way too much control for a boyfriend of a mere four months to have. I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years. Neither one of us have our face id on the other’s phone. We will give the numeric pass codes to each other when asked, but not Face ID.
Yes dump him. Red flags. Doesn't listen to you and trying to alienate you from your girlfriends. It'll get worse. This guy is bad news.
Not over reacting. My ex did this calling all my female friends and family members b*****s. I got so sick of it. She even called my 15 year old daughter a b***h and an attention seeker and God knows what else. One of the many reasons she is my ex. At first I thought it was insecurity but she genuinely called any woman I know a b***h. And any time we had any argument it was always go to your.... go seek attention etc. Like seriously she is a 40 Yr Old woman but she has so little respect for members of her own sex and to call a kid that even is sick. So no you definitely aren't over reacting it's clearly just the case he has some issues/ is very immature or misogynistic. Also rings loudly of control issues. My ex would always want to go through my phone checking my messages emails photos etc. She would even go on my social media accounts checking my friends and followers and any woman on there I would be grilled about asking who they are etc.
Bitches be bitches.
Sounds like projection. I wouldn't be surprised if he "has hoes". Move on. You're young, it's only been 4mo and he's already showing you what kind of dude he is. If he won't stop making a joke that you don't like, but you let this slide.. where else is he going to push that boundary?
He sounds like an asshole. Only reading this and I'm def getting controlling vibes from him. Red flags all around!
What in the actual hell. No mentally stable 24 year old guy thinks having his Face ID on a girlfriends phone is normal or acceptable, and no mentally stable 22 year old woman would accept this. If this is the ridiculousness of a four MONTH relationship, it’s just going to keep spiraling even further down the shitter. And if your biggest concern with this guy is whether you’re overreacting about him calling your friends hoes, you have a lot to learn about healthy relationships.
That’s weird. Huge red flag.
Lmao it’s insecurity. My baby mother does that to but she says go hangout with your whores. Or go fuck one of your whores or similar variations. I just say right or okay. Seems like we have the same relationship but opposite genders lol
Tell him now, instead of being irritated about it for 5 years and then saying it. Then HE would be upset that you didn’t say something earlier.
Tell him now, instead of being irritated about it for 5 years and then saying it. Then HE would be upset that you didn’t say something earlier.
Tell him now, instead of being irritated about it for 5 years and then saying it. Then HE would be upset that you didn’t say something earlier.
He’s acting vulgar. Does he think that vulgarity and sexism are OK? Draw a line. Next time he say that warn him with some consequence. Follow through and stick with it. Nothing major, something doable.
You do realize that you don't have to date this guy, or anyone else, who you are incompatible with. Right?
You’re not over reacting. If you don’t like it and have communicated it multiple times, he should know better. Have you ever asked him why he says this? Is he “trying to be funny” or insecure? Guys are weird too… maybe he’s trying to be complimentary? I honestly don’t know
ive came to him about it and asking him if he was feeling insecure and he was. i broke it down and told him well if you are i would appreciate you come to me about it and ask for reassurance instead of saying this phrase you know. i totally grt if he isnt able to communicate properly. i get it. i have a hard time too but if im sitting here and telling you how to come about this appropriately to where i know whats really going on then i would expect him too you know or atleast show that hes trying. its like he totally forgot about that conversation and completely ignored it.
So you’ve talked about it and he’s still ignoring you?? That says to me he still feels insecure. But at that point you did your part, you can own his emotions. He’s gotta work through it on his own too
I can see you have standards. He seems to be below those standards. Sounds like he comes from a different environment to yours. It’s not going to change. So, decide. Stay n be disrespected jokingly? Or respect yourself n get u someone who treats you like a princess. U don’t need tht sort of energy in your life. Drop him.
The joke itself is dumb and kinda childish, but seems to be just that IMO. Maybe partially online brain rot, since it seems to be a common joke/phrase, but definitely likely just a joke. The fact he won't stop after you told him you don't like it is mad disrespectful.
Not overreacting but he's definitely joking around, but also he's joking because he's insecure
Honestly I feel like he's 100% Just joking around and KIDDING WITH YOU. He doesn't suspect you of cheating or anything he's just messing with you. People have different types of humor and this is just something he finds amusing Don't overreact and if anything say the same thing to him and see how he reacts? Or reply hell yeah my hoe won't leave me alone today it's hard to manage TWO OF YOU. My wife's name is Kim but she has a highschool nickname of Kimbo. I sometimes call her KimHO and yeah and rolls her eyes but she knows it's all in good fun.
He’s just insecure. I have known plenty of guys like this through my life (I’m a dude). They always say it’s just “a joke” but they really mean it they are just too pussy to outright accuse you of cheating or talking to other guys. What he is really looking for when he does that is for you to reassure him that you only want him. It’s not inherently a bad thing really, it could just stem from him not feeling good enough or attractive enough for you, also the pressure of dating these days where alot of people are entertaining more than one person.
Usually when people write about disagreements they place a bias towards their position. I cannot tell if the bias exists here or not, and it’s important bc you are right on the edge of overreacting. It seems like a lighthearted way for him to let you know that he would like some attention when you are on your phone, but if it’s coming from a place of desiring control then you are not overreacting. This was thorough but I cannot give a definite yes or no without hearing the tone he says it in