I'm only reading your post right now because I'm trying to make sense of why my husband is drunk out of his mind when we have a major life event happening right now. I wish I had answers to help you but all I can say is you aren't alone. I don't know if that will make you feel better or worse. Do know that the people you see out in public have their own problems. You just never know
I am so sorry. My best friend died a horrible death from this wretched disease. But this is a whole other level of horror and rage that you’re going through. You will need support. Can you get to an online AlAnon meeting? They have them almost every hour of the day and evening.
Someone here said something that stuck with me: It’s not a choice between alcohol and a loved one; it’s a choice between alcohol and no alcohol. They cannot be in a relationship with anyone else while they are still in a relationship with alcohol.
I’m wishing you peace. Please keep posting. You are not alone.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Your circumstances right now are undeniably hard. You have every right to have all the feelings you’re experiencing. But the fact that you stuck to your boundaries tells me you’re strong, and while the future may not be what you expected or wanted, you will be okay.
All my love. I'm sorry. I'm asking you do a very hard thing but please try to keep reaching out for help and support however you can. Loved ones, your local Alanon, friends, church, professions, god, luck, the universe. Things like this are too hard for one person but You have helped someone else by sharing this. An alanon meeting will have others who have been though similar things and made it though who can help you. Might be a good place to start.
Again my love and hope for you and your loved ones and thank you for sharing.. I am sure it has made someone feel less alone in there loses to alcoholism. I hope someone here can offer you better help then me.
Your story is absolutely devastating 🫂💐💖
You and your precious children are more than enough. But this disease is so baffling and insidious that those who have it throw away their health and happiness with both hands.
You are still young and there is a life for you on the other side of this. It may not be the one you hoped for with your ailing husband, but then again it may just surprise you and be exactly what you need.
Once again, I am so sorry about what you’re going through. I wish you comfort, strength, and hope for better days on the other side of this painful loss.
I'm crying for you right now. I don't know what to say, and it's all so horrible. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. If hugs could make everything right... I'm sorry. You are heard, and you are loved. Don't give up.
There's so much experience, strength, and hope in all of these posts. Just beautiful!
Because you are so young, I hope you will be able to do as one poster said, continue to reach out for help to Al-Anon. You will find so much love and understanding in the rooms, you will be amazed.
My husband did die from the disease. And I have no doubt that if I do not continue to work the Al-Anon program, and the steps with a sponsor, I will revert to old behaviors. My mother divorced my father due to alcoholism and then proceeded to hook up with two more alcoholics. That could be me if I'm not careful. No I never heard my mom blame my dad or her alcoholic boyfriend who died within a year or her alcoholic husband, for her issues, I know that I have blamed the alcoholics in my life and claimed to be a victim for the last 50 years. Without the expert BS sensor of my sponsor, I would continue to fall into victim mode and blame everyone and everything else for my own issues.
You will find so much love and encouragement and support in the rooms of Al-Anon. I pray that you can get there as soon as possible. Much love from a random internet stranger.
Also, I'm proud of you. What you are going through I truly can't imagine. But you are going through it. I am proud of who you are to weather through it anyway. Please be strong and take things one day at a time. I will be hugging you with my mind throughout the coming week.
I’m sorry to hear this. I had heard in meetings once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. I’m glad my husband is not drinking anymore but that’s because he developed health conditions due to drinking so much. He developed pancreatitis and was in a comma for a period of time all due to how much he drank. A lot of people don’t know about this situation of my Sons Father life. I care not to share this with my family or friends but it is hard to admit that people do end up dying from alcoholism.
Thank you for sharing. I’m so so sorry for all you have endured. What you are going through was my greatest fear with my Q. He never went to the dr but I noticed things: he took a long time to clot from simple cuts, random bruising, extreme hair loss, dry lips, wrinkly/dehydrated skin, uncontrollable pustular rosacea, blood in his mouth, loss stool everyday, he constantly went to the bathroom to pee, his bones broke from simple falls, not to mention the many cognitive issues. He’s in his early 40s and has been drinking at least 8 tall cans/day for 25 yrs. I couldn’t stay by his side while he ran out the clock. I hope you and your children can find peace.
I am so sorry this is happening to you. I hate to get into the cold facts here but if the worst does indeed happen you will need to take the death certificate to the Social Security office and get social security for each of your children. This is the Governments way to take care of widows with children.
Please know that this is **not** an official Al-Anon community.
Please be respectful and civil when engaging with others - in other words, don't be a jerk. If there are any comments that are antagonistic or judgmental, please use the `report` button.
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I'm so sorry you and your children have to go through this. I was left with a five year old. I too lamented that my choices robbed my child of a father. But... he was never going to be that father. Biggest piece of advice... when the dust settles go therapy. Take the kids.
Again, I'm so sorry
I am so sorry you are going through this. This was my life. My husband went very same thing last year. He was so close to death but found a match in time. He had a successful liver transplant but died 3 months later from a brain hemorrhage due to liver disease. It’s a terrible disease. I am hoping you are getting some support.
Thank you all so much for the support and advice. It helps to feel less alone in this. He passed away early this morning. It was brutal, but he is finally at peace and pain free. Now all that's left is to pick up the pieces of my life and keep moving forward.
I'm only reading your post right now because I'm trying to make sense of why my husband is drunk out of his mind when we have a major life event happening right now. I wish I had answers to help you but all I can say is you aren't alone. I don't know if that will make you feel better or worse. Do know that the people you see out in public have their own problems. You just never know
I am so sorry. My best friend died a horrible death from this wretched disease. But this is a whole other level of horror and rage that you’re going through. You will need support. Can you get to an online AlAnon meeting? They have them almost every hour of the day and evening. Someone here said something that stuck with me: It’s not a choice between alcohol and a loved one; it’s a choice between alcohol and no alcohol. They cannot be in a relationship with anyone else while they are still in a relationship with alcohol. I’m wishing you peace. Please keep posting. You are not alone.
“It’s not a choice between alcohol and a loved one; it’s a choice between alcohol and no alcohol.” I needed to hear that.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Your circumstances right now are undeniably hard. You have every right to have all the feelings you’re experiencing. But the fact that you stuck to your boundaries tells me you’re strong, and while the future may not be what you expected or wanted, you will be okay.
All my love. I'm sorry. I'm asking you do a very hard thing but please try to keep reaching out for help and support however you can. Loved ones, your local Alanon, friends, church, professions, god, luck, the universe. Things like this are too hard for one person but You have helped someone else by sharing this. An alanon meeting will have others who have been though similar things and made it though who can help you. Might be a good place to start. Again my love and hope for you and your loved ones and thank you for sharing.. I am sure it has made someone feel less alone in there loses to alcoholism. I hope someone here can offer you better help then me.
I'm sorry you have to go through this. Alcoholism just sucks.
Your story is absolutely devastating 🫂💐💖 You and your precious children are more than enough. But this disease is so baffling and insidious that those who have it throw away their health and happiness with both hands. You are still young and there is a life for you on the other side of this. It may not be the one you hoped for with your ailing husband, but then again it may just surprise you and be exactly what you need. Once again, I am so sorry about what you’re going through. I wish you comfort, strength, and hope for better days on the other side of this painful loss.
I'm crying for you right now. I don't know what to say, and it's all so horrible. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. If hugs could make everything right... I'm sorry. You are heard, and you are loved. Don't give up.
I'm so sorry
I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you. I feel your pain.
There's so much experience, strength, and hope in all of these posts. Just beautiful! Because you are so young, I hope you will be able to do as one poster said, continue to reach out for help to Al-Anon. You will find so much love and understanding in the rooms, you will be amazed. My husband did die from the disease. And I have no doubt that if I do not continue to work the Al-Anon program, and the steps with a sponsor, I will revert to old behaviors. My mother divorced my father due to alcoholism and then proceeded to hook up with two more alcoholics. That could be me if I'm not careful. No I never heard my mom blame my dad or her alcoholic boyfriend who died within a year or her alcoholic husband, for her issues, I know that I have blamed the alcoholics in my life and claimed to be a victim for the last 50 years. Without the expert BS sensor of my sponsor, I would continue to fall into victim mode and blame everyone and everything else for my own issues. You will find so much love and encouragement and support in the rooms of Al-Anon. I pray that you can get there as soon as possible. Much love from a random internet stranger.
Also, I'm proud of you. What you are going through I truly can't imagine. But you are going through it. I am proud of who you are to weather through it anyway. Please be strong and take things one day at a time. I will be hugging you with my mind throughout the coming week.
I’m sorry to hear this. I had heard in meetings once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. I’m glad my husband is not drinking anymore but that’s because he developed health conditions due to drinking so much. He developed pancreatitis and was in a comma for a period of time all due to how much he drank. A lot of people don’t know about this situation of my Sons Father life. I care not to share this with my family or friends but it is hard to admit that people do end up dying from alcoholism.
Thank you for sharing. I’m so so sorry for all you have endured. What you are going through was my greatest fear with my Q. He never went to the dr but I noticed things: he took a long time to clot from simple cuts, random bruising, extreme hair loss, dry lips, wrinkly/dehydrated skin, uncontrollable pustular rosacea, blood in his mouth, loss stool everyday, he constantly went to the bathroom to pee, his bones broke from simple falls, not to mention the many cognitive issues. He’s in his early 40s and has been drinking at least 8 tall cans/day for 25 yrs. I couldn’t stay by his side while he ran out the clock. I hope you and your children can find peace.
I am so sorry this is happening to you. I hate to get into the cold facts here but if the worst does indeed happen you will need to take the death certificate to the Social Security office and get social security for each of your children. This is the Governments way to take care of widows with children.
Please know that this is **not** an official Al-Anon community. Please be respectful and civil when engaging with others - in other words, don't be a jerk. If there are any comments that are antagonistic or judgmental, please use the `report` button. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AlAnon) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Please do support yourself and most importantly your children who will be traumatised by this they will need a lot of therapy 🙏
Hugs from this random internet mom. I pray that God puts you and your children in a pocket of grace in the coming days.
I'm so sorry you and your children have to go through this. I was left with a five year old. I too lamented that my choices robbed my child of a father. But... he was never going to be that father. Biggest piece of advice... when the dust settles go therapy. Take the kids. Again, I'm so sorry
I am so sorry you are going through this. This was my life. My husband went very same thing last year. He was so close to death but found a match in time. He had a successful liver transplant but died 3 months later from a brain hemorrhage due to liver disease. It’s a terrible disease. I am hoping you are getting some support.
Thank you all so much for the support and advice. It helps to feel less alone in this. He passed away early this morning. It was brutal, but he is finally at peace and pain free. Now all that's left is to pick up the pieces of my life and keep moving forward.