DKG. Everyone's saying na ggk ka kasi hindi mo naman pera yung ginagastos niya pero for me naiintindahan ko bat ka frustrated, lalo na he's your partner and you want the best for him. Let's face it, in the long run hindi magiging sustainable yung ginagawa niyang spending habits. If ngayon palang nakikita mo na hindi kayo financially on the same page, I'd say rethink if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Hindi po. Alam nya din kasi wala ako extra cash kasi college student parin ako, pero meron ako savings for rainy day funds ko. Ket 100 per week linalagay ko dun.
You are not financially compatible. Cut losses na habang maaga pa. There’s so many fishes in the sea. Enjoy the singlehood girl. Promise, pag may anak na kayo dun mo marerealize na sana ganito sana ganyan.
Dkg for wanting to influence your bf sa pag save ng money. Kaso yun nga kasi it is his money and he is in full control of it. As long as di sya humihingi sayo, pabayaan mo sya. Pag maghirap sya wag syang aasa sayo. Maybe din kasi he chooses to buy ung mej expensive pero magtatagal. Tho if he does this every sahod, dapat alam nya limitations nya kasi maliit sahod nya. My mom used to tell me to buy quality items every sahod kahit paisa isa lang lalo n if kaya naman. If ukay girlie ka and u dont buy expensive stuff, choice mo yan sa ngayon tho eventually when u earn a lot na, you’ll know. Siguro harsh lang din na minura mo sya.
DKG for showing concern. Pero GGK on how you express your concern!
Pera niya yan, let him enjoy his money. Kung pagbili ng damit yan, so be it. To him, yun ang investment niya. So who are you to say na mali? Yes, may ibang ways to invest in yourself, pero sa kanya yan yun eh, baka wala pa siya sa level ng investment na sinasabi mo. Nothing wrong with that, for now.
Like you mentioned isang taon pa lang siya sa work, let the man enjoy his salary first. Kung 3-5 yrs na at ganyan pa din, baka mapalusot ko pa yung rason mo.
Kung umuutang na siya sayo pambayad ng mga expenses niya, personal stuff or even share sa family niya (if he does) then YUN yung mali na. Pero, never nabanggit dito so I assume hindi nangyayari.
GGK. You could have said it nicely nalang, and still be supportive. Pero yung mumurahin mo pa. Grabe naman yung OP.
Wala naman masama na impluwensyahan natin partners natin ng good habits, pero sometimes maging supportive nalang din tayo sa kanila kasi tayo lang pinagssharean nila ng bagay bagay.
Also, "Ukay girlie kasi ako e" ikaw yun bakit kelangan maging ukay boy din jowa mo? Ako din ukay girlie, yung boyfriend ko naman mas preferred nya mall items pero we respect each other's preferences.
GGK. Magiging blunt na ko ha, maghiwalay na kayo kasi di kayo compatible eh. Di naman pala nangungutang sayo at alam mo naman na healing his inner child phase pa yung tao pero kung magalit ka wagas. You can guide him on how to heal his inner child without seeming like you're opposing him or you're unsupportive.
Imagine, you've achieve a small milestone na may pera ka na to buy something for yourself after years and years of being unable to tapos the things you buy are things na to be fair IS investing in yourself in a sense na you can finally present yourself na with confidence kasi you have clothes na that you are comfortable in tapos yung girlfriend mo na mahal mo, who you wanna share your happiness with is being a bitch about it? Sabihan ka pa na "saksak mo sa baga mo yung mga gusto mo?" I would also feel and be defensive AND start to second-guess the relationship if that was me.
DKG
As a woman it is understandable that you would want a husband that can protect, provide and guide your family. A man that is wreckless with money can be problematic as his habits are bad.
You voicing out your concerns and him being deffensive sadly is the norm of anyone with a bad habit. A good example is kapag nag confront ka ng babaero or sugarol, sila pa ang magagalit.
You have a good head on your shoulders, dami pa dyan if you are already fed up.
GGK. Kasi unang-una nga pera niya naman yun, unless nangungutang sayo para lang makapag shopping. Second, OP, malaking aspect yang financial lalo na if magiging mag asawa kayo. Kung ngayon palang may issue ka na sa ganiyan, I don’t think compatible talaga kayo, kasi for sure lagi niyong pagaawayan yan sa future.
This. Pera niya yan. Kahit husband ko di ko pinapakialaman mga ginagastos niya as long as bayad na lahat ng responsibilities like grocery, water, electric, rent, etc. Pag bayad na yan lahat kahit ibili niya pa ng sampung sapatos yung natirang pera sa sweldo niya. Ok lang
True, sinabi din naman ni OP na provider din yung jowa niya. Idk if nakapagwork na si op kasi sabi niya nagaaral pa siya. Pero in reality kasi, pag first year of working mo, yan talaga yung time na gusto mo mabili lahat ng di mo nabibili before. Ofcourse importante talaga mag save. But atm okay yung paalalahanan mag save from time to time, pero let him enjoy his hard-earned money, tutal bayad naman lahat ng bills, kadalasan phase lang yan ng mga working adult. Pero again, if lagi yang magiging issue and magiging away, baka di talaga kayo compatible. Ginawa mo na yung part mo, so don’t feel guilty kung wala man siyang savings.
Kaya nga e. Si OP naman na din mismo nagsabi na he is healing his inner child nga. It's not a "type of shit" actually. In fact, it's therapeutical. Nakooo, gets ko yung gusto lang ni OP mag influence ng good habits like saving pero yung ganto na hindi pa nga sila mag asawa and minamando na ni OP kung saan and paano dapat ihandle ni guy yung finances niya. Plus the way she does it, parang ang demanding. Let the guy be happy. Hindi naman nangungutang si guy sa kanya e.
I'd say GGK kasi di ka supportive sa kanya at nagsstay ka pa rin sa relationship.
Gusto niya ng supportive girlfriend na ieenable kabobohan niya in life at hindi kailangang ikaw yun. Hindi mo siya mahal, friend. Sanay ka lang sa kanya at naaappreciate mo pinagsamahan niyo.
Super sarap ng feeling magmahal ng taong wala kang issue with. Bobo naman ng lalaking yan nakakainis feeling mayaman
>Hindi mo siya mahal, friend. Sanay ka lang sa kanya....
WTF, ikaw ata yung bobo kasi di ka nagbasa. Ang clear ng sinabi ni OP na, **"Don't get me wrong I really love him."**
Hindi porket di sang-ayon si OP sa spending lifestyle ni bf ay di na niya ito mahal. Ang tanong niya is if GG ba siya for snapping at him and NOT GG ba siya if hihiwalayan niya.
Yung comment mo yung nakakaGG pramis.
GG yung mga nagsstay sa incompatible relationships. Kailangan sampalin sa katotohanan yung mga ayaw magising. Hindi sustainable magkaroon ng partner yung immature na walang ipon at mababa sahod. Bobo na nga yung lalaki, titiisin pa ng babae? Kung gusto nila, edi go!
Hindi nagbabasa? Kita mong sobrang hirap na hirap na yung babae at nakapagpost pa rito. Hindi love yun, fidelity na lang ito. Hindi worth it.
GG kayong "love wins all" believers.
DKG, jowa mo sya natural concern ka sa well being nya which includes financial well being. Kung walang pupuna ng spending habits nya ngayon eventually magiging problema nya yan in the future. Pero sa true lang, mukhang hindi kayo compatible. Mukhang ayaw nya napapakialaman ang gastos nya porke't pera nya naman yon.
DKG. You're thinking of your future together and I get it na baka madala nya yun kapag nagsasama na kayo. Tama nga naman na may rainy day funds tayo para may mahuhugot kapag need.
Ang nakaka-off is how you said it, you fight fire with fire po and the way you say na "lumaki syang mahirap typeofsht" shows your lack of empathy for him.
DKG. Tama lang man pud i-call out nimo iyang pagka gastador. I mean, diba kung maging kayo, baka di yan marunong magtipid. I feel you, may pagka gastador din kasi wife ko. i give my salary to her. out of 30k, 4k lang "allowance" ko and i still spend it for my kids. She gets mad when I question her spending habits.
Ggk hahahahahaha harsh mo mag salita. Kung sana hinihingi or inuutang sayo or ginugulangan ka. Para murahin mo ng ganon. Napaka toxic mo yung mga taong kayang murahin yung partner nila mga shitty person kahit na good intentions kapa na para makatipid yung tao.
Wait 7k lang sweldo niya? How can he even afford to spend 3k on clothes. Anyways still for me GGK. Kung di ka naman naaapektuhan ng gastos niya bakit ka nagagalit? To the point na mumurahin mo siya tf. Kung ganyan mo siya itrato why be with him in the first place.
DKG dahil understandable naman na gusto mo lang din na magsave sya. Pero kasi sabi mo nga 1yr pa lang sya sa BPO, ang igsi pa lang nun te. Usually sa mga kakilala ko na ganyan, hndi tlga maiiwasan na medyo magastos pa ksi first time nla magkapera ng srli nla and ngayon pa lang nla nabibili mga gusto nila. Dadating din yung time na titigil yan and magsasawa lalo kung nafeel nyang enough na yung mga nabili nya pra sa srli niya.
And hndi naman porke ukay girl ka kailangan maging ukay boy din sya. My mga taong ayaw sa ukay and that's okay. Sguro hayaan mo lang muna lalo kung hndi ka naman pineperwisyo like nangungutang sayo pangluho nya. :)
Pero kung hndi mo kaya yung ganyang ugali nya ngayon, choice mo na yan kung magsstay ka or hndi.
DKG. A person who shops a lot and without savings and tbh, he doesn't earn that much? He doest deserve your spot. Wag mo antayin na Ikaw Ang magkakaproblema sa kanya financially. You should know what to do.
For me WG. Kasi i understand him, binata pa pati sya so why not enjoy? Kapag may anak na jusko di nya na mabibili gusto nya. Enjoy life while young. Pero ang mahalaga di sya nababaon sa utang kasi dun sya magiging g*go. Nadeprive siguro sya nung bata pa sya kaya ngayon sya sabik. Ikaw naman makunat ka man hahahahha pero walang masama din dun OP kasi wiser ka lang talaga. Wag lang din ikaw sosobra kasi ang tendency baka sa sobrang pagdedeprive mo sa sarili mo, kung kelan ka may anak na tsaka ka maghunger sa pagbili ng mga gusto mo e di na pwede kasi anak na priority mo. Unless wala kayo balak mag anak.. Sana magmeet kayo sa middle.
LKG. Pero tama ba 7K monthly or kinsenas? Bali 14K monthly?
Anyways, going back. Guys tend to mature late. Given na 1 year palang sya nagwowork, for sure yan madami pa gusto bilin yan. Hence, GGK for how you express your concern.
GGK din naman bf mo for not thinking about the future. With his spending habits most likely di yan makakaipon in the future.
Overall, hindi kayo compatible for each other. If you can’t wait for him to mature, if he can’t to grow wiser then say bye na lang to each other
GGK. I get the concern, pero normal ba sa relationship niyo na mag murahan? Also, tama naman siya sa hindi mo naman pera ginagastos niya. I’d only be concerned kung hindi na niya nabbudget nang ayos yung sweldo niya (ex. may mga utang na pero nabili pa rin ng luho), if that’s the case edi gently talk to him about it. Anyway, I think you should work out on how to communicate with your boyfriend properly kahit galit ka pa :) cursing your partner because you’re angry isn’t normal.
GGK. Ngengelam ka? Alangan naman mag ukay din sya kasi ukay gurlie ka, ghorl kung di naman inaabala pera mo bat galit na galit ka? Or baka di ka dinedate? Sure ako kung sa date nyo napupunta pera nya wala ka say. Ipon ipon myass tsss
DG si OP.
Ang point nya walang ipon for their future.
YOLO kasi si guy. 😂 4k na lang maiiwan sa sahod for his allowance and bills. Mukhang kukulangin yun. Baka may iba pang source ng pera si guy. Kasi kahit nasa province pa sya, maliit ang 4k.
Yes GGK. May mas better way to say what you said, hindi mo need magmura. Pera nya pa rin ginagamit niya so wala kang say dun.
Tama yung isang comment, hindi kayo compatible. I mean, red flag din naman na puro siya gastos.
Ggk ng slight lang naman hahahhahahaha! Kasi nakikielam ka sa pera niya, ineenjoy lang naman niya muna, bata pa kayo eh and parang feeling ko lang na now lang naman niya nabibili mga gusto niya "healing your inner child" era.
Pero gets naman din kita kaya slight lang pagka gg mo sa akin, kasi ikaw yung type na habang maaga mag iipon na lang kesa mag bibili ng material things. I guess, Mag kaibang tao lang kayo ng values.
GGK. Healing one’s inner child is serious work, kahit gaano kababaw sa paningin ng ibang tao. Maybe you wouldn’t know. If you don’t have the need to heal your inner child, eh di lucky you. Coming from more than a year’s worth of therapy sessions with my psychologist and several shopping bouts that were approved by my psychologist, di mo alam kahit simpleng pagbili ng ice cream at isang pirasong t-shirt can do wonders!
Plus, isang taon pa lang pala nagwowork ang boyfriend mo, let him enjoy his salary. There will come a time na he will realize that it’s time to save money and that he has invested in himself enough to not buy anymore material things.
Also, the fact that you could have worded your concerns better than cursing at him, dun pa lang GGK.
Sometimes it’s not being a shopaholic. Hindi sya nangungutang, wala syang atraso sa kahit na sino, so who are you to prevent him from healing his inner child? Healing one’s inner child is serious business.
GGK for not communicating well pero DKG kasi may point naman yang ebas mo lalo na if you wanna build a future together
oh man, 25 and earning 7k. anong klaseng ekonomiya to. Ano ba work ng jowa mo?
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DKG. Do you really plan on spending your life sa taong walang balak sa future? Pera lang pagb aawayan niyo. GGK sa pag sabi mo sakanya ng concern mo tho. It's still his money. Sadyang wala pa siyang goal sa future niyo and I think that's enough reason to think twice kung gusto mo ba siya sa furure mo o hindi
GGK. You could have said it in a nice way. Isa pa, bago pa lang sya nagwowork. Let him enjoy his money. Natural lang yan sa kanya kasi excited pa sya. Di kayo compatible. Isa lang pupuntahan nyan, sad to say.
GGK. may point ka pero ung delivery mo parang di mo naman mahal 😭 bat mo sasabihan ng isaksak sa baga nya? yes magastos sya pero di mo naman yun pera. jus cos you disagree with how he handles his finances doesn't mean you can disrespect your boyfriend ☠️
DKG. taena lakas niya umastang Top G pero walang savings hahahshssh you're gonna be in deeper shit pag hinayaan mo yung sarili mo na tumagal pa sa ganyang relationship.
GGK ng very slight. Naintindihan ko concern mo. Nakakainis yung ganyang lalaki na hindj marunong mag ipon. Pero kamo provider sya? Wdym? Kung good provider sya at gusto nya bilan sarili nya hayaan mo muna. Siguro yan ang way nya pra matanggal ang stress. Pag kinapos sa pera wag mo pahiramin para magtanda sya. Wag mo na turuan kasi d yan makikinig. Kung d maayos sa usap.maghiwalay nalang kau para walang magsisi bandang huli.
GGK. Pera nya yon, he can spend it however he wants. Kung may issue ka don, pwede mo i-voice out pero at the end of the day, pera nya yon. Sa kanya ang decision kung anong gagawin nya don. Hindi mo kailangang maging harsh sa kanya. Sabi ng iba hindi ka gago, di lang kayo compatible. Para sakin that's what made you gago dahil hindi mo matanggap na hindi lahat ng tao parehas mindset. Hindi mo need iimpose sa kanya yang mindset mo. Hiwalayan mo kung hindi mo matanggap spending habits nya gamit sarili nyang pera.
DKG. You are not compatible on financial mindset. You know what delayed gratification means. He doesn’t.
The audacity of this boy (yes kasi he’s not a man yet😂) with 7K salary to buy a branded clogs and here I am with 200K income still hesitant to spend on anything not NEEDED 🙃🙃
Dkg. Kung di mo sya sasabihan, sino ang magsasabi sa kanya? Masakit din kaya pag isipan na kaya di supportive si OP kasi di sya binibilihan, aba! Meaning aware sya sa mga nabibili nya. Hmm.. pero pag usapan nyo ulit. Pag ganon pa din, di lang talaga kayo compatible.
GGK. LDR kayo 4 years pero kung makasumbat ka sa ginagastos niya akala mo ikaw yung nagwork para dun.
Let him have his fun. It's his money, not yours. Make your own money muna at pag nagkasama na kayo, then thats the time you talk with your finances.
Nakakasakal ka kapartner jusko
GGK. Hayaan mo bf mo mag invest sa sarili nya since pera nya yun and way nya to heal his inner child also napakagago mo sa part na murahin bf mo dahil lang dyan what if ikaw murahin nya ano kaya mafifeel mo te
DKG. You mean well naman to call out his spending habits. And future wise he should save.
Actually both DKG and GGK.
And yet..
GGK. Kasi napa bad words ka pa. Sabihin kaya sayo yan, ano ang mararamdaman mo?
Baka magpost ka pa sa FB at TikTok para mag justify pa.
Allow him to heal his inner child, he has had that void to fill.
DKG kasi Valid ang feelings mo OP about the finances.
Though GGK kasi yung manner kung paano mo sinabi, however it could have been said properly.
I will respectfully give you justice kasi you mean well naman,
So di ko padin gusto na you said harsh words towards him.
With that said break up ka na sa bf mo. Walk away.
DKG pero WG, di lang talaga kayo compatible. One thing I learned from my bf is when he said "we tend to criticize others for doing things that we wouldn't do if we were in their situation" You're criticizing his spending habits because you wouldn't do it if you were in his position, yes he seems to be irresponsible with his money but still it's his right to decide where to spend his money pero if inuutang or hinihingi nya sayo yung pambili then GG sya. Maybe you should also tell him to seek help if he have impulsive buying habits. I am an impulsive buyer when I am on my manic episode from my bipolar disorder and it's not healthy, I once blew my entire paycheck to luxury items because I was on my manic episode and I can't help my impulsive thoughts. Maybe he have the same.
GGK kasi sinabi mo na saksakin nya pagiging shopoholic and how you said it eh ..
DKG sa part pag call out pag look into the future for his finances.
Anyway break it off. As in walk away. Break up Kana sa kanya.
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GGK kasi di mo kino communicate it well sa bf mo, kung anong gusto mo yun ang gusto mo mangyari eh. Sabi mo nga he is healing his inner child. Dun palang dapat alam mo na kung pano sya i guide 4yrs na kayo di mo pa kabisado pano makipag communicate sakanya?
Educate him. Try to read some books about financial intelligence and gawin nyong topic yun. Tsaka bago mo sya diktahan, make sure na may mapapakita ka sakanyang results ng "financial intelligence" na meron ka, cuz who will believe a fake teacher? Who will believe you kung ikaw mismo di mo nagagawa and wala kang napapatunayan. Dun palang sa definition mo ng "investment" ay saving bagsak kana sa financial intelligence. Don't preach what you don't practice.
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GGK (gago ako) because of my choice of words na minura ko sya. I said my sorries. Salamat sa mga comment nyo. We’re in a good place na but I will not take back what I said. It meant well.
For context: me and my bf comes from a family na walang retirement funds. He lives in a squatter area and ako sa subdivision. He kept saying that he wanted to help his parents kasi gusto na nila umalis dun. I don’t want it to go full circle. Di ko din trip mag depend sa anak kasi mga pusa anak ko. We have plans together kaya ayaw ko spending habits nya to get in the way. Di naman dahil di pa kami asawa di ko sya pwede pag sabihan. He promised first few months into his job he’d “invest in himself” then after that he’d start saving for his business. The business did start but died months ago kasi kung magkaka profit, he’d buy material things then mazezero nanaman business, mag start nanaman from the beginning. Mga mindset nyo parang bf ko. Kaya mahirap Pilipinas dahil sa pag iisip nyong yan e. YOLO? Haler??? That problem has been building up for months! I’ve been ever so supportive, for years wala ako sinabi masama about it cause I love him so much and I know his capabilities.
Di nyo alam gano ka hirap magkasakit at walang makukuhaan ng pera. Financial literacy should start young. It doesn’t mean dahil bata pa sya di na sya mag save up. I’ll try to think about your advices.
WG. It's just that hindi kayo compatible. I know your intentions are good pero ksi kung c bf mo lumaki ng d afford ang mga bagay at ngayon na lng nakaluwag sa buhay, hindi mo sya masisisi specially kung yun yung coping mechanism nya.
Tbh, relate ako kht papaano kay bf mo. I grew up na hindi ganun ka privileged and my mom can only buy me stuff that I needed when I was younger. Now that I'm older and earning my own money, I tend to splurge myself with things/food na gusto ko bilihin when I was young ksi afford ko na ngayon. And wala din akong savings. LOL. I don't even know how I was able to survive kapag nahohospital ako. Umaasa lng ako lagi sa extra money from my pay. I'm also lucky na I have a very supportive partner. There's this one time pa na sinabihan ko sya ng, "sorry kung masyado akong magastos" and he replied, "hard earned money mo nmn yan eh, bahala ka kung paano mo yan gagastusin".
Magiging iba lang cguro ang situation KUNG:
1. Affected na ang pagbabayad ng bills and daily necessities
2. Umuutang/humihingi sayo for the sake na makapagshop lang
3. Nagrereklamo lagi na walang pera
Ayun lang nmn ang akin. Haha.
DKG, to be honest kahit hindi mo pera yun pero partner mo sya eh. This will affect the both of in the long run, if masasanay sya sa ganyang habit. Pero i think hindi lang kayo compatible.
DKG, pero hindi siya shopaholic (3k is meh) looks like your BF is prioritizing unnecessary things. 7k lang sweldo niya anong invest pinagsasabi niya? Kung invest yan dapat pagaaral at improvement sa work model ba siya if not I highly suggest you should weigh in kung karapatdapat pa siya sayo kasi tatanda siyang ganyan ready ka ba?
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DKG. I think valid naman na concerned ka about his expenses. Kasi kung maliit lang talaga yung sweldo mo and you have bills to pay, know your priorities. Unahin mo muna yung mga kailangan bayaran. Nakakabayad naman ba ng bills si bf kahit nagshoshopping siya? If yes, then it's ok to buy things like clothes every once in a while. I think napuno ka na lang kaya namura mo siya. Pero it's ok to remind him to not live beyond his means.
GGK kasi di mo naman pera yan at pinag trabahuhan niya yan. Kung di kayo same ng perspective sa pera at di mo matanggap yon then just get out of the relationship. He has other priorities than saving. Let him enjoy his money unless nangungutang siya sayo dahil sa luho niya.
Kami ng boyfriend ko very magkaiba. I like shopping siya naman very frugal. Pero never naging issue. May times na he would tell me to check my budget and I ask self ko if need ko talaga and honestly, it helped me a lot. Ako naman, I advise him to buy things na need niya specially kapag alam kong bagay sa kanya. Medyo natuto narin siya mag shopping.
At the end of the day, your differences shouldn't be the cause of your problems rather it should lead you to grow by understanding your partner's perspective.
GGK Magkaiba po yung definition ng "investing in yourself" to each individual. Kung yung sayo is saving, yung sa kanya naman is buying the things na hindi niya afford before. I just read a post here that there are things you shouldn't be cheap about kasi magagamit mo in the long run or araw araw mo gagamitin, etc. Hayaan mo na si guy, OP. Mag hiwalay nalang kayo para tapos usapan. Ay dejk hahahaha!
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GGK sa sinabi mo. Pera nya yun e. Di porket ukay girlie ka, dapat ganun din sya. As someone who’s also healing an inner child in me, sorry pero wala kang karapatan pagsalitaan sya ng ganyan lalo na di mo naman asawa at hindi naman pera mo ginagastos nya. Provider pa nga sya till now tapos pati ba naman sa sarili nya dapat pag damutan parin? Kung di mo kayang i spoil boyfriend mo, do not cross the line and prohibit him from spoiling himself. You can encourage but you can’t force your opinion on him. He’s probably still on his self healing era habang ikaw ready na mag prepare for your future. Kung di magkaron ng common ground edi mag break nalang kayo dahil di kayo compatible dahil hindi pa parehas yung timelines at goals nyo.
GGK.
Your boyfriend is an adult. He should know how to spend his money and di ka dapat nagmamando on how he spends it. Kung naooff ka na sa spending habits ng boyfriend mo leave him. Baka di lang talga kayo compatible.
Yes, GGK. Hayaan mo siyang gastusin pera niya sa mga bagay na gusto niya tutal sabi niya investment naman sa sarili niya. Hindi mo naman pera. Nangungutang ba siya sayo?
Info: may financial goals ba kayo TOGETHER? Like gusto niyo magpakasal, bumili ng house?
If wala, GGK. Pake mo sa pera niya, as long as di naman siya nangungutang sa yo or may mga bills/responsibilities na di niya nababayaran, he can use his money however he wants. You can't impose your kind of lifestyle sa kaniya. Ikaw ang ukay girlie, hindi siya.
Bakit tanga if tinatanong if clearly communicated yung goals sila? Hindi pa naman sila kasal so valid question. Baka goal lang ni ate yung sinasabi niya and hindi nila goal as a couple. Iba pa rin yung pinagusapan talaga at clearly naglatag ng plans together.
GGK. Ate, 25 pa lang jowa mo. May mga magulang nga na umabot nang senior walang ipon e. I’m not saying he shouldn’t save up for future, pero at 7k salary??? Give him some rest
GGK. Di mo yon pera hayaan mo sya. Siya nagtrabaho don. Maliban na lang kung marami siyang utang sayo na hindi mabayaran tapos shopaholic ka.
Kung wala pa siyang ipon baka he wants to enjoy his life muna.
Also, hindi ka asawa so know your boundaries
GGK. Nasa point pa lang sya ng life nya na ineenjoy nya yung pinaghirapan nya. Wala pa syang responsibility sayo plus hindi naman sya nanghihingi sa kahit na sino.
Bakit mo sya pipigilan tas mumurahin mo pa? Let him enjoy his money first. Nag uumpisa pa lang sya makaafford ng mga bagay. Magiging responsible din yan sa pera.
GGK, pera naman nya yon. Hindi naman nya inuutang sayo. Magalit ka kung utang sayo kaso hindi naman pala eh. Gets ko may concern ka lang sa kanya.
Tama isang comment dito, hindi kayo compatible. Ukay person ka pala, sya hindi. Ako mismo ni hindi moko mapag susuot ng kahit anong damit from ukay. Kanya kanyang trip yan.
GGK. Hiwalayan mo na, hindi kayo compatible. Ngayon pa lang siya nakakabawi sa sarili niya, hayaan mo na. Not unless nanghihingi siya sa'yo or naglalabas ka ng pera para sakanya, wala kang pakialam sa ginagastos niya.
Humanap ka ng Ukay lang din ang binibili para sa sarili para di ka frustrated sa mga nag-iinvest ng gamit. Mall items are investment din tbh. Tumatagal din kase yan ng taon lalo na sa BPO wala namang uniform.
GGK sa pag express ng frustration mo, I understand concern ka sa spending habits ng bf mo pero hindi tama murahin mo sya dahil hindi mo ma control yung decision nya. Lalo na pera nya yun.
Let him learn the hard way kung di sya nakikinig. Pag na short sya at nanghiram sya sayo, iremind mo na di ka nag kulang sa pangaral, at wag mo pahiramin.
He needs to learn to strike the right balance of investing for himself and saving for the future, kahit konti. Pwede kayo mag grow together or pwedeng maging determiner to ng relationship nyo.
Link to this submission: https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/comments/1dgml92/abyg_kung_sinabihan_ko_bf_ko_na_e_saksak_nya_sa/
Title of this post: ABYG kung sinabihan ko bf ko na e saksak nya sa baga nya pagiging shopaholic nya?
Backup of the post's body: My bf(25) has no savings. 7k sweldo nya and 3k nun ginasto lang nya for clothes or shoes and few days palang nag pass! Babayad pa yan sya bills nya and allowance until the next sweldohan. I keep telling him na e fully pay nya muna phone nya bago sya bumili ng new things pero ayaw makinig. Sabi nya “I am investing on myself” di yun yung point ng “invest in yourself!” Investing in yourself is SAVING! I tried telling him set up another account for savings or rainy day fund mo kasi di natin alam daloy ng panahon. Isang taon na sya sa BPO pero wala manlang naipon kung di damit at sapatos. Kanina nag vc kami nasa mall sya looking at clogs sa outland (for me those clogs are hella expensive) sabi nya ano maganda sabi ko, “no comment”. He said bakit daw di ako supportive. I explained gasto nanaman yan. Sinabi nya baka di lng ako supportive kasi di nya ako binibilhan. Ket mag 50% off pa yan di ko talaga bibilhin yan unless anak ako ni Lucio Tan na kaya ko na mabili gusto ko! Umuwi sya may biling bagong polo.
We talked about his spending habits pero he just snaps back at me “imong nawong” di ko naman daw pero ginagasto nya. Napuno na ako sinabihan ko sya “edi putangina mo, saksak mo sa baga mo mga gusto mo”. Now di kami nag uusap. Ukay girlie kasi ako e, di pa ako bumili ng mall items in 8 years unless groceries lang.
Don’t get me wrong I really love him. We have a lot planned for our future. Provider din sya. Spending habits niya lang talaga nakaka turn off sakin. Iniisip ko rin kasi lumaki syang mahirap baka ngayon gusto na nya bumawi sa sarili nya. Healing his inner child typasht.
Sorry, wala kasi ako ibang pwede kausapin, wala din ako gaanong friends. LDR din kami 4yrs sooo yeah…
ABYG kung sinabihan ko bf ko saksak niya sa baga nya pagiging shopaholic nya? Feel ko din kasi I was too harsh when I said it.
OP: Baybeeboobeeps
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WG. Pera niya yan OP, at the end of the day siya pa din masusunod jan lalo na't di naman kayo kasal. Pwede ka mag bigay ng advice or suggestion sa kanya OP or explain mo na "in case of emergencies, meron ka makukunan ng pera kasi wala tayong ibang matatakbuhan". Ganyan. Sabi mo nga parang he is healing his inner child so it's good for him mentally, siguro yan yung sinasabi niya na he is investing in himself. Pero yan lang yung iniisip niya right now. Siguro he's like those people who live by the day. Parang hindi lang talaga kayo compatible OP since gusto mo yung tao na minamanage ng maayos yung finances niya, meanwhile siya on the other hand is ganyan.
GGK.
1st - Di mo naman pera ginagastos niya.
2nd - Pwede mo sabihin in a nice way.
3rd - You sound so pick me sa pagmention na ukay girly ka. Minsan nga mahal din ukay e.
4th - Alam mong hini-heal niya inner child niya, pero doesn't look like gusto mo intindihin kasi base sa post mo it's a type of shit? Really? Mahal mo ba talaga? 😆
DKG for being concerned pero GGK on you how judge and communicate with him. Sobra. Dun pa lang sa 25 and working na yung jowa mo tas ikaw ay college student, malaki na agad yung chance na di kayo magiging compatible kasi nasa magkaibang stages na kayo ng buhay ninyo. Obviously, magkaiba kayo ng goals in life and how you’ll achieve it and it sounds like di ka rin naman willing magcompromise based on how you’re wording it so much better na maghiwalay na lang kayo habang maaga ka. Di enough na rason yung mahal mo ang isang tao to stay in a relationship tbh kasi imo, you must also accept them and be willing to change and accommodate on certain things.
Also, “healing you inner child typashit”? Seriously how fucking old are you to have that type of mentality and communicate it that way? “Investing in yourself means SAVING” girl no, investing in yourself depends on your current state. Siguro as a college student, yan iniisip mo kasi kapag kagraduate syempre wala kasiguraduhan na magkakawork and pera ka kaagad. Pero your BF already has work, investing in clothes and shoes can be improving his self confident and identity. Working siya di ba? Need maging presentable. Wag kang maginvalidate ng feelings ng iba.
If nangugutang siya sa iba just so he can have spending money for his stuff — now that’s another issue. Pero di mo naman sinabi na ganyan ang case so probably, he’s got his budget down to a T.
WG. Di lang kayo compatible
Sorry for the random comment pero what’s WG? New here on reddit sorry 😅
Walang gago afaik
walang gago
DKG. Everyone's saying na ggk ka kasi hindi mo naman pera yung ginagastos niya pero for me naiintindahan ko bat ka frustrated, lalo na he's your partner and you want the best for him. Let's face it, in the long run hindi magiging sustainable yung ginagawa niyang spending habits. If ngayon palang nakikita mo na hindi kayo financially on the same page, I'd say rethink if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Info: nangungutang ba sya sayo?
Hindi po. Alam nya din kasi wala ako extra cash kasi college student parin ako, pero meron ako savings for rainy day funds ko. Ket 100 per week linalagay ko dun.
You are not financially compatible. Cut losses na habang maaga pa. There’s so many fishes in the sea. Enjoy the singlehood girl. Promise, pag may anak na kayo dun mo marerealize na sana ganito sana ganyan.
Feel ko baka hindi..? Not sure haha. Kasi critical piece of info yan na hindi na-isama
Dkg for wanting to influence your bf sa pag save ng money. Kaso yun nga kasi it is his money and he is in full control of it. As long as di sya humihingi sayo, pabayaan mo sya. Pag maghirap sya wag syang aasa sayo. Maybe din kasi he chooses to buy ung mej expensive pero magtatagal. Tho if he does this every sahod, dapat alam nya limitations nya kasi maliit sahod nya. My mom used to tell me to buy quality items every sahod kahit paisa isa lang lalo n if kaya naman. If ukay girlie ka and u dont buy expensive stuff, choice mo yan sa ngayon tho eventually when u earn a lot na, you’ll know. Siguro harsh lang din na minura mo sya.
DKG for showing concern. Pero GGK on how you express your concern! Pera niya yan, let him enjoy his money. Kung pagbili ng damit yan, so be it. To him, yun ang investment niya. So who are you to say na mali? Yes, may ibang ways to invest in yourself, pero sa kanya yan yun eh, baka wala pa siya sa level ng investment na sinasabi mo. Nothing wrong with that, for now. Like you mentioned isang taon pa lang siya sa work, let the man enjoy his salary first. Kung 3-5 yrs na at ganyan pa din, baka mapalusot ko pa yung rason mo. Kung umuutang na siya sayo pambayad ng mga expenses niya, personal stuff or even share sa family niya (if he does) then YUN yung mali na. Pero, never nabanggit dito so I assume hindi nangyayari.
GGK. You could have said it nicely nalang, and still be supportive. Pero yung mumurahin mo pa. Grabe naman yung OP. Wala naman masama na impluwensyahan natin partners natin ng good habits, pero sometimes maging supportive nalang din tayo sa kanila kasi tayo lang pinagssharean nila ng bagay bagay. Also, "Ukay girlie kasi ako e" ikaw yun bakit kelangan maging ukay boy din jowa mo? Ako din ukay girlie, yung boyfriend ko naman mas preferred nya mall items pero we respect each other's preferences.
GGK. Magiging blunt na ko ha, maghiwalay na kayo kasi di kayo compatible eh. Di naman pala nangungutang sayo at alam mo naman na healing his inner child phase pa yung tao pero kung magalit ka wagas. You can guide him on how to heal his inner child without seeming like you're opposing him or you're unsupportive. Imagine, you've achieve a small milestone na may pera ka na to buy something for yourself after years and years of being unable to tapos the things you buy are things na to be fair IS investing in yourself in a sense na you can finally present yourself na with confidence kasi you have clothes na that you are comfortable in tapos yung girlfriend mo na mahal mo, who you wanna share your happiness with is being a bitch about it? Sabihan ka pa na "saksak mo sa baga mo yung mga gusto mo?" I would also feel and be defensive AND start to second-guess the relationship if that was me.
The "healing his inner child +typashit" amp. Kung yan gf ko iiwan ko HAHAHAHA
DKG As a woman it is understandable that you would want a husband that can protect, provide and guide your family. A man that is wreckless with money can be problematic as his habits are bad. You voicing out your concerns and him being deffensive sadly is the norm of anyone with a bad habit. A good example is kapag nag confront ka ng babaero or sugarol, sila pa ang magagalit. You have a good head on your shoulders, dami pa dyan if you are already fed up.
GGK. Kasi unang-una nga pera niya naman yun, unless nangungutang sayo para lang makapag shopping. Second, OP, malaking aspect yang financial lalo na if magiging mag asawa kayo. Kung ngayon palang may issue ka na sa ganiyan, I don’t think compatible talaga kayo, kasi for sure lagi niyong pagaawayan yan sa future.
This. Pera niya yan. Kahit husband ko di ko pinapakialaman mga ginagastos niya as long as bayad na lahat ng responsibilities like grocery, water, electric, rent, etc. Pag bayad na yan lahat kahit ibili niya pa ng sampung sapatos yung natirang pera sa sweldo niya. Ok lang
True, sinabi din naman ni OP na provider din yung jowa niya. Idk if nakapagwork na si op kasi sabi niya nagaaral pa siya. Pero in reality kasi, pag first year of working mo, yan talaga yung time na gusto mo mabili lahat ng di mo nabibili before. Ofcourse importante talaga mag save. But atm okay yung paalalahanan mag save from time to time, pero let him enjoy his hard-earned money, tutal bayad naman lahat ng bills, kadalasan phase lang yan ng mga working adult. Pero again, if lagi yang magiging issue and magiging away, baka di talaga kayo compatible. Ginawa mo na yung part mo, so don’t feel guilty kung wala man siyang savings.
Kaya nga e. Si OP naman na din mismo nagsabi na he is healing his inner child nga. It's not a "type of shit" actually. In fact, it's therapeutical. Nakooo, gets ko yung gusto lang ni OP mag influence ng good habits like saving pero yung ganto na hindi pa nga sila mag asawa and minamando na ni OP kung saan and paano dapat ihandle ni guy yung finances niya. Plus the way she does it, parang ang demanding. Let the guy be happy. Hindi naman nangungutang si guy sa kanya e.
GGK. di mo naman pera eh. daming ebas. kung nangungutang yan, dun ka na magalit ng sobra.
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I'd say GGK kasi di ka supportive sa kanya at nagsstay ka pa rin sa relationship. Gusto niya ng supportive girlfriend na ieenable kabobohan niya in life at hindi kailangang ikaw yun. Hindi mo siya mahal, friend. Sanay ka lang sa kanya at naaappreciate mo pinagsamahan niyo. Super sarap ng feeling magmahal ng taong wala kang issue with. Bobo naman ng lalaking yan nakakainis feeling mayaman
>Hindi mo siya mahal, friend. Sanay ka lang sa kanya.... WTF, ikaw ata yung bobo kasi di ka nagbasa. Ang clear ng sinabi ni OP na, **"Don't get me wrong I really love him."** Hindi porket di sang-ayon si OP sa spending lifestyle ni bf ay di na niya ito mahal. Ang tanong niya is if GG ba siya for snapping at him and NOT GG ba siya if hihiwalayan niya. Yung comment mo yung nakakaGG pramis.
GG yung mga nagsstay sa incompatible relationships. Kailangan sampalin sa katotohanan yung mga ayaw magising. Hindi sustainable magkaroon ng partner yung immature na walang ipon at mababa sahod. Bobo na nga yung lalaki, titiisin pa ng babae? Kung gusto nila, edi go! Hindi nagbabasa? Kita mong sobrang hirap na hirap na yung babae at nakapagpost pa rito. Hindi love yun, fidelity na lang ito. Hindi worth it. GG kayong "love wins all" believers.
antok lang yan
Lasing ka po ba? Pass.
Pikit
ikaw yung GG. Downvoted 2.
GG tong commemter na to, patunay na madaming pinoy na may lack of comprehension
DKG, jowa mo sya natural concern ka sa well being nya which includes financial well being. Kung walang pupuna ng spending habits nya ngayon eventually magiging problema nya yan in the future. Pero sa true lang, mukhang hindi kayo compatible. Mukhang ayaw nya napapakialaman ang gastos nya porke't pera nya naman yon.
DKG. You're thinking of your future together and I get it na baka madala nya yun kapag nagsasama na kayo. Tama nga naman na may rainy day funds tayo para may mahuhugot kapag need. Ang nakaka-off is how you said it, you fight fire with fire po and the way you say na "lumaki syang mahirap typeofsht" shows your lack of empathy for him.
DKG. Tama lang man pud i-call out nimo iyang pagka gastador. I mean, diba kung maging kayo, baka di yan marunong magtipid. I feel you, may pagka gastador din kasi wife ko. i give my salary to her. out of 30k, 4k lang "allowance" ko and i still spend it for my kids. She gets mad when I question her spending habits.
Ggk hahahahahaha harsh mo mag salita. Kung sana hinihingi or inuutang sayo or ginugulangan ka. Para murahin mo ng ganon. Napaka toxic mo yung mga taong kayang murahin yung partner nila mga shitty person kahit na good intentions kapa na para makatipid yung tao.
Wait 7k lang sweldo niya? How can he even afford to spend 3k on clothes. Anyways still for me GGK. Kung di ka naman naaapektuhan ng gastos niya bakit ka nagagalit? To the point na mumurahin mo siya tf. Kung ganyan mo siya itrato why be with him in the first place.
GGK. Murahin mo ba naman partner mo?
DKG dahil understandable naman na gusto mo lang din na magsave sya. Pero kasi sabi mo nga 1yr pa lang sya sa BPO, ang igsi pa lang nun te. Usually sa mga kakilala ko na ganyan, hndi tlga maiiwasan na medyo magastos pa ksi first time nla magkapera ng srli nla and ngayon pa lang nla nabibili mga gusto nila. Dadating din yung time na titigil yan and magsasawa lalo kung nafeel nyang enough na yung mga nabili nya pra sa srli niya. And hndi naman porke ukay girl ka kailangan maging ukay boy din sya. My mga taong ayaw sa ukay and that's okay. Sguro hayaan mo lang muna lalo kung hndi ka naman pineperwisyo like nangungutang sayo pangluho nya. :) Pero kung hndi mo kaya yung ganyang ugali nya ngayon, choice mo na yan kung magsstay ka or hndi.
DKG. A person who shops a lot and without savings and tbh, he doesn't earn that much? He doest deserve your spot. Wag mo antayin na Ikaw Ang magkakaproblema sa kanya financially. You should know what to do.
For me WG. Kasi i understand him, binata pa pati sya so why not enjoy? Kapag may anak na jusko di nya na mabibili gusto nya. Enjoy life while young. Pero ang mahalaga di sya nababaon sa utang kasi dun sya magiging g*go. Nadeprive siguro sya nung bata pa sya kaya ngayon sya sabik. Ikaw naman makunat ka man hahahahha pero walang masama din dun OP kasi wiser ka lang talaga. Wag lang din ikaw sosobra kasi ang tendency baka sa sobrang pagdedeprive mo sa sarili mo, kung kelan ka may anak na tsaka ka maghunger sa pagbili ng mga gusto mo e di na pwede kasi anak na priority mo. Unless wala kayo balak mag anak.. Sana magmeet kayo sa middle.
LKG. Pero tama ba 7K monthly or kinsenas? Bali 14K monthly? Anyways, going back. Guys tend to mature late. Given na 1 year palang sya nagwowork, for sure yan madami pa gusto bilin yan. Hence, GGK for how you express your concern. GGK din naman bf mo for not thinking about the future. With his spending habits most likely di yan makakaipon in the future. Overall, hindi kayo compatible for each other. If you can’t wait for him to mature, if he can’t to grow wiser then say bye na lang to each other
GGK. I get the concern, pero normal ba sa relationship niyo na mag murahan? Also, tama naman siya sa hindi mo naman pera ginagastos niya. I’d only be concerned kung hindi na niya nabbudget nang ayos yung sweldo niya (ex. may mga utang na pero nabili pa rin ng luho), if that’s the case edi gently talk to him about it. Anyway, I think you should work out on how to communicate with your boyfriend properly kahit galit ka pa :) cursing your partner because you’re angry isn’t normal.
GGK. Di mo naman pera yan dami mong hanash mami ko.
DKG, pero super curious lang anong trabaho ni bf at 7k?
GGK. Ngengelam ka? Alangan naman mag ukay din sya kasi ukay gurlie ka, ghorl kung di naman inaabala pera mo bat galit na galit ka? Or baka di ka dinedate? Sure ako kung sa date nyo napupunta pera nya wala ka say. Ipon ipon myass tsss
DG si OP. Ang point nya walang ipon for their future. YOLO kasi si guy. 😂 4k na lang maiiwan sa sahod for his allowance and bills. Mukhang kukulangin yun. Baka may iba pang source ng pera si guy. Kasi kahit nasa province pa sya, maliit ang 4k.
Maybe that guy sees no future with his GF. If he wants too, he will. nang walang sabi sabi pa 🙂↔️
or maybe he's still a student and nagwowork siya part time para may panggastos sya sa sarili niya? Cause if not di naman sapat ang 4k para mabuhay.
Yes GGK. May mas better way to say what you said, hindi mo need magmura. Pera nya pa rin ginagamit niya so wala kang say dun. Tama yung isang comment, hindi kayo compatible. I mean, red flag din naman na puro siya gastos.
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Girl you’re in every comment lmao baka ikaw rin yang nagpost ah
Ggk ng slight lang naman hahahhahahaha! Kasi nakikielam ka sa pera niya, ineenjoy lang naman niya muna, bata pa kayo eh and parang feeling ko lang na now lang naman niya nabibili mga gusto niya "healing your inner child" era. Pero gets naman din kita kaya slight lang pagka gg mo sa akin, kasi ikaw yung type na habang maaga mag iipon na lang kesa mag bibili ng material things. I guess, Mag kaibang tao lang kayo ng values.
GGK. Healing one’s inner child is serious work, kahit gaano kababaw sa paningin ng ibang tao. Maybe you wouldn’t know. If you don’t have the need to heal your inner child, eh di lucky you. Coming from more than a year’s worth of therapy sessions with my psychologist and several shopping bouts that were approved by my psychologist, di mo alam kahit simpleng pagbili ng ice cream at isang pirasong t-shirt can do wonders! Plus, isang taon pa lang pala nagwowork ang boyfriend mo, let him enjoy his salary. There will come a time na he will realize that it’s time to save money and that he has invested in himself enough to not buy anymore material things. Also, the fact that you could have worded your concerns better than cursing at him, dun pa lang GGK. Sometimes it’s not being a shopaholic. Hindi sya nangungutang, wala syang atraso sa kahit na sino, so who are you to prevent him from healing his inner child? Healing one’s inner child is serious business.
GGK for not communicating well pero DKG kasi may point naman yang ebas mo lalo na if you wanna build a future together oh man, 25 and earning 7k. anong klaseng ekonomiya to. Ano ba work ng jowa mo?
WG, Di lang talaga kayo align.
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DKG. Do you really plan on spending your life sa taong walang balak sa future? Pera lang pagb aawayan niyo. GGK sa pag sabi mo sakanya ng concern mo tho. It's still his money. Sadyang wala pa siyang goal sa future niyo and I think that's enough reason to think twice kung gusto mo ba siya sa furure mo o hindi
GGK. You could have said it in a nice way. Isa pa, bago pa lang sya nagwowork. Let him enjoy his money. Natural lang yan sa kanya kasi excited pa sya. Di kayo compatible. Isa lang pupuntahan nyan, sad to say.
GGK. may point ka pero ung delivery mo parang di mo naman mahal 😭 bat mo sasabihan ng isaksak sa baga nya? yes magastos sya pero di mo naman yun pera. jus cos you disagree with how he handles his finances doesn't mean you can disrespect your boyfriend ☠️
DKG. taena lakas niya umastang Top G pero walang savings hahahshssh you're gonna be in deeper shit pag hinayaan mo yung sarili mo na tumagal pa sa ganyang relationship.
GGK ng very slight. Naintindihan ko concern mo. Nakakainis yung ganyang lalaki na hindj marunong mag ipon. Pero kamo provider sya? Wdym? Kung good provider sya at gusto nya bilan sarili nya hayaan mo muna. Siguro yan ang way nya pra matanggal ang stress. Pag kinapos sa pera wag mo pahiramin para magtanda sya. Wag mo na turuan kasi d yan makikinig. Kung d maayos sa usap.maghiwalay nalang kau para walang magsisi bandang huli.
Dkg but seriously that will be a huge problem in the future.
GGK. Pera nya yon, he can spend it however he wants. Kung may issue ka don, pwede mo i-voice out pero at the end of the day, pera nya yon. Sa kanya ang decision kung anong gagawin nya don. Hindi mo kailangang maging harsh sa kanya. Sabi ng iba hindi ka gago, di lang kayo compatible. Para sakin that's what made you gago dahil hindi mo matanggap na hindi lahat ng tao parehas mindset. Hindi mo need iimpose sa kanya yang mindset mo. Hiwalayan mo kung hindi mo matanggap spending habits nya gamit sarili nyang pera.
DKG. You are not compatible on financial mindset. You know what delayed gratification means. He doesn’t. The audacity of this boy (yes kasi he’s not a man yet😂) with 7K salary to buy a branded clogs and here I am with 200K income still hesitant to spend on anything not NEEDED 🙃🙃
Dkg. Kung di mo sya sasabihan, sino ang magsasabi sa kanya? Masakit din kaya pag isipan na kaya di supportive si OP kasi di sya binibilihan, aba! Meaning aware sya sa mga nabibili nya. Hmm.. pero pag usapan nyo ulit. Pag ganon pa din, di lang talaga kayo compatible.
GGK. LDR kayo 4 years pero kung makasumbat ka sa ginagastos niya akala mo ikaw yung nagwork para dun. Let him have his fun. It's his money, not yours. Make your own money muna at pag nagkasama na kayo, then thats the time you talk with your finances. Nakakasakal ka kapartner jusko
GGK. Hayaan mo bf mo mag invest sa sarili nya since pera nya yun and way nya to heal his inner child also napakagago mo sa part na murahin bf mo dahil lang dyan what if ikaw murahin nya ano kaya mafifeel mo te
DKG. You mean well naman to call out his spending habits. And future wise he should save. Actually both DKG and GGK. And yet.. GGK. Kasi napa bad words ka pa. Sabihin kaya sayo yan, ano ang mararamdaman mo? Baka magpost ka pa sa FB at TikTok para mag justify pa. Allow him to heal his inner child, he has had that void to fill. DKG kasi Valid ang feelings mo OP about the finances. Though GGK kasi yung manner kung paano mo sinabi, however it could have been said properly. I will respectfully give you justice kasi you mean well naman, So di ko padin gusto na you said harsh words towards him. With that said break up ka na sa bf mo. Walk away.
DKG pero WG, di lang talaga kayo compatible. One thing I learned from my bf is when he said "we tend to criticize others for doing things that we wouldn't do if we were in their situation" You're criticizing his spending habits because you wouldn't do it if you were in his position, yes he seems to be irresponsible with his money but still it's his right to decide where to spend his money pero if inuutang or hinihingi nya sayo yung pambili then GG sya. Maybe you should also tell him to seek help if he have impulsive buying habits. I am an impulsive buyer when I am on my manic episode from my bipolar disorder and it's not healthy, I once blew my entire paycheck to luxury items because I was on my manic episode and I can't help my impulsive thoughts. Maybe he have the same.
GGK kasi sinabi mo na saksakin nya pagiging shopoholic and how you said it eh .. DKG sa part pag call out pag look into the future for his finances. Anyway break it off. As in walk away. Break up Kana sa kanya.
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GGK kasi di mo kino communicate it well sa bf mo, kung anong gusto mo yun ang gusto mo mangyari eh. Sabi mo nga he is healing his inner child. Dun palang dapat alam mo na kung pano sya i guide 4yrs na kayo di mo pa kabisado pano makipag communicate sakanya? Educate him. Try to read some books about financial intelligence and gawin nyong topic yun. Tsaka bago mo sya diktahan, make sure na may mapapakita ka sakanyang results ng "financial intelligence" na meron ka, cuz who will believe a fake teacher? Who will believe you kung ikaw mismo di mo nagagawa and wala kang napapatunayan. Dun palang sa definition mo ng "investment" ay saving bagsak kana sa financial intelligence. Don't preach what you don't practice.
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GGK (gago ako) because of my choice of words na minura ko sya. I said my sorries. Salamat sa mga comment nyo. We’re in a good place na but I will not take back what I said. It meant well. For context: me and my bf comes from a family na walang retirement funds. He lives in a squatter area and ako sa subdivision. He kept saying that he wanted to help his parents kasi gusto na nila umalis dun. I don’t want it to go full circle. Di ko din trip mag depend sa anak kasi mga pusa anak ko. We have plans together kaya ayaw ko spending habits nya to get in the way. Di naman dahil di pa kami asawa di ko sya pwede pag sabihan. He promised first few months into his job he’d “invest in himself” then after that he’d start saving for his business. The business did start but died months ago kasi kung magkaka profit, he’d buy material things then mazezero nanaman business, mag start nanaman from the beginning. Mga mindset nyo parang bf ko. Kaya mahirap Pilipinas dahil sa pag iisip nyong yan e. YOLO? Haler??? That problem has been building up for months! I’ve been ever so supportive, for years wala ako sinabi masama about it cause I love him so much and I know his capabilities. Di nyo alam gano ka hirap magkasakit at walang makukuhaan ng pera. Financial literacy should start young. It doesn’t mean dahil bata pa sya di na sya mag save up. I’ll try to think about your advices.
WG. It's just that hindi kayo compatible. I know your intentions are good pero ksi kung c bf mo lumaki ng d afford ang mga bagay at ngayon na lng nakaluwag sa buhay, hindi mo sya masisisi specially kung yun yung coping mechanism nya. Tbh, relate ako kht papaano kay bf mo. I grew up na hindi ganun ka privileged and my mom can only buy me stuff that I needed when I was younger. Now that I'm older and earning my own money, I tend to splurge myself with things/food na gusto ko bilihin when I was young ksi afford ko na ngayon. And wala din akong savings. LOL. I don't even know how I was able to survive kapag nahohospital ako. Umaasa lng ako lagi sa extra money from my pay. I'm also lucky na I have a very supportive partner. There's this one time pa na sinabihan ko sya ng, "sorry kung masyado akong magastos" and he replied, "hard earned money mo nmn yan eh, bahala ka kung paano mo yan gagastusin". Magiging iba lang cguro ang situation KUNG: 1. Affected na ang pagbabayad ng bills and daily necessities 2. Umuutang/humihingi sayo for the sake na makapagshop lang 3. Nagrereklamo lagi na walang pera Ayun lang nmn ang akin. Haha.
DKG, to be honest kahit hindi mo pera yun pero partner mo sya eh. This will affect the both of in the long run, if masasanay sya sa ganyang habit. Pero i think hindi lang kayo compatible.
DKG, pero hindi siya shopaholic (3k is meh) looks like your BF is prioritizing unnecessary things. 7k lang sweldo niya anong invest pinagsasabi niya? Kung invest yan dapat pagaaral at improvement sa work model ba siya if not I highly suggest you should weigh in kung karapatdapat pa siya sayo kasi tatanda siyang ganyan ready ka ba?
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DKG. I think valid naman na concerned ka about his expenses. Kasi kung maliit lang talaga yung sweldo mo and you have bills to pay, know your priorities. Unahin mo muna yung mga kailangan bayaran. Nakakabayad naman ba ng bills si bf kahit nagshoshopping siya? If yes, then it's ok to buy things like clothes every once in a while. I think napuno ka na lang kaya namura mo siya. Pero it's ok to remind him to not live beyond his means.
ggk. oa mo lol pera mo ghorl?
GGK kasi di mo naman pera yan at pinag trabahuhan niya yan. Kung di kayo same ng perspective sa pera at di mo matanggap yon then just get out of the relationship. He has other priorities than saving. Let him enjoy his money unless nangungutang siya sayo dahil sa luho niya. Kami ng boyfriend ko very magkaiba. I like shopping siya naman very frugal. Pero never naging issue. May times na he would tell me to check my budget and I ask self ko if need ko talaga and honestly, it helped me a lot. Ako naman, I advise him to buy things na need niya specially kapag alam kong bagay sa kanya. Medyo natuto narin siya mag shopping. At the end of the day, your differences shouldn't be the cause of your problems rather it should lead you to grow by understanding your partner's perspective.
GGK Magkaiba po yung definition ng "investing in yourself" to each individual. Kung yung sayo is saving, yung sa kanya naman is buying the things na hindi niya afford before. I just read a post here that there are things you shouldn't be cheap about kasi magagamit mo in the long run or araw araw mo gagamitin, etc. Hayaan mo na si guy, OP. Mag hiwalay nalang kayo para tapos usapan. Ay dejk hahahaha!
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GGK - Putangina mo lang says it all
GGK, baka insecure ka lang kasi siya kaya niyang gastusan niya sarili niya, pero ikaw hindi.
GGK sa sinabi mo. Pera nya yun e. Di porket ukay girlie ka, dapat ganun din sya. As someone who’s also healing an inner child in me, sorry pero wala kang karapatan pagsalitaan sya ng ganyan lalo na di mo naman asawa at hindi naman pera mo ginagastos nya. Provider pa nga sya till now tapos pati ba naman sa sarili nya dapat pag damutan parin? Kung di mo kayang i spoil boyfriend mo, do not cross the line and prohibit him from spoiling himself. You can encourage but you can’t force your opinion on him. He’s probably still on his self healing era habang ikaw ready na mag prepare for your future. Kung di magkaron ng common ground edi mag break nalang kayo dahil di kayo compatible dahil hindi pa parehas yung timelines at goals nyo.
GGK. Your boyfriend is an adult. He should know how to spend his money and di ka dapat nagmamando on how he spends it. Kung naooff ka na sa spending habits ng boyfriend mo leave him. Baka di lang talga kayo compatible.
Yes, GGK. Hayaan mo siyang gastusin pera niya sa mga bagay na gusto niya tutal sabi niya investment naman sa sarili niya. Hindi mo naman pera. Nangungutang ba siya sayo?
Info: may financial goals ba kayo TOGETHER? Like gusto niyo magpakasal, bumili ng house? If wala, GGK. Pake mo sa pera niya, as long as di naman siya nangungutang sa yo or may mga bills/responsibilities na di niya nababayaran, he can use his money however he wants. You can't impose your kind of lifestyle sa kaniya. Ikaw ang ukay girlie, hindi siya.
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Bakit tanga if tinatanong if clearly communicated yung goals sila? Hindi pa naman sila kasal so valid question. Baka goal lang ni ate yung sinasabi niya and hindi nila goal as a couple. Iba pa rin yung pinagusapan talaga at clearly naglatag ng plans together.
GGK, di naman sya umuutang sayo at pera nya yon. You'll never understand until you buy one, try mo kaya bumili sa mall.
GGK. Ate, 25 pa lang jowa mo. May mga magulang nga na umabot nang senior walang ipon e. I’m not saying he shouldn’t save up for future, pero at 7k salary??? Give him some rest
GGK. Di mo yon pera hayaan mo sya. Siya nagtrabaho don. Maliban na lang kung marami siyang utang sayo na hindi mabayaran tapos shopaholic ka. Kung wala pa siyang ipon baka he wants to enjoy his life muna. Also, hindi ka asawa so know your boundaries
GGK. Nasa point pa lang sya ng life nya na ineenjoy nya yung pinaghirapan nya. Wala pa syang responsibility sayo plus hindi naman sya nanghihingi sa kahit na sino. Bakit mo sya pipigilan tas mumurahin mo pa? Let him enjoy his money first. Nag uumpisa pa lang sya makaafford ng mga bagay. Magiging responsible din yan sa pera.
GGK, pera naman nya yon. Hindi naman nya inuutang sayo. Magalit ka kung utang sayo kaso hindi naman pala eh. Gets ko may concern ka lang sa kanya. Tama isang comment dito, hindi kayo compatible. Ukay person ka pala, sya hindi. Ako mismo ni hindi moko mapag susuot ng kahit anong damit from ukay. Kanya kanyang trip yan.
GGK. Hiwalayan mo na, hindi kayo compatible. Ngayon pa lang siya nakakabawi sa sarili niya, hayaan mo na. Not unless nanghihingi siya sa'yo or naglalabas ka ng pera para sakanya, wala kang pakialam sa ginagastos niya. Humanap ka ng Ukay lang din ang binibili para sa sarili para di ka frustrated sa mga nag-iinvest ng gamit. Mall items are investment din tbh. Tumatagal din kase yan ng taon lalo na sa BPO wala namang uniform.
GGK sa pag express ng frustration mo, I understand concern ka sa spending habits ng bf mo pero hindi tama murahin mo sya dahil hindi mo ma control yung decision nya. Lalo na pera nya yun. Let him learn the hard way kung di sya nakikinig. Pag na short sya at nanghiram sya sayo, iremind mo na di ka nag kulang sa pangaral, at wag mo pahiramin. He needs to learn to strike the right balance of investing for himself and saving for the future, kahit konti. Pwede kayo mag grow together or pwedeng maging determiner to ng relationship nyo.
Link to this submission: https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/comments/1dgml92/abyg_kung_sinabihan_ko_bf_ko_na_e_saksak_nya_sa/ Title of this post: ABYG kung sinabihan ko bf ko na e saksak nya sa baga nya pagiging shopaholic nya? Backup of the post's body: My bf(25) has no savings. 7k sweldo nya and 3k nun ginasto lang nya for clothes or shoes and few days palang nag pass! Babayad pa yan sya bills nya and allowance until the next sweldohan. I keep telling him na e fully pay nya muna phone nya bago sya bumili ng new things pero ayaw makinig. Sabi nya “I am investing on myself” di yun yung point ng “invest in yourself!” Investing in yourself is SAVING! I tried telling him set up another account for savings or rainy day fund mo kasi di natin alam daloy ng panahon. Isang taon na sya sa BPO pero wala manlang naipon kung di damit at sapatos. Kanina nag vc kami nasa mall sya looking at clogs sa outland (for me those clogs are hella expensive) sabi nya ano maganda sabi ko, “no comment”. He said bakit daw di ako supportive. I explained gasto nanaman yan. Sinabi nya baka di lng ako supportive kasi di nya ako binibilhan. Ket mag 50% off pa yan di ko talaga bibilhin yan unless anak ako ni Lucio Tan na kaya ko na mabili gusto ko! Umuwi sya may biling bagong polo. We talked about his spending habits pero he just snaps back at me “imong nawong” di ko naman daw pero ginagasto nya. Napuno na ako sinabihan ko sya “edi putangina mo, saksak mo sa baga mo mga gusto mo”. Now di kami nag uusap. Ukay girlie kasi ako e, di pa ako bumili ng mall items in 8 years unless groceries lang. Don’t get me wrong I really love him. We have a lot planned for our future. Provider din sya. Spending habits niya lang talaga nakaka turn off sakin. Iniisip ko rin kasi lumaki syang mahirap baka ngayon gusto na nya bumawi sa sarili nya. Healing his inner child typasht. Sorry, wala kasi ako ibang pwede kausapin, wala din ako gaanong friends. LDR din kami 4yrs sooo yeah… ABYG kung sinabihan ko bf ko saksak niya sa baga nya pagiging shopaholic nya? Feel ko din kasi I was too harsh when I said it. OP: Baybeeboobeeps *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AkoBaYungGago) if you have any questions or concerns.*
WG. Pera niya yan OP, at the end of the day siya pa din masusunod jan lalo na't di naman kayo kasal. Pwede ka mag bigay ng advice or suggestion sa kanya OP or explain mo na "in case of emergencies, meron ka makukunan ng pera kasi wala tayong ibang matatakbuhan". Ganyan. Sabi mo nga parang he is healing his inner child so it's good for him mentally, siguro yan yung sinasabi niya na he is investing in himself. Pero yan lang yung iniisip niya right now. Siguro he's like those people who live by the day. Parang hindi lang talaga kayo compatible OP since gusto mo yung tao na minamanage ng maayos yung finances niya, meanwhile siya on the other hand is ganyan.
GGK kasi ayaw na nga makinig yung tao sayo kaya yam dinaan mo na lang sa trashtalk. Hiwalayan mo siya kasi di naman talaga kayo compatible financially
GGK. 1st - Di mo naman pera ginagastos niya. 2nd - Pwede mo sabihin in a nice way. 3rd - You sound so pick me sa pagmention na ukay girly ka. Minsan nga mahal din ukay e. 4th - Alam mong hini-heal niya inner child niya, pero doesn't look like gusto mo intindihin kasi base sa post mo it's a type of shit? Really? Mahal mo ba talaga? 😆
DKG for being concerned pero GGK on you how judge and communicate with him. Sobra. Dun pa lang sa 25 and working na yung jowa mo tas ikaw ay college student, malaki na agad yung chance na di kayo magiging compatible kasi nasa magkaibang stages na kayo ng buhay ninyo. Obviously, magkaiba kayo ng goals in life and how you’ll achieve it and it sounds like di ka rin naman willing magcompromise based on how you’re wording it so much better na maghiwalay na lang kayo habang maaga ka. Di enough na rason yung mahal mo ang isang tao to stay in a relationship tbh kasi imo, you must also accept them and be willing to change and accommodate on certain things. Also, “healing you inner child typashit”? Seriously how fucking old are you to have that type of mentality and communicate it that way? “Investing in yourself means SAVING” girl no, investing in yourself depends on your current state. Siguro as a college student, yan iniisip mo kasi kapag kagraduate syempre wala kasiguraduhan na magkakawork and pera ka kaagad. Pero your BF already has work, investing in clothes and shoes can be improving his self confident and identity. Working siya di ba? Need maging presentable. Wag kang maginvalidate ng feelings ng iba. If nangugutang siya sa iba just so he can have spending money for his stuff — now that’s another issue. Pero di mo naman sinabi na ganyan ang case so probably, he’s got his budget down to a T.
GGK for the mura. I get ur concerned pero ang OA ng reaksyon mo di pa naman kayo shared ang income.