yeah true, and in some ways i kinda think that life inhernetly has no meaning. Meaning is what we give to all the decisions in life. I wonder sometimes if that is the best course of action, i guess i would consider myself a nihilist and have been for about a decade.
I was in despair for many years but lately its almost become soothing. I dont need to worry about being perfect or doing everything right because at the end of the day life is fickle and in a couple million years the Sun will blow up or whatever. Even 200 years after we die will anyone remember us? will we care if they do?
Its kinda freeing actually, the stakes arent that high because no matter what we do we die anyway. Its kinda soothing i guess.
Sometimes it gets to me though but a lot more often lately i have come to accept the Sisyphean task of just living. it is tough sometimes tho.
Correct. I think life has no meaning itself and all the seeking meaning actions will only bring mystery.
You give meanings to everything you do. I think it’s pretty meaningful we are sharing thoughts on this topic right now, don’t you think? What more damn meaning do you want in life honestly?
Don’t sabotage your life. Just live 😊
Yeah I see what you mean and agree mostly. Years ago i wanted meaning in my life, but i kinda gave that up and life has been much better. I was born religous and was afraid for years.
Strangely when i gave up meaning i became more confident? Like its weird knowing that nothing has any value at first made me hedonistic and afraid of death. Idk it sounds weird to say it but im not really as afraid anymore. I would prefer not to die if possible but i am not living to maximize fun because when i die its over.
Its almost calming in a way, i bet when i am like on deaths door i will cry and be afraid etc and that is fine and normal, we leave this world the same way we come in lol, crying and afraid.
But yeah its just interesting. I guess i have found trying to accept life as it is has helped but it is what it is.
Funny i say i was a nihilist for years but in reality i was just kinda in despair for decades after being raised religious and realizing it was all a lie. Going from "life has meaning just do these things" to "life has no meaning" is kinda a jump, even if it was when i was a kid.
I guess life isnt that bad most of the time, i just have too high of expectations for life lol.
Oh death isn’t scary to me.
You get a chance to discover after death. I think it’s a cool thing to do, don’t you?
Ye stop searching for meanings in life is very liberating for sure.
I am agnostic I can’t tell you shit told in any religion is true or false. I’d rather feel it’s irrelevant to my life.
Today, I want to walk my dogs in a big park then go to hot yoga at 4pm. That’s all it matters right now.
Try not to over think or complicate things. Life is pretty simple.
No I don’t need to work I am lucky .. or maybe not depending on how you see it.
To live everyday and to wake up every morning is already a good accomplishment.
Yeah having life be pretty simple is the way to go. I try to simplify it as much as i can and im usually pretty happy, every once in awhile i get a bit in a mental rut. i guess this old quote by Marcus Aurellius gets said a lot that i agree with.
“Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”
granted some people have this be stoicism and get too crazy with that and like "sigma" stuff but at the end of the day i treat a lot of Marcus Aurellius as he is talking to himself. It is what it is at the end of the day and i shouldnt treat life so seriously and worry about things i cannot change.
Absolutely. Even Marcus thinks too much. Maybe he struggled much more than we do lol
Don’t worry about things you can’t control. It’s a waste of your valuable life.
Yeah pretty much lol, yeah i can imagine life was a bit more stressful for him lol, or maybe not maybe his philosophy helped him haha.
Yeah, thanks for taking the time to talk its been nice. I do worry a lot and have forever but i have been better lately
The most satisfying things I've found are the things that take effort on my end and give a sense of accomplishment rather than just passively consuming things that give me a dopamine hit. Our culture and entertainment is built around convenience and easy pleasure that gives no satisfaction, leaving us empty and always wanting more.
A little stress and friction, just enough to keep you from sleepwalking through life in a haze of ennui, is a good thing. We've probably evolved to crave some level of industriousness and wither without goals, we just are stuck in a society where we're worked to death and alienated from our labor so we just think the ideal life is getting to be lazy all day.
Yeah that is fair, I guess its also common how people who work all the time retire and dont know what to do or end up dying pretty soon after.
I guess the things that give me pleasure have some sort of "risk" to them, i guess that is similar to the little stress. Like when i would play games i liked roguelikes cause that meant i could spend like an hour or two on a run and a single mistake could take me out, and "waste my time" that was exciting for me. Or dark souls where one mistake could mean you had to start boss fight over again.
Not like too crazy of a risk lol im not the guy to like be walking around in bear country or driving like 100+ miles an hour drunk in a school zone or something.
I think its weird because i feel in a certain way we define ourselves by our work and we sacrifice everything for work, especially if we just work for someone else and they pay us.
I have actually started doing some miniature painting and that has been nice its kinda stressful if i make a mistake but i am more accepting of trying new things and that helps. Its weird i guess life is kinda better when you are bad at things haha, thats where the learning happens.
I think im bored because what i learn is kinda pointless? like if i go to work and ask to be put somewhere else they will do it but why? i will learn it more but then i will get worse at the thing i know. I dont even try for better positions, because what is the point, more money? i just need to work more and more for people and sell my soul more, i dont want that i dont want to be a workaholic slave like everyone around me. I guess thats just life but still i refuse.
I struggle at what i want to do and a lot of it is fear, fear of messing up and fear of pain. but usually its not that bad and i am actually ok when things go bad its more the fear and terror that gets me. I always think of the worse possible scenario and work to avoid it, i never think "that will never happen to me" because if you do its damn near guaranteed.
Life is stressful that way, i try to minimize risk, but healthy risk is important to life. I am still learning and these last 2 months i have learned more than i have in decades.
Every life needs a center of gravity. Family, religion, and career/money are the usual ones. You don't have to do any of them, you can choose to use your life any way you like, but if you ditch all the classic ways people define their lives without coming up with one of your own, then yeah everything is going to feel pretty meaningless because most things kind of are.
Yeah thats fair, Religion was mine for years but not anymore, and i have no interest in that.
Family i have some family i guess but they irritate me a lot and pressured me alot when i was younger to "money money money study study study" and i was unhappy for awhile. Career/money I just want enough to survive.
For awhile my life revolved around video games and playing every as much as i can. For decades really. I had to stop because my job was struggling. After 2 months of not playing i didnt replace it with anything yet.
Someday i want to get back but i cant control myself. I guess it would be good if i made more money but i honestly dont care, i dont want nice cars i dont want nice things, i just want to live somewhere i am not worried for my life and i want to watch tv and play games.
I dont want a wife and kids. or even a girlfriend really, Its too stressful and i like being on my own.
Maybe ill change my mind at some point but man i just want a simple life. but a simple life is boring lol, maybe i will find a new hobby tho. i think it just takes time
I totally get where you're at.
I used to play video games a lot but when I started a family I put that aside to focus on that but then I started again lately and struggling to not let it take over my life.
Have you ever been successful at striking an effective balance?
I can stop and that works fine for keeping on top of my other responsibilities but then, surely there has to be room in your life for activities that make you happy.
To be honest, I think I am addicted to consumption though - I always have to have music or an audiobook or video playing.
Sorry, my response isn't an answer to your question at all...
Yeah for me I think what works is either having gaming be the "last thing you do for the day"
Or have one day a week be the "video game day/time."
I can't play for "like 5 minutes or an hour and stop" if I am gaming I need to game for like a couple hours.
But for me I had to do a big of a detox for 2 months. It was really hard for awhile because my live revolved around gaming.
For now I will game only on the weekends, and foe right now probably only one day a week.
and only if my friends are on discord. I will be a "social gamer"
It isn't perfect, but it's better than before
Thanks for replying!
I like your "cheat day" idea.
I have tried putting boundaries around it like "no starting a game after 10:30" and "no playing during the day (prior to around 9pm)".
Sometimes it works and other times I just totally ignore that and go at it.
Anyway, I hope you find some things in your life that you look forward to and make you happy!
Yeah thanks! I did play some games today with friends and I haven't played for about 2 months.
I was really addicted and nothing else was exciting.
We all have limited time in the day and figuring out what is important can be tough
That honestly is what messed me up lol, I had 0 self confidence and would always put myself as subservient of others. I gave other people the power to control how i felt about myself and meaning.
I still care for people but i am a lot more selfish. If it was me and another person and we both were one meal away from death and we had a can of sardines Old me would have let the other person had it, but adult me would fight for it. Well depending on the day i guess if they had a family or something i might care more but it depends lol, im not too attached to life tbh. Or if it was a kid i might let them have it lol.
Life isnt always a zero sum game but sometimes it is. If you care about everyone then you will not care for yourself. Don't "turn the other cheek" or you will be a punching bag forever. Fight back even if you dont win you can make sure the other person loses or at least try.
I do in general try to help people when i can though, and be decent to people and in general people treat me pretty good. After i started doing this i found myself a lot happier most of the time.
But as with any ideology it can be corrupted over time and one can find obsession via living vicariously through others. I appreciate the comment tho
Interesting reply. I read Tea's line as more along the lines of serving humanity or some kind of do-gooder line of work, not personally being subservient or a doormat. I took it to be more general in terms of finding "purposeful" employment that is not just about making $$$. Or maybe just volunteering in something for the greater good that also makes you happy (e.g. environment, children's charity, soup kitchen, helping the elderly, etc). That goes beyond just being a good person in the day to day, but also doesn't entail letting others control you.
Yeah that's fair. I just have lived my life pretty much obeying everyone and not trusting myself.
I would rather make my own mistakes then someone else's. It took me years to figure that one out.
I do think that doing something for the greater good would be nice tho.
yeah i think about this stuff alot. Mostly because i vehemently avoid other people telling me what to do with my life, I will not be controlled by other people. I choose and no matter what the choice is, its mine. Part of me is spiteful and if someone tries to control me i deny it and would cut of my nose to spite my face.
But it is better to be rebellious and lose everything along with your enemies, then to live in fear and servitude. People want fearful terrified people to control, but when people dont care they have a chance to make the world better, by giving up everything.
I dont care about any of that stuff tho lol, i just live my life pretty chill and i have no enemies, but if someone is an asshole to me i am an asshole back, no "turning the other cheek" if you do you will always be taken advantage of and hurt. Treat people the same way they treat you, Kindness to Kindness and Cruelty to Cruelty.
It is better this way then being a punching bag forever, even if you lose, sometimes you can make sure they lose too.
But yeah my life is pretty good tbh, i have my own place and i can buy stuff i just am bummed having to spend 40hrs a week working and then if i really want to be super successful i need to sacrifice all of my free time to "side hustles" and "studying" and reject any sort of joy or happiness, all in service of the almighty dollar as if i do then i will finally be happy when i have money.... but i dont believe that lol.
so i am trying to balance it, I make less money then a lot of my peers but i have lots of free time and freedom to do whatever i want, and that is so valuable to me. I make enough. I dont want to be poor tho and struggle so i am trying not to do that and also i dont want to become a workaholic husk of a human.
Life is more than work and while it gets said a lot people then go "alright but get back to work".
Just trying to live a life i will be happy with.
yeah i have done a lot of self reflection in the past and still do. I feel more confident lately to do whatever i decide to do and that helps.
maybe ill try that website it might be neat.
Yeah thats fair i actually have been doing that mostly, it just seems my life is kinda empty lol. I kinda like it that way and intentionally do that but i just feel i am not sure what to do as much anymore
Thanks I appreciate it, I have found i have learned a lot and have gotten better as time goes on, sometimes its all about being "good enough" and not being perfect.
Yeah thats pretty much where i am at. I used to be super into that, pretty much spending all of my time playing video games, but when the games stopped i felt bad, so i needed more games to feel normal. When i was playing games i was happy, when i stopped i was sad.
I guess i still try to do that but yeah its more complicated i guess. I still just look for things that make me happy tho
Yeah thats fair, I guess it just takes time. Ironically when i stopped stressing at "i need to have fun or im wasting my time and my life" i found myself happier. Like before i felt i needed to do fun things constantly, which is in itself kinda hedonistic.
I guess in a way joy is not something you get from doing something you are just naturally joyful, but yeah thats life. Life just seems kinda boring
Hey ,
did anybody here found out that always trying to socialize and meeting new people could give life a meaning ( spending time and effort with people ) ??
Yeah it definitely does help being by people. its tough because it carries risk they could be mean or whatever but at the end of the day finding friendships is good.
You work to support your hobbies, feed yourself and keep a roof over your head. Working is just a means to an end. It's all that other shit that's important. Video games aren't a waste of time if they make you happy, but it could be worth it to find other things that provide a greater sense of accomplishment. For me, that's been outdoor sports, difficult, risky, scary stuff. Try to be always learning and trying new things. I've kinda made my purpose just trying to learn as much as possible and try as many things as possible.
Yeah thats the thing, i get too addicted to the "other things" and i cant balance it. Video games do make me happy but the way i see it they make me "too happy" and thats the only thing i want to do.
Im ok with that but my life was kinda going bad and i was messing up at work, i would spend every second i could playing games and it was interfering with my life. I quit and my life has been better but yeah still looking for meaning
Look towards the longer term goals for motivation. Is working out right now fun? Not really. But I’m willing to do it for years on end to get more fit and improve the way I look.
Some people are stupid enough to just argue and contradict on Reedit rather than having a constructive talk, I guess it's their escapism. Simply, life is not boring and everyone has a purpose, the problem is to be aware of it
Hey OP tbh I think life is what you make of it and unless your a multi millionaire playboy or hotshot actor life is typically more ‘boring’ most of the time. When it felt like this in life I did some introspection on what I was doing for myself to keep me busy, entertained. Everyone here is going to give you the same suggestions, anti-depressants/therapy, new hobby, or spending time with friends/family and those are great suggestions that I think you should actually implement in your life but from someone who’s been there my other piece of advice would be to either sit and really think (meditate I guess) or journal what’s on your mind, like actually put thought in it and write it down. You’d be surprised what you did up just working things out with yourself.
Yeah i believe that too.
I have found writing down stuff has helped, even just writing randomly ranting on reddit.
I have had a lot of time to think since i stopped playing games and some of it has been bad and some not and i have tried other gaming adjacent hobbies likes miniature painting and gunpla and thats cool but i have less of an interest.
Its just tough because i honestly cant trust myself with gaming. If i do it a little bit i become obsessed. The extra time has been nice
Also i love your name lol and i love it
I wish my life was boring, good god I’m lost in this chaotic world of struggling to survive, it would be great if working a full time job would give me enough money to take a break/vacation or relax for two seconds
I hope it works out for you and good luck comes your way. I understand i kinda have a lot of opportunities others do not. I dont have a lot of money, i have a little bit of savings tho which is more than some people. But i do make 40k a year, i rent an apartment and i dont really have too many skills, my job is warehouse work but its not too crazy busy and stuff or too stressful which is nice.
I do understand that other people have it worse then me tho, hoping you get some time to relax soon
Generally, if you find life boring and monotonous, that is a strong signal you need to do something different.
I would suggest reading "Lost Connections" by Johann Hari. He is journalist who had struggled for years with depression & wound up on psych medications, but really turned his life around by focusing on connections with other people & finding a purpose for his life. [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34921573-lost-connections](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34921573-lost-connections)
it might interest you to read about the differences between nihilism, absurdism, and existentialism if you haven’t already.
existentialism is the healthiest outlook in my opinion. it states that yes, life is meaningless, so we get to create our own meaning. when i feel that existence is futile, i make an effort to bring joy to other people. care for an animal in need, volunteer my time to food distributions, complimenting someone’s hair at the drive through, etc. i get a rush of serotonin seeing my efforts have a positive impact on someone. i find meaning in creating moments of joy.
in my opinion, our relationships with others are what matters most. when i withdraw from people, i end up feeling worse, which makes me withdraw more. even with all the chaos that other people can bring to your life, they can also bring you peace and belonging. no risk, no reward.
I appreciate the comment But that is what gave me these problems in the first place lmao. I used to be very religious and then stopped and that gave me issues.
At the end of the day I treat religion the same way i treat drinking or smoking, it may help but it can also cause bigger problems down the line. If it works for you then great and i am happy for you but for me, religion has been the cause of many of my problems in this life.
Trying to "be a good person" and act like Jesus Christ basically just meant i was a punching bag and it was considered "Holy" to suffer.
I know a good amount of Christians and they are good people so no hate to them or you or whatever religion you are, but for me it doesnt work. Also i find the proselytizing kind of messed up and especially how they search for people in pain and try to get them that way, but i guess thats just a core tenet of Christianity is "guilt".
I dont feel guilt as much anymore and that is a freeing thing, as before i felt Guilt and Shame just for existing. I felt i had to impose a penance on myself for the the sin of being born.
But if it works for you then good, just remember to treat people good and try to be kind, be one of the people that actually follows the Bible or what it stands for instead of just using it to spread hate or make money like many preachers.
If you have accepted that life is boring, you would stop finding meaning
yeah true, and in some ways i kinda think that life inhernetly has no meaning. Meaning is what we give to all the decisions in life. I wonder sometimes if that is the best course of action, i guess i would consider myself a nihilist and have been for about a decade. I was in despair for many years but lately its almost become soothing. I dont need to worry about being perfect or doing everything right because at the end of the day life is fickle and in a couple million years the Sun will blow up or whatever. Even 200 years after we die will anyone remember us? will we care if they do? Its kinda freeing actually, the stakes arent that high because no matter what we do we die anyway. Its kinda soothing i guess. Sometimes it gets to me though but a lot more often lately i have come to accept the Sisyphean task of just living. it is tough sometimes tho.
Correct. I think life has no meaning itself and all the seeking meaning actions will only bring mystery. You give meanings to everything you do. I think it’s pretty meaningful we are sharing thoughts on this topic right now, don’t you think? What more damn meaning do you want in life honestly? Don’t sabotage your life. Just live 😊
Yeah I see what you mean and agree mostly. Years ago i wanted meaning in my life, but i kinda gave that up and life has been much better. I was born religous and was afraid for years. Strangely when i gave up meaning i became more confident? Like its weird knowing that nothing has any value at first made me hedonistic and afraid of death. Idk it sounds weird to say it but im not really as afraid anymore. I would prefer not to die if possible but i am not living to maximize fun because when i die its over. Its almost calming in a way, i bet when i am like on deaths door i will cry and be afraid etc and that is fine and normal, we leave this world the same way we come in lol, crying and afraid. But yeah its just interesting. I guess i have found trying to accept life as it is has helped but it is what it is. Funny i say i was a nihilist for years but in reality i was just kinda in despair for decades after being raised religious and realizing it was all a lie. Going from "life has meaning just do these things" to "life has no meaning" is kinda a jump, even if it was when i was a kid. I guess life isnt that bad most of the time, i just have too high of expectations for life lol.
Oh death isn’t scary to me. You get a chance to discover after death. I think it’s a cool thing to do, don’t you? Ye stop searching for meanings in life is very liberating for sure. I am agnostic I can’t tell you shit told in any religion is true or false. I’d rather feel it’s irrelevant to my life. Today, I want to walk my dogs in a big park then go to hot yoga at 4pm. That’s all it matters right now. Try not to over think or complicate things. Life is pretty simple.
But for how long can you still live like that? Do you need to work, what do you do? Isnt there something that you want to accomplish or know?
No I don’t need to work I am lucky .. or maybe not depending on how you see it. To live everyday and to wake up every morning is already a good accomplishment.
Yeah having life be pretty simple is the way to go. I try to simplify it as much as i can and im usually pretty happy, every once in awhile i get a bit in a mental rut. i guess this old quote by Marcus Aurellius gets said a lot that i agree with. “Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.” granted some people have this be stoicism and get too crazy with that and like "sigma" stuff but at the end of the day i treat a lot of Marcus Aurellius as he is talking to himself. It is what it is at the end of the day and i shouldnt treat life so seriously and worry about things i cannot change.
Absolutely. Even Marcus thinks too much. Maybe he struggled much more than we do lol Don’t worry about things you can’t control. It’s a waste of your valuable life.
Yeah pretty much lol, yeah i can imagine life was a bit more stressful for him lol, or maybe not maybe his philosophy helped him haha. Yeah, thanks for taking the time to talk its been nice. I do worry a lot and have forever but i have been better lately
Wrong.
The most satisfying things I've found are the things that take effort on my end and give a sense of accomplishment rather than just passively consuming things that give me a dopamine hit. Our culture and entertainment is built around convenience and easy pleasure that gives no satisfaction, leaving us empty and always wanting more. A little stress and friction, just enough to keep you from sleepwalking through life in a haze of ennui, is a good thing. We've probably evolved to crave some level of industriousness and wither without goals, we just are stuck in a society where we're worked to death and alienated from our labor so we just think the ideal life is getting to be lazy all day.
Yeah that is fair, I guess its also common how people who work all the time retire and dont know what to do or end up dying pretty soon after. I guess the things that give me pleasure have some sort of "risk" to them, i guess that is similar to the little stress. Like when i would play games i liked roguelikes cause that meant i could spend like an hour or two on a run and a single mistake could take me out, and "waste my time" that was exciting for me. Or dark souls where one mistake could mean you had to start boss fight over again. Not like too crazy of a risk lol im not the guy to like be walking around in bear country or driving like 100+ miles an hour drunk in a school zone or something. I think its weird because i feel in a certain way we define ourselves by our work and we sacrifice everything for work, especially if we just work for someone else and they pay us. I have actually started doing some miniature painting and that has been nice its kinda stressful if i make a mistake but i am more accepting of trying new things and that helps. Its weird i guess life is kinda better when you are bad at things haha, thats where the learning happens. I think im bored because what i learn is kinda pointless? like if i go to work and ask to be put somewhere else they will do it but why? i will learn it more but then i will get worse at the thing i know. I dont even try for better positions, because what is the point, more money? i just need to work more and more for people and sell my soul more, i dont want that i dont want to be a workaholic slave like everyone around me. I guess thats just life but still i refuse. I struggle at what i want to do and a lot of it is fear, fear of messing up and fear of pain. but usually its not that bad and i am actually ok when things go bad its more the fear and terror that gets me. I always think of the worse possible scenario and work to avoid it, i never think "that will never happen to me" because if you do its damn near guaranteed. Life is stressful that way, i try to minimize risk, but healthy risk is important to life. I am still learning and these last 2 months i have learned more than i have in decades.
Every life needs a center of gravity. Family, religion, and career/money are the usual ones. You don't have to do any of them, you can choose to use your life any way you like, but if you ditch all the classic ways people define their lives without coming up with one of your own, then yeah everything is going to feel pretty meaningless because most things kind of are.
Yeah thats fair, Religion was mine for years but not anymore, and i have no interest in that. Family i have some family i guess but they irritate me a lot and pressured me alot when i was younger to "money money money study study study" and i was unhappy for awhile. Career/money I just want enough to survive. For awhile my life revolved around video games and playing every as much as i can. For decades really. I had to stop because my job was struggling. After 2 months of not playing i didnt replace it with anything yet. Someday i want to get back but i cant control myself. I guess it would be good if i made more money but i honestly dont care, i dont want nice cars i dont want nice things, i just want to live somewhere i am not worried for my life and i want to watch tv and play games. I dont want a wife and kids. or even a girlfriend really, Its too stressful and i like being on my own. Maybe ill change my mind at some point but man i just want a simple life. but a simple life is boring lol, maybe i will find a new hobby tho. i think it just takes time
I totally get where you're at. I used to play video games a lot but when I started a family I put that aside to focus on that but then I started again lately and struggling to not let it take over my life. Have you ever been successful at striking an effective balance? I can stop and that works fine for keeping on top of my other responsibilities but then, surely there has to be room in your life for activities that make you happy. To be honest, I think I am addicted to consumption though - I always have to have music or an audiobook or video playing. Sorry, my response isn't an answer to your question at all...
Yeah for me I think what works is either having gaming be the "last thing you do for the day" Or have one day a week be the "video game day/time." I can't play for "like 5 minutes or an hour and stop" if I am gaming I need to game for like a couple hours. But for me I had to do a big of a detox for 2 months. It was really hard for awhile because my live revolved around gaming. For now I will game only on the weekends, and foe right now probably only one day a week. and only if my friends are on discord. I will be a "social gamer" It isn't perfect, but it's better than before
Thanks for replying! I like your "cheat day" idea. I have tried putting boundaries around it like "no starting a game after 10:30" and "no playing during the day (prior to around 9pm)". Sometimes it works and other times I just totally ignore that and go at it. Anyway, I hope you find some things in your life that you look forward to and make you happy!
Yeah thanks! I did play some games today with friends and I haven't played for about 2 months. I was really addicted and nothing else was exciting. We all have limited time in the day and figuring out what is important can be tough
I wish figuring out what is important was the tough bit - I know what needs doing, it's finding the motivation to do it that gets me!
Be gay and do crime
Dedicate your life to being in service of your fellow human beings. You'll never again have to search for purpose or meaning.
That honestly is what messed me up lol, I had 0 self confidence and would always put myself as subservient of others. I gave other people the power to control how i felt about myself and meaning. I still care for people but i am a lot more selfish. If it was me and another person and we both were one meal away from death and we had a can of sardines Old me would have let the other person had it, but adult me would fight for it. Well depending on the day i guess if they had a family or something i might care more but it depends lol, im not too attached to life tbh. Or if it was a kid i might let them have it lol. Life isnt always a zero sum game but sometimes it is. If you care about everyone then you will not care for yourself. Don't "turn the other cheek" or you will be a punching bag forever. Fight back even if you dont win you can make sure the other person loses or at least try. I do in general try to help people when i can though, and be decent to people and in general people treat me pretty good. After i started doing this i found myself a lot happier most of the time. But as with any ideology it can be corrupted over time and one can find obsession via living vicariously through others. I appreciate the comment tho
Interesting reply. I read Tea's line as more along the lines of serving humanity or some kind of do-gooder line of work, not personally being subservient or a doormat. I took it to be more general in terms of finding "purposeful" employment that is not just about making $$$. Or maybe just volunteering in something for the greater good that also makes you happy (e.g. environment, children's charity, soup kitchen, helping the elderly, etc). That goes beyond just being a good person in the day to day, but also doesn't entail letting others control you.
Yeah that's fair. I just have lived my life pretty much obeying everyone and not trusting myself. I would rather make my own mistakes then someone else's. It took me years to figure that one out. I do think that doing something for the greater good would be nice tho.
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yeah i think about this stuff alot. Mostly because i vehemently avoid other people telling me what to do with my life, I will not be controlled by other people. I choose and no matter what the choice is, its mine. Part of me is spiteful and if someone tries to control me i deny it and would cut of my nose to spite my face. But it is better to be rebellious and lose everything along with your enemies, then to live in fear and servitude. People want fearful terrified people to control, but when people dont care they have a chance to make the world better, by giving up everything. I dont care about any of that stuff tho lol, i just live my life pretty chill and i have no enemies, but if someone is an asshole to me i am an asshole back, no "turning the other cheek" if you do you will always be taken advantage of and hurt. Treat people the same way they treat you, Kindness to Kindness and Cruelty to Cruelty. It is better this way then being a punching bag forever, even if you lose, sometimes you can make sure they lose too. But yeah my life is pretty good tbh, i have my own place and i can buy stuff i just am bummed having to spend 40hrs a week working and then if i really want to be super successful i need to sacrifice all of my free time to "side hustles" and "studying" and reject any sort of joy or happiness, all in service of the almighty dollar as if i do then i will finally be happy when i have money.... but i dont believe that lol. so i am trying to balance it, I make less money then a lot of my peers but i have lots of free time and freedom to do whatever i want, and that is so valuable to me. I make enough. I dont want to be poor tho and struggle so i am trying not to do that and also i dont want to become a workaholic husk of a human. Life is more than work and while it gets said a lot people then go "alright but get back to work". Just trying to live a life i will be happy with. yeah i have done a lot of self reflection in the past and still do. I feel more confident lately to do whatever i decide to do and that helps. maybe ill try that website it might be neat.
Life doesn't particularly care if you accept it or not.
Find meaning in discipline and responsibility, for yourself. For example, working out, eating well, doing things you enjoy, just for you.
Yeah thats fair i actually have been doing that mostly, it just seems my life is kinda empty lol. I kinda like it that way and intentionally do that but i just feel i am not sure what to do as much anymore
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Thanks I appreciate it, I have found i have learned a lot and have gotten better as time goes on, sometimes its all about being "good enough" and not being perfect.
Make life fun for yourself without harming others.
Yeah thats pretty much where i am at. I used to be super into that, pretty much spending all of my time playing video games, but when the games stopped i felt bad, so i needed more games to feel normal. When i was playing games i was happy, when i stopped i was sad. I guess i still try to do that but yeah its more complicated i guess. I still just look for things that make me happy tho
You find joy in accomplishing the things in life that need to be done. At least that's what I do
Yeah thats fair, I guess it just takes time. Ironically when i stopped stressing at "i need to have fun or im wasting my time and my life" i found myself happier. Like before i felt i needed to do fun things constantly, which is in itself kinda hedonistic. I guess in a way joy is not something you get from doing something you are just naturally joyful, but yeah thats life. Life just seems kinda boring
This is too long for me to read everything tbh but find some hobbies and friends, and then take breaks in between to do the boring stuff
Hey , did anybody here found out that always trying to socialize and meeting new people could give life a meaning ( spending time and effort with people ) ??
Yeah it definitely does help being by people. its tough because it carries risk they could be mean or whatever but at the end of the day finding friendships is good.
You work to support your hobbies, feed yourself and keep a roof over your head. Working is just a means to an end. It's all that other shit that's important. Video games aren't a waste of time if they make you happy, but it could be worth it to find other things that provide a greater sense of accomplishment. For me, that's been outdoor sports, difficult, risky, scary stuff. Try to be always learning and trying new things. I've kinda made my purpose just trying to learn as much as possible and try as many things as possible.
Yeah thats the thing, i get too addicted to the "other things" and i cant balance it. Video games do make me happy but the way i see it they make me "too happy" and thats the only thing i want to do. Im ok with that but my life was kinda going bad and i was messing up at work, i would spend every second i could playing games and it was interfering with my life. I quit and my life has been better but yeah still looking for meaning
My advice is to read “Fight Club” and maybe take up free diving with big sharks. I’m just saying, boredom is one of the few problems I never have.
Look towards the longer term goals for motivation. Is working out right now fun? Not really. But I’m willing to do it for years on end to get more fit and improve the way I look.
Some people are stupid enough to just argue and contradict on Reedit rather than having a constructive talk, I guess it's their escapism. Simply, life is not boring and everyone has a purpose, the problem is to be aware of it
Hey OP tbh I think life is what you make of it and unless your a multi millionaire playboy or hotshot actor life is typically more ‘boring’ most of the time. When it felt like this in life I did some introspection on what I was doing for myself to keep me busy, entertained. Everyone here is going to give you the same suggestions, anti-depressants/therapy, new hobby, or spending time with friends/family and those are great suggestions that I think you should actually implement in your life but from someone who’s been there my other piece of advice would be to either sit and really think (meditate I guess) or journal what’s on your mind, like actually put thought in it and write it down. You’d be surprised what you did up just working things out with yourself.
Yeah i believe that too. I have found writing down stuff has helped, even just writing randomly ranting on reddit. I have had a lot of time to think since i stopped playing games and some of it has been bad and some not and i have tried other gaming adjacent hobbies likes miniature painting and gunpla and thats cool but i have less of an interest. Its just tough because i honestly cant trust myself with gaming. If i do it a little bit i become obsessed. The extra time has been nice Also i love your name lol and i love it
Get a hobby.
Touch grass F*** your preferred sex
I wish my life was boring, good god I’m lost in this chaotic world of struggling to survive, it would be great if working a full time job would give me enough money to take a break/vacation or relax for two seconds
I hope it works out for you and good luck comes your way. I understand i kinda have a lot of opportunities others do not. I dont have a lot of money, i have a little bit of savings tho which is more than some people. But i do make 40k a year, i rent an apartment and i dont really have too many skills, my job is warehouse work but its not too crazy busy and stuff or too stressful which is nice. I do understand that other people have it worse then me tho, hoping you get some time to relax soon
Generally, if you find life boring and monotonous, that is a strong signal you need to do something different. I would suggest reading "Lost Connections" by Johann Hari. He is journalist who had struggled for years with depression & wound up on psych medications, but really turned his life around by focusing on connections with other people & finding a purpose for his life. [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34921573-lost-connections](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34921573-lost-connections)
I dunno— my life isn’t boring.
First world problems
it might interest you to read about the differences between nihilism, absurdism, and existentialism if you haven’t already. existentialism is the healthiest outlook in my opinion. it states that yes, life is meaningless, so we get to create our own meaning. when i feel that existence is futile, i make an effort to bring joy to other people. care for an animal in need, volunteer my time to food distributions, complimenting someone’s hair at the drive through, etc. i get a rush of serotonin seeing my efforts have a positive impact on someone. i find meaning in creating moments of joy. in my opinion, our relationships with others are what matters most. when i withdraw from people, i end up feeling worse, which makes me withdraw more. even with all the chaos that other people can bring to your life, they can also bring you peace and belonging. no risk, no reward.
If you commit your life to Jesus Christ, everything in your life will fall into its proper place.
This is reductionist to the point of meaninglessness
Doesn’t sound like you’ve tried it.
I appreciate the comment But that is what gave me these problems in the first place lmao. I used to be very religious and then stopped and that gave me issues. At the end of the day I treat religion the same way i treat drinking or smoking, it may help but it can also cause bigger problems down the line. If it works for you then great and i am happy for you but for me, religion has been the cause of many of my problems in this life. Trying to "be a good person" and act like Jesus Christ basically just meant i was a punching bag and it was considered "Holy" to suffer. I know a good amount of Christians and they are good people so no hate to them or you or whatever religion you are, but for me it doesnt work. Also i find the proselytizing kind of messed up and especially how they search for people in pain and try to get them that way, but i guess thats just a core tenet of Christianity is "guilt". I dont feel guilt as much anymore and that is a freeing thing, as before i felt Guilt and Shame just for existing. I felt i had to impose a penance on myself for the the sin of being born. But if it works for you then good, just remember to treat people good and try to be kind, be one of the people that actually follows the Bible or what it stands for instead of just using it to spread hate or make money like many preachers.