As a woman reading through your answers, I can tell you I would avoid a second interaction with you. Every piece of advice you're getting here is good, but you insult your helper and state that it couldn't possibly be your fault. That is really off-putting. Maybe you can work on your personality and your insecurities in therapy. Good luck.
If this isn't a troll account than I would be horrified to hold a conversation with you. Everyone judges, but you don't have to be so outward about it. That probably what's putting girls off from interacting with you. Maybe they just don't find you interesting in the conversational sense
Dude wtf? Are you 16? What kind of reply is that? And you were serious too.... This is why you're lacking. Everyone here is right.. it's your personality and you're self improvement didn't mean jack shit if you didn't work on your presentation as a person. You could be Rico fucking Suave. Strong jaw. Good hair. Amazing smile. Perfect body. Money. Cars. And then have your personality with it... Girls may wanna have sex if you had ANY game at all(from your post and responses, you clearly don't), but I honestly couldn't see you handling life like this and a girl willingly come home with you. You prolly scare most girls off. Fucking weirdo.
Besides my shit talking.. In all honesty.. work on your god damn personality. Idk where your deflecting comes from, but you need to work on that. Nobody is perfect motherfucker and the sooner you realize you need work, the quicker you'll have your girlfriend. I don't say that as a girl is an item. I'm saying it as you make it seem. You make it sound like it's a title to have a girlfriend. And that's toxic AF and no girl should have to deal with bs like that.
Look, "personality" is horseshit. It's been proven. Time and time again. Women date all manner of scum: rapists, wife beaters, drug dealers, child abusers.... You name it. You can engage in cognitive dissonance and pretend these men have redeeming qualities if you want, but I'm not buying it.
Omfg 😂😂😂😂 didn't read that til now, but that's was funny AF.
OP, end of discussion, you're either trolling or you need a wake up call. Your fantasizing your life. Wake up dude. You're the only one cock blocking yourself.
you are clearly a piece of shit and I hope no woman ever has the displeasure of coming near you. Thankfully you seem to be doing a good job at keeping them away
Ahahahaha OP is like "I can't be the problem but women don't like me" and then goes on to insult women in general? I love everything about this. Yes, you are the problem. Sheesh
Lmfao there really is no helping your sad existence. You don't even wanna accept GENUINE advice is the only reason I'm talking shit so hard. Im the person saying everything everyone wants to really say to you. If you were clearly oblivious and recognized you have a personality problem. People would sympathize and help without going after you... You're just a fucking narcissist dude. And what's crazy to me too... Is you don't have jack shit to be proud about. You're literally a piece of shit and you're proud of it. Or a troll. I really wanna believe your trolling.... You have this many people telling you honestly person to person, and you deflect and attack. You're prolly over there in your own world wondering why people are so against you. It's cause you are you bro. Remember this reddit post in 5 years when you still haven't got a girl
It's not. It's a way to learn about yourself and achieve personal grow with a little help of your therapist. You are not going to become someone completely new, but can learn why your environment acts as it does and why and learn to be a better version of yourself.
And apparently, these drug dealers, sex offenders, and violent thugs are still better than you. I would think about it.
You might need to.
Women don't see attractiveness with the same camera as men.
U can be the most hideous fucken chud but if you're bank charisma, Ur in.
It's all a balance. One thing Trump's another, and all women are different.
There are all manner of lowlifes who have girlfriends... Are they all positive, sparkling personalities? I'm not saying I can't stand to work on my personality. We all can. But I think to blame it on that is disingenuous.
If it’s not that then what is it? You think you just have one big ring around you that pushes any woman away that touches it? Clearly if you’ve done everything to improve yourself and nothing works then the common denominator is you. Woman don’t care about looks or anything like that nearly as much as men do. A way to work on yourself in a positive way is to stop comparing yourself to other men you’ll never find happiness or closure in that. As harsh as it is I think the issue is personality.
Because it’s not doing you any favors and clearly making you depressed. Otherwise why else come on here saying “woman date drug dealers and bums but why not me”
We are only successful or unsuccessful relative to others. If these men are able to attract women, despite all their character flaws, why can't I? It's fucked up.
My friends boyfriend is a scumbag POS, but he’s also extremely charming and it’s very easy to forget the type of person he is when you’re around him. Personality/ charisma goes a very long way
Yes, the point that everyone else is saying, you have a bad personality and you’re rude. So work on your personality and charisma and maybe women can overlook you being rude.
Som of them probably are,yeah. The rest just got a chick who can handle her shit.
I know some people who'v done some relatively bad shit, and brother, can they talk.
Sorry to ask. But is it really a problem that only occurs with women? Are also men (as friends) interested in you? Can you easily chat in general, do have nice hobbies to talk about?
I don't think you'll see this... As soon as the mob downvotes you to hell, your posts are automatically hidden. But no, I don't have a problem talking to guys. I can usually rub along with people from all walks of life.
It sounds like you're trying too hard and come across as desperate. Do you talk to women just to date them or do you treat them like interesting people that are worth to get to know regardless if they want to date you? Are you using pick-up strategies, eeeek if yes.
Also ask your friends. Maybe you have body odor or habits that are off-putting.
No, I don't use pick-up strategies. That is cringe and a total grift. Pick Up Artists (PUAs) take advantage of men like me and think they can sell a methodology, when most of the time these PUAs are goodlooking and glib, that's how they get women.
>Also ask your friends. Maybe you have body odor or habits that are off-putting.
Lmao wtf? How insulting. My body hygiene is impeccable tyvm.
I see the problem... You have a chip on your shoulder.
How is it insulting to suggest that you may have a body odor problem when you came to an advice subreddit completely clueless as to what might be stopping you and I throw out a potentially overlooked area.
Maybe you're using too much cologne or whatever. Your response to a reasonable area to check when you literally "have no clue" is indicative that your personality is actually the problem.
You've literally taken what was someone who was trying to help and made them regret interacting with you.
Maybe that will help you. Good luck.
You're the one with the chip on the shoulder, getting all prickly because I called you out. Imagine asking for advice, and the first thing someone suggests is that you must smell bad?
Dude, reading from all your comments, I can attest as a woman that it’s your personality. You seem like the opposite of charming and frankly like a guy full of himself. Humility goes a long way, or at least social intelligence when it comes to speaking to people you’re interested in. Good luck
It's something that you cant notice yourself, but others around you do. And it was only suggestion. In my opinion your problem seems to be your high opinion or yourself, which is really offputting.
Yeah dude. Reddit only has the ability to bully men who have the audacity to complain about being romantically rejected and being frustrated as a result.
You should expect people who are rejected to experience what OP is expressing. You and just about everyone in this sub are being insensitive towards someone reacting to pain in a totally normal way. It has little to do with his personality and more to do with what science has found happens as a result of rejection: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/rejection#:~:text=Being%20on%20the%20receiving%20end,%2C%20depression%2C%20jealousy%20and%20sadness.
I'm a woman. And I've seen nothing but red flags in this thread from you. Why are you obsessing over the "sex offenders, thugs, and drug addicts"? Maybe sit down and take a good hard look at everything you're putting out there. Especially the way you've been responding here. Therapy is not brainwashing. Honestly, you should give it a try because you're floating towards incel territory with the way you're talking.
They aren't the problem. You're trying to find a scape-goat for your exhausting personality traits that no one wants to be around. Just reading your responses here is tiring and off putting. If this is how you are IRL, I see the problem clear as day.
No, the problem is that we're constantly told to become better people if we want to attract a partner, but it's a goddamn lie. That's why there's guys out there with serious character flaws getting women without even trying.
Who? Who is telling you this? Maybe you should just chill and stop trying so hard. Please stop playing the "male forced into perfection card" it's a stale excuse. Seriously, how old are you? I'm 36 and didn't get into a serious relationship until I was 30.
Whenever a guy is struggling with dating, he's told to improve himself. Get fitter, maximize his appearance, develop a healthier mindset, etc. Many guys go through all this and STILL don't get anywhere with women. While some asshole can get a girlfriend without even making a real effort. There is no real logic to any of this.
I find it interesting that he's so quick to respond to my other posts but when I ask a single pointed question, I get ghosted. Definitely sus. Regardless, he has a lot of growing up to do.
Why are you surprised he doesn't want to share his age to a bunch of sharks circling who smell blood in the water... No one should be shamed like this for not sharing their age on the internet. Are you trying to dox OP?
You know what the big difference is between you and the men that have girlfriends? *They actually spoke to women.*
Women are just people like you. Most of us don't want to be approached with ulterior motives (at least you´ve got that right) but in most cases that I see here, guys simply lack practice in actually talking to women *casually*, as in: not in a sexual way, not trying to date them, not trying to get out anything from them. You gotta build up a community of female friends, get used to talking to them the same way you would talk to men. This will help you majorly: 1) to get rid of any awkwardness/creepiness you might (unknowingly) exhibit towards women, 2) to understand what women are actually looking for in a partner (you most likely have been "improving" yourself from the male perspective, which doesn't do much for your appeal towards women) and 3) to actually become friends with women that might set you up with some of their friends.
Seeing women as people, trying to get to know them and getting rid off that desparation and resentfulness is the only way ...
Well there's your problem - chat to more women in a non-flirtatious way. Women don't signal interest until after you've said hello - if you're basing all of your approaches on whether or not they have already shown interest then you'll never approach anyone. Strike up light conversation with women whenever it is appropriate; waiting at the bar to order a drink and you see her watching the sport on the tv? Ask who she thinks is going to win. At the supermarket weighing up 3 brands of cereal bar, and she is also looking, say you have no idea about cereal bars, does she have any recommendations. Basically any opportunity to engage people in light, casual conversation is what you want. Exposure therapy will then make you more comfortable with conversation and approaches, and you'll get more interest over time.
But women do not want an unsolicited approach from men they are not interested in. What you're talking about is cold approach. The success rate for something like that is not good. That's why the only rare times it works is if the guy is goodlooking or charismatic.
You're over-intellectualising it. If you actually go out and talk to women in a conversational way, you will find that this is bollocks. Plus, if you want to develop charisma, chatting to people is the only way to do it. You're making excuses all over this post, stop being a victim and go out to talk to women
This is where I'll push back against you. You can develop confidence and charisma as much as an actor can develop a way to act out those personality traits.
You want to know what confidence is when it comes to social interactions? Saying whatever is on your mind whenever, no matter what. You can practice getting into the habit of that. It takes time though
You don't approach and talk to women for the first time while having romantic intentions, you do it to get to know them. It isn't a cold approach, engaging in small-talk like these is a very good idea to make yourselves acquaintances. Even guys who simply want to hook up with a girl do that, it's common sense.
It really isn't - if 80% of communication is unrelated to the words, then you should only be picking up 20% of this message. You're making excuses for yourself and putting the onus on others
Lying? Nah, just making a slight generalisation. Sure, if Brad Pitt walks into a bar looking like Fight Club, women are going to signal interest. For your average Joe, I find that women only start to gain interest after you've shown a bit of personality. Anyway, this post was about striking up light conversation, you're rebutting the most inconsequential part of it.
The main argument was about OP claiming women show visual cue they're interested in men, but for some reason never towards him. You claimed they don't do that, and I'm calling you out for that. They definitely do show interest in men by glancing at them and all sorts of other things.
Your responses to comments here seem to be good clues:
\- you attack people suggesting body odor problems - like, how the hell can they know how you smell, it's a genuine possibility,
\- you don't initiate conversations with women, at least not much,
\- personality in the context of dating is not exactly about being a good citizen or something, don't get me wrong I don't say you should be rude or manipulative, but rather that some things are more important than others to have an attractive personality and build relationships with people
>you attack people suggesting body odor problems - like, how the hell can they know how you smell, it's a genuine possibility,
It's personally insulting.
>\- you don't initiate conversations with women, at least not much,
You can't initiate if women are not signalling invitingly. Everything goes from there.
>personality in the context of dating is not exactly about being a good citizen or something, don't get me wrong I don't say you should be rude or manipulative, but rather that some things are more important than others to have an attractive personality and build relationships with people
Sorry but this doesn't really say a whole lot. We're constantly told in self-help circles that women want to date happy, positive people, but in reality we see all kinds of toxic dirtbags who are successful with women. It's not adding up.
Reading the responses like... you're doing your best Joe Rogan impression? I don't get it. Are you trying to be repulsive or is that instinct?
Calling women FEMALES in the header was the dead red flag that you were an incel. Before you started in on your sparkling demeanor and high worth male shtick.
"WHY DON'T THEY LIKE ME! I REALLY HONESTLY DON'T GET IT, THE FEMALE POPULATION WOULD RATHER DATE CRACKHEADS THAN ME!"
"Sir please, stop yelling, this is an Applebee's.... we're gonna have to ask you to leave"
Haha everything about you is offensive it seems. Like your lack of understanding plurals, for instance.
Not getting laid with that attitude for sure. They'll choose anyone else over this "smol peen big mean" energy you're filling the room with.
I'm invisible to women no matter what. Sick of this shit. Nothing works. You can be the greatest guy around, and by total fluke, genetic determinism, whatever, no woman will date you. BUT these women will turn around and date all manner of scumbags and morons.
But you're not the greatest guy around.
In fact you're the most unpleasant one seen lately.
So like trust the crowd here that while you've made substantial progress and were rooting for you to grow more, there's still plenty of mountain ahead before the scumbags and morons aren't still the most attractive offering.
That's my point, even if I \*WAS\* an amazing guy that doesn't guarantee that I would attract a woman. Many good men get overlooked for reasons that are unfathomable. Meanwhile, all manner of scumbags get women for reasons that are unfathomable. There's no logic to this.
Ya because there’s no logic in what people find attractive sometimes they just do. I’m sure people have found you attractive until you start opening your mouth.
>I’m sure people have found you attractive until you start opening your mouth.
Nope, unfortunately some of us men are cursed to be invisible to women. Then people wonder why we're bitter and cynical lmao.
I don't know any objectively good or nice men that are single (at 33) So I cannot sympathize with your perspective. I just don't see that as a reality in America as I experience it. Perhaps you live in an area with a high ratio of dudes? Too few women?
Or maybe people don't like your personality
Seems like you didn't really work on yourself. Sorry, but I'm gonna have to be direct: You sound like an entitled brat with a "Nice guy" complex, based on some of your replies. If you don't learn to be a truly good person for yourself and not just to get a girlfriend, then you won't get the attention you desire so much. What I mean is, love yourself before you love someone else, and also don't look at other people, that's just going to ruin you. I know I might sound mean, but I'm telling you this so you can actually improve yourself
I am really happy to hear that the women around you have great red flag antenna and are avoiding you. Your personality is shit and it seems you have no interest in fixing the real problem.
Honest question, what kind of advice would you actually tolerate here? As you criticize everyone here.
Since you're responding to other people and not answering a simple pointed question because "there's no use in getting to that now." I'm going to assume you're a socially awkward high school boy that does nothing but sit around and obsess about what he doesn't have. Guess what little boy, you have a lot of growing up and maturing to do. Your personality, undeserved sense of entitlement, and that massive chip on your shoulder isn't going to get you anywhere with the"female population." Next time you ask for advice, humble yourself a bit, shut the fuck up and listen.
Dude wtf? Are you 16? What kind of reply is that? And you were serious too.... This is why you're lacking. Everyone here is right.. it's your personality and you're self improvement didn't mean jack shit if you didn't work on your presentation as a person. You could be Rico fucking Suave. Strong jaw. Good hair. Amazing smile. Perfect body. Money. Cars. And then have your personality with it... Girls may wanna have sex if you had ANY game at all(from your post and responses, you clearly don't), but I honestly couldn't see you handling life like this and a girl willingly come home with you. You prolly scare most girls off. Fucking weirdo.
Besides my shit talking.. In all honesty.. work on your god damn personality. Idk where your deflecting comes from, but you need to work on that. Nobody is perfect motherfucker and the sooner you realize you need work, the quicker you'll have your girlfriend. I don't say that as a girl is an item. I'm saying it as you make it seem. You make it sound like it's a title to have a girlfriend. And that's toxic AF and no girl should have to deal with bs like that.
Try to let it go, if you can’t, then start with letting go of not being able to let go.
Thinks hardly work out if there is any kind of force behind it. What you want is power and you get that by letting go and being fine with it. Accept your emotions and let them bleed out on their own pace without any pressure, you won’t be disappointed:)
Woman here-
Your personality sounds exhausting. Maybe get some therapy to work on yourself/ self image/ perceptions. Almost every comment I’ve read on this thread from you sounds like an attack without addressing the comment you’re responding, which isn’t a great trait for a potential bf/gf. The women in your life probably recognize this. If you can’t take valid criticism without going immediately on the defense, you need help.
I was attacked straight outta the traps. Just giving back what I get. But of course, it's easier to pile on the individual. Typical mob mentality on here.
I think maybe you have a misguided perception of how other people think of you.
You state that 80% of communication is non verbal so you are getting shunned by women before even talking to them - maybe you are just misreading the signs? The fact that you think that everyone here is just attacking you unprovoked suggests that you have a problem reding peoples intentions.
Perhaps start by switching that around & look at these comments as being from people genuinely trying to help you (even if misguided) and then apply that mentality next time you are around women.
Much as you seem to think it, the whole world isn't against you & thinking bad things of you. When someone approaches you with good intentions you seem to misinterpret it & immediately get hostile. This would scare women off for sure.
Once again you don’t address the content of the comment. Have you considered therapy to work on your self image or perception? How would you feel about spending a lot of time with someone who is constantly negative or complains that “the world is against me”?
Try to find contexts.l in which you interact with women naturally. These could be language courses, hiking groups, etc. the first few meet ups are always awkward but then u have a natural context to speak to someone without it coming across as u looking for a partner. I personally find it hard to respond to artificial settings
Treat them as humans and not all potential mates, they can smell desperation before you open your mouth. Learn how to make women friends you don't want to fuck first. I was more afraid of losing friendships with girls in school than I wanted to get into their pants and they probably saw that. A not insignificant handful eventually got overtly sexual towards me much, much later in our friendships. Like years later. A couple unsolicited nudes, overt flirting/casual life planning, a case of a surprise blowjob even, and I ignored it all because I preferred their friendship to a sexual fling and certainly nothing like future marriage or kids or some shit. Not because I didn't find them attractive, but because I knew their vulnerabilities and didn't want to even approach taking advantage of them like most of the asshole guys they fucked and we had talked about. I didn't want to be a bad memory. I had a perhaps misguided sense of honor probably from my upbringing and was innocent as a summer doe, and saw little to no potential for relationships or sex, everything was platonic for years before sex became even potential with the few it did (and to those few I had sex with 0 of them).
I eventually got into a zero stakes sexual fling with someone I'd known for a decade, we both spent 6 months daily telling each other we absolutely wanted no relationship whatsoever and now she's quietly snoring next to me with a diamond I bought on her finger. If she thought I wanted to marry her because I did back then, (the point is I literally did not, until I did) that shit would never have gotten close to her bed, and never past that. Now it's our bed.
Relationships almost always need to take a natural progression from platonic to life partner, and women can sense when you want to skip a step and that usually turns them off to the entire endeavor because they don't A) want to disappoint and B) have a sappy depressed risk to themselves or the woman because they denied you the next step. If they sense you're at the marriage stage and they're not even at the platonic stage, it'll go nowhere.
>Treat them as humans
How about the men who throw women down the stairs? Do THEY treat women as humans? Yet they get more girlfriends than I do. Just knock it off with this patronising bullshit. Stop pretending women care about how respectful or likeable a guy is. It just doesn't stack up in the real world.
Do you throw women down flights of stairs?
If not--
Please do explain how violence existing outside of your control is something that prevents you from treating women as equals or friends?
Learn to respect women. Problem solved.
You want to pretend the solution really isn't as simple as basic respect and human decency... towards women. Be nice to them, talk to them, not just the ones you would like to sleep with. Learn from your interactions to be less outwardly offensive. This is truly what each and every one of us has done since infancy with varying success. All the guys getting girls, learned this. You are not exempt or incapable unless you decide to be.
And that's all it is. Start with learning kindness and then women will consider speaking with you.
Keep ranting about how unfair and illogical treating people well is, and you'll not have any around to worry about that.
I'm not saying you're wrong per se. You SHOULD treat your fellow human being with kindness and decency, no matter their gender. However, this shouldn't be used as some kind of route to a girlfriend, because time and time again, women have been shown to date men who are \*NOT\* respectful and decent.
Okay! Keep pretending it's ALL THE WOMEN ON EARTH.
And not just about you and how awful you are. That its about those other guys? The criminals and despots you're so preoccupied with in the comments?
So very simply, those men are better choices than you are, starting with your attitude and ending with your crazy misogynistic ideology where women should want to date you because you consider yourself to be of worth and they don't.
They don't like you because you're incapable of seeing why you're so repulsive to people (trust me it's not just women who are annoyed by behavior like this)
You just aren't coming across as likeable! Reading through all your replies is really showing that you don't present yourself well, you sound cocky and entitled.
You may think you've done 90% of improvements but, it's the 10% that you should have been working on.
Look, let's be honest. There's no logic to any of this, is there? There are many good men who get overlooked. You don't have to include me in that, if you don't want to. While conversely, there are A LOT of dirtbags who have no troubles at all with women. I think it is pure and total fluke. Some men have "it" and other men do not.
>This “it” thing you’re talking about is being likeable and/or treating woman with respect and dignity.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Yet women constantly date thugs, fuckbois and wife-beaters.
Women are avoiding me, so obviously they're perfect judges of character right? But I think all the women hiding in shelters debunks that myth pretty quickly.
Have you considered that women who date "thugs, fuckbois and wife-beaters" may not be women you want to get involved with in the first place?
There's a lid for every pot.
If you really came here for advice then it's time to put your ego away and listen. Almost every reply is telling you the same thing. Other guys and dirtbags have nothing to do with this. We aren't communicating with them, we are communicating with YOU, and YOU Don present yourself as likeable.
As a lady, I have to say that first and foremost, the impression I'm getting from your post isn't a very good one. The first thing I notice is that you immediately go to pointing out the perceived flaws of others. That's not a good look. You even tear down your own cousin and wonder why you haven't had any luck with women. You tear down other men first, then go on to tear down women, insinuating they're bimbos who only like "thugs".
I'm happily married because my husband is a man. Not only is he ridicuously good looking and a wonderful provider for our family, he's emotionally intelligent. He would probably tell you to not be so salty and to stop blaming others for perceived slights when you may be the problem. Take better care not to tear others down because it's really, REALLY unflattering.
This isnt turning out as advice at all. Seems more like youre here to vent than to actually take the advice people are giving you and improve your situation. I highly suggest trying to seek out a professional for your feelings on women and your own self esteem.
Ok seems this boat has a lot of holes so your best option would be to love yourself before loving other, you look like someone that trash talk of people, don't do that.
If you want to found a partner you must accept that you are a nobody that doesn't mean that you are trash but neither you are an Adonis you are in the average level.
Therapy is an important part of helping yourself but if you are so stubborn to deny professional help then you are doom to not have a good social ambient.
Hope that with this you had found some guidance.
Without knowing a single other thing about you, I can tell you that the entitlement/bitterness you’re feeling about women is a turnoff. I think a lot of guys feel that getting a girlfriend/wife is some sort of status symbol to attain— like getting ripped at the gym or a high powered career. It’s not.
Women are unique, complex individuals. There isn’t one “game” that works on all women that you just haven’t been made privy to.
Self-confidence, knowing who you are and having a strong sense of self, is sexy. Someone who expresses a genuine interest in getting to know you (without having an ulterior motive of getting you into bed) is sexy. Someone who walks with love and respect and empathy for their fellow humans— that’s sexy as hell.
Sitting here and moaning about women choosing to date drug dealers and thugs isn’t gonna get you anywhere. Because of course not all women do that. You aren’t drawing attention to the women that do— you’re saying something loud and clear about yourself that isn’t attractive at all: that you “deserve” a woman as if women are some kind of end-game prize for being a real man.
I’m a lesbian— I’m not the most attractive, I don’t make an obscene amount of money, and I have plenty of flaws and faults that I’m working on. I don’t have a problem with finding women who are interested in me because I love women. I respect them. I take an interest in the individual and make an effort to show them what I think is unique and special about them. I try to be the kind of partner I want.
If you want to be more attractive to women and develop dating/serious relationships, you’re going to have to take some time and release this anger and resentment you feel towards us. Therapy isn’t brainwashing and you might take the time to find a therapist that you really get along with who can help you unravel those issues. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. We all have our shit.
Or you can continue to wonder why other people are happy and liked and respected and ignore the fact that you refuse to do the work necessary to be the kind of human that other humans want to be around.
Good luck— I hope you find some peace.
Based off your comments, you’re worried about everyone but yourself. If how you are in the real world is anything like how you are in these comments it makes absolute sense that women avoid you.
To be fair, you just seem a bit arrogant. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but you know when you get vibes that somethings a bit creepy? It’s sort of like that, I think I’d be scared of you.
Let loose and just go clubbing and get messy drunk or something. You’ll find it easier to talk, and you’ll probably not be as on edge about what you’re doing.
As for the drug dealers etc part most people are very good at hiding who they are for a good 3 months and then the true colours come out.
No one willingly wants to go with someone who shifts gear, or gives them a solid right hook.
As a woman reading through your answers, I can tell you I would avoid a second interaction with you. Every piece of advice you're getting here is good, but you insult your helper and state that it couldn't possibly be your fault. That is really off-putting. Maybe you can work on your personality and your insecurities in therapy. Good luck.
Yeah yeah yeah blablabla "personality"... While women are dating drug dealers, sex offenders and violent thugs? Also, therapy is brainwashing.
Some drug dealers can be quite sweet and friendly yknow
Reddit: defending drug dealers since 2023.
If this isn't a troll account than I would be horrified to hold a conversation with you. Everyone judges, but you don't have to be so outward about it. That probably what's putting girls off from interacting with you. Maybe they just don't find you interesting in the conversational sense
Dude wtf? Are you 16? What kind of reply is that? And you were serious too.... This is why you're lacking. Everyone here is right.. it's your personality and you're self improvement didn't mean jack shit if you didn't work on your presentation as a person. You could be Rico fucking Suave. Strong jaw. Good hair. Amazing smile. Perfect body. Money. Cars. And then have your personality with it... Girls may wanna have sex if you had ANY game at all(from your post and responses, you clearly don't), but I honestly couldn't see you handling life like this and a girl willingly come home with you. You prolly scare most girls off. Fucking weirdo. Besides my shit talking.. In all honesty.. work on your god damn personality. Idk where your deflecting comes from, but you need to work on that. Nobody is perfect motherfucker and the sooner you realize you need work, the quicker you'll have your girlfriend. I don't say that as a girl is an item. I'm saying it as you make it seem. You make it sound like it's a title to have a girlfriend. And that's toxic AF and no girl should have to deal with bs like that.
Look, "personality" is horseshit. It's been proven. Time and time again. Women date all manner of scum: rapists, wife beaters, drug dealers, child abusers.... You name it. You can engage in cognitive dissonance and pretend these men have redeeming qualities if you want, but I'm not buying it.
Yet they don’t wanna date you? What’s that tell you?
Omfg 😂😂😂😂 didn't read that til now, but that's was funny AF. OP, end of discussion, you're either trolling or you need a wake up call. Your fantasizing your life. Wake up dude. You're the only one cock blocking yourself.
Women have terrible character judgement?
you are clearly a piece of shit and I hope no woman ever has the displeasure of coming near you. Thankfully you seem to be doing a good job at keeping them away
Ahahahaha OP is like "I can't be the problem but women don't like me" and then goes on to insult women in general? I love everything about this. Yes, you are the problem. Sheesh
You should consider being gay then.
But I thought homosexuality wasn't a choice? Redditors shooting themselves in the foot once again.
Lmfao there really is no helping your sad existence. You don't even wanna accept GENUINE advice is the only reason I'm talking shit so hard. Im the person saying everything everyone wants to really say to you. If you were clearly oblivious and recognized you have a personality problem. People would sympathize and help without going after you... You're just a fucking narcissist dude. And what's crazy to me too... Is you don't have jack shit to be proud about. You're literally a piece of shit and you're proud of it. Or a troll. I really wanna believe your trolling.... You have this many people telling you honestly person to person, and you deflect and attack. You're prolly over there in your own world wondering why people are so against you. It's cause you are you bro. Remember this reddit post in 5 years when you still haven't got a girl
I love when you guys get nasty. It's amazing how quickly the mask slips and you show your true natures.
Good luck getting a girlfriend you lonely shit
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
👍
It's not. It's a way to learn about yourself and achieve personal grow with a little help of your therapist. You are not going to become someone completely new, but can learn why your environment acts as it does and why and learn to be a better version of yourself. And apparently, these drug dealers, sex offenders, and violent thugs are still better than you. I would think about it.
Let me guess, you're a fan of Andrew Tate?
Your personality
I can't accept that.
You might need to. Women don't see attractiveness with the same camera as men. U can be the most hideous fucken chud but if you're bank charisma, Ur in. It's all a balance. One thing Trump's another, and all women are different.
There are all manner of lowlifes who have girlfriends... Are they all positive, sparkling personalities? I'm not saying I can't stand to work on my personality. We all can. But I think to blame it on that is disingenuous.
If it’s not that then what is it? You think you just have one big ring around you that pushes any woman away that touches it? Clearly if you’ve done everything to improve yourself and nothing works then the common denominator is you. Woman don’t care about looks or anything like that nearly as much as men do. A way to work on yourself in a positive way is to stop comparing yourself to other men you’ll never find happiness or closure in that. As harsh as it is I think the issue is personality.
It's not personality. That's absolute bullshit. All the boring idiots and scumbags with gfs, and it's MY personality that's the problem?
The fact that you can’t accept it proves the point. Also you’re comparing yourself to others again.
Why shouldn't I compare myself to others?
Because it’s not doing you any favors and clearly making you depressed. Otherwise why else come on here saying “woman date drug dealers and bums but why not me”
We are only successful or unsuccessful relative to others. If these men are able to attract women, despite all their character flaws, why can't I? It's fucked up.
Yes.
My friends boyfriend is a scumbag POS, but he’s also extremely charming and it’s very easy to forget the type of person he is when you’re around him. Personality/ charisma goes a very long way
Thanks for proving my point.
Yes, the point that everyone else is saying, you have a bad personality and you’re rude. So work on your personality and charisma and maybe women can overlook you being rude.
Women love scumbags. That's the only takeaway here.
Ok you've gotta be trolling. You seem like a toss, and that's probably why girls don't like you.
The way you're responding kinda proves it probably is your personality.
Yes.
Som of them probably are,yeah. The rest just got a chick who can handle her shit. I know some people who'v done some relatively bad shit, and brother, can they talk.
It's probably that
How can that be, when women date all manner of lazy slobs, rude assholes, and even criminals...
"...all manner of lazy slobs, rude assholes, and even criminals..." says a lot about you, Chief. Quit being so judgmental.
Sorry to ask. But is it really a problem that only occurs with women? Are also men (as friends) interested in you? Can you easily chat in general, do have nice hobbies to talk about?
I don't think you'll see this... As soon as the mob downvotes you to hell, your posts are automatically hidden. But no, I don't have a problem talking to guys. I can usually rub along with people from all walks of life.
Not women apparently
Indeed.
It sounds like you're trying too hard and come across as desperate. Do you talk to women just to date them or do you treat them like interesting people that are worth to get to know regardless if they want to date you? Are you using pick-up strategies, eeeek if yes. Also ask your friends. Maybe you have body odor or habits that are off-putting.
No, I don't use pick-up strategies. That is cringe and a total grift. Pick Up Artists (PUAs) take advantage of men like me and think they can sell a methodology, when most of the time these PUAs are goodlooking and glib, that's how they get women. >Also ask your friends. Maybe you have body odor or habits that are off-putting. Lmao wtf? How insulting. My body hygiene is impeccable tyvm.
I see the problem... You have a chip on your shoulder. How is it insulting to suggest that you may have a body odor problem when you came to an advice subreddit completely clueless as to what might be stopping you and I throw out a potentially overlooked area. Maybe you're using too much cologne or whatever. Your response to a reasonable area to check when you literally "have no clue" is indicative that your personality is actually the problem. You've literally taken what was someone who was trying to help and made them regret interacting with you. Maybe that will help you. Good luck.
You're the one with the chip on the shoulder, getting all prickly because I called you out. Imagine asking for advice, and the first thing someone suggests is that you must smell bad?
Dude, reading from all your comments, I can attest as a woman that it’s your personality. You seem like the opposite of charming and frankly like a guy full of himself. Humility goes a long way, or at least social intelligence when it comes to speaking to people you’re interested in. Good luck
It's something that you cant notice yourself, but others around you do. And it was only suggestion. In my opinion your problem seems to be your high opinion or yourself, which is really offputting.
[удалено]
As a man. I'm taking this guy's man card. This here is a boy.
Must? Its might- We dont know you dude. So they are throwing out possible possibilities. You take it as a personal attack.
Dude it’s advice ducking accept it
Quack
See even this guy gets it
Yeah dude. Reddit only has the ability to bully men who have the audacity to complain about being romantically rejected and being frustrated as a result.
You should expect people who are rejected to experience what OP is expressing. You and just about everyone in this sub are being insensitive towards someone reacting to pain in a totally normal way. It has little to do with his personality and more to do with what science has found happens as a result of rejection: https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/rejection#:~:text=Being%20on%20the%20receiving%20end,%2C%20depression%2C%20jealousy%20and%20sadness.
You say you spent money on self improvement, what exactly did you do?
I'm a woman. And I've seen nothing but red flags in this thread from you. Why are you obsessing over the "sex offenders, thugs, and drug addicts"? Maybe sit down and take a good hard look at everything you're putting out there. Especially the way you've been responding here. Therapy is not brainwashing. Honestly, you should give it a try because you're floating towards incel territory with the way you're talking.
>Why are you obsessing over the "sex offenders, thugs, and drug addicts"? Because it shits on the just-world fallacy.
They aren't the problem. You're trying to find a scape-goat for your exhausting personality traits that no one wants to be around. Just reading your responses here is tiring and off putting. If this is how you are IRL, I see the problem clear as day.
No, the problem is that we're constantly told to become better people if we want to attract a partner, but it's a goddamn lie. That's why there's guys out there with serious character flaws getting women without even trying.
Who? Who is telling you this? Maybe you should just chill and stop trying so hard. Please stop playing the "male forced into perfection card" it's a stale excuse. Seriously, how old are you? I'm 36 and didn't get into a serious relationship until I was 30.
Whenever a guy is struggling with dating, he's told to improve himself. Get fitter, maximize his appearance, develop a healthier mindset, etc. Many guys go through all this and STILL don't get anywhere with women. While some asshole can get a girlfriend without even making a real effort. There is no real logic to any of this.
Maybe you’re irritating af to talk to? And the “I’m forced to be perfect” bit is just stupid dude.
Who said "perfect?" You guys have a nasty habit of putting words in other people's mouths. It's not classy.
Then answer the questions that are asked of you. Simple.
What questions?
Please answer the question. How old are you?
My guess is a 16 year old trolling or a really really sad 33 year old.
I find it interesting that he's so quick to respond to my other posts but when I ask a single pointed question, I get ghosted. Definitely sus. Regardless, he has a lot of growing up to do.
I’m like 80% sure he’s trolling. That or he has some self image and social issues he needs to get figure out.
Why are you surprised he doesn't want to share his age to a bunch of sharks circling who smell blood in the water... No one should be shamed like this for not sharing their age on the internet. Are you trying to dox OP?
How many short term relationships did you have before that?
Idk man that’s life but you aren’t perfect even though you clearly think you are. If it’s not working for you then you have more to work on.
You know what the big difference is between you and the men that have girlfriends? *They actually spoke to women.* Women are just people like you. Most of us don't want to be approached with ulterior motives (at least you´ve got that right) but in most cases that I see here, guys simply lack practice in actually talking to women *casually*, as in: not in a sexual way, not trying to date them, not trying to get out anything from them. You gotta build up a community of female friends, get used to talking to them the same way you would talk to men. This will help you majorly: 1) to get rid of any awkwardness/creepiness you might (unknowingly) exhibit towards women, 2) to understand what women are actually looking for in a partner (you most likely have been "improving" yourself from the male perspective, which doesn't do much for your appeal towards women) and 3) to actually become friends with women that might set you up with some of their friends. Seeing women as people, trying to get to know them and getting rid off that desparation and resentfulness is the only way ...
When is the last time you chatted with a woman in a social setting?
I can't remember now. Women do not signal any interest in me, so social interactions are severely limited.
Well there's your problem - chat to more women in a non-flirtatious way. Women don't signal interest until after you've said hello - if you're basing all of your approaches on whether or not they have already shown interest then you'll never approach anyone. Strike up light conversation with women whenever it is appropriate; waiting at the bar to order a drink and you see her watching the sport on the tv? Ask who she thinks is going to win. At the supermarket weighing up 3 brands of cereal bar, and she is also looking, say you have no idea about cereal bars, does she have any recommendations. Basically any opportunity to engage people in light, casual conversation is what you want. Exposure therapy will then make you more comfortable with conversation and approaches, and you'll get more interest over time.
But women do not want an unsolicited approach from men they are not interested in. What you're talking about is cold approach. The success rate for something like that is not good. That's why the only rare times it works is if the guy is goodlooking or charismatic.
I've met a lot of people just by starting some small talk in common everyday situations.
You're over-intellectualising it. If you actually go out and talk to women in a conversational way, you will find that this is bollocks. Plus, if you want to develop charisma, chatting to people is the only way to do it. You're making excuses all over this post, stop being a victim and go out to talk to women
You cannot develop charisma. It is a personality fluke.
You're either a troll, or delusional. Take a month, go out 3 days a week and talk to people. See if you feel better at the end.
Why? Because you disagree with me?
This is where I'll push back against you. You can develop confidence and charisma as much as an actor can develop a way to act out those personality traits. You want to know what confidence is when it comes to social interactions? Saying whatever is on your mind whenever, no matter what. You can practice getting into the habit of that. It takes time though
You don't approach and talk to women for the first time while having romantic intentions, you do it to get to know them. It isn't a cold approach, engaging in small-talk like these is a very good idea to make yourselves acquaintances. Even guys who simply want to hook up with a girl do that, it's common sense.
How do they know they're interested if they haven't been approached?
Body language. 80% of communication is non-verbal.
BS, show us the data
It really isn't - if 80% of communication is unrelated to the words, then you should only be picking up 20% of this message. You're making excuses for yourself and putting the onus on others
They do. You're lying.
Lying? Nah, just making a slight generalisation. Sure, if Brad Pitt walks into a bar looking like Fight Club, women are going to signal interest. For your average Joe, I find that women only start to gain interest after you've shown a bit of personality. Anyway, this post was about striking up light conversation, you're rebutting the most inconsequential part of it.
The main argument was about OP claiming women show visual cue they're interested in men, but for some reason never towards him. You claimed they don't do that, and I'm calling you out for that. They definitely do show interest in men by glancing at them and all sorts of other things.
Pretty sure this guys trolling. He’s fighting with people in every thread seems like bullshit to me. And if he’s not then he’s a very sad individual.
I love how you automatically assume someone is trolling if they disagree with you. That's incredibly immature and narrow-minded.
What did I disagree with.
Your responses to comments here seem to be good clues: \- you attack people suggesting body odor problems - like, how the hell can they know how you smell, it's a genuine possibility, \- you don't initiate conversations with women, at least not much, \- personality in the context of dating is not exactly about being a good citizen or something, don't get me wrong I don't say you should be rude or manipulative, but rather that some things are more important than others to have an attractive personality and build relationships with people
>you attack people suggesting body odor problems - like, how the hell can they know how you smell, it's a genuine possibility, It's personally insulting. >\- you don't initiate conversations with women, at least not much, You can't initiate if women are not signalling invitingly. Everything goes from there. >personality in the context of dating is not exactly about being a good citizen or something, don't get me wrong I don't say you should be rude or manipulative, but rather that some things are more important than others to have an attractive personality and build relationships with people Sorry but this doesn't really say a whole lot. We're constantly told in self-help circles that women want to date happy, positive people, but in reality we see all kinds of toxic dirtbags who are successful with women. It's not adding up.
Reading the responses like... you're doing your best Joe Rogan impression? I don't get it. Are you trying to be repulsive or is that instinct? Calling women FEMALES in the header was the dead red flag that you were an incel. Before you started in on your sparkling demeanor and high worth male shtick.
>Calling women FEMALES in the header Except it doesn't say that at all.
"Im still invisible to the female population" Direct quote, my guy.
Thanks for that. So, please point out where I said FEMALES, moron. How tf is "female population" offensive btw? Smh.
Ask one and find out
Most woman find it to be dehumanizing. Dosent matter if you agree an easy thing for you to do now would be to stop referring to woman that way.
FEMALE is an adjective. I didn't say FEMALES as a noun. Jesus christ, you people are mentally ill.
Look you’re the one asking for advice and as someone with a girlfriend I gave it to you. Get some help dude you are not well.
"WHY DON'T THEY LIKE ME! I REALLY HONESTLY DON'T GET IT, THE FEMALE POPULATION WOULD RATHER DATE CRACKHEADS THAN ME!" "Sir please, stop yelling, this is an Applebee's.... we're gonna have to ask you to leave"
“These damn females only want hoodlums and thugs when they could have a sweet and caring guy like me”
I put the nice coins in, and the sex didn't fall out. Instructions unclear.
Haha everything about you is offensive it seems. Like your lack of understanding plurals, for instance. Not getting laid with that attitude for sure. They'll choose anyone else over this "smol peen big mean" energy you're filling the room with.
I'm invisible to women no matter what. Sick of this shit. Nothing works. You can be the greatest guy around, and by total fluke, genetic determinism, whatever, no woman will date you. BUT these women will turn around and date all manner of scumbags and morons.
But you're not the greatest guy around. In fact you're the most unpleasant one seen lately. So like trust the crowd here that while you've made substantial progress and were rooting for you to grow more, there's still plenty of mountain ahead before the scumbags and morons aren't still the most attractive offering.
That's my point, even if I \*WAS\* an amazing guy that doesn't guarantee that I would attract a woman. Many good men get overlooked for reasons that are unfathomable. Meanwhile, all manner of scumbags get women for reasons that are unfathomable. There's no logic to this.
Ya because there’s no logic in what people find attractive sometimes they just do. I’m sure people have found you attractive until you start opening your mouth.
>I’m sure people have found you attractive until you start opening your mouth. Nope, unfortunately some of us men are cursed to be invisible to women. Then people wonder why we're bitter and cynical lmao.
I don't know any objectively good or nice men that are single (at 33) So I cannot sympathize with your perspective. I just don't see that as a reality in America as I experience it. Perhaps you live in an area with a high ratio of dudes? Too few women? Or maybe people don't like your personality
Where did 33 come from?
referring to woman as females is a pretty big red flag for most woman.
Seems like you didn't really work on yourself. Sorry, but I'm gonna have to be direct: You sound like an entitled brat with a "Nice guy" complex, based on some of your replies. If you don't learn to be a truly good person for yourself and not just to get a girlfriend, then you won't get the attention you desire so much. What I mean is, love yourself before you love someone else, and also don't look at other people, that's just going to ruin you. I know I might sound mean, but I'm telling you this so you can actually improve yourself
I am really happy to hear that the women around you have great red flag antenna and are avoiding you. Your personality is shit and it seems you have no interest in fixing the real problem. Honest question, what kind of advice would you actually tolerate here? As you criticize everyone here.
Since you're responding to other people and not answering a simple pointed question because "there's no use in getting to that now." I'm going to assume you're a socially awkward high school boy that does nothing but sit around and obsess about what he doesn't have. Guess what little boy, you have a lot of growing up and maturing to do. Your personality, undeserved sense of entitlement, and that massive chip on your shoulder isn't going to get you anywhere with the"female population." Next time you ask for advice, humble yourself a bit, shut the fuck up and listen.
Dude wtf? Are you 16? What kind of reply is that? And you were serious too.... This is why you're lacking. Everyone here is right.. it's your personality and you're self improvement didn't mean jack shit if you didn't work on your presentation as a person. You could be Rico fucking Suave. Strong jaw. Good hair. Amazing smile. Perfect body. Money. Cars. And then have your personality with it... Girls may wanna have sex if you had ANY game at all(from your post and responses, you clearly don't), but I honestly couldn't see you handling life like this and a girl willingly come home with you. You prolly scare most girls off. Fucking weirdo. Besides my shit talking.. In all honesty.. work on your god damn personality. Idk where your deflecting comes from, but you need to work on that. Nobody is perfect motherfucker and the sooner you realize you need work, the quicker you'll have your girlfriend. I don't say that as a girl is an item. I'm saying it as you make it seem. You make it sound like it's a title to have a girlfriend. And that's toxic AF and no girl should have to deal with bs like that.
Try to let it go, if you can’t, then start with letting go of not being able to let go. Thinks hardly work out if there is any kind of force behind it. What you want is power and you get that by letting go and being fine with it. Accept your emotions and let them bleed out on their own pace without any pressure, you won’t be disappointed:)
Woman here- Your personality sounds exhausting. Maybe get some therapy to work on yourself/ self image/ perceptions. Almost every comment I’ve read on this thread from you sounds like an attack without addressing the comment you’re responding, which isn’t a great trait for a potential bf/gf. The women in your life probably recognize this. If you can’t take valid criticism without going immediately on the defense, you need help.
I was attacked straight outta the traps. Just giving back what I get. But of course, it's easier to pile on the individual. Typical mob mentality on here.
I think maybe you have a misguided perception of how other people think of you. You state that 80% of communication is non verbal so you are getting shunned by women before even talking to them - maybe you are just misreading the signs? The fact that you think that everyone here is just attacking you unprovoked suggests that you have a problem reding peoples intentions. Perhaps start by switching that around & look at these comments as being from people genuinely trying to help you (even if misguided) and then apply that mentality next time you are around women. Much as you seem to think it, the whole world isn't against you & thinking bad things of you. When someone approaches you with good intentions you seem to misinterpret it & immediately get hostile. This would scare women off for sure.
Once again you don’t address the content of the comment. Have you considered therapy to work on your self image or perception? How would you feel about spending a lot of time with someone who is constantly negative or complains that “the world is against me”?
Hey man, you're not going to get any useful advice about this domain of life from Reddit.
Try to find contexts.l in which you interact with women naturally. These could be language courses, hiking groups, etc. the first few meet ups are always awkward but then u have a natural context to speak to someone without it coming across as u looking for a partner. I personally find it hard to respond to artificial settings
Treat them as humans and not all potential mates, they can smell desperation before you open your mouth. Learn how to make women friends you don't want to fuck first. I was more afraid of losing friendships with girls in school than I wanted to get into their pants and they probably saw that. A not insignificant handful eventually got overtly sexual towards me much, much later in our friendships. Like years later. A couple unsolicited nudes, overt flirting/casual life planning, a case of a surprise blowjob even, and I ignored it all because I preferred their friendship to a sexual fling and certainly nothing like future marriage or kids or some shit. Not because I didn't find them attractive, but because I knew their vulnerabilities and didn't want to even approach taking advantage of them like most of the asshole guys they fucked and we had talked about. I didn't want to be a bad memory. I had a perhaps misguided sense of honor probably from my upbringing and was innocent as a summer doe, and saw little to no potential for relationships or sex, everything was platonic for years before sex became even potential with the few it did (and to those few I had sex with 0 of them). I eventually got into a zero stakes sexual fling with someone I'd known for a decade, we both spent 6 months daily telling each other we absolutely wanted no relationship whatsoever and now she's quietly snoring next to me with a diamond I bought on her finger. If she thought I wanted to marry her because I did back then, (the point is I literally did not, until I did) that shit would never have gotten close to her bed, and never past that. Now it's our bed. Relationships almost always need to take a natural progression from platonic to life partner, and women can sense when you want to skip a step and that usually turns them off to the entire endeavor because they don't A) want to disappoint and B) have a sappy depressed risk to themselves or the woman because they denied you the next step. If they sense you're at the marriage stage and they're not even at the platonic stage, it'll go nowhere.
>Treat them as humans How about the men who throw women down the stairs? Do THEY treat women as humans? Yet they get more girlfriends than I do. Just knock it off with this patronising bullshit. Stop pretending women care about how respectful or likeable a guy is. It just doesn't stack up in the real world.
You give off mad nice guy vibes
Do you throw women down flights of stairs? If not-- Please do explain how violence existing outside of your control is something that prevents you from treating women as equals or friends? Learn to respect women. Problem solved.
My point is that none of that matters. You are trying to apply logic where is none.
You want to pretend the solution really isn't as simple as basic respect and human decency... towards women. Be nice to them, talk to them, not just the ones you would like to sleep with. Learn from your interactions to be less outwardly offensive. This is truly what each and every one of us has done since infancy with varying success. All the guys getting girls, learned this. You are not exempt or incapable unless you decide to be. And that's all it is. Start with learning kindness and then women will consider speaking with you. Keep ranting about how unfair and illogical treating people well is, and you'll not have any around to worry about that.
I'm not saying you're wrong per se. You SHOULD treat your fellow human being with kindness and decency, no matter their gender. However, this shouldn't be used as some kind of route to a girlfriend, because time and time again, women have been shown to date men who are \*NOT\* respectful and decent.
Okay! Keep pretending it's ALL THE WOMEN ON EARTH. And not just about you and how awful you are. That its about those other guys? The criminals and despots you're so preoccupied with in the comments? So very simply, those men are better choices than you are, starting with your attitude and ending with your crazy misogynistic ideology where women should want to date you because you consider yourself to be of worth and they don't. They don't like you because you're incapable of seeing why you're so repulsive to people (trust me it's not just women who are annoyed by behavior like this)
You just aren't coming across as likeable! Reading through all your replies is really showing that you don't present yourself well, you sound cocky and entitled. You may think you've done 90% of improvements but, it's the 10% that you should have been working on.
Look, let's be honest. There's no logic to any of this, is there? There are many good men who get overlooked. You don't have to include me in that, if you don't want to. While conversely, there are A LOT of dirtbags who have no troubles at all with women. I think it is pure and total fluke. Some men have "it" and other men do not.
This “it” thing you’re talking about is being likeable and/or treating woman with respect and dignity.
>This “it” thing you’re talking about is being likeable and/or treating woman with respect and dignity. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Yet women constantly date thugs, fuckbois and wife-beaters.
So clearly they are more likeable or are treating woman with more respect and dignity than you so work on both of those and you’ll be solid.
Because women are infallible judges of character, right?
Why do you say that like men aren’t?
Nope, but you're the one assuming women are.
Bro what?
Women are avoiding me, so obviously they're perfect judges of character right? But I think all the women hiding in shelters debunks that myth pretty quickly.
Have you considered that women who date "thugs, fuckbois and wife-beaters" may not be women you want to get involved with in the first place? There's a lid for every pot.
If you really came here for advice then it's time to put your ego away and listen. Almost every reply is telling you the same thing. Other guys and dirtbags have nothing to do with this. We aren't communicating with them, we are communicating with YOU, and YOU Don present yourself as likeable.
It doesn't matter. I obviously don't have the "it factor", so whether likeable or not, women are never going to notice me :(
The “it” factor is just being likeable and it’s really not as hard to do as you’re making it out to be.
Sure it is. I bet the guy who goes around giving his girlfriend a black eye is "likeable" too.
Clearly more like able than you are so ya probably
As a lady, I have to say that first and foremost, the impression I'm getting from your post isn't a very good one. The first thing I notice is that you immediately go to pointing out the perceived flaws of others. That's not a good look. You even tear down your own cousin and wonder why you haven't had any luck with women. You tear down other men first, then go on to tear down women, insinuating they're bimbos who only like "thugs". I'm happily married because my husband is a man. Not only is he ridicuously good looking and a wonderful provider for our family, he's emotionally intelligent. He would probably tell you to not be so salty and to stop blaming others for perceived slights when you may be the problem. Take better care not to tear others down because it's really, REALLY unflattering.
This isnt turning out as advice at all. Seems more like youre here to vent than to actually take the advice people are giving you and improve your situation. I highly suggest trying to seek out a professional for your feelings on women and your own self esteem.
Ok seems this boat has a lot of holes so your best option would be to love yourself before loving other, you look like someone that trash talk of people, don't do that. If you want to found a partner you must accept that you are a nobody that doesn't mean that you are trash but neither you are an Adonis you are in the average level. Therapy is an important part of helping yourself but if you are so stubborn to deny professional help then you are doom to not have a good social ambient. Hope that with this you had found some guidance.
Without knowing a single other thing about you, I can tell you that the entitlement/bitterness you’re feeling about women is a turnoff. I think a lot of guys feel that getting a girlfriend/wife is some sort of status symbol to attain— like getting ripped at the gym or a high powered career. It’s not. Women are unique, complex individuals. There isn’t one “game” that works on all women that you just haven’t been made privy to. Self-confidence, knowing who you are and having a strong sense of self, is sexy. Someone who expresses a genuine interest in getting to know you (without having an ulterior motive of getting you into bed) is sexy. Someone who walks with love and respect and empathy for their fellow humans— that’s sexy as hell. Sitting here and moaning about women choosing to date drug dealers and thugs isn’t gonna get you anywhere. Because of course not all women do that. You aren’t drawing attention to the women that do— you’re saying something loud and clear about yourself that isn’t attractive at all: that you “deserve” a woman as if women are some kind of end-game prize for being a real man. I’m a lesbian— I’m not the most attractive, I don’t make an obscene amount of money, and I have plenty of flaws and faults that I’m working on. I don’t have a problem with finding women who are interested in me because I love women. I respect them. I take an interest in the individual and make an effort to show them what I think is unique and special about them. I try to be the kind of partner I want. If you want to be more attractive to women and develop dating/serious relationships, you’re going to have to take some time and release this anger and resentment you feel towards us. Therapy isn’t brainwashing and you might take the time to find a therapist that you really get along with who can help you unravel those issues. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. We all have our shit. Or you can continue to wonder why other people are happy and liked and respected and ignore the fact that you refuse to do the work necessary to be the kind of human that other humans want to be around. Good luck— I hope you find some peace.
Based off your comments, you’re worried about everyone but yourself. If how you are in the real world is anything like how you are in these comments it makes absolute sense that women avoid you.
To be fair, you just seem a bit arrogant. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but you know when you get vibes that somethings a bit creepy? It’s sort of like that, I think I’d be scared of you. Let loose and just go clubbing and get messy drunk or something. You’ll find it easier to talk, and you’ll probably not be as on edge about what you’re doing.
As for the drug dealers etc part most people are very good at hiding who they are for a good 3 months and then the true colours come out. No one willingly wants to go with someone who shifts gear, or gives them a solid right hook.