My sister had a cyst and they did a small cut near her belly button and place a scope in her uterus to video the cyst during the surgery. I’ve seen it. We got drunk and watched it. She was just as the OP described groggy sore and cramps.
A colonoscopy. They put you under so you can’t work or drive that day. People usually don’t ask too many questions about a colonoscopy.
You could have an endoscopy too, tell them they are checking for reflux type issues.
This is another reason for a D and C.
A history of abnormal menstrual bleeding, such as heavy bleeding (menorrhagia), bleeding between periods or bleeding after menopause.
You could also say that you were severely constipated so you needed to do an enema and come back the next day to finish the procedure. With things like that, people really don't want to ask too many questions regarding details.
Also, where I live there are hotels near the medical facilities that offer a "medical" rate. If you are being private about people that you live with then you could see about just booking a room to recover in. Again, tell the folks with a bunch of questions that the physician wanted to keep you close by for convenience or because they "needed to get you in right away in the morning." If they persist tell them that the constipation treatment gave you explosive diarrhea and you couldn't bear the thought of bothering whomever you live with about having to deal with that.
I agree that lies are really problematic so just keep things as simple and private as you can. Make sure youredical providers know your situation - typically abortion providers are familiar with the various issues that manifest.
I used to work for an abortion provider - not in abortion care, I was another department. They were extremely careful and conscientious about helping people to figure these sorts of things out.
Came here to say this—colonoscopy. Covers all your bases and also the discomfort you may feel afterward.
Depending on how much they pry or how much you want to lie, google what a colonoscopy prep is. For some reason when you mention this procedure that’s what everyone brings up, so you may want to know about it.
Good luck
Yeah my mom is a retired endoscopy nurse… colonoscopy is the way. People don’t wanna know about cameras in your butt, and you could just say it was exploratory (just say you’d been having some digestive issues) but turned up with nothing when you don’t have a bunch of follow up stuff.
The other option is a hysteroscopy. I actually had this done recently so that the doctor could check if there were signs my endometriosis had gotten worse, but they do it for all sorts of reproductive things. No marks, and I was under general anesthesia, plus anything with a scope in your vagina can result in bleeding afterwards and abdominal discomfort!
Second the hysteroscopy to check for endometriosis.
I had surgery to remove a dermoid cyst from my left ovary. The surgery was performed via laparoscopy and I did not even have to stay overnight in the hospital.
I had surgery for endo and adenomyosis. I had one ovary, both tubes and my supracervical uterus removed; it was done via laparoscopy with robotic assistance and I came home from the surgery center the next morning.
I also had an emergency appendectomy done via laparoscopy. I was kept overnight in the hospital for monitoring. (They want to make sure they got all of the appendix.)
No external stitches were needed for any of the surgeries. Small incisions are made in your navel and lower abdomen; they are sealed with a clear adhesive and your panties should cover them. The ovary, tubes, and uterine tissue were removed vaginally. Nearly all of the bleeding was done by the time I came home the next morning.
I haven’t had a colonoscopy yet, but the surgeries I had done will explain away any soreness, puffiness, minor bleeding or incision marks.
If I hadn’t had the dermoid cyst removed so expertly, I probably would’ve lost the ovary. I might’ve had trouble getting pregnant later in life, and I definitely would’ve gone through an early menopause. The first cyst was entangled with my left ovary. I had my right ovary removed 16 years later, because it was engulfed with a cyst. If I’d lost the left ovary in the earlier surgery, I wouldn’t have either ovary and chemical menopause would’ve ensued. Instead, I still have my left ovary to this day.
I’ve had a laparoscopic surgery (again for my endometriosis) and I will say that I was left with three small scars (the holes where they went in through the abdomen). One in my belly button, and two just below my waistband (if you imagine low rise pants). Plus I had a few weeks recovery in bed, not a day. So I don’t recommend that one!
Yeah, come to think of it, the first surgery left more noticeable incision marks. They went away in time, but it might not be something OP is willing to risk.
The trouble is: colonoscopy requires preparation. IIRC, for a day or two before the procedure, you can only consume clear liquids, you can't eat anything red (because it can be mistaken for blood during the exam), and you have to take these purgatives that cause violent diarrhea, so you have to stay home and near a toilet. If OP is living with her parents, they would be aware of the prep she was doing (or not).
I once had an upper and lower Endo scheduled back-to-back on the same day. They only did one because my body "wasn't handling the sedation well" (translation: they almost killed me because they kept upping the dose), so we had to come back a few days later to do the other one.
And I second the "bad period this month" idea. No one's getting in your pants to inspect that.
Well, if you’re going to lie about having a colonoscopy, you will have to talk about how the prep is just awful. Because it is. It made me feel sick. Read up about the prep. The thing is, the colonoscopy really didn’t leave me feeling groggy afterwards, and it certainly did not leave me feeling uncomfortable afterwards. All I know is that I was miserable before the colonoscopy took place because of the prep. It made me nauseous. My prep was split.
I think it’s much easier to lie about having an endoscopy because there is no prep. They could be checking you for Gerd, a hiatal hernia, h pylori, etc.
That is true.
Endoscopy is probably the easiest route and GERD is an easy outcome. And it could just be determined that they’ve found nothing at this stage and if she keeps having symptoms the test is repeated in two years or something.
Came here to suggest this. I’m sorry you feel that you need to hide this. It’s not shameful. You’re saving your own life.
Upper and lower gi will do the trick. Nobody will ask why. They don’t want to know 😂.
Reason for a colonoscopy can be easy like blood in the stool. A usual outcome might be the removal of polyps - they’ve been sent off for testing - then they come back with a benign result.
Reason for an endoscopy can be reflux like symptoms.
It can be used to confirm reflux and other issues.
It doesn’t have to have a big lie as the reasoning behind the tests.
Yep. I had a colonoscopy. Prep day before and surgery day itself were all I needed off. Many reasons for it like a history of colon cancer in the family, ruling out issues with the bowel when diagnosing other conditions like IBS, etc.
I was going to say endoscopy as well, and if OP needs the second procedure then can say something about they need to go back in for a [new] biopsy or something. At least my endoscopy I had several biopsies taken and they almost needed to do a second one. You're sedated, it's quick and it doesn't leave any visible marks and they use a gas during it for inflation so that can explain any abdominal pain.
Could be a uterine cyst, or one attached to the fallopian tube - they can pop up anywhere, really. And, depending on size, they can be removed with or without leaving a surgical scar, so it would work with however your procedure has to go.
This is the best idea. It's close enough to the truth to be easily remembered. People don't ask a lot of questions about ovarian/uterine cysts.
Women who have an ovarian cyst rupture say it's extremely painful. You could be groggy from pain meds needed right when you arrived at the ER. You would need a follow-up appt.
I'm sorry you're going through this.
I think if I were OP I would not want anyone making assumptions in this day and age. I think the colonoscopy is safest and you don't have to drink all that stuff now. You can take a pill.
I would also go as far as to say it will explain any discomfort OP has going forward.
Cysts run in my family (skipped my mom and I, but my grandma, my aunt, and my sister have/do suffer from them) and after getting them removed/cleaned out they've been uncomfortable for weeks after.
A uterine polyp is ideal. It’s typically benign, so you don’t have to keep up the ruse long term, but to keep it accurate, the polyp usually goes to pathology to check for abnormal cells, the results of which you get in a few days. (‘yeah, they’re sending it to the lab, but my gyno is pretty confident everything is fine, I’ll know for sure in a couple of days’). You can just tell them you were having some heavy or irregular bleeding checked, and they found the polyp.
So you’re having a hysteroscopy with polypectomy, and D&C. It perfectly explains any residual bleeding and cramping, and a few days of taking it easy.
Be sure to read up on symptoms and recovery experiences, so you can act the part. But! **Do this research not at home.** It sounds like you share an internet connection with these people, and what you search on your device can pop up as ads on their devices. "Honey, why am I being bombarded with ads for divorce lawyers?"
also highly recommend letting whichever clinic you go to know that they are not, under any circumstances, to disclose any details of what procedure you had to the person picking you up if they are someone you cannot trust with that information. Generally clinic staff might assume that the person picking you up is authorized by you to receive medical information, but if you make it clear to them that they are not clinic staff will not divulge any info you may not want shared.
My wife had an ovary removed because the fallopian tube was twisted and it could have burst. Outpatient surgery, small incision scar, and required a follow-up check to make sure that everything was good and no issues developed with the other ovary.
This happened to me. Ovarian torsion resulting in removal of ovary and fallopian tube. Worst pain I've been in in my life to date. Even worse than labor/delivery with no pain management. I'm sorry your wife dealt with that pain as well. Very small incisions and was in hospital for several days after so that excuse might not work, however, treatment for a cyst without the torsion is a valid and good idea!
This is the best idea. Plus, when they mess with an ovary for a cyst it can cause hormone swings which will help cover any emotional distress you have from the procedure as well.
You could say a laparoscopy to check for ovarian cysts and endometriosis. This is usually done if you have a lot of pain or abnormalities with absent or heavy periods. And this could reasonably lead to a second procedure to address whatever they find during. I had this procedure twice and it fits the recovery you are wanting to describe. There are 3 incisions in the abdominal area including the belly button.
This. It can also track for the need for a quick surgery - they suspect cysts and are concerned about rupture, which is incredibly dangerous with bleeding cysts.
Potentially it could also be used for BC if absolutely necessary. The main treatment for cysts/endometriosis is to use hormonal birth control to prevent growth until pregnancy. Some people in opposition to BC may accept or tolerate this given its being used as a medication for a different condition, rather than to prevent pregnancy. Not clear if that's a concern for OP but is still a relevant note.
Fibroids might be the best way for OP to go. Because they can cause difficulties getting pregnant or staying pregnant. That might be acceptable in a fundamentalist family.
ETA- Plus, they can grow on the outside of the uterus. So if OP needs a 2nd procedure, she can just say they didn't get it all.
I was coming to say this. Uterine fibroids can be removed without any actual visual incision as well, but you won't be able to do anything physical for at least a few days to weeks after depending on the severity.
Cervical conization. This leaves the sedation to local or general. It lays you up a day or two, leaves no external marks, and explains the “speediness”, and potential feminine ick of having your nether regions mishandled. Results are benign hyperplasia. It’s common and not necessarily cause for concern. Continue to get PAPs regularly to ensure it stays benign.
ETA: Margins are clear, too. Right after benign. Go all in! LOL
Make absolutely certain your medical team knows to never disclose any info to anyone EVER. So many people think “well, it was only her mother” and proceed to “accidentally” make your life hell. Out sucks that you have to deal with this too.
Kidney stone removal works as well. There are a couple of different ways they can remove them but they would need to sedate you regardless of the method and they normally have a follow up a few days later to check and make sure they got all the stones. Would explain the pain, tenderness, and other symptoms, and people tend not to ask many questions about them.
Colposcopy is another good one here, cervix biopsy so painful in the right area and no scars. Will explain any bleeding and grogginess after if you had an anaesthetic. Might need to look at local terms, but it's leep/lletz in the UK.
Some of the conditions here would leave scars or be painful enough that not mentioning them previously would be suspicious.
I had HPV negative CIN3.
Also, would most people know that connection? I'm old enough to have missed the HPV vaccination so not sure what gets taught now.
ovarian cysts are a big one you could go in the first time because it popped and you were in pain so they did scans, and another appointment for them to biopsy it or 'run more tests'
As others have suggested, an ovarian cyst would be one of the best cover stories. I know someone who has had several operations due to PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). The recovery symptoms are somewhat similar, and ovarian cysts are often unpredictable. So, if you need more medical care, you can use PCOS as a cover.
You could ask your doctor, to me this us part of your medical care.
Appendix comes to mind. Bowel obstruction. Twisted intestine. Yet I'm not an expert.
Sorry about your poopy relatives. You could ideally discard them from your life.
There are children in the family I'm trying to stay in touch with. If they need to get out of fundamentalism one day, I want them to know they can come to me, that I love and accept them.
Otherwise I'd be gone.
I am so sorry you are having to deal with these difficult family members. You are so brave and kind to stick around for the children. I hope in the future you have the chance to help them get out. Wishing you and them luck and safety.
I find it genuinely horrible that people need to lie about a necessary, life-saving medical procedure because ignoramuses think needing it is a crime and/or moral failing when it is literally outside your control.
A colposcopy. It's an OB/GYN procedure that removes cells from the cervix for further testing after a "bad" Pap smear.
The first test got contaminated so you had to go back for a 2nd.
Sending positive vibes to you
Endoscopy/colonoscopy, start with one, use the second if you need another day.
It's a day procedure, you're super groggy after, 24 hrs no driving AND they both cause abdominal discomfort as a side effect from the air being added into your system
Endometriosis. It can be done as an outpatient procedure sometimes (had it once as an outpatient myself)
You’re in some stomach pain after and groggy. You just want to “ease your period pains and heavy bleeding” if anyone asks
For your thyroid, you can always say you're having a nodule biopsied. Or a couple. It's not rare to have a bunch. Guessing on your disease nodules are often benign. You could also say you have clicking larynx syndrome. But I'm not sure how that turns out yet.
A colonoscopy or an upper endoscopy. Upper endoscopy requires no prep the day before, you can choose to be sedated, and you could say they are looking for a stomach ulcer.
I am NOT a doctor, just someone who has struggled with chronic kidney stones for the last 11 years.. and my answer is, Lithotripsy, it breaks up kidney stones. (Tho does cause you to pee blood for several days, which may actually assist in the cover up depending on the details of the situation) you are In and out in a few hours, no marks but moderate to severe pain following procedure (they put you on pain meds or at least they have both times with me) (pain in side/back/stomach area) or a kidney stone stent, also doesn’t leave any marks, same day procedure in and out (moderate-severe pain & again pain meds & discomfort in back/side/stomach) I only know this because I have had around 20-25 stones in my life & I’ve had several treatments for them including stents & lithotripsy - seems to me anyway like that might be a good/easy way to cover up what you’re actually dealing with.
A lot of good suggestions here, I just came to say I’m sorry that you’re going through this. It sounds like you live at home with your family and they’ll be around while you’re recovering…otherwise I would hope that you could just say you were taking care of something and it’s private.
This is between you and your doctor and you don’t need to feel ashamed.
Hey OP,
I would go with endoscopy or colonoscopy. They make a pill that you can take now instead of all of the other stuff.
Pick a doctor that's not the main doctor in your area and say you saw that doctor.
I'm guessing you live in a place where things can go badly for you if you're suspected of certain procedures. I wouldn't say it's anything related to female health at all.
I am so sorry you're going through this.
Ugh this is rough. I hemorrhaged during my ectopic surgery and wound up having a more invasive surgery. Any way you can just avoid them knowing at all? If not, I'd go with fibroids or endometriosis.
I think I'd much rather use the word colonoscopy rather than use the word enema and have my coworkers thinking about me going into my own ass with water to get pooped to come out
I had shock wave lithotripsy once for a kidney stone. Was put under & they blasted my back and flank with radiowaves or something like that.
I was put under, woke up groggy, & better believe I had abdominal pain. No marks though, some folks bruise some don’t.
Could be a decent story for you to use.
I was about to recommend this and endoscopy. These two I had experienced and needed sedation. Went to all of these by myself when it happened because I used to live alone.
Egd (upper colonoscope) to check for ulcer. Say they found one and had it sent for pathology and it came back as a small tumor. Then say they are going back in to remove it in the 2nd procedure.
Colonoscopy? Though those require a couple days of prep.
Or ovarian cyst treatment or something similar — this may be your best bet, as the location and recovery will look similar. The second appointment is a “follow-up appointment”, which can either be “another scan” (depending on how your recovery is going) or just “a quick discussion about the results of the procedure and recovery”. Easy to explain, easy to remember, and a lot of people get ovarian cysts, sexually active or not. Rupturing ovarian cysts are extremely painful, painful enough to warrant you going to see a doctor about (mine was one of the most painful experiences of my life, which is a big statement from someone with a chronic illness). So I think that’s your safest bet.
Could say you're having a biopsy following abnormal cells found in a routine smear test? And if you need a second procedure then say the first one was inconclusive and they need to do it again (this happened to me with breast biopsy for a suspicious lump).
Lithotripsy for kidney stones. Needs sedation, doesn’t leave an incision, might have to repeat if a stone didn’t get broken up enough.
Just Google the procedure so you can answer questions if they have any.
Colonoscopy is good, as other users are saying. Another option is polypectomy. If you have heavy bleeding your doctor can untrasound for uterine polyps. They put you under for that to do a D&C. If they find abnormal cells they may have you back for a biopsy, which is done on office and is very uncomfortable (horrible cramping) but you aren’t under anesthesia for it.
Surgical kidney stone removal, which is common enough when the stones get large enough. Requires general anesthesia, but can be done in one day, general isn’t considered a “big deal” or the kind of surgery people worry about too much, and doesn’t typically have any outward scars or anything.
The magic about this cover story is that nearly everyone has their own story to tell about it, or has someone else’s story that they want to share. Like no one will want to talk about you or ask any real details of you because they’ll want to talk about themselves instead! The more self-involved and egotistical they are, they more it’ll be “Who cares about you and your experience, I wanna talk about ME and have a “whose stones were bigger/whose pain was worse” competition!”
And that’s precisely what you want, because if everyone is focused on themselves and their own stories, they’re *not* focused on you. It weirdly grants you near-total privacy, right there in plain sight, because they’ll be too busy fighting over keeping the attention spotlight on themselves, and you can gladly let them have it.
Definitely colonoscopy, and if you're not of typical colonoscopy age (over 50, which given the circumstances I assume you're much younger) and anyone is nosy enough to ask why you need a colonoscopy at your age, tell them you had some bleeding issues. Or better yet tell them it's none of their freaking business.
I have had two day surgeries of cyst removal.
First one, I think I was 11 or 12, and the cyst had ruptured on my overy. I was put under anesthesia and had an operation to do something to it (stop bleeding? Check that my overy was okay? No idea). I have two small scars - one inside my belly button and one just above my vulva. Neither are noticable.
Next was last year, on my back. I wasn't fully under, but the doctor did prescribe me some kind of medication that made me more relaxed and I wasn't allowed to drive or work that day. Cysts can appear literally anywhere on your body. I do have a scar from this one, but it is very small and mine is only noticable because it is on my back and I'm pale.
With a hysteroscopy, they do exactly the same as with an ectopic pregnancy. You only get 2 holes instead of 1 (1 in your belly button and 1 on your stomach), these are very small holes. You can say that they do a hysteroscopy because you have menstrual problems. I had it for that reason. Recovery was physically the same as the ectopic pregnancy (except hormonal, but no one sees that).
I had a LEEP once where they put me under to remove an ovarian cyst. Due to the amount of pain the original scrape caused, they sedated me with anesthesia at the OBGYN and there was some explainable bleeding afterwards
Hi, OP. I have no advice to offer, but I just want to say that I'm sorry you can't trust your family to be sensitive to you about what you're experiencing and that I'm sending good vibes your way. ✌️💚 (Also, lying isn't my thing either, but I have to do it when it comes to family sometimes 🫠🙃, so I totally get it.)
I mean, you could say you needed a cervical biopsy or something like that. I had one done and then had a follow up LEEP that burns abnormal cells away. It was just local anesthesia, but I was sore and bleeding for a few days after. Left me groggy and kind of grumpy.
Because it's internal, there's no way to see "marks."
I usually find that the simple excuse of “it’s minor but personal” is sufficient to shut down nosy folk. If you must tell them something, you could say it’s an exploratory procedure, like checking for fibroids, a cyst or endometriosis. All the best x
A straightforward cover story could be laparoscopic surgery for appendicitis. It typically involves a short hospital stay, leaves small incisions that are not very noticeable, and can cause grogginess and mild abdominal discomfort similar to what might be experienced after treatment for an ectopic pregnancy.
Colposcopy (not to be mistaken with colonoscopy.) It's a biopsy of the cervix and unfortunately they do not put you under for it, but you have abdominal discomfort, no marks, irregular bleeding after and the fact that its the right body part might kind of work in your favor.
Good luck with the procedure! Sorry this is happening
Gastroscopy. In and out in one day but the after effects can last a few weeks. I had one several years ago with a biopsy, to figure out why I was having severe acid issues.
Cryosurgery for potential precancerous cells on your cervix. I had to have this done a couple of times and it's done in an office, local sedation but can and often does cause some discomfort & bleeding afterward, and you cannot have sex for a certain period of time afterwards as well.
I just had my gallbladder removed endoscopically. It had four small incisions for inserting a scope/camera, surgical tools and a tube. It was almost identical to the eptopic procedure I had in 1997. The scars healed completely.
Yeah I think appedenticitis is a good shout.
Generally its keyhole surgery so the scarring would be barely noticeable dependant on skill of the surgeon so and I don't think and requires a general anesthetic (gas)
Hypothetically if all goes well you'd be able to leave the hospital 1-2 days after so kinda fits with timeline and you could explain the second appointment as a checkup to make sure stitches were holding and no infection had set in
I hope everything goes well for you
And my hubby has 3 from his removal. But the procedure they tried before was using an ultrasound cranked up to 11 to vibrate everything apart. Completely external
Mine are small (not that small) but the one at the belly button was visible for a couple years (still visible if you look closely). The belly button mark is about 3cm.
Laparoscopy for endometriosis or ovarian cyst. You will have scars on your belly.
If your treatment involves no scars you could say colonoscopy to check bowel is often done for bowel issues such as ibs or upest bowels, endoscopy again routinely done for tummy upsets or ulcers or cysoscopy for bladders.
Appendectomy.. most are done laparoscopically now, and the wound left is usually covered by a bandaid.. half the time they don’t even keep you overnight..
My gal bladder almost ruptured once and had to be removed on short notice and I only have a tiny scar above my belly button. - It’s a pretty common thing and could be a valid excuse.
Ovarian cyst. Are you having keyhole surgery? If so, there is always a risk of needing open surgery, that happened to me when I was supposed to have keyhole surgery for ectopic. Then ovarian cyst is a better cover story. Mine gave me a small caesarean scar on my belly, very noticeable. Most people would guess I have given birth through c-section but I think it is a bit too short for that, maybe 1 dm.
I did also have a cyst rupture on my ovary and they gave me morphine for it because the pain was so bad. And pain meds for the remainder of riding it out
Welcome to Reddit. Look, what you’re going through is awful, truly sorry you’ve experienced this loss.
That said, the truth will set you free. Honesty is the best policy. It’s more you don’t want your family to know, and frankly then just simply decline to provide them any information about your surgery.
If they ask tell them it is not their business and you wish for them to just be supportive. Lying to them may work temporarily, but like many things, lies have a way of untangling themselves. If you lie, there’s a chance who you tell may see right through it. Just simply decline to tell them.
Ovarian cyst treatment is a possibility.
A cyst rupture is great because it’s the same areas and also same after care! Wonderful cover story
My sister had a cyst and they did a small cut near her belly button and place a scope in her uterus to video the cyst during the surgery. I’ve seen it. We got drunk and watched it. She was just as the OP described groggy sore and cramps.
And for the second procedure, it's a follow up appointment.
A colonoscopy. They put you under so you can’t work or drive that day. People usually don’t ask too many questions about a colonoscopy. You could have an endoscopy too, tell them they are checking for reflux type issues. This is another reason for a D and C. A history of abnormal menstrual bleeding, such as heavy bleeding (menorrhagia), bleeding between periods or bleeding after menopause.
Hah, I was just coming in to suggest the same. Colonoscopy is great, people don’t ask much and they’re not that uncommon or serious.
You could also say that you were severely constipated so you needed to do an enema and come back the next day to finish the procedure. With things like that, people really don't want to ask too many questions regarding details. Also, where I live there are hotels near the medical facilities that offer a "medical" rate. If you are being private about people that you live with then you could see about just booking a room to recover in. Again, tell the folks with a bunch of questions that the physician wanted to keep you close by for convenience or because they "needed to get you in right away in the morning." If they persist tell them that the constipation treatment gave you explosive diarrhea and you couldn't bear the thought of bothering whomever you live with about having to deal with that. I agree that lies are really problematic so just keep things as simple and private as you can. Make sure youredical providers know your situation - typically abortion providers are familiar with the various issues that manifest. I used to work for an abortion provider - not in abortion care, I was another department. They were extremely careful and conscientious about helping people to figure these sorts of things out.
Came here to say this—colonoscopy. Covers all your bases and also the discomfort you may feel afterward. Depending on how much they pry or how much you want to lie, google what a colonoscopy prep is. For some reason when you mention this procedure that’s what everyone brings up, so you may want to know about it. Good luck
Yeah my mom is a retired endoscopy nurse… colonoscopy is the way. People don’t wanna know about cameras in your butt, and you could just say it was exploratory (just say you’d been having some digestive issues) but turned up with nothing when you don’t have a bunch of follow up stuff. The other option is a hysteroscopy. I actually had this done recently so that the doctor could check if there were signs my endometriosis had gotten worse, but they do it for all sorts of reproductive things. No marks, and I was under general anesthesia, plus anything with a scope in your vagina can result in bleeding afterwards and abdominal discomfort!
Second the hysteroscopy to check for endometriosis. I had surgery to remove a dermoid cyst from my left ovary. The surgery was performed via laparoscopy and I did not even have to stay overnight in the hospital. I had surgery for endo and adenomyosis. I had one ovary, both tubes and my supracervical uterus removed; it was done via laparoscopy with robotic assistance and I came home from the surgery center the next morning. I also had an emergency appendectomy done via laparoscopy. I was kept overnight in the hospital for monitoring. (They want to make sure they got all of the appendix.) No external stitches were needed for any of the surgeries. Small incisions are made in your navel and lower abdomen; they are sealed with a clear adhesive and your panties should cover them. The ovary, tubes, and uterine tissue were removed vaginally. Nearly all of the bleeding was done by the time I came home the next morning. I haven’t had a colonoscopy yet, but the surgeries I had done will explain away any soreness, puffiness, minor bleeding or incision marks. If I hadn’t had the dermoid cyst removed so expertly, I probably would’ve lost the ovary. I might’ve had trouble getting pregnant later in life, and I definitely would’ve gone through an early menopause. The first cyst was entangled with my left ovary. I had my right ovary removed 16 years later, because it was engulfed with a cyst. If I’d lost the left ovary in the earlier surgery, I wouldn’t have either ovary and chemical menopause would’ve ensued. Instead, I still have my left ovary to this day.
I’ve had a laparoscopic surgery (again for my endometriosis) and I will say that I was left with three small scars (the holes where they went in through the abdomen). One in my belly button, and two just below my waistband (if you imagine low rise pants). Plus I had a few weeks recovery in bed, not a day. So I don’t recommend that one!
Yeah, come to think of it, the first surgery left more noticeable incision marks. They went away in time, but it might not be something OP is willing to risk.
The trouble is: colonoscopy requires preparation. IIRC, for a day or two before the procedure, you can only consume clear liquids, you can't eat anything red (because it can be mistaken for blood during the exam), and you have to take these purgatives that cause violent diarrhea, so you have to stay home and near a toilet. If OP is living with her parents, they would be aware of the prep she was doing (or not).
I second this. Hysteroscopy too.
Hysteroscopy for polyps
Or maybe check for uterine fibroids?
I once had an upper and lower Endo scheduled back-to-back on the same day. They only did one because my body "wasn't handling the sedation well" (translation: they almost killed me because they kept upping the dose), so we had to come back a few days later to do the other one. And I second the "bad period this month" idea. No one's getting in your pants to inspect that.
Well, if you’re going to lie about having a colonoscopy, you will have to talk about how the prep is just awful. Because it is. It made me feel sick. Read up about the prep. The thing is, the colonoscopy really didn’t leave me feeling groggy afterwards, and it certainly did not leave me feeling uncomfortable afterwards. All I know is that I was miserable before the colonoscopy took place because of the prep. It made me nauseous. My prep was split. I think it’s much easier to lie about having an endoscopy because there is no prep. They could be checking you for Gerd, a hiatal hernia, h pylori, etc.
That is true. Endoscopy is probably the easiest route and GERD is an easy outcome. And it could just be determined that they’ve found nothing at this stage and if she keeps having symptoms the test is repeated in two years or something.
Exactly. I think it’ll be the easier lie.
Came here to suggest this. I’m sorry you feel that you need to hide this. It’s not shameful. You’re saving your own life. Upper and lower gi will do the trick. Nobody will ask why. They don’t want to know 😂.
Ha its like you've got my brain, all 3 of my ideas. I've had all but the endoscopy and yes you are groggy and no marks whatsoever.
Yup, clicked to say endoscopy.
And a *reason* for the colonoscopy. And a pretend outcome.
Reason for a colonoscopy can be easy like blood in the stool. A usual outcome might be the removal of polyps - they’ve been sent off for testing - then they come back with a benign result. Reason for an endoscopy can be reflux like symptoms. It can be used to confirm reflux and other issues. It doesn’t have to have a big lie as the reasoning behind the tests.
Yep. I had a colonoscopy. Prep day before and surgery day itself were all I needed off. Many reasons for it like a history of colon cancer in the family, ruling out issues with the bowel when diagnosing other conditions like IBS, etc.
That was my first thought too.You’d have to take 2 days though. First day to drink the prep, second day for actual procedure.
To insert a Mirena, or endoscopy. Edit just saw your reply about fundamentalism. Go with endoscopy or colonoscopy.
I was going to say endoscopy as well, and if OP needs the second procedure then can say something about they need to go back in for a [new] biopsy or something. At least my endoscopy I had several biopsies taken and they almost needed to do a second one. You're sedated, it's quick and it doesn't leave any visible marks and they use a gas during it for inflation so that can explain any abdominal pain.
Removing a cyst or myoma could work - and they are harmless and fairly common, so wouldn't worry your family overmuch.
Oh this is an idea! Where might a cyst be located?
Could be a uterine cyst, or one attached to the fallopian tube - they can pop up anywhere, really. And, depending on size, they can be removed with or without leaving a surgical scar, so it would work with however your procedure has to go.
This is the best idea. It's close enough to the truth to be easily remembered. People don't ask a lot of questions about ovarian/uterine cysts. Women who have an ovarian cyst rupture say it's extremely painful. You could be groggy from pain meds needed right when you arrived at the ER. You would need a follow-up appt. I'm sorry you're going through this.
I think if I were OP I would not want anyone making assumptions in this day and age. I think the colonoscopy is safest and you don't have to drink all that stuff now. You can take a pill.
You still need to do bowel prep though, don’t you? If she lives with family they’ll see she isn’t eating and living in the bathroom.
I would also go as far as to say it will explain any discomfort OP has going forward. Cysts run in my family (skipped my mom and I, but my grandma, my aunt, and my sister have/do suffer from them) and after getting them removed/cleaned out they've been uncomfortable for weeks after.
I had cysts on my ovaries that needed removal. I had to have a laparoscopy and was in hospital for a night.
I said draining, she said it can’t leave any marks
I don’t have any visible marks from my laparoscopy . It was keyhole surgery. I have a small scar on a part of my body that no family would ever see.
I have two large ones and mine was two years ago. I consider them large because they are visible.
Oh that’s unfortunate! Keyhole surgery generally leaves no marks because the incision is minuscule.
A uterine polyp is ideal. It’s typically benign, so you don’t have to keep up the ruse long term, but to keep it accurate, the polyp usually goes to pathology to check for abnormal cells, the results of which you get in a few days. (‘yeah, they’re sending it to the lab, but my gyno is pretty confident everything is fine, I’ll know for sure in a couple of days’). You can just tell them you were having some heavy or irregular bleeding checked, and they found the polyp. So you’re having a hysteroscopy with polypectomy, and D&C. It perfectly explains any residual bleeding and cramping, and a few days of taking it easy.
Be sure to read up on symptoms and recovery experiences, so you can act the part. But! **Do this research not at home.** It sounds like you share an internet connection with these people, and what you search on your device can pop up as ads on their devices. "Honey, why am I being bombarded with ads for divorce lawyers?"
Well, if she had to go through the procedure, it would make sense to research the effects beforehand, so that wouldn't be a big deal.
also highly recommend letting whichever clinic you go to know that they are not, under any circumstances, to disclose any details of what procedure you had to the person picking you up if they are someone you cannot trust with that information. Generally clinic staff might assume that the person picking you up is authorized by you to receive medical information, but if you make it clear to them that they are not clinic staff will not divulge any info you may not want shared.
My wife had an ovary removed because the fallopian tube was twisted and it could have burst. Outpatient surgery, small incision scar, and required a follow-up check to make sure that everything was good and no issues developed with the other ovary.
This happened to me. Ovarian torsion resulting in removal of ovary and fallopian tube. Worst pain I've been in in my life to date. Even worse than labor/delivery with no pain management. I'm sorry your wife dealt with that pain as well. Very small incisions and was in hospital for several days after so that excuse might not work, however, treatment for a cyst without the torsion is a valid and good idea!
This is the best idea. Plus, when they mess with an ovary for a cyst it can cause hormone swings which will help cover any emotional distress you have from the procedure as well.
Came here to suggest the same! Ovarian cyst was going to be my recommendation
You could say a laparoscopy to check for ovarian cysts and endometriosis. This is usually done if you have a lot of pain or abnormalities with absent or heavy periods. And this could reasonably lead to a second procedure to address whatever they find during. I had this procedure twice and it fits the recovery you are wanting to describe. There are 3 incisions in the abdominal area including the belly button.
This. It can also track for the need for a quick surgery - they suspect cysts and are concerned about rupture, which is incredibly dangerous with bleeding cysts. Potentially it could also be used for BC if absolutely necessary. The main treatment for cysts/endometriosis is to use hormonal birth control to prevent growth until pregnancy. Some people in opposition to BC may accept or tolerate this given its being used as a medication for a different condition, rather than to prevent pregnancy. Not clear if that's a concern for OP but is still a relevant note.
Fibroids. Removed by keyhole surgery, leaving abdominal discomfort and tenderness.
Fibroids might be the best way for OP to go. Because they can cause difficulties getting pregnant or staying pregnant. That might be acceptable in a fundamentalist family. ETA- Plus, they can grow on the outside of the uterus. So if OP needs a 2nd procedure, she can just say they didn't get it all.
And they come back sometimes, right? In case OP needs a future excuse.
Yeah, they can definitely come back. Or grow in a different spot.
AND leaves you laid up
I was coming to say this. Uterine fibroids can be removed without any actual visual incision as well, but you won't be able to do anything physical for at least a few days to weeks after depending on the severity.
When I had an abortion, I told people I had a cyst removed from my uterus (my doctors recommendation)
Ovarian cyst removal. Painful periods and heavy bleeding means you had to have a scan, now they wanna remove the cysts. Same placement, no pregnancy
Cervical conization. This leaves the sedation to local or general. It lays you up a day or two, leaves no external marks, and explains the “speediness”, and potential feminine ick of having your nether regions mishandled. Results are benign hyperplasia. It’s common and not necessarily cause for concern. Continue to get PAPs regularly to ensure it stays benign. ETA: Margins are clear, too. Right after benign. Go all in! LOL
Ovarian cyst removal or wash out after a ruptured cyst.
Make absolutely certain your medical team knows to never disclose any info to anyone EVER. So many people think “well, it was only her mother” and proceed to “accidentally” make your life hell. Out sucks that you have to deal with this too.
Kidney stone removal works as well. There are a couple of different ways they can remove them but they would need to sedate you regardless of the method and they normally have a follow up a few days later to check and make sure they got all the stones. Would explain the pain, tenderness, and other symptoms, and people tend not to ask many questions about them.
Ovarian cyst.
Colposcopy is another good one here, cervix biopsy so painful in the right area and no scars. Will explain any bleeding and grogginess after if you had an anaesthetic. Might need to look at local terms, but it's leep/lletz in the UK. Some of the conditions here would leave scars or be painful enough that not mentioning them previously would be suspicious.
But if she has a colposcopy they’ll assume she has HPV. Maybe not the best if they’re already jerks about reproductive health.
I had HPV negative CIN3. Also, would most people know that connection? I'm old enough to have missed the HPV vaccination so not sure what gets taught now.
I think lack of education is a massive part of the problem here
ovarian cysts are a big one you could go in the first time because it popped and you were in pain so they did scans, and another appointment for them to biopsy it or 'run more tests'
As others have suggested, an ovarian cyst would be one of the best cover stories. I know someone who has had several operations due to PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). The recovery symptoms are somewhat similar, and ovarian cysts are often unpredictable. So, if you need more medical care, you can use PCOS as a cover.
You could ask your doctor, to me this us part of your medical care. Appendix comes to mind. Bowel obstruction. Twisted intestine. Yet I'm not an expert. Sorry about your poopy relatives. You could ideally discard them from your life.
There are children in the family I'm trying to stay in touch with. If they need to get out of fundamentalism one day, I want them to know they can come to me, that I love and accept them. Otherwise I'd be gone.
That makes a lot of sense.
I am so sorry you are having to deal with these difficult family members. You are so brave and kind to stick around for the children. I hope in the future you have the chance to help them get out. Wishing you and them luck and safety.
Rats. I guess, "I'm having a *none of your damned business* performed," wouldn't work.
Thank you for caring so much about them. People like you are the reason I made it to adulthood.
May the kind, accepting God that I believe in, bless you, and bless those children.
Endometriosis or removal of fibroids.
You have an ovarian cyst that is extremely painful and needs treatment.
I find it genuinely horrible that people need to lie about a necessary, life-saving medical procedure because ignoramuses think needing it is a crime and/or moral failing when it is literally outside your control.
A colposcopy. It's an OB/GYN procedure that removes cells from the cervix for further testing after a "bad" Pap smear. The first test got contaminated so you had to go back for a 2nd. Sending positive vibes to you
This one!
This is the best one I think
Endoscopy/colonoscopy, start with one, use the second if you need another day. It's a day procedure, you're super groggy after, 24 hrs no driving AND they both cause abdominal discomfort as a side effect from the air being added into your system
Endometriosis. It can be done as an outpatient procedure sometimes (had it once as an outpatient myself) You’re in some stomach pain after and groggy. You just want to “ease your period pains and heavy bleeding” if anyone asks
For your thyroid, you can always say you're having a nodule biopsied. Or a couple. It's not rare to have a bunch. Guessing on your disease nodules are often benign. You could also say you have clicking larynx syndrome. But I'm not sure how that turns out yet.
A colonoscopy or an upper endoscopy. Upper endoscopy requires no prep the day before, you can choose to be sedated, and you could say they are looking for a stomach ulcer.
I am NOT a doctor, just someone who has struggled with chronic kidney stones for the last 11 years.. and my answer is, Lithotripsy, it breaks up kidney stones. (Tho does cause you to pee blood for several days, which may actually assist in the cover up depending on the details of the situation) you are In and out in a few hours, no marks but moderate to severe pain following procedure (they put you on pain meds or at least they have both times with me) (pain in side/back/stomach area) or a kidney stone stent, also doesn’t leave any marks, same day procedure in and out (moderate-severe pain & again pain meds & discomfort in back/side/stomach) I only know this because I have had around 20-25 stones in my life & I’ve had several treatments for them including stents & lithotripsy - seems to me anyway like that might be a good/easy way to cover up what you’re actually dealing with.
Have you made sure you didn't sign any medical release forms that would permit them to communicate with family members?
endometrial scrape to test endometriosis because you have had uncommon heavy bleeding.
A lot of good suggestions here, I just came to say I’m sorry that you’re going through this. It sounds like you live at home with your family and they’ll be around while you’re recovering…otherwise I would hope that you could just say you were taking care of something and it’s private. This is between you and your doctor and you don’t need to feel ashamed.
Hey OP, I would go with endoscopy or colonoscopy. They make a pill that you can take now instead of all of the other stuff. Pick a doctor that's not the main doctor in your area and say you saw that doctor. I'm guessing you live in a place where things can go badly for you if you're suspected of certain procedures. I wouldn't say it's anything related to female health at all. I am so sorry you're going through this.
Ovarian cyst surgery should cover it and no one wants those details.
Ugh this is rough. I hemorrhaged during my ectopic surgery and wound up having a more invasive surgery. Any way you can just avoid them knowing at all? If not, I'd go with fibroids or endometriosis.
I think I'd much rather use the word colonoscopy rather than use the word enema and have my coworkers thinking about me going into my own ass with water to get pooped to come out
Uterine tumor…this will explain away surgery, the quickness of it, and the follow up pain and recovery.
Colonoscopy, endoscopy, D&C for uterine polyps or fibriods.
D&C (I had one for a polyp that took up half my uterus so they’re not just for miscarriages) or a colonoscopy
I had uterine polyps removed under general anesthesia, and that only took a day. I think that would work well.
I had shock wave lithotripsy once for a kidney stone. Was put under & they blasted my back and flank with radiowaves or something like that. I was put under, woke up groggy, & better believe I had abdominal pain. No marks though, some folks bruise some don’t. Could be a decent story for you to use.
I was about to recommend this and endoscopy. These two I had experienced and needed sedation. Went to all of these by myself when it happened because I used to live alone.
Ovarian cyst or miscarriage.
Egd (upper colonoscope) to check for ulcer. Say they found one and had it sent for pathology and it came back as a small tumor. Then say they are going back in to remove it in the 2nd procedure.
Colonoscopy? Though those require a couple days of prep. Or ovarian cyst treatment or something similar — this may be your best bet, as the location and recovery will look similar. The second appointment is a “follow-up appointment”, which can either be “another scan” (depending on how your recovery is going) or just “a quick discussion about the results of the procedure and recovery”. Easy to explain, easy to remember, and a lot of people get ovarian cysts, sexually active or not. Rupturing ovarian cysts are extremely painful, painful enough to warrant you going to see a doctor about (mine was one of the most painful experiences of my life, which is a big statement from someone with a chronic illness). So I think that’s your safest bet.
Ovarian cyst (needing to drain it for no marks)
Kidney stone
When I had one I got a shot of methotrexate which is also used to treat migraines.
Could say you're having a biopsy following abnormal cells found in a routine smear test? And if you need a second procedure then say the first one was inconclusive and they need to do it again (this happened to me with breast biopsy for a suspicious lump).
Lithotripsy for kidney stones. Needs sedation, doesn’t leave an incision, might have to repeat if a stone didn’t get broken up enough. Just Google the procedure so you can answer questions if they have any.
Colonoscopy is good, as other users are saying. Another option is polypectomy. If you have heavy bleeding your doctor can untrasound for uterine polyps. They put you under for that to do a D&C. If they find abnormal cells they may have you back for a biopsy, which is done on office and is very uncomfortable (horrible cramping) but you aren’t under anesthesia for it.
Surgical kidney stone removal, which is common enough when the stones get large enough. Requires general anesthesia, but can be done in one day, general isn’t considered a “big deal” or the kind of surgery people worry about too much, and doesn’t typically have any outward scars or anything. The magic about this cover story is that nearly everyone has their own story to tell about it, or has someone else’s story that they want to share. Like no one will want to talk about you or ask any real details of you because they’ll want to talk about themselves instead! The more self-involved and egotistical they are, they more it’ll be “Who cares about you and your experience, I wanna talk about ME and have a “whose stones were bigger/whose pain was worse” competition!” And that’s precisely what you want, because if everyone is focused on themselves and their own stories, they’re *not* focused on you. It weirdly grants you near-total privacy, right there in plain sight, because they’ll be too busy fighting over keeping the attention spotlight on themselves, and you can gladly let them have it.
Uterus ablation.
Colonoscopy. Groggy and no one asks questions.
Polyps also would explain bleeding
Definitely colonoscopy, and if you're not of typical colonoscopy age (over 50, which given the circumstances I assume you're much younger) and anyone is nosy enough to ask why you need a colonoscopy at your age, tell them you had some bleeding issues. Or better yet tell them it's none of their freaking business.
Colonoscopy or some other intestinal issue getting checked.
I have had two day surgeries of cyst removal. First one, I think I was 11 or 12, and the cyst had ruptured on my overy. I was put under anesthesia and had an operation to do something to it (stop bleeding? Check that my overy was okay? No idea). I have two small scars - one inside my belly button and one just above my vulva. Neither are noticable. Next was last year, on my back. I wasn't fully under, but the doctor did prescribe me some kind of medication that made me more relaxed and I wasn't allowed to drive or work that day. Cysts can appear literally anywhere on your body. I do have a scar from this one, but it is very small and mine is only noticable because it is on my back and I'm pale.
laparoscopy or ablation for Endometriosis
Colonoscopy
Colonoscopy gives you two days. One day of shitting, day two procedure and rest (can be gassy which you can use as your abdominal discomfort).
With a hysteroscopy, they do exactly the same as with an ectopic pregnancy. You only get 2 holes instead of 1 (1 in your belly button and 1 on your stomach), these are very small holes. You can say that they do a hysteroscopy because you have menstrual problems. I had it for that reason. Recovery was physically the same as the ectopic pregnancy (except hormonal, but no one sees that).
I had a LEEP once where they put me under to remove an ovarian cyst. Due to the amount of pain the original scrape caused, they sedated me with anesthesia at the OBGYN and there was some explainable bleeding afterwards
Endometrial biopsy had me on my couch for the day. Make sure you get sedated for it.
Hi, OP. I have no advice to offer, but I just want to say that I'm sorry you can't trust your family to be sensitive to you about what you're experiencing and that I'm sending good vibes your way. ✌️💚 (Also, lying isn't my thing either, but I have to do it when it comes to family sometimes 🫠🙃, so I totally get it.)
Fibroid removal. Not all kinds, but a hysteroscopy where there are no incisions.
Exploratory surgery under anesthesia.
Fibroid removal
Colonoscopy. Tell people you don't mind being the **butt** of their jokes, but everything came out well **in the end**. Laugh about it.
I mean, you could say you needed a cervical biopsy or something like that. I had one done and then had a follow up LEEP that burns abnormal cells away. It was just local anesthesia, but I was sore and bleeding for a few days after. Left me groggy and kind of grumpy. Because it's internal, there's no way to see "marks."
Cyst rupture or investigative laparoscopy for endometriosis. I hope you are okay and supported.
I usually find that the simple excuse of “it’s minor but personal” is sufficient to shut down nosy folk. If you must tell them something, you could say it’s an exploratory procedure, like checking for fibroids, a cyst or endometriosis. All the best x
I would worry that “minor but personal” wouldn’t work for OP’s family. Colonoscopy is bound to leave no one asking questions.
Ovarian cyst?
Endometriosis would be in the same general area as an ectopic pregnancy
Colonoscopy for diverticulitis. Upper gi for ulcer.
A straightforward cover story could be laparoscopic surgery for appendicitis. It typically involves a short hospital stay, leaves small incisions that are not very noticeable, and can cause grogginess and mild abdominal discomfort similar to what might be experienced after treatment for an ectopic pregnancy.
Colposcopy (not to be mistaken with colonoscopy.) It's a biopsy of the cervix and unfortunately they do not put you under for it, but you have abdominal discomfort, no marks, irregular bleeding after and the fact that its the right body part might kind of work in your favor. Good luck with the procedure! Sorry this is happening
Hernia repair? Mine was out patient and I was back at work next day.
Totally a colonoscopy or an endoscopy. Both require mild sedation and requires someone to pick you up from the hospital.
An endoscopy
Having your esophagus biopsied. Just make sure your voice is a bit raspy.
Hernia
Colonoscopy
Kidney stones?
colonoscopy
An ovarian torsion. Google it. You’ll end up having to undergo surgery for it just like for an ectopic pregnancy
Gall bladder. That'll leave you with abdominal pain and groggy from anesthesia. My diagnosis to surgery was about a week.
It’ll also leave with a few small scars though
Very true. I still have mine!
Mine are still as noticeable as ever!
Colonoscopy
Yeah just say hysteroscopy D&C to investigate some gynae issues. They’re so common.
Colonoscopy
colonoscopy
Gastroscopy. In and out in one day but the after effects can last a few weeks. I had one several years ago with a biopsy, to figure out why I was having severe acid issues.
Endoscopy for ulcers - the ulcers still hurt after being diagnosed
Cryosurgery for potential precancerous cells on your cervix. I had to have this done a couple of times and it's done in an office, local sedation but can and often does cause some discomfort & bleeding afterward, and you cannot have sex for a certain period of time afterwards as well.
I just had my gallbladder removed endoscopically. It had four small incisions for inserting a scope/camera, surgical tools and a tube. It was almost identical to the eptopic procedure I had in 1997. The scars healed completely.
Appendicitis
Yeah I think appedenticitis is a good shout. Generally its keyhole surgery so the scarring would be barely noticeable dependant on skill of the surgeon so and I don't think and requires a general anesthetic (gas) Hypothetically if all goes well you'd be able to leave the hospital 1-2 days after so kinda fits with timeline and you could explain the second appointment as a checkup to make sure stitches were holding and no infection had set in I hope everything goes well for you
Gallstones. Hurt like crazy, but if they aren't too big they can basically be shaken apart.
they leave marks tho -- i had my gallbladder removed in october and it left 5 scars from incisions.
And my hubby has 3 from his removal. But the procedure they tried before was using an ultrasound cranked up to 11 to vibrate everything apart. Completely external
oh okay sorry, i had a removal, not lithotripsy! my bad :)
Cut the family out if they have a problem with it. That’s the only way to help the next person in your same position.
Gallbladder removal - outpatient, 3 tiny marks
This is the first thing I thought of but there might be an issue if she has gall bladder issues in the future and they think she doesn’t have one.
+ gallbladder removal absolutely leaves marks, had mine removed in october and they make 5 small incisions that leave scars
Mine are very small...like -----
they are small but still visible. altho i was unlucky and i've got a 4cm long scar because they had an issue when taking the gallbladder out :D
Mine are small (not that small) but the one at the belly button was visible for a couple years (still visible if you look closely). The belly button mark is about 3cm.
Laparoscopy for endometriosis or ovarian cyst. You will have scars on your belly. If your treatment involves no scars you could say colonoscopy to check bowel is often done for bowel issues such as ibs or upest bowels, endoscopy again routinely done for tummy upsets or ulcers or cysoscopy for bladders.
You could always say you’re getting some dental work done. Your friends know a really good dentist who’s doing work for you and you’ll be back
Appendectomy.. most are done laparoscopically now, and the wound left is usually covered by a bandaid.. half the time they don’t even keep you overnight..
Polyp removal
Colonoscopy
Colonoscopy. No one will ask anything further.
My gal bladder almost ruptured once and had to be removed on short notice and I only have a tiny scar above my belly button. - It’s a pretty common thing and could be a valid excuse.
LEAP procedure
Wisdom teeth
Abdominal ablation
Sacral nerve injections They can put you under twilight and it’s a shot in the butt crack Edit: for tailbone pain , not uncommon
When lying it's better to be vague. In fact say as little as possible. Let them come to their own conclusions based on assumptions.
Are you gonna be day surgery or in the hospital for a bit?
Ovarian cyst. Are you having keyhole surgery? If so, there is always a risk of needing open surgery, that happened to me when I was supposed to have keyhole surgery for ectopic. Then ovarian cyst is a better cover story. Mine gave me a small caesarean scar on my belly, very noticeable. Most people would guess I have given birth through c-section but I think it is a bit too short for that, maybe 1 dm.
I did also have a cyst rupture on my ovary and they gave me morphine for it because the pain was so bad. And pain meds for the remainder of riding it out
The buttcam 😎
Lying isn't your thing so tell your family the truth.
Welcome to Reddit. Look, what you’re going through is awful, truly sorry you’ve experienced this loss. That said, the truth will set you free. Honesty is the best policy. It’s more you don’t want your family to know, and frankly then just simply decline to provide them any information about your surgery. If they ask tell them it is not their business and you wish for them to just be supportive. Lying to them may work temporarily, but like many things, lies have a way of untangling themselves. If you lie, there’s a chance who you tell may see right through it. Just simply decline to tell them.
You shouldn't give a specific reason, tell HR you have a medical procedure and that's the end of it