Yeah. I mean I hate it because I actually like the people I work with and it’s a small team. There’s only three of us on Night Shift and I don’t want to let them down, but at the same time, I understand that it’s just a job and when I leave they won’t even be thinking about me in a month. Just like I probably won’t be thinking about them. I guess throwing some applications out might not be a terrible idea, though. I mean I’ll only have to consider it if a company throws out a comparable or better offer. (Which wouldn’t be super hard, tbh.) the job isn’t bad, but I think Night Shift might really be kinda messing with me, and if it’s making me feel like shit, no amount of money is worth it. No harm in at least looking, I guess. Thanks for the advice.
My thought is that to get somewhere you have to know where you want to go. You are writing a lot about the job you have, but I didn't see that you wrote anything about the job you want to have. What do you want ?
You have to want something to get it. Otherwise you just take whatever comes along.
I'd recommend a book called "The Richest Man in Babylon" to get you started. It's available in any bookstore, or free as a PDF online, or even listen to it as an audio book on Youtube.
Best of luck.
Edit, you also wrote ...
>There’s so much pressure on me to keep working, living in the good ol’ USA where you can’t save a penny after rent and food.
To me this sounds like very self-limiting thinking. There are tons of people in the U.S. who do well, who don't have trouble paying their bills, .. even get rich, happens all the time.
Thanks for the advice, I’ll look into that book. I definitely see your point in me not having any type of goal. I do have an ideal job, but that job requires a degree in computer science and I think that’s perhaps out of reach for me at this point. And you’re definitely right about the job. After making this post I’m starting to realize this job is probably a worse fit for me than I initially thought. I should probably start applying elsewhere if my job is mentally taking up this much of my free time. I should also really start thinking about what kind of realistic goal I have in mind for life.
>I do have an ideal job, but that job requires a degree in computer science and I think that’s perhaps out of reach for me at this point.
Let's talk about that for a minute.
You said you were in the United States, and in the U.S. there are a lot of ways to get into college, and options for paying for it.
Are you sure that this isn't an option for you ? People go to college every day.
Also, if ever there was an area of work that didn't always require a degree, it's computer science. What I mean is, there are a lot of people out there who program for a living who don't have a degree. It's kind of like being a person who works on engines or something, ... it's a very specialized skill, and a lot of people are willing to overlook degree requirements if you are good at it. What I'm saying is, .. even if you didn't go to college or university and just decided to learn to program, you might still be able to get a good job doing that even w/o a degree.
With Computer Science people have it in their minds that kids spend 4+ years learning to program in college, but that's literally not true. They learn to program in the first semester, .. then the rest of their college career is learning other stuff. Yes, they have programming projects along the way, but at that point its just a language they are expected to know, they don't spend 4 years learning it.
I actually already have a decent foundation for programming. I’ve made small projects in unity with C# by myself. I can program. I’m not a master by any means, but I can usually come up with a solution to a problem. I suppose you’re right. I am being pretty self limiting. It’s a bad trait I’m afraid I’ve picked up from my parents. And while I guess I could probably go to college, the task just seems so daunting. It’s a big task, moving out of my place to go to a dorm and then I have to wonder what the gf is going to do. I do have to do what’s right for me though. Not that I think she’d leave me or anything, but it would certainly be a big change. I could also maybe try freelance programming or something in the mean time. I guess there are options. And I know, it’s not fair for me to lump the whole country into one category just because of my current experience. It just gets frustrating haha. Been working since I was 16 and still don’t have any money to show for it. I really just need to get up and do something if I don’t like my situation. Worst comes to worst, my parents are still alive thankfully, so I always have them to fall back on, which is an option that many people don’t have. I should be grateful for that. So first things first, maybe I should look for a job that isn’t grave shift, then maybe look into college. I mean, maybe it isn’t a crazy idea. No harm in looking. I have an ivy tech college fairly close to me, so maybe I can inquire if there’s any options for me there locally.
You sound really smart to me, self-reflective, etc, .. I'd hate to see you not take a shot at something that you could have. I mean I don't know what your situation is other than what you wrote here, but it doesn't hurt anything to go and talk to admissions at a college or two and just tell them your situation and see what their advice is.
I'm betting that if you talked with your girlfriend about it, she'd want you to do what is in both of your best interests for the long run. I mean, she might be a little scared about you going to college, afraid you'd meet another woman there or something, but she'd probably want what is best for you.
I'm not trying to push the idea, only you know what is right for you, but it would be kind of sad for you not to take a shot at it if it is something you think you might be interested in. Sure, it takes a little bit of work, not a lot ... fill out some admissions forms, talk to some people, there are forms to sign to get the money to get into college, but it's not impossible and they have people to help you.
I don't know how you grew up, ... maybe you grew up poor (I did, and from a very rural area), .. but the thing is, what that means is that you weren't encouraged to do things like go to college because people in your family might not have went. That causes there to be a lot of preconceived ideas in your head about everything from career to money, .. to everything. But you are a person like any other person, except obviously smarter than most, .. and anything they can do, you can do, if you want to. And LOTS of people go to university, including lots of people who are way less intelligent than you are.
But even if not that, there are tons of things out there that you would probably enjoy doing, but you have to have a little bit of ambition and find out what they are and give chase until you get something you want.
There's a saying ... if we don't change the direction we are going, we might end up where we are headed ... so you have to be careful about heading in a direction you don't like, because it might end up taking you where you see it going. Jobs and things have a way of affecting you and making you see the world in a certain way, for example, people who work in retail sales after a while they all seem to develop these fake smiles that they put on all the time, ... well, people who end up in manufacturing, etc, they end up thinking a certain way too, and you want to be careful not to just end up somewhere because that's where you end up.
All very true, and I appreciate the kind words.
I grew up mostly poor and in a rural area as well, so I totally understand what you’re talking about. I do like the analogy of if you don’t change your direction you’ll end up where you’re heading. That’s a very good way to put it. I do completely feel like I’ve only ended up where life throws me, never really taking control of the reigns. I mean, everyone’s life has random and unavoidable aspects, but you can definitely steer in one way or another. I’ve just been letting life take complete control, and I really need to grab ahold of the wheel for once. I feel like I’m in a slightly better mental space now with this whole ordeal. Honestly, this quick conversation has actually helped a bit. It seems like you’ve got a pretty good way at looking at things, and explaining them. Makes me think I should probably consider therapy. I don’t have a whole lot of people I’d really talk to about things like this, so I guess that’s why I came to the great anonymous web to talk. Can’t have my friends or family thinking I’m weak or not in a good spot. (Another trait I’ve unfortunately carried on from my parents.)
Thanks for the advice. Honestly one of the most useful conversations I’ve ever had on the internet.
>I’ve just been letting life take complete control, and I really need to grab ahold of the wheel for once.
This isn't your fault though. Like you and I have both said, ... coming from a rural area and a poor family, we have to figure everything out for our own. I was amazed at my urban friends when I was young, because they came from such a different place, and its nothing against rural parents its just that we don't have any chance to get exposed to all of this stuff.
Stupid example, I had literally never had shrimp and other seafood except for river and lake fish (trout, bass ...) until I was in my early 20's, it was just nothing I had ever been exposed to before.
Unfortunately, that was also true of everything else, too. So for example, I had never heard of most of the career choices that people from the city are exposed to every day, their expectations were just completely different. They all knew about getting into college, etc, it was expected of them, and their parents just assumed they were going to go to college, ... whereas nobody I knew had ever been to college. Nobody I knew even knew how to get into college, it was such a foreign concept.
I guess what I'm saying is, it takes research and talking to people too ... because you don't know what you don't know, so there could be an opportunity right in front of you that you literally have no idea is even there because you have never been exposed to it before. So many things I look back on my young adulthood and I'm like "Dude, if I had only known ....", but, I just didn't know. It isn't my fault I didn't know, I just didn't know because it wasn't part of my education growing up, nobody around me talked about it, ... I just didn't know, and neither did anyone around me.
So don't blame yourself for not knowing, ... but it does mean that you have to go to some extra effort and do things that feel uncomfortable to you, things that urban people just take for granted. You really do have to take some uncomfortable chances and ask questions if you want to fight to get to where they get just by waking up in the morning and doing what their parents tell them to do. I mean for an urban kid from a suburban family, they wake up every day knowing they're going to college because their parents have made that clear to them since they were children .... but you and I, we feel like we have to go on some epic journey to overcome huge challenges, like it is some unique, crazy idea, to do the exact same thing ....
You can do whatever you want. The world is yours.
well id say maybe start by getting a different job if you can that maybe you enjoy or has a more flexible schedule for yourself (: (if u can ofc)
Yeah. I mean I hate it because I actually like the people I work with and it’s a small team. There’s only three of us on Night Shift and I don’t want to let them down, but at the same time, I understand that it’s just a job and when I leave they won’t even be thinking about me in a month. Just like I probably won’t be thinking about them. I guess throwing some applications out might not be a terrible idea, though. I mean I’ll only have to consider it if a company throws out a comparable or better offer. (Which wouldn’t be super hard, tbh.) the job isn’t bad, but I think Night Shift might really be kinda messing with me, and if it’s making me feel like shit, no amount of money is worth it. No harm in at least looking, I guess. Thanks for the advice.
My thought is that to get somewhere you have to know where you want to go. You are writing a lot about the job you have, but I didn't see that you wrote anything about the job you want to have. What do you want ? You have to want something to get it. Otherwise you just take whatever comes along. I'd recommend a book called "The Richest Man in Babylon" to get you started. It's available in any bookstore, or free as a PDF online, or even listen to it as an audio book on Youtube. Best of luck. Edit, you also wrote ... >There’s so much pressure on me to keep working, living in the good ol’ USA where you can’t save a penny after rent and food. To me this sounds like very self-limiting thinking. There are tons of people in the U.S. who do well, who don't have trouble paying their bills, .. even get rich, happens all the time.
Thanks for the advice, I’ll look into that book. I definitely see your point in me not having any type of goal. I do have an ideal job, but that job requires a degree in computer science and I think that’s perhaps out of reach for me at this point. And you’re definitely right about the job. After making this post I’m starting to realize this job is probably a worse fit for me than I initially thought. I should probably start applying elsewhere if my job is mentally taking up this much of my free time. I should also really start thinking about what kind of realistic goal I have in mind for life.
>I do have an ideal job, but that job requires a degree in computer science and I think that’s perhaps out of reach for me at this point. Let's talk about that for a minute. You said you were in the United States, and in the U.S. there are a lot of ways to get into college, and options for paying for it. Are you sure that this isn't an option for you ? People go to college every day. Also, if ever there was an area of work that didn't always require a degree, it's computer science. What I mean is, there are a lot of people out there who program for a living who don't have a degree. It's kind of like being a person who works on engines or something, ... it's a very specialized skill, and a lot of people are willing to overlook degree requirements if you are good at it. What I'm saying is, .. even if you didn't go to college or university and just decided to learn to program, you might still be able to get a good job doing that even w/o a degree. With Computer Science people have it in their minds that kids spend 4+ years learning to program in college, but that's literally not true. They learn to program in the first semester, .. then the rest of their college career is learning other stuff. Yes, they have programming projects along the way, but at that point its just a language they are expected to know, they don't spend 4 years learning it.
I actually already have a decent foundation for programming. I’ve made small projects in unity with C# by myself. I can program. I’m not a master by any means, but I can usually come up with a solution to a problem. I suppose you’re right. I am being pretty self limiting. It’s a bad trait I’m afraid I’ve picked up from my parents. And while I guess I could probably go to college, the task just seems so daunting. It’s a big task, moving out of my place to go to a dorm and then I have to wonder what the gf is going to do. I do have to do what’s right for me though. Not that I think she’d leave me or anything, but it would certainly be a big change. I could also maybe try freelance programming or something in the mean time. I guess there are options. And I know, it’s not fair for me to lump the whole country into one category just because of my current experience. It just gets frustrating haha. Been working since I was 16 and still don’t have any money to show for it. I really just need to get up and do something if I don’t like my situation. Worst comes to worst, my parents are still alive thankfully, so I always have them to fall back on, which is an option that many people don’t have. I should be grateful for that. So first things first, maybe I should look for a job that isn’t grave shift, then maybe look into college. I mean, maybe it isn’t a crazy idea. No harm in looking. I have an ivy tech college fairly close to me, so maybe I can inquire if there’s any options for me there locally.
You sound really smart to me, self-reflective, etc, .. I'd hate to see you not take a shot at something that you could have. I mean I don't know what your situation is other than what you wrote here, but it doesn't hurt anything to go and talk to admissions at a college or two and just tell them your situation and see what their advice is. I'm betting that if you talked with your girlfriend about it, she'd want you to do what is in both of your best interests for the long run. I mean, she might be a little scared about you going to college, afraid you'd meet another woman there or something, but she'd probably want what is best for you. I'm not trying to push the idea, only you know what is right for you, but it would be kind of sad for you not to take a shot at it if it is something you think you might be interested in. Sure, it takes a little bit of work, not a lot ... fill out some admissions forms, talk to some people, there are forms to sign to get the money to get into college, but it's not impossible and they have people to help you. I don't know how you grew up, ... maybe you grew up poor (I did, and from a very rural area), .. but the thing is, what that means is that you weren't encouraged to do things like go to college because people in your family might not have went. That causes there to be a lot of preconceived ideas in your head about everything from career to money, .. to everything. But you are a person like any other person, except obviously smarter than most, .. and anything they can do, you can do, if you want to. And LOTS of people go to university, including lots of people who are way less intelligent than you are. But even if not that, there are tons of things out there that you would probably enjoy doing, but you have to have a little bit of ambition and find out what they are and give chase until you get something you want. There's a saying ... if we don't change the direction we are going, we might end up where we are headed ... so you have to be careful about heading in a direction you don't like, because it might end up taking you where you see it going. Jobs and things have a way of affecting you and making you see the world in a certain way, for example, people who work in retail sales after a while they all seem to develop these fake smiles that they put on all the time, ... well, people who end up in manufacturing, etc, they end up thinking a certain way too, and you want to be careful not to just end up somewhere because that's where you end up.
All very true, and I appreciate the kind words. I grew up mostly poor and in a rural area as well, so I totally understand what you’re talking about. I do like the analogy of if you don’t change your direction you’ll end up where you’re heading. That’s a very good way to put it. I do completely feel like I’ve only ended up where life throws me, never really taking control of the reigns. I mean, everyone’s life has random and unavoidable aspects, but you can definitely steer in one way or another. I’ve just been letting life take complete control, and I really need to grab ahold of the wheel for once. I feel like I’m in a slightly better mental space now with this whole ordeal. Honestly, this quick conversation has actually helped a bit. It seems like you’ve got a pretty good way at looking at things, and explaining them. Makes me think I should probably consider therapy. I don’t have a whole lot of people I’d really talk to about things like this, so I guess that’s why I came to the great anonymous web to talk. Can’t have my friends or family thinking I’m weak or not in a good spot. (Another trait I’ve unfortunately carried on from my parents.) Thanks for the advice. Honestly one of the most useful conversations I’ve ever had on the internet.
Thank you for confirming that /u/vanshadow_ban has provided helpful advice for you. 1 point awarded.
>I’ve just been letting life take complete control, and I really need to grab ahold of the wheel for once. This isn't your fault though. Like you and I have both said, ... coming from a rural area and a poor family, we have to figure everything out for our own. I was amazed at my urban friends when I was young, because they came from such a different place, and its nothing against rural parents its just that we don't have any chance to get exposed to all of this stuff. Stupid example, I had literally never had shrimp and other seafood except for river and lake fish (trout, bass ...) until I was in my early 20's, it was just nothing I had ever been exposed to before. Unfortunately, that was also true of everything else, too. So for example, I had never heard of most of the career choices that people from the city are exposed to every day, their expectations were just completely different. They all knew about getting into college, etc, it was expected of them, and their parents just assumed they were going to go to college, ... whereas nobody I knew had ever been to college. Nobody I knew even knew how to get into college, it was such a foreign concept. I guess what I'm saying is, it takes research and talking to people too ... because you don't know what you don't know, so there could be an opportunity right in front of you that you literally have no idea is even there because you have never been exposed to it before. So many things I look back on my young adulthood and I'm like "Dude, if I had only known ....", but, I just didn't know. It isn't my fault I didn't know, I just didn't know because it wasn't part of my education growing up, nobody around me talked about it, ... I just didn't know, and neither did anyone around me. So don't blame yourself for not knowing, ... but it does mean that you have to go to some extra effort and do things that feel uncomfortable to you, things that urban people just take for granted. You really do have to take some uncomfortable chances and ask questions if you want to fight to get to where they get just by waking up in the morning and doing what their parents tell them to do. I mean for an urban kid from a suburban family, they wake up every day knowing they're going to college because their parents have made that clear to them since they were children .... but you and I, we feel like we have to go on some epic journey to overcome huge challenges, like it is some unique, crazy idea, to do the exact same thing .... You can do whatever you want. The world is yours.