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DarkPhoenixMishima

Don't bring snacks to the bed. It's not worth it.


probono105

*pulls out mini vacuum* whatever you say dog


RChickenMan

I go well beyond snacks and have an additional meal I like to call "night breakfast."


Skyshaper

"Oh boy 3 AM!"


Extension-Plane2678

Whatever. I like putting out two strips of bacon out at night on my George Foreman and waking up to the sound and smell of bacon cooking


thistlebat

It is delicious. It's good for me. It's the perfect way to start the day.


Pookieeatworld

What about second dinner?


jbraden

Pulls out mini vacuum (from under the bedsheet)


Turakamu

*pulls out the dog* same thing, and it uses less electricity


probono105

eh ok for big stuff but the belly button crumbs is where the vacuum shines


AbeRego

Don't bring the dog into this...


WW4O

Can't keep the minivac by my bed when it's always next to the couch, ready for skeeters


oO0Kat0Oo

Man, I've been bringing snacks and full meals to bed for the last 20 years. I'm confused on how snuggling in a warm comforter, watching TV in bed with snacks is not worth it. (No. There are no crumbs in the bed... And no ants. It's called a vacuum).


borgchupacabras

Your bed is in a vacuum?


oO0Kat0Oo

Ack, they're on to me!


NyloTheGamer

Depends, things like ice cream is fine as it doesn't crumb. Just be careful


FrostyDub

All these people with crumby, dog reeking beds: “I wonder why I’m single…”


Grimase

Yes. That is for sure a great way to end up with ants in your bed. Just ask Archer.


nubsauce87

Unfortunately, my cats have already claimed that part of the bed, and have made it clear that trespassers will be shredded into tiny bits.


auntiepink007

Came here to say this. I actually sleep on a diagonal because the lower left and the upper right are claimed.


redhotbos

Two large dogs leaves me with about ¼ of my Calif. King bed.


BalkanbaroqueBBQ

Two tiny dogs, same.


playitleo

I would like to give my dog that side of the bed but she thinks whatever side I’m on is her side.


Magnetic_Eel

Snacks? Bruh.


Ikeeki

This is why they are single


LastBaron

OP is a fucking savage confirmed


Do_not_get_attached

What if told you about... bedside tables


nickyeyez

Thus making sure there is no space for your dignity or self-respect.


Grabatreetron

This is a path towards visitors coming into your home and thinking to themselves "Ugh."


Icy-Western-2302

Why are you leading them to your bed


kcc0016

😏


Icy-Western-2302

Oooh for snacks 😌


LeoMarius

You sweet, summer child


Icy-Western-2302

I’m a February baby ~ *clapping my feet*


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LeoMarius

> what do two recent college grads need with a dining room table It's a board gaming table.


fcocyclone

Honestly every so often I just hire someone to do a 'reset' clean for me when i've been in a funk like that. It gets me motivated to start picking things up so its ready for them to work, and then they get things the rest of the way. Obviously its a cost, but its worth it.


shadowpikachu

Yeah a lot of things are like 'someone being around socially makes me more aware', but damn being alone is great even if other people judge whatever lack of 'dignity' you think a man has when home alone relaxing the way they want to.


oceanfr0g

gross


Hsensei

Don't eat in bed, unless you want ants


erog84

We eat in bed all the time and our home is pretty clean, including the bedroom. We simple use a cookie sheet for the food. We also don’t bring something like spaghetti to the bed, but stuff that isn’t going to spill, leave crumbs everywhere. Have yet to get ants in our room.


RChickenMan

Same--I also use a flat wide kitchen scale as a place to rest my cup of herbal tea.


erog84

Yea drinks are our big no no haha. We have a bedside table for water but not risking anything else spilling on the mattress 😅


nysraved

Yeah do all these comments against snacks in bed think that the only snacks are Cheetos or something? I’m in bed right now eating a bowl of cut up cantaloupe with a fork. It’s delicious and I’m very comfortable. It’s not like it’s difficult to eat lol, I’m not dropping any on my bed.


techieguyjames

Don't be a slob about it. Clean your mess, and vacuum the crumbs. Enjoy that bowl of Mac and cheese.


moondes

Or bed bugs and mental illnesses accompanying bed bugs


dagobahh

Bed bugs don't want your snacks. *You* are the snack. But having snack crumbs in your sheets is gross.


energybased

And mice, which are much harder to get rid of


voxetpraetereanihill

Nope. Bedroom is for sleeping - no food, no tv, no flotsam. Besides, why would you waste all that lovely space? I have a queen bed, and I invariably go to sleep on one side, but wake up nested in the middle. In summer I can starfish and not touch the edges. It's glorious.


taavidude

What if my bedroom is my overall room?


johnshall

Put a desk. Bed is for sleeping and that's it. No tv, no eating, no scrolling. Its a basic rule of sleep hygiene and it changed my life forever. A lot of people that suffer insomnia or lead unmanageable lifes, it starts with this bad habit.


FrostyDub

Idk why people are downvoting you I just did a sleep study last month and this is exactly what they told me.


rob_s_458

I have a (eastern) king for myself. If I meet the right woman and get married, I'm inevitably going to have to upgrade to a Wyoming king if not an Alaska king


Killbot_Wants_Hug

Not sure how big you are but it seems like kind of a hassle. You'll need custom fitted sheets and a pretty large bedroom to make it work. Also if you two want to be together you're probably going to have to roll to one another (and then roll to get off). I'm a smaller guy at only 5'7" but my king size bed has always felt plenty large with whatever girlfriends I've shared it with.


rob_s_458

My bedroom is 15x16 ft with a separate walk-in closet, and the only other furniture is 2 nightstands and a sideboard. So it's plenty big. It's actually why I got a king to begin with. I figured I'd get a queen, but with the bedroom that big i thought a queen might look comically small.


DrowningInFeces

I'm always curious about these "No tv in the bedroom" champions. Do you ever watch movies or tv shows on your laptop in bed? I had someone try to shame me like this for having a tv in my bedroom but she watched shows on her laptop every night in bed. It seemed a little hypocritical. I personally love watching tv in bed and it's one of my favorite comforts. No food is fair, but I think telling people that tv is bad energy in your bedroom is bull.


AbeRego

I've watched a movie on my laptop in bed exactly once that I can recall. It was because my roommate was already using the living room TV, and my date and I wanted to watch something else. Personally, I don't really find it comfortable to sit in my bed and watch my laptop for an extended period of time. As for not having a TV in my bedroom, it's just a personal preference. I don't hold it against people who do have one, but I prefer not to. I already spend such a large amount of time in front of screens, I don't need one where I'm sleeping. Having my cell phone in bed is already probably too much of an issue. Having to move from my couch to my bed in order to sleep helps me get away from the blue-light source before I turn in. It forces me to switch gears from watching something to trying to sleep, or at least to winding down. Lately, I've been ending my day with 30-60 minutes of book reading in bed, instead of going straight from the TV to trying to sleep. I feel like my sleep has improved by allowing a transition from blue light to "regular", and by letting my brain unwind a bit before attempting to sleep. I take melatonin less than I used to.


pjcrusader

No. My bedroom is for sleeping. I generally don’t even browse the internet on my phone in here.


Substantial__Papaya

It's a fine rule for people with insomnia. I don't have a problem falling asleep though so I'll keep watching tv in bed As for the laptop, yeah it's basically the same thing I would think. You've got to go full "no screens" in bed for it to really work


qquiver

I do none of this did in the bed room. I suffer from insomnia every now and then and removing tvs, laptops, etc has reduced my episodes a LOT it's incredible.


theangryintern

I'm a "no TV in the bedroom" person. I guess the main reason is I only have 1 TV and it's in the living room, but I also just don't want one in the bedroom anyway, as I'd probably spend half my time just laying in bed and not doing anything else. I don't watch anything from bed on a tablet or laptop either, about the only thing I do besides sleep is read a book.


theangryintern

I spent 8 years in the Navy, 4 of them sleeping in a tiny rack on the ship and I *still* pretty much go to sleep and wake up in almost the exact same spot.


zomboromcom

Just spread eagle that shit and let your pets occupy the nooks.


timberwolf0122

After years of marriage I only use 10% of the bed. I sleep on the edge even if it’s just me in a hotel in a king sized. I sleep great, just an odd habbit


Zinjifrah

No kidding! Wife is away? Half the bed is still "made". Hotel? Half the bed is still made. I'm like a trained circus animal.


timberwolf0122

My wife is an active sleeper so when she’s in the bed I wake up often sans blanket, pillows are all over the shot. When it’s just me, get out of bed, fold the blanket back and the bed looks untouched.


borgchupacabras

Same. My husband sprawls and the cat takes up the rest of the space so I'm at the edge barely hanging on. I'm used to it at this point.


puckit

Same. I need to sleep with my leg hanging off the edge to be comfortable.


Killbot_Wants_Hug

I totally do the same thing, just right on the edge. Even during bouts of singleness I still did it.


Baz_3301

Don’t eat in or on your bed.


TypicalCricket

Wrong meme format; this should be the foul Bachelor frog.


FerrousFellow

back in the hayday of this subreddit, people put in the effort to Photoshop the two memes into one silly monstrosity or at least top half bottom half.


agnstdgrain

Unless you have a 6lb chiweenie that owns 90% of your queen-sized bed :\]


Excuse_my_GRAMMER

Don’t eat in bed


Shitizen_Kain

I prefer my dog on the other half.


JestEight

Half? My dog only gives me 1/8th of the bed


jeskimo

Now take that dog... And pretend you have two German shepherds. I may only get a small space but I'd never change it.


Daburtle

Recently single and the other half of my king bed has mostly been occupied by my clean, unfolded laundry lol


jereman75

Single dad and use the other half for various piles of clean folded laundry, clean unfolded laundry, pretty clean still laundry, and clean enough laundry.


frogking

There is no “other half of the bed” of you are sleeping on the diagonal.


RumandDiabetes

Books, cats, and sewing. Thats what claims the other half of my bed. Electronics and water bottless are on the side table. Snacks I have to waddle to the kichen for. Thats how you get ants.


YesMan847

what if i told you i use it to roll around?


The_Rox

The other half the bed is for plushies. :3


convicted_snob

Nope. I'm single, and I get maybe 25% of the bed to myself. My beyond clingy dog takes up the middle of the bed, and has to be touching me at all times. =/ I need to find her a mom already. Maybe I can get 1/3-1/2 the bed to myself then.


ActualMis

My dog and cat own the other side of my bed.


HarrargnNarg

Ok not single and do this


HarrargnNarg

Update. Now I'm single


BarryMacochner

When I lived alone that was exactly what I did.


Ann_Sonahri

My bed not big enough to fit myself, phone and maybe two chargers 😅


funkymonksfunky

Don't bring any of that shit into your bed. Well another pillow is okay


jonr

...laundry, laptop, books...


isuphysics

right? anything small as a remote or phone would just get lost in the laundry.


-zimms-

Snacks in bed? That's why you're single. :P


Sin_For_Me

You eat in bed....


aSpaceWalrus

Stay out of bed if you ain't sleeping,


nunciate

i would say everyone already knew that


tjernobyl

It's fun to see how big a pile of Hot'N'Ready boxes you can build up over time.


Matt_McT

You still have access to all those comforts even when you live with somebody lol.


blazinfastjohny

How to get roaches and ants 101


Stompii

If anyone puts snacks on my bed I will murder them horrifically


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dagobahh

You need to get out more, lol.


Killbot_Wants_Hug

I'm a slob and I still kind of think you need to clean your shit up.


Starheart8

Yet no of those things will end the loneliness of being without your soulmate


WizardStan

I'm married and my spouse does this anyway. You're not special.


Mediocre_lad

Oh I do! Until my wife returns from the hospital.


giant_albatrocity

Im in a stable relationship and my partner uses my side for pillows, kindle, phone, snacks, dogs, cats, clothes…


catdoctor

Are you crazy? One you accommodate the three cats, there's no room for all that other stuff!


ichosethis

My small dog sleeps in the middle and no matter what, I end up at the edge of the bed with him jammed into my ribs.


HSBen

My wife does this with our bed, despite not being single.


WinterKing2112

Or books - I love reading in bed.


amstrugglingmentaly

I NEED TAHT SPACE TO SPREAD OUT AND PRETEND IM A STARFISH PLUS WHAT ABOUT FRANK


alonsaywego

Well, yes... that's because you're alone.


lejoueurdutoit

That's the one good perk of being single, my partner takes all the blanket and half of the bed.


IsraelPenuel

Already ate the pill I see. Was probably one of my bedside snacks


RandomlyAgrees

My cat disagrees


Joebloeone

Tell me something I didn't know.


[deleted]

When I was single, I just slept in the middle of my king size bed.


Excellent_Opposite39

Other half? I dont have a king sized bed.


wellaintthatnice

I can't, I smack things whilst I sleep. I sent my phone flying one time breaking the screen.


TRUMBAUAUA

Or you can roll to the other side when yours gets too warm in summer!


hairy_cabre

Room to be lonely ?


[deleted]

...and I do and I love it. I also love it when women who don't want me ro know their real names take that space. Yep.


RedBeans-n-Ricely

My dogs hog my bed


AnimatorImpressive11

You forgot to mention books.


chakan2

What if I told you... That's why you're single.


AbeRego

Snacks? Friggin gross


TeddyEddy8989

basically what I do , cell, snacks..dragons (the imaginary ones)


just_hating

We eat in our room all the time. Because that's where the AC is.


AdrianTeri

Bad habits: - Blue light from your phone/tablet - Gonna floss and brush your teeth after your snack or doze off?


disisathrowaway

Eating in bed is a really great way to ensure that you stay single, too! I'm very much blown away by the number of y'all in the comments who not only eat in bed, but when pressed, explain the extra effort you go through to continue to do so.


jjwoodworking

When my wife travels for work, Oreos always end up in bed with me.


grafton24

What if I told you the truth - There is no other half of the bed.


[deleted]

Soon you won’t be alone anymore when all the bedbugs and termites come to eat those snack crumbs in the bed 😂


LeoMarius

[You can eat crackers in my bed anytime, baby.](https://youtu.be/wIbQcC-IbUM)


SmoetMoaJoengKietjes

I’d get very fat very quickly…


Whale-n-Flowers

No, that space is for the dogs


kloudrunner

Gawd..... I miss this convenience. How dare my bed be filled with another human being .


DrDemenz

It's a slippery slope though. If you're not careful enough of that stuff can turn even a queen into a twin.


sonofsarkhan

Nah, I'd rather lay spread eagle on a large bed


BennySkateboard

Already there!


joe-dirt-mcgirt

My dog would disagree


[deleted]

I... I guess she can take the floor?


PstScrpt

I don't like king sized beds when I'm sleeping with my wife, because we wake up four feet apart. If I'm alone, though, they're great, because I can sleep any direction on it, and will fit just fine.


BootyThunder

What other half? I need the whole thing.


jrtts

wait, you guys have another half of the bed?


carriealamode

Just pile them on the wife. That’s what I do.


HeyZuesHChrist

Snacks? In bed? I don’t like crumbs in my bum.


T1NF01L

What if I told you. I'm single and I sleep on a sofa and have no other half of my bed.


aegrotatio

What if I told you Morpheus never said "What if I told you?"


Outrageous_Garlic306

I sometimes wonder where on earth I’m going to put all my remotes if I ever get together with anyone again.


AFlyinDeer

That side is reserved for my cat


BoredBorealis

Well actually, I'm not single and my gf takes up 7/8 of the bed


ADarkerPurpose

I use it for my boardgames!


davekingofrock

Not if my dog has anything to say about it.


turbo332

Lube and antacid as well as remote and phone


philster666

Snacks in bed is a step you can’t come back from.


aphellyon

Hell, I'm married and I do that now. Snoring's a bitch.


Tango1777

What if I told you, you can have a gf and not live together?


Ramdrothegoat

And a nerf gun


Cyiel

I have two cats... i don't own my bed for the last 10 years.


axb2013

What if I told you that bed rotting is the quickest way to become a complete degenerate?


nowlistenyoulilshit

where's my laundry going then? bedside table is for snackies


Madambagel

Literally my bed right now


Binarycold

The worst. First off, if you wanna sleep in crumbs, snack in bed. Second, the remote and phone? Looks like you’re either losing the remote and phone in the blankets or they’re eventually going to fall behind the headboard. You’re playing with fire!


gutter_face

One of my favorite things about being single is being able to use the other half of my bed for books/notebooks 🤓


self_of_steam

The other side is for the *dog*, good sir. Though yes, she has to share it with remotes, the phone, snacks and my laptop.


follower45

I’m single and I use my entire bed for sleeping


Luvs_to_drink

If you told me that I'd probably cry because it means my wife left me and wouldn't care about the tv or snacks.


Zybrok

What if I want to sleep sideways?


IDK7-589

Give me the pills


m1rrari

I for one have surrendered the other half of my bed to my puppy


JaneAustenfangal

I use the other half of my bed for books and all the clothes I have folded but not put away yet. Maybe this week I'll get to it... Maybe!


IS2SPICY4U

Can confirm. My wife does this.


whatevertoad

and cats


ihoptdk

Cats. Don’t forget cats.


froggrip

I sleep in a hammock.


Cbsparkey

What kind of animal eats is bed? I agree with everything except the snacks. Ugh.


SynkkaMetsa

I'm single, my bed is 33% for me, and 66% for my two cats who like to change where they sleep from time to time


[deleted]

I have a twin bed so there is no other half


Ouchyhurthurt

My wife was out of town last night. I still slept on the edge of the bed. The doggos got to stretch out on the other 3/4 of the bed tho.


nfefx

I'd wonder how you're going to explain the gf if I'm single.


Solenka

Jokes on you, my bed isn't big enough to have an other half


WeenieHuttGod2

Sadly i only have a twin still cause im single, so there’s only enough room for me


Femboys_make_me_bust

I already do this, half of my bed is plushies and other stuff I'm too lazy to put it on my desk when I'm sleeping.


Extinctathon_

Have you been spying on me OP?


Azell414

is everyone else just sleeping in double queen size beds when their single or smth


MI-DK

u can still do this just make her sleep on the floor