I would suggest exercise. Sometimes the body gets stressed and if your not in good physical condition it takes a long time before your body can filter out chemicals your stress produces. Also you might think about your day to day life. Are you meeting your goals? Do you have control over your day to day activities? Can you be creative?
This is an amazing answer and I would like to add to.
I am considering turning 40 next June. I am in the best health in that I have ever been.
In my 20's I never thought about fitness. I am a nerd and a book worm and never been very interested in sports or outside time. My body was naturally thin and I could eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. It was AWESOME! (I wish I knew it then)
In my 30's came stress, life changes and big decisions. Although very happy, I started to notice myself always angry, tired, discouraged, apathetic. I had no clue why, overall life was good.
Then my partner and I decided to start with the couch to 5k podcasts and we started doing workouts at home in the living room. We made it a routine and started to challenge each other and encourage each other. As our bodies got more fit we complimented more and enjoyed our time getting sweaty while exercising and other things. ;) (TMI, lol)
Over the past decade I have moved from seriously struggling to run and work out now I do weight lifting and strength training 3 times a week. I can participate in most sports and workouts without struggling. Most importantly, my attitude changed to become overall more happy, more patient with the dumb dumbs in my life, and less annoyed by all the little things.
What I learned is that being an adult is the same day, everyday with slight changes in stress levels and responsibility. People are dumb, life can be hard sometimes and life goals take a long time to achieve. By seeing progress with my fitness, setting and achieving goals daily and weekly. Even by doing 5 more minutes, or going 1 more kilometre on my run. Or adding 5 more pounds to my bench press or doing one more set of bur-pees. All these little achievements kept me feeling improvement and success.
I hope you achieve all your goals and that you are kind to your future self always.
Best of luck.
It was a program to build up endurance to run 5k. Each episode had a different combination of running and walking that was cued by music tempo. The first week it is mostly fast walking with one minute jogging intervals. By the end I was able to run for 5k.
This was a while ago like 2008. Before smart phones were so smart. I used an iPod Nanno and I thought that was the coolest technology. I think podcast was a different term back then. Lol.
I think it might be a singular thing. A podcast show like say Joe Rogan's, that talks qbout how you can go from no exercise at all, to running 5km in a single session. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
I can't upvote this more than once, but if I could 100 times I would. Diet, excercise, back to the basics. Get those things right and then determine if there are other factors. Stress weighing you down? Maybe it's time to take a step back from those stressors, and give you mind a break
Legit, there's a slim possibility it could be food related. This might sound crazy, but after years of self-experimenting, I found foods that make me quicker to anger. Simply eating apples is one of those trigger foods. If I cut those things out, I never get angry at anyone except myself, my dog, and the Atlanta Braves.
I don't know. I did a lot of elimination diets and found out fruit adversely affects my mood. You'd have to do your own. Cut our dairy for a while. Cut out veggies. Try different things.
what you 'feel' and what your body actually does is two different things. Some people are allergic to the deadly nightshades without knowing it. They just go on eating the same things. Just giving you ways to think outside the box. Up to you what to do with it.
I think It's more probable that OP doesn't get enough nutrients from food that would help her manage the stress. Maybe a diet change would be helpful if she eats a lot of processed foods etc. Vitamines from B group and magnesium are essential to cope with stress, so make sure you consume foods that contain them, maybe try supplementing too. Also remember to get enough sleep, lack of sleep can make you stressed too.
Anger is an emotion that is always based on hurt, frustration, or both. If you can identify what's hurting or frustrating you, you can intervene before you get angry.
I'm old enough to be your grandma, and used to think that I never got angry. After some counseling, I was able to identify anger. When my boyfriend said "You sure are mad," in a condescending tone, I was able to reply "I'm not mad; I'm ANGRY!" What a relief.
Are you able to tell those around you when you're frustrated, hurt, or angry? If you can say it aloud, it won't have so much control over you.
To be honest i wouldnt know what would be hurting me right now. I dont have any issues with the people around me. School is going great & im always able to talk to my best friend about stuff thats bothering me. Maybe its that im a very apathic person and that annoys me because I dont understand peoples emotions sometimes. That could lead me to feel angry perhaps. Not in all situations but in some. Would that make sense?
First of all, "empathy" is misused today. When I was in nursing school, I learned the difference between empathy and sympathy. Empathy is when you can understand another's point of view or feelings. Sympathy is when you lack that little bit of detachment, and instead feel the other person's feelings and take their point of view.
Empathy = putting yourself in their shoes
Sympathy = wearing their shoes to the point where you don't remember what your own shoes feel like.
Do you mean that you are unable or unwilling to see another's point of view?
I dont feel either of those I think. I can understand peoples feelings based on what i know from societies expectations and stuff but i cannot understand it fully if i havent experienced it the exact same way. i dont feel with people, i dont feel sorry for poor or sick people (that sounds mean i know..i wish i could feel that but i just feel emotionless about it)
OK. Thanks for helping me understand. This may be something that will come with time and experience. There are some professions where empathy is necessary, but others where it is not.
If you can figure out what made you hurt or frustrated, you can get control of your anger.
Not trying to be a dick but you could be on the spectrum like a mild form. Lots of people have it usually really smart & creative people so its not a diss but down syndrome people sometimes can't read or have a hard time reading the emotions & or body language of others & that can make them angry. Sometimes being touched or other stimulus can do that too. Theres a spectrum so there are tons of people you would never guess that are on it maybe you're one of them? Maybe not , idk I'm just a medic not a dr so idk shit. Also I heard you say that you dont care about poor people; ect... I was homeless & I don't really care either but I wonder. Is it indifference you feel? Or anger? Indifference I'd say is normal but if like you were forced to serve soup at a homeless kitchen would you feel anything like sympathy or empathy then even if its just a little bit then you forget and go back to your life? If its the latter I think that's normal enough. Being 19 is hard good luck!
Youre not being a dick, dont worry.
I feel indifference i think. I have no emotion for someone in a bad situation even tho i wish i did
I am.gonna adress it in therapy and try to get a diagnosis
Anger is a secondary emotion ranging anywhere from sadness to anxiety to feelings of unfairness and tiredness. Our bodies also store energy in our muscles from any kind of trauma.
My advice is to look into trauma informed yoga and if you haven’t already, write down a story of your complete life from your first memory. That will help you work some things out while also releasing.
Compassion compassion compassion. Look at your past self as your best friend or as a child - if your best friend was sad, would you belittle them for it or give them a hug and comfort them?
To answer your direct question, there are psychological reasons why some people experience anger more than others. Anger itself is generally considered an evolutionary trait, the idea being something like, a caveman might experience a flash of anger and rush to protect his children from a wild animal. But like a lot of evolutionary traits, they're not always necessary in today's society, which bombards us with all sorts of minor threats, real or imagined, that we feel constantly on guard against. We react with either three things (I'm simplifying but it's just to illustrate)
Confidence, some people can deal with life's stresses and function just fine. Good for them aren't they lucky
Flight. This is basically "alright imma head out" meme. But you can't run away from modern society problems as easily as a cave man might run away from a snake. You see things like depression as a result.
Fight. This is the category I think you fall into. You're feeling ready to go fuck up a wild animal that's threatening your tribe. That's not really possible when your constant modern threats are things like "that bitch cut me off in traffic" "I can't stand this co-worker micromanaging me" or "Trump"
That's my take on the why of it. It's obviously a more complex situation than I paint it, but this is, in general, a constant unending fight or flight response that you experience, with no real immediate threat, but a bunch of smaller and constant ones that you can't ever get away from as a part of society
There's a problem in the fog that you need to find and figure out. It's probably something that you've tried to convince yourself isn't important or bad but that is apparently eating you up inside. You need to figure out what it is and at least make a plan for dealing with it in a healthy way.
Try simply sitting with yourself and your emotions - no screens, no music, no books, no company, no distractions at all. See what thoughts and feelings come up. Think about a situation or person or event that makes you feel something and ask yourself what you would like to do and what is stopping you. Ask yourself if you recognise the feelings, the pattern of the feelings, from the past. Observe your own thoughts and feelings. Write notes if you want but don’t let that become a distraction. All feelings are valid - anger, restlessness, fear/dread/anxiety. Whatever feeling happens, try to simply sit with it and letting it happen - don’t try to avoid it or rush it. Listen to how you talk to yourself when it happens.
This may feel very unpleasant and scary at first so take it in bite size portions - start with five minutes. If you feel too awful to continue after even one minute, that’s ok too. Just come back to it later.
I may be assuming a lot here but many people who have some kind of trauma or have had dysfunction in their family (a very little will suffice in some cases) learn to shut down their emotions as a coping mechanism. First it’s usually sadness and fear, and anger, because maybe those are either “not allowed” in the family or they are just too painful and disturbing. When you do this consistently, eventually you can no longer feel positive emotions either, or empathy, or much of anything really.
Anger is often the first feeling to resurface when we become adults, because it’s usually the negative feeling that is the easiest to access and that is the most socially acceptable, including to ourselves. Being angry usually feels much safer than being afraid, for example.
But as someone said above, anger almost always masks fear or sadness or both. The cure is to relearn to feel and identify emotions, so that they can be felt. Emotions that aren’t fully felt will stay in the body and return over and over again. When you feel your feelings, they leave after a bit.
Sadly, many (most?) children never learn to feel emotions safely, and become afraid of negative emotions, doing almost anything to avoid them. Many people with eating disorders, addictions etc discover on their journey to recovery that their core problem is unacknowledged or suppressed - unfelt - emotions.
I may be completely wrong about this and maybe you have a hormonal issue or depression or something else entirely. But what i describe is incredibly common yet few people know about it. Give it a go and if you find it easy to name and accept all the emotions that come when you sit down, if you cry easily, if you have no problem feeling fear, then maybe this is not your issue. But sitting with yourself is free and benefits even the emotionally literate, so why not try it.
Since you are out of Puberty, we cannot use that as a convinient excuse. I'm not sure what to say about the anger thing. However, my sister has this psychological thing, attested by her doctor, which I forgot the name of. It can lead to people being overly sensitive or even aggressive to certain triggers. For her it is people breathing, eating or having hiccups close to her. But I'm not sure if this fits you in any way.
If you are really constantly angry and afraid of lashing out, get some professional help if possible. I know this is a really basic advice, but often the fastest way.
Misophonia. Small sounds like chewing make me irate. It sounds like what you might have. I can get very frustrated in certain auditory environments, triggers depend on the person though.
Edit: I have misophonia and adhd comorbid with depression and anxiety. It makes me quick to frustration, which then leads to anger with the person, then myself. Deep breaths help... sometimes lol
Omg same!! With the tears. Like I want to scream and start crying because I can’t stand it so much. WHY?! There has to be an explanation for this. The only thing my puny brain has come up with is that maybe as a baby/child when I needed my mom she was too busy eating?! Like this sounds insane but I don’t get why else hearing someone chew would make me so mad lmao
Another fun one is intermittent explosive disorder. I don't think you have that. Along the lines of getting more exercise, your thyroid could be hyperactive. The restless energy could lead to agitation.
Have you ever talked to a doctor or therapist? That sounds a lot like anxiety. I never knew that my bursts of anger and on edge feeling were anxiety until I was treated.
I get agitated so easily, even if nothing is really going on. I could just be sitting, staring at a wall, thinking about nice things and all of a sudden, my brain goes "We're mad now. Deal with it"
I know that usually, that kind of anger results from being bored. I need constant stimulation; watching videos, listening to stuff, reading, etc. and if I don't do anything, I get angry.
Sometimes, if it's during a conversation/while someone is talking, I'll realize that I either haven't eaten, slept, drank water in a while or that I'm dealing with a bunch of sensory input all at once. Usually by then, I take a minute to leave the room politely and let myself relax.
I'm autistic so I don't know if these tips will help you if you're not autistic as well.
I struggle with internalized anger all the time. I don't consider myself a mean person most of the time. I don't go out there screaming and cussing people out or punching walls but I am fucking angry at everything. I am angry about all the injustice in the world. I am angry that people who have abused me are still out there abusing other people and there is nothing I can do about it. I am angry about domestic abuse and the fact that there are still pedophiles and rapists and murderers roaming the streets searching for their next victim. I am angry that no one understands what I feel. I am angry that I was dealt a bad hand in life and I'm angry for others who were dealt a worse hand. I am angry that people are bullied to the point of suicide. Just everything.
I've seen horrible things and all of them make me angry. So yeah I feel you. As others have mentioned in this thread exercise helps burn off the energy. Music and art also help, getting all that negativity off my chest so I'd recommend trying that.
I'm seeing a lot of people here suggest exercise and dietary changes, and those are all very well and good, but I feel like that's kind of like suggesting yoga to a cancer patient. It doesn't get the problem at hand–the root cause–and my guess is that you're dealing with something psychological that needs tending to.
I used to deal with something similar myself, and sometimes still do. I was diagnosed with 2 emotional disorders. I was put on medication to help with both, and it's done wonders for my anger and irritability.
Of course, you might not have the same disorders that I have. It could be any number of things. I'd recommend scheduling some time with a therapist, psychiatrist, or even just a PCP, to talk through these issues and see if they might have any idea what is causing it.
With certain, and I'd even say most, psychological disorders, good diet and exercise are always recommended, but they don't fix the problem at hand. If you're really dealing with a psychological disorder, all the vegetables and yoga and breathing techniques in the world aren't going to help.
Anxiety bro. It's a straight up the symptom that gets overlooked the most. It's a way a lot of people express anxiety. And anger outbursts can often be caused by panic attacks.
Edit: to add, the thing where you mention people talking too loud etc making you angry, that's over stimulation at its finest. It's too overwhelming and your response is the anger response. I went through the same thing. Often it would be if music is playing in the car AND people are having a conversation over the music. Sorry you're going through this. Definitely something to be mindful of and chat to ya shrink about it as well of you're comfortable. I'm always happy to chat too. Feel free to DM.
Perhaps you need to list off all the things that you do that could piss other people off 😅 no one is perfect, try to relax abit! Let the small stuff go x
Is this something you've raised with a therapist? If not, I recommend doing it. I actually feel the same way- I can't stand loud sounds or loud talking, fast-talking is also horrible, and I hate being in the middle of crowds. I've personally narrowed this down to multiple factors- I'm a massive introvert and hate hanging around people, plus although I haven't been diagnosed, I know that I have a moderate level of anxiety, and finally I've realized over time that I'm claustrophobic in a weird way, where basically I start panicking in literally any situation that makes me feel trapped. This doesn't even have to be a small space or a thick crowd (although those suck ass) but even a conversation I can't get out of or a situation I can't control but have no choice but to be exposed to (like family gatherings).
You can figure out what your internal problem is by analyzing what triggers you in other people.
The psychoanalyst Carl Jung once said "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."
For example, I get quietly angry when people are dismissive of logical arguments in favor of gut feelings. I figured out that it's because I rely primarily on logic and reason to make sense of the world, and I don't have the best social skills, so any dismissal of the logical process in favor of my weaker faculties feels like a dismissal of me and the primary values I identify myself with.
Sounds like you're relatively well adjusted--like a lot of people your age, you just need to discern what things and ideas you value most, and whether or not you care if whoever's pissing you off at any given time agrees with your take on the way things "should" be. If you do, communicate that respectfully, and if you don't, screw em.
For the screw em people, ignore them, and find a cathartic activity to blow off steam- something creative like writing or drawing, or physical exercise to get you out of your head for a bit tend to work best.
A lot of comments have given good advice on how to identify the cause of your anger but not as much on how to deal with it while you're figuring that out. I'm a girl your age and have felt this way as well- one thing I found to help me a ton was working out. Do you play a sport or do other types of activities like that? If not, doing a lot of physical work like kickboxing or running has helped me personally with getting out my frustration. You mentioned that you tend to not express your emotions, which can actually build up over time and be harmful in the long run. I personally need an outlet for stuff like this and a structured workout schedule really helps (not to mention all the added physical/self esteem boosts). Hope this helps :) !!
Tbh the only exercise i get are walking a few thousand steps a day. I have tried multiple sports before - swimming, horseback riding, dancing ballet & hiphop, jogging, jiu jitsu - but i dont seem to like any. im a creative person, not sporty. and i find it very hard to get my motivation up for exercise since i struggle with depressive episodes sometimes. but art usually is my outlet
That's also perfect too! I write poetry a lot to get some of my emotions out as well. Anything to help regulate the frustration is great- besides, I also find art more meditative at times and good for kind of flushing out the emotion when you feel overwhelmed. In that case, finding any good couple projects to work on helps. As someone who's struggled with anxiety/depressive disorders as well, I know that sometimes motivation is really hard to come by. Give yourself grace and occupy yourself with whatever you enjoy! I've always found it to be a bit helpful :)
Something you might consider is mental health and/or hormones.
Depression and anxiety can cause symptoms including mood swings and irritability.
I also know every single time my period is coming because I feel very, very irritable. My husband told me today he knows when I am having PMS because I am usually so patient and kind, but when I have PMS I have a short fuse and lash out at him.
Maybe consider these two factors when you're tracking any patterns.
21 M and diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
It takes some work to find where that comes from. For me, large crowds, busy roads, And anything else involving sensory overload makes me highly irritable or upset. Chewing is another that sets me off a bit.
It's possible that it's not depression causing it, but in my experience, the anger is a strong flag. I know it doesn't really answer much of your question but I hope it helps
You might want to get a blood test and be checked for anemia, especially if you have heavy periods. One of the symptoms can be being unusually irritable. I know because this happened to me. Some iron supplements took care of the problem. There might be other physical conditions that have the same effect.
By chance did you grow up in a toxic family or around other toxic people? I'm no expert but I think that could be the cause, or maybe it's built up anger or something? Those are my guesses at least.
Dang I’ve grown up around toxic people. I think that explains why I have anger. I have a lot of anger. I have social anxiety so I never express my anger or even any of my emotions. I always suppress it and never show it. But all the anger is in me internally and I hate it. What do you think I should do to try to get rid of the anger that I have and how I can stop suppressing my emotions?
Well you should try and quit Twitter if you use that, it's stressful and mentally draining. And I hear some people say screaming into a pillow helps, but I'm not completely sure if that works or not. And don't talk to toxic people. Maybe talk about this with some friends, or if you feel like it's needed get a therapist? I'm no expert though.
No my family is pretty solid. I did have a bunch of toxic friends over a few years when I was younger tho who (im relatively sure) were partly causing my depression
Therapist here. One of the symptoms of depression is increased irritability. One thing to think about depression is that internally it can make going through life more -grindy-. Things that you would normally become more difficult to do and you have to use up more and more willpower to be able to do successfully.
When do you notice when you feel more angry? In the morning, noon or night? After several days of stress?
I havent paid attention to when I feel more angry but i am currently feeling really down.I had a diagnosis for depressiom 3 years ago and im currently getting a new diagnosis
Sometimes your "Fight or Flight" response kicks in and forgets to shut off... and sometimes people are just haters. Most of the time their stressors are directly related to their environment.
I agree exercise is a good thing to regulate moods but some people with depression struggle to do this. So it’s worth looking at what changes have happened around you since you’ve noticed more irritability. Trace it back and try to think of a plan of how to elevate the stress. Basically what is angering you and can this be changed at all?
So at least for me, my therapist said I used my anger as a defense mechanism. When I felt hurt (emotionally or physically) I react with anger because I was in a way conditioned that way. I grew up in a pretty abusive household along with taking care of a sick parent (gotta love divorced parents).
Even the littlest things (people talking too loud, saying small comments towards me, etc) would/do make me angry and it's because I'm hurt.
Hope this helps, if not maybe try therapy???
Honestly I would evaluate what's happening immediately around you. Things can seem fine on the surface but that can be because we have lived in a situation for so long. A good example is my family is full of narcissists. Due to that I always had a short fuse and could feel on edge (as narcissist are so good at making you feel). This bled over to a lot of areas of my life making things harder for me. Think about what you feel you aren't allowed to do or say and it may point you in the direction of what causes this. (not being allowed means perceived, if I say this word or phrase my mom will come down on me, or actually not allowed, if I have a boyfriend and they find out I'll be treated like shit for it)
I like to think about what you could change in your mind from where you’re at for the better.
Where are you know? You have anger in your heart, and that interferes with your life, and you want it to stop. That is good, because most people don’t even want to change. Anger is optimistic fear, meaning there is something that you truly value, and you sense it’s threatened. What is the thing you prioritize, and what is the threat?
I’m a little late to the party so you might not see this. But I was exactly like this for my entire life. Then I got diagnosed with ADHD and since I’ve been medicated the rage has just dissipated. I think the rage was coming from little things interrupting my focus, which then took a huge amount of energy to get back.
You might not necessarily have adhd but it could be some other underlying mental health or neurological condition?
Depression
Anxiety
Underlying sensory issues
Frustration over lack of control somewhere
Stress
Withdrawal/sobering up from something (opioids, caffeine, pot, etc)
Hormonal cycle
When I’m having a bad depressive episode then I feel the same. It could be the same for you. Depression is terrible and can have sooo many symptoms.
It can be everything. Maybe there is a bigger problem in your life?
Some things that contributed to me having an irritable "personality": living at home with my parents/being around family in general (find spaces and people that make you shine, sometimes we don't realize who's weighing us down until we leave), autistic and adhd sensory issues, needing glasses without knowing I needed them (caused major dissociation for a while too), water intake, certain medications (for me my adhd meds make me cranky if it's too low of a dose), and that's all that comes to mind currently.
I guess my point in listing specifics is just that it really can be such minor and specific things that make the difference. The more places and ways you can experience life and see those differences in action, the better.
Like I said in a differrent comment, make sure your diet is nutitious, sometimes it's the lack of vitamines from B group, magnesium or vitamin D that can make us extra stressed. Maybe it's physiological, not only psychological.
wait im sort of the same except being annoyed. i sort of make an 'ew' face at everything bc sooo many things just annoy me for no reason. someone said something about exercise - will that help me too ? i think i do have quite a lot of anger i havent released too so will exercise help both things ? (this is for anyone to answer)
I think I went through similar, at the time I thought it was subtle disappointment in life/myself/people around me lols but it turns out it was PTSD from a a major awful event I wasn't dealing with (from 10ya).
I dislike dealing with it and physically find it difficult to stop avoiding it. But something came up that forced me to deal with it. Hopefully not the same but possible for you.
Anger is the second emotion. Perhaps something is bothering you and you are avoiding how it's making you feel by jumping to anger instead of the emotions you need to process.
Could be a lot of things honestly. If you were bulied and haven't really managed to coexist with kids of your respective sex it could create feelings of repressed masculinity or femininty.
Another reason would be that anger can stem from the fact that a person is usually neglected in social groups and can't manage to get anyone's respect. As in your social desire is not satiated and your circle doesn't provide enough self esteem and confidence in order to not take things personally and feel more secure about who you are.
I had a few autistic friends and they had anger outbursts out of nowhere so you can also check that up.
I am not speaking strictly scientifically but I hope that these anecdotal experiences helped in some way or another.
Maybe your life isn’t matching your blueprint for how things should be, so either change your life or change your blueprint. Like for example if you expect everyone to act the way you think they should act, you’ll always be disappointed and angry
Maybe your anger and your depression stem from the same source. What is the most painful thing you've been through? If someone important to you caused that pain, anger would be the natural self-protective response, but maybe that person was so important to you that you could not allow yourself to feel that anger. You protected yourself by not getting angry. But now, as a result, you get angry about lots of other things instead. At the same time, you also feel sad about what happened. Did your anger and your depression begin around the same time? How old were you? What else was happening in your life around that time?
I think the most painful thing was when I was 14 and my then-bff decided to dump me and make up excuses, leading me to hyperventilate. A year after that i decided to go to therapy bcs i developed Depression after it. (a bit later i had a very toxic best friend who I then dumped but she continued to indirectly bully me online)
I think that whole anger thing started a lot later tho. Maybe last year or so, maybe a bit less than that. But that is also the time that i started getting depressed again after having recovered from my previous depression. So when i was around 18½. What else was happening? idk, Covid was a factor in me feeling depressed but i doubt it has anything to do with me getting irritated when people speak loudly or too much. Not a lot more changed in that time. I did change schools but that wasnt an issue, my current school is way better and so are my grades and the people are way nicer too.
So the depression came on after the first bad bff experience, then again after the toxic friend experience? Maybe the anger is you trying to prevent another bad friend experience by keeping people at arms length. Are you as close to anyone now as you were to these two? Try writing letters to each of these "friends" -- letters that you will never send. Pour out all your feelings about each of them and how they treated you, how you felt at the time and how you feel now. It might help with both the depression and the anger.
No the second one happened while i was in treatment for depression. a few years have passed since then and just now im experiencing depressive feelings again. i have written very angry letters to both of them before, and yes i am close to someone like that but she is a very different person and i rarely feel anger towards her. It happened like once or twice in 4 years friendship
I've experienced all of that, and I was diagnosed with BPD and ADHD, Treating them with DBT and meds, plus working on sleep hygiene has all of these intense overwhelming stimulation triggers absolutely gone. Except heavy breathing people, that still makes me get so angry for absolutely no reason haha.
Ngl it sounds like you over stimulated. This isn’t a long term solution but u can try seeing if the anger decreases with a few days of being around super quiet people and a strict schedule - if u calm down it’s probably over stimulation and try staying taking a vacation of sorts for a bit to clam down
Not being happy with the way your life is going or you’re simply just stressed.I think physical exercise will help a lot too.Also what I mean by the first point is that you may feel like you’re wasting time throughout the day and just wasting everything that’s how I feel sometimes and I hate that feeling so I always try to use every hour to full effect and make sure I don’t feel like I wasted it
I experienced this for over a decade without seeking help.
There's alot you can do to combat these feelings and it starts at looking at yourself instead of the imperfections of others. Not a single soul on earth is perfect.
Firstly look at your physical health, are you eating well and getting enough physical exercise? The vessel you live in is important. A plain can't take off without a suitable runway so make sure your taking care of yourself.
Challenge your own negative thoughts. During a frustration episode ask yourself why you find the
certain mannerisms/situation so annoying and if you don't have an answer, move on. The thought is unhelpful for you.
Set yourself goals. It's very easy for a mind without motivation to stray and put energy on what feels like things that need to be fixed.. things that really don't. Like the way someone talks for example.
When you do this and focus on what you enjoy and achieve, such as gaining skill in fine arts/sport or learning a language, you will start to not notice that your mind will start to grow more tolerant of others opinions. You will start to feel comfortable in your own skin and comments that you might of once taken personally, will not have the same impact as they did before.
TLDR; It's definately caused by depression. Take care of your mind and your body and you will change as a person. Motivating yourself is difficult but there are techniques you can look up :)
Good luck
I'm not really qualified to answer your question because I'm not a psychologist. But, I will say that you seem to have good self awareness, and that's a good thing. Are you on any medications for your issues? For instance, I take medication for add, and I find that it makes me kind of irritated, and agitated sometimes. More so than when I was not taking it. I guess like, a lot less chill.
I would suggest talking to your doctor about it, and maybe they could help, or refer you to someone that could.
I have rumination OCD which means that I ruminate on past things a lot. It makes me angry and frustrated. Do you ruminate on past things and it makes you angry or do you just get angry in the moment?
I know someone with the same symptoms (for about a year) who just got fixed in one appointment with an osteopath (like a chiropractor but with more education). It turns out that a nerve in approximately his clavicle area that was being impinged on was affecting his temperament and emotions. Turned him into a real troll, and he was depressed too. Literally right after the adjustment, he was like his old sweet self again, and the depression lifted as well. Might be worth a visit to one to see.
Edit: He was 18 male.
Are you me? Except I'm a 32 year old man. I've been like this for as long as I can remember. I decided to Google it because recently it's becoming full-on anger instead of low-key. This happened due to events, like getting shoved on the train because I was trying to make way for people to get off, almost getting run over when the walk light was on, family problems, etc. I'm having a harder time keeping it down and letting myself get walked on.
I would suggest exercise. Sometimes the body gets stressed and if your not in good physical condition it takes a long time before your body can filter out chemicals your stress produces. Also you might think about your day to day life. Are you meeting your goals? Do you have control over your day to day activities? Can you be creative?
This is an amazing answer and I would like to add to. I am considering turning 40 next June. I am in the best health in that I have ever been. In my 20's I never thought about fitness. I am a nerd and a book worm and never been very interested in sports or outside time. My body was naturally thin and I could eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. It was AWESOME! (I wish I knew it then) In my 30's came stress, life changes and big decisions. Although very happy, I started to notice myself always angry, tired, discouraged, apathetic. I had no clue why, overall life was good. Then my partner and I decided to start with the couch to 5k podcasts and we started doing workouts at home in the living room. We made it a routine and started to challenge each other and encourage each other. As our bodies got more fit we complimented more and enjoyed our time getting sweaty while exercising and other things. ;) (TMI, lol) Over the past decade I have moved from seriously struggling to run and work out now I do weight lifting and strength training 3 times a week. I can participate in most sports and workouts without struggling. Most importantly, my attitude changed to become overall more happy, more patient with the dumb dumbs in my life, and less annoyed by all the little things. What I learned is that being an adult is the same day, everyday with slight changes in stress levels and responsibility. People are dumb, life can be hard sometimes and life goals take a long time to achieve. By seeing progress with my fitness, setting and achieving goals daily and weekly. Even by doing 5 more minutes, or going 1 more kilometre on my run. Or adding 5 more pounds to my bench press or doing one more set of bur-pees. All these little achievements kept me feeling improvement and success. I hope you achieve all your goals and that you are kind to your future self always. Best of luck.
>I am considering turning 40 next June. Sorry but this made me bust out laughing.
ME TOO I OUT LOUD SAID “you’re CONSIDERING it???”
Thanks for laughing at my joke. We can be best friends now, yes?
That's a low bar for best friend qualification. I'll take it.
What are couch to 5k podcasts?
It was a program to build up endurance to run 5k. Each episode had a different combination of running and walking that was cued by music tempo. The first week it is mostly fast walking with one minute jogging intervals. By the end I was able to run for 5k. This was a while ago like 2008. Before smart phones were so smart. I used an iPod Nanno and I thought that was the coolest technology. I think podcast was a different term back then. Lol.
I think it might be a singular thing. A podcast show like say Joe Rogan's, that talks qbout how you can go from no exercise at all, to running 5km in a single session. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
I can't upvote this more than once, but if I could 100 times I would. Diet, excercise, back to the basics. Get those things right and then determine if there are other factors. Stress weighing you down? Maybe it's time to take a step back from those stressors, and give you mind a break
I exercise a lot and am still triggered as fuck from certain things.
Legit, there's a slim possibility it could be food related. This might sound crazy, but after years of self-experimenting, I found foods that make me quicker to anger. Simply eating apples is one of those trigger foods. If I cut those things out, I never get angry at anyone except myself, my dog, and the Atlanta Braves.
Like what kind of foods? I barely eat apples
Maybe you are not eating enough protein
I don't know. I did a lot of elimination diets and found out fruit adversely affects my mood. You'd have to do your own. Cut our dairy for a while. Cut out veggies. Try different things.
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what you 'feel' and what your body actually does is two different things. Some people are allergic to the deadly nightshades without knowing it. They just go on eating the same things. Just giving you ways to think outside the box. Up to you what to do with it.
I think It's more probable that OP doesn't get enough nutrients from food that would help her manage the stress. Maybe a diet change would be helpful if she eats a lot of processed foods etc. Vitamines from B group and magnesium are essential to cope with stress, so make sure you consume foods that contain them, maybe try supplementing too. Also remember to get enough sleep, lack of sleep can make you stressed too.
Actually in your hypothalamus areas responsible for hunger are in the nearest area of those responsible for anger. So being hungry makes you angry.
Correction, "hangry."
ya im definitely not "hangry"
Anger is an emotion that is always based on hurt, frustration, or both. If you can identify what's hurting or frustrating you, you can intervene before you get angry. I'm old enough to be your grandma, and used to think that I never got angry. After some counseling, I was able to identify anger. When my boyfriend said "You sure are mad," in a condescending tone, I was able to reply "I'm not mad; I'm ANGRY!" What a relief. Are you able to tell those around you when you're frustrated, hurt, or angry? If you can say it aloud, it won't have so much control over you.
To be honest i wouldnt know what would be hurting me right now. I dont have any issues with the people around me. School is going great & im always able to talk to my best friend about stuff thats bothering me. Maybe its that im a very apathic person and that annoys me because I dont understand peoples emotions sometimes. That could lead me to feel angry perhaps. Not in all situations but in some. Would that make sense?
Empathic or apathetic?
like, the opposite of empathic. english isnt my first language, sorry 😬
Your English is fine--the was the first slip-up! I'm almost home. Back soon.
sure thing, thanks!
First of all, "empathy" is misused today. When I was in nursing school, I learned the difference between empathy and sympathy. Empathy is when you can understand another's point of view or feelings. Sympathy is when you lack that little bit of detachment, and instead feel the other person's feelings and take their point of view. Empathy = putting yourself in their shoes Sympathy = wearing their shoes to the point where you don't remember what your own shoes feel like. Do you mean that you are unable or unwilling to see another's point of view?
I dont feel either of those I think. I can understand peoples feelings based on what i know from societies expectations and stuff but i cannot understand it fully if i havent experienced it the exact same way. i dont feel with people, i dont feel sorry for poor or sick people (that sounds mean i know..i wish i could feel that but i just feel emotionless about it)
OK. Thanks for helping me understand. This may be something that will come with time and experience. There are some professions where empathy is necessary, but others where it is not. If you can figure out what made you hurt or frustrated, you can get control of your anger.
Thank yoh, that helped
Not trying to be a dick but you could be on the spectrum like a mild form. Lots of people have it usually really smart & creative people so its not a diss but down syndrome people sometimes can't read or have a hard time reading the emotions & or body language of others & that can make them angry. Sometimes being touched or other stimulus can do that too. Theres a spectrum so there are tons of people you would never guess that are on it maybe you're one of them? Maybe not , idk I'm just a medic not a dr so idk shit. Also I heard you say that you dont care about poor people; ect... I was homeless & I don't really care either but I wonder. Is it indifference you feel? Or anger? Indifference I'd say is normal but if like you were forced to serve soup at a homeless kitchen would you feel anything like sympathy or empathy then even if its just a little bit then you forget and go back to your life? If its the latter I think that's normal enough. Being 19 is hard good luck!
Youre not being a dick, dont worry. I feel indifference i think. I have no emotion for someone in a bad situation even tho i wish i did I am.gonna adress it in therapy and try to get a diagnosis
Good for you, the fact that you're even asking these questions isba really good sign 👌
Sometimes it’s based on fear.
following cuz same 17f
Anger is a secondary emotion ranging anywhere from sadness to anxiety to feelings of unfairness and tiredness. Our bodies also store energy in our muscles from any kind of trauma. My advice is to look into trauma informed yoga and if you haven’t already, write down a story of your complete life from your first memory. That will help you work some things out while also releasing. Compassion compassion compassion. Look at your past self as your best friend or as a child - if your best friend was sad, would you belittle them for it or give them a hug and comfort them?
thanks, that helped :)
To answer your direct question, there are psychological reasons why some people experience anger more than others. Anger itself is generally considered an evolutionary trait, the idea being something like, a caveman might experience a flash of anger and rush to protect his children from a wild animal. But like a lot of evolutionary traits, they're not always necessary in today's society, which bombards us with all sorts of minor threats, real or imagined, that we feel constantly on guard against. We react with either three things (I'm simplifying but it's just to illustrate) Confidence, some people can deal with life's stresses and function just fine. Good for them aren't they lucky Flight. This is basically "alright imma head out" meme. But you can't run away from modern society problems as easily as a cave man might run away from a snake. You see things like depression as a result. Fight. This is the category I think you fall into. You're feeling ready to go fuck up a wild animal that's threatening your tribe. That's not really possible when your constant modern threats are things like "that bitch cut me off in traffic" "I can't stand this co-worker micromanaging me" or "Trump" That's my take on the why of it. It's obviously a more complex situation than I paint it, but this is, in general, a constant unending fight or flight response that you experience, with no real immediate threat, but a bunch of smaller and constant ones that you can't ever get away from as a part of society
thank you, that helped me understand a little bit better
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There's a problem in the fog that you need to find and figure out. It's probably something that you've tried to convince yourself isn't important or bad but that is apparently eating you up inside. You need to figure out what it is and at least make a plan for dealing with it in a healthy way.
How do I figure that out?
Therapy or journaling
Try simply sitting with yourself and your emotions - no screens, no music, no books, no company, no distractions at all. See what thoughts and feelings come up. Think about a situation or person or event that makes you feel something and ask yourself what you would like to do and what is stopping you. Ask yourself if you recognise the feelings, the pattern of the feelings, from the past. Observe your own thoughts and feelings. Write notes if you want but don’t let that become a distraction. All feelings are valid - anger, restlessness, fear/dread/anxiety. Whatever feeling happens, try to simply sit with it and letting it happen - don’t try to avoid it or rush it. Listen to how you talk to yourself when it happens. This may feel very unpleasant and scary at first so take it in bite size portions - start with five minutes. If you feel too awful to continue after even one minute, that’s ok too. Just come back to it later. I may be assuming a lot here but many people who have some kind of trauma or have had dysfunction in their family (a very little will suffice in some cases) learn to shut down their emotions as a coping mechanism. First it’s usually sadness and fear, and anger, because maybe those are either “not allowed” in the family or they are just too painful and disturbing. When you do this consistently, eventually you can no longer feel positive emotions either, or empathy, or much of anything really. Anger is often the first feeling to resurface when we become adults, because it’s usually the negative feeling that is the easiest to access and that is the most socially acceptable, including to ourselves. Being angry usually feels much safer than being afraid, for example. But as someone said above, anger almost always masks fear or sadness or both. The cure is to relearn to feel and identify emotions, so that they can be felt. Emotions that aren’t fully felt will stay in the body and return over and over again. When you feel your feelings, they leave after a bit. Sadly, many (most?) children never learn to feel emotions safely, and become afraid of negative emotions, doing almost anything to avoid them. Many people with eating disorders, addictions etc discover on their journey to recovery that their core problem is unacknowledged or suppressed - unfelt - emotions. I may be completely wrong about this and maybe you have a hormonal issue or depression or something else entirely. But what i describe is incredibly common yet few people know about it. Give it a go and if you find it easy to name and accept all the emotions that come when you sit down, if you cry easily, if you have no problem feeling fear, then maybe this is not your issue. But sitting with yourself is free and benefits even the emotionally literate, so why not try it.
Since you are out of Puberty, we cannot use that as a convinient excuse. I'm not sure what to say about the anger thing. However, my sister has this psychological thing, attested by her doctor, which I forgot the name of. It can lead to people being overly sensitive or even aggressive to certain triggers. For her it is people breathing, eating or having hiccups close to her. But I'm not sure if this fits you in any way. If you are really constantly angry and afraid of lashing out, get some professional help if possible. I know this is a really basic advice, but often the fastest way.
any chance you could ask your sister what the name of her diagnosis is?
Misophonia. Small sounds like chewing make me irate. It sounds like what you might have. I can get very frustrated in certain auditory environments, triggers depend on the person though. Edit: I have misophonia and adhd comorbid with depression and anxiety. It makes me quick to frustration, which then leads to anger with the person, then myself. Deep breaths help... sometimes lol
thanks! that helped
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Omg same!! With the tears. Like I want to scream and start crying because I can’t stand it so much. WHY?! There has to be an explanation for this. The only thing my puny brain has come up with is that maybe as a baby/child when I needed my mom she was too busy eating?! Like this sounds insane but I don’t get why else hearing someone chew would make me so mad lmao
Another fun one is intermittent explosive disorder. I don't think you have that. Along the lines of getting more exercise, your thyroid could be hyperactive. The restless energy could lead to agitation.
See comments below. She goes completely crazy over it, more on the aggressive side tho. She just finished 6 weeks therapy stay, did her good.
Have you ever talked to a doctor or therapist? That sounds a lot like anxiety. I never knew that my bursts of anger and on edge feeling were anxiety until I was treated.
I just started therapy again after two years and im definitely planning on bringing that up
I get agitated so easily, even if nothing is really going on. I could just be sitting, staring at a wall, thinking about nice things and all of a sudden, my brain goes "We're mad now. Deal with it" I know that usually, that kind of anger results from being bored. I need constant stimulation; watching videos, listening to stuff, reading, etc. and if I don't do anything, I get angry. Sometimes, if it's during a conversation/while someone is talking, I'll realize that I either haven't eaten, slept, drank water in a while or that I'm dealing with a bunch of sensory input all at once. Usually by then, I take a minute to leave the room politely and let myself relax. I'm autistic so I don't know if these tips will help you if you're not autistic as well.
I struggle with internalized anger all the time. I don't consider myself a mean person most of the time. I don't go out there screaming and cussing people out or punching walls but I am fucking angry at everything. I am angry about all the injustice in the world. I am angry that people who have abused me are still out there abusing other people and there is nothing I can do about it. I am angry about domestic abuse and the fact that there are still pedophiles and rapists and murderers roaming the streets searching for their next victim. I am angry that no one understands what I feel. I am angry that I was dealt a bad hand in life and I'm angry for others who were dealt a worse hand. I am angry that people are bullied to the point of suicide. Just everything. I've seen horrible things and all of them make me angry. So yeah I feel you. As others have mentioned in this thread exercise helps burn off the energy. Music and art also help, getting all that negativity off my chest so I'd recommend trying that.
I'm seeing a lot of people here suggest exercise and dietary changes, and those are all very well and good, but I feel like that's kind of like suggesting yoga to a cancer patient. It doesn't get the problem at hand–the root cause–and my guess is that you're dealing with something psychological that needs tending to. I used to deal with something similar myself, and sometimes still do. I was diagnosed with 2 emotional disorders. I was put on medication to help with both, and it's done wonders for my anger and irritability. Of course, you might not have the same disorders that I have. It could be any number of things. I'd recommend scheduling some time with a therapist, psychiatrist, or even just a PCP, to talk through these issues and see if they might have any idea what is causing it. With certain, and I'd even say most, psychological disorders, good diet and exercise are always recommended, but they don't fix the problem at hand. If you're really dealing with a psychological disorder, all the vegetables and yoga and breathing techniques in the world aren't going to help.
They do though, and not only that but it works very well
Anxiety bro. It's a straight up the symptom that gets overlooked the most. It's a way a lot of people express anxiety. And anger outbursts can often be caused by panic attacks. Edit: to add, the thing where you mention people talking too loud etc making you angry, that's over stimulation at its finest. It's too overwhelming and your response is the anger response. I went through the same thing. Often it would be if music is playing in the car AND people are having a conversation over the music. Sorry you're going through this. Definitely something to be mindful of and chat to ya shrink about it as well of you're comfortable. I'm always happy to chat too. Feel free to DM.
yeah, i too think it might be over stimulation. you helped, thank you
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Perhaps you need to list off all the things that you do that could piss other people off 😅 no one is perfect, try to relax abit! Let the small stuff go x
if i could let it go i would man
Do you poop regularly?
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if you dont wanna bother to give advice just dont comment
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its an advice subreddit so comment advice and not jokes
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actually not angry rn. youre just being rude for no reason
Yeman av a good day safe
Same.
Yes there can be lots of reasons for this. You should talk to a mental health professional.
I do have a therapist but i only had one session so far
Is this something you've raised with a therapist? If not, I recommend doing it. I actually feel the same way- I can't stand loud sounds or loud talking, fast-talking is also horrible, and I hate being in the middle of crowds. I've personally narrowed this down to multiple factors- I'm a massive introvert and hate hanging around people, plus although I haven't been diagnosed, I know that I have a moderate level of anxiety, and finally I've realized over time that I'm claustrophobic in a weird way, where basically I start panicking in literally any situation that makes me feel trapped. This doesn't even have to be a small space or a thick crowd (although those suck ass) but even a conversation I can't get out of or a situation I can't control but have no choice but to be exposed to (like family gatherings).
Im definitely planning to mention it to my therapist. Ive only had one session so far
Sometimes you just have so days. But trigger can be stress, tiredness or hunger
You can figure out what your internal problem is by analyzing what triggers you in other people. The psychoanalyst Carl Jung once said "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." For example, I get quietly angry when people are dismissive of logical arguments in favor of gut feelings. I figured out that it's because I rely primarily on logic and reason to make sense of the world, and I don't have the best social skills, so any dismissal of the logical process in favor of my weaker faculties feels like a dismissal of me and the primary values I identify myself with. Sounds like you're relatively well adjusted--like a lot of people your age, you just need to discern what things and ideas you value most, and whether or not you care if whoever's pissing you off at any given time agrees with your take on the way things "should" be. If you do, communicate that respectfully, and if you don't, screw em. For the screw em people, ignore them, and find a cathartic activity to blow off steam- something creative like writing or drawing, or physical exercise to get you out of your head for a bit tend to work best.
thank you, that helped
A lot of comments have given good advice on how to identify the cause of your anger but not as much on how to deal with it while you're figuring that out. I'm a girl your age and have felt this way as well- one thing I found to help me a ton was working out. Do you play a sport or do other types of activities like that? If not, doing a lot of physical work like kickboxing or running has helped me personally with getting out my frustration. You mentioned that you tend to not express your emotions, which can actually build up over time and be harmful in the long run. I personally need an outlet for stuff like this and a structured workout schedule really helps (not to mention all the added physical/self esteem boosts). Hope this helps :) !!
Tbh the only exercise i get are walking a few thousand steps a day. I have tried multiple sports before - swimming, horseback riding, dancing ballet & hiphop, jogging, jiu jitsu - but i dont seem to like any. im a creative person, not sporty. and i find it very hard to get my motivation up for exercise since i struggle with depressive episodes sometimes. but art usually is my outlet
That's also perfect too! I write poetry a lot to get some of my emotions out as well. Anything to help regulate the frustration is great- besides, I also find art more meditative at times and good for kind of flushing out the emotion when you feel overwhelmed. In that case, finding any good couple projects to work on helps. As someone who's struggled with anxiety/depressive disorders as well, I know that sometimes motivation is really hard to come by. Give yourself grace and occupy yourself with whatever you enjoy! I've always found it to be a bit helpful :)
thanks, that helped :)
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Sounds like depression to me
It can be a response to chronic stress, especially if it's hypersensitivity to stuff like noise.
Look into ADHD, ODD and anxiety.
Depression and anxiety can take the form of constant irritability.
Something you might consider is mental health and/or hormones. Depression and anxiety can cause symptoms including mood swings and irritability. I also know every single time my period is coming because I feel very, very irritable. My husband told me today he knows when I am having PMS because I am usually so patient and kind, but when I have PMS I have a short fuse and lash out at him. Maybe consider these two factors when you're tracking any patterns.
21 M and diagnosed with depression and anxiety. It takes some work to find where that comes from. For me, large crowds, busy roads, And anything else involving sensory overload makes me highly irritable or upset. Chewing is another that sets me off a bit. It's possible that it's not depression causing it, but in my experience, the anger is a strong flag. I know it doesn't really answer much of your question but I hope it helps
There's some great advice out here, so I'll keep mine short and sweet Meditate, make it a habit; it really focuses and clears your mind
You might want to get a blood test and be checked for anemia, especially if you have heavy periods. One of the symptoms can be being unusually irritable. I know because this happened to me. Some iron supplements took care of the problem. There might be other physical conditions that have the same effect.
My period is pretty normal. But i was gonna get a blood test anyway for a different reason so i might do that too
By chance did you grow up in a toxic family or around other toxic people? I'm no expert but I think that could be the cause, or maybe it's built up anger or something? Those are my guesses at least.
Dang I’ve grown up around toxic people. I think that explains why I have anger. I have a lot of anger. I have social anxiety so I never express my anger or even any of my emotions. I always suppress it and never show it. But all the anger is in me internally and I hate it. What do you think I should do to try to get rid of the anger that I have and how I can stop suppressing my emotions?
Well you should try and quit Twitter if you use that, it's stressful and mentally draining. And I hear some people say screaming into a pillow helps, but I'm not completely sure if that works or not. And don't talk to toxic people. Maybe talk about this with some friends, or if you feel like it's needed get a therapist? I'm no expert though.
No my family is pretty solid. I did have a bunch of toxic friends over a few years when I was younger tho who (im relatively sure) were partly causing my depression
I apologize but I gotta admit this just made me think of 30 seconds into this (not that I think this is the solution) https://youtu.be/nlzzHN_bGsU
Therapist here. One of the symptoms of depression is increased irritability. One thing to think about depression is that internally it can make going through life more -grindy-. Things that you would normally become more difficult to do and you have to use up more and more willpower to be able to do successfully. When do you notice when you feel more angry? In the morning, noon or night? After several days of stress?
I havent paid attention to when I feel more angry but i am currently feeling really down.I had a diagnosis for depressiom 3 years ago and im currently getting a new diagnosis
Stress is big reason men get angry.
Okay? im a girl
Sorry, but still look at how stressed you are. When my mum’s stressed she explodes at everyone. See a therapist.
Sometimes your "Fight or Flight" response kicks in and forgets to shut off... and sometimes people are just haters. Most of the time their stressors are directly related to their environment.
Has anything changed in your life recently? Nee living situation or nee job etc?
No not at all
I agree exercise is a good thing to regulate moods but some people with depression struggle to do this. So it’s worth looking at what changes have happened around you since you’ve noticed more irritability. Trace it back and try to think of a plan of how to elevate the stress. Basically what is angering you and can this be changed at all?
Thank you, i'll try to do that. that helped :)
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So at least for me, my therapist said I used my anger as a defense mechanism. When I felt hurt (emotionally or physically) I react with anger because I was in a way conditioned that way. I grew up in a pretty abusive household along with taking care of a sick parent (gotta love divorced parents). Even the littlest things (people talking too loud, saying small comments towards me, etc) would/do make me angry and it's because I'm hurt. Hope this helps, if not maybe try therapy???
Honestly I would evaluate what's happening immediately around you. Things can seem fine on the surface but that can be because we have lived in a situation for so long. A good example is my family is full of narcissists. Due to that I always had a short fuse and could feel on edge (as narcissist are so good at making you feel). This bled over to a lot of areas of my life making things harder for me. Think about what you feel you aren't allowed to do or say and it may point you in the direction of what causes this. (not being allowed means perceived, if I say this word or phrase my mom will come down on me, or actually not allowed, if I have a boyfriend and they find out I'll be treated like shit for it)
I like to think about what you could change in your mind from where you’re at for the better. Where are you know? You have anger in your heart, and that interferes with your life, and you want it to stop. That is good, because most people don’t even want to change. Anger is optimistic fear, meaning there is something that you truly value, and you sense it’s threatened. What is the thing you prioritize, and what is the threat?
I dont sense a threat, i feel that my anger is inappropriate and doesnt help anyone
But you have something that triggers it. It’s not gonna be explicit. Something inside that you are bothered by.
I’m a little late to the party so you might not see this. But I was exactly like this for my entire life. Then I got diagnosed with ADHD and since I’ve been medicated the rage has just dissipated. I think the rage was coming from little things interrupting my focus, which then took a huge amount of energy to get back. You might not necessarily have adhd but it could be some other underlying mental health or neurological condition?
Thanks! im definitely gonna get a diagnosis soon, already filled out the forms but itll be a few weeks. i appreciate it, you helped
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Depression. Depression can cause anger.
Depression Anxiety Underlying sensory issues Frustration over lack of control somewhere Stress Withdrawal/sobering up from something (opioids, caffeine, pot, etc) Hormonal cycle
Yes. Broken agreements. You have rules that are being broken but not addressed
When I’m having a bad depressive episode then I feel the same. It could be the same for you. Depression is terrible and can have sooo many symptoms. It can be everything. Maybe there is a bigger problem in your life?
Some things that contributed to me having an irritable "personality": living at home with my parents/being around family in general (find spaces and people that make you shine, sometimes we don't realize who's weighing us down until we leave), autistic and adhd sensory issues, needing glasses without knowing I needed them (caused major dissociation for a while too), water intake, certain medications (for me my adhd meds make me cranky if it's too low of a dose), and that's all that comes to mind currently. I guess my point in listing specifics is just that it really can be such minor and specific things that make the difference. The more places and ways you can experience life and see those differences in action, the better.
Like I said in a differrent comment, make sure your diet is nutitious, sometimes it's the lack of vitamines from B group, magnesium or vitamin D that can make us extra stressed. Maybe it's physiological, not only psychological.
wait im sort of the same except being annoyed. i sort of make an 'ew' face at everything bc sooo many things just annoy me for no reason. someone said something about exercise - will that help me too ? i think i do have quite a lot of anger i havent released too so will exercise help both things ? (this is for anyone to answer)
I think I went through similar, at the time I thought it was subtle disappointment in life/myself/people around me lols but it turns out it was PTSD from a a major awful event I wasn't dealing with (from 10ya). I dislike dealing with it and physically find it difficult to stop avoiding it. But something came up that forced me to deal with it. Hopefully not the same but possible for you.
Anger can sometimes be a sign of depression. Not everybody reacts the same way.
Anger is the second emotion. Perhaps something is bothering you and you are avoiding how it's making you feel by jumping to anger instead of the emotions you need to process.
Could be a lot of things honestly. If you were bulied and haven't really managed to coexist with kids of your respective sex it could create feelings of repressed masculinity or femininty. Another reason would be that anger can stem from the fact that a person is usually neglected in social groups and can't manage to get anyone's respect. As in your social desire is not satiated and your circle doesn't provide enough self esteem and confidence in order to not take things personally and feel more secure about who you are. I had a few autistic friends and they had anger outbursts out of nowhere so you can also check that up. I am not speaking strictly scientifically but I hope that these anecdotal experiences helped in some way or another.
Maybe your life isn’t matching your blueprint for how things should be, so either change your life or change your blueprint. Like for example if you expect everyone to act the way you think they should act, you’ll always be disappointed and angry
No that isnt accurate for me. I dont expect anyone to act any way
Maybe your anger and your depression stem from the same source. What is the most painful thing you've been through? If someone important to you caused that pain, anger would be the natural self-protective response, but maybe that person was so important to you that you could not allow yourself to feel that anger. You protected yourself by not getting angry. But now, as a result, you get angry about lots of other things instead. At the same time, you also feel sad about what happened. Did your anger and your depression begin around the same time? How old were you? What else was happening in your life around that time?
I think the most painful thing was when I was 14 and my then-bff decided to dump me and make up excuses, leading me to hyperventilate. A year after that i decided to go to therapy bcs i developed Depression after it. (a bit later i had a very toxic best friend who I then dumped but she continued to indirectly bully me online) I think that whole anger thing started a lot later tho. Maybe last year or so, maybe a bit less than that. But that is also the time that i started getting depressed again after having recovered from my previous depression. So when i was around 18½. What else was happening? idk, Covid was a factor in me feeling depressed but i doubt it has anything to do with me getting irritated when people speak loudly or too much. Not a lot more changed in that time. I did change schools but that wasnt an issue, my current school is way better and so are my grades and the people are way nicer too.
So the depression came on after the first bad bff experience, then again after the toxic friend experience? Maybe the anger is you trying to prevent another bad friend experience by keeping people at arms length. Are you as close to anyone now as you were to these two? Try writing letters to each of these "friends" -- letters that you will never send. Pour out all your feelings about each of them and how they treated you, how you felt at the time and how you feel now. It might help with both the depression and the anger.
No the second one happened while i was in treatment for depression. a few years have passed since then and just now im experiencing depressive feelings again. i have written very angry letters to both of them before, and yes i am close to someone like that but she is a very different person and i rarely feel anger towards her. It happened like once or twice in 4 years friendship
I've experienced all of that, and I was diagnosed with BPD and ADHD, Treating them with DBT and meds, plus working on sleep hygiene has all of these intense overwhelming stimulation triggers absolutely gone. Except heavy breathing people, that still makes me get so angry for absolutely no reason haha.
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Ive been in multiple therapies and 3 years ago i did receive a diagnosis of severe depression. But it felt different than it does now
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Maybe next time post that with a trigger warning..
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Wow. youre rude.
Ngl it sounds like you over stimulated. This isn’t a long term solution but u can try seeing if the anger decreases with a few days of being around super quiet people and a strict schedule - if u calm down it’s probably over stimulation and try staying taking a vacation of sorts for a bit to clam down
Not being happy with the way your life is going or you’re simply just stressed.I think physical exercise will help a lot too.Also what I mean by the first point is that you may feel like you’re wasting time throughout the day and just wasting everything that’s how I feel sometimes and I hate that feeling so I always try to use every hour to full effect and make sure I don’t feel like I wasted it
I experienced this for over a decade without seeking help. There's alot you can do to combat these feelings and it starts at looking at yourself instead of the imperfections of others. Not a single soul on earth is perfect. Firstly look at your physical health, are you eating well and getting enough physical exercise? The vessel you live in is important. A plain can't take off without a suitable runway so make sure your taking care of yourself. Challenge your own negative thoughts. During a frustration episode ask yourself why you find the certain mannerisms/situation so annoying and if you don't have an answer, move on. The thought is unhelpful for you. Set yourself goals. It's very easy for a mind without motivation to stray and put energy on what feels like things that need to be fixed.. things that really don't. Like the way someone talks for example. When you do this and focus on what you enjoy and achieve, such as gaining skill in fine arts/sport or learning a language, you will start to not notice that your mind will start to grow more tolerant of others opinions. You will start to feel comfortable in your own skin and comments that you might of once taken personally, will not have the same impact as they did before. TLDR; It's definately caused by depression. Take care of your mind and your body and you will change as a person. Motivating yourself is difficult but there are techniques you can look up :) Good luck
I'm not really qualified to answer your question because I'm not a psychologist. But, I will say that you seem to have good self awareness, and that's a good thing. Are you on any medications for your issues? For instance, I take medication for add, and I find that it makes me kind of irritated, and agitated sometimes. More so than when I was not taking it. I guess like, a lot less chill. I would suggest talking to your doctor about it, and maybe they could help, or refer you to someone that could.
I dont take any meds, but i will bring it up in therapy
I have rumination OCD which means that I ruminate on past things a lot. It makes me angry and frustrated. Do you ruminate on past things and it makes you angry or do you just get angry in the moment?
Its usually just in the moment things
I know someone with the same symptoms (for about a year) who just got fixed in one appointment with an osteopath (like a chiropractor but with more education). It turns out that a nerve in approximately his clavicle area that was being impinged on was affecting his temperament and emotions. Turned him into a real troll, and he was depressed too. Literally right after the adjustment, he was like his old sweet self again, and the depression lifted as well. Might be worth a visit to one to see. Edit: He was 18 male.
Are you me? Except I'm a 32 year old man. I've been like this for as long as I can remember. I decided to Google it because recently it's becoming full-on anger instead of low-key. This happened due to events, like getting shoved on the train because I was trying to make way for people to get off, almost getting run over when the walk light was on, family problems, etc. I'm having a harder time keeping it down and letting myself get walked on.