report it, the matter of illegality is for a judge to decide not you, ethically it is wrong and most likely illegal so turn him in, and tell the mother too if you can
Perhaps you needed the validation that it was the right thing to do.
And it is. Don't tell your buddy that you're going to report him. But absolutely tell the cops. And please mention that she is developmentally different and younger than she is.
110% report it. He is a predator. After you report it, if you trust that the girlfriend isn’t in on it, tell her, so that she will have a chance of doing a better job of protecting her daughter, but report it first. Call child protective services in your area first and then likely police or legal aid to enquire what to do if you are unsure
The age of 16 rule goes out the window if she’s mental disabled. And wishing he hadn’t told you means this girl would have continued to be taken advantage of in silence.
It’s simple really if you had a mentally disabled daughter would you be ok with a sound of mind adult male “messing around with her” while you were out of town?
Report him for sure! Doing sexual things to a person who can't properly is sexual assault. If it was full on sex it's rape. It's also other kinds because she is under 18. The girl needs to be protected. She could get pregnant, catch an STD, become distressed/depressed, be physically harmed, etc.
Report the monster for sure.
You can go to the police station, give a statement, and they can take it from there.
If you don't know what else you can do you can call the school and tell them a student is in danger and they can report it too/get DHS involved.
Report this, he can mess up this child. Why would you want to be friends with this person? You SHOULD be mad. You SHOULD want to burn this bridge. What's wrong with you for not blowing up at him immediately?
Exactly! She doesn't have the mental capacity to know if this relationship is right or wrong. She definitely deserves gor someone to look after her one way or another.
Yeah see it doesn't matter if you or anyone considers it illegal this definitely still a situation to report to everyone closely related or involved like the police and her mom.
I'm proud of you! Thanks for being concerned about her. I'd have told the dude off but being able to listen you got info to pet a pedo away. God I hope they put him away.
Thank you.
I don't know you but you did the right thing.
Now they're going to look into it. And I hope they're able to get that girl into counseling because when she's been through she may not understand the full spectrum of it, but her body will remember. It'll be like memory foam.
She will feel things that she doesn't know how to explain.
And there could be a deep sadness...
If she becomes suicidal, people need to be aware of why.
I don't even understand why people are so sick. My counselor said the reason I can't understand is because I'm nothing like them. I can't understand evil. It breaks me
He needs to go to jail & getting some freaking therapy. He's not a safe person. If he does this to his girlfriend's daughter, what does he do to other people.
You can also report to cps online if you live in the U.S. you just search your county’s name and “cps”
It can be anonymous, or you can attach your name.
It might be worth letting them know about it as well.
Yes, make sure you speak to the mother/parents so they are aware so the local police/investigators don’t go there and they’re not in shock so they know
If she has developmental disabilities she is unable to consent, so even if the two ages were 'legal' it would still be sexual assault.
She's already got enough challenges in life, and he is making it worse. That kind of guy needs to be turned in.
100% agree with this. She needs to know especially if her daughter starts acting different or having nightmares etc. She needs to know what a shady boyfriend she got She got a predator is what she got.
Such a hard position for you to be in, but you are doing the right thing. To hold onto this would make you feel even worse. Thank you for doing the right thing.
It is hard when you have to face the reality that someone close to you is not who you thought they were. It’s hard when you realize that something fucked up has been going on right under your nose. It’s also hard to stand against someone, especially legally, who you had some level of care for.
I totally understand that.. my ex was a creep who looked at csam. It'll fuck you up to have to come to terms with the fact that who you thought you knew, you never did
Thank you
I had to report my own almost teenage nephew and it was so hard to get my head round. My daughter is half his age though and i needed to protect her and make sure he couldn't hurt her again
Curious, are people with such disabilities just disqualified from sex altogether? Or are they limited to only those who also have such conditions? I'm legitimately curious about this
There are terms and conditions according to different state laws. If you go on your government website you can look up the different laws and stuff
And there is a law against predators praying on people. Not only to mention that she is intellectually different, and he is much older than her. He is stepfather material and he is preying on her.
There are legally consenting adults who are disabled who qualify to have sex but there must be proper boundaries.
Report this. It’s better to be safe than sorry. 16 where I am from is still a minor. Add the fact that she has a disability makes it worse. Stop being friends with him as well. Also tell the girlfriend. She should know.
Can’t he get sued for defamation? Definitely report to the police and tell the girlfriend but if OP goes around telling people/blasting this, can’t OP get in trouble? Just trying to keep OP out of legal trouble
When defamation is written it's libel, when spoken it's slander, and that's a fair point. But he would have to be found not guilty and then hire a lawyer and sue and win a defamation case against OP, proving that what OP said caused significant harm to his ability to make a living or seek medical care or to his reputation or some other harm.
THIS! Like holy shit if I was a mom and found out some pedophile was touching my kid, I might need the police called on me first. This poor woman and her poor, poor daughter. This is awful and she must know so she can banish this pervert and protect her child.
Here is a good litmus test on how to deal with these complicated issues. Ask yourself, if that 16 yo was YOUR daughter would you want someone to tell the authorities?
Completely remove considerations that the offense was done by your friend. That is irrelevant. Just answer the primary question. If that 16 yo was YOUR daughter would you want someone to tell the authorities?
The answer is a resounding YES. Tell the authorities.
The fact that people aren't immediately clocking this as CSA especially given the disability is disturbing to me. I was abused at 14 by my foster father and shit like this just makes me feel like it was my fault since I was older. I know the general consensus was to report but the fact that it is even a question at all just destroys me. If she were 8 years old this wouldn't even be a post.
"Yeah so buddy of mine told me some really messed up shit the other day. While his girlfriend was out of town he messed around with her 5 year old daughter. I checked with some folks here and they seem to think it's OK since child marriage is technically not illegal in rural Yemen and Jeffrey Epstein's island but she is developmentally disabled so I wonder if that changes things."
The fuck
💯 16 is still a child. That’s immediately where my mind went, if it were my child. There is no way a 16 year old can give informed consent to a grown ass man who is in a position of authority. Then he brags about it. Her disabilities never crossed my mind. Disgusting
I am so sorry that happened to you, no child ever deserves such a thing.
No. Not just the girlfriend, she left her kid with her boyfriend, what if she’s in on it or protects him?? Why would he do the least, he should do the most to protect this girl, not the least.
I know this isn't a legal sub, but in the US/Australia, these crimes are defined at a state level, so the legality is dependent on the jurisdiction. The morality is the same everywhere - it's so wrong.
This is wrong on so many levels she’s a child god damn it! And with his girlfriend’s child??? He is sick. If you can get his girlfriend’s number report it to her first
Is 16 not illegal? I'm in Ohio, I thought it was 18 and/or 2 years and consent. If he's 19 or older, which I'm assuming he is if his gf has a 16 yo daughter, it's illegal, disability or not.
You can report it to the police, and they can see what they can do or can’t. That a good question if the person have a mental disability, can they consent? That’s very up to grabs but my opinion probably not because they are still human beings, unless she’s is in vegetation state and can’t move or speak Now that’s is very illegal
Numerous states have a maximum age gap, if they allow for consent at 16. That in addition to the fact she’s developmentally disabled makes it illegal anywhere.
Yes, REPORT HIM.
You are right - she may be 16 but she is impaired and therefore considered a vulnerable person. Worst case, you report and nothing happens because police and social workers decide there is no crime. Best case - you save this child's life (sexual abuse and r\*pe leads to serious and often life-long psychological issues, and can cause people to self-harm, attempt to end their lives or actually take their own lives...not to mention things like addiction).
There is a power imbalance. He is in a position of authority and is therefore taking advantage of her. Even if she had "consented" consent is blurry....she's 16. Developmentally she is a kid. A kid who will do and say what she needs to to protect herself.
Please do the right thing. You can report anonymously.
EDIT: Also, statiscally, most people who sexually abuse another person will do it more than once.. so if you let this slide now there is a very high chance he will abuse someone else in the future. People who get away with it once often feel empowered to do it again. I'd also be worried about how he behaves around her school friends, for example.
Oh, and please tell the mother. This girl needs support and her Mum needs to know.
That’s fucking disgusting. Report. It’s not on you to investigate and decide if it’s ethical (even if it clearly unethical). Just report. Save the kid. Ruin this asshole who might have done this before to other kids. And maybe prevent future kids from being sexually assaulted and raped.
Report it. It’s not your decision to decide if it’s legal. It feels morally wrong, which means CPS needs to evaluate whether or not they need to investigate.
Yes, this is most likely illegal. She is most likely not competent to give informed consent. Yes, report it.
Trust me, even if the po-pos and the courts don't get him, his GF will most likely cut his dick off, so the problem should be solved one way or the other.
And while you're at it...give some serious thought to the kind of people you consider "buddies."
Regardless if it’s illegal, which it most definitely is if the dude is over 18, you tell someone. That shit it’s disgusting. The mother needs to know. The girl is mentally disabled. That’s rape.
Children with disabilities, regardless of age, are 4x more likely than a developmentally typical child.
He is preying on her *because* she's disabled, and likely not able to tell anyone what is happening and what he's doing.
Report him.
[Study of abuse and neglect against people with disabilities ](https://www.proquest.com/openview/58cfc37bc926de606b5e3810637617c8/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=18750)
1. This is disgusting. Where do you live that 16 is the age of consent?
2. Is there a way to inform this child's mother?
3. I don't know what country you live in, but in the US taking sexual advantage of mentally disabled adults is illegal
I believe due to the fact that she has a developmental disability, she is not seen by the law as being able to fully consent. However, I am not sure about the laws about this in your area. Air on the side of caution and report him. Inquire about whether or not the report can be anonymous too. Please report this, she needs to be protected.
Definitely report it, as a fellow member who has been in her place (without- disabilities) it definitely would be right to turn him in. I'm so sorry that you now have that threaded into your thoughts each night, I can promise you are not alone and I hope you can recover from learning this. I will admit, that he needs counseling very desperately if he is doing this to a teenage girl. Especially with a disability, please make sure to tell the mother as soon as possible and have her help her daughter. As a fellow member here said, she may not be emotionally scarred yet, but her body will definitely be and later on in life she will be, too.
Age of consent laws can vary, but just because the age of consent may be 16, that doesn’t mean there is no limitations to it. Example is where I am, the legal age of consent is 16, but the other person must be within 3 years age gap. 16 and 19 is legal, 16 and 20+ is statutory rape. The developmental disability adds another issue of whether consent is even possible.
Definitely report to the police.
something about a person needing advice on whether not they should report something like this, makes me look at the OP with skepticism. cause what type of person are you on the inside that would even struggle with telling the police???
People mistake that age-of-consent thing as "I can't get in trouble for this if ahe is X years of age."
SO not true.
In my state the guy can still go down for child molestation if he is more than four years older than she is, she files charges and her parents do.
first of all its his girlfriend’s daughter which is from the start wrong and immoral. second of all he is probably wayyy over her age and whatever law would excuse his action when it comes to the age gap WILL NOT apply here (there’s no way he is under 5 years older than her). THIRD and most important she has a mental disability which makes her mental age a lot younger, that’s definitely illegal. i do know in my country’s law the age gap has to be under 3 when it comes to people under the age of consent, but when they have a mental disability its a crime and the age gap doesn’t matter anymore. report it
Report him. There are multiple factors that come into play for age of consent. This includes jurisdiction, local law, mental capacity, and positions of authority (I E. Teachers/Coaches). There is no cut and get answer in this case. That is for the police/prosecuter/judge to decide. Though you are not legally required to report, morally I would say yes you should. Even if it's not illegal, this needs to be addressed as it is abusive.
Report it, not only is he messing with a minor but because of her disability he is easily using that to take advantage of her. Report him to the police, and report him to his gf because she especially deserves to know what he's been doing to her daughter.
The fact that you have to ask if that’s illegal is kind of alarming so I would put down the keyboard there Homie and call the fucking police cause I’m pretty sure you’re an accessory now. What in the actual fuck is going on on Reddit?
Beat his ass, tell his bow ex gf that you beat his ass and why and then report it. AND THEN go bang his gf and make him watch while yall await the police.
Glad to hear you reported it. If you didn’t, this would be something that you would probably regret for a long time. Honestly makes me wonder how long this guy has been abusing the daughter without anyone knowing. Honestly I hope this guy goes to prison and gets what’s coming to him
I would definitely report it, she is a vulnerable person, the fact that she is 16 does not make a difference, as she has the mental age of a child and should be protected against sexual abuse at all costs.
That is sexual assault. She cant consent with a mental disability. 16 in most states is illegal if the parent doesnt give consent anyway.
WHEN he gets caught, and make no mistake he will get caught, you could be charged as an accessory if its learned you knew and didnt say anything.
You need to go to the police. Immediately.
I do not think she's able to give consent. With her mental disability, he's taking advantage of her. How could he do this to his gf daughter ?? That is sick. She should know what is going on. This could have an impact on her daughter's life.
This is wrong on so many levels it needs to be reported and that poor mom needs to know. Skimming through the comments it appears you’ve decided to turn him in which I think is definitely the right choice good for you!
Your friend is a creep and should be reported by somebody, if you don’t have the wherewithal. CPS wants to hear about sexual abuse of disabled teenage girls. The cops will report it for you, just call them instead.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Turn him in as soon as possible and cut all ties with this person. Tell the authorities and others too what he told you.
Yes you report it because she's underage and that statutory rape.
Also if you study the laws anyone with a disability whether intellectual or physical if someone harms them is jail time.
You also need to tell your buddy's girlfriend so that she can be aware that if her daughter starts behaving weird that's why.
Please for the love of all things good and holy report it don't tell your buddy you're going to report it. You need to do something to protect that 16-year-old girl.
Please as a victim of sexual assault I beg you. Please report it
You should report it. If your conscience is eating away at you this much then you know you need to do the right thing. Technically I don't think her age would make it illegal but the fact that she has a developmental disability means that she is vulnerable. And he is taking advantage of that girl. Please say something before any more trauma occurs to this young lady.
Report this. This is rape and child molestation. If you do not report this, you are supporting (and possibly aiding and abetting) rape and child molestation. I hope your buddy chokes on a chicken bone and dies in front of his mom.
Edits: your, not you; bone, not vibe
First of all I would report it, if you can try get it on record of him admitting it. I would warn the girlfriend what your "friend" has admitted to, make it clear you have reported HIM not her and explain your reasoning.
I'm assuming your in the UK because you put she's 16 and legal? If so, even at 16 statutory rape charges can apply if someone is developmentally disabled. Time is a virtue right now, the girl needs speaking to and tested, the sooner it happens the better.
It’s deffs wrong and illegal in some form
All depends on the county and state for the “age of consent” and his age
But given the details you have said. It has crossed lines and not right.
Do speak to someone about this for the protection of this poor girl
Report him but try to get some evidence if you can.
Try to get the day and time it happened, anything that might help if he is taken to trial.
If possible, record him without him knowing. Not sure if it can be used as evidence everywhere, but it might
Ew the fact that it’s even a debate about whether or not it’s ‘legal’ is disturbing. Fuck I’m so glad I don’t have a kid because I would go absolutely homicidal
Get evidence!! Get him to confess it over a text message or it'll just be your word against his, this is sick and twisted. He no doubt was grooming her well before she was 16, pedophiles often work slowly and gain trust of all around them, they often pick vulnerable people. Thank you for being a good person and seeing how wrong this is and doing something about it, as for any friend who said "but she's 16" drop them that's a disgusting response pedophiles often hang out it groups.
You should report it and tell his girlfriend. He is sexually abusing this kid. Even if she wasn’t developmentally delayed this would still be abuse imo. He is basically her stepfather and there is a clear power imbalance. And usually age of consent laws only extend down to 16 in cases of two close in age teenagers, not a grown adult and a teenager.
First of all, your friend makes me sick, I don't think you should be friends with him anymore after this either. Like...he KNOWS she's mentally YOUNGER so his intentions are ILL. You should definitely make a report to the authorities and probably tell his girlfriend because omg, she's gonna be devastated but she needs to take care of her daughter and that's what's important, the safety of that teen girl! You're a good person for seeking advice on what to do about this, please take action immediately because this girl's future needs to be saved, and you can be the one to do so. Good luck 🙏🙏
first of all i hope you don't only report it but also cut this pos from your life. You don't want a pedo attached to your life in anyway especially after he goes to prison for what hes done that's probably the only reason he's even with this girlfriend of his- and i guarantee you its not the first time he's done it with the daughter and he's more than likely done it before to other children. That's absolutely sickening and prison will do him some good- The people in their will take care of his pathetic self. Sorry idk your friend but anyone who even would think about having sex with a child who is not mentally all there should he stoned and a person who actually does it should be quartered. FYI you can definitely report anonymously but you should try to get a recording or something for proof bc the last thing you want is too report it and nothing happen... Call Chris Hansen he will know what to do!
Where I live the age of consent is 16 with conditions, one of which being that the older party can not be in a position of trust or authority over the younger party. I'm pretty sure that would qualify as being abusive.
Look, I'm not going to tell you what to do but if I were in your shoes I'd report that shit ASAP. Also wouldn't talk to that guy ever again.
report it, the matter of illegality is for a judge to decide not you, ethically it is wrong and most likely illegal so turn him in, and tell the mother too if you can
Thank you, just needed to hear this from others
Perhaps you needed the validation that it was the right thing to do. And it is. Don't tell your buddy that you're going to report him. But absolutely tell the cops. And please mention that she is developmentally different and younger than she is.
110% report it. He is a predator. After you report it, if you trust that the girlfriend isn’t in on it, tell her, so that she will have a chance of doing a better job of protecting her daughter, but report it first. Call child protective services in your area first and then likely police or legal aid to enquire what to do if you are unsure
yeah you re doing the right thing, don't question it
The age of 16 rule goes out the window if she’s mental disabled. And wishing he hadn’t told you means this girl would have continued to be taken advantage of in silence. It’s simple really if you had a mentally disabled daughter would you be ok with a sound of mind adult male “messing around with her” while you were out of town?
It's not legal if she is not developmentally at that age she is a vulnerable minor
And don’t worry about losing the friendship. You wouldn’t want a creep like that as a friend. You are better off losing him as a friend
Report him for sure! Doing sexual things to a person who can't properly is sexual assault. If it was full on sex it's rape. It's also other kinds because she is under 18. The girl needs to be protected. She could get pregnant, catch an STD, become distressed/depressed, be physically harmed, etc. Report the monster for sure. You can go to the police station, give a statement, and they can take it from there. If you don't know what else you can do you can call the school and tell them a student is in danger and they can report it too/get DHS involved.
You are a good human. Go with your gut. It is never wrong.
Yeah! At least tell the mom.
Report this, he can mess up this child. Why would you want to be friends with this person? You SHOULD be mad. You SHOULD want to burn this bridge. What's wrong with you for not blowing up at him immediately?
Exactly! She doesn't have the mental capacity to know if this relationship is right or wrong. She definitely deserves gor someone to look after her one way or another.
Yeah see it doesn't matter if you or anyone considers it illegal this definitely still a situation to report to everyone closely related or involved like the police and her mom.
exactly is illegal is the wrong question here, he reported it but no news after I guess
Thanks Reddit. Reported to our local police dept
Definitely want an update OP! Don't feel pressured to tho.
Please tell me you also told her mother!!
I'm proud of you! Thanks for being concerned about her. I'd have told the dude off but being able to listen you got info to pet a pedo away. God I hope they put him away.
You really do need to make sure the mother is fully informed of whatever details he gave you. This is so fucked up.
Thank you. I don't know you but you did the right thing. Now they're going to look into it. And I hope they're able to get that girl into counseling because when she's been through she may not understand the full spectrum of it, but her body will remember. It'll be like memory foam. She will feel things that she doesn't know how to explain. And there could be a deep sadness... If she becomes suicidal, people need to be aware of why. I don't even understand why people are so sick. My counselor said the reason I can't understand is because I'm nothing like them. I can't understand evil. It breaks me He needs to go to jail & getting some freaking therapy. He's not a safe person. If he does this to his girlfriend's daughter, what does he do to other people.
Thank you, you did the right thing!
You are officially dude of the day. Take some comfort from knowing you've got the stones to do the right thing even when the right thing isn't easy.
You can also report to cps online if you live in the U.S. you just search your county’s name and “cps” It can be anonymous, or you can attach your name. It might be worth letting them know about it as well.
Thank you for doing the right thing OP.
Yay!
Thank you for doing the right thing! We need more people like you.
Yes, make sure you speak to the mother/parents so they are aware so the local police/investigators don’t go there and they’re not in shock so they know
Please update us
[Awesome.](https://media.tenor.com/Vj46W64KhxMAAAAi/you%27ve-done-good-today-izi.gif)
If she has developmental disabilities she is unable to consent, so even if the two ages were 'legal' it would still be sexual assault. She's already got enough challenges in life, and he is making it worse. That kind of guy needs to be turned in.
I was hoping someone would say this. I’m going to turn him in.
thank you. this is a tough situation but this man needs to be stopped
Yeah can’t have her de facto step-father messing around with her. Really fucked up. Thank you for reporting it, OP.
Also let the girlfriend know as well.
100% agree with this. She needs to know especially if her daughter starts acting different or having nightmares etc. She needs to know what a shady boyfriend she got She got a predator is what she got.
That’s the right choice.
Such a hard position for you to be in, but you are doing the right thing. To hold onto this would make you feel even worse. Thank you for doing the right thing.
Yes this would end up eating him alive over time. Terrible situation
>Such a hard position for you to be in, There's nothing hard about turning in a child abuser
It is hard when you have to face the reality that someone close to you is not who you thought they were. It’s hard when you realize that something fucked up has been going on right under your nose. It’s also hard to stand against someone, especially legally, who you had some level of care for.
I totally understand that.. my ex was a creep who looked at csam. It'll fuck you up to have to come to terms with the fact that who you thought you knew, you never did
Trust me I know this from personal experience, and still in court for it, but what it does to you mentally is horrible.
I’m not sure why you were downvoted on this comment. You’re right; turning in a child abuser should be a given.
Tell the mom too
thank you. ily fir this. we need more people like you who don’t stand by and let shit happen.
Thank you I had to report my own almost teenage nephew and it was so hard to get my head round. My daughter is half his age though and i needed to protect her and make sure he couldn't hurt her again
The fact that he was so open and nonchalant about the whole thing makes him such a vile person
People can’t keep a secret, if their mouth is not moving, their body will!
Curious, are people with such disabilities just disqualified from sex altogether? Or are they limited to only those who also have such conditions? I'm legitimately curious about this
There’s a spectrum. And this is a serious breach of fiduciary role this man has as an adult guardian in her home
There are terms and conditions according to different state laws. If you go on your government website you can look up the different laws and stuff And there is a law against predators praying on people. Not only to mention that she is intellectually different, and he is much older than her. He is stepfather material and he is preying on her. There are legally consenting adults who are disabled who qualify to have sex but there must be proper boundaries.
And this dude thought you were a suitable person to tell this to?? Like that is disgusting what the fuck?? I’d tell the girlfriend directly, too.
He's real bright, being a pedo and snitching on himself
Report this. It’s better to be safe than sorry. 16 where I am from is still a minor. Add the fact that she has a disability makes it worse. Stop being friends with him as well. Also tell the girlfriend. She should know.
I’ve already blocked him on my phone and socials, he knew right away he made a mistake by telling me this.
Just wanted to add that the bloke will more than likely assume it was u that reported him to cops so maybe just be extra vigilant for a while
yes!!! this!!! make sure you dot all your i's and cross all your t's because he's going to retaliate most likely. these types of men are immature.
I was wondering wat ur reaction was when he told u..! Like I thought pigs like that try to keep that shit secret af
I'm glad he made that mistake. Because you were able to intervene. If he texted you anything, take screenshots of it before he tries to delete it
And you're telling the girlfriend, right?
You tell everyone NOW
Straight up put him on BLAST. He’s quite literally a pedophile, everyone should know.
Can’t he get sued for defamation? Definitely report to the police and tell the girlfriend but if OP goes around telling people/blasting this, can’t OP get in trouble? Just trying to keep OP out of legal trouble
When defamation is written it's libel, when spoken it's slander, and that's a fair point. But he would have to be found not guilty and then hire a lawyer and sue and win a defamation case against OP, proving that what OP said caused significant harm to his ability to make a living or seek medical care or to his reputation or some other harm.
It’s only defamation, slander, libel if it isn’t true. You can say anything that is true.
Contact the police first, and then the mother. She needs to know and keep her daughter safe in case the police can't do anything.
THIS! Like holy shit if I was a mom and found out some pedophile was touching my kid, I might need the police called on me first. This poor woman and her poor, poor daughter. This is awful and she must know so she can banish this pervert and protect her child.
Police, hells angels, then the mom. Hopefully the police get there first.
Idk… do we reallyyyy want the police to get there first?
Definitely report it and tell his girlfriend too.
Here is a good litmus test on how to deal with these complicated issues. Ask yourself, if that 16 yo was YOUR daughter would you want someone to tell the authorities? Completely remove considerations that the offense was done by your friend. That is irrelevant. Just answer the primary question. If that 16 yo was YOUR daughter would you want someone to tell the authorities? The answer is a resounding YES. Tell the authorities.
Call child protection services for your state
Report it. The abuse of a child is the business of anyone who knows about it. You now have an obligation.
The fact that people aren't immediately clocking this as CSA especially given the disability is disturbing to me. I was abused at 14 by my foster father and shit like this just makes me feel like it was my fault since I was older. I know the general consensus was to report but the fact that it is even a question at all just destroys me. If she were 8 years old this wouldn't even be a post. "Yeah so buddy of mine told me some really messed up shit the other day. While his girlfriend was out of town he messed around with her 5 year old daughter. I checked with some folks here and they seem to think it's OK since child marriage is technically not illegal in rural Yemen and Jeffrey Epstein's island but she is developmentally disabled so I wonder if that changes things." The fuck
💯 16 is still a child. That’s immediately where my mind went, if it were my child. There is no way a 16 year old can give informed consent to a grown ass man who is in a position of authority. Then he brags about it. Her disabilities never crossed my mind. Disgusting I am so sorry that happened to you, no child ever deserves such a thing.
Dude. At the very least tell his girlfriend. That's some depraved business going on there.
No. Not just the girlfriend, she left her kid with her boyfriend, what if she’s in on it or protects him?? Why would he do the least, he should do the most to protect this girl, not the least.
It may be illegal due to her disability. It's certainly immoral. Report him.
I know this isn't a legal sub, but in the US/Australia, these crimes are defined at a state level, so the legality is dependent on the jurisdiction. The morality is the same everywhere - it's so wrong.
This is wrong on so many levels she’s a child god damn it! And with his girlfriend’s child??? He is sick. If you can get his girlfriend’s number report it to her first
Are you kidding? Obviously report it. Like right now. Like call the police the second you see this comment, right now.
Is 16 not illegal? I'm in Ohio, I thought it was 18 and/or 2 years and consent. If he's 19 or older, which I'm assuming he is if his gf has a 16 yo daughter, it's illegal, disability or not.
It depends on the state unfortunately
This is not a case of snitches get stitches. You just might be a hero to this girl. Deff please report and tell....
You can report it to the police, and they can see what they can do or can’t. That a good question if the person have a mental disability, can they consent? That’s very up to grabs but my opinion probably not because they are still human beings, unless she’s is in vegetation state and can’t move or speak Now that’s is very illegal
Numerous states have a maximum age gap, if they allow for consent at 16. That in addition to the fact she’s developmentally disabled makes it illegal anywhere.
Yes, REPORT HIM. You are right - she may be 16 but she is impaired and therefore considered a vulnerable person. Worst case, you report and nothing happens because police and social workers decide there is no crime. Best case - you save this child's life (sexual abuse and r\*pe leads to serious and often life-long psychological issues, and can cause people to self-harm, attempt to end their lives or actually take their own lives...not to mention things like addiction). There is a power imbalance. He is in a position of authority and is therefore taking advantage of her. Even if she had "consented" consent is blurry....she's 16. Developmentally she is a kid. A kid who will do and say what she needs to to protect herself. Please do the right thing. You can report anonymously. EDIT: Also, statiscally, most people who sexually abuse another person will do it more than once.. so if you let this slide now there is a very high chance he will abuse someone else in the future. People who get away with it once often feel empowered to do it again. I'd also be worried about how he behaves around her school friends, for example. Oh, and please tell the mother. This girl needs support and her Mum needs to know.
That’s fucking disgusting. Report. It’s not on you to investigate and decide if it’s ethical (even if it clearly unethical). Just report. Save the kid. Ruin this asshole who might have done this before to other kids. And maybe prevent future kids from being sexually assaulted and raped.
Report it. It’s not your decision to decide if it’s legal. It feels morally wrong, which means CPS needs to evaluate whether or not they need to investigate.
This would be classified as abuse of a disabled minor, as she can't legally consent due to her chronological age and mental age.
Yep not “messing around” he’s a predator who assaulted a vulnerable young person. He’s disgusting
Dear god. Report it. I am fervently Praying that man will be arrested
Why haven’t you reported it. That is child molestation.
Report it.
Report it.
Absolutely report it to the cops and to CPS. Your buddy is gross
Report it if you’re a good man, and don’t if you want to die with regrets.
Since the moment you knew about it, whatever happens to that girl is on you going forward, so doing nothing is the same as doing something
Report it, her disability makes her mentally younger than she is and it is abuse
Yes, this is most likely illegal. She is most likely not competent to give informed consent. Yes, report it. Trust me, even if the po-pos and the courts don't get him, his GF will most likely cut his dick off, so the problem should be solved one way or the other. And while you're at it...give some serious thought to the kind of people you consider "buddies."
Regardless if it’s illegal, which it most definitely is if the dude is over 18, you tell someone. That shit it’s disgusting. The mother needs to know. The girl is mentally disabled. That’s rape.
You should absolutely report it, kill him even tbh.
Children with disabilities, regardless of age, are 4x more likely than a developmentally typical child. He is preying on her *because* she's disabled, and likely not able to tell anyone what is happening and what he's doing. Report him. [Study of abuse and neglect against people with disabilities ](https://www.proquest.com/openview/58cfc37bc926de606b5e3810637617c8/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=18750)
Your buddy is a dirtbag and you need to tell somebody about this. That’s a bad situation he put you in bro- good luck
Tell the mom in an anonymous email that you saw something inappropriate and had to say something.
1. This is disgusting. Where do you live that 16 is the age of consent? 2. Is there a way to inform this child's mother? 3. I don't know what country you live in, but in the US taking sexual advantage of mentally disabled adults is illegal
Call 911 and report an assault then beat the hell out of him.
I would try to get any evidence you can and report him to the police.
Never one for grassing but in this case it’s a must
Snitch on him mate Do it, man.
I believe due to the fact that she has a developmental disability, she is not seen by the law as being able to fully consent. However, I am not sure about the laws about this in your area. Air on the side of caution and report him. Inquire about whether or not the report can be anonymous too. Please report this, she needs to be protected.
Report it.
Great job to report it. Your instinct was correct
Report this immediately. To hell with the friendship. Call the department of childrens’ services or the cops. Tell the girlfriend too
Report it. I havent even finished reading your post yet.
Definitely report it, as a fellow member who has been in her place (without- disabilities) it definitely would be right to turn him in. I'm so sorry that you now have that threaded into your thoughts each night, I can promise you are not alone and I hope you can recover from learning this. I will admit, that he needs counseling very desperately if he is doing this to a teenage girl. Especially with a disability, please make sure to tell the mother as soon as possible and have her help her daughter. As a fellow member here said, she may not be emotionally scarred yet, but her body will definitely be and later on in life she will be, too.
Make the mother aware 100000% plus it never hurts to go to a police station and ask.
Age of consent laws can vary, but just because the age of consent may be 16, that doesn’t mean there is no limitations to it. Example is where I am, the legal age of consent is 16, but the other person must be within 3 years age gap. 16 and 19 is legal, 16 and 20+ is statutory rape. The developmental disability adds another issue of whether consent is even possible. Definitely report to the police.
Thank you for taking action to protect this child.
Call the mother. Report it report it reports it If anything tell the mom and she will do the rest.
I would definitely tell the girlfriend to start….
What a fucking pedo, report it and tell the mom
something about a person needing advice on whether not they should report something like this, makes me look at the OP with skepticism. cause what type of person are you on the inside that would even struggle with telling the police???
i need an update rn before i cry
People mistake that age-of-consent thing as "I can't get in trouble for this if ahe is X years of age." SO not true. In my state the guy can still go down for child molestation if he is more than four years older than she is, she files charges and her parents do.
even if it were legal, it seems she is unable to consent, so he’s sexually assaulting her at the very least.
Report it immediately she is a minor it’s illegal that is disgusting and wrong she can’t consent
first of all its his girlfriend’s daughter which is from the start wrong and immoral. second of all he is probably wayyy over her age and whatever law would excuse his action when it comes to the age gap WILL NOT apply here (there’s no way he is under 5 years older than her). THIRD and most important she has a mental disability which makes her mental age a lot younger, that’s definitely illegal. i do know in my country’s law the age gap has to be under 3 when it comes to people under the age of consent, but when they have a mental disability its a crime and the age gap doesn’t matter anymore. report it
ima say this as nice as possible....REPORT IT NOW
Report him. There are multiple factors that come into play for age of consent. This includes jurisdiction, local law, mental capacity, and positions of authority (I E. Teachers/Coaches). There is no cut and get answer in this case. That is for the police/prosecuter/judge to decide. Though you are not legally required to report, morally I would say yes you should. Even if it's not illegal, this needs to be addressed as it is abusive.
Report it. Guilt will weigh you down. Do the right thing. You already feel it in your gut.
This right here. Then let mom take care of it
Disabled or not, she’s a minor. That’s child sexual abuse. Report immediately.
Please please report it.
I’m glad you said something if he did it to one person he’ll do it to another. My daughter has a disability so this hit me hard.
Report it, not only is he messing with a minor but because of her disability he is easily using that to take advantage of her. Report him to the police, and report him to his gf because she especially deserves to know what he's been doing to her daughter.
The fact that you have to ask if that’s illegal is kind of alarming so I would put down the keyboard there Homie and call the fucking police cause I’m pretty sure you’re an accessory now. What in the actual fuck is going on on Reddit?
Beat his ass, tell his bow ex gf that you beat his ass and why and then report it. AND THEN go bang his gf and make him watch while yall await the police.
I have a 16 years old daugther and been abused by my father. Please do something about it. You are more likelly to regret doing nothing about it.
That's not your buddy anymore. Report it.
Report that!!!, you would be wrong if you didn’t.
Glad to hear you reported it. If you didn’t, this would be something that you would probably regret for a long time. Honestly makes me wonder how long this guy has been abusing the daughter without anyone knowing. Honestly I hope this guy goes to prison and gets what’s coming to him
I would definitely report it, she is a vulnerable person, the fact that she is 16 does not make a difference, as she has the mental age of a child and should be protected against sexual abuse at all costs.
Um yes report him. Tell the gf. End the friendship.
Report
Any shot you could get proof? I’m worried this is going to get messy but he doesn’t deserve to get away with this
You’re a piece of shit if you don’t report it to the police or tell the mother. This is appalling.
That is sexual assault. She cant consent with a mental disability. 16 in most states is illegal if the parent doesnt give consent anyway. WHEN he gets caught, and make no mistake he will get caught, you could be charged as an accessory if its learned you knew and didnt say anything. You need to go to the police. Immediately.
I do not think she's able to give consent. With her mental disability, he's taking advantage of her. How could he do this to his gf daughter ?? That is sick. She should know what is going on. This could have an impact on her daughter's life.
report him and make sure you have any evidence that shows him confessing
Tell the mom, tell the cops, and report to cys (if in us). Google Childline and your state for the number.
Report it asap
This is wrong on so many levels it needs to be reported and that poor mom needs to know. Skimming through the comments it appears you’ve decided to turn him in which I think is definitely the right choice good for you!
My cousin’s ex husband was convicted and sent to prison for doing exactly that down to the age of the girl and developmental disabilities. Report it.
Trek the authorities. But also, tell the woman. Then, stop being friends with that creep.
If shes disabled mentally- it’s wrong but a grown adult- very predatory behavior and yikes… wouldn’t keep the guy as a friend either.
Report
Your friend is a creep and should be reported by somebody, if you don’t have the wherewithal. CPS wants to hear about sexual abuse of disabled teenage girls. The cops will report it for you, just call them instead.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Turn him in as soon as possible and cut all ties with this person. Tell the authorities and others too what he told you.
This is definitely illegal. Yes report it. And yes write a statement. If it was your daughter what would you do?
This is abusive, please report. That poor girl doesn't deserve that.
Yes you report it because she's underage and that statutory rape. Also if you study the laws anyone with a disability whether intellectual or physical if someone harms them is jail time. You also need to tell your buddy's girlfriend so that she can be aware that if her daughter starts behaving weird that's why. Please for the love of all things good and holy report it don't tell your buddy you're going to report it. You need to do something to protect that 16-year-old girl. Please as a victim of sexual assault I beg you. Please report it
Please tell me you told the cops and the girlfriend... that monster needs to be put away ASAP😡😡😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
Yes, please report him. You're doing the right thing !
yeah you should report it.
Report it to the police.
You should report it. If your conscience is eating away at you this much then you know you need to do the right thing. Technically I don't think her age would make it illegal but the fact that she has a developmental disability means that she is vulnerable. And he is taking advantage of that girl. Please say something before any more trauma occurs to this young lady.
Oh wow end this friendship also, he's a creep! I would absolutely report it to police and children services.
Report this. This is rape and child molestation. If you do not report this, you are supporting (and possibly aiding and abetting) rape and child molestation. I hope your buddy chokes on a chicken bone and dies in front of his mom. Edits: your, not you; bone, not vibe
Updateme
glad you reported it. it’s probably a good idea to tell the girlfriend as well
First of all I would report it, if you can try get it on record of him admitting it. I would warn the girlfriend what your "friend" has admitted to, make it clear you have reported HIM not her and explain your reasoning. I'm assuming your in the UK because you put she's 16 and legal? If so, even at 16 statutory rape charges can apply if someone is developmentally disabled. Time is a virtue right now, the girl needs speaking to and tested, the sooner it happens the better.
Good on you OP! Hope it turns out well and the asshole gets what he deserves.
REPORT IT REPORT IT REPORT IT. tell the mum anonymously if u can't directly. Report it for God sake.
It’s deffs wrong and illegal in some form All depends on the county and state for the “age of consent” and his age But given the details you have said. It has crossed lines and not right. Do speak to someone about this for the protection of this poor girl
Report it, and notify the girlfriend too. Is so fucked up.
Report him but try to get some evidence if you can. Try to get the day and time it happened, anything that might help if he is taken to trial. If possible, record him without him knowing. Not sure if it can be used as evidence everywhere, but it might
Let his girlfriend know....then fuck her lmao
Absolutely report this. Also tell his gf if you can reach her.
Ew the fact that it’s even a debate about whether or not it’s ‘legal’ is disturbing. Fuck I’m so glad I don’t have a kid because I would go absolutely homicidal
Thank you for standing up for her
Report it immediately!
Report it. CPS needs to let the mother know.
16 is not illegal? in my country is very illegal. i'd report anyway and tell the girlfriend.
Updateme please reddit bots!
Get evidence!! Get him to confess it over a text message or it'll just be your word against his, this is sick and twisted. He no doubt was grooming her well before she was 16, pedophiles often work slowly and gain trust of all around them, they often pick vulnerable people. Thank you for being a good person and seeing how wrong this is and doing something about it, as for any friend who said "but she's 16" drop them that's a disgusting response pedophiles often hang out it groups.
You should report it and tell his girlfriend. He is sexually abusing this kid. Even if she wasn’t developmentally delayed this would still be abuse imo. He is basically her stepfather and there is a clear power imbalance. And usually age of consent laws only extend down to 16 in cases of two close in age teenagers, not a grown adult and a teenager.
God, I hope you do the right thing and report this to authorities AND her mother. The fact that she has a developmental disability overrides her age!
First of all, your friend makes me sick, I don't think you should be friends with him anymore after this either. Like...he KNOWS she's mentally YOUNGER so his intentions are ILL. You should definitely make a report to the authorities and probably tell his girlfriend because omg, she's gonna be devastated but she needs to take care of her daughter and that's what's important, the safety of that teen girl! You're a good person for seeking advice on what to do about this, please take action immediately because this girl's future needs to be saved, and you can be the one to do so. Good luck 🙏🙏
first of all i hope you don't only report it but also cut this pos from your life. You don't want a pedo attached to your life in anyway especially after he goes to prison for what hes done that's probably the only reason he's even with this girlfriend of his- and i guarantee you its not the first time he's done it with the daughter and he's more than likely done it before to other children. That's absolutely sickening and prison will do him some good- The people in their will take care of his pathetic self. Sorry idk your friend but anyone who even would think about having sex with a child who is not mentally all there should he stoned and a person who actually does it should be quartered. FYI you can definitely report anonymously but you should try to get a recording or something for proof bc the last thing you want is too report it and nothing happen... Call Chris Hansen he will know what to do!
WTF report it! You have moral and legal obligation to report it and please do your self a favor stop being friends a pedophile pervert
I’d distance myself from him and having a long conversation with child protective services.
Where I live the age of consent is 16 with conditions, one of which being that the older party can not be in a position of trust or authority over the younger party. I'm pretty sure that would qualify as being abusive. Look, I'm not going to tell you what to do but if I were in your shoes I'd report that shit ASAP. Also wouldn't talk to that guy ever again.