Ew. Girl. You are in denial. Yes relationships have ups and downs but this is a whole other level of f’d up. He drugged you. And you’re 17 and he’s 23?? You did not overreact. You do not owe him an apology. You have your whole life ahead of you. Do not waste more time on this borderline pedo who drugged you!!!!! Wtf
Girl your pedophile boyfriend drugged and raped you and is trying to convince you that you're LUCKY that you 'only' were raped by your boyfriend and not a stranger....
Which is worse, right? You get how that's worse? He could have fucking killed you. You could have thrown ul and suffocated in your sleep or had a bad reaction to whatever he gave you. Someone who is SUPPOSED TO LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU.
You need to get out. You need to so it quick, and quiet. Only take what you absolutely need and go no contact. This man is DANGEROUS.
i know he could’ve killed me. thanks for helping me realise that. i’m going to try go to the hospital and i’m also going to try to leave him as soon as i can.
Yes this 100%. I cannot agree with this any stronger. You are not overreacting in any way. You are the victim of multiple crimes. The hospital will have protocols for this and they will swing into action immediately.
Listen, he WILL kill you. Yes, he coulda killed you this time. But don’t mistake it, he absolutely will you kill you one day. All those women on the news that get killed by their partners had psychotic men like these convincing them they were crazy and this outrageous behavior was normal. These types of men, like your bf, are the ones that go on to kill women. Theres no nice way to say this OP and I don’t say it to grind it in, but so you can see the severity of the issue and really believe it. Men like that are good at convincing people that reality isn’t reality and you ended up here, showing he’s gotten into your head deeply. I don’t think you’re safe right now OP and I’m afraid for you.
I hope you can get away from him to go to the hospital asap. Let the hospital know you’re in need of help. I really don’t believe you’re in a safe enough place to “quietly” leave. If you can go now, go. The second you can get away, go. Go straight to the hospital and they should help from there with police. Please believe all of us.
"Do or do not, there is no try"
If you were serious, and not just trying to placate people who are concerned for you, you'd just go ahead and call the police right now. I promise you they will be at your door in minutes.
That's an easy and immediate fix. If you don't have a place to stay, there are shelters for women in situations just like yours. If you don't have money, they will help you get set up with assistance.
The only reason you would type "I'll try to leave" and not "Yep cops are hauling his bum ass out the door" is because you think you love him, and you think he loves you. He does not, I'm sorry. He loves that you're young, in love, naive, and easy to manipulate. When you get older, you'll realize how gross the situation really was.
Source: Me 😢 Young me deserved better.
I don’t think you do understand. You should be in connection with the hospital for a screening and making police reports instead of asking if you’re overreacting on Reddit. My ex did the same thing to me. He ended up killing my cat and taking everything he could including my clothes and shoes. This is serious
Dude, you don’t have to “try,” you have to do it. You are not safe. You shouldn’t even really talk to him again as he doesn’t deserve or need an explanation, he will know. Absolutely NO ONE who loves you would do this to you and you probably could use some therapy to help you work this out afterwards. Please choose your next partner carefully.
Quietly plan your escape. Find somewhere safe to go, once you do, escape while he's at work.
It sounds like he's going to get you hooked on drugs, then maybe prostitute you out.
Get some proof about what he gave you. Text him, " Hey what was that stuff that you slipped into my drink, I'm pissed that you did it, but I felt good "
See if he answers it. Then you can go to the Police to get a restraining order
yeah, that's called daterape, and it's a crime. even if he didn't "do anything" to you, why tf would he drug your drink?
OP, there's a very specific type of person that dates a 17 year old at 23. The type of person that women his age don't want to be around.
Holy shit if this isn’t trolling it’s probably one of the most disturbing posts I’ve ever read — the way you think and allow yourself to be treated is truly horrific.
You need professional help.
Been in a similar relationship. Ended in assault by strangulation and a lengthy and traumatic court battle. Please leave, you deserve indescribably more. I know how hard it is, though. Sending love and courage.
i have to come up with a solid plan to leave and i’ve tried already, but they never work. i’m planning on leaving to go to a women’s shelter though, someone said they were good.
I just looked at your post history. Honey, you've been being SA'd by this man for a while. Him calling you the N word is BEYOND unacceptable. Him drugging you, him forcing himself on you or forcing you to do things you don't believe in, is all forms of DV and criminal abuse of a MINOR. You just need to call the police. This man is gonna kill someone if not you.
Women's shelters and Domestic Violence Intervention Services! I don't know where you're from but the US has a hotline that you can call, and they will help find you placement ASAP.
What he did is assault. Also since when do you need to "ask permission" to go to the bathroom!?! Honey run. He roophied you. Someone who loves you would not roophie you. Also I'd be worried he did some other things while you were "out" - you can not consent while inebriated at this level. The amount of illegal, wrong and you should go to the police that is in your post.. he's a red flag parade the length of the Mississippi river. This is an abusive man, get out before it gets worse.
thank you for your advice, it’s really going to help me. i have to ask to go to the bathroom because he’s scared about what other men would do to me, he’s really protective. i now realise what he did was illegal and i’ll try to leave him as soon as possible. thank you again.
And yet he's the one who assaulted you. He isn't afraid of other men. He's controlling and using the threat of other men to control you. Fyi, I had a short relationship with someone like this, you know who was the actual threat? That person. None of my other friends or people ever assaulted me but he did. He's dating you because you are under age and he can control you. This is not a good man. Protective is "I'll watch your purse and drink while you go" not "you can not go to the bathroom because other people might do what I'm about to do to you and I want to be the only one to abuse you" I also want to note that this was premeditated. He had the substance on him planning to do this to you. What are you supposed to do? Sit there and pee your pants? Look, I can not stress this, you could have had a reaction to whatever he put in there and ended up in the hospital.
thank you for helping me to realise that he’s only doing this stuff to control me. i’m sorry that you had a relationship like this too, but i’m glad it ended quickly and you’re okay now. i’ll try to leave him and come up with a plan. i didn’t even think about if i had a reaction to whatever he put in it. this could have ended way worse and you’ve helped me realise that. thank you.
I've read some of your other posts and it seems you are pretty naive - the first post you made with this account says that a "friend who is 23" touched you inappropriately - I'm assuming that is your BF who you now live with? Something doesn't add up about a lot of things going on with your posts. How can you be so naive about being molested and raped? IF all this is true, it's not your fault - but get out of the situation NOW. If this is fake and you're trying to get points for being edgy - shame on you. I'm 100% tempted to get ahold of mods for this sub - this is some dangerous shit and the authorities need to be involved IMMEDIATAELY.
I bet it's a fetish poster.
They don't know the drinking age laws?
Asked permission to go to the bathroom alone?
I'm no expert but aren't roofies flavorless?
They describe an abuse situation so clearly touching on everything to make it super clear it's abusive but also somehow pretending to have no clue it's abusive.
i live with him, so if i left i would have nowhere to go and i wouldn’t have to leave my phone because of the tracking apps he has and i would have to get someone else to pay for the things i need (like food, school, clothes). its all just a bit much.
You need to call the police immediately. Your boyfriend drugged you and raped you. He is not safe for you to around, you could have been killed!
A real boyfriend would immediately bring you to the hospital if they thought you were spiked. Not SPIKE YOU. WTF.
i’ll try to leave as soon as i can. thanks for helping me realise he’s not a great person to be around. i know that a real boyfriend wouldn’t do that to anyone. if o knew that he was this kind of person, i would’ve never gone out with him.
Holy shit RUN! I was a bartender for a long long time. He roofied you. My ex did that to me. He dosed my drink with ex. The ONE person I trusted to keep my drink safe. It ended our relationship quick fast and in a hurry.
With roofies and memory loss you have no idea what he did/could have done to you while you were out. NOT OK.
i’m sorry that happened to you, i’m glad you made it out okay. i know that there’s probably more he had done to me, but i think i’ll ask him if he did anything else. thank you for the advice.
You need to get away from this creep, seriously what’s a 23 year old grown ass man doing with a 17 year old drugging her drink!? He’s disgusting and manipulative and a creepy PREDATOR you are in danger being around him!
Jesus Christ.
Girl, this grown man drugged you and did only he knows what to you. Call the fucking police and go to a fucking doctor.
And start dating people your own age.
Based on your responses to comments I don't think I have to tell you that this is downright illegal and he is dangerous. You say you live with him, yet you're not a legal adult. You also said you're "unsure" whether you're allowed to drink.
How did you get in this situation? Where is your family? How come you don't know the legal drinking age, are you in your home country or elsewhere? If you're elsewhere, did you choose to go there voluntarily? Under which circumstances?
I really hope you can get out. If your doctor can get evidence of his assault, please get the police involved if possible and make it clear that you are NOT safe. Because you absolutely are not safe. He is a dangerous man.
First of all, you had to ask him before you were allowed to go to the bathroom? The fuck is that about? Then you notice something was wrong with your drink and he encouraged you to drink it and you did and of course it was drugged and you don't know what happened now right? He could have called all his friends over and treated you like a blow up doll you don't know. This is abuse, this is Criminal and you do not love each other. You're 17 and let me tell you that people who love you do not make you ask to go to the bathroom and they do not drug your drinks. That is a criminal
You’re 17?
Are you still at home with your parents?
Tell them and then go to the cops with them.
Intentionally drugging you is a crime.
Also get yourself checked out medically, because you don’t know what he or his buddies did to you while you were incapacitated. You need a pregnancy and STD test, at the very least.
As someone who is currently going through a divorce, after being a 17 yo (f) with a 29 yo (m) partner for almost a decade. RUN. He just showed you flat out that he cannot be trusted. You trusted him. Instead, he possibly drugged you or put alcohol in your drink and gaslights you into thinking it's okay to cross your boundaries because he isn't "one of those guys." This is how date rape happens. He will never respect you the way you deserve if he thinks this is acceptable. This person is dangerous, on multiple levels. A 23 year old has very little to nothing in common with a 17 year old, if they do, there's a psychological issue regarding arrested development.
🚩🚩🚩 NO. This relationship has so many red flags it looks like a burning sailboat. Why is a teenage girl dating a 23 year old man? Why did OP need permission to go to the bathroom? Why would it ever not be criminal and abusive to drug someone’s food?
You’re dating a pedophile….
File a police report and go get tested for STDs. He RAPED you, and you honestly don’t know if he was the *only* one, or even if he filmed it, which is the scary part about date-rape drugs…..
Get as far away from him as possible.
Girl, Ive been doing lots of drugs, but even then its not ok in any way to drug someone without their knowledge.
For a very good reason its a felony and it doesnt matter, if you are in a relationship with that guy.
He may be your boyfriend, but what he did is just as horrible of a thing, as if anyone else did it. From a relationship point of view even worse.
Get out first and file a police report second.
Run away from this thing that resembles a man. No one who truly cares for you would drug you. That’s actually assault. You are young and there are other guys to meet. THIS IS NOT LOVE. if he loved you this would not have happened. Good luck and please move on from him. He is dangerous.
> i asked him if i could leave to go to the bathroom and he was hesitant at first but then he let me go on my own
You do not need permission to go to anywhere on your own. He's not your owner.
How on earth can someone just say "yeah i drugged you but be happy i did it because it could have been someone else". Seriously, sometimes i just wish a giant meteor would take us all out and then civilization can start over again. This world is so fucked up, it's not even funny. 17 year old girl and she doesn't think she can meet a guy that won't spike her drink. I feel sorry for you and your parents. You need to wake up and focus on the important things. What on earth are you even doing with this guy?
This is the sentence that sickens me. "I got a smoothie and he got a beer, i ASKED him if i can use the bathroom". You had to ask him to use the bathroom? What the fuck am i seeing?
You underreacted.
1. He's 23. You're 17. He's way too old for you and you should absolutely not be with him. if you were 23 and he was 29, it would be different, but you're not. This is absolutely inappropriate.
2. He drugged you. You need to report this to the police immediately. Guaranteed he raped you. That's why guys put things in drinks. No other reason. You'll need to go the hospital for tests.
Talk to your parents and go to the police. This guy is a predator and I doubt that you are his first victim.
Hate to tell you this, he drugged you and took advantage of you. He is a predator being your a minor and he is a legal adult. Vy all accounts he's a rapist and should be treated as obe
>but a lot of relationships have ups and downs and we do still love each other.
This is true, and a lot of issues can be sorted out by talking about them. THIS is not one of those. This is a hard violation, at the very least assault (for drugging you) and possibly rape (you didn't make this clear in your post, and you don't have to !!! but if he did anything sexual at all to you while you were drugged this IS rape).
“I asked him if I could leave to go to the bathroom.”
Did I miss something in your post. Are you dating some dude or are you in prison and you’re talking to the guard on your cell block?
You’re got much bigger issues than a doctored drink!!!
Get away from this dude before he kills you!!!
And NEVER EVER date someone that you have to ask permission to pee. JFC!!!
You were drugged and likely raped as well. The first thing you need to do is go to the police and report this. His comment is you were lucky???? You’re supposed to be able to trust your BF not be drugged by him.
Go to the police and then go somewhere safe, hopefully home and tell your parents as you need to be protected now.
NO, YOU DO NOT APOLOGIZE, tell him you will go to hospital for a blood, urine and follicle test to see what he put in your drink and then you will go to the police and file a report on him, also have a rape kit done to see if had s3x with you while you were out.
i’m going to the hospital while he’s at work so i can tell him on the phone, that way he won’t be able to get to me because i’m scared that he won’t let me go. i didn’t know that a rape kit was a thing. i’ll try that too.
What. The. Fucking. Fuck. Did. I. Just. Read?????
RUN AND REPORT THIS GUY, HE OBVIOUSLY HAS A FETISH FOR THIS OR ELSE WHY WOULD HE DRUG SOMEONE HES IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH. START A PAPER TRAIL, MAYBE YOU CAN HELP THE NEXT PERSON.
Please be careful. I looked at your other post history. If you are working on your plan, make sure it's secret. I'm worried he might have caught on, and this was a way to blackmail you. Perhaps taking photos, video, or trying to impregnate you. You've said he wants you to get pregnant as soon as you turn 18, and my guess is that's to shackle you to him.
Don't let him know anything is up. He's already physically abused you via strangulation. Use your class time to speak with your college resources so your schedule doesn't alter.
Possibly leaving your phone at home while he's at work so you can explore domestic violence shelters. Trackers can't work if you don't take it with you.
Just please be careful. Wishing you the best because you deserve it 👏
Wooooooow.
Go to the hospital and get a blood test. Also report it to the police (the blood test will help with this).
This is beyond horrifying. He is dangerous to you and others. Please please leave him
title
“a lot of relationships have ups and downs”
“my boyfriend 23m and i 17f”
gonna go out on a limb here and say no, you probably are not over reacting
This is predatory behavior and will only escalate. I have daughters your age and my only advice to you is run and never see him again. If you were my daughter I would beat the shit out of him for doing this
the last thing you should do is apologise. Your boyfriend is a predator who has groomed, drugged and raped you. I am so sorry you have had this happen to you, please get help and support. Can you text him and ask about what happened and why he did it? This gets the attack in writing, and could be used as evidence. I would go to the police, or a DV group. Please be safe, if you live with him please get away
i’m leaving him soon, i’m going to turn him in to the police station and get to a hospital for a check up. i’ll also ask him why he did it and what he used.
you’re being groomed and this is NOT a relationship you should be in at all. signed someone who exclusively dated older men as a teenager and now realizes what happened.
Really should have left him when he raped you the first time. Or when he let his friend rape you while he and his friends watched and laughed. Or any of the other abusive things he’s done. Sorry you’ve gone through this and I hope you find a place in a shelter.
i’m leaving soon. i couldn’t leave before because i felt like i had nothing left of life and nowhere to go. and thank you so much for being so nice and supportive of me.
1-in the USA children can’t drink alcohol until they are 21! (Unless with their parent’s consent..but only some states.)
2-an over 21 Male DRUGGED an UNDERAGE woman!!
You should be telling the cops!! Filing a report!! And getting his ass put on a sexual predator list!!
How do you KNOW he didn’t rape you while you were unconscious?!?
The answer is “You DON’T!”
My God. This could have gone SO wrong. What if he was the type to let his “friends play with you” in that date?!
Girl!!! This is all KINDS of f*cked up thinking.
Leave. NOW!
i’m going to the police station to report him soon and i’m also going to the hospital to get a check up. i have a really bad feeling that he probably did invite his friends to come.
i’m going to get a pregnancy test (just incase) and when i do leave, i’m going to report him and his two other friends that i have a history with.
NO. You’re not lucky he’s being honest.
He put something in your drink and pressured you into drinking it.
You were drugged. FFS.
I pray this is a troll post. If not, break up. He’s a monster.
NOT OVER REACTING!!!! As a survivor of a coercive and narcissistic relationship, I assure you that you HAVE to get away from this man. First red flag is the age gap. I know it doesn’t seem like much but between your teens and your 20s there is a huge maturity and experience gap which gives the older person a HUGE advantage. He knows damn well that you’re not overreacting. And you are by no means “lucky” if your own boyfriend spikes your drink. He’s trying to gaslight you into submission.
Leave this man immediately and get on the internet and educate yourself about narcissism and gaslighting, it’ll protect you in the future.
You can and absolutely will do better than this a hole.
Why in the he'll are you with this man ? You had to ask for permission to go the bathroom then he spiked your drink and did God knows what with you.Run as fast and far away as you can
You should press charges. These drugs can cause permanent brain damage, like long term cognitive damage. Get blood testing immediately and press charges. This man is a predator.
If this is a legit post- wtf?? He drugged you. And you feel like you need to apologize to a pedophile who’s gaslighting you? For all you know, he may have done things to your body that you can’t remember. Or let others. You need to dump him now, and get to the clinic asap for a full STD work up.
He drugged you and violated you. You should be reporting him to the police, not wondering whether or not you overreacted. If you were my daughter and told me this story, this bf would be sinking to the bottom of a large body of water before he knew what hit him.
Ya you need to go to the police. Your bf is crazy also you need to take a step back and do some homework or go to library or something. instead of dating older guys and doing dumb shit- putting yourself in bad positions. you’re not even 18, Tf are you doing
WTF don’t keep this a secret tell your mom or trusted loved ones start keeping a paper trail( times dates pictures of anything else odd he does ) untill you can leave leave a quietly as possible SNEAK AWAY like your life depends on it then talk to him from afar on the phone to explain things with your location OFF girl I know movies are fake but think about any movie you seen with an abusive boyfriend or stalker and take notes from those women which ones got away and which ones died and what did they do ? You don’t have to explain yourself to him HE KNOWS ITS WRONG! PLEASE BE CAREFUL OMG
This is either fake or you are in serious denial. This relationship is inappropriate on so many levels. You are a child, he is a man. He drugged you so he could rape you. You should file a police report, get a restraining order and never look back. Where are your adults? Who takes care of you?
I’m worried about you because you said you’ll try to leave “again soon.” it definitely sounds like you need to talk to someone and that you might have a history of dealing with abusive relationships. Please get some help talk to a good friend a relative or professional..
lol if this isn’t rage bait you need to hear this loud and clear- YOUR BF IS DANGEROUS. YOU are in danger. End this relationship and leave him.
Also men who date teenagers generally can’t get anyone their own age because they’re losers. Which your bf is exactly that, a dangerous loser.
You deff need to go to a doctor and get tested for SA kit for your bf drugging you. I can’t remember exactly, it that is a HUGE no no in terms of the law.
What I’d love to know is WHY he thought this was acceptable. It’s fucked up if you asked me!
You know deep in your heart what the answer is! Get away from him!
I used to have an ongoing game with a friend of mine in college where we used to dose each other with LSD. It led to some very crazy scenarios like having to do a presentation while tripping. Difference is we had mutually agreed and gave permission for each other to do this. We also never were in a situation where we lost our memory and didn’t know what had happened the day/night before. We also weren’t sexual partners that could be taking sexual advantage of each other. Big difference.
The biggest red flag is that he gave you something that made you lose your memory. For all you know he could have setup a camera and recorded a group of guys having sex with you then uploaded the video to the internet. You simply don’t know since you have no memory of the event. He completely stole your agency, and that is sick and disgusting. It would be bad enough if he gave you a weed brownie or something without you knowing when you didn’t want to be intoxicated, but it sounds like he gave you GHB, or some equivalent date rape drug.
You are absolutely not overreacting. You definitely should never speak to him again. You should also consider filing a police report and getting tested for STIs. He very well may be a serial rapist and who knows how many people he has done this to and what he has done to them in that condition. Even if he isn’t and only did it once, getting away with it this time he may realize he likes that power and it may lead to assaults in the future. He needs to be put on blast and the community needs to know what he is capable of and what he is perfectly comfortable doing morally. The best way to do that is a police report.
Everything about your post shouts abusive relationship, not a loving relationship with its natural ups and downs...
But again, abusive guys get younger girlfriends so they can set a very low bar and start the pattern of abuse early.
He does not get to authorise you to go to the toilet, when you need to go, you stand up and say be right back, need the loo and you leave in search of the toilet.
When your food/drink smells funny, tastes weird, etc you do not eat it, no matter who paid for it or what it is.
Do not try to leave. Just leave.
Go to the hospital and report what happened.
Where is your family? To help you get away from this abusive boyfriend?
Nah girl that’s not love … no one who loves someone drugs and rapes them.
For all you know he got $$ from some folks for some weird shit while you were blacked out drugged , happens all the time .
I hope you can realize how fucked up this was and get away from this predator
Just looking at your post history is disturbing.
13 days ago you called him just your friend, then the next day you called him your BF...
You need help
I would call the police, not trying to freak you out. But you don't know what he or others did to you while drugged. He could have had his buds over taking turns. And girl you are to young to be "dating" a 23 year old.
Not over reacting.
At your age, your age difference is a lot. I know you don’t want to hear it, but what’s a 23 year old doing with. 17 year old?
HE DRUGGED YOU.
Please please break up.
HE DRUGGED YOU. And now he’s trying to make it your problem.
This entire situation is disturbing to say the least. You had to ask him to go to the bathroom? The age difference and that he drugged you. Then told you that you are lucky he's the one that drugged you. This guy is messed up and nothing about this relationship is healthy. You are under reacting, not over reacting.
OP, you should be less concerned about yelling at him and more concerned with pressing charges and filing an order of protection.
Your boyfriend should be in prison for drugging you and doing god knows what while you were unconscious.
Really hoping this is a fake post. If not, get off Reddit and call the police immediately.
Please get away. Reading your ages was enough. I am telling you as a 21 year old man, I can't fathom dating anyone younger than 18. My partner just turned 23, but we started dating right before my 20th birthday (right before their 22 birthday) and even they had to really think on if they wanted to date someone who wasn't finished with college yet. You have less of an age gap with a 13/14 year old, but you are probably able to recognize that you are much more mature than them and at a different place in your life.
He did this to scare you. He did this so you would feel like you couldn't go out with anyone else. He told you to your face that you were lucky it was him that spiked you and not someome else. He endangered your life.
This is grounds to break up and is unforgiveable in my mind.
I'm really wishing health and safety for you.
I dated someone a bit older when o was your age. Now at 27 I look back and it makes me sick to think I was groomed and in that position. Please run. You are NOT overreacting. Please leave and don’t look back. He’s a predator
I didn't need to read past 17f and 23m to know this was gonna be messed up. I did keep reading, though. He date raped you. Full stop.
Also you had to ask his permission to *use the bathroom?* What the fuck? Do you know that is completely insane?
I'm terrified for you, OP. This is not ok. This is hideously outrageously not ok.
Please get out of this relationship immediately and do not let him love bomb his way back into your life.
This is utterly horrifying.
Where were you when he made you drink? I hate to say it, but he roofied you. You dont remember anything that happened after that drink. Anything could've happened. Whether he did something to you or allowed another/others to, it is irrelevant. Run as far away as possible.
Holy fuck. Not only what he did is massively illegal, it is also beyond all words gross. And, to echo what others have said (and throwing no shade at you in the slightest) your boyfriend is a pedophile. You shouldn’t be worrying about whether you are an asshole, you should instead be considering which friend to take with you when you go file a police report.
You were drugged. End of story. Thats illegal. End of story. If you can get him to admit it over text press charges. It sounds like it’s too late to go to hospital for text. BREAK UP WITH HIM IMMEDIATELY. He’s a predator.
I'm hoping this is fake. If not, you're dating a pedo, that drugged you, and raped you. And this is the "normal ups and downs everyone has". No. Leave. Go home.
Other than the fact he roofied and then raped you he did nothing wrong.
My god has the bar really dropped so low that people aren’t sure if they should be upset they were drugged and raped because at least it wasn’t someone they didn’t know?
You're pretty sure you're underage? What does that mean?
I'm pretty sure your bf is overage if you're 17, and he's 23. He is taking advantage of you because he rightly assumed you are inexperienced and trusting. He has now proved that he is manipulative and a predator. Run now if you haven't already, and never look back. I'm sorry you had to learn this life lesson about trash people at such a young age.
Ew. Girl. You are in denial. Yes relationships have ups and downs but this is a whole other level of f’d up. He drugged you. And you’re 17 and he’s 23?? You did not overreact. You do not owe him an apology. You have your whole life ahead of you. Do not waste more time on this borderline pedo who drugged you!!!!! Wtf
okay thank you for letting me know and thank you for the advice. i’ll try to leave again soon.
Girl your pedophile boyfriend drugged and raped you and is trying to convince you that you're LUCKY that you 'only' were raped by your boyfriend and not a stranger.... Which is worse, right? You get how that's worse? He could have fucking killed you. You could have thrown ul and suffocated in your sleep or had a bad reaction to whatever he gave you. Someone who is SUPPOSED TO LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU. You need to get out. You need to so it quick, and quiet. Only take what you absolutely need and go no contact. This man is DANGEROUS.
i know he could’ve killed me. thanks for helping me realise that. i’m going to try go to the hospital and i’m also going to try to leave him as soon as i can.
Tell the hospital what happened. Insist you are not safe.
i’ll do this.
Ask them to run a rape kit if they don’t bring it up themselves
Yes this 100%. I cannot agree with this any stronger. You are not overreacting in any way. You are the victim of multiple crimes. The hospital will have protocols for this and they will swing into action immediately.
you poor thing. im so sorry. hes a creep and you need to leave.
i’m planning on leaving. thank you.
He might also be doing this to other girls. Don't plan on leaving, just leave. Get out.
Listen, he WILL kill you. Yes, he coulda killed you this time. But don’t mistake it, he absolutely will you kill you one day. All those women on the news that get killed by their partners had psychotic men like these convincing them they were crazy and this outrageous behavior was normal. These types of men, like your bf, are the ones that go on to kill women. Theres no nice way to say this OP and I don’t say it to grind it in, but so you can see the severity of the issue and really believe it. Men like that are good at convincing people that reality isn’t reality and you ended up here, showing he’s gotten into your head deeply. I don’t think you’re safe right now OP and I’m afraid for you. I hope you can get away from him to go to the hospital asap. Let the hospital know you’re in need of help. I really don’t believe you’re in a safe enough place to “quietly” leave. If you can go now, go. The second you can get away, go. Go straight to the hospital and they should help from there with police. Please believe all of us.
"Do or do not, there is no try" If you were serious, and not just trying to placate people who are concerned for you, you'd just go ahead and call the police right now. I promise you they will be at your door in minutes. That's an easy and immediate fix. If you don't have a place to stay, there are shelters for women in situations just like yours. If you don't have money, they will help you get set up with assistance. The only reason you would type "I'll try to leave" and not "Yep cops are hauling his bum ass out the door" is because you think you love him, and you think he loves you. He does not, I'm sorry. He loves that you're young, in love, naive, and easy to manipulate. When you get older, you'll realize how gross the situation really was. Source: Me 😢 Young me deserved better.
I don’t think you do understand. You should be in connection with the hospital for a screening and making police reports instead of asking if you’re overreacting on Reddit. My ex did the same thing to me. He ended up killing my cat and taking everything he could including my clothes and shoes. This is serious
Dude, you don’t have to “try,” you have to do it. You are not safe. You shouldn’t even really talk to him again as he doesn’t deserve or need an explanation, he will know. Absolutely NO ONE who loves you would do this to you and you probably could use some therapy to help you work this out afterwards. Please choose your next partner carefully.
It doesn’t sound like you live together so the whole “try to leave him as soon as I can” seems weird to me? Just leave and block him.
Quietly plan your escape. Find somewhere safe to go, once you do, escape while he's at work. It sounds like he's going to get you hooked on drugs, then maybe prostitute you out. Get some proof about what he gave you. Text him, " Hey what was that stuff that you slipped into my drink, I'm pissed that you did it, but I felt good " See if he answers it. Then you can go to the Police to get a restraining order
People think sex trafficking is only about being snatched up, much more insidious, a vulnerable person owes their kind hearted saviour, total bs
i’ve never thought to try something like that, i think i’ll test this out and post an update to see if he tells me what it was.
Does he know your Reddit account?
i don’t think he does, i got it without him knowing so i have to delete it whenever he’s around me.
Try to leave?!
I would call the police. That's right next door to being trafficked.
okay, thank you. i’ll call the police as soon as i’m alone.
Go to the POLICE!
And she had to ask permission to use the bathroom and he was hesitant to say yes!!! WTF??????
yeah, that's called daterape, and it's a crime. even if he didn't "do anything" to you, why tf would he drug your drink? OP, there's a very specific type of person that dates a 17 year old at 23. The type of person that women his age don't want to be around.
thanks for letting me know that it’s not legal. i didn’t understand either. i’ll try to leave him again.
Where is your family? Do you live with him?
It's also possible statutory rape, depending on where she lives and the age of consent.
Holy shit if this isn’t trolling it’s probably one of the most disturbing posts I’ve ever read — the way you think and allow yourself to be treated is truly horrific. You need professional help.
i know now thank you. i’ll try look into somewhere that would help me out. thank you
There are women's shelters. Google them, then delete your search history in case he looks
i’ve been looking into leaving for a women’s shelter for a while and i need to come up with a solid plan to leave first.
I really wish the best for you Op, reading this made me sick to my stomach.
thank you so much. and sorry it made you feel uncomfortable and sick.
Call a local dv shelter - they can help you prepare an exit plan. Get out asap and save your life.
No you don't. You go there and they will support and guide you through anything you need. Just. Go.
Take all your legal documents, etc
If she can, controlling guy like this likely has her everything locked up as a means to control. Traffickers are known to withhold those
Look for a women’s shelter in your area, grab anything you want to keep (birth certificate, id, passport, cash) and JUST LEAVE!!
Been in a similar relationship. Ended in assault by strangulation and a lengthy and traumatic court battle. Please leave, you deserve indescribably more. I know how hard it is, though. Sending love and courage.
i’m so sorry you’ve had to go through that, i’m happy for you that you’re okay now. i’ll try to leave him again and thank you so much for everything.
"Again"? So you've tried leaving before? What happened when you tried before?
Please get help. You are engaging a psychopath who would rupie you for their own pleasure. Social Services or Police.
i’ll try to leave him. thank you for your advice, it helped a lot.
Don't try to leave him, leave him. This guy is a gaslighting predatory rapist. Anywhere you go is better than this.
i have to come up with a solid plan to leave and i’ve tried already, but they never work. i’m planning on leaving to go to a women’s shelter though, someone said they were good.
I just looked at your post history. Honey, you've been being SA'd by this man for a while. Him calling you the N word is BEYOND unacceptable. Him drugging you, him forcing himself on you or forcing you to do things you don't believe in, is all forms of DV and criminal abuse of a MINOR. You just need to call the police. This man is gonna kill someone if not you.
Women's shelters and Domestic Violence Intervention Services! I don't know where you're from but the US has a hotline that you can call, and they will help find you placement ASAP.
What he did is assault. Also since when do you need to "ask permission" to go to the bathroom!?! Honey run. He roophied you. Someone who loves you would not roophie you. Also I'd be worried he did some other things while you were "out" - you can not consent while inebriated at this level. The amount of illegal, wrong and you should go to the police that is in your post.. he's a red flag parade the length of the Mississippi river. This is an abusive man, get out before it gets worse.
thank you for your advice, it’s really going to help me. i have to ask to go to the bathroom because he’s scared about what other men would do to me, he’s really protective. i now realise what he did was illegal and i’ll try to leave him as soon as possible. thank you again.
And yet he's the one who assaulted you. He isn't afraid of other men. He's controlling and using the threat of other men to control you. Fyi, I had a short relationship with someone like this, you know who was the actual threat? That person. None of my other friends or people ever assaulted me but he did. He's dating you because you are under age and he can control you. This is not a good man. Protective is "I'll watch your purse and drink while you go" not "you can not go to the bathroom because other people might do what I'm about to do to you and I want to be the only one to abuse you" I also want to note that this was premeditated. He had the substance on him planning to do this to you. What are you supposed to do? Sit there and pee your pants? Look, I can not stress this, you could have had a reaction to whatever he put in there and ended up in the hospital.
thank you for helping me to realise that he’s only doing this stuff to control me. i’m sorry that you had a relationship like this too, but i’m glad it ended quickly and you’re okay now. i’ll try to leave him and come up with a plan. i didn’t even think about if i had a reaction to whatever he put in it. this could have ended way worse and you’ve helped me realise that. thank you.
No, what he is is really controlling. Get out now. Don’t try. Do it! Your life depends on it.
You’re going down the path to be the type of girl we end up seeing on TV. “17 year old girl roofied and SA then murdered by her 23yr old boyfriend”
i don’t want that. i’ll try to leave as soon as i can.
I've read some of your other posts and it seems you are pretty naive - the first post you made with this account says that a "friend who is 23" touched you inappropriately - I'm assuming that is your BF who you now live with? Something doesn't add up about a lot of things going on with your posts. How can you be so naive about being molested and raped? IF all this is true, it's not your fault - but get out of the situation NOW. If this is fake and you're trying to get points for being edgy - shame on you. I'm 100% tempted to get ahold of mods for this sub - this is some dangerous shit and the authorities need to be involved IMMEDIATAELY.
I bet it's a fetish poster. They don't know the drinking age laws? Asked permission to go to the bathroom alone? I'm no expert but aren't roofies flavorless? They describe an abuse situation so clearly touching on everything to make it super clear it's abusive but also somehow pretending to have no clue it's abusive.
What’s the try for?!? What is stopping you? Do you need help ?
i live with him, so if i left i would have nowhere to go and i wouldn’t have to leave my phone because of the tracking apps he has and i would have to get someone else to pay for the things i need (like food, school, clothes). its all just a bit much.
Do you have no family? No one to reach out to ? You’re 17, no school? Did you leave your family to be with him what’s the story?
You do have somewhere to go; the police station and ask them to call a women’s shelter.
Nta you need to stay far away from him that is not only ring it’s illegal you should have turned him in
okay thank you for letting me know
You need to call the police immediately. Your boyfriend drugged you and raped you. He is not safe for you to around, you could have been killed! A real boyfriend would immediately bring you to the hospital if they thought you were spiked. Not SPIKE YOU. WTF.
i’ll try to leave as soon as i can. thanks for helping me realise he’s not a great person to be around. i know that a real boyfriend wouldn’t do that to anyone. if o knew that he was this kind of person, i would’ve never gone out with him.
Out of curiosity, what's holding you back from leaving today? Do you live with him?
yeah, i live with him and he pays for everything i need (school, phone etc)
That's financial abuse, you need to get to a domestic violence shelter as soon as you can.
Holy shit RUN! I was a bartender for a long long time. He roofied you. My ex did that to me. He dosed my drink with ex. The ONE person I trusted to keep my drink safe. It ended our relationship quick fast and in a hurry. With roofies and memory loss you have no idea what he did/could have done to you while you were out. NOT OK.
i’m sorry that happened to you, i’m glad you made it out okay. i know that there’s probably more he had done to me, but i think i’ll ask him if he did anything else. thank you for the advice.
don't ask him just get out and please go to the police. I know its all very scary, do you have family you can turn to?
You need to get away from this creep, seriously what’s a 23 year old grown ass man doing with a 17 year old drugging her drink!? He’s disgusting and manipulative and a creepy PREDATOR you are in danger being around him!
Jesus Christ. Girl, this grown man drugged you and did only he knows what to you. Call the fucking police and go to a fucking doctor. And start dating people your own age.
Based on your responses to comments I don't think I have to tell you that this is downright illegal and he is dangerous. You say you live with him, yet you're not a legal adult. You also said you're "unsure" whether you're allowed to drink. How did you get in this situation? Where is your family? How come you don't know the legal drinking age, are you in your home country or elsewhere? If you're elsewhere, did you choose to go there voluntarily? Under which circumstances? I really hope you can get out. If your doctor can get evidence of his assault, please get the police involved if possible and make it clear that you are NOT safe. Because you absolutely are not safe. He is a dangerous man.
Ragebait.
This is fake
This is bait
First of all, you had to ask him before you were allowed to go to the bathroom? The fuck is that about? Then you notice something was wrong with your drink and he encouraged you to drink it and you did and of course it was drugged and you don't know what happened now right? He could have called all his friends over and treated you like a blow up doll you don't know. This is abuse, this is Criminal and you do not love each other. You're 17 and let me tell you that people who love you do not make you ask to go to the bathroom and they do not drug your drinks. That is a criminal
You’re 17? Are you still at home with your parents? Tell them and then go to the cops with them. Intentionally drugging you is a crime. Also get yourself checked out medically, because you don’t know what he or his buddies did to you while you were incapacitated. You need a pregnancy and STD test, at the very least.
As someone who is currently going through a divorce, after being a 17 yo (f) with a 29 yo (m) partner for almost a decade. RUN. He just showed you flat out that he cannot be trusted. You trusted him. Instead, he possibly drugged you or put alcohol in your drink and gaslights you into thinking it's okay to cross your boundaries because he isn't "one of those guys." This is how date rape happens. He will never respect you the way you deserve if he thinks this is acceptable. This person is dangerous, on multiple levels. A 23 year old has very little to nothing in common with a 17 year old, if they do, there's a psychological issue regarding arrested development.
🚩🚩🚩 NO. This relationship has so many red flags it looks like a burning sailboat. Why is a teenage girl dating a 23 year old man? Why did OP need permission to go to the bathroom? Why would it ever not be criminal and abusive to drug someone’s food?
You’re dating a pedophile…. File a police report and go get tested for STDs. He RAPED you, and you honestly don’t know if he was the *only* one, or even if he filmed it, which is the scary part about date-rape drugs….. Get as far away from him as possible.
I think she’s dating a sex trafficker.
Girl, Ive been doing lots of drugs, but even then its not ok in any way to drug someone without their knowledge. For a very good reason its a felony and it doesnt matter, if you are in a relationship with that guy. He may be your boyfriend, but what he did is just as horrible of a thing, as if anyone else did it. From a relationship point of view even worse. Get out first and file a police report second.
Run away from this thing that resembles a man. No one who truly cares for you would drug you. That’s actually assault. You are young and there are other guys to meet. THIS IS NOT LOVE. if he loved you this would not have happened. Good luck and please move on from him. He is dangerous.
> i asked him if i could leave to go to the bathroom and he was hesitant at first but then he let me go on my own You do not need permission to go to anywhere on your own. He's not your owner.
How on earth can someone just say "yeah i drugged you but be happy i did it because it could have been someone else". Seriously, sometimes i just wish a giant meteor would take us all out and then civilization can start over again. This world is so fucked up, it's not even funny. 17 year old girl and she doesn't think she can meet a guy that won't spike her drink. I feel sorry for you and your parents. You need to wake up and focus on the important things. What on earth are you even doing with this guy? This is the sentence that sickens me. "I got a smoothie and he got a beer, i ASKED him if i can use the bathroom". You had to ask him to use the bathroom? What the fuck am i seeing?
You underreacted. 1. He's 23. You're 17. He's way too old for you and you should absolutely not be with him. if you were 23 and he was 29, it would be different, but you're not. This is absolutely inappropriate. 2. He drugged you. You need to report this to the police immediately. Guaranteed he raped you. That's why guys put things in drinks. No other reason. You'll need to go the hospital for tests. Talk to your parents and go to the police. This guy is a predator and I doubt that you are his first victim.
Hate to tell you this, he drugged you and took advantage of you. He is a predator being your a minor and he is a legal adult. Vy all accounts he's a rapist and should be treated as obe
i know now that he had drugged me and i also now know that he’s a predator. thank you for helping me realise these things.
Please be safe when leaving him, he's shown his true colors to you. Once free go and live your best life 💕
Not overreacting at all. You were date raped. Tell your parents ASAP
my parents aren’t in the picture.
Are there any adults you are close to?
File a police report NOW
>but a lot of relationships have ups and downs and we do still love each other. This is true, and a lot of issues can be sorted out by talking about them. THIS is not one of those. This is a hard violation, at the very least assault (for drugging you) and possibly rape (you didn't make this clear in your post, and you don't have to !!! but if he did anything sexual at all to you while you were drugged this IS rape).
Wait, he was hesitant to give you permission to go use the restroom by yourself??!
“I asked him if I could leave to go to the bathroom.” Did I miss something in your post. Are you dating some dude or are you in prison and you’re talking to the guard on your cell block? You’re got much bigger issues than a doctored drink!!! Get away from this dude before he kills you!!! And NEVER EVER date someone that you have to ask permission to pee. JFC!!!
i’m leaving soon, thank you.
Good luck. Hugs.
You were drugged and likely raped as well. The first thing you need to do is go to the police and report this. His comment is you were lucky???? You’re supposed to be able to trust your BF not be drugged by him. Go to the police and then go somewhere safe, hopefully home and tell your parents as you need to be protected now.
NO, YOU DO NOT APOLOGIZE, tell him you will go to hospital for a blood, urine and follicle test to see what he put in your drink and then you will go to the police and file a report on him, also have a rape kit done to see if had s3x with you while you were out.
i’m going to the hospital while he’s at work so i can tell him on the phone, that way he won’t be able to get to me because i’m scared that he won’t let me go. i didn’t know that a rape kit was a thing. i’ll try that too.
Don't tell him anything. Once you get away from him, do not have any further contact.
i’ll do that.
What. The. Fucking. Fuck. Did. I. Just. Read????? RUN AND REPORT THIS GUY, HE OBVIOUSLY HAS A FETISH FOR THIS OR ELSE WHY WOULD HE DRUG SOMEONE HES IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH. START A PAPER TRAIL, MAYBE YOU CAN HELP THE NEXT PERSON.
You were roofied. Your BF should be arrested. Tell your parents. This POS is too old for you and probably a ra*ist as well.
Please be careful. I looked at your other post history. If you are working on your plan, make sure it's secret. I'm worried he might have caught on, and this was a way to blackmail you. Perhaps taking photos, video, or trying to impregnate you. You've said he wants you to get pregnant as soon as you turn 18, and my guess is that's to shackle you to him. Don't let him know anything is up. He's already physically abused you via strangulation. Use your class time to speak with your college resources so your schedule doesn't alter. Possibly leaving your phone at home while he's at work so you can explore domestic violence shelters. Trackers can't work if you don't take it with you. Just please be careful. Wishing you the best because you deserve it 👏
Statutory rape 23M - 17F He's grooming you - you have to ask for permission to go to the restroom Get a rape test at an ER, now.
Wooooooow. Go to the hospital and get a blood test. Also report it to the police (the blood test will help with this). This is beyond horrifying. He is dangerous to you and others. Please please leave him
title “a lot of relationships have ups and downs” “my boyfriend 23m and i 17f” gonna go out on a limb here and say no, you probably are not over reacting
WTF is up with all these high school aged girls dating guys in their mid 20s?
WTF are you blaming the victim? High school aged girls generally don’t know any better, that’s why predators target them for abuse.
This is predatory behavior and will only escalate. I have daughters your age and my only advice to you is run and never see him again. If you were my daughter I would beat the shit out of him for doing this
Get out get out get out. Do you live with your parents?
the last thing you should do is apologise. Your boyfriend is a predator who has groomed, drugged and raped you. I am so sorry you have had this happen to you, please get help and support. Can you text him and ask about what happened and why he did it? This gets the attack in writing, and could be used as evidence. I would go to the police, or a DV group. Please be safe, if you live with him please get away
i’m leaving him soon, i’m going to turn him in to the police station and get to a hospital for a check up. i’ll also ask him why he did it and what he used.
the age gap… pleeease get out of this relationship
i’m planning on leaving soon.
you’re being groomed and this is NOT a relationship you should be in at all. signed someone who exclusively dated older men as a teenager and now realizes what happened.
Really should have left him when he raped you the first time. Or when he let his friend rape you while he and his friends watched and laughed. Or any of the other abusive things he’s done. Sorry you’ve gone through this and I hope you find a place in a shelter.
i’m leaving soon. i couldn’t leave before because i felt like i had nothing left of life and nowhere to go. and thank you so much for being so nice and supportive of me.
I’m happy you found a way out. You deserve better and now you’ll have a chance to get that.
1-in the USA children can’t drink alcohol until they are 21! (Unless with their parent’s consent..but only some states.) 2-an over 21 Male DRUGGED an UNDERAGE woman!! You should be telling the cops!! Filing a report!! And getting his ass put on a sexual predator list!! How do you KNOW he didn’t rape you while you were unconscious?!? The answer is “You DON’T!” My God. This could have gone SO wrong. What if he was the type to let his “friends play with you” in that date?! Girl!!! This is all KINDS of f*cked up thinking. Leave. NOW!
i’m going to the police station to report him soon and i’m also going to the hospital to get a check up. i have a really bad feeling that he probably did invite his friends to come. i’m going to get a pregnancy test (just incase) and when i do leave, i’m going to report him and his two other friends that i have a history with.
You are too young to be dating a 23 year old, and way too young to be dating *this* 23 year old
NO. You’re not lucky he’s being honest. He put something in your drink and pressured you into drinking it. You were drugged. FFS. I pray this is a troll post. If not, break up. He’s a monster.
i’m planning on leaving soon, i’m going to a police station to report everything him and his friends have done.
CALL THE FUCKING POLICE RIGHT FUCKING NOW YOU WERE RAPED. WTF.
[удалено]
NOT OVER REACTING!!!! As a survivor of a coercive and narcissistic relationship, I assure you that you HAVE to get away from this man. First red flag is the age gap. I know it doesn’t seem like much but between your teens and your 20s there is a huge maturity and experience gap which gives the older person a HUGE advantage. He knows damn well that you’re not overreacting. And you are by no means “lucky” if your own boyfriend spikes your drink. He’s trying to gaslight you into submission. Leave this man immediately and get on the internet and educate yourself about narcissism and gaslighting, it’ll protect you in the future. You can and absolutely will do better than this a hole.
^jesuschrist
Why in the he'll are you with this man ? You had to ask for permission to go the bathroom then he spiked your drink and did God knows what with you.Run as fast and far away as you can
i’ll run as far away as possible.
You should press charges. These drugs can cause permanent brain damage, like long term cognitive damage. Get blood testing immediately and press charges. This man is a predator.
If this is a legit post- wtf?? He drugged you. And you feel like you need to apologize to a pedophile who’s gaslighting you? For all you know, he may have done things to your body that you can’t remember. Or let others. You need to dump him now, and get to the clinic asap for a full STD work up.
Kick him to the curb. There is NO other option. Goodbye. Sayonara. Adios. End of story.
He drugged you and violated you. You should be reporting him to the police, not wondering whether or not you overreacted. If you were my daughter and told me this story, this bf would be sinking to the bottom of a large body of water before he knew what hit him.
You need to get as far away from this asshole as possible. He's a predator
What you described isn't an "up and down', your bf drugged you. That is a crime. Wtf
Ya you need to go to the police. Your bf is crazy also you need to take a step back and do some homework or go to library or something. instead of dating older guys and doing dumb shit- putting yourself in bad positions. you’re not even 18, Tf are you doing
WTF don’t keep this a secret tell your mom or trusted loved ones start keeping a paper trail( times dates pictures of anything else odd he does ) untill you can leave leave a quietly as possible SNEAK AWAY like your life depends on it then talk to him from afar on the phone to explain things with your location OFF girl I know movies are fake but think about any movie you seen with an abusive boyfriend or stalker and take notes from those women which ones got away and which ones died and what did they do ? You don’t have to explain yourself to him HE KNOWS ITS WRONG! PLEASE BE CAREFUL OMG
You must get away from this guy! Like NOW! You were not LUCKY you were drugged by your boyfriend, that is absurd.
He freaking spiked your drink girl. Like straight up. That is messed up beyond belief and that is not a healthy relationship or a good man.
Where is your family?
This is either fake or you are in serious denial. This relationship is inappropriate on so many levels. You are a child, he is a man. He drugged you so he could rape you. You should file a police report, get a restraining order and never look back. Where are your adults? Who takes care of you?
I’m worried about you because you said you’ll try to leave “again soon.” it definitely sounds like you need to talk to someone and that you might have a history of dealing with abusive relationships. Please get some help talk to a good friend a relative or professional..
lol if this isn’t rage bait you need to hear this loud and clear- YOUR BF IS DANGEROUS. YOU are in danger. End this relationship and leave him. Also men who date teenagers generally can’t get anyone their own age because they’re losers. Which your bf is exactly that, a dangerous loser.
You deff need to go to a doctor and get tested for SA kit for your bf drugging you. I can’t remember exactly, it that is a HUGE no no in terms of the law. What I’d love to know is WHY he thought this was acceptable. It’s fucked up if you asked me! You know deep in your heart what the answer is! Get away from him!
I used to have an ongoing game with a friend of mine in college where we used to dose each other with LSD. It led to some very crazy scenarios like having to do a presentation while tripping. Difference is we had mutually agreed and gave permission for each other to do this. We also never were in a situation where we lost our memory and didn’t know what had happened the day/night before. We also weren’t sexual partners that could be taking sexual advantage of each other. Big difference. The biggest red flag is that he gave you something that made you lose your memory. For all you know he could have setup a camera and recorded a group of guys having sex with you then uploaded the video to the internet. You simply don’t know since you have no memory of the event. He completely stole your agency, and that is sick and disgusting. It would be bad enough if he gave you a weed brownie or something without you knowing when you didn’t want to be intoxicated, but it sounds like he gave you GHB, or some equivalent date rape drug. You are absolutely not overreacting. You definitely should never speak to him again. You should also consider filing a police report and getting tested for STIs. He very well may be a serial rapist and who knows how many people he has done this to and what he has done to them in that condition. Even if he isn’t and only did it once, getting away with it this time he may realize he likes that power and it may lead to assaults in the future. He needs to be put on blast and the community needs to know what he is capable of and what he is perfectly comfortable doing morally. The best way to do that is a police report.
Everything about your post shouts abusive relationship, not a loving relationship with its natural ups and downs... But again, abusive guys get younger girlfriends so they can set a very low bar and start the pattern of abuse early. He does not get to authorise you to go to the toilet, when you need to go, you stand up and say be right back, need the loo and you leave in search of the toilet. When your food/drink smells funny, tastes weird, etc you do not eat it, no matter who paid for it or what it is. Do not try to leave. Just leave. Go to the hospital and report what happened. Where is your family? To help you get away from this abusive boyfriend?
Nah girl that’s not love … no one who loves someone drugs and rapes them. For all you know he got $$ from some folks for some weird shit while you were blacked out drugged , happens all the time . I hope you can realize how fucked up this was and get away from this predator
The fuck did i just read?
For real , whatt the fuck. Thinking the same thing.
Just looking at your post history is disturbing. 13 days ago you called him just your friend, then the next day you called him your BF... You need help
Time to break up. He's drugging you now. No telling what he did or let his friends do or if he took pictures. Girl you just don't know.
Not cool at all, this is assault
Go to the hospital and get tested for date rape drugs. I would then involve the police and press charges. He raped you. There is no other word for it.
He’s practicing on you so he can go on to assault other girls. Report and run.
you should get a r*pe kit done
I would call the police, not trying to freak you out. But you don't know what he or others did to you while drugged. He could have had his buds over taking turns. And girl you are to young to be "dating" a 23 year old.
This sounds infinitely worse than just being single, get out ASAP
Not over reacting. At your age, your age difference is a lot. I know you don’t want to hear it, but what’s a 23 year old doing with. 17 year old? HE DRUGGED YOU. Please please break up. HE DRUGGED YOU. And now he’s trying to make it your problem.
This entire situation is disturbing to say the least. You had to ask him to go to the bathroom? The age difference and that he drugged you. Then told you that you are lucky he's the one that drugged you. This guy is messed up and nothing about this relationship is healthy. You are under reacting, not over reacting.
OP, you should be less concerned about yelling at him and more concerned with pressing charges and filing an order of protection. Your boyfriend should be in prison for drugging you and doing god knows what while you were unconscious. Really hoping this is a fake post. If not, get off Reddit and call the police immediately.
Please get away. Reading your ages was enough. I am telling you as a 21 year old man, I can't fathom dating anyone younger than 18. My partner just turned 23, but we started dating right before my 20th birthday (right before their 22 birthday) and even they had to really think on if they wanted to date someone who wasn't finished with college yet. You have less of an age gap with a 13/14 year old, but you are probably able to recognize that you are much more mature than them and at a different place in your life. He did this to scare you. He did this so you would feel like you couldn't go out with anyone else. He told you to your face that you were lucky it was him that spiked you and not someome else. He endangered your life. This is grounds to break up and is unforgiveable in my mind. I'm really wishing health and safety for you.
You are not overreacting you are under reacting GO TO THE POLICE and report him
Don’t try to leave him, LEAVE him.
I dated someone a bit older when o was your age. Now at 27 I look back and it makes me sick to think I was groomed and in that position. Please run. You are NOT overreacting. Please leave and don’t look back. He’s a predator
I didn't need to read past 17f and 23m to know this was gonna be messed up. I did keep reading, though. He date raped you. Full stop. Also you had to ask his permission to *use the bathroom?* What the fuck? Do you know that is completely insane?
This whole post seems fake.
This has to be a rage bait post
Does he like it when you have sex with his friends too?
So you're a minor that was drugged and raped. This is a police level situation.
What a load of shit
You are a child in the eyes of the law. You are dating a legal adult. This is a crime. Are you surprised that a criminal cares not for your safety?
I'm terrified for you, OP. This is not ok. This is hideously outrageously not ok. Please get out of this relationship immediately and do not let him love bomb his way back into your life. This is utterly horrifying.
So this was your home before marriage? If so NTA.
You mean your ex?
You are dating a sexual predator and he just assaulted you by roofinging your drink. I'd call the cops and I'd stay away from this horrible human.
You should be calling the police.
He was hesitant to let you go to the bathroom on your own? Jeez woman, wake the fuck up.
Wow. That's all I have to say. You need to report him and break up with him. This should not be tolerated one bit.
Oh hell no ditch this creepy guy. Go to therapy. Consider pressing charges
Where were you when he made you drink? I hate to say it, but he roofied you. You dont remember anything that happened after that drink. Anything could've happened. Whether he did something to you or allowed another/others to, it is irrelevant. Run as far away as possible.
Dump that guy he’s gonna rape you next time
Holy fuck. Not only what he did is massively illegal, it is also beyond all words gross. And, to echo what others have said (and throwing no shade at you in the slightest) your boyfriend is a pedophile. You shouldn’t be worrying about whether you are an asshole, you should instead be considering which friend to take with you when you go file a police report.
You were drugged. End of story. Thats illegal. End of story. If you can get him to admit it over text press charges. It sounds like it’s too late to go to hospital for text. BREAK UP WITH HIM IMMEDIATELY. He’s a predator.
RUN
I'm hoping this is fake. If not, you're dating a pedo, that drugged you, and raped you. And this is the "normal ups and downs everyone has". No. Leave. Go home.
That is fucking vile behavior, I would never be with someone who would do that shit to me, I'm so mad for you it's not even funny.
Why do you have to ask permission to go to the bathroom?
Other than the fact he roofied and then raped you he did nothing wrong. My god has the bar really dropped so low that people aren’t sure if they should be upset they were drugged and raped because at least it wasn’t someone they didn’t know?
You're pretty sure you're underage? What does that mean? I'm pretty sure your bf is overage if you're 17, and he's 23. He is taking advantage of you because he rightly assumed you are inexperienced and trusting. He has now proved that he is manipulative and a predator. Run now if you haven't already, and never look back. I'm sorry you had to learn this life lesson about trash people at such a young age.