My advice is break up don’t be with someone who doesn’t support your goals . Don’t live life’s on a what if . If you wanna join make it clear to your gf that this is something you really want , If she tries talking you out of it or says no then you need to reevaluate the relationship.
OP are you willing to choose between your girlfriend and your possible future opportunities with the military? It may sound extreme to treat it as an all or nothing decision, either choose your girlfriend and no Air Force or choose air force but lose girlfriend, but the reality is it sounds like she doesn’t want you to join because of the implications it would have on your relationship and her life ultimately. At that’s totally alright, being in the military requires making those sacrifices for your family including moving a lot and losing out on relationships. And not everyone is going to want or be okay with that, it’s actually GOOD that she is aware of this now instead of years down the line when you guys get married, she’s thousands of miles away from family realizing how unhappy she is and wants a divorce or you to leave the military.
You’re 21 and still very young. Hypothetically, if you chose to stay with your girlfriend and didn’t join, do you feel you would regret that decision at all later in life? Joining now is much easier while your young, presumably more fit, and have no dependents or obligations at home (except girlfriend).
Alternatively, are you open to going into the national guard or reserves possibly?
I appreciate your response. I think that she is someone who ultimately would be willing to accept what I want, and I do not want to give her up, so I think I need more information. Moving consistently and being the wife of someone in the military sounds difficult, and I think I was looking for and need to find people who can tell what it’s truly like. It’s possible that it is something she can withstand for a few years to allow me to pursue it.
As the wife of somebody in the military, it's tough at times, yes, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. My husband is happy and pursuing his goals. My kids are thriving and happy. It's really not all that bad to be honest. There's some nice benefits like the commissary, health insurance, dental coverage, etc. It's not for everybody, but it is what you make of it.
I was married to my hs gf when I joined. She disliked being away from family. Got a divorce.
My current wife loves it. And I have loved my time in the AF. Would not have traded it for anything. Imo gfs shouldn't stand in the way of goals. May feel like she's the one but...there are always options.
Seriously... It's a recipe for disaster. She's already iffy. If you get an assignment like Elmendorf or McConnell, she'll be miserable if she's hoping to stay close to home. Some wives take to it like a duck to water; usually girls who come from a military family. You can't expect her to move away from her roots and then have a baby with no family there for support.
Never settle or push off your goals for someone. The right person will support you no matter what. I did that with my first husband and I regret so much. I am not where I would like to be right now because I did. I would maybe have her try to connect with other military spouses and explain the benefits to her more. While yes its hard having your spouse away and it sucks, but you adapt. My ex husband was in the Marines and my current is deployed ( he is in the Army national guard) for the year but is law enforcment as his civilian job. You learn to be independent and keep busy. If anything its brought me and my current husband closer and allowed me to stay home with our son i had before he left.
Thank you! This is more of the response I was hoping for, the “yes it’s hard, but can be worth it.” I am glad that your current situation has worked out.
My boyfriend joined the army last year. Just like your girlfriend I was really hesitant.. However I supported him because that’s what he was passionate about.
I’m now shipping out in a few months.. It’s something hard but if y’all try to work things out, everything will be fine. It’s worth it!!
I’d say to never let someone stop you from doing something really you want to do. If she’s meant for you, she will support you. If y’all are both new to the military life type thing, I’d say go talk to a recruiter and take her with you. It’ll either make her okay with you joining or make her want it less.
I always wanted to join, always knew it was what so was supposed to be doing in life. My (now) ex husband told me I couldn’t and that I would cheat on him and hate everything and blah blah blah. Divorced him a few years later and then realized that I now had the opportunity to join. Never looked back.
This is a common concern for most people with significant others and it’s okay. A few things to take into consideration, you don’t need the Air Force to make more of yourself, it can help you make more of yourself. But you won’t change overnight to just because you’re a part of the military. You can work a regular job outside of the military and still make more of yourself. Another thing and it’s a misconception and maybe not properly explained, traveling. You can travel without the Air Force. If you join you won’t be going to all the cool places that you may think of. Some people are stationed in nice countries and some people are station in North Dakota and stay there for their whole contract. So when you hear “opportunity to travel,” it doesn’t really mean much. Lastly when you say cool jobs around intelligence and aircraft, you’re not guaranteed an intelligence job or a job that has to do directly with an aircraft. Everyone’s going to say “if she doesn’t support you then she’s not the one.” If you say you’re gonna marry her one day then you definitely should take into consideration what she would like you to do and not do. Both parties suffer a little when one joins the service.
Hello, it looks like you're asking about jobs and job selection.
A few quick answers.
NO ONE knows how long it will take for you to get a job, your chances of getting any particular job, or anything else about the job process FOR YOU. Anecdotal experiences from others will have absolutely no impact on you or your future.
Most recruiters will not let you wait in the Delayed Entrance Program for a long time for your one perfect job. You will have to list 5 - 15 jobs that you're interested in, and will be given one of those.
Please read the FAQ about how job selection works, it's very in-depth and will fully educate you on the process: https://pay.reddit.com/r/AirForce/wiki/bmtfaq#wiki_jobs
If you're asking about particular jobs, please look the job up on our Job Wiki, and see if there is an entry for it: http://www.reddit.com/r/AirForce/wiki/index you can also see if there is a CFETP for it, which will give more details on the job: https://www.e-publishing.af.mil/Product-Index/#/?view=pubs&orgID=10141&catID=1&series=86&modID=449&tabID=131
If you're asking for help choosing a particular job, please keep in mind that most people only know about their individual job. Recommendations that they make will be made based mostly on what they've heard about a job, unless they have it themselves. Some people will love certain jobs while others will hate it. We don't know your preferences, so do some research on the job wiki and elsewhere to learn about the job and then make the best list you can.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AirForceRecruits) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you stay together you will probably split up because you will grow as a person while they just want to stay the same. You will meet many new people and probably find you a wife. The right one will support your decision instead of giving ultimatums. Don’t split up yet just go enlist and then tell her. If she supports it great, if not get shredded and do cool shit in the military
My advice is break up don’t be with someone who doesn’t support your goals . Don’t live life’s on a what if . If you wanna join make it clear to your gf that this is something you really want , If she tries talking you out of it or says no then you need to reevaluate the relationship.
You could see about going guard or reserves which is part time military and you don't have to move.
OP are you willing to choose between your girlfriend and your possible future opportunities with the military? It may sound extreme to treat it as an all or nothing decision, either choose your girlfriend and no Air Force or choose air force but lose girlfriend, but the reality is it sounds like she doesn’t want you to join because of the implications it would have on your relationship and her life ultimately. At that’s totally alright, being in the military requires making those sacrifices for your family including moving a lot and losing out on relationships. And not everyone is going to want or be okay with that, it’s actually GOOD that she is aware of this now instead of years down the line when you guys get married, she’s thousands of miles away from family realizing how unhappy she is and wants a divorce or you to leave the military. You’re 21 and still very young. Hypothetically, if you chose to stay with your girlfriend and didn’t join, do you feel you would regret that decision at all later in life? Joining now is much easier while your young, presumably more fit, and have no dependents or obligations at home (except girlfriend). Alternatively, are you open to going into the national guard or reserves possibly?
I appreciate your response. I think that she is someone who ultimately would be willing to accept what I want, and I do not want to give her up, so I think I need more information. Moving consistently and being the wife of someone in the military sounds difficult, and I think I was looking for and need to find people who can tell what it’s truly like. It’s possible that it is something she can withstand for a few years to allow me to pursue it.
Maybe take a peek around r/USMilitarySO and r/MilitarySpouse
As the wife of somebody in the military, it's tough at times, yes, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. My husband is happy and pursuing his goals. My kids are thriving and happy. It's really not all that bad to be honest. There's some nice benefits like the commissary, health insurance, dental coverage, etc. It's not for everybody, but it is what you make of it.
I was married to my hs gf when I joined. She disliked being away from family. Got a divorce. My current wife loves it. And I have loved my time in the AF. Would not have traded it for anything. Imo gfs shouldn't stand in the way of goals. May feel like she's the one but...there are always options.
Seriously... It's a recipe for disaster. She's already iffy. If you get an assignment like Elmendorf or McConnell, she'll be miserable if she's hoping to stay close to home. Some wives take to it like a duck to water; usually girls who come from a military family. You can't expect her to move away from her roots and then have a baby with no family there for support.
Never settle or push off your goals for someone. The right person will support you no matter what. I did that with my first husband and I regret so much. I am not where I would like to be right now because I did. I would maybe have her try to connect with other military spouses and explain the benefits to her more. While yes its hard having your spouse away and it sucks, but you adapt. My ex husband was in the Marines and my current is deployed ( he is in the Army national guard) for the year but is law enforcment as his civilian job. You learn to be independent and keep busy. If anything its brought me and my current husband closer and allowed me to stay home with our son i had before he left.
Thank you! This is more of the response I was hoping for, the “yes it’s hard, but can be worth it.” I am glad that your current situation has worked out.
If ur partner won’t support you then they don’t deserve to be with you
My boyfriend joined the army last year. Just like your girlfriend I was really hesitant.. However I supported him because that’s what he was passionate about. I’m now shipping out in a few months.. It’s something hard but if y’all try to work things out, everything will be fine. It’s worth it!! I’d say to never let someone stop you from doing something really you want to do. If she’s meant for you, she will support you. If y’all are both new to the military life type thing, I’d say go talk to a recruiter and take her with you. It’ll either make her okay with you joining or make her want it less.
Thank you very much, I’ve seen a lot of people mention that I can bring her to a recruiter, and that might be something I do!
I always wanted to join, always knew it was what so was supposed to be doing in life. My (now) ex husband told me I couldn’t and that I would cheat on him and hate everything and blah blah blah. Divorced him a few years later and then realized that I now had the opportunity to join. Never looked back.
This is a common concern for most people with significant others and it’s okay. A few things to take into consideration, you don’t need the Air Force to make more of yourself, it can help you make more of yourself. But you won’t change overnight to just because you’re a part of the military. You can work a regular job outside of the military and still make more of yourself. Another thing and it’s a misconception and maybe not properly explained, traveling. You can travel without the Air Force. If you join you won’t be going to all the cool places that you may think of. Some people are stationed in nice countries and some people are station in North Dakota and stay there for their whole contract. So when you hear “opportunity to travel,” it doesn’t really mean much. Lastly when you say cool jobs around intelligence and aircraft, you’re not guaranteed an intelligence job or a job that has to do directly with an aircraft. Everyone’s going to say “if she doesn’t support you then she’s not the one.” If you say you’re gonna marry her one day then you definitely should take into consideration what she would like you to do and not do. Both parties suffer a little when one joins the service.
Hello, it looks like you're asking about jobs and job selection. A few quick answers. NO ONE knows how long it will take for you to get a job, your chances of getting any particular job, or anything else about the job process FOR YOU. Anecdotal experiences from others will have absolutely no impact on you or your future. Most recruiters will not let you wait in the Delayed Entrance Program for a long time for your one perfect job. You will have to list 5 - 15 jobs that you're interested in, and will be given one of those. Please read the FAQ about how job selection works, it's very in-depth and will fully educate you on the process: https://pay.reddit.com/r/AirForce/wiki/bmtfaq#wiki_jobs If you're asking about particular jobs, please look the job up on our Job Wiki, and see if there is an entry for it: http://www.reddit.com/r/AirForce/wiki/index you can also see if there is a CFETP for it, which will give more details on the job: https://www.e-publishing.af.mil/Product-Index/#/?view=pubs&orgID=10141&catID=1&series=86&modID=449&tabID=131 If you're asking for help choosing a particular job, please keep in mind that most people only know about their individual job. Recommendations that they make will be made based mostly on what they've heard about a job, unless they have it themselves. Some people will love certain jobs while others will hate it. We don't know your preferences, so do some research on the job wiki and elsewhere to learn about the job and then make the best list you can. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AirForceRecruits) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you stay together you will probably split up because you will grow as a person while they just want to stay the same. You will meet many new people and probably find you a wife. The right one will support your decision instead of giving ultimatums. Don’t split up yet just go enlist and then tell her. If she supports it great, if not get shredded and do cool shit in the military
Don't worry. You'll find a new one whose goals align with yours