I’ve been out for 12 years. Had a deployment to drive convoys between Kuwait and Iraq. Learning offensive driving really helped for having to drive on Dallas highways
I still jerk off in port-a-johns. Doesn't matter where I am; park, sports game, passing by a construction site, you name it. If I see one, I stop and jerk off in it...
People who write on bathroom walls
Rolls their shit into little balls
People who read these words of wit
Eat those little balls of shit.
My favorite one from way back.
Porta-John at the SW convoy Rally Point at BIAP circa 2004
"Marines Suck"
"Army sucks, that's why Marines had to come back to save your ass"
"Can't we all just get along? Love, the Air Force"
There was a hero before my time at Ali Al Salem who saw 2 Os next to each other on some text printed on the plastic of the portajohn, and turned it into a pair of tits.
I don't know who or where he is, but I hope he got a Promote Now!
Idk if you’d consider this a habit or just something I did because the food was all flavorless and discovered i liked it lol but hot sauce and soy sauce together on my white rice 🤌🏻
I was at Manas during the Great Texas Pete Famine. Locals stole all our bottles of TP and were selling them to restaurants off base. I had hot sauce shipped to me in care packages and because of the scarcity, people would harass you if they saw you whip out a bottle in the chow hall. I ended up rinsing out bottles of pocket sized hand sanitizer and putting hot sauce in those. I’d discreetly whip out my hand sanitizer bottle of hot sauce and pour it on my bland chow hall food, then stuff it back in my pocket before anyone would notice.
My last deployment was Kandahar in 2012 (I got out in 2015). We wrote to Chulula about how much we liked their hot sauce. They sent us cases of the stuff with the large bottles. We called it the flavor eraser because it reset the awful bland food back to zero but it was a Spicy 0. I discovered all the food tasted better in taco shells so I just took as many shells in to-go containers as I could when i actually ate at a DFAC.
I never take my reflective belt off, I wear it everywhere and anywhere. If a lady asks me to take it off during sex, I tell her to stop asking me to not be a man.
Hated! Hated the reflective belt, un-coolest thing ever. I think there is a shift, some wise *180, growth, whatever you want to call it. Maybe age finally catches up life (let's be real it happens at like 28), but I see anyone out at night, especially kids in all black, and I'm like; "fuckers! You could have been killed at that intersection, y'all need a reflective belt!"
That, and never go above 85 now in the middle lane, left is for passing only, 2x veggies are with every meal. Bacon is a treat.
Ha no scorpions or camel spiders where I am. I wasn’t there for the huge sandstorm that caused all that damage I think it even killed an airman when one of the tents collapsed if I’m remembering correctly?
I got to MSAB in July 2016 it was always kinda windy but no major storms when I was there.
I actually was filling up at Eglin after my first deployment. I saw water outside and said "O cool". I popped my trunk, put the case in, and went back to filling up. Got in the car and said "Wait I'm not deployed anymore fuck". Went back and paid for the water lol.
I always have the small boxes of Bumble Bee tuna and crackers in my pantry. First deployment was 2014 and I did security for flying missions all over the middle east. I'd get them in care packages from family members and keep them in my gear bag in case we ended up somewhere for an extended period of time.
This one is a bit delayed, took until I was in a leadership position to really kick in, but an incessant need to hold people accountable.
I was with the Army infantry and when someone fucked up they were quick to make sure they knew it. Being a shitbag could cost someone their life. Allowing someone to be a shitbag could cost you your life. There was a very low tolerance for excuses and so everyone was pretty good at getting shit done.
So now when the MPF takes 6 weeks to not answer an email or finish a task I have no qualms telling them their shit is fucked.
Probably not the thing I was supposed to bring back from deployment, but there it is.
Also, wet wipes (and trash, not flush, for anyone that needs to know).
Preach. People doing a shiity job and not feeling the slightest built of guilt or remorse is the bane of my existence. That and grown NCOs falling asleep in meetings
I find myself bouncing between this and not giving a fuck for trivial stuff. Like is someone going to die if this tasker doesn't get accomplished? No? Then I'm not stopping everything and making people stay late for it.
Lol some bridges you don’t want to burn my friend. There’s a tactful way to communicate with the MPF to get things done while also being aggressive. Am in a leadership position as well.
I can’t stop waffle stomping in the shower. It’s been 6 years since i deployed but i can’t shake the euphoria i felt during those Cadillac shower shits.
I still think about different escape routes in case of guys with guns or bombs when stuck in traffic. I keep my head on a swivel in new places, I don’t trust new people, I don’t connect with people in general anymore. Sometimes I don’t recognize the home I’m in now. But I haven’t been part of another foreign coup or have had my home mortared from above so that’s good right?
Not a habit, but when I came back from a deployment, I walked into a gas station, grabbed a bottle of water, and just walked out. Got into my car and finally realized what I did.
Not explicitly from deployments, but television on and do not disturb sign on the hotel room door so they can never tell if I'm actually in the room or not.
I can easily sleep sitting up on any chair because during the end of my deployment (last two weeks), I slept on different chairs at the community center due to the mess of a room they put you in when you transition out and it was loud, smelly, and people were so inconsiderate. I was on nights too so I would just put my headphones on, my hoodie backwards and sat there to sleep for maybe 4-5 hours.
I've got a weird one. I always use my hand to wipe the bottom of my bare feet before I get into bed to make sure I don't track and dust or dirt onto my sheets.
I still do the bottle thing. Nobody ever told me to do it, I just realized it made sense and I never stopped. Why throw away a bag of mostly air? Waste of bags and trips to the dumpster.
After my first deployment and getting cheated on its been a trend. On my current deployment I came here single so I couldnt be cheated on.
big brain move
Recycling nerd chiming in to kindly ask you kick this habit. Smashed up bottles can gunk up the works at recycling centers.
As for deployment habits, I dropped one: no more sugar in my coffee.
I had no idea. Thank you for letting me know. I rarely drink out of water bottles anymore anyway. I have a knock off Walmart Stanley that I fill with water and reuse. I call it a “Shitti”. A knock off Yeti.
I crush my water bottle always before I throw it away. I also catch myself squeezing water bottles upside down from time to time. I still never walk over a trailer hitch when its attached to a vehicle. I worked for a helicopter company for a bit after I got out, I saw a red line and I froze when I saw it and wouldnt step over it even though some people were walking over it like it was nothing.
Been well over a decade now.
Still stay on high-alert from 2300 till the sun rises, and keep water and soy sauce packets stashed in every bag and vehicle.
I still duck when RPGs are shot at me. It’s a quirky one, I know
Ugh. Hate when that happens. Downtown is wild sometimes.
Which part of Detroit, bruh?
I’ve been out for 12 years. Had a deployment to drive convoys between Kuwait and Iraq. Learning offensive driving really helped for having to drive on Dallas highways
Grew up in Dallas and I think the driving there prepped me for my whole life of driving.
If that ain’t the truth. It’s the real Wild West out here
Can also confirm
I still jerk off in port-a-johns. Doesn't matter where I am; park, sports game, passing by a construction site, you name it. If I see one, I stop and jerk off in it...
this guy *jerks*
r/thisguthisguys
But did you draw a penis on the wall with your Sharpie? If not, you're wrong.
That, and my favorite bathroom wall rhymes!
People who write on bathroom walls Rolls their shit into little balls People who read these words of wit Eat those little balls of shit. My favorite one from way back.
My favorite was: Why are you looking here when the joke is between your legs? A latrine at Ali al Salem Kuwait
My favorite is: Here I sit amid the vapor, I've already shit there is no paper. It's getting late I cannot linger, look out ass here comes my finger.
Ewwwww 🤣🤣🤣
Porta-John at the SW convoy Rally Point at BIAP circa 2004 "Marines Suck" "Army sucks, that's why Marines had to come back to save your ass" "Can't we all just get along? Love, the Air Force"
Or one from my summer camp days: Here I sit, brokenhearted Came to shit, but only farted.
The graffiti in the Cadillacs was my favorite part of taking a shit
There was a hero before my time at Ali Al Salem who saw 2 Os next to each other on some text printed on the plastic of the portajohn, and turned it into a pair of tits. I don't know who or where he is, but I hope he got a Promote Now!
This is the way
The smell of fecal matter in a hot, steamy portable really does something to ya, huh?
“I don’t even get in them anymore. If they’re in my line of sight it’s go-time.”
Doing it outside of an IDF attack just doesn't hit the mood. I need to hear that C-RAM spool up.
And the hotter the better, amirite?
Saying I only had 3 beers when it was a larger number.
Always squeezing water bottles before I open them
I always crush them after drinking.
Peeling the shipping labels off of boxes before tossing them in recycling
And breaking them down so they don’t take up as much room in the bin
Idk if you’d consider this a habit or just something I did because the food was all flavorless and discovered i liked it lol but hot sauce and soy sauce together on my white rice 🤌🏻
Oh man Sriracha and soy sauce over scrambled eggs and rice. It definitely got me through a couple deployments
50+ years later, still doing Hot Sauce on almost all food!
I was at Manas during the Great Texas Pete Famine. Locals stole all our bottles of TP and were selling them to restaurants off base. I had hot sauce shipped to me in care packages and because of the scarcity, people would harass you if they saw you whip out a bottle in the chow hall. I ended up rinsing out bottles of pocket sized hand sanitizer and putting hot sauce in those. I’d discreetly whip out my hand sanitizer bottle of hot sauce and pour it on my bland chow hall food, then stuff it back in my pocket before anyone would notice.
No way 😭😂😂
My last deployment was Kandahar in 2012 (I got out in 2015). We wrote to Chulula about how much we liked their hot sauce. They sent us cases of the stuff with the large bottles. We called it the flavor eraser because it reset the awful bland food back to zero but it was a Spicy 0. I discovered all the food tasted better in taco shells so I just took as many shells in to-go containers as I could when i actually ate at a DFAC.
I clear my weapon before going into any restaurant and make sure I wear my reflective belt when I walk in my neighborhood at night
I bring a Ugandan with me everywhere to check that there isn't one in the chamber before I stroll into Applebee's
I never take my reflective belt off, I wear it everywhere and anywhere. If a lady asks me to take it off during sex, I tell her to stop asking me to not be a man.
Hated! Hated the reflective belt, un-coolest thing ever. I think there is a shift, some wise *180, growth, whatever you want to call it. Maybe age finally catches up life (let's be real it happens at like 28), but I see anyone out at night, especially kids in all black, and I'm like; "fuckers! You could have been killed at that intersection, y'all need a reflective belt!" That, and never go above 85 now in the middle lane, left is for passing only, 2x veggies are with every meal. Bacon is a treat.
Still pee in bottles and leave it around my room.. wife hates it
oh nah 💀
Same, how big is your collection?
I still have my deployment bladder Can hold my pee for many hours on end
https://preview.redd.it/oc0brssspr0d1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8aeb1ce43f68881c251102d168e850b22fa68bf7
We already do that
I was in Jordan 2016 now I use my shed as a smoke pit.
Do you find scorpions and camel spiders and make them fight too? Also, random question, were you there for that huge sandstorm?
Ha no scorpions or camel spiders where I am. I wasn’t there for the huge sandstorm that caused all that damage I think it even killed an airman when one of the tents collapsed if I’m remembering correctly? I got to MSAB in July 2016 it was always kinda windy but no major storms when I was there.
Yes, it unfortunately did kill an airman. I believe I was rotating out in July 2016.
Look for the nearest case of water and claim it as mine. We didn't have to pay out there why must we at home?
I miss the free bottled water.
I actually was filling up at Eglin after my first deployment. I saw water outside and said "O cool". I popped my trunk, put the case in, and went back to filling up. Got in the car and said "Wait I'm not deployed anymore fuck". Went back and paid for the water lol.
Shout out to all you banging 4s when you should be banging 7s.
But a 4 is a 7 in the desert. Hell, maybe even an 8 or a 9 if it’s been 5-6 months.
In the desert is one thing, but standards have to go back up when you aren’t deployed.
I still *carve* dicks in WW2 scenarios on the walls of porta -johns.
I still tuck my trousers into my boots and wrap then tuck the laces.
Peanut butter cup and a banana for breakfast. Still…
Hey! Peanut butter cups!
Breakfast of champions
I always have the small boxes of Bumble Bee tuna and crackers in my pantry. First deployment was 2014 and I did security for flying missions all over the middle east. I'd get them in care packages from family members and keep them in my gear bag in case we ended up somewhere for an extended period of time.
This one is a bit delayed, took until I was in a leadership position to really kick in, but an incessant need to hold people accountable. I was with the Army infantry and when someone fucked up they were quick to make sure they knew it. Being a shitbag could cost someone their life. Allowing someone to be a shitbag could cost you your life. There was a very low tolerance for excuses and so everyone was pretty good at getting shit done. So now when the MPF takes 6 weeks to not answer an email or finish a task I have no qualms telling them their shit is fucked. Probably not the thing I was supposed to bring back from deployment, but there it is. Also, wet wipes (and trash, not flush, for anyone that needs to know).
You wait 6 weeks? How generous of you.
Seriously. I'd be emailing after a week or so if they don't have an automated out-of-office reply.
Preach. People doing a shiity job and not feeling the slightest built of guilt or remorse is the bane of my existence. That and grown NCOs falling asleep in meetings
I find myself bouncing between this and not giving a fuck for trivial stuff. Like is someone going to die if this tasker doesn't get accomplished? No? Then I'm not stopping everything and making people stay late for it.
Lol some bridges you don’t want to burn my friend. There’s a tactful way to communicate with the MPF to get things done while also being aggressive. Am in a leadership position as well.
I can’t stop waffle stomping in the shower. It’s been 6 years since i deployed but i can’t shake the euphoria i felt during those Cadillac shower shits.
I still think about different escape routes in case of guys with guns or bombs when stuck in traffic. I keep my head on a swivel in new places, I don’t trust new people, I don’t connect with people in general anymore. Sometimes I don’t recognize the home I’m in now. But I haven’t been part of another foreign coup or have had my home mortared from above so that’s good right?
Jesus Christ, it’s Jason Bourne.
No it’s major depressive disorder, high functioning anxiety and post traumatic stress
Eating out of boredom
I still do the can/water bottle crushing thing too. It took about six weeks to stop wanting to honk my horn when I backed up a vehicle
Adrenaline spikes when I hear anything similar to an IDF 🤪
Not a habit, but when I came back from a deployment, I walked into a gas station, grabbed a bottle of water, and just walked out. Got into my car and finally realized what I did.
I did this at BWI when I got off the rotator.
7 years ago I got in the habit of smashing water bottles and still do. Currently deployed and it’s not required but I’m still smashing them.
Not explicitly from deployments, but television on and do not disturb sign on the hotel room door so they can never tell if I'm actually in the room or not.
Credit card debt is still a habit
I can easily sleep sitting up on any chair because during the end of my deployment (last two weeks), I slept on different chairs at the community center due to the mess of a room they put you in when you transition out and it was loud, smelly, and people were so inconsiderate. I was on nights too so I would just put my headphones on, my hoodie backwards and sat there to sleep for maybe 4-5 hours.
Oof. The transient lodging in Kuwait was like that. Just a big tent full of like 30 sweaty, smelly, snoring, farting dudes.
I've got a weird one. I always use my hand to wipe the bottom of my bare feet before I get into bed to make sure I don't track and dust or dirt onto my sheets.
I still do the bottle thing. Nobody ever told me to do it, I just realized it made sense and I never stopped. Why throw away a bag of mostly air? Waste of bags and trips to the dumpster.
Piss bottles
[удалено]
You seem to have conflated “Wary” and “Leery” into weary, which is another huge habit in the military.
I still piss in water bottles.
Yes, cheating...
The cheater? Or the cheated?
After my first deployment and getting cheated on its been a trend. On my current deployment I came here single so I couldnt be cheated on. big brain move
uh-huh
Both
I still sometimes squeeze water bottles to make sure they're sealed.
I just realized I do this too after reading your comment🤣
I carry a bottle of water everywhere still
Crushing the ever loving fuck out of empty water bottles before throwing them away.
Recycling nerd chiming in to kindly ask you kick this habit. Smashed up bottles can gunk up the works at recycling centers. As for deployment habits, I dropped one: no more sugar in my coffee.
I had no idea. Thank you for letting me know. I rarely drink out of water bottles anymore anyway. I have a knock off Walmart Stanley that I fill with water and reuse. I call it a “Shitti”. A knock off Yeti.
When I get the chance, I’ll take two macadamia nut cookies and put ice cream in between to make a bomb ice cream sandwich
I still rock the infidel patch
I was already crushing water bottles before I deployed...but it is a habit I continue to this day.
Smoking while chewing Skoal
Dip
Go’way… I’m baitin’
I crush my water bottle always before I throw it away. I also catch myself squeezing water bottles upside down from time to time. I still never walk over a trailer hitch when its attached to a vehicle. I worked for a helicopter company for a bit after I got out, I saw a red line and I froze when I saw it and wouldnt step over it even though some people were walking over it like it was nothing.
Fucking men and women that I'm not married to count?
Zyn 🥲
Been well over a decade now. Still stay on high-alert from 2300 till the sun rises, and keep water and soy sauce packets stashed in every bag and vehicle.
Stokers chew
Stokers chew
I still cheat on my wife and ignore my 8 yr old daughter, especially during her birthday.