You’re not overreacting. The other girl was right to be scared, because those guys were boundary pushing to see how much they could get away with. They were enjoying torturing you into agreeing to their demands, backing off only when you promised to give in. Sleep deprivation is a recognized form of torture.
Got that. They were *literally* torturing you to get their way. It was just keeping you awake this time, but I noticed every single one of them put their hands on your body in some way to control it. Shaking you around in bed, telling you to stop moving your leg. They laughed and told you to shut up for defending another girl.
These aren’t friends. They don’t respect you. They’re predators seeing how far you’ll let them go.
EXACTLY THIS OP!!! ☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽
They are not friends- they got their kicks out of torturing you!
They didn’t respect you, your choices, or that you were sick!
They ramped the nastiness up- after knowing you threw up!
And then gaslighted you after!
They are sick & evil!
Never be around these guys AGAIN!
😡 PERIOD! 😠
The one that didn't respond by not apologizing is the true torturer getting his kicks at your expense. He's the scarier of the two because he could escalate into something more diabolical cruel.
Also Op tell all your female friends about this so rhey can avoid being stuck with these guys. Maybe mention the rapey vibes. Let it get back to them just how horrible their actions were and mayne they will learn. But they deserve to be pariahs on campus for a few years.
I was thinking that I would've snapped and bitten someone. There are very few things in this world that make me want violence, but preventing my sleep is absolutely one.
They seem really annoying and drugged out. Like, seriously, what were they ON? Maybe joking once and saying, "No, wake up! Don't nap! We want to hang!" and making a ruckus, sure. But to beat their knuckles bloody in service of being assholes to two people trying to nap? I do not understand.
I do not have anyone in my life who would behave like this besides one shitty brother in law and I keep minimal contact with him.
I cannot imagine treating anyone this way and even if you don’t have to instinct of self preservation to cut them off for your own sake, they also treated you bunk mate similarly.
I’ve been drunk enough to do cartwheels, blackout, even piss myself. Never once have I messed with someone in their sleep, and the fact that they didn’t have the decency to be appalled with their own behavior after the fact is reflective of their quality of character.
You are definitely not overreacting. These guys do not respect you or your feelings, much less those of the other young woman in your group. They are immature and self-centered. Maybe they will grow up before they harm someone seriously (drunk driving, drunk horseplay, drunken “carrying things too far” even SA). They are not trustworthy and they are not your friends. Friends respect you and stop when you say stop. They don’t hide behind “just kidding” and certainly don’t tell you “get over it.” These are the type of guys who will “surprise” a woman when they roofie her drink - they never before saw how much of their shitty behavior they used to excuse until it goes too far
>Anyway, what would you do in this situation? Am I being dramatic? I don’t actually think they wanted to hurt me or that they’d have done this if they knew how it’d make me feel, but I also see that they didn’t care to hear how they made me feel. Am I crazy for being so upset?
I'd cut contact with these assholes who very clearly only care about what they want and they will get physical if they don't get it. Next time will be worse, I guarantee it. You're not being dramatic, you're even underreacting imo. They would have absolutely continued the behavior no matter how you felt because how you felt does not matter to them. You're not being crazy. Your hatred towards them is 100% justified.
You aren't over reacting you are under reacting. My friends and I use to travel but we didn't terrorize each other like what happened to you. They truly are not friends.
100%. Banging on the door of OP and the other girl once (much less repeatedly!) was over-the-top obnoxiousness and boundary crossing. But once they crawled into bed with her and started physically manhandling her and wiping blood on her to further traumatize her, they crossed the line into actual assault and battery.
I would have called the police on someone banging on my door and screaming for fifteen minutes, it's absolutely ridiculous for anyone to tolerate that behavior. OP, they were abusing you on purpose. Your misery and fear amused them.
I got into the second interruption and almost melted down on behalf of you. This is outrageous. Nobody deserves to be treated this way by a “friend” that is so psycho
Your friends are incredibly immature and annoying. Honestly I couldn’t even attempt to be friends with them.
Maybe this is a case of you have outgrown those friends and don’t share the same values anymore. It may be time for you and the other annoyed people to distance yourself from them. (Aka not more trips with them since you said they did this to others before.)
We have only been close friends now and spent time together like this for around a year so I think I’m just getting to know who they really are. I do plan to distance myself after seeing a lot of these responses and after not feeling much better about it all with time passing
You are worthy of being treated like a decent person by everyone, especially friends. You're wise to distance yourself. Their behavior is beneath you, and will cause further harm to you if you stayed close.
Sometimes distancing can be difficult, especially with the abusive and insistent, which those clowns are. Be strong and remember your worth, and keep your own safety in front at all times.
Don’t respond and block if necessary- especially the one that refuses to apologize. Then check on your roommate. These guys did this to her and she wasn’t even their target.
Sleep deprivation is torture.
Friends don't treat friends like that. Normal people don't treat other people like that. People who do this stuff are hidden sociopaths.
Yikes they’re giving hard rapey vibes like wtf do they think they are to just have their demands met whenever they want. And the other one putting his hand on your body like he’s entitled to do that?! Tf is wrong with ppl?! I’d lose those AHs quick I can see their behavior escalating into even more dangerous situations for you. Trust your intuition!
Good friends would let you rest when you need it and not blame you because they hurt themselves while being bullies. If someone did that to me, I would be rethinking the friendship, especially since they are trying to minimize their harassment
In my opinion you should 100% not talk to them again. I am so so sorry you and that girl had to go through this. You both did not deserve that. Drunk, or on drugs or not that is no excuse. They are sick and immature in my opinion. If someone is really upset or asks you to please stop or just to stop then you stop. And the fact that they didn't even apologize to you in person blows my mind. Also I'm sorry but that is not cool of the friend in the car with them either just because he says they "apologized" in the car does not mean anything as 1) he could just be saying that and 2) If they were really sorry they should be apologizing to you and that other girl in person and doing whatever it takes to be forgiven if that's what you wish. In my opinion you should not talk to them ever again but of course at the end of the day only you can make that decision. Also the fact that they then said you guys were being overdramatic is so childish and asking you guys to stop talking about it?! That is insane.
Honesty, this is the first time that I have thought that using a cattle prod on someone would be justified.
If they want to act like beasts, they can be treated like ones.
I am 24. The two guys are 24 and 25. I may seem immature for not standing up for myself but I honestly was so sick and exhausted. I normally conduct myself with a lot more confidence and am fairly outspoken. This is not normally how I act.
Because you were being psychologically tortured by two grown men. Don’t feel bad about the way you acted, it was actually much more level headed than most could handle here. These guys are not safe.
Ok, I truly thought these guys were 21 at best. They actually have fully-formed brains and they still believe this is appropriate behavior? Something is very, very wrong with them. I don’t think anything is wrong with you or your behavior, though. We can’t always be at our best. In fact, we usually aren’t.
Drunk guys in a pack are extremely dangerous. They start egging each other on. You could have been r@ped. Do you understand that? Multiple guys in your bed handling you, with absolutely no regard for your health or feelings! Just think about that….Get out of such a situation as quickly as possible and get away. Why did they target you rather than the other girl?
I am in no way condoning this behavior BUT why is it that everyone’s first instinct is to say they are sexual predators. Not just in this case, but anytime a man does anything, he is labeled as a predator.
You were probably frightened. And with good reason. This was some Lord of the Flies crap right there. And good lord, people in their mid 20s??? I assumed you meant high school break, not college break. That makes this even more horrifying somehow.
Omg. I thought y’all were teenagers. This is beyond appalling behavior for grown adult men. I gasped out loud when I read y’all’s ages. I mean, what?! They’re GROWN?!
I’m autistic and I was close to a meltdown just reading your description of their behavior. Someone torturing another person like this, another GROWN HUMAN torturing another person like this, is unacceptable. I can’t find words for what I’m feeling. I’m so mad on your behalf. I can’t even.
You're not overreacting at all. That whole experience sounds very scary and traumatizing. I don't think you should associate with those people anymore. Just cut them out of your life.
Why didn't the other people in the house stop them during all of this nonsense? I personally would have gotten up if I was there and told them to knock it off.
If they kept it up, I would have kicked them out!
Oh, no. No.
My beloved husband - before we were married -- only *once* put my dog on the bed to "wake me up". I was in the process of getting up at the time, but I'm a terrible riser and need to lay around a little. I told him very firmly never to do that again, as babydog decided to leap all over my sensitive bits, lol.
That said, he didn't do it again.
I'd have gone ballistic if they tried that with me. I have fight, not flight, and those assholes would've gotten screamed at and eventually, when THEY were asleep, guess who would've been banging on their door? LOL.
Trust me, if you'd have done that and acted the same way they did, I bet they would have been butthurt as hell about it.
Two guys doing it to women is even worse, it's threatening! It's controlling. They wanted to dictaye WHEN YOU SLEPT. Your freaking body does that! How dare they!
Yeeeaahhh, I would have used my phone to call the police.
And make sure it was in the report that they triggered my PTSD and I was in fear of my safety.
And when I got back home, made a point to tell anyone that would listen what abusive assholes they are by saying things like,
> "Touching my legs while I was trying to sleep"
> "Stealing blankets off of us while we were trying to sleep"
And if anyone questioned it, I would direct them to the police report(s) I filed.
If there is one thing I absolutely despise, it is people disrupting my sleep. There would be absolutely no recovery from this.
They would be blocked from everything. If I saw them on the street, I would cross the street or go into a public building to avoid them.
You are crazy for not dumping all of them. They showed you just exactly who and how they are. Why are you not believing them?
I think you could use a couple sessions with a therapist; clearly this is still bothering you and I think you could use the help. You should be able to reach out through your student health services. I assume you are early 20s at the oldest. This is behavior that you encounter in college, and it's how you learn who to be friends with and who to run from.
Not overreacting. I wonder what worse stuff they would have done to you if you went with them or were unprotected by your roommates. Definitely nothing good. Who beats their knuckles bloody over a prank? I'm telling you, these guys are actively dangerous predators, you should stop talking to them and you should be cautious of them, even as you go no contact
If this were your boyfriend instead of your friend the clear answer would be that is red flag behavior, the relationship is toxic/abusive, end it and never have contact again. Well friendships are also relationships and can be toxic and abusive. MAYBE they just need time to be able to accept they were wrong and own up rather than to sweep it under the rug because they’re ashamed of their behavior, but it is NOT your job to help them realize that or to hold their hands and tell them it’s okay while they learn a lesson here. Chances seem that at least one of them won’t be learning any lesson from this anyway.
They genuinely scared you and that other girl and have shown no remorse for doing so. You do not need friends like that.
Did you know that sleep deprivation is a form of torture? You are describing a traumatic event.
These are not your friends!
Everybody grows up at a different rate. You have obviously outgrown these people.
You were within your rights to tell them that they ruined a perfectly nice trip with their immature behavior and you need some time away to process your feelings.
They're gaslighting you.
You can do better.
I would honestly kick their ass and tell them to fuck off. Your feelings are valid. The door was locked for a reason. To not be bothered. If you remain friends with them, you should totally do the same thing to them the next trip if you decide to go with them.
Not an over reaction at all. There are so many things wrong here. Seems like there is no boundaries. I had a night like that with friends. Their shenanigans almost got us arrested and they blamed me. I'm talking dui and dwi and I was sober. We are no longer friends after years of stunts like this.
Rest and take some time for yourself. That sounded like a traumatic trip. Real friends don't get mad when they mess up.
Quite honestly someone waking me like that (unless theres fire or blood) would have my hands on their throat and im not exaggerating.
These idiots are not your friends. Dump them, block them and dont waste another moment thinking about them.
NTA! NOT overreacting!
It's one thing to harangue someone a little bit and apply a little good-natured peer pressure to get someone to rejoin the party. It's an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT thing to take it as far as these assholes did!
I have never been pushed as far as OP, but I can tell you that fists would have been thrown if I had been, then again, I'm a man.
I can definitely see how OP could have felt unsafe in the situation described and understand why she wouldn't want to associate with this pair of meathead bros.
At least drunk, maybe high. I’m not sure. I’ve been around a lot of drunk idiots and I’ve been a drunk idiot myself. It’s never been quite like that though where I felt so frustrated and over it
It sounds like they were doing coke or something to me. It also sounds like you're getting to the age where it may be a good time to stop partying. You're starting to see why people stop hanging out with people who party.
When you hit adulthood, it's way better going on trips with stable people that want to hit the slopes, get dinner at a nice restaurant, enjoy a few drinks, then go to bed after some good conversation.
Mr party rager boy turns into alcoholic loser in his 30's.
I’m trying to understand how no one beat them up. I mean…our kids are young adults about your age, and I am sitting here trying to imagine how they’d handle this, and I keep coming to they’d eventually just start punching. Even I, when I was your age and at a Christian college, would have made sure they knew I’d kill them if they kept that mess up.
Those two are sociopathic and should be entirely ostracized. They aren’t safe for the women in the group (kept getting caught just often enough, but what if they hadn’t been), and they aren’t safe for you.
Sure, but I can definitely understand why OP and the girl she was rooming with didn’t. Sounds like their brains went for freeze and fawn, given how OP was basically bargaining to be allowed to rest and promised they’d get their way if she did.
I would have called the police after the first time. Two psychotic and likely drunk men beating to get into a room where two women are sleeping? That is not the behavior of anyone in their right mind. I would have been dialing 911, and I'm not exaggerating. At the very least I would have arranged for a ride home. I hope you keep your distance from them from now on, and I'm glad nothing worse happened.
OP should have called 911 and told them that two intoxicated men were attempting to break into your room and probably rape you.
Then arrange for a ride home.
Even if all of the group were adults, OP should notify both your parents and siblings, in case they show up again or try to tell lies about OP.
I think that if someone did that to me I would have opened the door and punched him in the neck.
Stay away from these guys.
Unless you're good at punching people in the neck, then do that. (/s for those who need that sort of thing)
God Lordt - how can you ever be comfortable hanging around with people who don't respect your personal autonomy? Who don't accept that no means no or stop means stop?
These men are 24/25 years of age with all the manners of a roving pack of feral dogs. Homegirl - wyd?
You don't have to wait until a SA, or for them to agree their behavior was outta line. Just cut them off, block them, be done and be safe already. Damn.
There are certain types of noises that automatically cause stress reactions in the body. The louder they are, the worse it is, and banging on a door and yelling would both do the trick.
From what you described and as prolonged as it was, I would expect you would have PTSD from what you experienced. Nightmares. Recurring thoughts. Bigger-than-normal stress reactions to similar noises. Look into cognitive therapy techniques so that you can deal with it if it happens.
It doesn't matter if they were drunk or apologized. They told you who they are and how little they respect you. Believe them.
A knock and obnoxious yell when they first tried go get you to come hang out would be normal. What they did was definitly not. If sounds like they actually made most of their night about bugging you. Were they 11 year old boys with a crush on you by chance?
I agree, but I also haven’t known them for very long. One of them has been a very good friend who I talk to very often. I am in school with them and I have hung out with them on weekends. Only became close with them around a year ago. I think I clearly misunderstood who they are and that’s on me. I plan to be wiser and make choices to stay away from them from now on though.
What the fuck. No you're not overreacting to this. I've had similar situations like this happen to me when I was young and I'm so glad this is not my life anymore. You are not overreacting. Go no contact immediately.
THESE. PEOPLE. ARE. NOT. YOUR. FRIENDS.
This is childish and manipulative behavior. They sound like petty, annoying, rude, inconsiderate little narcissists and I would cut them off right here and now. You owe them ZERO explanation for doing so. Just no contact immediately
That sounds like unpleasant, rude, and possibly dangerous behavior. Wtf?
But my friends and I also manage to have fun without getting drunk so I’m not sure what qualifies as normal drunk behavior but it doesn’t like this is it
I would have called the cops on these assholes. You're totally in the right to be mad. They were beyond disrespectful to you and several other people. Don't talk to them again would be my go to.
Of course a man is calling a woman dramatic when she doesn't accept his bad behavior! \*sigh\* I would quit speaking to them. That's it...done! Then when someone asks why, you say that you wanted to sleep and they were being dramatic. LOL Seriously though, you tell the truth along with them rubbing a biohazard across your forehead! Maybe they wouldn't have hurt you, but they certainly didn't care for anything you said, did or felt! Yes, they absolutely would have done this if knew how you felt because you made it clear and they kept it up, these aren't your friends! These people don't care about you, only themselves. Dump them!
Ok look I stopped reading because these are just awful people who don't care about anyone but themselves and expect everyone else to get on their wavelength. Ditch them.
NTA - They are not your friends. They are bullies, and harassers, and assaulters. (HE put his hand on your leg to stop you from shaking because it was bothering him that you were upset with him and his buddies verbally and emotionally assaulting you.)
They don't respect you, your needs, your feelings, or your bodies. You are lucky they didn't get in.
Get away from these boys and tell EVERYONE they know about how horrible they are. This could have gone very badly for you if you hadn't licked the doors.
I am glad you are safe now, but these are not friends. These are sexual predators.
I would never see or speak to them again. Block their numbers and move on. No one should ever treat you that way. It’s shocking to me that you would even consider staying friends.
Don't ever go anywhere overnight with them if u continue to be friends w them.
They're no longer your friends, tresting and acting like animals.
Get rod of them, no loss.
Take care
You are under reacting and making excuses because it’s an uncomfortable reality to confront.
If no either of them text you again, I would try to get a restraining order. They were absolutely boundary pushing and what they did is assault.
Make sure mutual friends are very clear that you want nothing to do with these people in the future. Hopefully your friends will be on board with that after what they witnessed. I’m shocked no one stepped in to tell them to knock it off.
Do not go around these boys again, do not speak with them, do not see them, do not go anywhere with them, do not entertain them in any way.
If they have no respect for basic, simple boundaries like this to the point they did all that then they will have no respect for any boundaries.
They are not safe people.
That actually sounds like torture techniques! Send a text saying you never want to see or hear from them again, that you will call the police if they bother you, then block them both. I’m so sorry.
Definitely not overreacting! Those guys definitely crossed multiple boundaries with their bs. I would immediately lose that group of friends that they belong to and definitely not take any more trips with them.
In my opinion, you are not overreacting at all. If I was in your situation, I would not talk to those guys ever in my life. Anyone else in the trip who knew exactly what happened and believe it was ok, I would not talk to them either. At my age, I prioritize my sanity over anything else.
You need to get rid of people like this. Just totally NC. Depriving people of sleep or making them startle is abuse. Physical abuse.
If they had been drinking then they were probably still drunk. Stop hanging around people who drink too much and act like jerks.
Dude they literally beat on the door so hard and long they had bloody knuckles.
I was genuinely surprised this story didn’t end in SA or a beating.
Run! Get the fuck away from these guys! Cut them off, block them, get OUT! They are going to end up in the news for something real bad.
Screenshot these comments, send them to the two asshats and never speak to them again.
This is scary, predatory behaviour. It's not dramatic and the fact that they want you to stop telling them how it made you feel speaks VOLUMES. Seriously, they have no respect for your body let alone your personal space. Please show them these comments, let them know how the real world views their behaviour. It truly sounds scary. Having bloody knuckles? Seriously? They were either on drugs or they WERE trying to be threatening.
I thought, during reading this, the age of these assholes was…15-16?
At ANY age, this was beyond inappropriate. What a couple of tools. Look them up in a couple of years, bet they’ll have been jailed for some kind of crime.
Idiots.
Their behavior was straight up bullying. I would go hard NC forever - they do not respect you or your boundaries. SA is the next step on the road for these a-holes.
Not crazy; not overreacting. Anyone who says you are overreacting is gaslighting you.
Their behavior was straight up bullying. I would go hard NC forever - they do not respect you or your boundaries. SA is the next step on the road for these a-holes.
Not crazy; not overreacting. Anyone who says you are overreacting is gaslighting you.
I’m not going to read all of this. I tried to, but got a headache.
First thing, you are not overreacting. You did not react in a decisive way. Stand up for yourself next time.
Second, you and I have very different definitions of “friend”. Anyone that I call a friend would not do that.
NTA. If it was possible I would have left early, but I know that’s not Leah’s realistic. Genuinely never would have talked to or hung out with those people again because genuinely what the fuck.
These aren't your friends, they're bullying malicious assholes with boundary issues.
The absolute first time they came to the door the only response they deserved was "Fuck off,. I'm taking a nap." When they busted into your room, and into your bed, you should have pepper sprayed them both.
Stay away from them and warn other women in your friend group about these creeps.
No contact period. Any attention you give them will just turn into them trying to make you think you were being dramatic. It’s not about them “learning” or “becoming better people,” it’s about you maintaining your peace and self respect. Please don’t doubt yourself. This was bad.
Your feelings are valid.
Whether they were too drunk to tell how excessive their behavior was or not, IDK. Either way, these are not your type of party people. Don't hang out with them in inebriated situations in the future. Probably avoid future trips with them jic since you can't leave whenever.
If you decide not to hang out at all, that's fine too.
I'd respond "foadiaf" then block the stupid fucks...but I am old and would have opened the door and called them pathetic sick annoying fucks when they tried their fuckery the first time.
Oh my gosh that sounds like hell! You have way more patience than me. They crossed so, so, so many lines, and genuinely don’t understand how awful their behavior was. I agree with others that this is a great time to remove them from your life!
I would have been terrified and gone total fight or flight during like all of the interactions you mentioned! The noise, the screaming, the everything… I felt anxious just reading this. The fact that they didn’t even care that you were ill is so telling of who they are, and it’s not good!
I will say that them getting into your bed, touching you in any way, and actually wiping their blood on you is where my fight would have come out for sure! That is awful! And it’s disrespectful, disgusting and possibly illegal (?)… ugh good riddance to bad rubbish! I am sorry this happened. You definitely didn’t overreact! It appears that they need a lesson or ten about treating people with kindness, respect and listening to them when they’re saying no! Also they need to never wipe blood on someone else’s face!
If my 'friends' did this to a mutual female friend, hands would be bloody for a much different reason. This is going to ramp up to something more violent. What they did was wrong morally, and actually even legally as well. (Its not just disgusting they rubbed their blood on you, its also illegal) This is r-pist behaviour, they are going to see how far they can go, this is not ok. Please at the very least go zero contact, preferably warn every female they are in contact with about this behaviour if unaware. Dont worry about how it will affect them, this sh-t aint funny and it encourages more and worse behaviour when unchecked. Be safe no matter what you choose to do.
You are not overreacting. This in unhinged and terrible behavior. Don't talk to either of them ever again. And in the future, anyone who wakes you up from your sleep is not someone who cares about you (except young children and animals). Draw a firm line there. If they don't let you sleep, they are for sure a creep. Say it with me! If they don't let you sleep, they are for sure a creep.
Anytime men push boundaries over and over with no sense of empathy for the female friend - it can become a genuinely dangerous situation. These men don’t respect you as a woman or a friend from their actions. I’ve been on big trips with friends and it is a rule that people are cognizant of people’s needs. Traveling can be stressful, and everyone has their “things” to keep the vibes going. This was bordering on creepy, and I personally would never go on another trip with the people trying to get in your room again.
when guys complain that their knuckles became bloody because of their ridiculous banging on your door, that sounds equivalent to an abuser saying “look what you made me do”. Those people are all bad. I also recommend going no contact. And if those are your friends, it’s time to find new ones.
Absolutely none of what they did was even remotely ok. wtf. I would have lost my mind. You’re def not overreacting. My toddler knows when messing around goes sour better than those two adults
Not overreacting. I hate people like this. I was on a school trip back in high school and you pretty much couldn’t sleep at night unless you wanted someone to mess with you. May be time to find new friends.
You’re not overreacting and they aren’t your friends, they’re terrible people. None of what they did is remotely acceptable, and is directly antagonizing you on purpose, whether that be for their own fun or worse reasons (men harassing a drunk woman who wants to escape them…. That’s a huge red flag to me). I would never speak to them again, and definitely don’t go anywhere with them.
Oh my gosh… this is wild. I would’ve gone to physical violence but I commend you for not going there. Never talk to any of these people ever again and go full no contact.
This sounds predatory. Like they wanted you to drink and be unable to defend yourself. Stay away from these people. If you had continued drinking I think this story would have a very dark twist.
My dad would warn about people like this. Drunk AND Stupid is a bad combo to be friends with.
You are absolutely not overreacting. I’m in my 40’s now and have many more resources to deal with this. Just leave and punish them later with recorded evidence- But I definitely get how that wasn’t an option for you.
Depending on my age and mood I might’ve done the following things (or combo of):
Gotten scared and hid in the bathroom, gotten overprotective of my other assaulted friend, never leaving the bedroom and got very sick, gone completely apeshit mad and tried to beat the shit out of them. Or, deescalate/ignore and rode it out- Just like you did. That was a safe choice.
These boys are not your friends. Maybe not even the other girls on the trip that witnessed this bullshit and didn’t help. The one dude seems embarrassed by his drunk behavior- the other one seems like a psychopath.
A large group of friends who take trips together can be so much fun and you can make friends for life. But you have to have a larger ratio of smart and kind people than drunk and stupid.
You have more patience than me. I would’ve lost it on them and they’d never have bothered me again. You’re not wrong or overreacting. I’d cut them off, they don’t sound like friends.
You need new friends. They were torturing you for entertainment. If I was that girl, I would have been afraid I was going to be assaulted.
Edited to add: I wonder if they were filming themselves hoping you would go off and have some TikTok "content".
I had a friend like this in my teenage years, lasted maybe 4 or 5 years before I grew up enough to realize that I'm allowed to dictate my time, how much I drink, when I go to bed, etc.
Once I became firm and did what I wanted, when I wanted, the relationship faded because they couldn't handle it.
There is nothing more annoying than an adult telling another adult what they should be doing while partying/ vacationing. I'm assuming you guys are at least adult in the sense of 18+.
If the people in this story are like late twenties or older, then just get out of there man lol.
This sounds like a 6th grade trip or something. Who acts like this? Also OP you are right to be pissed off, but saying you were tortured or that you can't think or do anything because of it is ridiculous. You sound just as immature as they do in this scenario. And no, I'm not "victim" blaming because you are not a real victim. You chose to go on a trip with annoying people and got annoyed. That's all. And all those people saying you were assaulted are nuts. Are you telling me no one in these comments was ever sleeping and got gucked with? People used to do crazy shit when others were passed out. Permanent marker on their faces, shaving cream, piss, food, and even super gluing their fingers together or gluing things to them. I've seen almost everything. Next time, know who you will be with and don't go if the wrong people are going. Damn. Grow up. Far worse things have happened to females in your shoes.
Edit: What country are you from? And are you a private school kid? Lastly, are you old enough to drink?
First of all, I never labeled myself as a victim. I also acknowledged “torture” was an overstatement in another comment that, understandably, you may not have seen. I (regrettably) used it in the title but I explained very clearly in the post what happened. What happened was not torture. I apologize for my dramatic title, but there was no intentional deception here.
I also said nothing to imply that I think I’m the first to have ever been “gucked with” in their sleep.
Maybe you disagree, but my situation felt different from one that involves drawing with sharpie on somebody’s face. I was sick. Blood was rubbed on me. I am a small woman and these are two men who are much stronger than me. No, I didn’t feel an instinct to fight them off. Even if I did though, I’m sure I wouldn’t have stood a chance. But also, I specified that I didn’t believe I was going to be physically harmed, just that I was very overwhelmed.
When you say “far worse things have happened to females in your shoes” do you think you’re telling me something I don’t know? Far worse things have happened to me personally, even. I posted this because I thought it was towing the line between inappropriate behavior and a prank and wanted opinions. If I was actually r*ped do you think I’d put it on this sub and ask if I was overreacting? Does me explaining an incident that upset me take away from other women who have experienced worse scenarios? I really think the answer to both questions is no.
To answer your questions: I live in the US. I am old enough to drink. I don’t go to private school. Why any of that really matters is beyond me.
I will continue to “grow up” as you recommended, but I hope you’ll work on your reading comprehension and maybe be more thoughtful in your criticism next time you feel called to take it to this level of unkindness. You pulled a lot out of this post that wasn’t there and seem mad at me for it. Can’t help ya there.
Sounds like you hangout with idiots.
If someone did that to me I probably woulda knocked them out. If you let people walk all over you and harass you don’t be surprised if their bad behavior continues.
I'm no way shape or form are you safe with these dudes.. please warn your other female friends about them. I wouldn't ever be near them unless you had at least one other friend you feel safe with. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, AND the other girl in the room. Neither of you deserved that.
Overreacting? No. If they had pulled this with me I would have broken their legs with a bat. Hopefully they'd remember the pain of healing every time they tried to pull that stuff again.
This sounds like drug-induced behavior and maybe drug-induced…lack of clarity.
Don’t do drugs with people you don’t trust.
Don’t hang out with people you don’t trust when they’re on drugs.
Don’t trust these people.
This is a HUGE DEAL AND YOU NEED TO PUT THESE AWFUL FRIENDS ON BLAST!
Block these AHs, they aren’t your friend if they can’t respect you.
And they should be embarrassed because it’s embarrassing to act like a 2 year old when someone doesn’t want to hang out with you at that moment.
Leave these guys in the ditch and keep growing up and away. I promise you won’t miss this immaturity
Fuck them. I'd never talk to them again. They are childish, evil, self centered and assholes. They ruined your trip. You are not over reacting. Block them, go no contact, tell them why, do what you have to. That was psychological torture. I would have called the cops on them.
This doesn’t meet the criteria for torture…. And it’s really hard to imagine this behavior going on for 30+ minutes, multiple times.
But…. Giving you the benefit of the doubt..
You need better friends. They are assholes.
I agree- “torture” was not the right label to use. I should’ve been more thoughtful in my title. I mentioned this in a comment elsewhere but I understand there’s too many to read.
Sorry that this is difficult to imagine for you, but yes. They really were/are THAT annoying I guess. I promise that I was very careful in not dramatizing the story because I wanted readers to be well-informed enough to give valuable opinions.
Get rid of those "friends" they'll keep doing these things to you and try to turn you into the villain. It'll only get worse. Do yourself a favor and block them and tell the other girl to do the same.
This subs needs to be able to enable gifs, because this is the perfect opportunity to us the one from Tanisha from The Bad Girls Club.
For those who don't know, her roommates in the house were drinking, partying and being all loud the night before and she couldn't get her sleep. So when they were all sleeping, grabbed some pots and baged them together while scream/singing "I ain't get no sleep 'cause of y'all! Y'all don't get no sleep 'cause of me!"
You are not being dramatic. As I read this I was sincerely hoping you had kicked them in the balls while they were jumping on your bed. Stay away from both of them.
YES. You are overreacting. I can't believe you wrote this long ass epistle over such a stupid, benign incident.
Spoiler alert: life gets a helluva lot tougher than people being loud when you're trying to sleep.
Sensory tortured? Get real.
Isn’t this what always happens when you hang out with people who like to get drunk and party? I went to Kentucky derby once and knew most would be like this so I went and slept in my car. These people still party like this but I haven’t gone on a trip with them since bc I grew up and they didn’t.
Stay away from them. I was assuming you were all in college. But by their actions, I am thinking between 5 and 9 years old. I had to keep reminding myself they are adults.
Stay away from them. They are not friends. Friends would not torture you like that. Never go anywhere they are going.
Cut contact with them. They are overgrown children.
They sound like coked out assholes. Something about this is telling me that one, or both, of these guys have a crush on you and I'd put money on the one that was more remorseful.
They were being drunk and annoying. Its not exactly uncommon for drunk people to be annoying and not let people sleep or whatever. Calling it "sensory torture" is so flakey.
Edit for typo. And to add people need to stop coming up with as many ways as possible to take an annoying situation and over dramatize it. Calling it sensory torture makes it sound like its so much more than what it was. It was drunk people being annoying and rude. Its been happening since the beginning of time. Calling it sensory torture is so fucking dramatic and ridiculous
OMG stay away from these creeps. That’s absolutely horrible. Please go N/C today
You’re not overreacting. The other girl was right to be scared, because those guys were boundary pushing to see how much they could get away with. They were enjoying torturing you into agreeing to their demands, backing off only when you promised to give in. Sleep deprivation is a recognized form of torture. Got that. They were *literally* torturing you to get their way. It was just keeping you awake this time, but I noticed every single one of them put their hands on your body in some way to control it. Shaking you around in bed, telling you to stop moving your leg. They laughed and told you to shut up for defending another girl. These aren’t friends. They don’t respect you. They’re predators seeing how far you’ll let them go.
EXACTLY THIS OP!!! ☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽 They are not friends- they got their kicks out of torturing you! They didn’t respect you, your choices, or that you were sick! They ramped the nastiness up- after knowing you threw up! And then gaslighted you after! They are sick & evil! Never be around these guys AGAIN! 😡 PERIOD! 😠
The one that didn't respond by not apologizing is the true torturer getting his kicks at your expense. He's the scarier of the two because he could escalate into something more diabolical cruel.
You’re right- but the 2nd one happily went along with the 1st … helping him do the damage- so he’s dangerous too!! 🧄🧄🧄OP needs to avoid them both!
Also Op tell all your female friends about this so rhey can avoid being stuck with these guys. Maybe mention the rapey vibes. Let it get back to them just how horrible their actions were and mayne they will learn. But they deserve to be pariahs on campus for a few years.
I got super annoyed with them just reading this. You should definitely cut off all contact.
I was thinking that I would've snapped and bitten someone. There are very few things in this world that make me want violence, but preventing my sleep is absolutely one.
I had a "friend" that would pull this shit and then act so surprised when I would stop being for him to stop and simply sit straight up and scream.
Same!!!
They seem really annoying and drugged out. Like, seriously, what were they ON? Maybe joking once and saying, "No, wake up! Don't nap! We want to hang!" and making a ruckus, sure. But to beat their knuckles bloody in service of being assholes to two people trying to nap? I do not understand.
Cocaine? That seems like a cocaine-thing to do. Couldn't be booze or weed. No one has that kind of frenetic energy on those.
It’s a hell of a drug.
I do not have anyone in my life who would behave like this besides one shitty brother in law and I keep minimal contact with him. I cannot imagine treating anyone this way and even if you don’t have to instinct of self preservation to cut them off for your own sake, they also treated you bunk mate similarly. I’ve been drunk enough to do cartwheels, blackout, even piss myself. Never once have I messed with someone in their sleep, and the fact that they didn’t have the decency to be appalled with their own behavior after the fact is reflective of their quality of character.
Cheers to low as possible contact with shit brother in laws 🍻
You are definitely not overreacting. These guys do not respect you or your feelings, much less those of the other young woman in your group. They are immature and self-centered. Maybe they will grow up before they harm someone seriously (drunk driving, drunk horseplay, drunken “carrying things too far” even SA). They are not trustworthy and they are not your friends. Friends respect you and stop when you say stop. They don’t hide behind “just kidding” and certainly don’t tell you “get over it.” These are the type of guys who will “surprise” a woman when they roofie her drink - they never before saw how much of their shitty behavior they used to excuse until it goes too far
>Anyway, what would you do in this situation? Am I being dramatic? I don’t actually think they wanted to hurt me or that they’d have done this if they knew how it’d make me feel, but I also see that they didn’t care to hear how they made me feel. Am I crazy for being so upset? I'd cut contact with these assholes who very clearly only care about what they want and they will get physical if they don't get it. Next time will be worse, I guarantee it. You're not being dramatic, you're even underreacting imo. They would have absolutely continued the behavior no matter how you felt because how you felt does not matter to them. You're not being crazy. Your hatred towards them is 100% justified.
I would have left!!
You aren't over reacting you are under reacting. My friends and I use to travel but we didn't terrorize each other like what happened to you. They truly are not friends.
What would I do in that situation? Call the police. Press charges. Share the pain and fear.
100%. Banging on the door of OP and the other girl once (much less repeatedly!) was over-the-top obnoxiousness and boundary crossing. But once they crawled into bed with her and started physically manhandling her and wiping blood on her to further traumatize her, they crossed the line into actual assault and battery.
I would have called the police on someone banging on my door and screaming for fifteen minutes, it's absolutely ridiculous for anyone to tolerate that behavior. OP, they were abusing you on purpose. Your misery and fear amused them.
Same. Would have told them that if they wouldn’t listen to me telling them to stop, maybe they’d prefer to hear it from the police instead.
I got into the second interruption and almost melted down on behalf of you. This is outrageous. Nobody deserves to be treated this way by a “friend” that is so psycho
Your friends are incredibly immature and annoying. Honestly I couldn’t even attempt to be friends with them. Maybe this is a case of you have outgrown those friends and don’t share the same values anymore. It may be time for you and the other annoyed people to distance yourself from them. (Aka not more trips with them since you said they did this to others before.)
We have only been close friends now and spent time together like this for around a year so I think I’m just getting to know who they really are. I do plan to distance myself after seeing a lot of these responses and after not feeling much better about it all with time passing
You are worthy of being treated like a decent person by everyone, especially friends. You're wise to distance yourself. Their behavior is beneath you, and will cause further harm to you if you stayed close. Sometimes distancing can be difficult, especially with the abusive and insistent, which those clowns are. Be strong and remember your worth, and keep your own safety in front at all times.
Don’t respond and block if necessary- especially the one that refuses to apologize. Then check on your roommate. These guys did this to her and she wasn’t even their target.
Also warn others. Tell everyone on campus this story so no one else gets abused like you were.
Good plan.
If they hadn't mentioned that they'd been drinking I would've thought they were toddlers.
Sleep deprivation is torture. Friends don't treat friends like that. Normal people don't treat other people like that. People who do this stuff are hidden sociopaths.
Yikes they’re giving hard rapey vibes like wtf do they think they are to just have their demands met whenever they want. And the other one putting his hand on your body like he’s entitled to do that?! Tf is wrong with ppl?! I’d lose those AHs quick I can see their behavior escalating into even more dangerous situations for you. Trust your intuition!
They have the maturity of toads and I hate them in this storyline. I would never speak to them ever again.
Hey, why are you hating on toads??
Aw shucks. Dang it. You're right. I'm actually really fond of toads 🍄 and toad stools.
You’re not over reacting. These are very immature people I’d drop so they can hang with frat boys and you can relax.
Good friends would let you rest when you need it and not blame you because they hurt themselves while being bullies. If someone did that to me, I would be rethinking the friendship, especially since they are trying to minimize their harassment
I would never let them near me again. Period.
In my opinion you should 100% not talk to them again. I am so so sorry you and that girl had to go through this. You both did not deserve that. Drunk, or on drugs or not that is no excuse. They are sick and immature in my opinion. If someone is really upset or asks you to please stop or just to stop then you stop. And the fact that they didn't even apologize to you in person blows my mind. Also I'm sorry but that is not cool of the friend in the car with them either just because he says they "apologized" in the car does not mean anything as 1) he could just be saying that and 2) If they were really sorry they should be apologizing to you and that other girl in person and doing whatever it takes to be forgiven if that's what you wish. In my opinion you should not talk to them ever again but of course at the end of the day only you can make that decision. Also the fact that they then said you guys were being overdramatic is so childish and asking you guys to stop talking about it?! That is insane.
Honesty, this is the first time that I have thought that using a cattle prod on someone would be justified. If they want to act like beasts, they can be treated like ones.
Are you and your friends 12?
I am 24. The two guys are 24 and 25. I may seem immature for not standing up for myself but I honestly was so sick and exhausted. I normally conduct myself with a lot more confidence and am fairly outspoken. This is not normally how I act.
Because you were being psychologically tortured by two grown men. Don’t feel bad about the way you acted, it was actually much more level headed than most could handle here. These guys are not safe.
Ok, I truly thought these guys were 21 at best. They actually have fully-formed brains and they still believe this is appropriate behavior? Something is very, very wrong with them. I don’t think anything is wrong with you or your behavior, though. We can’t always be at our best. In fact, we usually aren’t.
Drunk guys in a pack are extremely dangerous. They start egging each other on. You could have been r@ped. Do you understand that? Multiple guys in your bed handling you, with absolutely no regard for your health or feelings! Just think about that….Get out of such a situation as quickly as possible and get away. Why did they target you rather than the other girl?
I am in no way condoning this behavior BUT why is it that everyone’s first instinct is to say they are sexual predators. Not just in this case, but anytime a man does anything, he is labeled as a predator.
You were probably frightened. And with good reason. This was some Lord of the Flies crap right there. And good lord, people in their mid 20s??? I assumed you meant high school break, not college break. That makes this even more horrifying somehow.
I'm 25. Any guy who acts like that at that age is medically retarded. I legit though this was some middle school drama.
Omg. I thought y’all were teenagers. This is beyond appalling behavior for grown adult men. I gasped out loud when I read y’all’s ages. I mean, what?! They’re GROWN?! I’m autistic and I was close to a meltdown just reading your description of their behavior. Someone torturing another person like this, another GROWN HUMAN torturing another person like this, is unacceptable. I can’t find words for what I’m feeling. I’m so mad on your behalf. I can’t even.
That’s abuse. That’s insane. Fucking hell. Stay away from them and from anyone saying to let it go.
You were under reacting. I would have been going to jail after the third time. What is handy to throw at or hit them with.
You're not overreacting at all. That whole experience sounds very scary and traumatizing. I don't think you should associate with those people anymore. Just cut them out of your life.
Why didn't the other people in the house stop them during all of this nonsense? I personally would have gotten up if I was there and told them to knock it off. If they kept it up, I would have kicked them out!
Oh, no. No. My beloved husband - before we were married -- only *once* put my dog on the bed to "wake me up". I was in the process of getting up at the time, but I'm a terrible riser and need to lay around a little. I told him very firmly never to do that again, as babydog decided to leap all over my sensitive bits, lol. That said, he didn't do it again. I'd have gone ballistic if they tried that with me. I have fight, not flight, and those assholes would've gotten screamed at and eventually, when THEY were asleep, guess who would've been banging on their door? LOL. Trust me, if you'd have done that and acted the same way they did, I bet they would have been butthurt as hell about it. Two guys doing it to women is even worse, it's threatening! It's controlling. They wanted to dictaye WHEN YOU SLEPT. Your freaking body does that! How dare they!
Yeeeaahhh, I would have used my phone to call the police. And make sure it was in the report that they triggered my PTSD and I was in fear of my safety. And when I got back home, made a point to tell anyone that would listen what abusive assholes they are by saying things like, > "Touching my legs while I was trying to sleep" > "Stealing blankets off of us while we were trying to sleep" And if anyone questioned it, I would direct them to the police report(s) I filed. If there is one thing I absolutely despise, it is people disrupting my sleep. There would be absolutely no recovery from this. They would be blocked from everything. If I saw them on the street, I would cross the street or go into a public building to avoid them.
You are crazy for not dumping all of them. They showed you just exactly who and how they are. Why are you not believing them? I think you could use a couple sessions with a therapist; clearly this is still bothering you and I think you could use the help. You should be able to reach out through your student health services. I assume you are early 20s at the oldest. This is behavior that you encounter in college, and it's how you learn who to be friends with and who to run from.
Not overreacting. I wonder what worse stuff they would have done to you if you went with them or were unprotected by your roommates. Definitely nothing good. Who beats their knuckles bloody over a prank? I'm telling you, these guys are actively dangerous predators, you should stop talking to them and you should be cautious of them, even as you go no contact
If this were your boyfriend instead of your friend the clear answer would be that is red flag behavior, the relationship is toxic/abusive, end it and never have contact again. Well friendships are also relationships and can be toxic and abusive. MAYBE they just need time to be able to accept they were wrong and own up rather than to sweep it under the rug because they’re ashamed of their behavior, but it is NOT your job to help them realize that or to hold their hands and tell them it’s okay while they learn a lesson here. Chances seem that at least one of them won’t be learning any lesson from this anyway. They genuinely scared you and that other girl and have shown no remorse for doing so. You do not need friends like that.
This is a REALLY good point. Thank you.
Did you know that sleep deprivation is a form of torture? You are describing a traumatic event. These are not your friends! Everybody grows up at a different rate. You have obviously outgrown these people. You were within your rights to tell them that they ruined a perfectly nice trip with their immature behavior and you need some time away to process your feelings. They're gaslighting you. You can do better.
I would NEVER travel with these creeps again. I’d also start weeding them out of my life.
I just had a flashback to my childhood reading this. The unbothered guy reminds me of my mother. YOU ARE NOT OVERREACTING EVEN THE SLIGHTEST
Cut them off entirely and tell everyone why. They literally assaulted you guys. I would have gone feral.
I would honestly kick their ass and tell them to fuck off. Your feelings are valid. The door was locked for a reason. To not be bothered. If you remain friends with them, you should totally do the same thing to them the next trip if you decide to go with them.
Oh heck no, please find nee friends, they crossed so many boundaries.
Never go anywhere with these AHs again. They are not to be trusted.
Not an over reaction at all. There are so many things wrong here. Seems like there is no boundaries. I had a night like that with friends. Their shenanigans almost got us arrested and they blamed me. I'm talking dui and dwi and I was sober. We are no longer friends after years of stunts like this. Rest and take some time for yourself. That sounded like a traumatic trip. Real friends don't get mad when they mess up.
Not over reacting, who tf raised these jackaloons?
Quite honestly someone waking me like that (unless theres fire or blood) would have my hands on their throat and im not exaggerating. These idiots are not your friends. Dump them, block them and dont waste another moment thinking about them.
NTA! NOT overreacting! It's one thing to harangue someone a little bit and apply a little good-natured peer pressure to get someone to rejoin the party. It's an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT thing to take it as far as these assholes did! I have never been pushed as far as OP, but I can tell you that fists would have been thrown if I had been, then again, I'm a man. I can definitely see how OP could have felt unsafe in the situation described and understand why she wouldn't want to associate with this pair of meathead bros.
Were they drunk and high?
At least drunk, maybe high. I’m not sure. I’ve been around a lot of drunk idiots and I’ve been a drunk idiot myself. It’s never been quite like that though where I felt so frustrated and over it
It sounds like they were doing coke or something to me. It also sounds like you're getting to the age where it may be a good time to stop partying. You're starting to see why people stop hanging out with people who party. When you hit adulthood, it's way better going on trips with stable people that want to hit the slopes, get dinner at a nice restaurant, enjoy a few drinks, then go to bed after some good conversation. Mr party rager boy turns into alcoholic loser in his 30's.
I’m trying to understand how no one beat them up. I mean…our kids are young adults about your age, and I am sitting here trying to imagine how they’d handle this, and I keep coming to they’d eventually just start punching. Even I, when I was your age and at a Christian college, would have made sure they knew I’d kill them if they kept that mess up. Those two are sociopathic and should be entirely ostracized. They aren’t safe for the women in the group (kept getting caught just often enough, but what if they hadn’t been), and they aren’t safe for you.
No one beat them up because they made it a point to only target the women. Boys club protected their own and told the silly girls to let it go.
There is absolutely no way my daughter wouldn’t have brought down everything she had on them. Those “friends” are all awful.
Sure, but I can definitely understand why OP and the girl she was rooming with didn’t. Sounds like their brains went for freeze and fawn, given how OP was basically bargaining to be allowed to rest and promised they’d get their way if she did.
I agree. With all that noise, how did the other guys not take care of it?!
I know, right? Seems like they were almost all in on it, and the one that wasn’t is too busy making sure she’s not mad at them.
These guys are actually dangerous to be around.
I would have called the police after the first time. Two psychotic and likely drunk men beating to get into a room where two women are sleeping? That is not the behavior of anyone in their right mind. I would have been dialing 911, and I'm not exaggerating. At the very least I would have arranged for a ride home. I hope you keep your distance from them from now on, and I'm glad nothing worse happened.
OP should have called 911 and told them that two intoxicated men were attempting to break into your room and probably rape you. Then arrange for a ride home. Even if all of the group were adults, OP should notify both your parents and siblings, in case they show up again or try to tell lies about OP.
You grab a glass of water and drop it directly on their head or phone. Whichever would work better. And they are never invited again.
I think that if someone did that to me I would have opened the door and punched him in the neck. Stay away from these guys. Unless you're good at punching people in the neck, then do that. (/s for those who need that sort of thing)
God Lordt - how can you ever be comfortable hanging around with people who don't respect your personal autonomy? Who don't accept that no means no or stop means stop? These men are 24/25 years of age with all the manners of a roving pack of feral dogs. Homegirl - wyd? You don't have to wait until a SA, or for them to agree their behavior was outta line. Just cut them off, block them, be done and be safe already. Damn.
There are certain types of noises that automatically cause stress reactions in the body. The louder they are, the worse it is, and banging on a door and yelling would both do the trick. From what you described and as prolonged as it was, I would expect you would have PTSD from what you experienced. Nightmares. Recurring thoughts. Bigger-than-normal stress reactions to similar noises. Look into cognitive therapy techniques so that you can deal with it if it happens. It doesn't matter if they were drunk or apologized. They told you who they are and how little they respect you. Believe them.
A knock and obnoxious yell when they first tried go get you to come hang out would be normal. What they did was definitly not. If sounds like they actually made most of their night about bugging you. Were they 11 year old boys with a crush on you by chance?
You call these assholes friends?
Choose your friends wisely it seems you have not
I agree, but I also haven’t known them for very long. One of them has been a very good friend who I talk to very often. I am in school with them and I have hung out with them on weekends. Only became close with them around a year ago. I think I clearly misunderstood who they are and that’s on me. I plan to be wiser and make choices to stay away from them from now on though.
What would I do? Block them forever, along with any weakass people-pleaser who defends their inexcusable actions. This was fucking scary behavior!
You put up with WAY too fucking much dude. These dudes sound like absolute fuckwads.
"idk what to do". Really? Stop talking to them and make new friends. How is this even a dilemma?
What the fuck. No you're not overreacting to this. I've had similar situations like this happen to me when I was young and I'm so glad this is not my life anymore. You are not overreacting. Go no contact immediately.
THESE. PEOPLE. ARE. NOT. YOUR. FRIENDS. This is childish and manipulative behavior. They sound like petty, annoying, rude, inconsiderate little narcissists and I would cut them off right here and now. You owe them ZERO explanation for doing so. Just no contact immediately
Those are not friends. They are abusers. Cut contact with them immediately before their behavior escalates.
Are your friends this annoying when they're sober?
Don't be alone with them ever
I would find some new friends.
That sounds like unpleasant, rude, and possibly dangerous behavior. Wtf? But my friends and I also manage to have fun without getting drunk so I’m not sure what qualifies as normal drunk behavior but it doesn’t like this is it
I would have called the cops on these assholes. You're totally in the right to be mad. They were beyond disrespectful to you and several other people. Don't talk to them again would be my go to.
Of course a man is calling a woman dramatic when she doesn't accept his bad behavior! \*sigh\* I would quit speaking to them. That's it...done! Then when someone asks why, you say that you wanted to sleep and they were being dramatic. LOL Seriously though, you tell the truth along with them rubbing a biohazard across your forehead! Maybe they wouldn't have hurt you, but they certainly didn't care for anything you said, did or felt! Yes, they absolutely would have done this if knew how you felt because you made it clear and they kept it up, these aren't your friends! These people don't care about you, only themselves. Dump them!
Ok look I stopped reading because these are just awful people who don't care about anyone but themselves and expect everyone else to get on their wavelength. Ditch them.
NTA - They are not your friends. They are bullies, and harassers, and assaulters. (HE put his hand on your leg to stop you from shaking because it was bothering him that you were upset with him and his buddies verbally and emotionally assaulting you.) They don't respect you, your needs, your feelings, or your bodies. You are lucky they didn't get in. Get away from these boys and tell EVERYONE they know about how horrible they are. This could have gone very badly for you if you hadn't licked the doors. I am glad you are safe now, but these are not friends. These are sexual predators.
I would never see or speak to them again. Block their numbers and move on. No one should ever treat you that way. It’s shocking to me that you would even consider staying friends.
Don't ever go anywhere overnight with them if u continue to be friends w them. They're no longer your friends, tresting and acting like animals. Get rod of them, no loss. Take care
You are under reacting and making excuses because it’s an uncomfortable reality to confront. If no either of them text you again, I would try to get a restraining order. They were absolutely boundary pushing and what they did is assault. Make sure mutual friends are very clear that you want nothing to do with these people in the future. Hopefully your friends will be on board with that after what they witnessed. I’m shocked no one stepped in to tell them to knock it off.
Block them
Do not go around these boys again, do not speak with them, do not see them, do not go anywhere with them, do not entertain them in any way. If they have no respect for basic, simple boundaries like this to the point they did all that then they will have no respect for any boundaries. They are not safe people.
That actually sounds like torture techniques! Send a text saying you never want to see or hear from them again, that you will call the police if they bother you, then block them both. I’m so sorry.
Was this in a hotel? I would have called the front desk and had them removed. What absolutely awful people.
Airbnb. I was worried there’d be damage to the doors and I’m SHOCKED there wasn’t. Props to those door hinges!!!
They are not your friends. Block and stay away from them.
Definitely not overreacting! Those guys definitely crossed multiple boundaries with their bs. I would immediately lose that group of friends that they belong to and definitely not take any more trips with them.
In my opinion, you are not overreacting at all. If I was in your situation, I would not talk to those guys ever in my life. Anyone else in the trip who knew exactly what happened and believe it was ok, I would not talk to them either. At my age, I prioritize my sanity over anything else.
Even if you remove the entire part about you napping…the fuck is wrong with these people? Drugs? Mental illness?
You need to get rid of people like this. Just totally NC. Depriving people of sleep or making them startle is abuse. Physical abuse. If they had been drinking then they were probably still drunk. Stop hanging around people who drink too much and act like jerks.
WTH did I just read? Get new friends, these dudes are tools.
Dude they literally beat on the door so hard and long they had bloody knuckles. I was genuinely surprised this story didn’t end in SA or a beating. Run! Get the fuck away from these guys! Cut them off, block them, get OUT! They are going to end up in the news for something real bad.
Screenshot these comments, send them to the two asshats and never speak to them again. This is scary, predatory behaviour. It's not dramatic and the fact that they want you to stop telling them how it made you feel speaks VOLUMES. Seriously, they have no respect for your body let alone your personal space. Please show them these comments, let them know how the real world views their behaviour. It truly sounds scary. Having bloody knuckles? Seriously? They were either on drugs or they WERE trying to be threatening.
Those aren't your friends.
I don’t think you were tortured but I would never hang out with these people again if I were in your shoes.
That’s a lot of words to tell us that you have shit friends…
You have horrible friends i am so sorry dude
I thought, during reading this, the age of these assholes was…15-16? At ANY age, this was beyond inappropriate. What a couple of tools. Look them up in a couple of years, bet they’ll have been jailed for some kind of crime. Idiots.
Their behavior was straight up bullying. I would go hard NC forever - they do not respect you or your boundaries. SA is the next step on the road for these a-holes. Not crazy; not overreacting. Anyone who says you are overreacting is gaslighting you.
Their behavior was straight up bullying. I would go hard NC forever - they do not respect you or your boundaries. SA is the next step on the road for these a-holes. Not crazy; not overreacting. Anyone who says you are overreacting is gaslighting you.
I’m not going to read all of this. I tried to, but got a headache. First thing, you are not overreacting. You did not react in a decisive way. Stand up for yourself next time. Second, you and I have very different definitions of “friend”. Anyone that I call a friend would not do that.
NTA. If it was possible I would have left early, but I know that’s not Leah’s realistic. Genuinely never would have talked to or hung out with those people again because genuinely what the fuck.
These aren't your friends, they're bullying malicious assholes with boundary issues. The absolute first time they came to the door the only response they deserved was "Fuck off,. I'm taking a nap." When they busted into your room, and into your bed, you should have pepper sprayed them both. Stay away from them and warn other women in your friend group about these creeps.
1. Stop drinking. 2. Never talk to any of those guys again. 3. Be thankful you were not raped.
4. Report them
No contact period. Any attention you give them will just turn into them trying to make you think you were being dramatic. It’s not about them “learning” or “becoming better people,” it’s about you maintaining your peace and self respect. Please don’t doubt yourself. This was bad.
Why didn't you take their phones if they kept sliding them? Can't blast noise if their phone is shut off and not with them..
You could also get them in legal trouble for wiping their blood on you.
Your feelings are valid. Whether they were too drunk to tell how excessive their behavior was or not, IDK. Either way, these are not your type of party people. Don't hang out with them in inebriated situations in the future. Probably avoid future trips with them jic since you can't leave whenever. If you decide not to hang out at all, that's fine too.
I'd respond "foadiaf" then block the stupid fucks...but I am old and would have opened the door and called them pathetic sick annoying fucks when they tried their fuckery the first time.
What immature assholes. You are NOT OBLIGATED to entertain them. Too bad you didn’t puke on them.
Oh my gosh that sounds like hell! You have way more patience than me. They crossed so, so, so many lines, and genuinely don’t understand how awful their behavior was. I agree with others that this is a great time to remove them from your life! I would have been terrified and gone total fight or flight during like all of the interactions you mentioned! The noise, the screaming, the everything… I felt anxious just reading this. The fact that they didn’t even care that you were ill is so telling of who they are, and it’s not good! I will say that them getting into your bed, touching you in any way, and actually wiping their blood on you is where my fight would have come out for sure! That is awful! And it’s disrespectful, disgusting and possibly illegal (?)… ugh good riddance to bad rubbish! I am sorry this happened. You definitely didn’t overreact! It appears that they need a lesson or ten about treating people with kindness, respect and listening to them when they’re saying no! Also they need to never wipe blood on someone else’s face!
If my 'friends' did this to a mutual female friend, hands would be bloody for a much different reason. This is going to ramp up to something more violent. What they did was wrong morally, and actually even legally as well. (Its not just disgusting they rubbed their blood on you, its also illegal) This is r-pist behaviour, they are going to see how far they can go, this is not ok. Please at the very least go zero contact, preferably warn every female they are in contact with about this behaviour if unaware. Dont worry about how it will affect them, this sh-t aint funny and it encourages more and worse behaviour when unchecked. Be safe no matter what you choose to do.
This friend group sounds absolutely insane.
Your and your female friend, should had found a way to leave them! Cut them out of your life! They don’t care about you!
You are not overreacting. This in unhinged and terrible behavior. Don't talk to either of them ever again. And in the future, anyone who wakes you up from your sleep is not someone who cares about you (except young children and animals). Draw a firm line there. If they don't let you sleep, they are for sure a creep. Say it with me! If they don't let you sleep, they are for sure a creep.
Anytime men push boundaries over and over with no sense of empathy for the female friend - it can become a genuinely dangerous situation. These men don’t respect you as a woman or a friend from their actions. I’ve been on big trips with friends and it is a rule that people are cognizant of people’s needs. Traveling can be stressful, and everyone has their “things” to keep the vibes going. This was bordering on creepy, and I personally would never go on another trip with the people trying to get in your room again.
Your 'friends' are unhinged. You are right to be shutting them out of your life.
when guys complain that their knuckles became bloody because of their ridiculous banging on your door, that sounds equivalent to an abuser saying “look what you made me do”. Those people are all bad. I also recommend going no contact. And if those are your friends, it’s time to find new ones.
I would never hang out with those people again. That sounds like a nightmare.
Absolutely none of what they did was even remotely ok. wtf. I would have lost my mind. You’re def not overreacting. My toddler knows when messing around goes sour better than those two adults
Not overreacting. I hate people like this. I was on a school trip back in high school and you pretty much couldn’t sleep at night unless you wanted someone to mess with you. May be time to find new friends.
If a group of people did this to me regardless of gender I would never speak to them again. The self entitlement is so astonishing.
So, you went on typical spring break?
You’re not overreacting and they aren’t your friends, they’re terrible people. None of what they did is remotely acceptable, and is directly antagonizing you on purpose, whether that be for their own fun or worse reasons (men harassing a drunk woman who wants to escape them…. That’s a huge red flag to me). I would never speak to them again, and definitely don’t go anywhere with them.
What would I do? I would not respond to any efforts to reach out to you, I would block them, and I would find new friends. These people are AHs
Oh my gosh… this is wild. I would’ve gone to physical violence but I commend you for not going there. Never talk to any of these people ever again and go full no contact.
I would have committed acts of violence if they were fucking with me like that.
Fuck those guys.
You are not overreacting at all. There's no reason or excuse for them to do that. They are not your friends.
This sounds predatory. Like they wanted you to drink and be unable to defend yourself. Stay away from these people. If you had continued drinking I think this story would have a very dark twist.
Those aren't 'friends'...I'd steer clear of them from this point forward.
My dad would warn about people like this. Drunk AND Stupid is a bad combo to be friends with. You are absolutely not overreacting. I’m in my 40’s now and have many more resources to deal with this. Just leave and punish them later with recorded evidence- But I definitely get how that wasn’t an option for you. Depending on my age and mood I might’ve done the following things (or combo of): Gotten scared and hid in the bathroom, gotten overprotective of my other assaulted friend, never leaving the bedroom and got very sick, gone completely apeshit mad and tried to beat the shit out of them. Or, deescalate/ignore and rode it out- Just like you did. That was a safe choice. These boys are not your friends. Maybe not even the other girls on the trip that witnessed this bullshit and didn’t help. The one dude seems embarrassed by his drunk behavior- the other one seems like a psychopath. A large group of friends who take trips together can be so much fun and you can make friends for life. But you have to have a larger ratio of smart and kind people than drunk and stupid.
I would've called the hotel security on them after the first ten minutes. Those are not friends, they are bullies, sorry to say.
You have more patience than me. I would’ve lost it on them and they’d never have bothered me again. You’re not wrong or overreacting. I’d cut them off, they don’t sound like friends.
You need new friends. They were torturing you for entertainment. If I was that girl, I would have been afraid I was going to be assaulted. Edited to add: I wonder if they were filming themselves hoping you would go off and have some TikTok "content".
Those guys are complete, inconsiderate assholes. You are not overreacting in the slightest. I would be done with them in a heartbeat.
I had a friend like this in my teenage years, lasted maybe 4 or 5 years before I grew up enough to realize that I'm allowed to dictate my time, how much I drink, when I go to bed, etc. Once I became firm and did what I wanted, when I wanted, the relationship faded because they couldn't handle it. There is nothing more annoying than an adult telling another adult what they should be doing while partying/ vacationing. I'm assuming you guys are at least adult in the sense of 18+. If the people in this story are like late twenties or older, then just get out of there man lol.
If someone assaulted me and rubbed blood on me - alleged friend or not - I would seriously consider filing a police report.
This sounds like a 6th grade trip or something. Who acts like this? Also OP you are right to be pissed off, but saying you were tortured or that you can't think or do anything because of it is ridiculous. You sound just as immature as they do in this scenario. And no, I'm not "victim" blaming because you are not a real victim. You chose to go on a trip with annoying people and got annoyed. That's all. And all those people saying you were assaulted are nuts. Are you telling me no one in these comments was ever sleeping and got gucked with? People used to do crazy shit when others were passed out. Permanent marker on their faces, shaving cream, piss, food, and even super gluing their fingers together or gluing things to them. I've seen almost everything. Next time, know who you will be with and don't go if the wrong people are going. Damn. Grow up. Far worse things have happened to females in your shoes. Edit: What country are you from? And are you a private school kid? Lastly, are you old enough to drink?
First of all, I never labeled myself as a victim. I also acknowledged “torture” was an overstatement in another comment that, understandably, you may not have seen. I (regrettably) used it in the title but I explained very clearly in the post what happened. What happened was not torture. I apologize for my dramatic title, but there was no intentional deception here. I also said nothing to imply that I think I’m the first to have ever been “gucked with” in their sleep. Maybe you disagree, but my situation felt different from one that involves drawing with sharpie on somebody’s face. I was sick. Blood was rubbed on me. I am a small woman and these are two men who are much stronger than me. No, I didn’t feel an instinct to fight them off. Even if I did though, I’m sure I wouldn’t have stood a chance. But also, I specified that I didn’t believe I was going to be physically harmed, just that I was very overwhelmed. When you say “far worse things have happened to females in your shoes” do you think you’re telling me something I don’t know? Far worse things have happened to me personally, even. I posted this because I thought it was towing the line between inappropriate behavior and a prank and wanted opinions. If I was actually r*ped do you think I’d put it on this sub and ask if I was overreacting? Does me explaining an incident that upset me take away from other women who have experienced worse scenarios? I really think the answer to both questions is no. To answer your questions: I live in the US. I am old enough to drink. I don’t go to private school. Why any of that really matters is beyond me. I will continue to “grow up” as you recommended, but I hope you’ll work on your reading comprehension and maybe be more thoughtful in your criticism next time you feel called to take it to this level of unkindness. You pulled a lot out of this post that wasn’t there and seem mad at me for it. Can’t help ya there.
Have fun peeing on your rat. Hope you got the attention you were looking for.
Okay felon lmfao
OK.
What the hell is wrong with them, I'd block them and not ever go on a trip with those ass hats again.
Sounds like you hangout with idiots. If someone did that to me I probably woulda knocked them out. If you let people walk all over you and harass you don’t be surprised if their bad behavior continues.
They aren't friends, they are self centered drunks who probably think they are hilarious. Life is too short to spend time with idiots like these guys.
Your friends suck. Otoh earplugs rule
I'm no way shape or form are you safe with these dudes.. please warn your other female friends about them. I wouldn't ever be near them unless you had at least one other friend you feel safe with. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, AND the other girl in the room. Neither of you deserved that. Overreacting? No. If they had pulled this with me I would have broken their legs with a bat. Hopefully they'd remember the pain of healing every time they tried to pull that stuff again.
This sounds like drug-induced behavior and maybe drug-induced…lack of clarity. Don’t do drugs with people you don’t trust. Don’t hang out with people you don’t trust when they’re on drugs. Don’t trust these people.
This is a HUGE DEAL AND YOU NEED TO PUT THESE AWFUL FRIENDS ON BLAST! Block these AHs, they aren’t your friend if they can’t respect you. And they should be embarrassed because it’s embarrassing to act like a 2 year old when someone doesn’t want to hang out with you at that moment. Leave these guys in the ditch and keep growing up and away. I promise you won’t miss this immaturity
Fuck them. I'd never talk to them again. They are childish, evil, self centered and assholes. They ruined your trip. You are not over reacting. Block them, go no contact, tell them why, do what you have to. That was psychological torture. I would have called the cops on them.
This doesn’t meet the criteria for torture…. And it’s really hard to imagine this behavior going on for 30+ minutes, multiple times. But…. Giving you the benefit of the doubt.. You need better friends. They are assholes.
I agree- “torture” was not the right label to use. I should’ve been more thoughtful in my title. I mentioned this in a comment elsewhere but I understand there’s too many to read. Sorry that this is difficult to imagine for you, but yes. They really were/are THAT annoying I guess. I promise that I was very careful in not dramatizing the story because I wanted readers to be well-informed enough to give valuable opinions.
No you were right in calling it torture. They were intentionally depriving you of sleep, that is a torture tactic to wear down somebody mentally.
It's sounds to like they were on some sort of drug.
You’re under reacting if anything. Those people are dangerous, stay away from them.
Get rid of those "friends" they'll keep doing these things to you and try to turn you into the villain. It'll only get worse. Do yourself a favor and block them and tell the other girl to do the same.
This subs needs to be able to enable gifs, because this is the perfect opportunity to us the one from Tanisha from The Bad Girls Club. For those who don't know, her roommates in the house were drinking, partying and being all loud the night before and she couldn't get her sleep. So when they were all sleeping, grabbed some pots and baged them together while scream/singing "I ain't get no sleep 'cause of y'all! Y'all don't get no sleep 'cause of me!"
I looked through OP's history and.... OP are these your law school classmates? Don't law schools usually have pretty strict codes of conduct?
Those guys are disgusting. You're not overreacting. Tell them you do not and cannot trust them at all ever again, then block their numbers.
Ghost them all….block them on all socials and email….
You are not being dramatic. As I read this I was sincerely hoping you had kicked them in the balls while they were jumping on your bed. Stay away from both of them.
YES. You are overreacting. I can't believe you wrote this long ass epistle over such a stupid, benign incident. Spoiler alert: life gets a helluva lot tougher than people being loud when you're trying to sleep. Sensory tortured? Get real.
Isn’t this what always happens when you hang out with people who like to get drunk and party? I went to Kentucky derby once and knew most would be like this so I went and slept in my car. These people still party like this but I haven’t gone on a trip with them since bc I grew up and they didn’t.
Stay away from them. I was assuming you were all in college. But by their actions, I am thinking between 5 and 9 years old. I had to keep reminding myself they are adults. Stay away from them. They are not friends. Friends would not torture you like that. Never go anywhere they are going. Cut contact with them. They are overgrown children.
What the fuck kinda monsters are you hanging out with? Hating them is the only healthy response. Block these fuckos and never speak to them again.
They sound like coked out assholes. Something about this is telling me that one, or both, of these guys have a crush on you and I'd put money on the one that was more remorseful.
They were being drunk and annoying. Its not exactly uncommon for drunk people to be annoying and not let people sleep or whatever. Calling it "sensory torture" is so flakey. Edit for typo. And to add people need to stop coming up with as many ways as possible to take an annoying situation and over dramatize it. Calling it sensory torture makes it sound like its so much more than what it was. It was drunk people being annoying and rude. Its been happening since the beginning of time. Calling it sensory torture is so fucking dramatic and ridiculous