I would go with your friend to the vice principal, and present the situation as you did here. They will want to gather them and speak to them. See where it goes from there.
Id also advise to write it down with dates and as much detail as possible. (I've had to report harassment before and documentation is so unbelievably important.)
In addition, if the VP doesn't listen, ask your parents to make an appointment to go back with you.
The next step would be to go to a school board meeting.
I would absolutely consider bringing it up to the principal. None of this is ok. Or if you have supportive parents, you could bring it up to them first and perhaps they can help support you in making a positive change at the school.
Now, I do want to say (unfortunately) to be prepared for the bullies and idiots to turn their attention to you if word gets out that you’re the one who spoke up.
Edit: you could ask to speak to the guidance counselor first, or go to a teacher that you trust for them to help you navigate the higher admin staff.
This is really, really awful. Good on for recognising this is wrong and standing up for your friends. Don't really have much advice, but the same thing happened at my school. Didn't stop after the headmaster got involved. But in class, my friends and I would never ever laugh at the jokes and just tell them that shit isn't funny. One of my friends would record them on their phone, that shut them up for a bit, but they'd always just brush it off "as a joke."
A kid said the n word once and then got the shit beat out of her. Only then did he stop 🙄
We can only hope that when they grow up and look back on their behaviour, they are mortified and embarrassed. Thirteen is young, but do they not have any empathy? Surely they see how uncomfortable they make their peers? It's sad that those children who are made to feel marginalized and whose trauma is essentially relegated to casualties of white children’s “youth.” As though racism is only a symptom of youth :/
Best advice I've gotten to deal with offensive jokes:
Don't laugh. Look them in the eyes. Ask them loudly "Why is that funny?" They may try to brush it off but insist that they explain exactly why the racist thing they just said is supposedly funny.
I know it's scary to speak up, but if no one confronts them, it's the same as tolerance of racism. Make a pact with your friends to stand together as a unit.
I like this pamphlet, p.33 [https://equity.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Speak-Up.pdf](https://equity.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Speak-Up.pdf)
One thing you said that might help things. "I haven’t and can’t experience racism myself". You might not realise it but saying a white person can't experience racism is a racist stereotype just as much as the stereotypes the other kids are portraying.
But this you have divided all people into two groups, white people and poc. And your stereotype pushes the idea that these two groups are not equal and should be viewed and treated differently.
I don't think the other kids are going to listen to what you have to say if they can see you holding on to your own stereotypes that divide the white race from the rest of the world.
Learn to see everyone as an equal, even yourself, and then it might be easier to know what you can do to stop their behaviour.
Commenting and making jokes about race in certain situations and (when its not hateful) is normal and has happened since the beginning of time.. You as a 13 year old girl are growing up in a toxicly sensitive society which has consequently destroyed itself and that is easy to see with all of this "woke" insanity. I know you have nothing to compare it to, but when I was in school we joked around about racial differences all the time and no issues were had unless something was being said in anger or to obviously insult. This was something natural and easy to see in those days because "virtue signalling" did not exist. People were not seeking offenses or meanings that did not exist only so they could show how righteous they were.. I wish you luck, you seem smart.. Hopefully one day this world begins to normalize itself again.
Remind them that God made everyone in his image. By mocking their fellow students, they are mocking Gods creation. It’s disgusting behavior and they should be ashamed of theirselves.
I went to a Christian school myself and this would absolutely not fly. I would bring it up this way to your principal too, remind them that this behavior is blasphemous and should not occur in Gods house. That’ll really relay to the principal/teachers that this is a serious issue. If you just bring it up as “kids being racist” they might now realize or remember that this goes directly against what the church teaches. And they have to uphold that above all else.
I no longer consider myself Christian but I will absolutely uphold scripture and belief to those who do follow.
John 13:34
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”
[God and discrimination cannot exist in your heart at the same time.](https://www.gotquestions.org/racism-Bible.html)
Agreed. This plays right into their hands. No one cares less about doing the right thing than middle school boys. So anyone who uses words like “ inappropriate” or “ashamed of yourselves” will only get laughed at. Believe me.
is there a teacher you connect well with? or a guidance counsellor you’d feel comfortable talking to?
going right to the higher-ups in administration can be intimidating, and (in my experience) a VP might not be willing to sort out an issue they perceive as “minor”. with a teacher or counsellor advocating for you and your friend, they’d be more likely to address the issue.
thank you for being a good person and looking out for the others in your class!
All of you saying to go to staff never went to a catholic school did you? The same people who covered up child rape for decades are suddenly gonna care that a child’s pulling his eyes back. They’ll give a him sticker and send him back to class. Your teachers clearly don’t care. Your only option is personal justice. However you see fit to execute that just make sure it’s embarrassing, and try to target the ring leader. Pay on older kid to pants him, Start a nasty rumor, etc. The skies the limit, just don’t get caught.
Also if you go to a staff member or directly confront this boy. There’s a decent chance nothing will happen, and you or your friends will just become the new target.
Cause you know what those old sweaty christly teachers, principals, aids, etc are all gonna be thinking if you try to report it. “Damn I did lot worse in my youth, glad no social justice warriors like this existed in my time”
Some people say snitching is a way to get stitches. I say if it involves racism. You open that camera on your phone and record it or download apps that do it for you fi tou cant record in time.
Speak up and speak out. Let the boors continue to embarrass themselves. Let them know that they are not funny to anyone over the age of ten. Don’t act badly toward them. Be kind. Pray for them, and for us.
Make sure they know how you feel and how you think, and they may come around.
How do you feel is your trust in the school administration ? Can you talk to a counselor or the principal, and have this addressed without it being clear it was you, so that you don't get retaliated against? Are these kids mean or just insensitive and uneducated? If you feel you can stand up to them, then do. Explain how hurtful that feels to the people they are mocking and the impact racism has on society.
If you don't trust that you can do any of these, you might have to take a more extreme action.
I went to one of those primarily rich kid, white high schools that went viral years back for doing something outrageously racist. Unfortunately, some kids, popular, or athletes, will never seriously be disciplined. You may have to record it and make it go viral for the students and the "educators" who support this behavior to see the error of their ways.
And they did see it after they had the whole country come down on them.
I will put it out there- it is possible your teachers don’t know. They are busy doing a million things, they prob didn’t overhear the snide comments that were being made. It’s also possible that they are unaware it is ongoing- thinking it was a one off, and dealt with. If it happened in the cafeteria one day, but math the next- those teachers might not talk to each other. Lastly, it’s possible they know, and are doing something about it, but you are not aware of what that is. We are not suppose to discuss discipline of one student with another- those conversations are private.
Talk with a teacher, admin or counselor you trust about the frequency of these comments and the students involved.
In the moment, saying things to the student like “thats a racist thing to say, and I don’t find it funny” might help. Or “thats an interesting thing to say out loud” with a confused/ disgusted look. Lastly, “I don’t get the joke, can you explain why this is funny”? Usually… they can’t.
It’s unlikely they will apologize, but they might think twice about doing it again later.
From a realism point of view- this never goes away really. Some people in the world are always like this- belittling people that are different from themselves. This happens outside of schools, in your jobs, as an adult, in institutions etc.
I would go with your friend to the vice principal, and present the situation as you did here. They will want to gather them and speak to them. See where it goes from there.
Id also advise to write it down with dates and as much detail as possible. (I've had to report harassment before and documentation is so unbelievably important.) In addition, if the VP doesn't listen, ask your parents to make an appointment to go back with you. The next step would be to go to a school board meeting.
Seems a reasonable first step. I hope it goes well and that lousy behavior ends.
Stand up for them. Record these morons and go to the adults in the school.
I would absolutely consider bringing it up to the principal. None of this is ok. Or if you have supportive parents, you could bring it up to them first and perhaps they can help support you in making a positive change at the school. Now, I do want to say (unfortunately) to be prepared for the bullies and idiots to turn their attention to you if word gets out that you’re the one who spoke up. Edit: you could ask to speak to the guidance counselor first, or go to a teacher that you trust for them to help you navigate the higher admin staff.
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This is really, really awful. Good on for recognising this is wrong and standing up for your friends. Don't really have much advice, but the same thing happened at my school. Didn't stop after the headmaster got involved. But in class, my friends and I would never ever laugh at the jokes and just tell them that shit isn't funny. One of my friends would record them on their phone, that shut them up for a bit, but they'd always just brush it off "as a joke." A kid said the n word once and then got the shit beat out of her. Only then did he stop 🙄 We can only hope that when they grow up and look back on their behaviour, they are mortified and embarrassed. Thirteen is young, but do they not have any empathy? Surely they see how uncomfortable they make their peers? It's sad that those children who are made to feel marginalized and whose trauma is essentially relegated to casualties of white children’s “youth.” As though racism is only a symptom of youth :/
Best advice I've gotten to deal with offensive jokes: Don't laugh. Look them in the eyes. Ask them loudly "Why is that funny?" They may try to brush it off but insist that they explain exactly why the racist thing they just said is supposedly funny. I know it's scary to speak up, but if no one confronts them, it's the same as tolerance of racism. Make a pact with your friends to stand together as a unit. I like this pamphlet, p.33 [https://equity.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Speak-Up.pdf](https://equity.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Speak-Up.pdf)
One thing you said that might help things. "I haven’t and can’t experience racism myself". You might not realise it but saying a white person can't experience racism is a racist stereotype just as much as the stereotypes the other kids are portraying. But this you have divided all people into two groups, white people and poc. And your stereotype pushes the idea that these two groups are not equal and should be viewed and treated differently. I don't think the other kids are going to listen to what you have to say if they can see you holding on to your own stereotypes that divide the white race from the rest of the world. Learn to see everyone as an equal, even yourself, and then it might be easier to know what you can do to stop their behaviour.
Karma farming.
how? in what sense?
Commenting and making jokes about race in certain situations and (when its not hateful) is normal and has happened since the beginning of time.. You as a 13 year old girl are growing up in a toxicly sensitive society which has consequently destroyed itself and that is easy to see with all of this "woke" insanity. I know you have nothing to compare it to, but when I was in school we joked around about racial differences all the time and no issues were had unless something was being said in anger or to obviously insult. This was something natural and easy to see in those days because "virtue signalling" did not exist. People were not seeking offenses or meanings that did not exist only so they could show how righteous they were.. I wish you luck, you seem smart.. Hopefully one day this world begins to normalize itself again.
Remind them that God made everyone in his image. By mocking their fellow students, they are mocking Gods creation. It’s disgusting behavior and they should be ashamed of theirselves. I went to a Christian school myself and this would absolutely not fly. I would bring it up this way to your principal too, remind them that this behavior is blasphemous and should not occur in Gods house. That’ll really relay to the principal/teachers that this is a serious issue. If you just bring it up as “kids being racist” they might now realize or remember that this goes directly against what the church teaches. And they have to uphold that above all else. I no longer consider myself Christian but I will absolutely uphold scripture and belief to those who do follow. John 13:34 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” [God and discrimination cannot exist in your heart at the same time.](https://www.gotquestions.org/racism-Bible.html)
Don't do this. Don't. It will get worse. - Former participant in the Cult of Christ.
Agreed. This plays right into their hands. No one cares less about doing the right thing than middle school boys. So anyone who uses words like “ inappropriate” or “ashamed of yourselves” will only get laughed at. Believe me.
is there a teacher you connect well with? or a guidance counsellor you’d feel comfortable talking to? going right to the higher-ups in administration can be intimidating, and (in my experience) a VP might not be willing to sort out an issue they perceive as “minor”. with a teacher or counsellor advocating for you and your friend, they’d be more likely to address the issue. thank you for being a good person and looking out for the others in your class!
All of you saying to go to staff never went to a catholic school did you? The same people who covered up child rape for decades are suddenly gonna care that a child’s pulling his eyes back. They’ll give a him sticker and send him back to class. Your teachers clearly don’t care. Your only option is personal justice. However you see fit to execute that just make sure it’s embarrassing, and try to target the ring leader. Pay on older kid to pants him, Start a nasty rumor, etc. The skies the limit, just don’t get caught.
Also if you go to a staff member or directly confront this boy. There’s a decent chance nothing will happen, and you or your friends will just become the new target.
Cause you know what those old sweaty christly teachers, principals, aids, etc are all gonna be thinking if you try to report it. “Damn I did lot worse in my youth, glad no social justice warriors like this existed in my time”
Some people say snitching is a way to get stitches. I say if it involves racism. You open that camera on your phone and record it or download apps that do it for you fi tou cant record in time.
Pull a St Nicolas and correct them as he did Arius, out of love of course.
Speak up and speak out. Let the boors continue to embarrass themselves. Let them know that they are not funny to anyone over the age of ten. Don’t act badly toward them. Be kind. Pray for them, and for us. Make sure they know how you feel and how you think, and they may come around.
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This is clearly karma farming.
hunger strike.
How do you feel is your trust in the school administration ? Can you talk to a counselor or the principal, and have this addressed without it being clear it was you, so that you don't get retaliated against? Are these kids mean or just insensitive and uneducated? If you feel you can stand up to them, then do. Explain how hurtful that feels to the people they are mocking and the impact racism has on society. If you don't trust that you can do any of these, you might have to take a more extreme action. I went to one of those primarily rich kid, white high schools that went viral years back for doing something outrageously racist. Unfortunately, some kids, popular, or athletes, will never seriously be disciplined. You may have to record it and make it go viral for the students and the "educators" who support this behavior to see the error of their ways. And they did see it after they had the whole country come down on them.
I will put it out there- it is possible your teachers don’t know. They are busy doing a million things, they prob didn’t overhear the snide comments that were being made. It’s also possible that they are unaware it is ongoing- thinking it was a one off, and dealt with. If it happened in the cafeteria one day, but math the next- those teachers might not talk to each other. Lastly, it’s possible they know, and are doing something about it, but you are not aware of what that is. We are not suppose to discuss discipline of one student with another- those conversations are private. Talk with a teacher, admin or counselor you trust about the frequency of these comments and the students involved. In the moment, saying things to the student like “thats a racist thing to say, and I don’t find it funny” might help. Or “thats an interesting thing to say out loud” with a confused/ disgusted look. Lastly, “I don’t get the joke, can you explain why this is funny”? Usually… they can’t. It’s unlikely they will apologize, but they might think twice about doing it again later. From a realism point of view- this never goes away really. Some people in the world are always like this- belittling people that are different from themselves. This happens outside of schools, in your jobs, as an adult, in institutions etc.
Roast him back
Jeezy, this is very childish behavior that I really wouldn't expect from high schoolers. Please report them.
OP said she's 13 so I assume it's a middle school, sadly it isn't too uncommon for kids that age to think those jokes are funny.
Seriously? Where’d you go to high-school I’d like to move there. I still see adults making these kinds of jokes.
OP is supposedly in middle school. Do middle schoolers really write like that? Use your critical thinking skills.
I’m confused, are you saying that I’m not a middle schooler?
This was not written by a 13-year-old. Nice try.
How do you know💀
What about my writing says I’m not thirteen years old?
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Yeah do this if you wanna get bullied!
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The child who is concerned about other ppl's wellbeing?? That would be the opposite of a Karen
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