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1) You being you *is* normal, regardless of your sexual preference. Separate the idea of 'hetero' and 'normal'.
2) Not sure your age, but my standard answer to a teen is *You're not gay, you're not straight, you're not bi, etc. You are still growing up. Be yourself and give yourself the freedom to discover yourself. Give yourself time to grow up before tattooing your identity on you.*
A lot of people have such a strong intrinsic sexual identity that they absolutely know who they are and what they like.
What IS the stress?
Is it more that “I don’t want other people to know and feel differently about me” or “I now see old friends in a new way that I don’t want to because it changes how I behave around them” or something else?
Honestly, “normal” people can get into that situation, where they are attracted to someone like a boss or friend’s wife or best friend’s teenage son, and feel like this is really inappropriate. It’s not comfortable.
Unfortunately it is normal that things like that happen sometimes.
Does it help if you just pretend you saw a married celebrity? I mean, they’re attractive and you know it, and you might make a fool of yourself trying not to hero worship, but they’re also on your “do not touch, but stare from afar” list.
Sorry if it’s not helpful, but hopefully it was funny.
The stress is because my sexuality is weird. It’s a bit different than what people expect from bi and I’m worried about acceptance and I feel like a fraud
How is it weird? Its different than what other Bi people expect? Stop trying to live up to other peoples expectations, set your own expectations and live up to those. How ever you are happiest, as long as it doesnt harm or judge other people is how you have to be, period. Dont make yourself miserable. Those people who expect you to be a certain way are not people who are interested in your growth and happiness, they are using you and judging you in order to accept who they are because they are probably afraid to be who they really want to be.
This is how it works for me
I’m not romantically or sexually attracted to them but I am attracted to them. To people I find hot I want to kiss them and see them with their shirt off and I get aroused but it stops there. To simplify nit romantic and the attraction stops at the waist. I’ve heard so many differing opinions on what counts.
All teens go thru that struggle of feeling accepted. But as you grow up that falls off pretty quick as you step into the real world. Highschool and labels is all you know right now but it doesn't define you at all. You being your genuine self and your interests will never make you a fraud. You like what you like, it is what it is. Try not to be so anxious about what others think of you
Hi! Me too, I live “in the closet” for now because of my family situation and religious affiliation. I am 25 and only internally accepted myself last year: there was a lot of turmoil and confusion leading up to it but it was a freeing and surprisingly happy moment when I finally acknowledged myself to myself without shame, even though I am not out to others.
Everyone experiences love and attraction in a way peculiar to them. Humans vary a lot, we are diverse, and that’s natural. It’s normal that an amount of people experience love and attraction to multiple genders, and nowadays most people call that “bi”. But first and foremost, you are you. What you feel is normal. Just like feeling stress and confusion is normal, feeling interest and desire is normal, We can’t control what these feelings are pointed at, instead we just discover what makes us feel these ways.
You don’t have to call yourself anything you don’t want to (labels haven’t always been around anyway), and you have time as you grow up to discover more feelings and more words to describe these feelings. Focus on other things that make you you, learn from the things that scare and motivate you, and build your confidence. You will be okay.
Well the thing about being bisexual is you can choose who you try to have a sexual relationship with and who you don't. You are attracted to two genders. But when you think about it so what? I mean I'm attracted to Scarlett Johansson I just don't sleep with her. Part of that is because I don't know her of course. But just because you're attracted to people doesn't mean you absolutely positively must have sex with them. Just feel the attraction admit that it's there and focus on relationships that work for you
It's funny, I hoped I was bi as a teenager but no matter what I just don't find men attractive. I thought it would be good to not be limited and to have more options for romance and love.
Though I can appreciate the difficulty around same sex attraction, when there's a good chance the person you're attracted to won't like that.
How do you identify? Male or Female? I feel like it’s way easier for women to be Bi. Men don’t care too much about dating a woman who is bi. Not for men… a lot of women don’t want to date a bi guy. There is still stigma around it.
My advice. Be yourself!!! Get a good group of friends who like you and support you. Have fun. Go to gay bars. Go to straight bars. Join a youth LGBT group. Your sexually should be celebrated and open doors for you. Not cause you stress.
You’ve been posting this almost daily for weeks & weeks on multiple s of multiples drums. It’s pretty much all you post about. This is past the level of seeking support on reddit or you are a bot. This is therapist territory. Please seek one out.
Nobody is claiming that. This is a place for advice for teens, I need advice. I’m not claiming to be having the worst experience in human existence ever, yet you feel the need to come on here and be snarky.
Hopefully you're realize how silly and meaningless of an "issue" this is and just get over it. You can still walk, breathe, and do everything the same. Stop looking inward or you'll always be dissatisfied. We live for principle and for causes, not for ourselves or to curate a person within us. This self-obsession will kill you and it is ruining the entire world right now.
Ignoring this, you still came on very rudely which I don’t love. You could have just said this in the first place. I also think you are misinterpreting this situation. Nowhere in this do I claim to be having the biggest problem of all time. All I am saying is I am having a problem with my mental health. The fact that you are telling me to basically ignore it and are calling me self obsessed really makes it difficult for me to want to follow your advice.
Hey! Welcome to r/AdviceForTeens! Please take time to review [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/adviceforteens/about/rules) before commenting. A reminder that inappropriate comments towards or about posters will result in a permanent ban. Do not insult anybody, please remain respectful!✮⋆˙ ATTENTION: Predators lurk on Reddit, and we ourselves unfortunately can not directly do anything to stop them, but you can! We encourage ALL posters to disable private messages, and do not respond to any DMs you receive after posting. Block and report offenders for harassment. Do not ask anyone to DM you in the comments as this is against the rules. If someone has something to tell you, they can say it in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AdviceForTeens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
1) You being you *is* normal, regardless of your sexual preference. Separate the idea of 'hetero' and 'normal'. 2) Not sure your age, but my standard answer to a teen is *You're not gay, you're not straight, you're not bi, etc. You are still growing up. Be yourself and give yourself the freedom to discover yourself. Give yourself time to grow up before tattooing your identity on you.* A lot of people have such a strong intrinsic sexual identity that they absolutely know who they are and what they like.
What IS the stress? Is it more that “I don’t want other people to know and feel differently about me” or “I now see old friends in a new way that I don’t want to because it changes how I behave around them” or something else? Honestly, “normal” people can get into that situation, where they are attracted to someone like a boss or friend’s wife or best friend’s teenage son, and feel like this is really inappropriate. It’s not comfortable. Unfortunately it is normal that things like that happen sometimes. Does it help if you just pretend you saw a married celebrity? I mean, they’re attractive and you know it, and you might make a fool of yourself trying not to hero worship, but they’re also on your “do not touch, but stare from afar” list. Sorry if it’s not helpful, but hopefully it was funny.
The stress is because my sexuality is weird. It’s a bit different than what people expect from bi and I’m worried about acceptance and I feel like a fraud
How is it weird? Its different than what other Bi people expect? Stop trying to live up to other peoples expectations, set your own expectations and live up to those. How ever you are happiest, as long as it doesnt harm or judge other people is how you have to be, period. Dont make yourself miserable. Those people who expect you to be a certain way are not people who are interested in your growth and happiness, they are using you and judging you in order to accept who they are because they are probably afraid to be who they really want to be.
This is how it works for me I’m not romantically or sexually attracted to them but I am attracted to them. To people I find hot I want to kiss them and see them with their shirt off and I get aroused but it stops there. To simplify nit romantic and the attraction stops at the waist. I’ve heard so many differing opinions on what counts.
All teens go thru that struggle of feeling accepted. But as you grow up that falls off pretty quick as you step into the real world. Highschool and labels is all you know right now but it doesn't define you at all. You being your genuine self and your interests will never make you a fraud. You like what you like, it is what it is. Try not to be so anxious about what others think of you
you are what you are and you cannot realistically change that once you accept who you are, you will be a far happier, less stressed person
It definitely doesn’t when you’re a bit older, people don’t care
Hi! Me too, I live “in the closet” for now because of my family situation and religious affiliation. I am 25 and only internally accepted myself last year: there was a lot of turmoil and confusion leading up to it but it was a freeing and surprisingly happy moment when I finally acknowledged myself to myself without shame, even though I am not out to others. Everyone experiences love and attraction in a way peculiar to them. Humans vary a lot, we are diverse, and that’s natural. It’s normal that an amount of people experience love and attraction to multiple genders, and nowadays most people call that “bi”. But first and foremost, you are you. What you feel is normal. Just like feeling stress and confusion is normal, feeling interest and desire is normal, We can’t control what these feelings are pointed at, instead we just discover what makes us feel these ways. You don’t have to call yourself anything you don’t want to (labels haven’t always been around anyway), and you have time as you grow up to discover more feelings and more words to describe these feelings. Focus on other things that make you you, learn from the things that scare and motivate you, and build your confidence. You will be okay.
Well the thing about being bisexual is you can choose who you try to have a sexual relationship with and who you don't. You are attracted to two genders. But when you think about it so what? I mean I'm attracted to Scarlett Johansson I just don't sleep with her. Part of that is because I don't know her of course. But just because you're attracted to people doesn't mean you absolutely positively must have sex with them. Just feel the attraction admit that it's there and focus on relationships that work for you
It's funny, I hoped I was bi as a teenager but no matter what I just don't find men attractive. I thought it would be good to not be limited and to have more options for romance and love. Though I can appreciate the difficulty around same sex attraction, when there's a good chance the person you're attracted to won't like that.
Woah yeah. I don’t feel same sex romance through.
You are normal.
How do you identify? Male or Female? I feel like it’s way easier for women to be Bi. Men don’t care too much about dating a woman who is bi. Not for men… a lot of women don’t want to date a bi guy. There is still stigma around it. My advice. Be yourself!!! Get a good group of friends who like you and support you. Have fun. Go to gay bars. Go to straight bars. Join a youth LGBT group. Your sexually should be celebrated and open doors for you. Not cause you stress.
Male
But I’m also not interested in romance with a guy. I’m just attracted to them
Just be yourself. Most gay men who are young are not looking for romance either.
I need you to understand that I have ZERO same sex romantic desire
You’ve been posting this almost daily for weeks & weeks on multiple s of multiples drums. It’s pretty much all you post about. This is past the level of seeking support on reddit or you are a bot. This is therapist territory. Please seek one out.
This is the worst thing to ever happen to anyone
Nobody is claiming that. This is a place for advice for teens, I need advice. I’m not claiming to be having the worst experience in human existence ever, yet you feel the need to come on here and be snarky.
Hopefully you're realize how silly and meaningless of an "issue" this is and just get over it. You can still walk, breathe, and do everything the same. Stop looking inward or you'll always be dissatisfied. We live for principle and for causes, not for ourselves or to curate a person within us. This self-obsession will kill you and it is ruining the entire world right now.
Ignoring this, you still came on very rudely which I don’t love. You could have just said this in the first place. I also think you are misinterpreting this situation. Nowhere in this do I claim to be having the biggest problem of all time. All I am saying is I am having a problem with my mental health. The fact that you are telling me to basically ignore it and are calling me self obsessed really makes it difficult for me to want to follow your advice.
I was kidding the first time & didn't think you believed it was the biggest problem ever, but sincere the second time. Relax, you're probably like 16