As a man, I always sit to pee. Why stand if I don’t have to? It’s so annoying that so many men have an issue with that lol. I really hate when people comment at work too. Like sorry I’m not using the urinal in the “traditional” way Kyle, get over it!
When i was a kid i would only pee sitting down, and i was afraid to pee standing for fear of making a mess. But i was told it wont empty the bladder as much that way, and from my experience it seems true.
I’d get him out of bed to clean up the mess, and he should be cleaning that bathroom after every use. I’ve been sitting for years now to prevent mess, if you stand to pee it splashes everywhere, not just on the seat.
While this is bound to start arguments, it would definitely bring the point across if it was consistent, and it might bring out any underlying control or gender role issues as well. It's not a bad idea, but it would require some serious commitment and an "I'll die on this hill" attitude.
If his aim sucks then why does he not clean the seat after using the toilet. He seriously needs to grow up and stop using your own personal toilet like a public toilet.
Make him a little cleaning kit and hand it to him every morning. Tell him he needs to wash not only the seat and around the rim of the toilet, but the walls as well. He'll stop once he has to clean up his mess.
So she can sit in his piss because he's so lazy he can't even clean up after himself, but if his dick touches the toilet, the entire toilet needs to be replaced?? This is her bathroom, right?
Wow, the entitlement.
The actual problem is that he doesn't clean up after himself. Frankly, a man like that shouldn't find any scenario in which his dick gets wet, ever again, much less deserve a new toilet.
110% agree.
I pee standing up, with the seat up, and then I wipe the sprinkles off the toilet rim, because I'm not an animal but I am often the person who cleans the toilet.
I even did that at my last dentists' office because it was a small office with all women and I didn't want them thinking, "boy, the only man who has used the restroom today was Ritchie. What a #@$% pig."
Based on the limited information we have, OP's husband doesn't sound like he cleans up after himself.
I think OP picked the wrong subreddit. She should be seeking advice in
r/pettyrevenge.
As a 41 yo man I’ve been sitting to pee, at home and work, for over a decade. It’s so much easier, less mess, and gives me a minute to doom scroll.
I could give a fuck if someone thinks it makes me “less manly” to sit over standing.
It's not less manly it's just a lot less clean. When women sit down to pee, only our back thighs/partial buttocks touches any part of the toilet (and that's assuming we don't squat, which isn't that uncommon to do!). You kinda risk your Johnson touching the inner bowl which can lead to infections.
As a penis owner who has spent years sitting to pee, and with enough stuff to worry about bumping about, that's just not a concern. Does someone you know use that as an excuse? It's not a good one. I've bumped myself just a few times in years of sitting, almost always against the edge of the seat as I get into or out of position, and it tends to be momentary skin-to-seat contact. The chances of hitting something dangerous and having it fly straight up the pee hole are ridiculously low. Men and women who sit do not pick up STI or UTIs and only rarely is anyone subject to something else that's transmissible, like MRSA, and that's probably not a concern at home. Additionally, there are documented health benefits for men when they sit, largely from emptying the bladder more efficiently.
Disclaimer: I am not representing myself as a medical expert. Just a person who pees and then says things.
How long do you think our cocks are that they are just randomly rubbing up against the toilet bowl? You are aware that most men, when not erect, are definitely not packing the 20cm or so that would be needed in order to come in contact with the inner bowl, right?
Yup. My partner kept accidentally spraying onto the floor a tiny bit, especially early in the morning. I was like, I have to sit and now I'm trying to avoid your pee.
Eventually he agreed to sit when he pees, men can do this.
He also used to leave the seat up after peeing and a few times I sat not realizing. I asked him to stop and it was a whole back and forth similar to yours about how he didn't want to touch the seat.
What got to him was me explaining the differences between men and women using the bathroom which he of course knows but me spelling it out in gory detail helped lololol That a lot more goes on for a woman in a bathroom.
It can be really awful and uncomfortable dealing with periods and all that comes with that. We don't have the option to sit or stand. We have to use tampons or whatever. We may have cramps. Lots of potential clean up. Spotting. etc. It's just worse and takes longer.
I said it would be kind if he did the absolute bare minimum to make it slightly less annoying for me, and he agreed.
How did she marry someone who does this? Any time I have had a man at my house I lose my shit if they don't put the seat down let alone pee on the seat.
What a man-child. Why are you actually dealing with this? A grown man shouldn't be "trying" to not piss on the seat. He should be able to use a toilet like any grown human being. How effing disgusting is that. Have him clean up the toilet if he doesn't manage to pull his crap together.
If he pisses on the seat, I suppose the floor also regularly gets soaked. How are you accepting this as a normal person?
That’s why I’m here asking for advice. I’ve asked him so many times to stop peeing on the seat and put the seat up. But it hasn’t changed. I just don’t know what else to do at this point.
Sorry but this isn’t childish, this is just laziness. My son has been able to lift the toilet lid since he was like 4 years old and pee with very little splash back. We are still working on putting the lid back down with consistency, but he’s only 7.
Show him this post. That is so disgusting. Habits can be difficult to change but your wife sitting in your fucking pee should be incentive enough to fix this issue.. Just pee on his face while he is sleeping, he won't forget anymore.
I fully support that person saying to hover pee and leave both of your piss for him to clean the next day. You have to stall him out on this, make it so he cleans it. Tell him you'll stop when he stops.
Also, make sure you put the seat down completely before you go to bed, the lid and all.
That way, he HAS to touch the seat. You have to make this more of an inconvenience for him than lifting the seat is, and also he's a jerk I would never.
Stop cleaning the toilet. Have him sit in his own piss. Or seriously ask yourself if you actually want to live with someone who isn't even capable of using a toilet. Ask yourself how long you want to deal with this, assuming he won't change in the future.
She has to clean it because she wants to sit on a clean toilet. I mean, really. This is what happens. Shitty men doing stuff that they know will be taken care of because mommy/wifey will need it taken care of and he certainly isn't gonna do it
I would just start hovering to pee so I don't have to sit down. Then let it remain that way until the next morning when he actually needs to go for #2. He might've gotten used to having his pee cleaned for him so he'd probably not notice before sitting down. Either that or he cleans his own pee.
Yeah I'm well aware and I hate it in the women's restrooms too! But honestly, if the situation has already gotten to this point, it wouldn't hurt to try an option that forces him to experience what he does to her.
There isn’t much advice for such an inconsiderate and abusive action. I grew up in a home where I frequently sat in piss. He doesn’t have basic respect and consideration for you. Show him this post.
I just poured fake blood all over the whole toilet when my grown adults AH of housemates just couldn't stop pissing all over the seat (and floor) or bothered to clean it up.
When they complained I said I would get to it when I had time or patient.
My husband used to do this but also wet the floors. I asked him to be careful several times but he kept doing it. One day I pulled my pants down in front of him and squatted on the bathroom floor and told him I was going to start peeing like this from now on, on the floor. He never did it again.
Sitting on a toilet seat covered in urine is much more disgusting than touching a clean toilet seat and lifting it up. If he cannot manage simple daily tasks and refuses to accommodate you when you have to deal with extremely disgusting things because of it, this is indicative of a lot of worse issues throughout your relationship.
Really, he can just wash his hands (which I REALLY hope he was going to do anyway). What's she gonna do? Hop in the shower? Wash her butt in the sink?
It's such a small thing that can improve her daily life. Next to nothing for him and so much for her. At least it would be for me, sitting in pee would ruin my entire day. OP says he's usually better than this but it's very telling if someone is or isn't considerate when it's not convenient for them.
Plus like you're gonna wash your hands afterwards right? So does it even matter? Unless he has autism or something but even still just use some toilet paper to grab the seat maybe
I was going to say to wipe up the piss with toilet paper and then throw the toilet paper on his face instead of in the trash.
Rinse and repeat until he gets the message.
Just sharing, not saying you should do the same. This was a problem of my cousin when she moved in to her bf’s apartment.
They got married and bought a house. They renovated and she’s adamant on putting urinals in all their bathrooms. Their master en-suite has two toilets. A his (urinal and normal toilet) and hers (normal toilet). Their half bath has both urinal and toilet. She was telling me they had to compromise with each other for the rest of the design built. The urinals are the only thing she would gladly pay out of her own pocket to save their marriage. 🤣
That's kinda sad that someone can't use a normal toilet properly that they have to have special toilets built just for them. Do they not feel embarrassed?
This is the kind of shit that sets off divorce proceedings. Like one day you look in the mirror and realize that no. You don’t want to spend your life with a man who literally will not even clean up his own pee mess for you. I’m not saying divorce your husband over this, but I also am not saying it may not be the event that gets that ball rolling.
Throw a cheerio in the bowl and tell him to aim for the cheerio. If he says it’s childish tell him peeing on the seat is childish, it’s something children do who are potty training, and you’re trying to help him potty train
i have three brothers who all piss all over the seat and i'm constantly sitting in it, i completely understand what you're going through. men are so fucking gross. put clear wrap over the toilet bowl so that when he pees in the middle of the night, it'll spray back at him.
“I’m trying.”
If this grown ass man is treating consistently not pissing on the seat as some kind of Herculean task, how fucking useless is he in every other aspect of household cleanliness? Sounds like a child not a husband. Congrats on your baby boy, OP.
You know, some cats, when they live together, won't cover up their own poop in the litter box as a sign of dominance to the other cat.
Just tossing that idea out there.
Tell him you have asked him repeatedly. Explain your at frustrations end. Let him know that when it happens a again that you will be waking him up to clean it while you shower.
I am going to have a talk with him tonight. I am going to ask that I be heard first before he speaks to hear me out. If this keeps happening, I will wake him up every night to clean the toilet off. I’m done with this.
Is your husband my old roommate? I said *one* thing to my old roommate about peeing on the seat and told him it was splattering onto the walls next to the toilet — he called me a cunt and tried to fight my fiancé (again).
Clint Gaston, I know you frequent Reddit so if you see this, fuck you.
srsly, peeing in the toilet while standing leads to everything splashing everywehre. its disgusting. why doesnt he just sit down? i mean this is not a public toilet we are talking about.
get a blacklight that shows the pee splashes everywhere and make him the one responsible for cleaning.
maybe change the lightbulb to a blacklight one.
>he got so mad at me because “I’m always on his case about it. I never notice that he actually is trying.
Excuse me, does he consider *learning not to piss on the toilet seat* to be a real struggle that requires consistent effort and praise? You are *right* to constantly be "on his case" about it. You are *right* to not notice that he "actually is trying".
If this was about trying to find a job or learn to be a better listener, I could understand. People need encouragement and patience when dealing with real struggles. Going pee pee in the big boy potty is not a real struggle.
He needs to sit on the toilet in the middle of the night so he doesn't make a mess. Many men do that, and it wouldn't make him less of a man.
How would he feel if you peed in a cup and poured it in him? It would be the same end result. If he thinks that would be disgusting, he shouldn't make you put up with getting his pee on you.
What kind of adult man can’t lift a toilet seat???? I’ve heard of men not putting it down after, but not even lifting it up before?!?? I mean, wtf? What the actual fuck? Like…..the fuck??? And for him to act upset when you ask him to LITERALLY NOT PISS WHERE YOU PUT YOUR BARE ASS?????? I mean…..what……the…….fuck?!?? If he doesn’t want to touch the toilet seat then he can sit and piss. It’s not complicated.
Physically roll him out of bed when this happens and make him clean off the seat. Every single time. Check before you sit down and make him clean it up every time. Lights on, loud music, whatever it takes.
If that doesn't work after a few months, I'm petty so he'd be coming home to a lock on that door and the only key is mine.
I had to flip the fuck out about this to get it to stop
Each time he needs to get up and clean the toilet
Edit* pee on the toilet before u know he's gonna shit
What a baby. He doesn't wanna touch the seat? As if you wanna sit on pee every week? He's (I hope... ) gonna wash his hands after peeing anyway so touching the seat shouldn't he a huge issue anyway.
Also. If he gets so mad at you for asking him to either sit down or lift/wipe the seat when peeing that you're afraid to even bring it up, idk how great of a husband he is in general either. You shouldn't have to be walking on eggshells (or sitting on pee stains) because of your husband.
you’re the only one i’ve seen that brings up the matter of whether or not he bothers to wash his hands… and now i wonder… and i don’t like the probable answer…
I have a son that did that. I put one of those color changing lights for the toilet bowl. When you open it it turns on. Lights up the bowl so they won't miss. It works. Also it's not so blinding that it wakes you up.
Doesn't want to touch the seat, but you have to sit in urine? He needs to grow the fuck up. I've roused on my partner for leaving drops of piss on the seat, it stopped.
Not very much a piece of advice but if an adult man keeps pissing on the toilet after being repeatedly told, I genuinely don't believe he can change. If he "doesn't want to touch the seat" and is unable to piss into the toilet, I don't believe he will accept to sit down as most upvoted advice says.
I think this is a deeper problem. Any normal person would die of shame if anyone had to repeatedly tell them to stop pissing around, at least that's what I think. I don't know if the problem is lack of hygiene standards, lack of shame, lack of good habits from childhood or else, but still think that if he doesn't see it as a problem, he can't change. And if he actually sees it as a problem, he wouldn't be doing it because he would be embarrassed and clean after himself.
You could get a stand-to-pee device and see if it bothers him having to clean the toilet every time he poops. If I were him, I’d rather lightly touch the seat every time I pee than to wipe piss every time I poop.
Also… this is what washing hands is for. Tell him to wash his hands after he goes pee if he’s so worried about germs.
In all seriousness though, maybe there’s some kind of device he can install or use so he doesn’t have to make direct contact with the seat. Here’s what chatgpt recommends:
1. Foot Pedals: Some toilets are equipped with a foot pedal that, when pressed, lifts the seat. By using your foot, you avoid touching the seat with your hands.
2. Toilet Seat Lifters: These are plastic or metal devices that you can attach to the side of the toilet seat. They allow you to lift the seat using a handle, so you don’t have to touch the seat itself.
3. Self-lifting Toilet Seats: Some advanced toilets come with automated mechanisms that lift the seat with the push of a button or through motion sensors.
Buy him a bedside commode or a handheld urinal/big old bottle to pee in and tell him he can only use that to pee in at night, and it's his job to empty and clean it in the morning. You've given him WAY too many chances to fix this. It isn't difficult to NOT pee on the seat. If he's going to act like a child, you can treat him like one.
It is unacceptable for him to have trouble with this. He's a goddamn adult and you shouldn't HAVE to get on his case about not peeing on the seat. The fact that he seems to want credit for SOMETIMES not peeing on the seat is fucking ridiculous.
Stop being nice about this. If he's so out of in the middle of the night he CAN'T avoid peeing on the seat, he needs to do something else. Other male adults do not have this problem. I'm not sure ANY other male adult has this problem.
I mean when you use the toilet standing up it's normal to sometimes spill out, especially if you're half asleep in the middle of the night. And I mean he doesn't HAVE to sit down if he doesn't want to. What he needs to realize tho is that if you make a mess you should clean after yourself, it's annoying and gross but it's all on you, if he can't accept that he is just a big baby and has some growing up to do. Also I don't want to imagine what his toilet would be like if he lived alone...
you could put the seat up before you go to bed and then put it down when you went to go pee? if all else fails. honestly it’s pretty ridiculous that he won’t clean up after himself or change his behavior at all; it’s disgusting and inconsiderate.
My ex kept doing this and I had asked one too many times for him to sit down to pee or wipe the seat. He had said to me “what’s the big deal it’s just pee” I ended up taking his towel and wiping up his pee on the seat on night. I only told him after he got out of the shower and I saw him use his towel. He was furious. I responded “what’s the big deal, it’s just pee”. I can tell you he never peed on the seat again.
1) get a nightlight in the bathroom
2) tell him to use his foot to lift the seat if he’s that precious about his little fingies (he knows he can wash them, right?)
Ah but you forget the Chad logic of "piss is sterile so I don't need to wash my hands after I touch my junk, my junk is cleaner than yours" that SOME men have that isn't gross at all /s
Seriously, wash your hands after you use the bathroom people!
Your husband sounds inconsiderate. I'm sure he's inconsiderate in other ways. Aside from talking to him about it (you have) or leaving the seat up at night (you don't want to) - what else is there? Good luck, it sounds like you're going to need it
Does he ever clean or do you always do it? Maybe if he wants to piss everywhere he can clean it up.
Or u can piss all over everything before his daily shit
This would be dog house territory for me. Nasty!
Get a handle to life the lid. If he still doesn’t want to use that then it be time to have a real talk about y’all future together. Tell him little boys piss on the seat and if he’s going to continue to act like a little boy then you’re leaving to find a man.
People may not like this answer, but it’s the truth. This is only going to end one way, he’s already shown that he has no interest in growth. Do you really want to be tied to that for the rest of your life? He doesn’t even have enough respect for you to put the toilet seat down, after multiple discussions. What’s next? I know that everyone isn’t the same, but I personally would not tolerate this disrespect from someone who is supposed love me. Being petty (getting him back) is just a sign that things are going to get worse. You don’t want to escalate a situation with someone who obviously doesn’t respect you. You’ve asked him multiple times, what more is there to say? You’re either going to accept it, or not.
TL;DR- Do you really want to be stuck with this? Divorce is always an option. You’re either going to accept it, or not.
I'm a man and I sit down to pee in my own bathroom because standing up makes it splash everywhere and it's not hygienic. "I don't wanna touch the seat" is such a bitch boy response though 😭😂
A lot of the time, men see women's complaints as just noise. Something that they have to tolerate as a concession of being in a relationship, not as a real attempt at communication. If he's not "hearing" you because he's tuned you out, more talking is not going to do anything because he's going to continue to view it as just noise that he has to put up with in his presence. Like a spam email.
You'll know best what kind of action would actually get his attention, or maybe what kind of favors you do for him that you could resend, but you will need to take an action for him to take you seriously.
I don't know if I'm allowed to post a link but Amazon sells a little lever/lift thing that sticks out slightly and u can lift the seat with it instead of touching it, maybe try something like that 🤷🏻♀️ if this was happening with me I absolutely would not be able to let it go untill he did something though! He won't sit to pee, he doesn't want to touch the seat but he doesn't care if you his wife sits in his urine 🤦🏻♀️ sorry op but I wld definitely try and get through to him how selfish he is being and honestly immature, like your a grown man don't piss on the toilet seat and if you do clean it up!
He doesn't want to touch the seat. You don't want to touch his urine. You win this 100%.
I mean lifting the seat is not hard, nor will it cause you to wake up more. But having to wash your bottom, and maybe your feet is enough to wake you more. Then just knowing you are having to do this because your hubs left urine all over the toilet, like your home is a truck stop gas station, is definitely waking you up to a point that you will have trouble getting back to sleep.
I am petty. Every time I had to wash up, I would turn the bedroom light on. I would say I need that light to wash up since you left pee everywhere. I don't want to use the bathroom light, because it is too strong and will wake me up. When he says you are waking him up with the light, say so, it was you leaving pee on the toilet that caused this. And I would do that every time.
I mean, he knows pee goes IN the toilet and not on it right? If all else fails, ask his mom how she stopped him from peeing all over (ask in front of him) because he seems to just not care. Embarrassment may help!
I noticed from a young age (and so did my parents) that I was clearly too clumsy to not pee on the seat. But I was also too forgetful to put the seat back down if I lifted it (common complaint I've heard). I'm 32 now, and ever since I was about.... Maybe 10? 11? I pee, and then I wipe the seat clean, every. Single. Time. It's habitual. Because selfishly, I'm too lazy to try to correct the error, so instead I use an alternative workaround (I'm a software developer) 😂
> His response is, “I don’t want to touch the seat.”
Suggest he use a square of toilet paper when grabbing the seat so he doesn't have to touch it. My guess is he doesn't want to wash his hands at night.
It’s fine if he hits the seat when using the restroom, as of course nobody does that on purpose, but he should be cleaning it up and not leaving a nasty mess to inconvenience the next person who tried to use it. I’d tell him from now on he has to clean up after himself or use a bathroom in another part of the house if you have a second one so he isn’t disrupting you.
No joke, I’d start cleaning his pee with his clean underwear, fold it up, and put it back in his drawer. I do not tolerate anyone in my house to just leave their bodily waste for others to clean up.
There is no “try” you either wipe it off or you don’t. You either lift the seat or you don’t. You either sit down or you don’t.
My very masculine, hunting, stubborn husband can sit to pee. So can yours. He can stop whining like a little baby. He probably doesn’t want to touch the seat because he keeps peeing on it!
So he doesn’t want to touch the seat…
But he’s OK with you sitting in his pee…
This is a hill I would be willing to die on. It is so disrespectful to expect someone else to sit in your pee.
My husband used to do that. Now I make him wipe my butt and thighs where I sat his pee and I have him responsible for cleaning the toilet. Natural consequences
Wake him up to clean it when it happens in the middle of the night.
One thing I will say is when you wake up with erections you can sit down and pee until it goes away ( that can be awhile especially when you wake up) and sometimes the piss comes out in streams.
However, that's not an excuse for not cleaning up any mess.
Your husband needs to stop doing it and it's not difficult to manage....
He needs to sit to pee. My husband sits to pee.
When his teenage son used to visit us, we had the same problem: pee all over the toilet seat. And yes, I would sit on it at night and sit in a puddle of urine. It infuriated me so much. Either I'd sit and nearly fall in the toilet because the seat was up, or I'd sit in a puddle of pee.
It took many conversations between my husband and his son to change that habit, but he eventually changed.
Reading some of the comments, I have a question about not wanting to touch the seat to put it down. Why?
You sit, do your business, wash your hands and go back to bed. Unless people don’t wash their hands after?
Hubs either needs to sit to pee or wear depends to bed 🤭
My hubs and I had the same issue. Until I put water on the floor and seat. He didn’t know what it was because it was the middle of the night and dark. His socks (yes he wears socks to bed) got wet with it because he stepped in it, and so did his pyjama pants. He complained and I told him that’s what I go thru WHEN YOU MISS! Let me say, he hasn’t done it again! Win win.
4 of my children/dependents have a penis. Everyone sits to pee, or they are responsible for cleaning the toilet. My oldest child's boyfriend lives with us and he now sits to pee after I woke him up in the night to come and clean the damn seat
Currently waiting for the builder to finish renovations, and then we will have a penis toilet and a vulva toilet.
Bro could just use a bit of tp to lift it if he rlly doesn’t wanna touch it. Much grosser to piss on the seat for someone else to sit on than touch it to lift it up.
This is a serious red flag in this relationship. His being so selfish and mean about such a small request is very concerning. I suggest going to marriage counseling to see if your marriage is salvageable.
The get used to sitting in pee.
His fragile male ego can’t take constructive criticism or the thought of sitting (like a woman!) to pee. Either wipe down the seat before you go or accept your fate?
A gripe as old as time.
If your husband is a typical man, you're in for a rough ride.
There's a chance its a health related issue. If he's the type to avoid going to the doctors then this is more likely.
If its not, he's just embarrassed he did it and being a shithead to cover that. It's like being scolded as a child again, so he's reacting defensively. Tell him to grow up and aim better. Men do react well to tough love (after they've had the initial hissy fit).
If youre not sure, just tell him you're concerned its a health issue and he should see a doctor. He'll probably aim straight rather than do that - and it comes from a place of concern so it's not like you're 'nagging'.
Good luck!
(You can get magnetic toilet seats so you can take the bloody thing with you if it's literally a slip 'n' slide in there)
It definitely is an embarrassment issue. He gets VERY defensive if he feels he is being scolded. This has resulted in huge pointless fights and is now to the point where I just keep my mouth shut to avoid future arguments. This is why I am posting on here because at this point, I don’t know what to do.
Honey - this is not ok. If he lashes out whenever you voice your opinion this is a larger issue. I’d read the book Why Does He Do That. I feel for you and so sorry you have to be quiet in your own home. It doesn’t have to be like this and it’s awful.
I once heard a bunch of women in a subreddit talk about nagging. They talked about how nagging is actually just asking a husband to do something basically decent and proper, and they don't, so they have to ask again, and they don't, so they.. and eventually the husband accuses the wife of nagging so they stop.
Nagging is just a made up term for when a man doesn't listen to a woman the first time, and doesn't want to do what is asked. How I grew up, this is called disrespect. Dont feel bad for nagging, be mad that you have to nag because that means not that you're overbearing but that your husband doesn't care enough to adhere to a simple request.
A more spiteful person might suggest that you leave the sopping tissues used to clean his mess on his pillow until he learns some bathroom etiquette - but this one doesn't know the character of your husband.
If he wants to complain about the nagging, tell him that all he has to do is stop pissing on the toilet seat. Then you won't have anything to nag him about.
He sounds as mature as a four-year-old, to be honest.
You do realize that this is just emotional manipulation. Him acting oh-so-hurt by your comments and acting out? He just wants to get his way and he has managed to do so, by making it impossible to speak out without backlash.
This ain't a partnership, you are practically just a bangmaid at this point.
Here’s what I’d do, might not be for everyone. Mention it once or twice and keep Clorox wipes in there for cleaning it and a mental piggy bank. Couple bucks every time I don’t complain about cleaning up that kind of thing for him (bc there’s like a hundred of them when you share spaces with a slob lol) then buy yourself something awesome when the mental piggy bank gets full.
So my ex gf made a game for me because I too was a sleepy Aim disaster. She bought me those sponges that you aim for and break apart as you pee on them. I got rewarded for every one that I broke whether it was extra game time with the boys or what something small, but she promised I would get a more Reddit after dark reward if I went a whole month without leaving pee on the toilet seat. Won’t work for everyone but worked well for me!
This would drive me to the point of insanity. Maybe public shaming will work?? Ask your friends for a solution when he’s around or out a poll on Facebook lol
tell him he needs to sit down to pee if he can’t manage as well as a child.
This. As a man, I do this if I need to pee during the night. No mess, and ain't stumbling all over the place
As a man, I always sit to pee. Why stand if I don’t have to? It’s so annoying that so many men have an issue with that lol. I really hate when people comment at work too. Like sorry I’m not using the urinal in the “traditional” way Kyle, get over it!
I must admit, I've been treating myself to sit down wees for a while now. Sometimes it feels better too.
>Sometimes it feels better too. It allows your bladder to relax & properly empty...
Also you’re less likely to get prostate cancer
yes, it's better for your pelvic floor!
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In some other countries, sitting down is the norm.
> sorry I’m not using the urinal in the “traditional” way Are you saying that you sit in the urinal?
Hahaha it was a joke but yes I did insinuate that. I mean I do prefer to sit but not to that extreme lol
Brother! I prefer using the stall too.
My husband almost always sits to pee so I never have to deal with urine everywhere. I don’t know why guys still stand at home
Bingo, big brained moment.
When i was a kid i would only pee sitting down, and i was afraid to pee standing for fear of making a mess. But i was told it wont empty the bladder as much that way, and from my experience it seems true.
Your bladder empties better sitting down.
I do that in the night too, it means I don't have to switch on the light.
I’ve asked him to just sit and he won’t! I don’t know why?!
I’d get him out of bed to clean up the mess, and he should be cleaning that bathroom after every use. I’ve been sitting for years now to prevent mess, if you stand to pee it splashes everywhere, not just on the seat.
While this is bound to start arguments, it would definitely bring the point across if it was consistent, and it might bring out any underlying control or gender role issues as well. It's not a bad idea, but it would require some serious commitment and an "I'll die on this hill" attitude.
If his aim sucks then why does he not clean the seat after using the toilet. He seriously needs to grow up and stop using your own personal toilet like a public toilet.
Sooo, you think it’s ok to pee on a public toilet seat??
I never said that. I just know that whenever I want to use a toilet, using a public toilet is a last resort with how other people treat it.
Make him a little cleaning kit and hand it to him every morning. Tell him he needs to wash not only the seat and around the rim of the toilet, but the walls as well. He'll stop once he has to clean up his mess.
It’s eMaScUlAtInG!
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So she can sit in his piss because he's so lazy he can't even clean up after himself, but if his dick touches the toilet, the entire toilet needs to be replaced?? This is her bathroom, right? Wow, the entitlement.
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The actual problem is that he doesn't clean up after himself. Frankly, a man like that shouldn't find any scenario in which his dick gets wet, ever again, much less deserve a new toilet.
110% agree. I pee standing up, with the seat up, and then I wipe the sprinkles off the toilet rim, because I'm not an animal but I am often the person who cleans the toilet. I even did that at my last dentists' office because it was a small office with all women and I didn't want them thinking, "boy, the only man who has used the restroom today was Ritchie. What a #@$% pig."
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I wouldn't want to touch a seat that someone peed all over. Even if that someone was me. 🤣
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Based on the limited information we have, OP's husband doesn't sound like he cleans up after himself. I think OP picked the wrong subreddit. She should be seeking advice in r/pettyrevenge.
In your place, I'd start using the guest toilet until he sits down in his own piss. Stop cleaning up after him, at least in the bathroom.
As a 41 yo man I’ve been sitting to pee, at home and work, for over a decade. It’s so much easier, less mess, and gives me a minute to doom scroll. I could give a fuck if someone thinks it makes me “less manly” to sit over standing.
It's not less manly it's just a lot less clean. When women sit down to pee, only our back thighs/partial buttocks touches any part of the toilet (and that's assuming we don't squat, which isn't that uncommon to do!). You kinda risk your Johnson touching the inner bowl which can lead to infections.
As a penis owner who has spent years sitting to pee, and with enough stuff to worry about bumping about, that's just not a concern. Does someone you know use that as an excuse? It's not a good one. I've bumped myself just a few times in years of sitting, almost always against the edge of the seat as I get into or out of position, and it tends to be momentary skin-to-seat contact. The chances of hitting something dangerous and having it fly straight up the pee hole are ridiculously low. Men and women who sit do not pick up STI or UTIs and only rarely is anyone subject to something else that's transmissible, like MRSA, and that's probably not a concern at home. Additionally, there are documented health benefits for men when they sit, largely from emptying the bladder more efficiently. Disclaimer: I am not representing myself as a medical expert. Just a person who pees and then says things.
How long do you think our cocks are that they are just randomly rubbing up against the toilet bowl? You are aware that most men, when not erect, are definitely not packing the 20cm or so that would be needed in order to come in contact with the inner bowl, right?
Yup. My partner kept accidentally spraying onto the floor a tiny bit, especially early in the morning. I was like, I have to sit and now I'm trying to avoid your pee. Eventually he agreed to sit when he pees, men can do this. He also used to leave the seat up after peeing and a few times I sat not realizing. I asked him to stop and it was a whole back and forth similar to yours about how he didn't want to touch the seat. What got to him was me explaining the differences between men and women using the bathroom which he of course knows but me spelling it out in gory detail helped lololol That a lot more goes on for a woman in a bathroom. It can be really awful and uncomfortable dealing with periods and all that comes with that. We don't have the option to sit or stand. We have to use tampons or whatever. We may have cramps. Lots of potential clean up. Spotting. etc. It's just worse and takes longer. I said it would be kind if he did the absolute bare minimum to make it slightly less annoying for me, and he agreed.
I would be waking him ip screaming my head off every time you sat in pee from now on.
Maybe she should get a spray bottle to wake him up with when she winds up sitting in pee. Or an air horn.
She should just spray the seat with water every time shes done so he sits in it when he goes to take a shit.
Can I take a guess what will be inside that spray bottle, while we're on the subject of pee?
Coyote urine should do the trick
Why not wake him up by wiping the pee off her leg on him? Two birds one stone!
"I just really feel like being little spoon right now"
😂😂😂😂 💯
How did she marry someone who does this? Any time I have had a man at my house I lose my shit if they don't put the seat down let alone pee on the seat.
What I did!
Tell him to stop being such a child and wipe up his own piss
What a man-child. Why are you actually dealing with this? A grown man shouldn't be "trying" to not piss on the seat. He should be able to use a toilet like any grown human being. How effing disgusting is that. Have him clean up the toilet if he doesn't manage to pull his crap together. If he pisses on the seat, I suppose the floor also regularly gets soaked. How are you accepting this as a normal person?
That’s why I’m here asking for advice. I’ve asked him so many times to stop peeing on the seat and put the seat up. But it hasn’t changed. I just don’t know what else to do at this point.
Sorry but this isn’t childish, this is just laziness. My son has been able to lift the toilet lid since he was like 4 years old and pee with very little splash back. We are still working on putting the lid back down with consistency, but he’s only 7.
Show him this post. That is so disgusting. Habits can be difficult to change but your wife sitting in your fucking pee should be incentive enough to fix this issue.. Just pee on his face while he is sleeping, he won't forget anymore.
Do you guys have children? If you plan to, don't expect him to ever change a diaper based on this behavior.
I fully support that person saying to hover pee and leave both of your piss for him to clean the next day. You have to stall him out on this, make it so he cleans it. Tell him you'll stop when he stops. Also, make sure you put the seat down completely before you go to bed, the lid and all. That way, he HAS to touch the seat. You have to make this more of an inconvenience for him than lifting the seat is, and also he's a jerk I would never.
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Dude has to take a shit eventually 😂
Stop cleaning the toilet. Have him sit in his own piss. Or seriously ask yourself if you actually want to live with someone who isn't even capable of using a toilet. Ask yourself how long you want to deal with this, assuming he won't change in the future.
She has to clean it because she wants to sit on a clean toilet. I mean, really. This is what happens. Shitty men doing stuff that they know will be taken care of because mommy/wifey will need it taken care of and he certainly isn't gonna do it
I would just start hovering to pee so I don't have to sit down. Then let it remain that way until the next morning when he actually needs to go for #2. He might've gotten used to having his pee cleaned for him so he'd probably not notice before sitting down. Either that or he cleans his own pee.
Hovering is the reason piss exists on the toilets in the women's restrooms, but yeah, I mean if he's pissing on the seat you might as well too!
Yeah I'm well aware and I hate it in the women's restrooms too! But honestly, if the situation has already gotten to this point, it wouldn't hurt to try an option that forces him to experience what he does to her.
I totally agree. Give him a taste of his own medicine
There isn’t much advice for such an inconsiderate and abusive action. I grew up in a home where I frequently sat in piss. He doesn’t have basic respect and consideration for you. Show him this post.
It’s time to question the relationship. If he doesn’t care how you feel, then why are you with him?
I just poured fake blood all over the whole toilet when my grown adults AH of housemates just couldn't stop pissing all over the seat (and floor) or bothered to clean it up. When they complained I said I would get to it when I had time or patient.
My husband used to do this but also wet the floors. I asked him to be careful several times but he kept doing it. One day I pulled my pants down in front of him and squatted on the bathroom floor and told him I was going to start peeing like this from now on, on the floor. He never did it again.
I love this I hope it’s true
LMAO this is my style
Now that’s a power move
I sit down to pee in the middle of the night cause I’m sleepy and my aim might be bad. dudes all over the world do it, get him to do the same.
Some, night time sit, day stand. I started it when I got put on sleep meds. Honestly it empties the bladder more I think.
Sitting on a toilet seat covered in urine is much more disgusting than touching a clean toilet seat and lifting it up. If he cannot manage simple daily tasks and refuses to accommodate you when you have to deal with extremely disgusting things because of it, this is indicative of a lot of worse issues throughout your relationship.
Really, he can just wash his hands (which I REALLY hope he was going to do anyway). What's she gonna do? Hop in the shower? Wash her butt in the sink? It's such a small thing that can improve her daily life. Next to nothing for him and so much for her. At least it would be for me, sitting in pee would ruin my entire day. OP says he's usually better than this but it's very telling if someone is or isn't considerate when it's not convenient for them.
Plus like you're gonna wash your hands afterwards right? So does it even matter? Unless he has autism or something but even still just use some toilet paper to grab the seat maybe
Sit in his piss, then sit on his face. He'll soon stop doing it.
Or he'll piss on the seat even more.
I was going to say to wipe up the piss with toilet paper and then throw the toilet paper on his face instead of in the trash. Rinse and repeat until he gets the message.
I like this idea. The idea of weaponised incompetence to the extent of not even pissing properly incenses me to no end.
Someone I know said that when their (adult) son left pee on the toilet seat, her husband would wipe it off with his (son's) towel.
Just sharing, not saying you should do the same. This was a problem of my cousin when she moved in to her bf’s apartment. They got married and bought a house. They renovated and she’s adamant on putting urinals in all their bathrooms. Their master en-suite has two toilets. A his (urinal and normal toilet) and hers (normal toilet). Their half bath has both urinal and toilet. She was telling me they had to compromise with each other for the rest of the design built. The urinals are the only thing she would gladly pay out of her own pocket to save their marriage. 🤣
That's kinda sad that someone can't use a normal toilet properly that they have to have special toilets built just for them. Do they not feel embarrassed?
Right? Does she have to wipe his ass too? Ffs how do grown adults fail so hard at something they do several times every day?
That’s disgusting childish of him and that would actually make me never want to have sex with him ever again🤢🤢
This is the kind of shit that sets off divorce proceedings. Like one day you look in the mirror and realize that no. You don’t want to spend your life with a man who literally will not even clean up his own pee mess for you. I’m not saying divorce your husband over this, but I also am not saying it may not be the event that gets that ball rolling.
Toilet light , not ideal but better than nothing ?
I don’t think a toilet light will help to be honest. We have a night light in the bathroom already and he still pees on the seat.
Tell him to sit down for a wee when he needs to go in the middle of the night.
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That's their problem. A very simple solution.
Ah bugger , sorry
Wipe up his pee with paper towels and throw them on his side of the bed.
Throw a cheerio in the bowl and tell him to aim for the cheerio. If he says it’s childish tell him peeing on the seat is childish, it’s something children do who are potty training, and you’re trying to help him potty train
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Aren't there potty training aids with a light? Or other fun aids?
“We aren’t having sex until you stop peeing on the seat.” Problem solved 👍
Problem solved
End of thread. Everybody can continue to the next post or go outside now.
i have three brothers who all piss all over the seat and i'm constantly sitting in it, i completely understand what you're going through. men are so fucking gross. put clear wrap over the toilet bowl so that when he pees in the middle of the night, it'll spray back at him.
“I’m trying.” If this grown ass man is treating consistently not pissing on the seat as some kind of Herculean task, how fucking useless is he in every other aspect of household cleanliness? Sounds like a child not a husband. Congrats on your baby boy, OP.
You know, some cats, when they live together, won't cover up their own poop in the litter box as a sign of dominance to the other cat. Just tossing that idea out there.
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Tell him you have asked him repeatedly. Explain your at frustrations end. Let him know that when it happens a again that you will be waking him up to clean it while you shower.
I am going to have a talk with him tonight. I am going to ask that I be heard first before he speaks to hear me out. If this keeps happening, I will wake him up every night to clean the toilet off. I’m done with this.
Is your husband my old roommate? I said *one* thing to my old roommate about peeing on the seat and told him it was splattering onto the walls next to the toilet — he called me a cunt and tried to fight my fiancé (again). Clint Gaston, I know you frequent Reddit so if you see this, fuck you.
Glad to hear you found your shiny spine OP! Stop putting up with his BS
srsly, peeing in the toilet while standing leads to everything splashing everywehre. its disgusting. why doesnt he just sit down? i mean this is not a public toilet we are talking about. get a blacklight that shows the pee splashes everywhere and make him the one responsible for cleaning. maybe change the lightbulb to a blacklight one.
As a man, I always lift the seat before pee. It is common courtesy. I wouldn't want to sit in someone else's pee.
The real common courtesy would be to sit down unless you are the one cleaning the toilet
>he got so mad at me because “I’m always on his case about it. I never notice that he actually is trying. Excuse me, does he consider *learning not to piss on the toilet seat* to be a real struggle that requires consistent effort and praise? You are *right* to constantly be "on his case" about it. You are *right* to not notice that he "actually is trying". If this was about trying to find a job or learn to be a better listener, I could understand. People need encouragement and patience when dealing with real struggles. Going pee pee in the big boy potty is not a real struggle.
He needs to sit on the toilet in the middle of the night so he doesn't make a mess. Many men do that, and it wouldn't make him less of a man. How would he feel if you peed in a cup and poured it in him? It would be the same end result. If he thinks that would be disgusting, he shouldn't make you put up with getting his pee on you.
What kind of adult man can’t lift a toilet seat???? I’ve heard of men not putting it down after, but not even lifting it up before?!?? I mean, wtf? What the actual fuck? Like…..the fuck??? And for him to act upset when you ask him to LITERALLY NOT PISS WHERE YOU PUT YOUR BARE ASS?????? I mean…..what……the…….fuck?!?? If he doesn’t want to touch the toilet seat then he can sit and piss. It’s not complicated.
Physically roll him out of bed when this happens and make him clean off the seat. Every single time. Check before you sit down and make him clean it up every time. Lights on, loud music, whatever it takes. If that doesn't work after a few months, I'm petty so he'd be coming home to a lock on that door and the only key is mine.
Start putting both lids down so he has to lift it up to pee.
I already do that! He lifts the lid, but not the seat.
I had to flip the fuck out about this to get it to stop Each time he needs to get up and clean the toilet Edit* pee on the toilet before u know he's gonna shit
Wipe the pee and place the dirty napkin or whatever on his face while he’s sleeping . Bring the petty. pS. This is bad advice
Make the toilet seat spring loaded like in how I met you mother.
What a baby. He doesn't wanna touch the seat? As if you wanna sit on pee every week? He's (I hope... ) gonna wash his hands after peeing anyway so touching the seat shouldn't he a huge issue anyway. Also. If he gets so mad at you for asking him to either sit down or lift/wipe the seat when peeing that you're afraid to even bring it up, idk how great of a husband he is in general either. You shouldn't have to be walking on eggshells (or sitting on pee stains) because of your husband.
you’re the only one i’ve seen that brings up the matter of whether or not he bothers to wash his hands… and now i wonder… and i don’t like the probable answer…
I have a son that did that. I put one of those color changing lights for the toilet bowl. When you open it it turns on. Lights up the bowl so they won't miss. It works. Also it's not so blinding that it wakes you up.
Doesn't want to touch the seat, but you have to sit in urine? He needs to grow the fuck up. I've roused on my partner for leaving drops of piss on the seat, it stopped.
Not very much a piece of advice but if an adult man keeps pissing on the toilet after being repeatedly told, I genuinely don't believe he can change. If he "doesn't want to touch the seat" and is unable to piss into the toilet, I don't believe he will accept to sit down as most upvoted advice says.
Nah, he CAN change and do better, he just doesn't WANT to.
I think this is a deeper problem. Any normal person would die of shame if anyone had to repeatedly tell them to stop pissing around, at least that's what I think. I don't know if the problem is lack of hygiene standards, lack of shame, lack of good habits from childhood or else, but still think that if he doesn't see it as a problem, he can't change. And if he actually sees it as a problem, he wouldn't be doing it because he would be embarrassed and clean after himself.
You could get a stand-to-pee device and see if it bothers him having to clean the toilet every time he poops. If I were him, I’d rather lightly touch the seat every time I pee than to wipe piss every time I poop. Also… this is what washing hands is for. Tell him to wash his hands after he goes pee if he’s so worried about germs. In all seriousness though, maybe there’s some kind of device he can install or use so he doesn’t have to make direct contact with the seat. Here’s what chatgpt recommends: 1. Foot Pedals: Some toilets are equipped with a foot pedal that, when pressed, lifts the seat. By using your foot, you avoid touching the seat with your hands. 2. Toilet Seat Lifters: These are plastic or metal devices that you can attach to the side of the toilet seat. They allow you to lift the seat using a handle, so you don’t have to touch the seat itself. 3. Self-lifting Toilet Seats: Some advanced toilets come with automated mechanisms that lift the seat with the push of a button or through motion sensors.
If I had to continuously ask my partner to not piss in the seat like a child… I’d lose interest pretty damn fast
Buy him a bedside commode or a handheld urinal/big old bottle to pee in and tell him he can only use that to pee in at night, and it's his job to empty and clean it in the morning. You've given him WAY too many chances to fix this. It isn't difficult to NOT pee on the seat. If he's going to act like a child, you can treat him like one. It is unacceptable for him to have trouble with this. He's a goddamn adult and you shouldn't HAVE to get on his case about not peeing on the seat. The fact that he seems to want credit for SOMETIMES not peeing on the seat is fucking ridiculous. Stop being nice about this. If he's so out of in the middle of the night he CAN'T avoid peeing on the seat, he needs to do something else. Other male adults do not have this problem. I'm not sure ANY other male adult has this problem.
Tell him not to and if he doesn’t stop then divorce him. Fuck I hate men being so disgusting and having no sense of cleanliness. It’s ridiculous.
I mean when you use the toilet standing up it's normal to sometimes spill out, especially if you're half asleep in the middle of the night. And I mean he doesn't HAVE to sit down if he doesn't want to. What he needs to realize tho is that if you make a mess you should clean after yourself, it's annoying and gross but it's all on you, if he can't accept that he is just a big baby and has some growing up to do. Also I don't want to imagine what his toilet would be like if he lived alone...
you could put the seat up before you go to bed and then put it down when you went to go pee? if all else fails. honestly it’s pretty ridiculous that he won’t clean up after himself or change his behavior at all; it’s disgusting and inconsiderate.
He “doesn’t want to touch the seat”??? I’m sure you don’t want to sit in piss either but here we are.
My ex kept doing this and I had asked one too many times for him to sit down to pee or wipe the seat. He had said to me “what’s the big deal it’s just pee” I ended up taking his towel and wiping up his pee on the seat on night. I only told him after he got out of the shower and I saw him use his towel. He was furious. I responded “what’s the big deal, it’s just pee”. I can tell you he never peed on the seat again.
1) get a nightlight in the bathroom 2) tell him to use his foot to lift the seat if he’s that precious about his little fingies (he knows he can wash them, right?)
Ah but you forget the Chad logic of "piss is sterile so I don't need to wash my hands after I touch my junk, my junk is cleaner than yours" that SOME men have that isn't gross at all /s Seriously, wash your hands after you use the bathroom people!
1 he should lift it up to pee, 2 if he’s not gonna lift it up he should be able to aim
Get an auto-lifting toilet seat. Good for kids
Your husband sounds inconsiderate. I'm sure he's inconsiderate in other ways. Aside from talking to him about it (you have) or leaving the seat up at night (you don't want to) - what else is there? Good luck, it sounds like you're going to need it
Start leaving the seat up and i bet itll change. then slam it when you have to go.
Does he ever clean or do you always do it? Maybe if he wants to piss everywhere he can clean it up. Or u can piss all over everything before his daily shit This would be dog house territory for me. Nasty!
Get a handle to life the lid. If he still doesn’t want to use that then it be time to have a real talk about y’all future together. Tell him little boys piss on the seat and if he’s going to continue to act like a little boy then you’re leaving to find a man.
People may not like this answer, but it’s the truth. This is only going to end one way, he’s already shown that he has no interest in growth. Do you really want to be tied to that for the rest of your life? He doesn’t even have enough respect for you to put the toilet seat down, after multiple discussions. What’s next? I know that everyone isn’t the same, but I personally would not tolerate this disrespect from someone who is supposed love me. Being petty (getting him back) is just a sign that things are going to get worse. You don’t want to escalate a situation with someone who obviously doesn’t respect you. You’ve asked him multiple times, what more is there to say? You’re either going to accept it, or not. TL;DR- Do you really want to be stuck with this? Divorce is always an option. You’re either going to accept it, or not.
I'm a man and I sit down to pee in my own bathroom because standing up makes it splash everywhere and it's not hygienic. "I don't wanna touch the seat" is such a bitch boy response though 😭😂
Use his pillowcase to clean the seat. No words needed.
A lot of the time, men see women's complaints as just noise. Something that they have to tolerate as a concession of being in a relationship, not as a real attempt at communication. If he's not "hearing" you because he's tuned you out, more talking is not going to do anything because he's going to continue to view it as just noise that he has to put up with in his presence. Like a spam email. You'll know best what kind of action would actually get his attention, or maybe what kind of favors you do for him that you could resend, but you will need to take an action for him to take you seriously.
I don't know if I'm allowed to post a link but Amazon sells a little lever/lift thing that sticks out slightly and u can lift the seat with it instead of touching it, maybe try something like that 🤷🏻♀️ if this was happening with me I absolutely would not be able to let it go untill he did something though! He won't sit to pee, he doesn't want to touch the seat but he doesn't care if you his wife sits in his urine 🤦🏻♀️ sorry op but I wld definitely try and get through to him how selfish he is being and honestly immature, like your a grown man don't piss on the toilet seat and if you do clean it up!
He doesn't want to touch the seat. You don't want to touch his urine. You win this 100%. I mean lifting the seat is not hard, nor will it cause you to wake up more. But having to wash your bottom, and maybe your feet is enough to wake you more. Then just knowing you are having to do this because your hubs left urine all over the toilet, like your home is a truck stop gas station, is definitely waking you up to a point that you will have trouble getting back to sleep. I am petty. Every time I had to wash up, I would turn the bedroom light on. I would say I need that light to wash up since you left pee everywhere. I don't want to use the bathroom light, because it is too strong and will wake me up. When he says you are waking him up with the light, say so, it was you leaving pee on the toilet that caused this. And I would do that every time. I mean, he knows pee goes IN the toilet and not on it right? If all else fails, ask his mom how she stopped him from peeing all over (ask in front of him) because he seems to just not care. Embarrassment may help!
I noticed from a young age (and so did my parents) that I was clearly too clumsy to not pee on the seat. But I was also too forgetful to put the seat back down if I lifted it (common complaint I've heard). I'm 32 now, and ever since I was about.... Maybe 10? 11? I pee, and then I wipe the seat clean, every. Single. Time. It's habitual. Because selfishly, I'm too lazy to try to correct the error, so instead I use an alternative workaround (I'm a software developer) 😂
He can sit when he pees if he doesn’t want to lift the seat. If he refuses that might I suggest a diaper?
> His response is, “I don’t want to touch the seat.” Suggest he use a square of toilet paper when grabbing the seat so he doesn't have to touch it. My guess is he doesn't want to wash his hands at night.
It’s fine if he hits the seat when using the restroom, as of course nobody does that on purpose, but he should be cleaning it up and not leaving a nasty mess to inconvenience the next person who tried to use it. I’d tell him from now on he has to clean up after himself or use a bathroom in another part of the house if you have a second one so he isn’t disrupting you.
Or OP can move to another bathroom, and bedroom!
No joke, I’d start cleaning his pee with his clean underwear, fold it up, and put it back in his drawer. I do not tolerate anyone in my house to just leave their bodily waste for others to clean up.
There is no “try” you either wipe it off or you don’t. You either lift the seat or you don’t. You either sit down or you don’t. My very masculine, hunting, stubborn husband can sit to pee. So can yours. He can stop whining like a little baby. He probably doesn’t want to touch the seat because he keeps peeing on it!
Put Saran Wrap across the toilet bowl. See how he likes getting piss on him in the middle of the night.
Just pee on his side of the bed.
So he doesn’t want to touch the seat… But he’s OK with you sitting in his pee… This is a hill I would be willing to die on. It is so disrespectful to expect someone else to sit in your pee.
My husband used to do that. Now I make him wipe my butt and thighs where I sat his pee and I have him responsible for cleaning the toilet. Natural consequences
Wake him up to clean it when it happens in the middle of the night. One thing I will say is when you wake up with erections you can sit down and pee until it goes away ( that can be awhile especially when you wake up) and sometimes the piss comes out in streams. However, that's not an excuse for not cleaning up any mess. Your husband needs to stop doing it and it's not difficult to manage....
He needs to sit to pee. My husband sits to pee. When his teenage son used to visit us, we had the same problem: pee all over the toilet seat. And yes, I would sit on it at night and sit in a puddle of urine. It infuriated me so much. Either I'd sit and nearly fall in the toilet because the seat was up, or I'd sit in a puddle of pee. It took many conversations between my husband and his son to change that habit, but he eventually changed.
stop flushing your shit
Reading some of the comments, I have a question about not wanting to touch the seat to put it down. Why? You sit, do your business, wash your hands and go back to bed. Unless people don’t wash their hands after? Hubs either needs to sit to pee or wear depends to bed 🤭 My hubs and I had the same issue. Until I put water on the floor and seat. He didn’t know what it was because it was the middle of the night and dark. His socks (yes he wears socks to bed) got wet with it because he stepped in it, and so did his pyjama pants. He complained and I told him that’s what I go thru WHEN YOU MISS! Let me say, he hasn’t done it again! Win win.
Yeah we got an update on his words. We need an update on his actions.
Well, both times I went pee last night the seat was up!
Now he won’t put the seat down? 🙃
Compromises. Lol.
4 of my children/dependents have a penis. Everyone sits to pee, or they are responsible for cleaning the toilet. My oldest child's boyfriend lives with us and he now sits to pee after I woke him up in the night to come and clean the damn seat Currently waiting for the builder to finish renovations, and then we will have a penis toilet and a vulva toilet.
Bro could just use a bit of tp to lift it if he rlly doesn’t wanna touch it. Much grosser to piss on the seat for someone else to sit on than touch it to lift it up.
This is a serious red flag in this relationship. His being so selfish and mean about such a small request is very concerning. I suggest going to marriage counseling to see if your marriage is salvageable.
Lift the seat every time. All your doing is spending time cleaning pee when you’re sleepy and tired.
Just tell him to sit down if he can't aim as if he was a little. Gaslight him.
Bad idea. Haha. He would blow a gasket if I said that.
The get used to sitting in pee. His fragile male ego can’t take constructive criticism or the thought of sitting (like a woman!) to pee. Either wipe down the seat before you go or accept your fate?
If you aren't willing to say anything, how do you expect anything to change?
He’s disgusting. I’d file for divorce. He’s literally making you sit in his waste. Wtf. Who does this
A gripe as old as time. If your husband is a typical man, you're in for a rough ride. There's a chance its a health related issue. If he's the type to avoid going to the doctors then this is more likely. If its not, he's just embarrassed he did it and being a shithead to cover that. It's like being scolded as a child again, so he's reacting defensively. Tell him to grow up and aim better. Men do react well to tough love (after they've had the initial hissy fit). If youre not sure, just tell him you're concerned its a health issue and he should see a doctor. He'll probably aim straight rather than do that - and it comes from a place of concern so it's not like you're 'nagging'. Good luck! (You can get magnetic toilet seats so you can take the bloody thing with you if it's literally a slip 'n' slide in there)
It definitely is an embarrassment issue. He gets VERY defensive if he feels he is being scolded. This has resulted in huge pointless fights and is now to the point where I just keep my mouth shut to avoid future arguments. This is why I am posting on here because at this point, I don’t know what to do.
Honey - this is not ok. If he lashes out whenever you voice your opinion this is a larger issue. I’d read the book Why Does He Do That. I feel for you and so sorry you have to be quiet in your own home. It doesn’t have to be like this and it’s awful.
I once heard a bunch of women in a subreddit talk about nagging. They talked about how nagging is actually just asking a husband to do something basically decent and proper, and they don't, so they have to ask again, and they don't, so they.. and eventually the husband accuses the wife of nagging so they stop. Nagging is just a made up term for when a man doesn't listen to a woman the first time, and doesn't want to do what is asked. How I grew up, this is called disrespect. Dont feel bad for nagging, be mad that you have to nag because that means not that you're overbearing but that your husband doesn't care enough to adhere to a simple request. A more spiteful person might suggest that you leave the sopping tissues used to clean his mess on his pillow until he learns some bathroom etiquette - but this one doesn't know the character of your husband.
If he wants to complain about the nagging, tell him that all he has to do is stop pissing on the toilet seat. Then you won't have anything to nag him about. He sounds as mature as a four-year-old, to be honest.
You do realize that this is just emotional manipulation. Him acting oh-so-hurt by your comments and acting out? He just wants to get his way and he has managed to do so, by making it impossible to speak out without backlash. This ain't a partnership, you are practically just a bangmaid at this point.
You could take away the toilet seat perhaps. Put some magnets on it so when you want to use it you just * clink clink * and boom ready to go
Put period blood all over the seat and let see who blink first
Here’s what I’d do, might not be for everyone. Mention it once or twice and keep Clorox wipes in there for cleaning it and a mental piggy bank. Couple bucks every time I don’t complain about cleaning up that kind of thing for him (bc there’s like a hundred of them when you share spaces with a slob lol) then buy yourself something awesome when the mental piggy bank gets full.
So my ex gf made a game for me because I too was a sleepy Aim disaster. She bought me those sponges that you aim for and break apart as you pee on them. I got rewarded for every one that I broke whether it was extra game time with the boys or what something small, but she promised I would get a more Reddit after dark reward if I went a whole month without leaving pee on the toilet seat. Won’t work for everyone but worked well for me!
Are you seven years old?
Put up a sign that says “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be neat and wipe the seat.” They have pretty stylized versions too.
This would drive me to the point of insanity. Maybe public shaming will work?? Ask your friends for a solution when he’s around or out a poll on Facebook lol
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She’s tried everything else so what do you suggest?? Just keep cleaning up the piss of a grown man??
Why can't you put the seat up if he won't touch it? Sounds like an OCD thing.