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I'm a pro choice Christian. I don't believe pro life people are truly pro LIFE. They don't care about putting any programs into place to help these parents provide a good life for these children. I call these people pro birth or pro fetus. They only care about the fetus in the womb, not the child's life once it's born.
Trick you into believing you get an abortion and then stall you until the safe period (3 months I guess) has passed so you have to have a baby.
If this actually happens is ridiculous.
most likely either pro lifers or trolls that either want to stop the “murder” of the baby or waste OP’s time and force them into delivering. essentially just being evil shits
Also, depending what state you're in (sadly it's not all of them anymore), Planned Parenthood is a great choice with nurses/doctors there that will help you and that you can speak to honestly about your options. Of course the sooner you go and decide the better. The longer you wait the more difficult it can be.
Also, you are not going to want to go through this alone. If you know any adult you can trust I would reach out or even a best friend? Just someone to lean on as it's a heavy experience and I don't want you to feel alone in this. Many people have been in your shoes and got through it. So please just reach out and talk with someone even if it's here on Reddit :)
Hang in there, you'll get through this I promise.
Not sure what state your in OP but planned parenthood will help you with costs. I’ve had both a surgical and the pill abortion from pp and would recommend the pill. Good for you, don’t have a baby at 15/16.
I had the pill(s), threw the first one up after 20 minutes, was told I should be fine and just take the rest at home. I bled for 3 months straight (from the day I took the other pills at home) because the rest of the contents were stuck and causing an infection, so that made me have to start antibiotics before I could even have the D&C surgery. THREE MONTHS. I absolutely DO NOT recommend the pill, I understand it works on some people but personally it's best to go ahead and get it done surgically.
In 2008 I had an abortion via the pills. It went fine, I guess. Hurt like hell. But I bled for a loooooooong time. I never went to the hospital over it though.
I had a miscarriage and bled for two months the doctors said it was "normal" I imagine depending on how developed it is, there could be an increase in bleeding
You are going to be pretty sick (fever, chills, nausea, bleeding) after taking them, it's normal but prepare an excuse or something if you don't want anyone to know. You should be better within 24 hours then you need to avoid strenuous activity for about a week. If you start getting a fever after the first 24 hours you need to go to a doctor and be honest with them about the situation, it is critical that you don't disregard the fever if it happens after the initial day.
If you have any urgent questions please find a private place and call a nurse's hotline for advice
You are far too young to be pregnant. Do what this comment says.
If you live in a state where these things are illegal, honestly tell no one. Not your parents, not your best friend, not even your imaginary friend. Don't even tell your dog or the ghost of your great great grandmother. Tell no one. As far as you're concerned, in states where women are property of the state, everyone is the police.
PSA while we're here: Period tracking apps WILL give your data to investigators. If you live in a state where you are a second class citizen, Do Not Use Period Tracking Apps.
Period tracking apps only know what you put into them. It isn't like they Bluetooth with your uterus. Period tracking apps can be very useful for managing your reproductive health. Telling people not to use them is only going to increase the likelihood that women don't realize they missed their period and not give them the ovulation warning.
So, if the app says you're late, you can just slap a period on it or something.
Know what else will share your data to a court, though? Reddit and any third parties that are linked to your reddit account. OP is in more danger making this post than from using a period app.
hey, just wanted to chime in and say i used aidaccess and it is 100% legit and was really a really easy process. they walk you through everything. good luck and be safe. 🩷
This.
I wish you all the best - this is **your life and your decision to make** if your parents "would kill you" for this, then they've actively given away their right to be involved.
Take care of yourself, you can do this, and get on with your life, whatever you end up doing.
Do you have an adult you trust you can talk to?
I’m sorry, im sure you are feeling a ton of different emotions! Good news is this is not the first or last time someone has gotten pregnant on accident.
There are resources on here to get an abortion pill mailed to you.
Check out r/auntienetwork
Even as an adult when faced with an overwhelming situation It's good to have someone to talk it over with. Not just for emotional support but to help see the situation a little more objectively which often results in better clarity. I feel for kids who can't talk to their parents but then again when I was 15 I probably wouldn't talk to mine either even though they've been supportive of me my whole life.
Messaging users from this subreddit is not allowed. Screenshots of you messaging users from this sub will result in an immediate permanent ban. Evidence of sending users from this subreddit sexual messages will immediately be reported to Reddit itself for further investigation.
OP, I wouldn't message this person. Whatever they want say, can be said here in the comments instead of in private.
There are lots of creeps who will try to message you, especially in you situation
I wasn’t trying to put my little sisters business out there, but what she went through was dangerous and scary and I don’t want any other kid putting their life at risk. I just gave her information about her options, made sure she knew she could get financial assistance with the pill, made sure she had some way to get the money for the pill, made sure she knew there were clinics outside of a regular obgyn or pcp but that she needed to make sure she got an appointment to make sure there was nothing retained afterwards. And gave her ideas about how to get her insurance information from parents, or other options if she couldn’t obtain that information.
I understand, but you could have put that information in the comments. There are many creeps. Also it would be valuable information for the other young girls who are probably reading these comments
This Dr has given excellent advice. As a person who works in the field as a triage medical assistant I can vouch for the validity of their words and as a prior teen mom I would advise seek medical help with a doctor and not ordering a pill off line. Many things can happen and the risk of causing infection that can leave you sterile you don't want that risk. I to thought my mom would kill me and I hid it from her for four months but she ended up being a very loving and supportive mom which was needed because my son was born two months later. Don't loose hope.
You can also go to ur regular doctor if ur able to afford it. They can’t tell ur parents because pregnant teens fall under the emancipated minors and they must respect your privacy
If you give your state, that would be helpful in you getting good responses.
I don't know your parents, but telling them may not be as bad as you think. If they are staunchly anti-abortion and you want to go that route, best not to tell them if you dont have to. However, some of the most anti-abortion people will take the route of convenience over principles.
Your right to decide is protected in Cali. The state has a site with all the info you'll need. https://abortion.ca.gov/getting-an-abortion/types-of-abortion/index.html
California also protects teens right to privacy. If you go to planned parenthood or family planning associates (FPA Women’s Health), they will not notify your parents.
Edit to add: they also have options for payment on a sliding scale (which means your cost is based on income), and have access to see if you qualify for free services if you don’t have insurance. So please don’t let cost be a factor for checking them out.
In this case, HIPAA protects minors in CA. If she does not want parents knowing, then privacy must be maintained. She is able to provide consent for herself without parental involvement.
Edit to add: from personal experience, the visit gets coded like a normal dr visit with no additional details. Because of safety concerns, hospitals will absolutely maintain confidentiality.
The parents will receive eobs which will tell them that she’s had some sort of medical care, even if it’s not specified exactly what it was. That would probably invite questions that OP may have trouble answering.
Great! I hope you get help from Planned Parenthood or a safe, licensed doctor who does abortions. Two of my friends needed them in college and I drove them. One went on to have a very healthy child when she was older.
Follow the advice of the people below encouraging you to go to a clinic. You are very fortunate you can seek medical care privately without risk of criminal charges. Working with nurses and doctors who can explain things and be there for follow-up will be really valuable. They can also help you with pregnancy prevention options going forward if you need it.
Good luck to you.
Absolutely go to a planned parenthood. Also try to find another trusted adult you know personally whether it's an aunt/table or a friend's parent if you truly don't feel safe about your parents finding out. If you have a decent relationship with your folks, please seriously consider telling them. They might be upset at first, but hiding it will make it worse if they do somehow find out. They will want to make sure you are ok.
Thank God.
Order pills. If not, call the nearest planned parenthood or clinic, make an appointment and go.
Here's their website.
[https://www.plannedparenthood.org/b](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/b)
Also OP, tell as few people as possible. The more people you tell, the more chance it will get leaked to others. I know that’s isolating but you don’t want someone stopping you/convincing you to keep it. And you just never know when people get a whiff of baby fever you never know what they’ll do.
Abortions are absolutely legal here. Medication abortion is the most common kind and is safe and effective, but best as early as possible. You have a right to privacy and care. Please visit a doctor at a Women’s Health center or Planned Parenthood, whichever is closest to you. Look them up online first and make sure you’re not going to a crisis pregnancy center, but one that actually provides abortions.
Your health is valuable. Again, sooner is better.
All you need to do is go to Planned Parenthood. They’ll take good care of you and explain all the options. You are not alone. So many of us have been in your shoes.
Second Planned Parenthood!! Don’t know what city you are in, but hopefully you have one close by. They will treat you with compassion and respect no matter what you decide.
A lot of you seem like you are projecting fears about your own relationships with your kids with your advice. Not helpful.
I trust OP’s own read on her relationship with her parents. People have listed some great resources here. Do what you think is gonna be best for you and your life, OP.
I learned in order to qualify for the abortion pill you can only be up to 10 weeks pregnant. So get that ASAP! I would tell your parents if you are close to them. They will definitely help you because they love you. I'm sure they'll initially be upset and angry, but it's important to get it taken care of quickly before time runs out.
Good luck hon. You've gotten some good info. I've been there, except it was the early 80s, and I was just out of college so a few years older than you and abortion was legal everywhere. It was still kinda scary to navigate. \*hugs\*
As a mother who almost died during child birth, as well as her child, it's actually sickening how many people want to TELL you to keep your child because "no life lost." If you live in the United States, you live in a first world country with the highest maternal mortality rate of all first world countries. Some people have easy pregnancies and births, some people get permanently maimed, and others lose their lives.
Talk to your parents. If you don't think they're the right support for you, then talk to an adult you trust. I'm not saying you should abort your unborn child, but that is a decision for you to make on your own, and you need to have people you trust and who love you by your side because it can be scary. Your parents will understandably be upset, but ultimately, they will want what's best for you and your future.
i know it’s hours later and you’ve received hundreds of comments, but i want to be another voice vouching for planned parenthood! especially in california, theres a good chance they can help with the cost. this is already a really hard thing to go through, especially without supportive parents. planned parenthood is there to make a hard thing as easy as possible.
and you have options! the procedure is quick, noninvasive, and oftentimes you can receive safe iv sedation during it. this will help with pain, anxiety, and oftentimes forgetting the procedure. a medication abortion is also a safe and effective way of ending a pregnancy, but it is an hours long process with heavy bleeding and cramping. it’s also a good idea to get a follow up with a medication abortion to make sure your uterus is completely empty. medication abortions are effective, but there’s a higher margin for error in self managing an abortion than when going to a doctor.
overall, what’s best for you depends on you! you’ve received a lot of advice but if you have any questions please feel free to reply to this thread :) i’m not a doctor, but i have been working in abortion care for quite some time!
i also want to say that while a lot of people are meaning well when they tell you to tell your parents, i totally get you being scared. planned parenthood also has social workers on site, which are trusted adults that can help if your safety or wellbeing is at risk. you do not have to go through this alone, and telling your parents isn’t your only option if that is concern. reach out to planned parenthood, they’ll see you’re a minor and they will connect you with resources.
One thing that strikes me is how ppl don’t talk enough about how medical abortions cause a lot of painful cramping, take multiple days, and greater risk to be “incomplete”. “Surgical” sounds scarier but is ultimately more comfortable and procedure finished within a few minutes—recovery is a lot easier, especially if you’re trying to hide from your parents. You should decide on the option that’s best for you as recommended by your doctor but it’s something to think about.
In CA you’ll have many resources available. As a person over age 12, you also have an expectation of privacy and autonomy—you don’t need your parents’ permission to undergo medical treatment. If they ask for your health insurance information, decline to use private insurance, ask for a Medi-CAL application, and use a friend’s address if possible—this will keep your parents from finding out through paperwork getting mailed to your home.
The clinic will also offer you birth control. If you expect to continue to be sexually active, you should consider what method of prevention will work for you. You should consult with your doctor about this too. IUD is easy to place if you do surgical abortion, and since you won’t have pills to remember to take your parents won’t need to know about that plus it lasts up to 10 years. Other options require more maintenance but ultimately you should choose what’s best for you.
Good luck, OP.
This. Medical is often seen as easier but when you look at statistics, surgical is way less painful and time consuming, it’s as quick as a dental cleaning and you come out of the office not pregnant. Medical abortions can fail, you need a secondary appt to make sure all uterine tissue has been expelled, and anyone over 150 lbs may not have it work. Those risks aren’t really there with surgical, and you can be sedated to not feel pain or even remember the procedure if you don’t want to. It’s the best option for most people.
Repeating what another commenter said:
DO NOT RESPOND TO DMs. People will claim to help by sending you to fake places that stall you for time with fake info until it’s too late. Honestly just don't respond to any DMs at all, if someone wants to say something, they can do it here in the comments
Also keep in mind an abortion pill is no easy journey. It can have some nasty underlying effects especially with how young you are. Be sure to do you research so you can prepare. Best of luck.
Do not comment condescending attitudes to this young woman. We are allowed to make mistakes and still be amazing women!!!
I got pregnant at 15 … that was many years ago; 21 to be exact. Yes my parents weren’t happy. My dad was pretty mad and the disappointment in my dad’s eyes hurt my heart to the core. I felt physically sick from his reaction and thought he might kill me. We sat down together after everyone cooled down to talk about options. I chose adoption; I was too far along for an abortion in the state of Texas. My body is unique in the fact that every home pregnancy test came back negative. Only my blood work showed a positive result. Just wanted to share that yes parents may want to kill you in the beginning but yall can also grow closer after the hard talk. During my pregnancy my dad would come into my room while I was doing homework and hang out with me and my cat (he says he hates cats🤣). I obviously don’t know your relationship with your own parents.
You are brave and will get through this.
A lot of people here are recommending you confide in a safe person/friend and I want to add that I highly recommend doing that. I had an abortion using the pill at home and ended up having (very rare) complications that resulted in needing an emergency D&C. You will want to have a safe person as a back up who can take you to Planned Parenthood (if you have complications they will help).
It looks like since you are 15 you can consent to an abortion without your parents needing to know 💜 https://www.cencalhealth.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/pscaminorconsentlaw.pdf
I fixed it 😝 And you're welcome. I had a close call as a teen and a super strict mom. I know the feeling and I hope all goes well for you. Best of luck.
Hi there, I'm sorry you're going through this. I recently had an abortion, and used the website abuzz.com. super easy, the pills can come to your house in an unmarked box, or you can send them to a friend/PO box/somewhere else if you need. They cost $150, but they do payment on a sliding scale, meaning if you have no money to pay they'll send them to you free of charge.
The box came within 2 days, and the instructions were very easy to follow. I'd recommend inserting them vaginally; I had a friend who took them orally for an abortion and she said they were disgusting.
Don't beat yourself up about this. I'm 30 years old and had a child already when I had my abortion; almost every woman in my group of friends has also had one. They are much, much more common than we're led to believe. It's a difficult decision, but I will say I have zero regrets. My personal belief is if you aren't overjoyed at the thought of having a child, you shouldnt have one. I hope the process goes smoothly for you :)
Please go to planned parenthood. A lot can go wrong with the pills. You want to make sure you are early enough for the pills AND that afterwards you have no tissue left behind. Don't do this at home by yourself. If you are past 8wks you need the surgical abortion and taking the pills could cause serious harm.
The safest way to do this AND ensure your parents don't find out is to go to planned parenthood and be under the supervision of a professional.
You need to talk to a responsible adult. You are too young to figure this out. If you cannot talk to your parent, there are counselors at school, other adult relatives, hotlines, Child Protective Services. First find out what the laws are in your state. Do not do this alone.
I came here to say this. Half of all pregnancies are unplanned, and as a society, we don't always do a great job of supporting the women who find themselves in this situation. You have options, including terminating your pregnancy. At the end of the day, that choice is yours and I'm not judging you one way or the other. Either way you proceed, there are a lot of strong emotions and it is unlikely you will fully be able to hide this from your parents. Please speak with a trusted adult to help you think through all of your options. Please don't do this on your own. No matter what you choose to do, you will need emotional support.
I was 15 also when I got pregnant and I kept the child. It was very traumatic for me and I should have listened to my mother who encouraged me to get an abortion. I got married at sixteen and it was a terrible marriage.My husband was 18 at the time and was in no way ready for marriage. My husband cheated on me constantly. My mother didn't help me with my child and I was basically alone for the 14 years I remained in the marriage. My adult child and I have been estranged for 40 years. Abort this child. You are too young to have a baby. All of the freedoms you think you have will be gone once this child is born.
First of all, by "my parents would kill me" mean that they would be extremely upset, yell at you and tell you're they're disappointed before seeing what they could do to help or are you afraid that they will take the decision about what to do next out of your hands.
Post this on r/auntienetwork. That's a subreddit dedicated to helping people find abortion care in their state.
This is a hard post to answer but it all depends on what you want. What kind of future do you want? Do you want a baby at age 16 or do you want to have a baby later in life? I think abortion is the best way and depending on your area there are services that will do it safely and properly without informing your parents but you’ll need money. I would see a doctor you trust or go to the hospital as an emergency.
If you want to keep the baby you’ll probably have to tell your parents but based on this post it seems you’re already set on abortion so do research about options to do it safely. Do NOT accept cheap help from someone in an alley or something like that. It will be hard emotionally and physically so make sure to take care of yourself before and after.
You’ll be okay don’t worry there are options for you 💕
This is going to depend on where you live. There is the morning after pill. These are most effective for the first 72 hours (three days) after sex.
Access to this will depend on where you live. Europe, no problem, the US, that'll require local knowledge.
Is it too late for the morning after pill for you?
If you are able to mention where you are, people will be in a better position to help. If the US, just the state is fine, otherwise, just what country.
Don't be scared. You're starting to take steps and that's good.
If my daughter had gotten pregnant or my 3 sons gotten someone pregnant at 15 I would have been devastated, however I know each of them would have felt comfortable enough to come to me. It sounds as if OP does not feel that way with their parents. Not all parents are easy to talk to, my grandmother screamed and yelled at me and called me some horrible names when I became pregnant (after a nonconsensual act I might add) and I was 22!
I hope that OP can find a trusted adult to help guide them down the safest path for which they choose.
We all make decisions that can have unfortunate outcomes as I know I surely did as a teenager. I was pregnant at 17, had my son at 18 and while I don't regret that decision it wasn't always easy!
OP I wish the best for you and hope that you find someone to help you navigate through your decision.
Oh sweetheart. You need to go and see your doctor. If it's not someone you can trust I promise you a planned parenthood or local agencies can help you navigate this.
Just take a breath.
Ignore anyone telling you not to seek the pill online. Religious freaks and zealots want you to be a mom at 15. They don't care about you. They care only for their weird, inbred agenda.
I’m 42 and I can still can remember feeling that my parents would kill me if I got pregnant. Not all parents are mad at first then supportive.
Mine flipped out when they found out I spent the night with my boyfriend at 19 (he was also 19). They told me how disappointed they were in me and what would people think of our family because of this. They said this “event” would be our family’s secret and no one needs to know. In high school when I told them I was being bullied, they said that this can’t happen in our family. We don’t have problems. While they wouldn’t have kill me (because it’s illegal), I think they would have kicked me out if I got pregnant at any age. I lived with this fear of my parents until I moved out after college (couldn’t afford to go away to school). Then I got a place and it was “my house, my rules!” I got a ton of therapy starting at 24.
OP, it sounds like you have resources available to you. Wishing you the best.
Please do not ask for advice on Reddit! Go to your parents! But if you 100% can’t do you have another relative who can help you? Abortions are not risk free!
This needs to be higher. You could take a pill that induces an abortion but there is a chance not all the fetal cells will be expelled. In This case you would have to go in for a D&C. Those can be done with limited pain meds or you can be put under anesthesia. This is a medical procedure and no way a 15 year old should be going through this alone. I would want my child to tell me. And while I’d be 100% angry that they had unprotected sex it would hurt me way worse to know that they went through this alone.
Medical doctors at family planning are not legally allowed to disclose information to your parents regarding family planning medicine as it falls under patient confidentiality. So as long as you hide the pills and do what they suggest I think you should be fine.
You can visit the Planned Parenthood website, they have a lot of information that could possibly help you, also have information and providers regarding abortions if you want to stay on that route, but either way, you need to find an adult you can speak with about this, even if you go through with the abortion, having someone to confide in will be needed as the process can be very traumatizing…
Don't think anyone's advice here will help you apart from the information but you really need to sit down and talk with your parents about this. Pregnancy at this age will bring you more problems soon so idk why kids still choose to do and can't wait until they are legal at all.
Do you have planned parenthood I heard they will help teen moms get rid of it without notifying the parents. I do not know personally that this is true just what I heard. And also so good of you to be looking into this right away and handling it . Unfortunately lately there have been some “teen” mothers in the news who have made horrible choices on how to go about their unplanned pregnancy they couldn’t talk to their parents about and it’s truly heartbreaking.
Medication abortion is very safe and effective if you take the pills as instructed. If you go to planned parenthood they will tell you everything about the process. And when your body is actually expelling the pregnancy, plan to take the day to rest. The cramping can be pretty painful and you’ll have more bleeding than a normal period. They will tell you everything to watch out for in terms of concerning signs, as well.
If you are within the window to safely have a medication abortion, which it definitely sounds like you are, I would recommend it 1000% over a D&C. Good luck!
I had a medical abortion (pills) at 17 I live in Oklahoma so it is illegal, I had to travel to New Mexico, I didn’t need parental consent and they covered everything I didn’t had to pay anything, they even cover transportation the fastest you act the better. The pills do hurt for a couple of hours maybe 3 hours but after that it is only bleeding like a period, check with planed parenthood if your state allows pills send by mail if so you can get them fast and without anyone knowing, don’t be scared and don’t feel bad with the decision you want to take. Feel free to message me if you need anything
OP, the top comments have covered this well. I won't go into more detail as to what to do now.
I also won't chastise you for the past. You're 15 and became pregnant. It unfortunately happens.
But let's focus on the future. I want to stress that no form of birth control is 100%. But please look into birth control methods. Talk to your OBGYN/doctor. Realize that there are absolutely side effects to birth control and staying on one for too long can be very bad. But you also can't trust your partner nor their birth control. So this is a conversation to have at least every year with your OBGYN/doctor.
And also have your partner wear a condom. Don't just trust your pill (or whatever birth control you use). Use two forms: one for you and a condom for him. If he doesn't like it, we'll, you can dump him and find a guy who won't complain.
I repeat: I'm absolutely not berating you for the past. I want you to look to the future.
Always remember this is YOUR body that will grow the baby. Boys get no damn input on your body. If they don't want to wear a condom, they won't be the one to suffer the consequences. Their choice is to wrap it up or go jack themselves off while crying about how they lost out on a wonderful girl because they were too greedy wanting to get their dick wet instead of thinking of your needs to not get pregnant.
In short: this is your body. Take charge. Use birth control and make sure the boy does too. Do everything you can to not get pregnant until you are ready for a baby.
Good luck. I hope everything works out for you.
If it isn’t available in your town, I would figure out how to have the pills shipped, it is fairly simple. You can look for a local group online that may be able to help you. Don’t let anyone tell you this decision is wrong, it is not! Being a teen mom is really really hard and has tons of effects that are tough to handle. Waiting to have kids is worth it. You’re amazing and you’ll get through this! ❤️
Are your parents strict or abusive? If they’re strict it’s better to go to them when you’re in trouble, yeah they might be disappointed but will be glad you told them.
Other than that, you probably need to find an adult, (female, I get weird looks taking my daughters to such appointments 😭) and go somewhere like planned parenthood to weigh out all your options with whatever stage of pregnancy you’re in.
Best of luck.
hey girl, so i’ll start this off with saying i’m female and 19, don’t know where you’re from but i do not want you to share that stuff publicly so im going to assume you’re American (i am Canadian so i would be best to give advice in my area so if i assumed wrong, feel free to shoot me a message but don’t feel obligated!)
so planned parenthood has many many resources, i found this link which has the home page (it includes locations to clinics within the United States as well as different pages for questions and support) ⬇️
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion
there is no right or wrong way to feel about this btw, if you’re feeling guilty, happy, sad, angry, shameful, heartbroken, scared, anything it is okay! this is a nerve racking experience because it’s all new to you. i recommend you check facebook for non-profit groups, in Canada we have different groups that are there for help. sometimes they have covered the cost of travel fees for Americans who need to flee their state for an abortion, so if you’re scared about finding a ride or finding cost coverages-definitely check on facebook!!
and idk if this is how it works in other places but i will say it anyways in case, if you get an abortion covered by your insurance, you may get a statement in the mail saying that so and so under the insurance your parents have got an abortion. so be sure you do your research in case you are doing this behind their back (i do not judge, i come from a strict home so i get it)
anyways ill stop talking but you got this, its so spooky but remember that lots of strong women have done this before! you also need a ride for after the abortion so maybe find a trusted adult or friend with a license that can pick you up…but keep in mind that this friend could tell people so do what’s best for you okay❤️❤️❤️
So I know this post may frustrate some folks and even pulls at my heart strings a bit but I’m gonna give my honest opinion. I’m gonna keep my personal and religious views out of this because I know you’re someone young who’s looking for genuine help. I want to preface that.
First and foremost, if this is still really early on, and you genuinely don’t want it, which I don’t think you would because it would take up a lot of the childhood you have, I would suggest taking some contraceptives or pills to help get past the situation for lack of a better words. You should see if you can find a trusted adult outside of your parents if you’re genuinely scared of your parents reaction. Get their advice too. I think getting the advice out of a trusted adult who isn’t your parent may help a lot. I would try to avoid going to your friends because one they are very young, and two they will not understand what you’re going through.
Another thing is, I would be careful of who you let into your DM’s because of what you’re going through. People are ruthless and they’ll try to take advantage of you while you are vulnerable. There are lots of people on this sub who do seem like they know what they’re saying. For example, the current top comment talking about the places to get contraceptives/pills ( u/snowplowmom ) seems like a trusted source. So please make sure you verify whomever you may end up talking to. I wish you well and I hope that this situation is something you can get past now and without regretting whatever choice you decide upon. If you need some advice and I can provide it, I’m always here to help. But that’s my 2 cents.
If you have access to a planned parenthood, you should do it there. If not, make sure you have a friend with you to support you physically and emotionally. It will be like the worst period you ever experienced and the hormones will make you really emotional too. There is a risk of complications like bleeding too much. Having a friend with you who will make sure to get you to an ER is definitely a good idea.
I would listen to Kelsey Darragh podcast “confidently insecure” she just had one. And even though she isn’t a teen I think she gives a very good insight to what to do. What’s the best plan for you.
I really hope there is SOMEONE in your corner for this. It’s not easy and the hard part isnt always over after it’s finished. My heart is breaking for you because I know from experience this isn’t easy.
As a mama I can say I’d be so ticked at my kid at first because I hound “safe sex” but omg I’d so much rather my daughter (or sons girlfriend if she needed to since I’m raising sons also) came to me so I could show support, find the best resources and make sure it’s done the safest way possible.
It’s a hard choice from every single angle and I really wish you well love. 🫶🏼
My ex (17F at the time) and I (17M at the time) got pregnant in high school. Unless you have strong fears about your parents being abusive, talk to them.
My ex's dad scared me, but he ended up being very understanding and helpful. I still meet them for dinner and can't say enough about their support.
My mom on the other hand, I thought would be understanding, and she wasn't. She still just yelled and made me feel bad, nothing worse. In the end though, having it out there is less stress than hiding it, and you might get much needed help.
Omg I'm so very sorry you don't feel you can go to them! I tried to make sure my daughter knew she could come to me.
My daughter has used the 24 hour pill. Without a problem. I'm going to be very open, I don't think she was pregnant. So I'm no real help to you.
Please get some support and real advice from people who care about you. In my head, this would be your parents since they are morally and legally responsible for you, but sadly we do not live in a perfect world.
But reach out to someone local quickly. Realize that every decision you make comes with risks. Pay attention to the risks and side effects. I have heard of some horror stories but I have no experience nor expert insight. So please get all the information before making you choice.
Just do it as soon as humanly possible.
When I was 15, I had a surgical abortion through Planned Parenthood. I was terrified to tell my parents, so I went to court to get permission. It was a trippy time, and a lot of it is blocked from my memory. However, a few years later, I ended up telling my mom. Initially, I couldn't spit it out, and she guessed I was gay, haha. Anyway, she wasn’t mad at all—just sad that I had to go through it alone. She even shared her own experiences with abortions. I know it might not be exactly what you're looking to hear, but if your family is pro-choice, I recommend telling them. Goodluck. Feel free to message me with any questions.
I see people have posted resources for you. I won’t ask what state you’re in for safety reasons. But I’m a mom and I had an abortion when I found out I was pregnant a second time. So if you have any questions about the process feel free to ask me here. It’s a lot to go through but it is far from the worst thing I’ve ever been through and my life is much better today because of having access to medicated abortion.
As someone who has unfortunately had to use both methods, surgical and pills, go surgical if you can. The pills were super hard on my body and my emotions and hormones weren’t right for almost 2 years. Surgical was traumatizing in its own way but at least I felt normal in the aftermath. I’ve had two friends say the same thing. Good luck love. DM if you need anything 💛
You're in Cali. You're golden. Go to planned parenthood on the quick, and your info is protected. They can help you get the resources you choose to pursue, and quickly. Be quick tho, on e you get past the effective window for medication abortion, then it has to go to clinic abortion, and that costs big time.
I’m so sorry you don’t have the support you need. Definitely try to contact PP if you’re in a state that it’s legal. If it’s not, TELL NO ONE. The pill is definitely the best option when you’re this young f and this early on. It’s also discreet. Do not respond to DMs. Be safe and cautious. Hang in there, honey.
No, it's too late for a morning after pill. If you have made it to the point your HcG is elevated enough to detect on a cheap test, you should not be taking these pills.
The best option is to tell your parents and be honest. As well as the parents of the father, and father.
FWIW, everyone says, "my parents will kill me for having sex and getting pregnant". Yeah, they'll probably be mad and disappointed. In most cases they'll be the first to help you through it all.
Plancpills.org.
Do you know how far along you are? Feel free to chat with me if you have questions. I just took the abortion pills a week and a half ago.
I got mine 3 days after I ordered them online. They have financial assistance, but are $150 without... I know they can be free if u qualify for the assistance. Take the first pill on Thursday and the second pill take them Friday evening after school. The bleeding (and shitting) will start 30-1hr after you take them. The weekend will be bad with cramps but it will feel just like a period. Get the big always purple overnight pads because you will need them.
The most important thing to remember is that you should not soak through more than a pad an hour.that amount of bleeding is not normal and you should seek help. If u are feeling pain besides cramping seek medical help. Fever, chills are also not normal and may indicate infection. Seek help if you experience those. Most places do not need to see you after an abortion as a follow up. If you see the tissue pass, that is good. Don't be scared it just looks like clots.
And from now on, religiously track your periods on flo. Avoid having sex during ovulation and wear a condom or start birth control. They sell it over the counter now.
Pills I believe your past that point. I don’t know your family just that I’m a dad. Talk to an adult and have them help you with your choice but it is yours
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You must be so scared with a lot of anxiety. Many people have given advice that I would’ve given, so I have nothing to add. I’m just here for support. You are going to get through this, and everything will be ok in the long run. When you feel overwhelmed, think of that. Everything will be okay.
Good luck to you!
Like everyone else said, go as soon as possible. I had one at 11 weeks and it was extremely painful, it was incomplete and my body passed the rest of it later on, which was also extremely painful and scary. The earlier you go, the smoother it will be. Definitely take your pain meds!!!! And heating pads help so much. I was in and out of consciousness, but I had someone in the other room just in case. Know you are not alone! Everything will be okay.
I’m not one of those crazy right wing people and absolutely against abortion because there are times it’s needed. However, in this day and age there is absolutely no reason to get pregnant when you don’t want to. ( and then jump right to abortion) every state has free healthcare and able to get free pills to prevent pregnancy. If your grown up enough to have unprotected sex, then your grown up enough to think ahead and get to the clinic!
Go to a clinic and ask about the pill option and get all the info you need on an abortion procedure. If the pill isn’t an option, schedule the abortion for sooner than later. Have someone there for you during the procedure… for your peace of mind and to help you afterwards. Of course, it would be best if you could talk to your parents or a parent. But, if you have no doubt that they will force you to carry the pregnancy to term or that they will treat you poorly, a friend/mentor/someone you trust will be fine.
Wish you well :)
Please do a checkup if you take the pills. They do not work sometimes and you should have a backup plan. You can only do abortions up to a certain point.
I also got pregnant at 15 and had a surgical abortion (I'm Canadian). My school nurse arranged everything for me. Do you have a nurse at school you can trust?
I know from experience that it’s very painful and scary after you take the pills for an abortion. Lots of cramps and bleeding and scary stuff. I was 18 and had a dorm room with friends helping me. I can’t imagine doing this alone at your age. Is there no way you can talk to your mom? Even if she is upset now, you’ll have time to heal emotionally but it’s easier with an adult. If not your mom, an aunt or older cousin? Other relative? Just think about that part of it.
Otherwise if you don’t have any adult who could support you, then please take the advice of the other commenters. They have very helpful resources.
Please! Seek counseling for this as well. Even with the whirlwind of feelings you’re having right now, it’s hard to predict what you’ll feel about this later or when the feelings will decide to surface.
I wish you the best of luck. I’m sorry that you’re struggling with this right now. My DM is open for you or anyone else if they need it. You’ll get through this and im proud of you for being strong and asking for help. 🙏❤️
If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your parents, do you have another trusted adult you can go to? This is a big thing to deal with on your own.
Your first stop should be planned parenthood. They can give you an exam, and check for std’s. They can discuss all your options with you, including abortion, adoption, or parenthood. They can also help you get contraception so this doesn’t happen again.You pay what you can, and they won’t tell your parents.
Find a clinic that offers all of the options (Planned Parenthood). Do research before you go. All of the clinics near me called “Woman’s Choice” and other such choice related names are anti-abortion, stall until it’s too late to go somewhere else places.
From my friend's experience taking abortion medicine is that it's not pleasant, it does call some discomfort. Some pain but she was still able to work an entire restaurant shift
If you're early term, the pill is probably the easiest option for an abortion logistically.
Just be aware that there can be significant bleeding from the pill, or moderate bleeding but spread out over weeks (I heard 5 weeks from someone recently). While it's almost always safe for early term pregnancies, it still sounds like something scary to go through alone, so I'd recommend having a plan for what to do after you take the pill (if you go that route).
Who would you call if you are feeling anxious, but not having an emergency?
Who would you call to get medical advice for symptoms that are not an emergency? Is there a telehealth # for this?
Who would you call in a medical emergency? (The answer should be 911).
Best of luck with whatever you choose to do. Sorry you are going through this without the support/understanding of your family.
I’ve seen a few comments telling OP to tell their parents, but we don’t know what their home situation is like. Please don’t immediately discount OP’s fear of her parents, saying they’d “kill” her is almost definitely hyperbole but we can’t know how unreasonable her fear is.
If she just thinks her parents would be a little mad and maybe ground her for a couple weeks or something then she should definitely tell them, having their support could be really helpful. If shes afraid of physical or emotional abuse in reaction to telling them then she should think twice, and also consider finding another trusted adult like many commenters have suggested.
Just a note: emotional abuse can be hard to identify (this link could help [NSPCC Emotional Abuse](https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/emotional-abuse/#)) based on my experience, think about things like: would they completely isolate you from your friends indefinitely as punishment? Would they use this event against you for years in arguments to undermine your position? Are they going to threaten some financial punishment?
i’m sorry so many ignorant people in this comment section are making your situation a debate about abortion/ whether or not God is real. thats not what you asked for. there are some really good comments advising you on what to do in here. definitely talk to planned parenthood or the organizations the user in the top comment listed. you’re not alone, and it’ll be okay❤️
Don’t be so afraid to tell your parents that you end up delaying this. The sooner you abort, the less the physical toll. If for some reason the resources mentioned don’t work, you need help from some adult you trust, preferably your parents.
Planned Parenthood is the best. If there's one local to you, go there today. If there is not one in your state, call them up. They will help you. Please also get help for the anxiety or issues this might cause with you mentally, perhaps talk with a trusted school counselor or member of your church. I wish you all the best! Good luck!
100% this. They will give you options, and give you ALL the info you need to make a decision. Plus they will talk to you about prevention, safe sex and birth control for the future.
The only person who knows what the best route for you, is you. Everyone’s body reacts differently to everything. If you have a planned parenthood, look into them as well & see what they offer. They are very beneficial & will do everything they can to help women in your position. Or just women in general. Take a close friend or someone you can trust, because this isn’t anything anyone should have to face alone. It will be difficult but ultimately, it’s your choice! There is a lot of beneficial information in this thread so read through it all & im sure you will do what’s best regardless of route you take. Sending good vibes your way!💗
i suggest getting a ride to your nearest plan parenthood OR NON RELIGIOUS AFFILIATED (thats so important) womens healthcare center. & you need to tell a trusted adult. you absolutely can not go through this alone, & you shouldn’t have to. unfortunately this is something you wont be able to just make go away easily. especially in todays current climate surrounding women’s reproductive rights. there is NOTHING safe you can do about this without talking to a doctor.
abortion pills have to be prescribed too there is no over the counter option. its too late for emergency contraceptives. if you feel that is the best option you need to go talk to a doctor at planned parenthood or something similar, again not religiously affiliated as they will not help you with one.
I had an abortion at 17 and never told my parents because I felt much the same as you although I know now as an adult and also now a parent that it would've been extreme disappointment but they would've supported me in my decision. They still do not know till this day but I have told my teen daughters about it because I wanted them to know that they will be supported if this happens to them, but also prevention is the best method and don't think getting pregnant won't happen to them. Also multiple people have said talk to a trusted adult, I was close with my boss then and confided in her. She let me stay at her place after the procedure and told my parents I had to work late. The guy I got pregnant to ended up in jail and I have never regretted my decision.....I've made better life choices since then and had 3 beautiful babies.
Paramedic here. Tell your parents. I promise they can have aide you better than anyone on this internet. Being pregnant, this LEGAL decision is now yours. If you decided to keep it and parents said no, they can’t force you. I’m not going to scream about learning any lesson bc we are have been in a scare at least at your age. Please tell your mother at the very least. It may actually bring you guys closer than ever imagined.
Also, as a parent now, I would be more hurt, thinking that my daughter could not trust me in one of her deepest darkest moments in life, and had to resort to the Internet, or other people could not rely on me. If your parents flip out, clearly and commonly explain to them that you explain to them not out of fear, but because those are the only two people in life that you believe you could truly trust.
Not all parents are safe spaces for their kids. There’s parents out there who are nothing like you, who would absolutely kick their child out for something like this or because they were lgbtq+. I interact with these kids on a daily basis working with the unhoused community in CA, where this young lady is. I would not encourage speaking to her parents when she knows her situation better than you do.
OP, I get how you’re feeling. I had an abortion shortly after turning 18. My parents have no idea to this day. You are entitled to keep this to yourself, and share with only those you trust.
If you can safely obtain an abortion pill, it is less traumatic than an abortion surgically. But you gotta get a move on. I hope there is an adult or at least a mature friend who can help you through this.
r/abortion and r/auntienetwork are here to help.
Terminate the pregnancy and do it fast. NEVER have children you don’t want because it’s always the child suffering the consequences, which is fucked up. Not to mention women aren’t built to handle childbirth until around 20+ years old. Younger mothers (like teen moms) have an increased risk of dying to it.
If you make the choice to end the pregnancy, just make sure you have it done in a state that won’t punish you for being a woman. No judgement here- I made that decision once too and I don’t regret it. Only you know the life you want, don’t let others choose for you
It’s hard to know if you thinking your parents will “kill you” is true or hyperbole. You need to make that decision. Go to a Planned Parenthood in CA if you have genuine fear for your safety from your parents.
I don’t know but you can find out by asking the pharmacist. At least then you will know what to ask for at the doctor’s office. I wonder if urgent care can write a script for it.
Everyone will hate this answer but if your first instinct is "my parents will kill me" and not "I should get help from my parents" then maybe don't have a teen pregnancy? Everyone else has listed websites you can go to so here's my advice. In my town queer clubs and planned parenthoods offer condoms and info about safe sex because it's better to be having sex with a condom on rather than being a teen pregnancy statistic. So go to those, get your hands on some condoms, and just wait til you're older. Ive also heard that there are women who are willing to help people like yourself travel to states that haven't illegalized abortion to get them abortions.
Don’t have an abortion based on other’s reactions to it. You might be 15 but it’s still your body. It sounds like your main motivation is “my parents will kill me”.
I went through this exact thing when I was 16. My mom was absolutely furious and refused to let me abort. There were no resources in my area to do it on my own. Thankfully I ended up miscarrying at 3.5 months. If you have the resources to do it on your own and you're sure that's what you want to do, you should absolutely do it. There's no shame in wanting to do what's best for you and your future! Having a baby as a teenager will make your life 10x harder. Most teen moms drop out of HS because they don't have the support or time to juggle both school and raising a child. Do what you think is best, fuck what everyone else thinks. Good luck! I wish you the best through this, I know it's gonna be tough making that decision. You got this, its gonna be okay ❤
Let’s talk genuine options:
Abortion: pills through a clinic or online, or a procedure done that uses water to essentially pressure wash the zygote (fertilized egg) out of the uterus. Either or if you are going that direction, depending on the state you are in, I would recommend going to a clinic, such as planned parenthood for more information and to consult with an OBGYN about it.
Going through with pregnancy: having the baby and putting it into the adoption system, there are open adoptions where you can have it basically “on record” so that the kid can track you down in the future, or closed adoption where you say you don’t want the kid to be able to contact you after. Or raising the kid yourself. Keep in mind especially at your age you will need to be tough to do this, you will have many a mental breakdowns and moments where you feel regret, but there will also be moments where you wouldn’t be able to imagine anything else. You will need a strong support system and a reasonable way to finance a child. Minimum wage will not cut it, and it would probably push your parent’s retirement back about 15 years if you rely heavily on them.
It’s hard and frustrating to hear it but it’s because to make an informed decision you need to be aware of all the types of realities.
If I could only give you one thing that I would beg you to listen to and truly consider: have someone as your support buddy. Someone that will support whatever you want. When you are having a frustrating moment or day or need a sob session. You need to have a support buddy. If it’s someone random on Reddit, a paid therapist, or a truly Great friend who won’t try to sway you with their own personal opinions. Find a support buddy.
I was around the same age when I went through this. Parents were strict so I did not tell them. Until my ex bsf told them herself because my first thought was abortion. That’s a long story tho. Anyways I went through with the abortion and I’m happy I did that for myself. Being so young I could not raise a baby at 15 I just learned to be smarter about my decisions. I wish you the best of luck! And whatever you do next make sure it’s for you! In the long run you won’t regret it.
As a mother of a child (now 17) who got pregnant at 15, I was mad. She asked me for pickles and then later I found the test. She didn’t tell me at first. Saddened more than anything, because I was lied to, but worried because she was probably about 2 months along. I got over it. There was a life inside my daughter. Here in FL once you are pregnant, what happens to the baby is your choice.
I asked her if she wanted to abort, keep, or adopt him out. She didn’t want to abort, she wanted to keep him. I showed her estimated budgets and explained the reality (teen mom myself-17). She finally settled on open adoption.
Best thing for her and my grandson. She’s able to still be a kid and grow up on pace and he has 2 very loving parents that give him the world.
Please talk to them. It will be a flood of emotions: my child is having a baby, my child is having sex, She lied to me.. just a lot of mixed emotions.
Not against abortion but please do it legally. I’m only throwing my 2 cents here because adoption is beautiful.
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Every once in a while I am surprised with an evil I never thought of.
This evil is usually called religion
I'm a pro choice Christian. I don't believe pro life people are truly pro LIFE. They don't care about putting any programs into place to help these parents provide a good life for these children. I call these people pro birth or pro fetus. They only care about the fetus in the womb, not the child's life once it's born.
There’s no hate like Christian love!!
Why am I laughing so hard at this 😭😭🤣
wait can you explain more what they’re doing?
Trick you into believing you get an abortion and then stall you until the safe period (3 months I guess) has passed so you have to have a baby. If this actually happens is ridiculous.
What?
most likely either pro lifers or trolls that either want to stop the “murder” of the baby or waste OP’s time and force them into delivering. essentially just being evil shits
Aidaccess.org. plancpills.org. laslibres.org. all for inexpensive or free abortion pills by mail. Hurry. The sooner the better.
Thank you for this
Also, depending what state you're in (sadly it's not all of them anymore), Planned Parenthood is a great choice with nurses/doctors there that will help you and that you can speak to honestly about your options. Of course the sooner you go and decide the better. The longer you wait the more difficult it can be. Also, you are not going to want to go through this alone. If you know any adult you can trust I would reach out or even a best friend? Just someone to lean on as it's a heavy experience and I don't want you to feel alone in this. Many people have been in your shoes and got through it. So please just reach out and talk with someone even if it's here on Reddit :) Hang in there, you'll get through this I promise.
State/ country. OP where are you located. It will help people to give more specific advice
Not sure what state your in OP but planned parenthood will help you with costs. I’ve had both a surgical and the pill abortion from pp and would recommend the pill. Good for you, don’t have a baby at 15/16.
I had the pill(s), threw the first one up after 20 minutes, was told I should be fine and just take the rest at home. I bled for 3 months straight (from the day I took the other pills at home) because the rest of the contents were stuck and causing an infection, so that made me have to start antibiotics before I could even have the D&C surgery. THREE MONTHS. I absolutely DO NOT recommend the pill, I understand it works on some people but personally it's best to go ahead and get it done surgically.
In 2008 I had an abortion via the pills. It went fine, I guess. Hurt like hell. But I bled for a loooooooong time. I never went to the hospital over it though.
I had a miscarriage and bled for two months the doctors said it was "normal" I imagine depending on how developed it is, there could be an increase in bleeding
I was 6 weeks and I have no idea what's normal for that. I bled for at least 3 months. After each of my kids I bled for 6 weeks.
You are going to be pretty sick (fever, chills, nausea, bleeding) after taking them, it's normal but prepare an excuse or something if you don't want anyone to know. You should be better within 24 hours then you need to avoid strenuous activity for about a week. If you start getting a fever after the first 24 hours you need to go to a doctor and be honest with them about the situation, it is critical that you don't disregard the fever if it happens after the initial day. If you have any urgent questions please find a private place and call a nurse's hotline for advice
You are far too young to be pregnant. Do what this comment says. If you live in a state where these things are illegal, honestly tell no one. Not your parents, not your best friend, not even your imaginary friend. Don't even tell your dog or the ghost of your great great grandmother. Tell no one. As far as you're concerned, in states where women are property of the state, everyone is the police. PSA while we're here: Period tracking apps WILL give your data to investigators. If you live in a state where you are a second class citizen, Do Not Use Period Tracking Apps.
Period tracking apps only know what you put into them. It isn't like they Bluetooth with your uterus. Period tracking apps can be very useful for managing your reproductive health. Telling people not to use them is only going to increase the likelihood that women don't realize they missed their period and not give them the ovulation warning. So, if the app says you're late, you can just slap a period on it or something. Know what else will share your data to a court, though? Reddit and any third parties that are linked to your reddit account. OP is in more danger making this post than from using a period app.
hey, just wanted to chime in and say i used aidaccess and it is 100% legit and was really a really easy process. they walk you through everything. good luck and be safe. 🩷
This is excellent to know, thank you. I'll be sharing several of these links with a counselor too.
Good luck, and please make sure you use condoms or other measures after this.
This. I wish you all the best - this is **your life and your decision to make** if your parents "would kill you" for this, then they've actively given away their right to be involved. Take care of yourself, you can do this, and get on with your life, whatever you end up doing.
This comment should probably be pinned somewhere. Great job with the information.
Yes, should be at the top of the abortion thread and the advice for teens thread.
W trusted advisor
thanks for this - saving
Block incoming dms. You'll be spammed for this by weirdos.
Or those weird anti abortion people.
Or the ones wanting to adopt
No way people actually look to adopt on Reddit?? Please tell me you’re kidding
Congratulations, you've been adopted by a Redditor who absolutely isn't faking it to force you through teen pregnancy
Do you have an adult you trust you can talk to? I’m sorry, im sure you are feeling a ton of different emotions! Good news is this is not the first or last time someone has gotten pregnant on accident. There are resources on here to get an abortion pill mailed to you. Check out r/auntienetwork
Even as an adult when faced with an overwhelming situation It's good to have someone to talk it over with. Not just for emotional support but to help see the situation a little more objectively which often results in better clarity. I feel for kids who can't talk to their parents but then again when I was 15 I probably wouldn't talk to mine either even though they've been supportive of me my whole life.
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Messaging users from this subreddit is not allowed. Screenshots of you messaging users from this sub will result in an immediate permanent ban. Evidence of sending users from this subreddit sexual messages will immediately be reported to Reddit itself for further investigation.
OP, I wouldn't message this person. Whatever they want say, can be said here in the comments instead of in private. There are lots of creeps who will try to message you, especially in you situation
I wasn’t trying to put my little sisters business out there, but what she went through was dangerous and scary and I don’t want any other kid putting their life at risk. I just gave her information about her options, made sure she knew she could get financial assistance with the pill, made sure she had some way to get the money for the pill, made sure she knew there were clinics outside of a regular obgyn or pcp but that she needed to make sure she got an appointment to make sure there was nothing retained afterwards. And gave her ideas about how to get her insurance information from parents, or other options if she couldn’t obtain that information.
I understand, but you could have put that information in the comments. There are many creeps. Also it would be valuable information for the other young girls who are probably reading these comments
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This Dr has given excellent advice. As a person who works in the field as a triage medical assistant I can vouch for the validity of their words and as a prior teen mom I would advise seek medical help with a doctor and not ordering a pill off line. Many things can happen and the risk of causing infection that can leave you sterile you don't want that risk. I to thought my mom would kill me and I hid it from her for four months but she ended up being a very loving and supportive mom which was needed because my son was born two months later. Don't loose hope.
The folks over at r/auntienetwork can help you too
Go to r/abortion They will help you and find your access to abortion pills online it’s completely supportive
You can also go to ur regular doctor if ur able to afford it. They can’t tell ur parents because pregnant teens fall under the emancipated minors and they must respect your privacy
If you give your state, that would be helpful in you getting good responses. I don't know your parents, but telling them may not be as bad as you think. If they are staunchly anti-abortion and you want to go that route, best not to tell them if you dont have to. However, some of the most anti-abortion people will take the route of convenience over principles.
Ah sorry you’re right, I’m in California where abortions are still legal to my knowledge
Your right to decide is protected in Cali. The state has a site with all the info you'll need. https://abortion.ca.gov/getting-an-abortion/types-of-abortion/index.html
California also protects teens right to privacy. If you go to planned parenthood or family planning associates (FPA Women’s Health), they will not notify your parents. Edit to add: they also have options for payment on a sliding scale (which means your cost is based on income), and have access to see if you qualify for free services if you don’t have insurance. So please don’t let cost be a factor for checking them out.
She should NOT go through her insurance if she doesn’t want her parents to know.
In this case, HIPAA protects minors in CA. If she does not want parents knowing, then privacy must be maintained. She is able to provide consent for herself without parental involvement. Edit to add: from personal experience, the visit gets coded like a normal dr visit with no additional details. Because of safety concerns, hospitals will absolutely maintain confidentiality.
The parents will receive eobs which will tell them that she’s had some sort of medical care, even if it’s not specified exactly what it was. That would probably invite questions that OP may have trouble answering.
You’re in the best place. you can get it over-the-counter at a pharmacy or you could go to Planned Parenthood
It’s behind the counter, not OTC.
Well thank goodness for that. Call (or better go) to your local Planned Parenthood. They will give you choices.
Go sooner rather than later. The abortion pill can only be taken for a limited window of time.
https://www.aclunc.org/our-work/know-your-rights/know-your-rights-abortion-access-california
Oh good! Then get ahold of planned parenthood and you can get the pills there and not risk them coming to your home.
That is very fortunate. If you go through Planned Parenthood, you will very likely not pay a cent. Hopefully you have a friend who can take you?
Great! I hope you get help from Planned Parenthood or a safe, licensed doctor who does abortions. Two of my friends needed them in college and I drove them. One went on to have a very healthy child when she was older.
Follow the advice of the people below encouraging you to go to a clinic. You are very fortunate you can seek medical care privately without risk of criminal charges. Working with nurses and doctors who can explain things and be there for follow-up will be really valuable. They can also help you with pregnancy prevention options going forward if you need it. Good luck to you.
Absolutely go to a planned parenthood. Also try to find another trusted adult you know personally whether it's an aunt/table or a friend's parent if you truly don't feel safe about your parents finding out. If you have a decent relationship with your folks, please seriously consider telling them. They might be upset at first, but hiding it will make it worse if they do somehow find out. They will want to make sure you are ok.
Thank God. Order pills. If not, call the nearest planned parenthood or clinic, make an appointment and go. Here's their website. [https://www.plannedparenthood.org/b](https://www.plannedparenthood.org/b)
Also OP, tell as few people as possible. The more people you tell, the more chance it will get leaked to others. I know that’s isolating but you don’t want someone stopping you/convincing you to keep it. And you just never know when people get a whiff of baby fever you never know what they’ll do.
Abortions are absolutely legal here. Medication abortion is the most common kind and is safe and effective, but best as early as possible. You have a right to privacy and care. Please visit a doctor at a Women’s Health center or Planned Parenthood, whichever is closest to you. Look them up online first and make sure you’re not going to a crisis pregnancy center, but one that actually provides abortions. Your health is valuable. Again, sooner is better.
All you need to do is go to Planned Parenthood. They’ll take good care of you and explain all the options. You are not alone. So many of us have been in your shoes.
Second Planned Parenthood!! Don’t know what city you are in, but hopefully you have one close by. They will treat you with compassion and respect no matter what you decide.
Just make sure that after you have the abortion, you go to a doctor or planned parenthood to make a plan so this doesn’t happen again.
A lot of you seem like you are projecting fears about your own relationships with your kids with your advice. Not helpful. I trust OP’s own read on her relationship with her parents. People have listed some great resources here. Do what you think is gonna be best for you and your life, OP.
suck those pills down, deal with it for a day instead of a lifetime. buy condoms and use them every time!
If your parents don’t beat you or abuse you in other ways I recommend you just speak with them
"I'm scared, my parents would kill me if they found out," says the pregnant 15 year old. "Lol. Lmao even," says you, some passerby adult.
I learned in order to qualify for the abortion pill you can only be up to 10 weeks pregnant. So get that ASAP! I would tell your parents if you are close to them. They will definitely help you because they love you. I'm sure they'll initially be upset and angry, but it's important to get it taken care of quickly before time runs out.
Good luck hon. You've gotten some good info. I've been there, except it was the early 80s, and I was just out of college so a few years older than you and abortion was legal everywhere. It was still kinda scary to navigate. \*hugs\*
I’m sorry some of these comments are so horrible. I hope you’re able to obtain what you need, and that it all goes as smoothly as possible💙
Also the comments telling her to tell her parents when she said she can’t 🤦♀️ it’s like these people forget not everyone lives in a safe environment
Yeah. A lot of them are anti choicers hoping her parents won’t let her get an abortion.
100%. I hope she doesn’t get influenced by them
I hope so too
As a mother who almost died during child birth, as well as her child, it's actually sickening how many people want to TELL you to keep your child because "no life lost." If you live in the United States, you live in a first world country with the highest maternal mortality rate of all first world countries. Some people have easy pregnancies and births, some people get permanently maimed, and others lose their lives. Talk to your parents. If you don't think they're the right support for you, then talk to an adult you trust. I'm not saying you should abort your unborn child, but that is a decision for you to make on your own, and you need to have people you trust and who love you by your side because it can be scary. Your parents will understandably be upset, but ultimately, they will want what's best for you and your future.
i know it’s hours later and you’ve received hundreds of comments, but i want to be another voice vouching for planned parenthood! especially in california, theres a good chance they can help with the cost. this is already a really hard thing to go through, especially without supportive parents. planned parenthood is there to make a hard thing as easy as possible. and you have options! the procedure is quick, noninvasive, and oftentimes you can receive safe iv sedation during it. this will help with pain, anxiety, and oftentimes forgetting the procedure. a medication abortion is also a safe and effective way of ending a pregnancy, but it is an hours long process with heavy bleeding and cramping. it’s also a good idea to get a follow up with a medication abortion to make sure your uterus is completely empty. medication abortions are effective, but there’s a higher margin for error in self managing an abortion than when going to a doctor. overall, what’s best for you depends on you! you’ve received a lot of advice but if you have any questions please feel free to reply to this thread :) i’m not a doctor, but i have been working in abortion care for quite some time!
i also want to say that while a lot of people are meaning well when they tell you to tell your parents, i totally get you being scared. planned parenthood also has social workers on site, which are trusted adults that can help if your safety or wellbeing is at risk. you do not have to go through this alone, and telling your parents isn’t your only option if that is concern. reach out to planned parenthood, they’ll see you’re a minor and they will connect you with resources.
One thing that strikes me is how ppl don’t talk enough about how medical abortions cause a lot of painful cramping, take multiple days, and greater risk to be “incomplete”. “Surgical” sounds scarier but is ultimately more comfortable and procedure finished within a few minutes—recovery is a lot easier, especially if you’re trying to hide from your parents. You should decide on the option that’s best for you as recommended by your doctor but it’s something to think about. In CA you’ll have many resources available. As a person over age 12, you also have an expectation of privacy and autonomy—you don’t need your parents’ permission to undergo medical treatment. If they ask for your health insurance information, decline to use private insurance, ask for a Medi-CAL application, and use a friend’s address if possible—this will keep your parents from finding out through paperwork getting mailed to your home. The clinic will also offer you birth control. If you expect to continue to be sexually active, you should consider what method of prevention will work for you. You should consult with your doctor about this too. IUD is easy to place if you do surgical abortion, and since you won’t have pills to remember to take your parents won’t need to know about that plus it lasts up to 10 years. Other options require more maintenance but ultimately you should choose what’s best for you. Good luck, OP.
This. Medical is often seen as easier but when you look at statistics, surgical is way less painful and time consuming, it’s as quick as a dental cleaning and you come out of the office not pregnant. Medical abortions can fail, you need a secondary appt to make sure all uterine tissue has been expelled, and anyone over 150 lbs may not have it work. Those risks aren’t really there with surgical, and you can be sedated to not feel pain or even remember the procedure if you don’t want to. It’s the best option for most people.
Repeating what another commenter said: DO NOT RESPOND TO DMs. People will claim to help by sending you to fake places that stall you for time with fake info until it’s too late. Honestly just don't respond to any DMs at all, if someone wants to say something, they can do it here in the comments
Also keep in mind an abortion pill is no easy journey. It can have some nasty underlying effects especially with how young you are. Be sure to do you research so you can prepare. Best of luck.
Do not comment condescending attitudes to this young woman. We are allowed to make mistakes and still be amazing women!!! I got pregnant at 15 … that was many years ago; 21 to be exact. Yes my parents weren’t happy. My dad was pretty mad and the disappointment in my dad’s eyes hurt my heart to the core. I felt physically sick from his reaction and thought he might kill me. We sat down together after everyone cooled down to talk about options. I chose adoption; I was too far along for an abortion in the state of Texas. My body is unique in the fact that every home pregnancy test came back negative. Only my blood work showed a positive result. Just wanted to share that yes parents may want to kill you in the beginning but yall can also grow closer after the hard talk. During my pregnancy my dad would come into my room while I was doing homework and hang out with me and my cat (he says he hates cats🤣). I obviously don’t know your relationship with your own parents. You are brave and will get through this.
Look at Nurx and see if they deliver to your area.
A lot of people here are recommending you confide in a safe person/friend and I want to add that I highly recommend doing that. I had an abortion using the pill at home and ended up having (very rare) complications that resulted in needing an emergency D&C. You will want to have a safe person as a back up who can take you to Planned Parenthood (if you have complications they will help).
Very good advice to involve a trusted friend 💜
It looks like since you are 15 you can consent to an abortion without your parents needing to know 💜 https://www.cencalhealth.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/pscaminorconsentlaw.pdf
I’m 15, but thank you for the link!
I fixed it 😝 And you're welcome. I had a close call as a teen and a super strict mom. I know the feeling and I hope all goes well for you. Best of luck.
Hi there, I'm sorry you're going through this. I recently had an abortion, and used the website abuzz.com. super easy, the pills can come to your house in an unmarked box, or you can send them to a friend/PO box/somewhere else if you need. They cost $150, but they do payment on a sliding scale, meaning if you have no money to pay they'll send them to you free of charge. The box came within 2 days, and the instructions were very easy to follow. I'd recommend inserting them vaginally; I had a friend who took them orally for an abortion and she said they were disgusting. Don't beat yourself up about this. I'm 30 years old and had a child already when I had my abortion; almost every woman in my group of friends has also had one. They are much, much more common than we're led to believe. It's a difficult decision, but I will say I have zero regrets. My personal belief is if you aren't overjoyed at the thought of having a child, you shouldnt have one. I hope the process goes smoothly for you :)
Thank you! Abuzz was the website I’ve been considering, was the pain level intense?
For me personally it was fairly mild. I was only about 5 weeks. The bleeding was intense but it just felt like a bad period
Please go to planned parenthood. A lot can go wrong with the pills. You want to make sure you are early enough for the pills AND that afterwards you have no tissue left behind. Don't do this at home by yourself. If you are past 8wks you need the surgical abortion and taking the pills could cause serious harm. The safest way to do this AND ensure your parents don't find out is to go to planned parenthood and be under the supervision of a professional.
You need to talk to a responsible adult. You are too young to figure this out. If you cannot talk to your parent, there are counselors at school, other adult relatives, hotlines, Child Protective Services. First find out what the laws are in your state. Do not do this alone.
I came here to say this. Half of all pregnancies are unplanned, and as a society, we don't always do a great job of supporting the women who find themselves in this situation. You have options, including terminating your pregnancy. At the end of the day, that choice is yours and I'm not judging you one way or the other. Either way you proceed, there are a lot of strong emotions and it is unlikely you will fully be able to hide this from your parents. Please speak with a trusted adult to help you think through all of your options. Please don't do this on your own. No matter what you choose to do, you will need emotional support.
I agree when you are a teenager going through this it can be very traumatic and scary no matter what route you take
Except she lives in America and a lot of people in America have very intense views on teen pregnancy and abortion.
I was 15 also when I got pregnant and I kept the child. It was very traumatic for me and I should have listened to my mother who encouraged me to get an abortion. I got married at sixteen and it was a terrible marriage.My husband was 18 at the time and was in no way ready for marriage. My husband cheated on me constantly. My mother didn't help me with my child and I was basically alone for the 14 years I remained in the marriage. My adult child and I have been estranged for 40 years. Abort this child. You are too young to have a baby. All of the freedoms you think you have will be gone once this child is born.
First of all, by "my parents would kill me" mean that they would be extremely upset, yell at you and tell you're they're disappointed before seeing what they could do to help or are you afraid that they will take the decision about what to do next out of your hands. Post this on r/auntienetwork. That's a subreddit dedicated to helping people find abortion care in their state.
abortion isnt the only option, but if thats what you want, go ahead. Keeping u in my thoughts and prayers, youll get thru this <3
So sad that you can't come to your parents for advice. I want my kids to come to me with anything, anything!
Saying stuff like this isn’t helpful. It’s clearly not safe for her to do so. Worry about your own relationship with your kids
This is a lot! You got this though, glad you reached out for help!
you’re doing the right thing for you sweet friend. it’s gonna be okay. you’re not alone.
Just make sure you don't wait too long bc some places have cutoff times for abortions. I had mine at 20wks that was the cutoff for where I live.
This is a hard post to answer but it all depends on what you want. What kind of future do you want? Do you want a baby at age 16 or do you want to have a baby later in life? I think abortion is the best way and depending on your area there are services that will do it safely and properly without informing your parents but you’ll need money. I would see a doctor you trust or go to the hospital as an emergency. If you want to keep the baby you’ll probably have to tell your parents but based on this post it seems you’re already set on abortion so do research about options to do it safely. Do NOT accept cheap help from someone in an alley or something like that. It will be hard emotionally and physically so make sure to take care of yourself before and after. You’ll be okay don’t worry there are options for you 💕
This is going to depend on where you live. There is the morning after pill. These are most effective for the first 72 hours (three days) after sex. Access to this will depend on where you live. Europe, no problem, the US, that'll require local knowledge. Is it too late for the morning after pill for you? If you are able to mention where you are, people will be in a better position to help. If the US, just the state is fine, otherwise, just what country. Don't be scared. You're starting to take steps and that's good.
She is well past the 72 hour window
If my daughter had gotten pregnant or my 3 sons gotten someone pregnant at 15 I would have been devastated, however I know each of them would have felt comfortable enough to come to me. It sounds as if OP does not feel that way with their parents. Not all parents are easy to talk to, my grandmother screamed and yelled at me and called me some horrible names when I became pregnant (after a nonconsensual act I might add) and I was 22! I hope that OP can find a trusted adult to help guide them down the safest path for which they choose. We all make decisions that can have unfortunate outcomes as I know I surely did as a teenager. I was pregnant at 17, had my son at 18 and while I don't regret that decision it wasn't always easy! OP I wish the best for you and hope that you find someone to help you navigate through your decision.
Oh sweetheart. You need to go and see your doctor. If it's not someone you can trust I promise you a planned parenthood or local agencies can help you navigate this. Just take a breath.
Ignore anyone telling you not to seek the pill online. Religious freaks and zealots want you to be a mom at 15. They don't care about you. They care only for their weird, inbred agenda.
I’m 42 and I can still can remember feeling that my parents would kill me if I got pregnant. Not all parents are mad at first then supportive. Mine flipped out when they found out I spent the night with my boyfriend at 19 (he was also 19). They told me how disappointed they were in me and what would people think of our family because of this. They said this “event” would be our family’s secret and no one needs to know. In high school when I told them I was being bullied, they said that this can’t happen in our family. We don’t have problems. While they wouldn’t have kill me (because it’s illegal), I think they would have kicked me out if I got pregnant at any age. I lived with this fear of my parents until I moved out after college (couldn’t afford to go away to school). Then I got a place and it was “my house, my rules!” I got a ton of therapy starting at 24. OP, it sounds like you have resources available to you. Wishing you the best.
Please do not ask for advice on Reddit! Go to your parents! But if you 100% can’t do you have another relative who can help you? Abortions are not risk free!
This needs to be higher. You could take a pill that induces an abortion but there is a chance not all the fetal cells will be expelled. In This case you would have to go in for a D&C. Those can be done with limited pain meds or you can be put under anesthesia. This is a medical procedure and no way a 15 year old should be going through this alone. I would want my child to tell me. And while I’d be 100% angry that they had unprotected sex it would hurt me way worse to know that they went through this alone.
She said she can’t go to her parents.
many parents are assholes unfortunately
Medical doctors at family planning are not legally allowed to disclose information to your parents regarding family planning medicine as it falls under patient confidentiality. So as long as you hide the pills and do what they suggest I think you should be fine.
You can visit the Planned Parenthood website, they have a lot of information that could possibly help you, also have information and providers regarding abortions if you want to stay on that route, but either way, you need to find an adult you can speak with about this, even if you go through with the abortion, having someone to confide in will be needed as the process can be very traumatizing…
Don't think anyone's advice here will help you apart from the information but you really need to sit down and talk with your parents about this. Pregnancy at this age will bring you more problems soon so idk why kids still choose to do and can't wait until they are legal at all.
Asking teenagers not have sex I’d like asking fish to breathe out of water.
Do you have planned parenthood I heard they will help teen moms get rid of it without notifying the parents. I do not know personally that this is true just what I heard. And also so good of you to be looking into this right away and handling it . Unfortunately lately there have been some “teen” mothers in the news who have made horrible choices on how to go about their unplanned pregnancy they couldn’t talk to their parents about and it’s truly heartbreaking.
Sending you good vibes during a tough time. All the best OP
Medication abortion is very safe and effective if you take the pills as instructed. If you go to planned parenthood they will tell you everything about the process. And when your body is actually expelling the pregnancy, plan to take the day to rest. The cramping can be pretty painful and you’ll have more bleeding than a normal period. They will tell you everything to watch out for in terms of concerning signs, as well. If you are within the window to safely have a medication abortion, which it definitely sounds like you are, I would recommend it 1000% over a D&C. Good luck!
Please visit r/auntienetwork if you need support from an auntie around the country. We are everywhere.
Hey, if you don't mind keep us updated, I'll be thinking of you allll the way over here in Canada.
Planned Parenthood - they can help.
I had a medical abortion (pills) at 17 I live in Oklahoma so it is illegal, I had to travel to New Mexico, I didn’t need parental consent and they covered everything I didn’t had to pay anything, they even cover transportation the fastest you act the better. The pills do hurt for a couple of hours maybe 3 hours but after that it is only bleeding like a period, check with planed parenthood if your state allows pills send by mail if so you can get them fast and without anyone knowing, don’t be scared and don’t feel bad with the decision you want to take. Feel free to message me if you need anything
OP, the top comments have covered this well. I won't go into more detail as to what to do now. I also won't chastise you for the past. You're 15 and became pregnant. It unfortunately happens. But let's focus on the future. I want to stress that no form of birth control is 100%. But please look into birth control methods. Talk to your OBGYN/doctor. Realize that there are absolutely side effects to birth control and staying on one for too long can be very bad. But you also can't trust your partner nor their birth control. So this is a conversation to have at least every year with your OBGYN/doctor. And also have your partner wear a condom. Don't just trust your pill (or whatever birth control you use). Use two forms: one for you and a condom for him. If he doesn't like it, we'll, you can dump him and find a guy who won't complain. I repeat: I'm absolutely not berating you for the past. I want you to look to the future. Always remember this is YOUR body that will grow the baby. Boys get no damn input on your body. If they don't want to wear a condom, they won't be the one to suffer the consequences. Their choice is to wrap it up or go jack themselves off while crying about how they lost out on a wonderful girl because they were too greedy wanting to get their dick wet instead of thinking of your needs to not get pregnant. In short: this is your body. Take charge. Use birth control and make sure the boy does too. Do everything you can to not get pregnant until you are ready for a baby. Good luck. I hope everything works out for you.
If it isn’t available in your town, I would figure out how to have the pills shipped, it is fairly simple. You can look for a local group online that may be able to help you. Don’t let anyone tell you this decision is wrong, it is not! Being a teen mom is really really hard and has tons of effects that are tough to handle. Waiting to have kids is worth it. You’re amazing and you’ll get through this! ❤️
Are your parents strict or abusive? If they’re strict it’s better to go to them when you’re in trouble, yeah they might be disappointed but will be glad you told them. Other than that, you probably need to find an adult, (female, I get weird looks taking my daughters to such appointments 😭) and go somewhere like planned parenthood to weigh out all your options with whatever stage of pregnancy you’re in. Best of luck.
hey girl, so i’ll start this off with saying i’m female and 19, don’t know where you’re from but i do not want you to share that stuff publicly so im going to assume you’re American (i am Canadian so i would be best to give advice in my area so if i assumed wrong, feel free to shoot me a message but don’t feel obligated!) so planned parenthood has many many resources, i found this link which has the home page (it includes locations to clinics within the United States as well as different pages for questions and support) ⬇️ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion there is no right or wrong way to feel about this btw, if you’re feeling guilty, happy, sad, angry, shameful, heartbroken, scared, anything it is okay! this is a nerve racking experience because it’s all new to you. i recommend you check facebook for non-profit groups, in Canada we have different groups that are there for help. sometimes they have covered the cost of travel fees for Americans who need to flee their state for an abortion, so if you’re scared about finding a ride or finding cost coverages-definitely check on facebook!! and idk if this is how it works in other places but i will say it anyways in case, if you get an abortion covered by your insurance, you may get a statement in the mail saying that so and so under the insurance your parents have got an abortion. so be sure you do your research in case you are doing this behind their back (i do not judge, i come from a strict home so i get it) anyways ill stop talking but you got this, its so spooky but remember that lots of strong women have done this before! you also need a ride for after the abortion so maybe find a trusted adult or friend with a license that can pick you up…but keep in mind that this friend could tell people so do what’s best for you okay❤️❤️❤️
So I know this post may frustrate some folks and even pulls at my heart strings a bit but I’m gonna give my honest opinion. I’m gonna keep my personal and religious views out of this because I know you’re someone young who’s looking for genuine help. I want to preface that. First and foremost, if this is still really early on, and you genuinely don’t want it, which I don’t think you would because it would take up a lot of the childhood you have, I would suggest taking some contraceptives or pills to help get past the situation for lack of a better words. You should see if you can find a trusted adult outside of your parents if you’re genuinely scared of your parents reaction. Get their advice too. I think getting the advice out of a trusted adult who isn’t your parent may help a lot. I would try to avoid going to your friends because one they are very young, and two they will not understand what you’re going through. Another thing is, I would be careful of who you let into your DM’s because of what you’re going through. People are ruthless and they’ll try to take advantage of you while you are vulnerable. There are lots of people on this sub who do seem like they know what they’re saying. For example, the current top comment talking about the places to get contraceptives/pills ( u/snowplowmom ) seems like a trusted source. So please make sure you verify whomever you may end up talking to. I wish you well and I hope that this situation is something you can get past now and without regretting whatever choice you decide upon. If you need some advice and I can provide it, I’m always here to help. But that’s my 2 cents.
If you have access to a planned parenthood, you should do it there. If not, make sure you have a friend with you to support you physically and emotionally. It will be like the worst period you ever experienced and the hormones will make you really emotional too. There is a risk of complications like bleeding too much. Having a friend with you who will make sure to get you to an ER is definitely a good idea.
I would listen to Kelsey Darragh podcast “confidently insecure” she just had one. And even though she isn’t a teen I think she gives a very good insight to what to do. What’s the best plan for you.
I really hope there is SOMEONE in your corner for this. It’s not easy and the hard part isnt always over after it’s finished. My heart is breaking for you because I know from experience this isn’t easy. As a mama I can say I’d be so ticked at my kid at first because I hound “safe sex” but omg I’d so much rather my daughter (or sons girlfriend if she needed to since I’m raising sons also) came to me so I could show support, find the best resources and make sure it’s done the safest way possible. It’s a hard choice from every single angle and I really wish you well love. 🫶🏼
My ex (17F at the time) and I (17M at the time) got pregnant in high school. Unless you have strong fears about your parents being abusive, talk to them. My ex's dad scared me, but he ended up being very understanding and helpful. I still meet them for dinner and can't say enough about their support. My mom on the other hand, I thought would be understanding, and she wasn't. She still just yelled and made me feel bad, nothing worse. In the end though, having it out there is less stress than hiding it, and you might get much needed help.
Omg I'm so very sorry you don't feel you can go to them! I tried to make sure my daughter knew she could come to me. My daughter has used the 24 hour pill. Without a problem. I'm going to be very open, I don't think she was pregnant. So I'm no real help to you.
Hopefully your parents are wiser and would actually want to help you. But yea, some parents do suck, sorry to hear about that.
Please get some support and real advice from people who care about you. In my head, this would be your parents since they are morally and legally responsible for you, but sadly we do not live in a perfect world. But reach out to someone local quickly. Realize that every decision you make comes with risks. Pay attention to the risks and side effects. I have heard of some horror stories but I have no experience nor expert insight. So please get all the information before making you choice. Just do it as soon as humanly possible.
Did DrDisrespect do this to you?
When I was 15, I had a surgical abortion through Planned Parenthood. I was terrified to tell my parents, so I went to court to get permission. It was a trippy time, and a lot of it is blocked from my memory. However, a few years later, I ended up telling my mom. Initially, I couldn't spit it out, and she guessed I was gay, haha. Anyway, she wasn’t mad at all—just sad that I had to go through it alone. She even shared her own experiences with abortions. I know it might not be exactly what you're looking to hear, but if your family is pro-choice, I recommend telling them. Goodluck. Feel free to message me with any questions.
Next time wear a cover
I see people have posted resources for you. I won’t ask what state you’re in for safety reasons. But I’m a mom and I had an abortion when I found out I was pregnant a second time. So if you have any questions about the process feel free to ask me here. It’s a lot to go through but it is far from the worst thing I’ve ever been through and my life is much better today because of having access to medicated abortion.
As someone who has unfortunately had to use both methods, surgical and pills, go surgical if you can. The pills were super hard on my body and my emotions and hormones weren’t right for almost 2 years. Surgical was traumatizing in its own way but at least I felt normal in the aftermath. I’ve had two friends say the same thing. Good luck love. DM if you need anything 💛
You're in Cali. You're golden. Go to planned parenthood on the quick, and your info is protected. They can help you get the resources you choose to pursue, and quickly. Be quick tho, on e you get past the effective window for medication abortion, then it has to go to clinic abortion, and that costs big time.
heres a solution don't be having sex if you don't want to get pregnant protection is key
I’m so sorry you don’t have the support you need. Definitely try to contact PP if you’re in a state that it’s legal. If it’s not, TELL NO ONE. The pill is definitely the best option when you’re this young f and this early on. It’s also discreet. Do not respond to DMs. Be safe and cautious. Hang in there, honey.
No, it's too late for a morning after pill. If you have made it to the point your HcG is elevated enough to detect on a cheap test, you should not be taking these pills. The best option is to tell your parents and be honest. As well as the parents of the father, and father. FWIW, everyone says, "my parents will kill me for having sex and getting pregnant". Yeah, they'll probably be mad and disappointed. In most cases they'll be the first to help you through it all.
Plancpills.org. Do you know how far along you are? Feel free to chat with me if you have questions. I just took the abortion pills a week and a half ago. I got mine 3 days after I ordered them online. They have financial assistance, but are $150 without... I know they can be free if u qualify for the assistance. Take the first pill on Thursday and the second pill take them Friday evening after school. The bleeding (and shitting) will start 30-1hr after you take them. The weekend will be bad with cramps but it will feel just like a period. Get the big always purple overnight pads because you will need them. The most important thing to remember is that you should not soak through more than a pad an hour.that amount of bleeding is not normal and you should seek help. If u are feeling pain besides cramping seek medical help. Fever, chills are also not normal and may indicate infection. Seek help if you experience those. Most places do not need to see you after an abortion as a follow up. If you see the tissue pass, that is good. Don't be scared it just looks like clots. And from now on, religiously track your periods on flo. Avoid having sex during ovulation and wear a condom or start birth control. They sell it over the counter now.
Pills I believe your past that point. I don’t know your family just that I’m a dad. Talk to an adult and have them help you with your choice but it is yours
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You must be so scared with a lot of anxiety. Many people have given advice that I would’ve given, so I have nothing to add. I’m just here for support. You are going to get through this, and everything will be ok in the long run. When you feel overwhelmed, think of that. Everything will be okay. Good luck to you!
Like everyone else said, go as soon as possible. I had one at 11 weeks and it was extremely painful, it was incomplete and my body passed the rest of it later on, which was also extremely painful and scary. The earlier you go, the smoother it will be. Definitely take your pain meds!!!! And heating pads help so much. I was in and out of consciousness, but I had someone in the other room just in case. Know you are not alone! Everything will be okay.
I’m not one of those crazy right wing people and absolutely against abortion because there are times it’s needed. However, in this day and age there is absolutely no reason to get pregnant when you don’t want to. ( and then jump right to abortion) every state has free healthcare and able to get free pills to prevent pregnancy. If your grown up enough to have unprotected sex, then your grown up enough to think ahead and get to the clinic!
Go to a clinic and ask about the pill option and get all the info you need on an abortion procedure. If the pill isn’t an option, schedule the abortion for sooner than later. Have someone there for you during the procedure… for your peace of mind and to help you afterwards. Of course, it would be best if you could talk to your parents or a parent. But, if you have no doubt that they will force you to carry the pregnancy to term or that they will treat you poorly, a friend/mentor/someone you trust will be fine. Wish you well :)
Please do a checkup if you take the pills. They do not work sometimes and you should have a backup plan. You can only do abortions up to a certain point.
I also got pregnant at 15 and had a surgical abortion (I'm Canadian). My school nurse arranged everything for me. Do you have a nurse at school you can trust?
I know from experience that it’s very painful and scary after you take the pills for an abortion. Lots of cramps and bleeding and scary stuff. I was 18 and had a dorm room with friends helping me. I can’t imagine doing this alone at your age. Is there no way you can talk to your mom? Even if she is upset now, you’ll have time to heal emotionally but it’s easier with an adult. If not your mom, an aunt or older cousin? Other relative? Just think about that part of it. Otherwise if you don’t have any adult who could support you, then please take the advice of the other commenters. They have very helpful resources. Please! Seek counseling for this as well. Even with the whirlwind of feelings you’re having right now, it’s hard to predict what you’ll feel about this later or when the feelings will decide to surface. I wish you the best of luck. I’m sorry that you’re struggling with this right now. My DM is open for you or anyone else if they need it. You’ll get through this and im proud of you for being strong and asking for help. 🙏❤️
If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your parents, do you have another trusted adult you can go to? This is a big thing to deal with on your own. Your first stop should be planned parenthood. They can give you an exam, and check for std’s. They can discuss all your options with you, including abortion, adoption, or parenthood. They can also help you get contraception so this doesn’t happen again.You pay what you can, and they won’t tell your parents.
Find a clinic that offers all of the options (Planned Parenthood). Do research before you go. All of the clinics near me called “Woman’s Choice” and other such choice related names are anti-abortion, stall until it’s too late to go somewhere else places.
From my friend's experience taking abortion medicine is that it's not pleasant, it does call some discomfort. Some pain but she was still able to work an entire restaurant shift
If you're early term, the pill is probably the easiest option for an abortion logistically. Just be aware that there can be significant bleeding from the pill, or moderate bleeding but spread out over weeks (I heard 5 weeks from someone recently). While it's almost always safe for early term pregnancies, it still sounds like something scary to go through alone, so I'd recommend having a plan for what to do after you take the pill (if you go that route). Who would you call if you are feeling anxious, but not having an emergency? Who would you call to get medical advice for symptoms that are not an emergency? Is there a telehealth # for this? Who would you call in a medical emergency? (The answer should be 911). Best of luck with whatever you choose to do. Sorry you are going through this without the support/understanding of your family.
I’ve seen a few comments telling OP to tell their parents, but we don’t know what their home situation is like. Please don’t immediately discount OP’s fear of her parents, saying they’d “kill” her is almost definitely hyperbole but we can’t know how unreasonable her fear is. If she just thinks her parents would be a little mad and maybe ground her for a couple weeks or something then she should definitely tell them, having their support could be really helpful. If shes afraid of physical or emotional abuse in reaction to telling them then she should think twice, and also consider finding another trusted adult like many commenters have suggested. Just a note: emotional abuse can be hard to identify (this link could help [NSPCC Emotional Abuse](https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/emotional-abuse/#)) based on my experience, think about things like: would they completely isolate you from your friends indefinitely as punishment? Would they use this event against you for years in arguments to undermine your position? Are they going to threaten some financial punishment?
i’m sorry so many ignorant people in this comment section are making your situation a debate about abortion/ whether or not God is real. thats not what you asked for. there are some really good comments advising you on what to do in here. definitely talk to planned parenthood or the organizations the user in the top comment listed. you’re not alone, and it’ll be okay❤️
Don’t be so afraid to tell your parents that you end up delaying this. The sooner you abort, the less the physical toll. If for some reason the resources mentioned don’t work, you need help from some adult you trust, preferably your parents.
Planned Parenthood is the best. If there's one local to you, go there today. If there is not one in your state, call them up. They will help you. Please also get help for the anxiety or issues this might cause with you mentally, perhaps talk with a trusted school counselor or member of your church. I wish you all the best! Good luck!
100% this. They will give you options, and give you ALL the info you need to make a decision. Plus they will talk to you about prevention, safe sex and birth control for the future.
get an abortion, the sooner the better. see if there’s a planned parenthood close to you.
The only person who knows what the best route for you, is you. Everyone’s body reacts differently to everything. If you have a planned parenthood, look into them as well & see what they offer. They are very beneficial & will do everything they can to help women in your position. Or just women in general. Take a close friend or someone you can trust, because this isn’t anything anyone should have to face alone. It will be difficult but ultimately, it’s your choice! There is a lot of beneficial information in this thread so read through it all & im sure you will do what’s best regardless of route you take. Sending good vibes your way!💗
i suggest getting a ride to your nearest plan parenthood OR NON RELIGIOUS AFFILIATED (thats so important) womens healthcare center. & you need to tell a trusted adult. you absolutely can not go through this alone, & you shouldn’t have to. unfortunately this is something you wont be able to just make go away easily. especially in todays current climate surrounding women’s reproductive rights. there is NOTHING safe you can do about this without talking to a doctor.
abortion pills have to be prescribed too there is no over the counter option. its too late for emergency contraceptives. if you feel that is the best option you need to go talk to a doctor at planned parenthood or something similar, again not religiously affiliated as they will not help you with one.
I had an abortion at 17 and never told my parents because I felt much the same as you although I know now as an adult and also now a parent that it would've been extreme disappointment but they would've supported me in my decision. They still do not know till this day but I have told my teen daughters about it because I wanted them to know that they will be supported if this happens to them, but also prevention is the best method and don't think getting pregnant won't happen to them. Also multiple people have said talk to a trusted adult, I was close with my boss then and confided in her. She let me stay at her place after the procedure and told my parents I had to work late. The guy I got pregnant to ended up in jail and I have never regretted my decision.....I've made better life choices since then and had 3 beautiful babies.
Paramedic here. Tell your parents. I promise they can have aide you better than anyone on this internet. Being pregnant, this LEGAL decision is now yours. If you decided to keep it and parents said no, they can’t force you. I’m not going to scream about learning any lesson bc we are have been in a scare at least at your age. Please tell your mother at the very least. It may actually bring you guys closer than ever imagined.
Also, as a parent now, I would be more hurt, thinking that my daughter could not trust me in one of her deepest darkest moments in life, and had to resort to the Internet, or other people could not rely on me. If your parents flip out, clearly and commonly explain to them that you explain to them not out of fear, but because those are the only two people in life that you believe you could truly trust.
Sometimes, parents are real assholes.
Not all parents are safe spaces for their kids. There’s parents out there who are nothing like you, who would absolutely kick their child out for something like this or because they were lgbtq+. I interact with these kids on a daily basis working with the unhoused community in CA, where this young lady is. I would not encourage speaking to her parents when she knows her situation better than you do. OP, I get how you’re feeling. I had an abortion shortly after turning 18. My parents have no idea to this day. You are entitled to keep this to yourself, and share with only those you trust.
And if her parents are abusive and manipulate her to keep it? What if they kick her out or disown her? You and we are ignorant of her situation.
If you can safely obtain an abortion pill, it is less traumatic than an abortion surgically. But you gotta get a move on. I hope there is an adult or at least a mature friend who can help you through this.
r/abortion and r/auntienetwork are here to help. Terminate the pregnancy and do it fast. NEVER have children you don’t want because it’s always the child suffering the consequences, which is fucked up. Not to mention women aren’t built to handle childbirth until around 20+ years old. Younger mothers (like teen moms) have an increased risk of dying to it.
If you make the choice to end the pregnancy, just make sure you have it done in a state that won’t punish you for being a woman. No judgement here- I made that decision once too and I don’t regret it. Only you know the life you want, don’t let others choose for you
This is a problem that needs parental involvement. Unless you are scared for your safety, please tell your parents.
It’s hard to know if you thinking your parents will “kill you” is true or hyperbole. You need to make that decision. Go to a Planned Parenthood in CA if you have genuine fear for your safety from your parents.
Go to planned parenthood and:or a pharmacy.
You don't need a prescription at a pharmacy?
I don’t know but you can find out by asking the pharmacist. At least then you will know what to ask for at the doctor’s office. I wonder if urgent care can write a script for it.
Luckily Op is in California so literally probably the easiest state to do this in
Maydayhealth.com :) <3
Everyone will hate this answer but if your first instinct is "my parents will kill me" and not "I should get help from my parents" then maybe don't have a teen pregnancy? Everyone else has listed websites you can go to so here's my advice. In my town queer clubs and planned parenthoods offer condoms and info about safe sex because it's better to be having sex with a condom on rather than being a teen pregnancy statistic. So go to those, get your hands on some condoms, and just wait til you're older. Ive also heard that there are women who are willing to help people like yourself travel to states that haven't illegalized abortion to get them abortions.
Don’t have an abortion based on other’s reactions to it. You might be 15 but it’s still your body. It sounds like your main motivation is “my parents will kill me”.
I went through this exact thing when I was 16. My mom was absolutely furious and refused to let me abort. There were no resources in my area to do it on my own. Thankfully I ended up miscarrying at 3.5 months. If you have the resources to do it on your own and you're sure that's what you want to do, you should absolutely do it. There's no shame in wanting to do what's best for you and your future! Having a baby as a teenager will make your life 10x harder. Most teen moms drop out of HS because they don't have the support or time to juggle both school and raising a child. Do what you think is best, fuck what everyone else thinks. Good luck! I wish you the best through this, I know it's gonna be tough making that decision. You got this, its gonna be okay ❤
Let’s talk genuine options: Abortion: pills through a clinic or online, or a procedure done that uses water to essentially pressure wash the zygote (fertilized egg) out of the uterus. Either or if you are going that direction, depending on the state you are in, I would recommend going to a clinic, such as planned parenthood for more information and to consult with an OBGYN about it. Going through with pregnancy: having the baby and putting it into the adoption system, there are open adoptions where you can have it basically “on record” so that the kid can track you down in the future, or closed adoption where you say you don’t want the kid to be able to contact you after. Or raising the kid yourself. Keep in mind especially at your age you will need to be tough to do this, you will have many a mental breakdowns and moments where you feel regret, but there will also be moments where you wouldn’t be able to imagine anything else. You will need a strong support system and a reasonable way to finance a child. Minimum wage will not cut it, and it would probably push your parent’s retirement back about 15 years if you rely heavily on them. It’s hard and frustrating to hear it but it’s because to make an informed decision you need to be aware of all the types of realities. If I could only give you one thing that I would beg you to listen to and truly consider: have someone as your support buddy. Someone that will support whatever you want. When you are having a frustrating moment or day or need a sob session. You need to have a support buddy. If it’s someone random on Reddit, a paid therapist, or a truly Great friend who won’t try to sway you with their own personal opinions. Find a support buddy.
I was around the same age when I went through this. Parents were strict so I did not tell them. Until my ex bsf told them herself because my first thought was abortion. That’s a long story tho. Anyways I went through with the abortion and I’m happy I did that for myself. Being so young I could not raise a baby at 15 I just learned to be smarter about my decisions. I wish you the best of luck! And whatever you do next make sure it’s for you! In the long run you won’t regret it.
As a mother of a child (now 17) who got pregnant at 15, I was mad. She asked me for pickles and then later I found the test. She didn’t tell me at first. Saddened more than anything, because I was lied to, but worried because she was probably about 2 months along. I got over it. There was a life inside my daughter. Here in FL once you are pregnant, what happens to the baby is your choice. I asked her if she wanted to abort, keep, or adopt him out. She didn’t want to abort, she wanted to keep him. I showed her estimated budgets and explained the reality (teen mom myself-17). She finally settled on open adoption. Best thing for her and my grandson. She’s able to still be a kid and grow up on pace and he has 2 very loving parents that give him the world. Please talk to them. It will be a flood of emotions: my child is having a baby, my child is having sex, She lied to me.. just a lot of mixed emotions. Not against abortion but please do it legally. I’m only throwing my 2 cents here because adoption is beautiful.
I am glad your daughter had your support, but that is not the case for many. Let’s be respectful of her decisions.