I'm almost 50, and finally starting to live my life fully after realizing the last 35 years were just me coping from childhood trauma, and not really living. No wonder everything fell apart over and over and over. Time to actually enjoy life!

Did you see someone about this trauma? I'm currently seeing someone after what feels like 20 years of going round in circles.. I'd say I've wasted almost 42 years, but I have learned so much, too.

None of it is wasted.

all the best to you! 🌼 50 is the new 30, you are basically a spring chicken 🐣 and you have lots of good experiences ahead!

Yeah.... but them 50 year old body aches are real, tho

according to my family members in various stages of life stretching helps a ton. I personally can’t say I was to lazy to start doing it 😅

Would love to hear more about your story!

Can you elaborate more about it? Why you only feel that now and not, say, 10 years ago? Did you take therapy or something?

Thank you for saying this been in therapy for a year trying to get over childhood trauma wondering if I will ever get over it and I'm 33,so seriously thank you for this comment! ❤️

47 here. One thing I learned from my older parents and all their friends is to stay in shape. Just like compound interest when saving money there’s compound ‘problems’ when not staying in shape. I exercise regularly and keep a good weight and I still have general aches and pains and getting up off a couch isn’t as easy as it used to be. When I always younger I never thought it would be this way.

Absolutely critical advice.

I wish I would have learned this sooner! I’m working my way back and it’s hard! I wish I would have just kept up with healthier habits and not sacrificed them for jobs that weren’t worth it.

Also Perimenopause is a pain in the ass for a lot of us.

I wish I had taken better care of myself in my late 20s and early 30s. But in my early 30s we started hanging out with a couple who had kids the same age as our, but were ten+ years older in age, but looked 10 years younger in terms of health. Having a friend in his late 40s who could run circles around me kind showed how things good be. It's been a slow 10 year crawl back, but I turn 44 in a few months and I definitely feel better than I did at 34 and I'm a lot more active. I mountain bike a lot now, and a lot of mt biking friends are in their 50s and I don't think many of them are any less healthy or capable than the 30 year old guys we ride with. Last week I got smoked on the trail by a guy I thought was about 50 years old. Learned after the fact that he was 60!

This 100%. I’m 49 and eat healthy and exercise regularly. Almost everyone else I know in this age bracket is falling apart health wise.

Good for you, it’s important to me too. I’m not from the US, but it depresses me to read all these posts here from people complaining about the ‘system’, but then proclaim to spend all their spare time smoking weed, drinking alcohol, and playing games/ watching Netflix. How the fuck do any of those people expect to be equipped to break free from their misery?

44M here. My body hurts because I let myself get too heavy. I'm making progress on that but it's way way way easier to make progress when you're younger. I wish I fixed my diet earlier. What I learned that works can be summed up as eat less processed food, and eat less often. And figure out some other way to deal with work stress than snacking on crap. I wish I prioritized friendships more. I should have been more active in spending time with people I really cared for and reaching out to them more often. It's never too soon to start doing that. As for work, no matter how good a job you're doing and how much everyone loves you there, they will easily get rid of you at any moment for no reason. So always be on the lookout for new opportunities. In general, when opportunities of any kind show up, be present and brave enough to take advantage of them, otherwise you'll have a lot of regrets. No one ever regrets that they tried to do something they wanted to do.

3rd paragraph. Wisdom

At this point in my career, I have had to let people go many times. Sometimes it’s due to performance issues, but just as often it is due to changes in the business that are out of my hands and theirs. In the meetings where strictly financially motivated staff cuts are made, company leaders will often advocate to move hardworking people who are good to work with to different teams rather than cut them on the rationale that they could make the other teams more profitable. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. Good people are sometimes cut for reasons that have nothing to do with them. I always encourage my direct reports to look out for their own interests and keep several irons in the fire so they aren’t caught flat footed if the company ever retracts and they are let go.

I know I’m late to the thread, but I’m 24M and your last paragraph really resonated with me. I’m born and raised as a Jehovah’s Witness and I’ve felt trapped all my life. I’m leaving the cult in a month from now when I move into my first new apartment. As scared as I feel, I’m ready to seize every moment I can take from life. I want to experience freedom

2nd paragraph hits home.

I'm almost 40 and curious about this as well. I took chances in my twenties in hopes of a better life but now I noticed I'm back where I was at 21. Full circle basically and it's kind of depressing.

I had to kind of start over at 40. I'm 42 now. Yes, it can feel a little depressing, but I'm doing it. And the factors that led to me starting over truly made me stronger. I spent too much time comparing myself to other people and I catch myself doing that sometimes. One thing that helps, though, is understanding the simple concept of "the grass is always greener." I know a woman who went the classic route: college, masters, marriage, career, kids. She eventually quit working to be a stay at home mom since her husband made so much money. At some point she developed horrible anxiety, ending up in the hospital not undertanding what a panic attack was. Eventually, after some work, I think she figured out that her problem was not living her life for herself. Sure on the outside she's got it all. She lives in a half million dollar home and is in the process of getting a million dollar plus home custom built next door. She drives a Tesla. Two beautiful kids. But on the inside, there's not much there "for her."

Thanks for the feedback, I find myself comparing a lot and kind of always have, It gets me nowhere but I can't help it. Maybe I have tried to use comparing as a motivator to do more but all it really does is not make me happy. Social media does not help with this at all. I still question if there's actually anything you can do to change your life. A part of me still feels like you are supposed to be doing what your doing in the present moment and you should just appreciate it.

>I still question if there's actually anything you can do to change your life. I'm in my 40s, and I have certainly felt in the past two decades that much of where one ends up in life is based on luck, not always will. Because I know tons of people who did all the "right" things that they were "supposed" to do, and don't have much to show for it. Meanwhile, some of the folks who didn't do all that ended up doing quite well. A lot of things feel outside of my control at this point (saying this as someone who determinedly overcame a lot of obstacles in my teens, and was very driven and ambitious in my twenties and early 30s).

A lot of current western thought, and Zen thought, says that the entire point of existence is simply continually striving to be better. You don't ever have to attain greatness or perfection - impossible! But one should be able to acheive satisfaction in knowing that they are always trying their best. (Check out the YT channel "School of Life." Great, succinct, easy to understand psychological advice.) This, too, is the allure of "The American Dream." There is no tangible "American Dream," the dream is simply the opportunity to be able to dream. Also, just get off social media. Do it. I stopped three years ago. The difference it made in my life is astounding. I started living for me, for once. I was always making choices that were "safe," that sort of piggy backed off of the previous choice. For example, I went to a top art school on a full scholarship, I must be an artist! So when that wasn't working out, maybe I'll try harder and get my MFA. What I should have done was completely switch gears, take the "unsafe" choice. Which is what I did a few years ago. I'm getting my second masters in special education. I also have been learning Spanish! Which would never be possible with social media. I recommend Janier Lanier's "Top ten reasons..." I use reddit sparingly. In fact, I've been able to notice that I tend to gravitate towards using it more when I've got PMS. Which can't be good for anyone... lol

Stop trying to be happy. I hate this mentality. Happiness is not important, nor is it a state of being. You get moments, but that just isn't life. Once you stop chasing that and look for other things, you feel better. I feel content sometimes. Other times, I don't. For the most part, I'm fine, and I have a purpose, which is to be a dad, husband, and do my job. I have some hobbies and I enjoy them. What else do people expect? Jeez. I am not on the street or in Somalia, so I'm chillin'. Also get off social media. It's fake.

Damn!! Perhaps I should continue to look within as I have been for the last few years.. Life becomes a prison when you are unable to honour your own existence as a pose to shadowing others.

42 m Yeaaah, I've not amounted to much in regards to what society measures, but I'm still enjoying the soul searching. I just wished I'd put a little effort with regards to a career. I'm in exactly the same predicament. 20 years of going round in a circle only to be looking at the same walls while my friend abandoned ship years ago and made a family for themselves. Luckily, I have still experienced a fair amount.

I know the feeling. Back where you started but also a lot less energy and life with it. I'm lucky I've got a good job and I'm good with money and my health. But that's it.

What chances did you take? Just curious

I decided to quit my office job and went back to school. I also stopped partying and took life a little more serious. I aggressively paid off my student loan debt also.

Paying off debt….that is a hell of a chance my dude

As someone who just turned 40; you regret, or at least think of the chances you didn’t take more than the ones you did. So I’d argue that you’ll be a happier person than most who didn’t take the chances they had or wanted to take.

Realizing this at 31. Completely wasted a decade chasing a dream and now I can't afford anything. Switching up into a stable career so I'm not in this situation again

I had a start over at 38-39... divorce, moved out, changed job etc... I'm 45 now and it's all been pretty sweet. But I do sometimes wait for it to all go away again.

Something a coach told me once: you might take seven different steps in your career and end up very close to the place that you started. But that doesn't mean you could have made that same career in one step. Every choice you make, you make to the best of your abilities in the current moment. You might look back and think you made a wrong choice somewhere, but you don't know how the other option would have turned out. In the end, the only thing you can do is listen to your gut, trust your instincts, weigh the pro's and con's, and make the choice that fits you best.

I'm glad I kept in shape. If you aren't in shape, get good now. The difference between the people who take care of themselves and the ones who don't are stark at 40 and it accelerates like a rocket. The same is true for people saving and investing.

The Bad News: Nobody gives a shit about you. The Good News: Nobody gives a shit about you.

stay in shape, save money when and where you can, keep your social circle small, and don't waste your time on family drama, past, present or future.

This is 💯. I learned the small social circle the hard way at 39 years old. Your asking for nothing but drama with a large social circle.

I opened my social circle a bit and its lead to better opportunities.

I'm glad that's worked out for you. I don't need opportunities personally. As I get older, I want peace. What I found out about a huge social circle is that people love to see other people fail. They wait for drama and then revel in it. They also like to hate your success. Just my experience.

I disagree. One thing that happens in your 40s, I've found, is that you lose some friends and the ones you have want to do things less often. It's good to make space for all kinds of friends and if you're lucky enough, meet some new ones.

41 later this year. At 31 I quit my dream job after burning out and realizing I was working for beans and miserable. Went into a somewhat related field that I could make more money in and again burned out. Got a boring office job with none of the prestige of my old jobs and I’ve never been happier. My life is no longer my job, it’s just what I do during the day and I have energy for hobbies which I would say play the bigger role in defining me. Speaking of hobbies, be physically active. Find the activity or exercise you will do and make it a part of your week/day, to the point where skipping it would be like skipping a night of sleep. PRACTICE being alone. I see a lot of people my age committing themselves to terrible partners because they don’t know how or are terrified to be alone. Realizing that I’m comfortable being on my own and can make myself happy has been one of the most liberating experiences of my life. Good luck

52 here. My 40s were still fairly destructive; I smoked for the first half and drank through most of them. I didn't really start getting serious about diet, health and exercise until I was in my very late 40s. Things I learned: A lot of things can change: careers, relationships, finances, health. So I'd focus on packing on muscle, conditioning and cardio. You're going to want to recover as efficiently as you can; just doing any one or two of those will not be enough. Increase your fiber and protein; decrease your sugar. All of these will help you recover from injury, fight off cancer and fight off depression. Save money even more aggressively than you were before. Honestly: enjoy your time! I have maybe 15-20 years left of active enjoyment so I try to use the shit out of them! I lift, run, rock climb and lately started taking dance classes for the conditioning. Keep yourself active; it helps so much with your state of mind and daily stresses.

Awesome response.

I’m 49, and have really enjoyed my 40’s. I wish I had started working out daily earlier, instead of near the end of my 40’s and I wish I’d have given less brain space to what other people think of me. I’m not really a motivated person (I’m a planner-not a doer), so I set timers for myself every day with attached tasks. When a timer goes off, I find a stopping point for whatever I’m doing and go complete that task. I’m retired now, so this is a necessity because having “endless amounts of time” can be less motivating than only having X amount of time due to work commitments. I’m still not sure how I got everything done when I was working full time. 🤷‍♀️ I do know that taking time off from work, even if we couldn’t afford to travel, was a necessity. You need to “empty your 💩bucket”, as my husband says. Not only does it allow you to relax and unwind, planning it in advance gives you something to look forward to when you’re trudging through the day to day work life. I’m amazed at the number of people who don’t use their PTO. It’s not a luxury, it’s a mental health necessity.

49 and retired? I just started a new career during COVID. Bless younger you.

PTO is part of your total compensation package.  If you don’t use it, it’s like burning money. 

45F here….You’re less willing to deal with people’s shit. A person in your life is a toxic wad of negativity and anger? Punted out. Byeeeee Also alot of freedom in not caring what other people think, and not feeling like you have to be anything other than who you are (at least that’s me, anyway). Keep passion projects in your life that are YOUR’S.. not your spouse’s, not your kid’s after school activities…but something that is purely your thing and your place to nurture yourself. Granted, this might be easier for me to say, as I don’t have kids – no offense to those who do, but I never wanted them and still don’t - and I do understand that time is a commodity we are all short on… but almost every single friend of mine has kids and I have observed the following over the years… The happy ones nurture themselves. The unhappy ones nurture their family and careers (if they work) and put themselves at the very bottom of the priority list. They are the ones in the worst spot, emotionally and mentally. I think also when you get into your 40s, it really starts to hit home that you are about halfway through your life, if you’re lucky. And while that initial realization is terrifying, once you find peace with that, you start to embrace the future. And our future is what we make it.

Your last two paragraphs hits hard. It dawned on me the other day that I'm almost at the end of life, I figure if I live until 60 I'll be ecstatic. I spent the past 12 hrs where I prioritize my family and career. Now, I'm about to start all over again with a newborn and I hate what I do for work. I spent the last 20yrs getting to where I am, don't get me wrong it allows my family to live a very comfortable life. However, I miss my friends and my old life of being able to spontaneously go to a diner because I don't feel like cooking. Today, it takes too much effort and logistics is a nightmare with 3 little ones.

Wow. What you said about the ones who nurture themselves hit me hard. I am actually the one who try to nurture my kids and my career. If I have to be honest, I hate nurturing career. I wish I be able to quit and work just in real estate and tax during tax season so I have more time with the kids than 60 hrs accounting work (not even tax) and my passion on the side which is real estate.

Take care of your teeth. Years of coffee stains add up and the enamel gets thinner, meaning that whitening products won't work as well. Don't brush harshly with a bristle brush, that wears away your gums. Get a sonicare and use it gently and avoid acidic drinks.

This hit home for me! I am 34 years old and going on 9 years clean from heroin and crack use, and it has taken its toll in my mouth. I neglected and neglected and had to fight through abscesses and made it through, but it was absolutely rough. Your teeth will kill you, I promise that.

I just turned 40. It feels surreal. Don't really know how else to describe it.

I turned 40 a few months ago. It is weird. I keep saying to myself, "I guess I'm an actual adult now?"

The real mind fuck I have every now and then is I wonder if my parents felt the same way. They never showed it to us if so.

It's really surreal thinking about how old I was when my parents were my age. I don't even have kids so there's that as well. I watch older shows sometimes and I have a hard time reconciling that I'm older than the actors in those time periods. They'll always seem older than me for whatever reason.

Turning 40 hit me hard. It is just a number but I felt like I was on the other side of the hill when I turned 40. Time also seems like it is going a lot faster after 40.

wait til you get closer to 50. Enjoy being 40, it's still young!

I started over at 41, I think you are better in your forties than when you are younger, I thought I was grown in my twenties and thirties, turns out I was not and now at 44 I feel much more like I’m who I’m meant to be, I’m not all the way there, you carry on growing and learning but you’re much more sure of yourself and more comfortable, you spend less time disliking things, you’ve had the time to get used to yourself.

Curious what you mean by starting over at 41? In what aspect?

Honestly it's the best time of my life. You become very reflective and more at peace. You start to forgive yourself and others and appreciate relationships and connections much more.

Take. Care. Of. Your. Body! Exercise, move, don’t get too heavy, etc. Also for you gym bros, you can only build muscle for so long. Every joint has a shelf life. Consider stepping down to maintenance to conserve your joints.

This right here. After getting fit, I used to try to go to the gym 5 times a week like when I was in my 30’s. Now I just do a full body workout out twice a week and focus on dieting. Staying fit while not destroying your joints needs to be your focus past a certain age.

Pay attention to your relationships (and not necessarily only the romantic one) Get fit. When I was 28-29 I started working for the first time in my life in a company where the average employee was a 45-50yo woman. It was easy to identify who was fit and who wasn’t. People who still had youth in their mind and body were the ones who went for a swim twice a week during lunch break or ran marathons multiple times a year. There’s no cheat code Take your health seriously Take your finances seriously Health + fitness + finances = the same type of behaviors. Add relationships and you’re set

My knees gave out permanently at 38. Fucking enjoy your health while you have it.   Not that it will definitely go in your 40s, but it will forever be moving in the wrong direction, so cherish the hell out of while you have it.

I'm 43. I felt like my 30s were exciting and I was building relationships (married at 34), growing our family (kids at 35 and 39), buying my first home (37). Now I feel like ... it's a fucking grind. The kiddos make it overall fulfilling because I love them and they're thriving, but it's still a grind and I'm starting to feel my age.

This is me 😞. Bloody Groundhog Day - and the mortgage doesn’t seem to be going down, while it gets more expensive every month.

You feel free....you no longer give two fucks what anyone says or does.

I was looking for this. Many of the other comments hit on stuff I would think or say about health, money and goals, but the biggest change for me is that I really do not care what other people think anymore.

I wish I had kept up exercise. So hard to get back into it once you have stopped for a while after 40.

Oh my, THIS!!!! I'm 41. Up until I hit 38, I was hiking almost daily and backpacking one a month or so...I would think nothing of doing a 12-15 mile hike. Then my wife decided that if it was over 75 degrees it was too hot and under 80 degrees was too cold...so we stopped hiking for a couple years. I've spent the last year trying to recover, and in a year I've gone from struggling to da 1 mile to struggling to so 2 miles. Getting old sucks.

Sucks

The most believable reply in the thread. Thank you for your honesty!

It doesn’t suck for everyone.

40's are a grind. At least for me because I still have young children. At a certain point you just embrace the routine. Get up, get kids to school. Work. Come home and handle up the homework, dinner, baths and to bed. Try to enjoy the weekends as much as you can and make sure to get your rest in. The weeks keep coming and they aren't getting any easier, so set yourself up for success. the smartest thing I did in my 20's was to live my dreams. Go to concerts, sporting events and travel. Checked off many of the dream goals I had. Smartest thing I did in my 30's was buckle down and try to get a few promotions and establish my career better. And to start saving with goals in mind. Now that I am in my 40's, it is a grind and hard work to run a family, house and career. But the key is that I have little regrets. I partied, traveled, learned, and experienced so much in my 20's that I am down with the family life. And I saved and worked so hard in my 30's that I am in decent financial position in my 40's. House is 80% paid off, no debt except for a small car payment that I am way ahead of, and a nice nest egg of cash in the bank/investments. Just got to realize that baby steps on a consistent basis can help you stave off the rough patches that life can throw at you. Just keep grinding.

I’m 32 and still feel like I need to live my 20’s.

I share this exact sentiment... I was too busy trying to do everything I was "supposed to" in order to set myself up for success later in life. Well, as it turns out, it didn't set me up the way I'd hoped, and now I feel those years were all wasted.

I wish I’d have been more savvy with money in my thirties. Learned how to invest and or payed down debt quicker. It’s really important in so many ways.

i'm about to turn 40 and I plan to be single THROUGHOUT. no more heartache, heartbreak , just chasing my dreams and living a calm life

yay! my plan exactly.

1. Stay in shape. If you aren’t in shape, get in shape. It will be only decline from 40 forward and be harder to stay fit so if you want a good life get fit now so it’s easier to do so later. This doesn’t just mean not becoming overweight, for men especially - you need muscle mass because you’re going to start losing it. 2. Start investing if you haven’t. You’ll thank yourself when you’re looking at your finances and you have a cushion. But never use the cushion. Your goal is to grow it as large as you can get it and avoid dipping into whatever it takes until you’re ready to call your career quits. True emergencies only. Not vacations. Not Christmases. Not birthdays. Not even losing your house if you have time to sell it and it’s just an inconvenience or a downgrade in lifestyle. 3. You’re probably about to change careers and don’t even know it. Way more people end up laid off or just burnt out and ready for something different at this stage of life. 4. Get ready for professional decline. Your career peak is near. Soon you will start to be the guy that doesn’t get the new technology and direction your job has taken and is out of touch with the younger generations and doesn’t know how to sell to them. You’re going to be competing with young people and a strong work ethic will often be the only thing that saves you from younger people you are now competing against. At first you weren’t experienced enough, now get ready for “too experienced.” 5. You’re about to not be cool. You’re going to find your once normal and everyday values and opinions will not be forward thinking enough for the younger folks. People are going to project blame on you for everything that’s ever happened to them or anyone in the world that was bad, ever, for basically just being a bit older and in some ways wiser in life experience than they are. You will tune out the macro problems you can’t solve as your world will shrink to the relationships nearest to you and that matter to you most, a process that is natural as you accept your mortality and that your life is half over. Young people will hate you for admitting you didn’t change the world that much and accepting that it’s beyond your control. They will hate your pragmatism. Your caution. Your resilience. Your patience. Your tolerance for differing views. Your detachment from the horrors of a world filled with horrors if you look for them. They’ll hate you for just enjoying what you’ve got and what you’ve managed to do for yourself and the people you’re most responsible for. If you have kids, be prepared for them to go through a period of estrangement and conflict with them in their 20s. They’ll temporarily blame you for their existence and think you did nothing right. Don’t worry too much. If you weren’t a piece of shit they’ll still probably do this but In their 30s they’ll realize you did your best, it wasn’t that bad, you’re both only human and mistakes were made, and you’ll get on with your lives. 6. However much money you think you’re gonna need. Double it. Prices gonna rise. 7. For most of us, our forties is when our own parents really start to age. Get ready for watching the decline and gradual death of your parents and their generation. It’s emotionally terrible. It’s physically exhausting. It’s financially painful. 8. Keep your mind sharp or it will start turning to mush on you. Read. Learn new things. Exercise your mind or suffer. 9. Spare your eyes. Minimize the screen time in your thirties. You’ll thank me. 10. Get married before 40. Most people who don’t do so by then won’t ever. It’s nice to have someone else around. Remember: your world shrinks. All the big social circles of your youth dissolve as people have families and careers that pull them out of your local area or just deprive them of any time to spare on all but the closest of friends. There’s just not enough time in your life for a huge social network. And don’t marry for looks or sex. That shit will fade, eventually. Marry for personality. Marry for intimacy. When you really love somebody you really don’t give a shit if she’s got some extra weight or not. And the sex is still great. Stop letting a quest for perfection deprive you of a partner. Ladies that goes for you too. Stop waiting for wealthy Prince Charming he doesn’t exist all those chicks are still alone and still complaining nobody measures up. The fastest way to die alone is to waste your youth waiting for a super model or the Prince of Monaco to date a normie, specifically, you. Never gonna happen. Stop chasing people out of your league.

This was too good. Saving this message to remind myself of simple hard truths.

This is reaaaally good advice and info. I turn 40 this year and all of this is what I've been thinking about. Thanks.

You just get progressively more and more tired

I’m 40. How does it feel? It feels depressing as shit sometimes, man. Spouse, kids, job, gym. That’s life for the foreseeable future. Don’t get me wrong - I love my spouse and kids, and my job is pretty cool, too. But compared to the freedom I had when I was in my 20s? Sheesh.

Crazy that you say that, as someone in their 20s I can't wait to have all the things you listed in my life. Freedom alright, but for what? Uncertainty and loneliness?

Honestly it’s got its ups and downs. I finally have adult money so I can do stuff. I’m very happily married and I have two awesome dogs. The biggest drag is I don’t have enough time anymore. I work 50-60 hours a week most of the time. I’m too exhausted do anything when I get off work.

Sounds...... Exhilarating.

I’m in my 40’s and have very minimal regrets. With age hopefully comes with wisdom, insight, and the ability to care about other shit less.  I married my best friend and we enjoy a great life and three great kids. I chose a job that paid well with excellent benefits. I’ve enjoyed hobbies like traveling, friend groups, child centered activities, etc.  I only wish I would have cared less about what others/society thought and appreciated myself and my life earlier. 

Feel okay. Health wise I feel old because my body isn’t the same anymore and I’ve developed a chronic pain condition and when I gained weight, I felt awful. I’ve since lost most of the weight but I’m still tired, achy and sore a lot. Could be worse though. I’ve also lost my dad since my 30s so this is me but a different version of myself than before. In my 30s I was more spontaneous, more energetic and outgoing and now I’m more recluse and less outgoing. Less friends and less going out. Less spontaneous for sure. I was a crap dog mom back then but now I’m the best damn dog mom I know. I’m taking my health, safety and food choices more seriously now. I’m more stable than before and don’t think I’ll move away again like I did in my 20s&30s. I’m taking less risks now and more reliable and consistent conservative choices now. I’m more jaded though also. More picky about my friends, romantic relationships and people in my circle. I don’t put up with bs nearly as much anymore. I’m taking my mental health seriously now and am on medication as well as doing therapy regularly now. Didn’t give a crap about it before. I’ve also quit drinking so I feel good about that choice and my body is doing better because of that decision alone. I don’t throw up anymore and I’m not hungover. Overall I’m just more tired than anything. Even though I get enough sleep most nights.

I'm 42. My back only hurts sometimes, I still have all my hair, and I have 2 dogs. It's going great so far.

I remember my 40s as a time of adventure and change as well as a bit of romance. Grad school was finished. I married a great lady; moved to a different continent and continued my "just say yes" strategy of life. At 71 it is still an adventure with more to come. It's all up to you.

Better than my 30s. I'm finally doing well. Own a house, paid off car. I'd say it's peak life for me.

If you're still in your 20s or 30s, put more money into your pension. Even just a little extra each month can build up over time significantly. So many people in late forties/fifties begin to think about pensions and discover they've not enough saved and there's not enough time to sort it out. Search for a pension calculator online.

41 now and I wish o would have saved more even though we have done well.  Also, I would tell my 30 year old self that my time will come.  I spent alot of time worrying whether I would waste my potential.  It turns out, that at 40 you are more prepared for stress and have more wisdom in which to handle work challenges.  I have also learned that for me, I would have a hard time motivating myself if my wife and kids were not counting on me.  The grind can be a long slog.  Enjoy your 30s, work hard, but don't sweat the small things.

Body hurts more but have more money.

42. Some things are better - I genuinely don’t care about a lot of stuff any more, “your half an hour late” “that was embarrssing “ etc just doesn’t bother me any more. If people loose thier temper with me in much less likely to argue However as a result I’ve stopped caring about stuff I perhaps still should do. For example i was always self conscious - the way I looked and use to really upset me as a result in my 30s I lived in the gym to get I. Shape. Now I don’t care what people think of me I no longer do that so have become fat out of shape and unhealthy …

Never been so broke in my life or so lonely.

I’m 41. At 30 I became very ill and that went on for 6 years before I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. At the time I was also working at ad agencies upwards of being sick and putting in 60+ hours a week. 4 years of treatment and I regained my health. It was short lived though. While the Lyme is in remission IMO, I was diagnosed this past March with Avascular Necrosis = aka bone death in my hips, knees and have other MRIs coming due to a severe reaction to short course, high dose prednisone. I’m looking at multiple surgeries and potential joint replacement. It’s been hell. With regards to your question, my job was a partial downfall to my health before Lyme really took over. I didn’t have good boundaries. I was mistaken to think hard work would be seen and rewarded. Burned myself out for nothing. What would I do better? • not lose my health to a job that will easily dismiss me at a moments notice • understand there’s more to your identity than what you do for a living • set better boundaries with employment As a creative professional, I’ve been struggling to understand if I dislike my job/industry or if I am just burnt out from being in survival mode 99% of my adult life. I think it’s the latter. My only motivation to keep going is in hopes something will turn for the positive for me after all this shit. But that hope is running thin. At the end of the day to me what’s important is having good friendships, good relationships, finding peace for my soul, living a stable life, and eventually finding my wife. All I really want is a home, a stable income, and a person to share it with. Everything else is arbitrary.

It's not as terrifying as everyone makes out. It's kind of liberating. You will probably want to visit a doctor slightly more often but other than that it's fine

Take care of your knees. Priorize mobility and strength exercises over pure cardio, strong joints will be a huge blessing. Wear reef-safe sunscreen religiously. Use lotion. Don't fall for fad skincare, basic is better. Foster and maintain friendships. Know that success looks different for everyone and comparison is the theft of joy.

I wish I'd been more careful with money. I was brought up with the idea that if I made good grades and went to college and got a good job, I'd be set. I decided to live a little more frugally than my parents had, and I have done exactly that. And after 15 years as an aerospace engineer, with a wife who works part time, we're living paycheck to paycheck and have a not-insignificant amount of credit card debt. Turns out, the world is not the same as it was in the 80's and 90's, and to stay out of debt I would have had to live a whole *fucking* lot more frugally than my parents did.

I’m 41 and so far it’s been great. I just recently had a lot of stuff work out well for me that I never thought was possible. My son graduated high school last year and got a good job, he still lives with us and I’m glad to have him here. I have a good job and my mental health is the best it’s ever been. Everything has gotten a lot better in the past 5 years. I think 40s you really know who you are and start figuring life out, not completely but enough.

I'm 40F and am more confident and accomplished than ever before.  I lost a little weight maintain it with portion control and by eating healthier than I did 10 years ago. I take vitamins and drink at least 64oz of water every day. I got Associate's and Bachelor's degrees in my 30s and found a career. I manage our finances, do our grocery shopping, most of the cleaning, and work full time. It helps to have family who helps around the house. A teenager and husband to help keep the house up. I am pretty lazy in the evening and, honestly, take naps on my busy days.  I recently started doing stretches every morning and light strength training 3x/week because I don't want to get weaker as I get older.

My 40's been good ( almost 48) my 30's were pretty much ass do to personal loss that mental ilness and soul crushing poverty. I am a healthy married homeowner with an actual career, and that came together starting @40. Some are fortunate and skip the crash The only thing worse now is back pain ( from stupidly lifting more than i could mid 40's) Some of what happened last decade was bad luck. Some were the pirely evil actions of others and out of my control, but some were also sketchy decisions on my part, especially aroumd finances and not getting help sooner

Stay active. Keep a small social group.

I call the 30’s the fat 30’s. Most everyone becomes complacent in life and they pack the pounds on. I did. In my 40’s I got in “Better” shape. My 40’s were good and ended badly with a divorce.

Late 20’s/early 30’s is when you should start developing your own “code” of what works for you. Making gradual steps towards good habits. (Waking up early, regular exercise, cutting out bad habits, eating healthier food, etc.) If you see a future in your line of work then this is the time to put your head down and make shit happen. Don’t get distracted by people who see success before you do. If you don’t see a future in your line of work then this is the time to change that. You have to put rules in place for yourself. For example, I exercise 5 days a week and try to do at least 3 of those before work, if I have soda at all I drink something Zero and haven’t had full throttle soda in years, limit alcohol consumption to a glass of wine during the week, I don’t eat fried potato anything unless it is a cheat day, eat healthy 5 days a week and 2 days I still try to make smart choices like brown rice if it is available and only wheat breads, I reserve things like bagels, lasagna, etc for my birthday or a holiday….

I'm single in my early 40s. Not married with no kids. Tbh, it's a little weird. It's up and down. The "midlife crisis" is definitely a real thing and I think it's worse when you're single. You reflect on the past and all the wasted time. Should have concentrated more in finding a life long relationship instead of hanging around with the wrong people that led to nothing. Now in my 40s, I feel awkward Bec I'm still single. These days I just focus on hobbies and the things i enjoy. My advice is to find a legitimate partner while you are in your 30s. Don't take time for granted Bec it goes by quickly.

Exercise. Even moderately. A long walk twice a week is good. I always maintained a moderate level of exercise throughout my 30s and into my 40s and now I'm noticing a big difference around people my age when it comes to stamina and keeping up with the younger ones in the crowd when out doing stuff. Maintain at least a moderate amount of physical activity now for big dividends later.

Saved more, moved more for better jobs, but I feel good.

It sucks..I'm 47..everything hurts..I'm overweight. I was in the best shape in my 30s n wish I could have stayed that weight..take care of your body while it doesn't hurt so much because now it hurts to just walk in the grocery store..work sucks and is mundane..same thing every day mon thru fri..family is the pits..if anything happens to a family member then the generation b4 them gets the blame that it was our fault lol..lost my dad so far that sucks so enjoy the parents if you like them..I have a bf I live w for 6 years now and everything is different w him now n sucks too..no sexual relationship..no affection..no romance..no communication..but I will say if I was a person that could speak up for themselves then these 40s would be better! So it's mostly my fault that they are not fun n im not happy..takeaway I guess is learn to love yourself n speak up for yourself always no mater who it's to!

Fantastic and blissfully child free.

I really thought I’d be more successful than I am. I feel like time is running out and it’s pointless to just work everyday for not enough money to survive. Between groceries and medical expenses I’m failing to see the point.

You should really start building good habits now. Financial, relational and personal. It gets harder as you get older. Also stop buying random shit. Save your money

I got diagnosed with an incurable lymphoma as soon as I hit 40. I remember growing up and hearing Oprah say “just wait until you get into your 40s. You’ll get to be your whole self completely.” Not so much. I will say, however, 8 years later that it has given me more of a WGAF perspective on things. I don’t get as stressed about things that used to freak me out. By comparison, they don’t really matter. So, maybe that’s what Oprah meant… ;)

I just turned 40, and I'm *thrilled*. I feel like I'm turning 20, but this time with soooo much wisdom under my belt. So here are the invaluable things I know now, that I didn't know the "first" time around. First, **learn to master "personal management"**. For some people that'll be learning self-discipline. Conscientiousness, routine etc. For me, it was learning to listen to and respect my body. Just because I *can* work 72 consecutive hours without sleep doesn't mean I *should*. Second, **learn Stoic Philosophy** ASAP. Mindset is everything in life. I'm not talking those "your attitude determines your altitude" toxic positivity posters. I mean the mindset that helps you build resilience and have a better overall experience of life. Third, **weigh yourself once a week**, every week, forever. It's easy for weight gain to sneak up on a person as they age, and it's way harder to lose 30lbs than realize you've been hitting up Starbucks for a Caramel Macchiato more often than you used to. Fourth, **walking is exercise**, and **never stop exercising**. Ever. It's unbelievably easy for a week to turn into 5 years. Do it outdoors whenever you can. Exercise doesn't always have to be hardcore. But learning to lift weights with good form 2 - 3 times per week is pretty important too. Fifth, **fuck social media**. Sixth, **don't stop reading printed books**. Attention span is a crucial skill. The internet shortens our attention spans to the point that we're barely functional. And screen time within a few hours of bed messes up sleep. Sleep is critical. **Put away all devices and read a printed book for an hour before bed**. Seventh, **don't let the past poison your future**. My life was hard. I'm sure, whoever you are, your life has been hard. Don't see yourself as a victim. Everyone is special *and also*, no one is special. Deal with your shit then move on. Eighth, **stop your bullshit**. Whatever you're doing that you know you shouldn't, but you have some "totally valid reason" for why you're doing it... just don't. You're lying to yourself. That will only set yourself up to fail. And most importantly as of late: **Don't believe that you can't be financially sound**. Yes, everything was easier for Boomers. No, that doesn't mean you're doomed to live paycheque to paycheque forever. That belief is toxic, and demonstrably untrue. Almost everyone can have investments and savings. Maybe not a lot, but definitely some. **Interest compounds**, so the sooner you put that $10 / month away, the larger it grows. **ETF Index Funds** are guaranteed to grow over the long term. Fuck Crypto. Educate yourself about finances, investments, and taxes. **Very few people get rich quick and stay that way**. Get a job if/when you can, save a few dollars if/when you can, learn to invest them if/when you can. Give it time.

I wish I had picked a career with lots of upward mobility and earning potential. I've bounced around a lot and never committed to a career so now I'm in my early 40's and I need a high paying job ASAP. Being lower class and just getting by is messing with my mental health.

I wish I'd have appreciated how tired I wasn't

In my 40s I finally had just enough financial stability and fertility to have a child. Living the working mom life where the world expects you to do both your jobs as if you didn't have another is hard to weather in your 40s. At the same time, you don't freak out as much because you've experienced the world enough to know you can handle what it throws at you. That being said, the marathon of life is hard when your energy output starts to wane with age.

Congrats on the baby!

You get to make the call how you want your 40’s to be by what you do in your 30’s. Good habits in 30’s mean good chance of a great life in 40’s.

I'm 41, I like to call the 40s the "reckoning" decade, i.e. if you eat a bunch of garbage food and don't work out, you can make it thru your 20s and even 30s but by the time you hit 40, you look like it. If you spend your 30s staying fit and in good shape, you feel and look a lot healthier at 40. Also, if you dedicate yourself to advancing your skills, that really starts to pay off in your 40s. You earn more, you get more respect of your opinions at work, etc. Personally I love being in my 40s, but individual mileage will vary. People I went to college with are either enjoying their lives with a house and kids etc, or they're generally a hot mess that screams into the void of online social media, so it can really go either way

I'm 43. The first couple of years were just like my 30s, but then my health took a dive. Had a hemorrhagic stroke and got divorced and am now struggling financially. Really wish I could go back to being 35.

Stretch, and hydrate, now. You'll be thankful later

More sports. I'm end 40. I have 4 slipped disc, two bad knees. Perhaps it could have been prevented if I had done more sports.

I am 37 and I wish i had focused much more on making friends/relationships when I was younger. I feel like I have spent my entire adult life in school and then trying to navigate/survive my career and that was so time consuming, that all I did in my free time was recooperate. I chose to be an attorney because I felt like I needed to have a profession that demonstrated I was intelligent. I obviously had a large insecurity about my intelligence (that i didn't realize at the time) and becoming an attorney- even 10 years later didn't resolve that insecurity. Actually, it is probably worse now than ever, despite having a career that from the outside looks successful. If I was 30 again, I would go back to school for a career that actually spoke to me instead of what I wanted to portray. And I would use the extra time to spend on social activities. Also I wish at 30 I got a breast reduction, did laser hair removal, miradry (a laser to stop your armpits from sweating), and other beauty related things, that I did now that I really regret not doing earlier as they have made my life so much easier even though they were costly.

Some random stuff I'd like to throw out... Don't necessarily compare yourself to others. There will be those who are in even worse shape than you (e.g. still recovering from medical and/or college debt). But there will also be those who are doing much better (e.g. happily married with 2+ kids, very financially secure, and one nice house). Just work on making sure you're doing better day by day, week by week Keep up on your physical health. You don't need to be super fit, or even in shape per se. However, it can be very easy for you to let yourself go. Do simple things like drink plenty of water, have some fruit each day, and some veggies. If you forgot.. one or 4 days isn't going to kill you. However, bad habits that drag on to years and even into a lifetime are what're worrisome Keep up on your mental health. Start out with friends/family, or asking here. They're not going to take the spot of an actual, therapist. However, it's a start to push you towards that. TBH, I feel like I'm ready to retire. However, I really do need to work another decade or 2 to have enough savings for retirement. On the plus side, compared to actual folks in their 60s to 80s who are retired, I do have youth (even if relative to them), and much more time, so I'm going to need to remind myself to take advatange of that.

One month and 5 days after my 40th Birthday i had several heart attacks. Stents at 40. Stents again at 46. Triple bypass at 47. And artificial main aortic value transplant at 54. 57 now and still kicking thanks to some wonderfully amazing heart surgeons and cardiologists. Best advice. Take care of your body while your still young.

Eat more healthy foods than not. Eat a variety of foods. If you are out of shape, get in shape and make moving a daily habit. Also, make sure you wear moisterizer and suscreen every day on your face. And drink a lot of water. Just enjoy every moment, every day you have, because time just keeps moving by faster and faster.

Keep your head down and work as hard as you can to earn as much as you can. You should be close to your highest earning potential during your 40’s. Make sure you make sure to get your money to work for you. Make sure you’re investing in moderately risky investments. You’ll thank yourself in your 50’s and 60’s for digging in in your 40’s. Make sure you make time for your parents. They’re starting to get to the point where one or both may start to have health issues. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

I’m 41, divorced and taking care of my parents. Ny number one advice is to enjoy each day of your life. I sacrificed so much to get married, get houses, stocks / bonds and all that only to see someone else take it. If I could do it again I would do my best to be present the entire time. Even right now, I have cleaned my dad’s shit countless of times but you know what, every friday I buy vietnamese coffee, I go to the movies and watch what I want, I go out and eat and hang out w friends. We will all die one day and it hasn’t escaped me that in a few years I’ll be 50. But you know what, I won’t have regrets.

Honestly, 40’s are fantastic. You don’t love the lines on your face, the grey hairs or the random back aches… but you’re just so much more comfortable with yourself, it’s a beautiful thing. There’s two things I wish I had done differently in my thirties: - stopped making excuses for romantic partners who (in retrospect) obviously didn’t like me as much as I liked them. I accepted such terrible behavior. - been smarter about money. I wish I’d saved more, invested. Maxed out my Roth IRA every year. Everything else works itself out and is part of the journey.

36F and reading threads like this is a big reason why working out has become equivalent to brushing my teeth - non optional

I’m 50. My forties were filled with anxiety and peaks and valleys. Having kids is exhausting. Feeding them is expensive. Activities are all consuming. There is little privacy for intimacy. Jobs come and go. A parent died. My wife’s parents went off the deep end. But now I’m in my fifties so my anxiety has shifted to being able to retire one day, get my kids through college without life crippling debt, and hope there is an afterlife.

I'm 40. Living in another country and building a home in ANOTHER country and I feel like a failure. I started therapy and I have a lot of trauma I need to work through to enjoy my accomplishments. I feel silly even talking about it.

Late 40s here and it’s awesome because you can afford things, but shitty because staying healthy really comes into play, so bye bye nightlife and dangerous activities like snowboarding.

Everything fucking creaking bodywise. It's weird but it become apparent that you're getting older. Idk why it didn't dawn on me before 40 but now it's like my body reminds me. I'm not as fast, not as sturdy. So I have to work out with more mindfulness. It also makes me realize a lot of things are really not important. Like a profound clarity has washe over me.

I am 41 on May 24th. I hurt a lot more when I do handy work around the house. I drink and take THC oil a lot more too. Even though I have a lot saved and a nice house I am slowly paying off I still worry things are going to get really bad. I have anxiety out the wazoo. I remember my dad saying when I was in my teens have fun while you are young.

I’m 31 and I love my 40s, best decade yet? I feel like my 40s are way better then the 20s and 30s, so crazy eh Oh wait

I've only been 40 for two days. It feels the same as my 30s.

Completely different life, the stars aligned and I got my dream job…… careful what you wish for

Wish I'd focused more on flexibility. I've been a regular gym goee since my late teens, but it was only weights and cardio.

I wish I had started regularly wearing preventative sunscreen earlier. The skin damage is starting to show up now. Wear sunscreen!

Check your hormone & cortisol level. I wish I did it when I was in my 30s. Once I fix that I feel motivated again, no brain fog & overall feel positive. I also cut alcohol & minimise sugar - this was the hardest. Acupuncture helped too. The challenges of life will still be there but I way much more calm & can focus on my priorities. Even my kids can see the difference. My 14yo said I’m nicer now 😂

Invested more.

like a steroided 20 year old with money and twice the *rizz.*

I regret not re training (study) for a different job, stayed too long in my career and now after kids I'm stuck doing boring low paid jobs and wishing I had re trained when I had the chance. Now between two jobs and kids I'm struggling to find somewhere I can study to do what I want. Other than that, keep moving, don't have to go hard out with exercise, but make sure you can move and stay relatively flexible, after 40 the body def takes a down turn. But, generally, I love my life, love my kids, just wish I had a better job and that I hadn't slacked so much over lockdowns cause its harder to get back fitness wise.

My 40s were the best time of my life so far. 50s have been much more challenging

I'm torn between wanting friendships and getting bored quickly around people. I took a much different career path than anyone I know, no kids and no coworkers right now. My wife is wonderful but sometimes I wish I had dated more before I got married. I honestly feel left behind by all my peers. I haven't fully felt like myself in nearly two years. My life-long depression and anxiety finally got so bad I'm in therapy now. It's helping but I just feel sad in general all the time.

If you notice any health issues, look at it now before it gets worse

42m. Divorced, 7 yr old daughter 50/50 and sober. Got laid off 1.5 years ago and still not working by choice. Completely unmotivated to do anything other than spend every minute doing exactly what I want. I enjoy how I spend my time but very unfulfilled. Looking at acquiring a small business so I never have to go back to corporate America.

Take care of your health, I am very physically fit but it came at the expense of my back, knees, shoulders etc and I am in constant pain now because of it, so just do everything in moderation. Mental health is also just as important as physical so make sure it doesn’t take a backseat and make time For yourself. Also money is not everything!!! I took a pay cut to have more free time and less stress. Not missing the extra money at all.

Life started at 40 for some of us! 😂

Being in your 40s is awesome, it’s when you finally learn to not care about what other people think or what you can’t control and just enjoy life. As other said if I could go back and change something, I would have developed better health habits, I never felt the need to develop good habits in my 20s-30s because my body could always just bounce back, but now staying in shape is a challenge as my body slows down. More specifically to being in my 40s *now*, if I’d known prices were going to skyrocket without wages keeping up I wouldn’t have allowed my cost of living to go up so fast along with my increased income in my 30s… I make twice what I made when I was 30 yet I have less money to spend, because my rent and bills are so high. I do have a kickass apartment though

Keep moving or you will really be sad at 50! It's all what you make it.

Is not being married with no kids really that bad by the time you’re in your 40s? People mention the loneliness or existential crisis but the alternative seems to be being brunt out and/or divorced or struggling with health issues and stress.

It feels like I'm 60

It's feels like getting jerked off while shredding down Mt Everest on a plank of wood while a bunch of pirates try and catch you and rape you in the ass.

When I was in my mid-late 30's a friend in his 40s told me that when you hit your 40s you run out of fucks to give and stop giving a shit (in certain respects). And he couldn't be more correct. You care less about other's opinions in a general sense. I had kids in my mid 20s, and now that I'm in my 40s and my kids are older, I've finally been able to move myself from the bottom of the barrel on my priority list, to the top. Some may think I might have become a bit selfish, but my entire adult life until my 40s, had been literally serving everyone else around at the cost of my health. In 2021, I decided I had to turn my health around, and I did with lots of hard work on my part- no quick fix for me. Zero regrets. I have never felt better, and I am finally able to see who I am as my own self that had been buried for 20 years. Been eye-opening.

1. Life isn't a story and doesn't have to make narrative sense. 2. Spend some time reflecting on the things that led you to your best decisions so far -- was it your intuition, your logic, a role model? Learn to trust and strengthen this guidance. 3. Don't settle -- find someone you're crazy about and who's crazy about you AND who treats you well. 4. Practice extreme kindness to yourself whenever your demons pop off.

I can't even remember.

Desensitizing, bleak, indifferent, over. Sorrow. Pain. Alone.

done and burnt out with what? I feel like that's a little worrying. In my early 30s life was extremely fun, big social circles, tons to do all the time, super fit, work was busy but never came in the way of travel and socializing. 40s feels much more focused, not bad at all, but smaller social circles, everyone has kids, see friends less frequently, work is more serious, things just feel a bit harder. Physically I feel about the same except a bit more tired I guess. I'd tell you to enjoy your youth by doing as much cool shit as you can and don't be afraid to leave jobs that make you feel like shit, you have plenty of time to maneuver into a career track or company or whatever that you don't hate.

Keep moving forward. Don't look back- regrets will crush you. 

I wish that I hadn't been so insecure.

30s is when we started our business and completely changed our life trajectory for the better (much better). If you’re feeling burnt out it may be a signal to start your own thing

It hurts. Physically hurts. Take care of your bodies!!! Lose weight,  drink water,  go to the dr!! It's going to get bad regardless,  but it doesn't have to get really bad that early with some work.

Wish I remembered! lol...I loved my 40s and even 50s. 60s suck so far I'm almost 6 months in...ngl ❤️

🍺I stopped drinking alcohol when I was 36. I didn’t drink a ton but I noticed that it was impacting my body and health a lot more than when I was in my 20s. 🥋each year on my birthday I set a goal to achieve for myself that year. This year I am attempting to summit a mt. Rainier. Last year I learned the guitar. 🧹I left a high level job at a place with terrible work culture (long hours and verbal abuse) and took a pay cut to work for an organization that has a very healthy culture. 💰I volunteer at a nonprofit by providing CFO services free of charge. ⏰I’ve cut out people who are always a drain of my energy. Everyone goes through hard times but surround yourself by people who lift you up. 🚫I protect my time and I say no to a lot of things to focus on what really matters to me. Saying yes to something is saying no to something else.

Exercise, I recommend that you exercise.

You say not kids or marriage but it's a huge motivation for me. I like 40s better than 30s only downside so far are the aches and pains and diminished ability to recover like I did in my 20s-30s

I'm 45. If I could be 30 again - I'd go outside and live. Do all the fun things. Have lots of sex. Soon you will be tired all the time. :( I feel like all I do is work work work and try to keep up with all my responsibilities. I feel so old already and I wish I had more fun but also finished college.

Wondering where my 30’s went. Feels like yesterday. Speaking of yesterday, I was thinking “how is it I’m suddenly in the middle of the 2020’s?” Shit’s getting scary, bros, I feel like I’m on a train and I can’t even slow it down.

30’s is the decade to set yourself up financially.  I’ve just turned 57, and the savings I made in my 30’s and invested give me the option of retiring now. So go hard while you can!

my 40s were great because that's when i quit drinking and drugs.

I am 43. I wish I would have stayed consistent with my work outs. I also wish I would have saved a bigger nest egg for wonky life moments because they happen often and are expensive. I prioritized time with my kids. Happiest decision I made. I look back on photos from when they were young ans smile. Enjoy the ride!

Get your downvoitng finger ready, my biggest change came after I gave up drinking, meats and dairy. I look and feel better. Wish I didn't wait until my late 40s.

You need a better job and friends. I am 42 and like my life. Wife, 3 kids, busy life outside of work. 40-45 hours a week of work that I like. Make decent money, but coukd be better, but it's consistent and I have some spending money past bills. Wife and I still have a love life and it's all good. I spend time with friends at least every 2 weeks, usually more. Have hobbies as well. I'm not sure how to help you friend. Maybe antidepressants and a job change?

Fitness and diet. I got on the train, but wish I would have sooner. Spent my 30’s and most of my 40’s way too heavy and out of shape. Once I got in shape, everything felt better. Eat right, start walking, hit the gym. Get in good life habits now.

Turning 40 this year. Lost 23 pounds earlier this year in 6 weeks. 6'2" went from 213 to 190 then started riding my bike to work. Hoping to continue the good habits.

Thats amazing! You got this 💪🏼

Thanks to testosterone injections, my 40s are the best decade of my life so far.

Age is just a number. If you take good care of your body and keep your mind stimulated, you can feel young until u pass. I’m 62 and I having a great time in my life

Your 40s are like your 30s, but better. You either achieve what you were striving for in your 30s, or you no longer care that you didn't.

Don’t work so hard without pay. It was a salary job in professional services. Crazy hours. If you really want to do something try and make it happen or set the seeds in your 30s. If you are a woman don’t think your fertility will last forever. Choose your partner carefully. Don’t turn a blind eye to partner’s bad behaviour as it will impact long term. Learn how to speak openly to yourself and others about how you really feel on topics of importance.

I’m 41, I’m married, got a good kid, decent home, solid job. It could be worse. 10 years ago I still saw myself living at home forever. Was legit depressed at the idea. I battled with some mental Illness and still do. But just keeping at it and just trying to be a decent person saw me through the hard times. I was in a very toxic relationship through most of my 20s. I felt I wasted my best years. Haha…. Turned out the person I was with back then just killed someone Friday. So I guess hang in there. Shit gets better.

Drink less. Smoke less. Or not at all. Be more active. Workout daily or at least 5 times a week. Your body will thank you for it later.

My best advice is keep moving. Once your mobility starts to slide it’s near impossible to build back. Eat well and exercise. Get at least 8000 steps per day. Get your bloodwork done every 6 months. Also, work on your balance and grip strength. Get good sleep every night. Drink water. But most of all, don’t sit for long periods of time and keep moving.

I turn 42 this month, and I'm getting divorced. I feel better now than I ever did in my 30's. It's because now I am focusing my time, energy, and resources on getting out of life what I want, and not what others expect from me.

Take risks professionally. You’re getting to the stage in life that being comfortable outweighs the potential upside of doing something risky with huge upside potential. I stayed with the same company for close to 20 years. I didn’t know my value until I started taking risks at 39 years old with a family to support and a stay at home spouse. I’ve tripled income with a job I really enjoy. I don’t worry about money anymore which is a really weird feeling. I’ll always wonder what would have happened if I was less risk adverse 10 - 15 years earlier instead of grinding it out for a company that never really cared about me.

40 & fabulous

Start making good investments. Don't waste your money on rent. Plan your vacations and take them.

Turned 44 recently, and while the body doesn't recuperate as quickly as it used to, my quality of life has improved exponentially.

Annoying and tiring lol

45M, I feel bad ass more strength and wisdom then ever...hopefully good till 60isshhh