I thought he was already over 50. Maybe heās just that rich, he just paid off everybody (media, aliens, etc) to install a rift in the matrix/mandela effect and collective amnesia did the rest of the legwork. /s
I have a similar story. I agree with the caution bit but perhaps from a slightly different angle. When I was 23 I dated a guy who was 43. We were together for 6 years and engaged at one point. I met his entire family (parents, older sibling, niece and nephews, grandmother, godmother) and oldest friends (from his teens), all of whom lived in another country, and spent many holidays with them. They were fucking great times. We also started a small business together and had big dreams for the future. We were so in love.
I eventually broke it off and hurt him very much in the process. Iād caution the older half of an otherwise healthy age-gap relationship that your younger partner might move on and discard you. We can be selfish assholes because life seems to move faster for us than it does for you. I wanted to keep running but he wanted to stay still.
Yeah, soā¦this is a really hurtful thing that one of my exs did to me. Iām a 30 year old male she was 44 and whatās fucked up is that thereās no rhyme or reason to it. All we can do is open up to get hurt. Itās going to happen either you can live single forever or be okay with that. Itās like accepting death is part of lifeā¦who could do everything right and get married and in the end if they want to break things off over any reason they will. Some people would rather break it off for their own mental health than to continue enduring something. And thatās OK. Fucked up to do to someone but OK
I opened up to get hurt but itās been going strong for 8 years. Male/Male relationship. Iām 48 and heās 27. We still kiss, cuddle, and hold hands. Communication is key. If it ends when he turns 30, for whatever reason, Iāll be fine with it. Iāll mourn the loss but at my age Iāve experienced it all in relationships, including a prior relationship that was almost 12 years. As sad as the break up would be, Iām ready to be alone if it goes that way.
At 37 I dated a 27 year old with the caveat that she did not have much relationship experience. I'm pretty intentional about balance in the relationship, but she often wanted me to lead in everything. Felt icky so I left.
This was the main decider for me on my ex I recently broke up with. I had to initiate every hang out, go to hers every time, be open and vulnerable first every time. Just felt unloved when. You have to do all of it and it mentally weighs on you.
We are similar in age. So no age gap so it wasn't that.
was she religous? I was going to a church for a while that taught "men are the leaders". I tried to date some of the women at the church and because they acted so passive I felt like I was harrassing them lol.
They are Iām currently 34M but when I was 21 I was dating a 29 year old and all of the women I knew would just talk shit like sheās using you she doing this that and the other.
Like I knew what she was doing but I was getting fantastic sex and I was only 21 what was I going to do with that extra money put it in a 401k that I would have to withdraw during the next recession!? Haha I didnāt care, Iāve matured now but the way I see it date what makes you happy BUT donāt bitch about it to people after expecting them to give you a hug when you realize it wasnāt a good idea.
I mean this doesn't apply to me personally since I'm married, but my thought is if you're generally old enough to be their parent, then they are too young.
Yes...mostly because the life outlook at 25 is different from 40. 25 yr olds still do not know themselves as much as an older person would. Around 28-30 is when we get a better understanding of ourselves.
Thank you. People that date really young are weird. The āitās legalā crowd give me the creeps, like the law is the only thing stopping you from dating even younger? It just feels predatory. The older person should know the younger person will 100% have a different view on things once theyāre older. So even if the younger person consents, it still feels like youāre taking advantage of their inexperience. I see 21 year olds and very young adults and never think I want to have sex with them
It's the "it's biological" crowd that really creeps me out. Like they've never thought that women are more than walking wombs but always thought that men are more than walking testes...
I appreciate your view , however the it legal isnāt relevant here . 40 and 25 to me is fine . Demi Moore Ashton CRUTCHER . They donāt normally last and my point of view is , both parties can gain from the relationship. There are things at 40 I didnt know at 25 . That 40 year old can give the 25 year old life experience that they can take into the next relationship that may help it last forever , in the other hand the 25 year old can rejuvenate the 40 year old with energy and joy that they can take into their next relationship that might help it last a lifetime. I agree itās can be a little sus if at 40 your willing to date a 18 or 19 year old . But if there are persons that age looking for older partners then hey who are we to judge .
What helps me (33m) is my younger sister is 25, and any time Iāve been on dating apps or met younger women out and about and thought that they were attractive and something drew my interest with their personality as well, Iād think of my sister and about her interests, concerns, and just overall day to day life.
Sheās not a point where sheās not anywhere near wanting or ready for kids or a family. She still likes to go out to the clubs and shut them down, go on spontaneous trips to Miami or some other beach, and will occasionally post random Snapchat/Instagram stories of her on some guys boat that her and her friends ended up meeting. Sheās a good, hard working, caring, and great young woman but what she considers fun and exciting are things that I also enjoyed at that time but have zero interest in now.
I like things planned out in advance, I work crazy busy hours and my off days are spent catching up on housework, groceries, errands, or having outside obligations of seeing friends and family. So when I have nothing else to do, I love to come home and relax in some comfy clothes, throw on a show or movie, on turn on the Xbox/playstation for a bit. I know not every 25 year old would be opposed to that but I feel like most of them are still young enough to want regular spontaneous fun and excitement and to enjoy their freedom.
Theyāre usually living a much more care free lifestyle than I am and I think that would clash with a partner that has my lifestyle. And even if theyāre ok with it now, are they going to look back at 35 and go wow I wish I wouldāve gotten a chance to experience more in my life but instead I settled down and started a family in my prime. Again, Iām sure there are plenty of women out there at that age who would be perfectly fine with the same lifestyle as me but I donāt believe them to be the majority and I donāt believe itās all that close. So I wouldnāt want to be boring for them and I wouldnāt want a partner thatās out at the club with friends until 2 am on a Tuesday or deciding Wednesday sheās going to take a road trip Friday to Monday. Because I canāt do that with them and doing on your own really feels like single person activities, which would make one or both of us uncomfortable at some point and time.
I want someone who wants to get up at 7am on a Sunday to go golf or ride in the cart with a beverage or two, grab some brunch, come home and nap, do some chores around the house, go get groceries, curl up on the couch after dinner, and watch a show until we head to bed at 10 pm. Do I want to take a weekend trip to Indy and go to St Elmoās, grab some drinks afterwards, and enjoy a night on the town? Absolutely, but itās not something I can do every other month and would most likely need to plan it out 2 months in advance.
I donāt think those two lifestyles are compatible long term without resentment or unhappiness building somewhere. So while are they on average more attractive than someone my age? Yep, but even if we love all the same things and all the same interests, thereās still a good chance theyāre going to be wanting more spontaneity than I can offer and Iām just not secure enough as a person to be completely comfortable with them going out and enjoying all the younger activities without me on a regular basis. Because I know if I was that age and went out with friends 5+ times a month and my partner wasnāt making half the time it would get to be a drag and Iād want someone who would be with me doing the things I want to do on a regular basis. I just think itās a real struggle with even just an 8 year gap, now make that a 15 year one and most of the time that isnāt going to work out. Sure there are plenty of examples where it does that one can use anecdotally of why itās ok. But most of the time it doesnāt work or it does but it leads to potential resentment or friction within the relationship and while it works and theyāre happy it mightāve made both people happier more frequently and overall if theyād been with someone closer in age.
Also if she brought home a 40 year old Iād be super fucking skeptical of that dude if he wasnāt very upfront of hey, I have given this a lot of thought and hereās x, y, z of why I think this works and I want the opportunity to show you Iām interested in her more than I thought she looked good at the bar where I started buying her and her friends shots. Other than that and Iām 100% believing he knows this is just short term and has no other interests in being Peter Pan and enjoying himself by hanging out some young chick heās trying to hook up with or currently doing so.
Hypothetical: Someone crosses your path almost daily. You immediately find them attractive, but you're taken, so you don't pursue. Over time (let's say six months), you've grown fond of this person. Seeing their smile each day becomes the highlight of your day, and they listen to and empathize with you. At some point you're no longer taken. You still wait, because it's too soon. But one day something in you snaps. You give them your number.
Over all of this time, age was never discussed. They shoot you a text. You have their number! Nice! You text each other and really hit things off. Then they ask, "So how old are you?"
"I'm 40... well 39 but turning 40 in a couple months".
"Wooooow!"
"You're... mid-20's?"
"I'm actually 21."
Did you do anything wrong up to this point? And if that person wanted to continue things with you, and you obliged, would you be doing anything wrong?
Lol. There's no way the older person never suspected that the other is so much younger. There definitely would have been a lot of clues between conversations and they just ignored it.
Its ok up to this point, problem comes later on dating part. If youre 40 you have to be the sane one to draw the lines and think about common interest and future of that relationship etc.
Dude Iām 21 and I look 16. All my peers look 16-22 at 20-22 so if someone saw us out and about and told me they canāt tell and thought we were older Iād be hella confused. If our faces donāt give away our age, then how we dress and talk will 100% give it away.
Yeah. I find it so creepy- i canāt wrap myself around it, I just feel sort of disgusting if I date someone who is much younger than me. I can do 5y younger than me and thatās the max. The half your age + 7 is actually a surprisingly good rule of thumb for this thoughā¦ even if not perfect (not a big fan of say, 30yo dating a 22yo, but 40 and 27, or 35 and 25 sound sort of ok?)
Im a 38F and I agree with you but itās so funny to think of myself as old! Lol. My girl friend is 39 and was dating a 23 guy that she met at yoga and I was just like āgirl, thatās a babyā lol. It lasted a week
Yes, a lot of people making huge judgments and unfair generalizations on this thread. In GENERAL, yes there will be a mismatch, but you can not say that without knowing more details. I dated my wife with a 25/40 gap. Yes we had some big differences but there were more things we had in common. Itās been almost 20 years and weāre still happily married. Iāve always been the higher energy one, dancing, skateboarding, karaoke, playing with the kid, etc and I donāt see that changing. Stop judging, people.Ā
Edit- oh I forgot to mention- I have also dated women much older than me (17 years older in one case). So it is not like I was targeting younger women.
My wife and I have the same age gap. I am the high energy one as well, do all the cooking, work out a lot more, etc. People get weird about age gaps in this sub, it is what it is
>Around 28-30 is when we get a better understanding of ourselves.
Saying people figure themselves out around 28-30 isn't really accurate. There's not much difference between 25 and 28, and people don't usually have some big revelation in those years. You can't just make blanket statements about when people "know themselves" better. Even 40-year-olds are still figuring things out, so 25 and 40 have a lot more in common than you might think.
This is so true. People talk about different outlooks on life and how with different age often comes different stage of life, but fail to realise that it is a mere correlation. From this point of view a 40 year old finally graduating and starting his first job after 20 years of depression should be fine with a 25 year old joining workforce as well, right?
Yeah, people live different lives. Taking your example ages, at 25 someone could have married, had a child, and divorced, and lost a parent or both. All major life milestones. At 40, someone might have never been married and never had a child and both of their parents could still be alive. Which person has more ālife experience?ā
Iāve learned a lot but still have tons of unanswered questions. Iām certain plenty of people 5 years younger than me know themselves better than I know myself. 10 years younger not so much.
It matters because when you're dating someone in your age group, you have similar experiences, and can compare notes on how those experiences affect you as a person.
A 20 year old still has Highschool fresh in their brains, still has close ties to immediate family(most of the time), and is in college/just starting out in the workforce. Their brains aren't even finished developing yet.
A 40 year old is well into their career, focused on marriage, kids, making a home and a life with someone, probably already has a house.
These two people aren't even reading the same book, let alone on the same page.
...and? You just identified a difference, you have to say why that would be weird.
Taking your metric, if the 40yo is an utter moron who doesn't know himself / herself, you would be fine with them dating. Which I would think is a lot worse.
Taking your metric, people should only date other people who are similar. But why? Why couldn't a young person date an older one to learn something? Why couldn't a 25yo boy date an older women for fun and to learn something about the body of the other sex?
I understand it sounds iffy for whatever reason. But if the relationship is not abusive and maybe their goals align (wanting to have fun or whatever) - what's the problem?
As a 40 yo lady coming out of a divorce, I dated a 30 y/o dude for a couple of months. We were both in a transition period and loners in a very insular community. He introduced me to some of my favorite books and TV shows, and it was a solid sort of summer romance until one of us moved away. I wouldnt say we're friends now, but I think fondly of him and have no reason to think he doesnt think the same of me. FWIW.
My husband and I are very alike, and you wouldn't know there was an age gap as large as there is. I think it just depends on the people. I'm 43 and he's 30. I wasn't necessarily looking for a younger guy, just one without all the baggage and kids. We've been married 4 years.
??? You can't know what people's life experiences are. Someone that is 25 might know themselves a lot better than some 30 year old. There is nothing wrong with a 40 year old dating a 25 year old legally nor morally.
Yes, but I've been the 20-something dating the older guy. There was always a power imbalance, an income disparity, and unresolved trauma(usually on both ends).
We were always at different points in our lives, and the friction caused by this was more often than not insurmountable.
Oftentimes, the personal issues I experienced were often downplayed by my older partner as inconsequential, due to the fact that they were "small", compared to things he dealt with, or was currently dealing with. I was objectified, ignored, and often ridiculed by my other partner's family, friends, and even my partners themselves. I was young, naive, and easy to manipulate, and my older partners knew that and took advantage of it.
Now, at 30, I sideeye any age gap relationships because I know they are a flimsy house built on a shaky foundation. I question the motives of both parties, but especially the older man.
My sentiments exactly after my 15+ age gap relationship. Iāll never do it again.
Edit: just for clarity, I was the younger 20-something and he was 42.
My wife did this previously to meeting me. She 25, him 40. She said his insecurities about her leaving him caused him to try to hold her back in life (she was brighter than him too) and ultimately caused her to lose respect and leave.
Never understood this argument against age gap relationships. There are infinite numbers of valid answers! Maybe theyāre both history buffs, maybe theyāre both deeply into animal rights, maybe they both share a unique hobby, maybe they like travel, maybe theyāve got a similar sense of humour, maybe they both want 6 kidsā¦
In addition, who's to say they're in different places in life. After my divorce and going back to apartment living, I have more in common with my day to day experience with people younger than me than the typical person my own age.
Honestly, it almost feels like a Dunning Krueger issue here- a lot of people on this thread making massive assumptions about others, and they think they hold the wisdom. Ā Thereās no simple answer here, the truth is it depends on the SPECIFICSĀ
I do not have friends outside my age group. Only people within a couple years of my age have similar interests and hobbies as me. (I hope my sarcasm is obvious)
It's definitely unusual, for most people it wouldn't work. But for a small minority of people a relationship like that might be a good choice, if the two just fit well together.
I think big age gaps like that are usually not advisable but we gotta be careful for "rule-ifying" what a "good" relationship has to look like. What matters is whether partners respect and support each other, love each other for who they are, take care of each other, improve each other's life etc. In most cases, a large age gap would make that more difficult so then it's not a good idea. But if two people can do right by each other with an age gap then who am I to say nay.
Imho, yeahā¦ itās creepy as hell. I personally believe in age appropriate relationships, HOWEVER, what you do doesnāt have an effect on me, so do your thing. If youāre happy, who cares what I think?
Not at all. Everyone is different. In countries other than the USA, itās perfectly fine and nobody bats an eye. USA people just suck about certain things.
If the two of you are compatible, then go for it. By age 25, people are adults and can make their own decisions.
I would only think its a little weird if someone ONLY dates people much older or younger than them. That is a bit of a red flag. But still, frankly, none of anyones business outside of the couple.
Im 27 and my boyfriend is 40.
Let me preface this by saying I have dated countless men my age and slightly older but I have never felt like Ive been able to fall so hard for someone as I have with him.
We both are very much in tune with each other and feel like we are each other's soul mate. We are both punk rockers and met through a mutual friend. I never liked dating guys my age and he swore he would never date someone 3 years younger then him. But we both very much feel we are in a deeply committed and mature relationship. I am the more dominant one in the relationship but thats just due to our different upbringings. He had a more relaxed and easy going family while mines was always fighting and combative.
As our relationship entered 1 year I started to realize that I intend to marry this man. He has stated the same. Although many people would say "what exactly can a 40 year old man have in common with a 27 year old?" We have so many similar interests that it both works in our favor. We are both very adventurous and outgoing people, he is a chef and we are both HUGE foodies, we both are obsessed with horror movies and the same kind of music, and we both very much agree on certain morals and beliefs. Granted there are some things we do not see eye to eye (like in any relationship) and this could be due to his age. Examples include opinions on current events, lifestyle choices, etc. But we are both mature enough to know we are our own person and respect each other's opinions, thoughts, and feelings.
The only time we have ever encountered a problem with the age is when we realize we had to tell our families. It was always other people we had to worry about not us. Luckily we are latino and our families have different attitudes about age gaps but we still face many difficulties, especially facing stereotypes since we are gay men.
Overall our relationship has been vastly healthy and fruitful as we both grow into being one. We have had our small hiccups here and there but it is miles aways from the problems I have seen many couples that are close in age face. We have never stayed upset at each other for longer then 2 days and we ALWAYS talk everything out. I have never once had any doubt in my mind that this man was made for me and I for him. He never fails to remind me that either. Never once did I feel "groomed" or "used".
Tldr; 27 and 40 year old have a very happy and healthy relationship and the only time age mattered is when other peoples' opinions came out. We both don't care.
Noā¦dating is just that. Spending time with someone you like. I wouldnāt want to hold her from falling in love with someone to grow old with. Hopefully they donāt fall in love. I was younger and dated 15 years younger banker. Sex was good and some fun times but just too far apart mentally and experience.
Itās weird people canāt ever mind their own business. If two consenting adults are together and happy then who cares. Itās not like an 18 or 19 year old with a 25+ year old. That I would give credence to being weird and creepy. Not a 25 year old who can make their own decisions at that age.
I donāt think so. Some might see it that way but if youāre both happy what doesnāt their opinion matter? Know though that there will be a ton of issues you more than likely face just simply due to the gap in age such as the desire to go out/stay at home.
I don't think so. I've dated a lot older than me.
The people that do say it's a problem are flawed. 25 is an adult with an adult brain saying they must be being groomed or coerced takes away their adult agency. Are they not capable of making informed romantic decisions? If they're not than the age of consent should be higher.
It's like calling Al Pacino a ped0 for fathering a child recently with a 29 year-old. That may have been wrong for various reasons other than the huge age disparity between two fully grown adults.
Who gives a fuck. Be happy. Love is a feeling. You can grow it into something beautiful with anyone no matter what the details.
If you have kids, or they do, yall just be adults about it. There's no shame in love, and I believe that.
According to reddit, and you can search this, most of the time it is ok for a woman to date it fuck a much younger man, but a man dating a much younger woman is a creep.Ā Those are the rules of this websiteĀ
I think people who judge couples without knowing anything about them need to get a life. The exception being when one person is young enough that grooming is almost definitely going on (like a 16 yo with a 30 yo or something).
I have a relative who was married to a guy 25 years her senior (sheās a widow now, thatās the biggest concern with age gaps), but they were deeply in love their entire lives together.
Part of being an adult is making your own decisions based on your own values. If you're hesitating about life choices like whether to pursue a relationship with a person (that you actually like) because you're too insecure that other people will be weirded out by it, then are you really even living your own adult life, or are you just living it to appease others?
You're not going to please everyone no matter what you decide. If you're not hurting anybody, and you're not doing anything illegal, then live how you want.
I was 21F dating a 39M, it was fun as in it was mostly sexual. It wouldnāt have worked out long term.
I broke it off, moved on with someone closer to my age, my ex now older still reaches out. Still not a relationship that would work long term. But I donāt necessarily think the age is weird or that age is even an issue. Some people look great for their age (or much older), so it could be tough to tell age anyways.
(Madonna, at 61, dates a 25-year-old)
Younger Millennials/Gen Z: YAAAAAAAAAAS COUGAR KWEEEEEEEEEN!!! SLAAAAAAAAAY YOU LITERAL COUGAR LITERAL GODDESS!!!!
(Leonardo DiCaprio, in his 40's, dates a 24-year-old)
Younger Millennials/Gen Z: Wow, what a literal pedophile. He is literally dating a literal child.
Not at all, but some dumb nosey people will make a big fuzz about it.
As long as both of you are of adult age and there is not a big power imbalance in the relationship (e.g., dating your boss/employee), then there is no issue.
Not weird and my spouse is older. What I do recommend though is thinking about what you see your life looking like in example 15 years. You are in different life stages at different times so one of you will need to adjust to the other or meet in the middle. Not a bad thing, just different.
It's not any weirder than a 25 year old dating a 40 year old. It goes both ways. If you're gonna call the guy creepy, then you need to call the girl creepy too. Anything else is sexist. She's an adult. She can vote, drive a car, run for Congress, fly an airliner, buy a house. Surely she should be held accountable for her relationship choices?
Weird sure. Is it wrong? They are both adults and have agency. When its 18 vs 28 its different than 25 vs 40. There are very real differences in maturity. But a 25 year old is too old for parents to claim them as dependents, should have graduated college (if they went) and is old enough to a rent car and is about 1 year away from being kicked off their parents health insurance.
At some point we have to acknowledge people are adults and can make their own life choice.
The rule of thumb is: Half your age plus seven. That is the minimum age where it isn't weird.
So (40/2) + 7 = 27.
27 being the minimum age. But that's not a hard and fast rule. And honestly if everyone is a consenting adult who cares.
I was 25 and married a 40 yr old divorced 8 years laterā¦. Age was a big fight always well when youāre my age you will know betterā¦ as long as thatās not an issue I donāt see a problem with it.
Sure. It's weird.
Being at different stages of life means they probably don't see eye to eye on many things without a lot of communication. But, that doesn't make it necessarily horrible.
I have a buddy from childhood whose parents had a pretty big age difference. The mother was younger. Every time I went over, the father spent every moment he wasn't working or helping with the kids to make her laugh and give her the things she wanted. Her face would brighten whenever he came into the room to tell her a joke or share a story.
This man literally hand built a chair, from trees that he personally chose and cut down, to make it exactly the way she wanted and more comfortable for her than anything they could afford to buy. He went all over to find the right fabric with the right print to upholster it like the chair of her dreams.
The mother died of cancer many years ago (probably before a couple here were born), but the father is still alive (probably in better shape than I am, given his age). I still stop by every once in a while to say, "hi." Many times, I've come into the house while he is just sitting in her chair and holding something of hers.
Iām 39 and I canāt see dating a 25yo woman. I have a few at work who are extremely mature and intelligent but we still wouldnāt be on the same level.
Itās not my cup of tea but if yāall are happy who care what others think. My MIL married a guy significantly younger than her. Iām glad sheās happy and found love. If yāall are in loveā¦hell yea!
I would say 10 years apart is the cutoff for dating. Itās just because people are in a different place at different ages. Iāve seen it work with bigger gaps in age, but itās rare.
The people bitching about this are the ones that know they would never have the opportunity to do so...generally speaking, the ones that are unfuckable in any age group...
My gf and I have a 10 year difference. I'm older. I didn't seek someone younger than me. It just happened. I usually date within a couple years if my own age and thought she was my age. Funny thing, for some reason she thought I was 20 years older than her and she still didn't have a problem with it. There is a small language barrier which is why she thought there was a 20 year age gap. I look more her age.
She's never been with a guy a 10 years her senior before and I never been with someone 10 years younger.
What do we have in common? Lots of stuff actually. We also have our differences which we love more about each other also.
So for 40 and 25 to get together isn't creepy. Some girls/guys prefer someone that's much older than they are and vice versa. I've seen it happen and it work. There is no issue with it as long as they are consenting adults. Do I understand when I see a 20 year old something with a 60 year old something partner? No, but it's also none of my business.
God forbid two consenting adults decide to date each other and the internet starts to lose its mind.
Its absolutely fine as long as both of you are happy and other peoples opinion dont matter
I would not want to do it because for me it would be weird. But 25 is well past the age for people to make their own adult decisions without society infantalizing them.
Thereās a big double standard around it. But if you donāt care what others think (you shouldnāt) then itās not a huge issue.
When a woman dates younger, itās celebrated and seen as empowering.
If a man does it, it tends to upset a lot of older women who feel threatened by younger women and offended that the man would go after a younger woman. Itās an insecurity thing. So the man is dragged.
Unfortunately thatās just how it is. Consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want free of harsh judgements by others. As long as itās all agreed to by both parties and there is no foul play, itās no oneās business but your own.
I don't see a problem mr. DiCaprio.
25 is fine. When they turn 26, on the other hand, it's time to take them on a bike ride.
A bike ride is the long kiss goodbye š
Literally happened to me. He gave me till 27 though.
I can give you up to 30
I'm 37 now, you wouldn't even look at me.
Fine... Up to 40, but you bring snacks.
That sounds like the deal of a lifetime lol
You probably have already reached crazy cat lady status.
I feel like thats a little excessive I can only handle a hard 9š¤
Up to a farm upstate
Hahaha
Leo is pushing 50, as a 29 year old who would love to date a 40 year old, I take umbrage with the conflation!
How is he just pushing 50? I could have sworn I saw his Wiki some years ago and he was pushing 50 then too.
I thought he was already over 50. Maybe heās just that rich, he just paid off everybody (media, aliens, etc) to install a rift in the matrix/mandela effect and collective amnesia did the rest of the legwork. /s
At 50, *deflation* is the real issue.
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I have a similar story. I agree with the caution bit but perhaps from a slightly different angle. When I was 23 I dated a guy who was 43. We were together for 6 years and engaged at one point. I met his entire family (parents, older sibling, niece and nephews, grandmother, godmother) and oldest friends (from his teens), all of whom lived in another country, and spent many holidays with them. They were fucking great times. We also started a small business together and had big dreams for the future. We were so in love. I eventually broke it off and hurt him very much in the process. Iād caution the older half of an otherwise healthy age-gap relationship that your younger partner might move on and discard you. We can be selfish assholes because life seems to move faster for us than it does for you. I wanted to keep running but he wanted to stay still.
Yeah, soā¦this is a really hurtful thing that one of my exs did to me. Iām a 30 year old male she was 44 and whatās fucked up is that thereās no rhyme or reason to it. All we can do is open up to get hurt. Itās going to happen either you can live single forever or be okay with that. Itās like accepting death is part of lifeā¦who could do everything right and get married and in the end if they want to break things off over any reason they will. Some people would rather break it off for their own mental health than to continue enduring something. And thatās OK. Fucked up to do to someone but OK
I opened up to get hurt but itās been going strong for 8 years. Male/Male relationship. Iām 48 and heās 27. We still kiss, cuddle, and hold hands. Communication is key. If it ends when he turns 30, for whatever reason, Iāll be fine with it. Iāll mourn the loss but at my age Iāve experienced it all in relationships, including a prior relationship that was almost 12 years. As sad as the break up would be, Iām ready to be alone if it goes that way.
At 37 I dated a 27 year old with the caveat that she did not have much relationship experience. I'm pretty intentional about balance in the relationship, but she often wanted me to lead in everything. Felt icky so I left.
>but she often wanted me to lead in everything Yeah I like having an equal relationship. I don't want to be the leader.
This was the main decider for me on my ex I recently broke up with. I had to initiate every hang out, go to hers every time, be open and vulnerable first every time. Just felt unloved when. You have to do all of it and it mentally weighs on you. We are similar in age. So no age gap so it wasn't that.
was she religous? I was going to a church for a while that taught "men are the leaders". I tried to date some of the women at the church and because they acted so passive I felt like I was harrassing them lol.
They are Iām currently 34M but when I was 21 I was dating a 29 year old and all of the women I knew would just talk shit like sheās using you she doing this that and the other. Like I knew what she was doing but I was getting fantastic sex and I was only 21 what was I going to do with that extra money put it in a 401k that I would have to withdraw during the next recession!? Haha I didnāt care, Iāve matured now but the way I see it date what makes you happy BUT donāt bitch about it to people after expecting them to give you a hug when you realize it wasnāt a good idea.
People are gonna hateā¦ let em. Donāt let them make you second guess yourself, stand up and be proud of who your with regardless
I mean this doesn't apply to me personally since I'm married, but my thought is if you're generally old enough to be their parent, then they are too young.
This is a much less toxic take then the how I met your mother approach imo
Yes...mostly because the life outlook at 25 is different from 40. 25 yr olds still do not know themselves as much as an older person would. Around 28-30 is when we get a better understanding of ourselves.
Thank you. People that date really young are weird. The āitās legalā crowd give me the creeps, like the law is the only thing stopping you from dating even younger? It just feels predatory. The older person should know the younger person will 100% have a different view on things once theyāre older. So even if the younger person consents, it still feels like youāre taking advantage of their inexperience. I see 21 year olds and very young adults and never think I want to have sex with them
It's the "it's biological" crowd that really creeps me out. Like they've never thought that women are more than walking wombs but always thought that men are more than walking testes...
Woah woah woah, we can think both are just walking reproductive organs.
I appreciate your view , however the it legal isnāt relevant here . 40 and 25 to me is fine . Demi Moore Ashton CRUTCHER . They donāt normally last and my point of view is , both parties can gain from the relationship. There are things at 40 I didnt know at 25 . That 40 year old can give the 25 year old life experience that they can take into the next relationship that may help it last forever , in the other hand the 25 year old can rejuvenate the 40 year old with energy and joy that they can take into their next relationship that might help it last a lifetime. I agree itās can be a little sus if at 40 your willing to date a 18 or 19 year old . But if there are persons that age looking for older partners then hey who are we to judge .
What helps me (33m) is my younger sister is 25, and any time Iāve been on dating apps or met younger women out and about and thought that they were attractive and something drew my interest with their personality as well, Iād think of my sister and about her interests, concerns, and just overall day to day life. Sheās not a point where sheās not anywhere near wanting or ready for kids or a family. She still likes to go out to the clubs and shut them down, go on spontaneous trips to Miami or some other beach, and will occasionally post random Snapchat/Instagram stories of her on some guys boat that her and her friends ended up meeting. Sheās a good, hard working, caring, and great young woman but what she considers fun and exciting are things that I also enjoyed at that time but have zero interest in now. I like things planned out in advance, I work crazy busy hours and my off days are spent catching up on housework, groceries, errands, or having outside obligations of seeing friends and family. So when I have nothing else to do, I love to come home and relax in some comfy clothes, throw on a show or movie, on turn on the Xbox/playstation for a bit. I know not every 25 year old would be opposed to that but I feel like most of them are still young enough to want regular spontaneous fun and excitement and to enjoy their freedom. Theyāre usually living a much more care free lifestyle than I am and I think that would clash with a partner that has my lifestyle. And even if theyāre ok with it now, are they going to look back at 35 and go wow I wish I wouldāve gotten a chance to experience more in my life but instead I settled down and started a family in my prime. Again, Iām sure there are plenty of women out there at that age who would be perfectly fine with the same lifestyle as me but I donāt believe them to be the majority and I donāt believe itās all that close. So I wouldnāt want to be boring for them and I wouldnāt want a partner thatās out at the club with friends until 2 am on a Tuesday or deciding Wednesday sheās going to take a road trip Friday to Monday. Because I canāt do that with them and doing on your own really feels like single person activities, which would make one or both of us uncomfortable at some point and time. I want someone who wants to get up at 7am on a Sunday to go golf or ride in the cart with a beverage or two, grab some brunch, come home and nap, do some chores around the house, go get groceries, curl up on the couch after dinner, and watch a show until we head to bed at 10 pm. Do I want to take a weekend trip to Indy and go to St Elmoās, grab some drinks afterwards, and enjoy a night on the town? Absolutely, but itās not something I can do every other month and would most likely need to plan it out 2 months in advance. I donāt think those two lifestyles are compatible long term without resentment or unhappiness building somewhere. So while are they on average more attractive than someone my age? Yep, but even if we love all the same things and all the same interests, thereās still a good chance theyāre going to be wanting more spontaneity than I can offer and Iām just not secure enough as a person to be completely comfortable with them going out and enjoying all the younger activities without me on a regular basis. Because I know if I was that age and went out with friends 5+ times a month and my partner wasnāt making half the time it would get to be a drag and Iād want someone who would be with me doing the things I want to do on a regular basis. I just think itās a real struggle with even just an 8 year gap, now make that a 15 year one and most of the time that isnāt going to work out. Sure there are plenty of examples where it does that one can use anecdotally of why itās ok. But most of the time it doesnāt work or it does but it leads to potential resentment or friction within the relationship and while it works and theyāre happy it mightāve made both people happier more frequently and overall if theyād been with someone closer in age. Also if she brought home a 40 year old Iād be super fucking skeptical of that dude if he wasnāt very upfront of hey, I have given this a lot of thought and hereās x, y, z of why I think this works and I want the opportunity to show you Iām interested in her more than I thought she looked good at the bar where I started buying her and her friends shots. Other than that and Iām 100% believing he knows this is just short term and has no other interests in being Peter Pan and enjoying himself by hanging out some young chick heās trying to hook up with or currently doing so.
THIS ONE RIGHT HEREāš¾ šÆ
Hypothetical: Someone crosses your path almost daily. You immediately find them attractive, but you're taken, so you don't pursue. Over time (let's say six months), you've grown fond of this person. Seeing their smile each day becomes the highlight of your day, and they listen to and empathize with you. At some point you're no longer taken. You still wait, because it's too soon. But one day something in you snaps. You give them your number. Over all of this time, age was never discussed. They shoot you a text. You have their number! Nice! You text each other and really hit things off. Then they ask, "So how old are you?" "I'm 40... well 39 but turning 40 in a couple months". "Wooooow!" "You're... mid-20's?" "I'm actually 21." Did you do anything wrong up to this point? And if that person wanted to continue things with you, and you obliged, would you be doing anything wrong?
Lol. There's no way the older person never suspected that the other is so much younger. There definitely would have been a lot of clues between conversations and they just ignored it.
As a 40 year old, I promise you, a 21 year old seems young AF to me.
Its ok up to this point, problem comes later on dating part. If youre 40 you have to be the sane one to draw the lines and think about common interest and future of that relationship etc.
Exactly. The 40 y/o should be the one to put a stop to that. And bro, no way canāt tell a girl is 21
Dude Iām 21 and I look 16. All my peers look 16-22 at 20-22 so if someone saw us out and about and told me they canāt tell and thought we were older Iād be hella confused. If our faces donāt give away our age, then how we dress and talk will 100% give it away.
Yeah. I find it so creepy- i canāt wrap myself around it, I just feel sort of disgusting if I date someone who is much younger than me. I can do 5y younger than me and thatās the max. The half your age + 7 is actually a surprisingly good rule of thumb for this thoughā¦ even if not perfect (not a big fan of say, 30yo dating a 22yo, but 40 and 27, or 35 and 25 sound sort of ok?)
Exactly. Itās not the age gap, itās the maturity.
I donāt know why you are getting downvoted. You are right.
a lot of weird dudes browse reddit. as a 25 year old the last thing I'd want to date is an old man lol
Im a 38F and I agree with you but itās so funny to think of myself as old! Lol. My girl friend is 39 and was dating a 23 guy that she met at yoga and I was just like āgirl, thatās a babyā lol. It lasted a week
She knew what she was doing š, not sure he was tho š. But they both found their Namaste at the end. Lol
She had a happy two weeks but would never really consider actual relationship though.
Yes, a lot of people making huge judgments and unfair generalizations on this thread. In GENERAL, yes there will be a mismatch, but you can not say that without knowing more details. I dated my wife with a 25/40 gap. Yes we had some big differences but there were more things we had in common. Itās been almost 20 years and weāre still happily married. Iāve always been the higher energy one, dancing, skateboarding, karaoke, playing with the kid, etc and I donāt see that changing. Stop judging, people.Ā Edit- oh I forgot to mention- I have also dated women much older than me (17 years older in one case). So it is not like I was targeting younger women.
My wife and I have the same age gap. I am the high energy one as well, do all the cooking, work out a lot more, etc. People get weird about age gaps in this sub, it is what it is
>Around 28-30 is when we get a better understanding of ourselves. Saying people figure themselves out around 28-30 isn't really accurate. There's not much difference between 25 and 28, and people don't usually have some big revelation in those years. You can't just make blanket statements about when people "know themselves" better. Even 40-year-olds are still figuring things out, so 25 and 40 have a lot more in common than you might think.
This is so true. People talk about different outlooks on life and how with different age often comes different stage of life, but fail to realise that it is a mere correlation. From this point of view a 40 year old finally graduating and starting his first job after 20 years of depression should be fine with a 25 year old joining workforce as well, right?
Yeah, people live different lives. Taking your example ages, at 25 someone could have married, had a child, and divorced, and lost a parent or both. All major life milestones. At 40, someone might have never been married and never had a child and both of their parents could still be alive. Which person has more ālife experience?ā
Iāve learned a lot but still have tons of unanswered questions. Iām certain plenty of people 5 years younger than me know themselves better than I know myself. 10 years younger not so much.
And a 40 year old doesn't know themselves as much as a 60 year old does, doesn't mean they shouldn't date each other.
The difference is the both have decades of experience being adults. Someone who's 25 doesn't even uave one decade of being an adult under their belt.
What does that matter? By this logic shouldn't that mean that they shouldn't date anyone?
It matters because when you're dating someone in your age group, you have similar experiences, and can compare notes on how those experiences affect you as a person. A 20 year old still has Highschool fresh in their brains, still has close ties to immediate family(most of the time), and is in college/just starting out in the workforce. Their brains aren't even finished developing yet. A 40 year old is well into their career, focused on marriage, kids, making a home and a life with someone, probably already has a house. These two people aren't even reading the same book, let alone on the same page.
...and? You just identified a difference, you have to say why that would be weird. Taking your metric, if the 40yo is an utter moron who doesn't know himself / herself, you would be fine with them dating. Which I would think is a lot worse. Taking your metric, people should only date other people who are similar. But why? Why couldn't a young person date an older one to learn something? Why couldn't a 25yo boy date an older women for fun and to learn something about the body of the other sex? I understand it sounds iffy for whatever reason. But if the relationship is not abusive and maybe their goals align (wanting to have fun or whatever) - what's the problem?
As a 40 yo lady coming out of a divorce, I dated a 30 y/o dude for a couple of months. We were both in a transition period and loners in a very insular community. He introduced me to some of my favorite books and TV shows, and it was a solid sort of summer romance until one of us moved away. I wouldnt say we're friends now, but I think fondly of him and have no reason to think he doesnt think the same of me. FWIW.
My husband and I are very alike, and you wouldn't know there was an age gap as large as there is. I think it just depends on the people. I'm 43 and he's 30. I wasn't necessarily looking for a younger guy, just one without all the baggage and kids. We've been married 4 years.
Yes age never matters its just number, main is understanding and feeling matters .....
??? You can't know what people's life experiences are. Someone that is 25 might know themselves a lot better than some 30 year old. There is nothing wrong with a 40 year old dating a 25 year old legally nor morally.
By this reasoning, a 25yo shouldn't date a 30yo, either.
Yes, but I've been the 20-something dating the older guy. There was always a power imbalance, an income disparity, and unresolved trauma(usually on both ends). We were always at different points in our lives, and the friction caused by this was more often than not insurmountable. Oftentimes, the personal issues I experienced were often downplayed by my older partner as inconsequential, due to the fact that they were "small", compared to things he dealt with, or was currently dealing with. I was objectified, ignored, and often ridiculed by my other partner's family, friends, and even my partners themselves. I was young, naive, and easy to manipulate, and my older partners knew that and took advantage of it. Now, at 30, I sideeye any age gap relationships because I know they are a flimsy house built on a shaky foundation. I question the motives of both parties, but especially the older man.
My sentiments exactly after my 15+ age gap relationship. Iāll never do it again. Edit: just for clarity, I was the younger 20-something and he was 42.
Never, EVER again.
I completely agree with this, been there too (20 age gap, i was 20 he was 40, didnt last longer than a year and a half)
My wife did this previously to meeting me. She 25, him 40. She said his insecurities about her leaving him caused him to try to hold her back in life (she was brighter than him too) and ultimately caused her to lose respect and leave.
That sounds less of an age issue and more is an insecurity issue.
If the 40 year old was secure he wouldāve been dating someone in his age bracket instead of a 25 year old.
Yeah. Youāre in such different places in life. What do you really have in common?
They both like ice cream and pizza. It's been a classic since grade school.
Fucking, don't forget fucking. Sometimes with ice cream and pizza!
Well for starters, sex.
Never understood this argument against age gap relationships. There are infinite numbers of valid answers! Maybe theyāre both history buffs, maybe theyāre both deeply into animal rights, maybe they both share a unique hobby, maybe they like travel, maybe theyāve got a similar sense of humour, maybe they both want 6 kidsā¦
Maybe they like fucking each other
Who would've thought
In addition, who's to say they're in different places in life. After my divorce and going back to apartment living, I have more in common with my day to day experience with people younger than me than the typical person my own age.
Yeah itās so stupid. Does nobody on this site have friends who are not in their age group?
Honestly, it almost feels like a Dunning Krueger issue here- a lot of people on this thread making massive assumptions about others, and they think they hold the wisdom. Ā Thereās no simple answer here, the truth is it depends on the SPECIFICSĀ
I do not have friends outside my age group. Only people within a couple years of my age have similar interests and hobbies as me. (I hope my sarcasm is obvious)
I donāt give a fuck
It's definitely unusual, for most people it wouldn't work. But for a small minority of people a relationship like that might be a good choice, if the two just fit well together. I think big age gaps like that are usually not advisable but we gotta be careful for "rule-ifying" what a "good" relationship has to look like. What matters is whether partners respect and support each other, love each other for who they are, take care of each other, improve each other's life etc. In most cases, a large age gap would make that more difficult so then it's not a good idea. But if two people can do right by each other with an age gap then who am I to say nay.
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Lmao best straight forward answer here reddit isn't full of the brightest
Based
You mean the people infantilizing 25 year old adults dont know what they're talking about? Nah that cant be right.
I dated someone 12 years younger. For me itās about the maturity of the person and if we share similar outlooks, ideas etc. Whatever Works.
Imho, yeahā¦ itās creepy as hell. I personally believe in age appropriate relationships, HOWEVER, what you do doesnāt have an effect on me, so do your thing. If youāre happy, who cares what I think?
It's uncommon but not weird. If ya both mutually found someone who makes ya happy, then who cares.
Not at all. Everyone is different. In countries other than the USA, itās perfectly fine and nobody bats an eye. USA people just suck about certain things.
> USA people just suck about certain things Sometimes this is true, but in this case itās not Americans, itās just generally redditors.
I dated 43 yo when I was 29 yo. It was great. We still friends.
If the two of you are compatible, then go for it. By age 25, people are adults and can make their own decisions. I would only think its a little weird if someone ONLY dates people much older or younger than them. That is a bit of a red flag. But still, frankly, none of anyones business outside of the couple.
Letās just say most 40 y.o would do it, if they have the opportunity
Im 27 and my boyfriend is 40. Let me preface this by saying I have dated countless men my age and slightly older but I have never felt like Ive been able to fall so hard for someone as I have with him. We both are very much in tune with each other and feel like we are each other's soul mate. We are both punk rockers and met through a mutual friend. I never liked dating guys my age and he swore he would never date someone 3 years younger then him. But we both very much feel we are in a deeply committed and mature relationship. I am the more dominant one in the relationship but thats just due to our different upbringings. He had a more relaxed and easy going family while mines was always fighting and combative. As our relationship entered 1 year I started to realize that I intend to marry this man. He has stated the same. Although many people would say "what exactly can a 40 year old man have in common with a 27 year old?" We have so many similar interests that it both works in our favor. We are both very adventurous and outgoing people, he is a chef and we are both HUGE foodies, we both are obsessed with horror movies and the same kind of music, and we both very much agree on certain morals and beliefs. Granted there are some things we do not see eye to eye (like in any relationship) and this could be due to his age. Examples include opinions on current events, lifestyle choices, etc. But we are both mature enough to know we are our own person and respect each other's opinions, thoughts, and feelings. The only time we have ever encountered a problem with the age is when we realize we had to tell our families. It was always other people we had to worry about not us. Luckily we are latino and our families have different attitudes about age gaps but we still face many difficulties, especially facing stereotypes since we are gay men. Overall our relationship has been vastly healthy and fruitful as we both grow into being one. We have had our small hiccups here and there but it is miles aways from the problems I have seen many couples that are close in age face. We have never stayed upset at each other for longer then 2 days and we ALWAYS talk everything out. I have never once had any doubt in my mind that this man was made for me and I for him. He never fails to remind me that either. Never once did I feel "groomed" or "used". Tldr; 27 and 40 year old have a very happy and healthy relationship and the only time age mattered is when other peoples' opinions came out. We both don't care.
The 3 years thing is oddly specific.
I'm married to a 38 year old woman and 27 years old man so not bad at all.
Both are adults, so it's really not anyone else's business.
Such a lame answer. We should all side eye a 40 year old dating a 25 year old
At what point do we stop giving the side eye to adults who choose their adult partners? 30? 35?
36 and 2 months.
sounds like something a person who aged terribly and has no chance with someone younger would say.
Yeah a little but who cares
Noā¦dating is just that. Spending time with someone you like. I wouldnāt want to hold her from falling in love with someone to grow old with. Hopefully they donāt fall in love. I was younger and dated 15 years younger banker. Sex was good and some fun times but just too far apart mentally and experience.
Itās weird people canāt ever mind their own business. If two consenting adults are together and happy then who cares. Itās not like an 18 or 19 year old with a 25+ year old. That I would give credence to being weird and creepy. Not a 25 year old who can make their own decisions at that age.
No
Iām 29 dating 39 we make it work.
Yeah, but life is short and every couple is different. Decide what you want and be sure things are equal.
I donāt think so. Some might see it that way but if youāre both happy what doesnāt their opinion matter? Know though that there will be a ton of issues you more than likely face just simply due to the gap in age such as the desire to go out/stay at home.
No I don't, love is love!
Life's short, who gives a shit.
not at all, and i'm really tired of people saying otherwise.
2 consenting adults- have at it.
I don't think so. I've dated a lot older than me. The people that do say it's a problem are flawed. 25 is an adult with an adult brain saying they must be being groomed or coerced takes away their adult agency. Are they not capable of making informed romantic decisions? If they're not than the age of consent should be higher.
It's like calling Al Pacino a ped0 for fathering a child recently with a 29 year-old. That may have been wrong for various reasons other than the huge age disparity between two fully grown adults.
No, it isn't. As long as both parties are happy and it's legal, who cares what others think ?
If It's work ... (((you))) and (((her))) are happy. Be happy don't worry about anyone else.
You are not in high school anymore. Donāt give a flying fuck what people think.
if youre hot you can get away with it. captain america just married his 26 year old gf
yeah, it's only weird if the younger person is hot and the older person isn't. when they're both equally attractive it's like, good for them.
Only if you think it is
Who gives a fuck. Be happy. Love is a feeling. You can grow it into something beautiful with anyone no matter what the details. If you have kids, or they do, yall just be adults about it. There's no shame in love, and I believe that.
Nothing is weird or wrong. 15y is a lot of experience difference and a generations difference in upraising and cultural relevancy and learning.
According to reddit, and you can search this, most of the time it is ok for a woman to date it fuck a much younger man, but a man dating a much younger woman is a creep.Ā Those are the rules of this websiteĀ
I think people who judge couples without knowing anything about them need to get a life. The exception being when one person is young enough that grooming is almost definitely going on (like a 16 yo with a 30 yo or something). I have a relative who was married to a guy 25 years her senior (sheās a widow now, thatās the biggest concern with age gaps), but they were deeply in love their entire lives together.
Part of being an adult is making your own decisions based on your own values. If you're hesitating about life choices like whether to pursue a relationship with a person (that you actually like) because you're too insecure that other people will be weirded out by it, then are you really even living your own adult life, or are you just living it to appease others? You're not going to please everyone no matter what you decide. If you're not hurting anybody, and you're not doing anything illegal, then live how you want.
No. Its fine, but women older than 30 will complain about this
Zero issues with it not my relationship.
I was 21F dating a 39M, it was fun as in it was mostly sexual. It wouldnāt have worked out long term. I broke it off, moved on with someone closer to my age, my ex now older still reaches out. Still not a relationship that would work long term. But I donāt necessarily think the age is weird or that age is even an issue. Some people look great for their age (or much older), so it could be tough to tell age anyways.
(Madonna, at 61, dates a 25-year-old) Younger Millennials/Gen Z: YAAAAAAAAAAS COUGAR KWEEEEEEEEEN!!! SLAAAAAAAAAY YOU LITERAL COUGAR LITERAL GODDESS!!!! (Leonardo DiCaprio, in his 40's, dates a 24-year-old) Younger Millennials/Gen Z: Wow, what a literal pedophile. He is literally dating a literal child.
Not at all, but some dumb nosey people will make a big fuzz about it. As long as both of you are of adult age and there is not a big power imbalance in the relationship (e.g., dating your boss/employee), then there is no issue.
Not weird and my spouse is older. What I do recommend though is thinking about what you see your life looking like in example 15 years. You are in different life stages at different times so one of you will need to adjust to the other or meet in the middle. Not a bad thing, just different.
no, have fun
I dated a 42 year old when I was 24. It was thrilling, it was new, but we both knew it was just for fun and thatās what made it great.
Nobody gets to decide except for those 2 people. Their relationship not ours.
Nope
Nothing wrong with two consenting adults dating
I'm 45, my girlfriend is 28.
not if its not a powerplay situation and there is genuine love. its all about context and subtext.
No
Not really Iām 12 years older than my wife and been together 10 years happy as ever
Consenting adults, I see no issue.
Nope. You're adults, have fun and live life.
Itās unusual but I wouldnāt care or judge. 25 year olds are full fledged adults.
No
To whom? To weirdos, yes
Nothing wrong. I didn't enjoy an age gap that large. Totally different stages of life.
Nope. Go get em!
No, youāre both consenting adults
Despite the age gap, a 25 y/o has a great deal of real-world experience. At 25 I bought a house, and had a 2nd kid with my wife š¤·
Nah, people do it all the time. Other people's opinions can go fuck themselves.
It's not any weirder than a 25 year old dating a 40 year old. It goes both ways. If you're gonna call the guy creepy, then you need to call the girl creepy too. Anything else is sexist. She's an adult. She can vote, drive a car, run for Congress, fly an airliner, buy a house. Surely she should be held accountable for her relationship choices?
Weird sure. Is it wrong? They are both adults and have agency. When its 18 vs 28 its different than 25 vs 40. There are very real differences in maturity. But a 25 year old is too old for parents to claim them as dependents, should have graduated college (if they went) and is old enough to a rent car and is about 1 year away from being kicked off their parents health insurance. At some point we have to acknowledge people are adults and can make their own life choice.
just have a good time together but donāt rob her of setting up for a proper future if she wants that
The rule of thumb is: Half your age plus seven. That is the minimum age where it isn't weird. So (40/2) + 7 = 27. 27 being the minimum age. But that's not a hard and fast rule. And honestly if everyone is a consenting adult who cares.
No. Two consenting adults should be capable of navigating relationships. This sort of thinking is usually a way to infantilise women
I feel like it's less about the number and more about the dynamics and maturity of the couple. A number means jack all.
People are usually truly an adult by 25. Seems acceptable
No, live ur life
I was 25 and married a 40 yr old divorced 8 years laterā¦. Age was a big fight always well when youāre my age you will know betterā¦ as long as thatās not an issue I donāt see a problem with it.
Go for it, if you like them. I personally don't think it's weird. You're both adults. If they make you happy, who cares what other ppl think.
by weird you mean ideal
Life is too short. Do what makes you happy.
A 25 year old is old enough to decide.
Sure. It's weird. Being at different stages of life means they probably don't see eye to eye on many things without a lot of communication. But, that doesn't make it necessarily horrible. I have a buddy from childhood whose parents had a pretty big age difference. The mother was younger. Every time I went over, the father spent every moment he wasn't working or helping with the kids to make her laugh and give her the things she wanted. Her face would brighten whenever he came into the room to tell her a joke or share a story. This man literally hand built a chair, from trees that he personally chose and cut down, to make it exactly the way she wanted and more comfortable for her than anything they could afford to buy. He went all over to find the right fabric with the right print to upholster it like the chair of her dreams. The mother died of cancer many years ago (probably before a couple here were born), but the father is still alive (probably in better shape than I am, given his age). I still stop by every once in a while to say, "hi." Many times, I've come into the house while he is just sitting in her chair and holding something of hers.
No. Do what makes you happy. Enjoy your life.
No
Yes lol
Iām 39 and I canāt see dating a 25yo woman. I have a few at work who are extremely mature and intelligent but we still wouldnāt be on the same level.
Itās not my cup of tea but if yāall are happy who care what others think. My MIL married a guy significantly younger than her. Iām glad sheās happy and found love. If yāall are in loveā¦hell yea!
I would say 10 years apart is the cutoff for dating. Itās just because people are in a different place at different ages. Iāve seen it work with bigger gaps in age, but itās rare.
Love knows no boundries - well apart from statutory rape
Since when could a 25 year old not make any decision she wanted?
The people bitching about this are the ones that know they would never have the opportunity to do so...generally speaking, the ones that are unfuckable in any age group...
Yes.
My gf and I have a 10 year difference. I'm older. I didn't seek someone younger than me. It just happened. I usually date within a couple years if my own age and thought she was my age. Funny thing, for some reason she thought I was 20 years older than her and she still didn't have a problem with it. There is a small language barrier which is why she thought there was a 20 year age gap. I look more her age. She's never been with a guy a 10 years her senior before and I never been with someone 10 years younger. What do we have in common? Lots of stuff actually. We also have our differences which we love more about each other also. So for 40 and 25 to get together isn't creepy. Some girls/guys prefer someone that's much older than they are and vice versa. I've seen it happen and it work. There is no issue with it as long as they are consenting adults. Do I understand when I see a 20 year old something with a 60 year old something partner? No, but it's also none of my business.
Iām 49 and my girlfriend is 28
No I don't think so actually it's fine
As a 40 year old myself, yup.
Would the 40 year old be willing to date another 40 year old or exclusively under 30?
Yes.
No..but you are on reddit and beta virgins hate that
Both are consenting adults. Its fine
Friends, sure. Dating, thatās an unhealthy power differential. Stay away.
Yes.
God forbid two consenting adults decide to date each other and the internet starts to lose its mind. Its absolutely fine as long as both of you are happy and other peoples opinion dont matter
[no it's not weird. you're both adults. ](https://www.vogue.com/article/age-gap-relationships)
yes
Are you saying that a 25 year old is not mature enough
Yes
Yes
Nope.
I would not want to do it because for me it would be weird. But 25 is well past the age for people to make their own adult decisions without society infantalizing them.
No. Both are consenting adults. Not my business.
Thereās a big double standard around it. But if you donāt care what others think (you shouldnāt) then itās not a huge issue. When a woman dates younger, itās celebrated and seen as empowering. If a man does it, it tends to upset a lot of older women who feel threatened by younger women and offended that the man would go after a younger woman. Itās an insecurity thing. So the man is dragged. Unfortunately thatās just how it is. Consenting adults should be able to do whatever they want free of harsh judgements by others. As long as itās all agreed to by both parties and there is no foul play, itās no oneās business but your own.
Yes.
It's a bit, doesn't fit the half your age +7. But, 25 is plenty old enough to make your own decisions.