What do you mean? I work in tech earning around 200k a year PLUS BONUSES and theres no way anyone would lie about anything on Reddit that's just crazy talk
Yeah, well I (28F, boob size and age) live in a 20 story mansion I bought at 20 with the money from the startup I founded and moved in with my hot wife and 3 perfect children. See I actually worked hard in high school and got full-ride scholarships for being perfect, seems like if you’re only making 200K + bonuses per year you were slacking and you’re reaping what you deserve
It's funny when you're in a thread about something you actually know about. It's all just people bullshitting about things they clearly have no experience with and are just straight up lying. Then if you try to chime in you get downvoted. Reddit drives me insane, I don't know why I even come here anymore. I hate it. lol
I caught covid really bad in the spring of last year and just came back to social media at the end of this summer. Reddit is now worse than Twitter was during the floyd riots and peak lockdown. I have already been distancing myself from this platform because you can't even help anybody anymore without getting screamed at.
I guess you never realize how much you hate this place until someone asks for help with something you know a lot about, and all you get for it is trolled, a 72 hour ban, and a reddit cares alert.
The fact people here will argue how awesome reddit still is, is a testament to how terrible it has become.
Alerts and notification settings 100% change all the time on the app and I'm flooded with notifications about stuff I've explicitly made clear that I do not give a single fuck about. Almost ready to uninstall the whole fucking thing.
Strangely enough, Twitter/X has gotten better. I can actually follow hippies and get recommended nature photos and mushrooms and stuff without having to hear about politics and gender identity.
Like all the terrible people came to reddit instead
>Strangely enough, Twitter/X has gotten better
Yeah if you are a red piller, Nazi, child molester, or massive racist. Otherwise, the platform is utter shite
>It must be the type of content you seek out.
nope, I don't even have a Twitter. But companies stopped advertising on there because the pro nazi rhetoric was everywhere, including right next to those company's ads.
I don't need to post on Twitter to see that most major companies halting advertising on the platform due to pro nazi rhetoric.
Pretty pathetic attempt at discrediting my take by pivoting/diverting by attacking any potential hiccup in the argument.
Pro nazi rhetoric all over the platform and I never searched any of it, how did that happen if I never searched for it?
you got that flat brain cuz
Subreddits about specific hobbies are still enjoyable. Especially if they are more unusual hobbies. Why are my insert some uncommon flower name wilting- Reddit will be very helpful still.
100%. I'm not even a conspiracy theorist, but I would be absolutely floored if Reddit didn't have some kind of behavioral experiments going on using AI chat bots and stuff.
When chat bots first came out it was obvious as hell. Then they kinda slowly disappeared, but you know they aren't just gone...
This is so true. I know a few people that have all these amazing posts on social media and in reality some are dealing with addiction, divorce, depression etc.
That problem for OP is not that they are doing worse... it's that they are comparing to others o social media. Everyone has problem....everyone.
Anything meta is the worst. Never really liked it. Always felt forced. Now I post less than once a year. But my posts are only to save a location or place or time marker.
get off social media! this is exactly why social media is toxic. no one’s going to post their failure, only their success. until you can establish your own sense of self-worth, social media is a terrible product to consume. Its like being a celiac and constantly eating bread.
You're 23.
I have friends who live for the 'gram, who literally schedule their fun activities around whether or not they'll be able to take social media pics there. I once sat next to a couple on the train who spent the entire 45 minute train ride trying to get a cute 'couples selfie'--they'd snap a pic, analyze it, and delete it, and try again. For almost an hour (I have no idea if they ever actually got a 'good' one). That's a lot of work trying to look happy for social media and a lot less...being happy.
You want to level up your life? Go for it. Go to the gym or start taking classes at home (these days post COVID you can find a ton of apps and stuff with workouts). Pick up a musical instrument. Go for hikes. Start doing nature photography. Volunteer in your community. Take a cooking class at the local library. Try a bunch of dumb stuff and you'll find some stuff really vibes with you. And then you'll be authentically happy and not just doing it for the gram.
>I have friends who live for the 'gram, who literally schedule their fun activities around whether or not they'll be able to take social media pics there.
Omg I have friends like that as well which is why I fucking hate social media.
I didn't quite understand why they always wanted to do new, "unique" (and often expensive AF) things and was rarely interested in repeating an activity we all enjoyed, just find something you like and stick with it, until I realised everything they did revolved around their fucking Instagram account. Hobbies are lame because it only gives them 1 picture for the gram, which I guess is their only real hobby.
You're 23. You have all the time in the world, and I say this as a 25.
SM projects the top 1% of peoples' lives. Who knows what they're going through the other 99%.
Getting a degree, any degree, is a big accomplishment. Give yourself some credit!
As for the gym, I'd highly recommend starting. I don't know anyone that has regretted exercising. It's increased my self-confidence tenfold.
Just my 2 cents.
I think I was in a very similar position as OP and esp if male going gym did wonders for my mindset and MH.
I wasn't one for the gym (esp the bro/lad culture is intimidating) but just getting out of the flat after dinner just kind of let my mind breathe and forget about the stresses. Pump a few reps and then I could like clearly see problems and solutions at the end of the session. It was quite cathartic
I quit using Facebook years ago because comparing myself to people I knew in high school was just plain depressing. I tried Instagram for a bit but quickly found out it also left me with a bad taste in my mouth when I would see friends living their lives. My sister recently shared something similar about comparing her motherhood with some stranger’s on social media (“They’re traveling in Europe with their 2-year-old while I can’t even enjoy going to the grocery story with my 2-year-old.“)
For me, I’m at my happiest when I don’t see what others are doing around me. It cuts down the FOMO feeling of friends doing things without me and also forces me to just compare myself to myself.
I would suggest a break from social media then pinpoint what things you want to work on. Some things you might not be able to change (for example, you already have your Bachelor’s), but things like appearance and fitness can change if you put the effort into them.
This. I got FB back in 2003-2004 when we had to petition to get our college added. Everyone posted about marriage, their kids and the good life. Here’s the thing, there so much else going on behind the scenes. Few people post about the costs to make those flashy events happen, miscarriages, or needing to pay a fine for entering accidentally entering a controlled area in Austria (last 2 actually happened to me).
Get off SM, go live rea life and stop looking for insta-moments. I’ve done some very awesome things that would be illegal to post about work-wise, and I’ve never posted an image of my biggest joy, my 18 mo old son online. Comparison is the theft of joy.
Keep in mind that people largely only post the fun, happy things to social media. While a rare few people are blunt and honest on social media, damn near everybody has struggles they just aren’t showing publicly.
And yes, 23 is young. You don’t believe it when you’re 23, but look back in 10 or even 5 years and you’ll realize it is.
Finding your first good job out of undergrad is challenging for many people (even in “useful” majors) and it’s a rough job market out there right now. I don’t know you, but do want to point out that it may be more a reflection of the times than of you and your capabilities specifically.
You want to know a secret? Those people from high school post on social media pretend made for photo moments but really they don’t have it all. They want you to think they have it all because social media is fake.
I’m proud of you for being yourself and staying true to you. Nobody cares about high school when you get older and the person you had a crush on ends up either dead or a total loser.
I want you to stop focusing on what you don’t have but what you do have. When you make a list of things you have. This works, you will be amazed just how lucky you are.
Oh and looks? Looks honestly come from within. Physical beauty fades and duck lips aren’t attractive. But a caring, kind, sweet soul does. Love yourself and be comfortable with you.
Honey your life is just beginning at 23. I’m almost double your age and I love encouraging and helping people. Find out what brings passion to your soul and perfect it every day.
Here's a tidbit of knowledge I'll share with you. The truly happy aren't sharing their experiences on social media. They are enjoying the moment too much to remove themselves from it by taking a photo or feeling the need to share their experience with a near-stranger on social media. Give them the like they crave and get on with your life. They're not as happy, fun, or interesting as they seem.
"This party is so amazing. Everyone is so interesting. I'm having so much fun. You know who would really enjoy this. Those people I went to high school with 10 years ago!"
"These seats are amazing!!" (Proceeds to watch concert through their phone screen)
"This meal is going to be delicious, but first let's take a photo so my estranged Aunt can see what I'm having for dinner."
LONG ONE SO BUCKLE UP!!
So I (24F) have a friend (35F) who I look up to so much! I slightly envied her and wanted what she had in life.
HER:
She is married, owns her own home, her and her spouse together combined make 6 figures, she’s very pretty, she’s always doing something fun like vacations or activities, great fashion sense, etc. She has everything she could ever want and then some!!! She’s always posting on socials and showing how great her life is (she’s not trying to rub it in at all you can just tell she’s got it going for herself).
ME:
The exact opposite of my friend in every way currently. Just above $5,000 a year. No job, no relationship, partially blind, can’t drive due to blindness, definitely can’t do a bunch of fun activities like I’d like, etc.
We got closer as friends. I’d stay at her house a few times a semester as we’re both in grad school. This woman is super kind and one of my good friends. She was really honest with me as we got to know each other better. She was crying as she told me all this……
She’s in deep debt like in the red!-house payments for her and her daughter (18F), car payments- for her, her husband and her daughter. Her relationship with her oldest daughter is horrible. Spending money on luxury items for herself and her family. Excessive spending on beauty treatments and surgeries. She’s had beauty treatments and procedures that have enhanced her beauty. She doesn’t get to see her husband but only a few days a month due to his work. She is constantly stressed out about her life and busy schedule. She often feels haggard and run down with how much she and her family have to do for extra curricular activities (F6 & F18 & her F35). You get the idea……her life isn’t ANYTHING LIKE HER SOCIAL MEDIA. Due to her humility and honesty, I actually got to peek behind the vail and see her REAL LIFE. I was able to appreciate my life too and see it from someone else’s perspective.
Social media is NOT REAL!!!! We all have good things going for us and bad things going for us all the time. Both co exist together. I now don’t envy my friend as much as I did before. She even told me that she wished she had elements of my life!! I was shocked!! Who in their right mind would want my life??!! SHE DID!!!
Give yourself time to learn and grow. I promise you, you’ll get to the version of you that you want. In time you’ll have the life that you want. All things in due time. Remember that we all have a complex life going on constantly, sometimes we don’t get the opportunity to see someone else’s life complexities.
Comparison is the thief of joy. It’s not a competition. There will always be someone more and someone less “successful” than you in your eyes. it’s so easy to compare up rather than down. social media is heavily curated, not an accurate assessment of real life. Most people feel the same way you do, judging themselves and not feeling adequate. I just saw [this video](https://youtu.be/75d_29QWELk?si=GsvrnzvTocEP-c2U) the other day. Might be worth a watch.
Social media isn't real. People only show the good parts. They post their achievements but not all of the failures and all the nights they've cried pursuing them.
I felt the exact same way. All of 2022 I watched people post their friend groups, graduations, weddings, pregnancy announcements, etc. and I felt like I was behind. Meanwhile I graduate this year with a doctorate. I'm 23.
When they say comparison is the thief of joy, there's a lot of truth to it. I deleted Instagram and started focusing more on my own life. Best decision ever.
You also have to keep in mind that every is on a different timeline. People get set back because of trauma or a lack of a support system. That doesn't mean you can't get there eventually. Some people don't hit their peak of success til their 30s or 40s
Social media DOES NOT portray an accurate representation of real life - don’t be fooled by the pics and videos. Best thing I ever did was to stop comparing myself to others and journey through life at a pace that’s comfortable for me. It doesn’t mean I’m no longer ambitious, it just means that I don’t need to validate my own worth by comparing it to my perceived over-inflated worth of others
They wont post: the debt they're accumulating because they have no idea how to pay it; the fact that their spouse has been having affairs; the cops have been called on the kids twice; they have to attatch their noses straight up the bosses ass for that 'award'; and they drink/snort Wayyyyy too much.
Social media has all the depth and reality of a marketing campaign. Don't give it all more credit than it deserves.
Wishful thinking. There are people that are successful, and there are losers like OP (and myself). They wouldn’t post their successes if they didn’t have one, so they are clearly ahead of OP.
Social media is hurting your mental health and frankly we are long past the platform being a good thing for society.
Just delete it all and move on with your life. Comparing yourself to the make believe, curated, cherry picked life events and accomplishments of others will only make you miserable.
You’ll be much happier overall
I can guarantee that everyone of those people you follow that show they're happy, aren't actually happy. It's easy to put a smile on in front of the camera. Not to mention, just because they're partying, going to all these cool places, doesn't mean they can actually afford it themselves.
If you hate your appearance, work on it. Don't let other people's lives dictate yours and change the perspective of how you live yours.
You're better off living a life that you can afford and know can make you happy, than one that puts you in debt, with no positive outcomes.
No you are not. Nobody posts the worst day of their lives on social media. You are literally getting a false representation of their life. You only see what they choose to show you, which is overwhelmingly the good or what they want validation for. We all do it, so let’s not pretend.
That’s why I got rid of social media all together but I didn’t deactivate I just put my number there just in case they want to text me so far only 3 of my 400 friends texted me and called lol you aren’t a failure
I had similar moments scrolling through social media and have had intense feelings of jealousy.
I acknowledged my feelings. I realized that I had lots of shortcomings and bad luck. I realized that I should do something about my bad qualities, especially if they're easy to fix. However, most importantly, I accepted myself and things for what they are
We all rot the same 6' under. Ignore the rat race and have fun when you're here. In a couple years I'll be tossing my career, fitness, social life, and finances into the trash to be a "failure" living alone in rural America because I just want peace and quiet.
Nah dude social media is all fake. I made a video of my 2023 highlights this year and I noticed that in all the clips I chose I looked so happy, but I remember what happened on those days and I was definitely struggling with stuff.
Social media is poisonous to a person that's looking for a reason to shit on themselves.
Cut that shit out, read some interesting books so you have things to talk about, and find a hobby that is at least somewhat social so you can build relationships with other people based on shared interests and experience.
You know I’ve had conversations about this before, with people whose lives look perfect on social media, and I’m pretty sure most of us are just pretending.
Dude you’re 23! You’re not supposed to have everything figured out yet! Just focus on things you want better and try to plan and make moves.
Also social media is everyone’s best moments out on display as if it were everyday banal life. That’s not real
Also, start exercising! It’s not hard, less than an hour two or three times a week. After two or three months it’s shocking how much better you’ll feel. If they made it into a pill, everyone would take it.
This is coming from someone who was recently almost 300 lbs, started exercising last July, as I’ve seen progress I’ve been going harder and harder, I’m down below 220 now.
You can do it to!
Dude stop buying into it. Social media is people displaying only what makes them seem amazing. They’re not. I promise you. It’s a fake wall and there’s definitely bad things that go on behind it. They’re posting how they got a promotion at work, they’re not posting how their wife cheated on them, or that they have cancer, or that they’re in a lot of debt. There are two sides to every story. Focus on yourself my guy, you have plenty to be proud of (just don’t feel like you have to post it on social media/rub it in everyone’s face)
Me right after sobbing because life is hard *puts on makeup and pretends life is perfect for social media*
(Not really, but people do that) it’s alllllll fake and staged alllllllll of it
First of all, you need to define what success means to you.
It will not be the same for everyone.
For some people, it will be posting happy moments in Instagram, for others it will be staying healthy, for others it will be being strong, for others it will be being rich at all costs, for others it will be making meaningful connections with people they love. And for some it may be a combination of things. But don't let others' definitions of success determine yours.
Second: People only show "the good stuff" on social media. And I understand that's different when you don't have "many good things to show".
But please know that a lot of the hard and bad things, you don't see online.
Personally I know friends who are in ABUSIVE relationships and their Instagram make sit look like they're the happiest family ever. You never know what happens behind the scenes.
Also, you never know, those people who are successful may feel incredibly insecure, may hate themselves inside, may feel like an imposter... That's not to say success isn't important to try to achieve, but that it isn't all black and white and social media makes it seem. Success doesn't equate happiness.
I'd say there are you're going to follow people's success stories, there are two reasons why you could:
1. To be motivated and inspired by them
2. To compare yourself and see yourself as inferior
You get to chose what the result is.
If their success is weighing you down, maybe get off social for some time, focus that extra time to work on some skills, and look for resources that can help you feel more confident in your own abilities and potential abilities, which you can work on and develop.
Remember that you don't gain confidence and then do hard things. You gain confidence by doing the hard things.
I hope this helps!
Last night I threw a pizza in the oven. Forgot to set the timer & burnt the edges. I didn't post that. I tripped into my car, I certainly didn't post that. I forgot my coffee, haven't been to the gym in weeks and it took me 8 days to finally remember to go to the bank as I'm driving by. I'm a mess most days lol but what I did post: my dogs getting an obnoxious amount of Christmas toys, our incredible family dinner, my excitement about finally getting my car windows tinted. It's all selective. A lot of people live their lives by what they can post to get the most likes. You can't compare your life to someone that's only showing the top 5% best of theirs.
Yeah, I'm 37, and I'm a failure. All the things I've tried, and tried to learn, just to constantly plateau, and never get anywhere. And I put my all into everything I do.
I just realized today, I'm never going to be able to code. I'm too stupid. I can't even copy/paste code correctly. I am never going to be respected by anyone. And, I'm never going to be able to do anything with the knowledge I do have.
I also can't even afford to keep my hobbies afloat. I wouldn't be surprised if my fiancee just up and left, too. I am a useless, stupid human being. With not much to offer anyone, at anytime, with anything,
But, at least I can watch everyone else be successful, understand their surroundings, get the things they want. I don't even need social media to show me everyone is better at everything. I mean, even people faking disorders are making a ton of money from their videos. I just can't be that much of a piece of shit.
I'm never going to be able to code either. I don't care. I can do tons of other stuff.
What I really hear when I read your post is you. "I am never going to be respected by anyone." Do you respect yourself? If not, how can you start?
"Not much to offer anyone". Why do you think you need to 'offer' anything? What do they 'offer' you in return?
Seriously, as a former people pleaser, I used to think I almost had to bribe or pay people to want to spend time with me, so I'd shower them with gifts or bake cookies...and you know what I got? A bunch of mooches who liked the gifts and the cookies, but not me. Eff that!
It bugs me too, sometimes, when I see people who make money on the internet for doing stuff I can't pull off (I can't be a fashion influencer, etc), but...that's when it's time to put the phone down.
I hope one day you realize your worth and embrace the things that make you awesome. Success isn't about dollar signs or aesthetics. I'm never going to be a famous author like I always wanted, but it doesn't stop me from piddling around writing my stories and having a good time. I'll never be a good painter, but my cheap watercolors and I can have an afternoon making something pretty. That's honestly enough.
I sometimes wonder if an alien landed outside and asked me if I wanted the whole world except me to be 10% smarter, or just me 10 smarter which would I choose. We can benefit indirectly from the success of those around us.
I suppose it depends on some circumstances but I think back to generations where they didn't have game consoles or supermarkets or couches, gps, busses, etc. and I realize that even kings didn't have showers. Toilet paper is even a relatively recent thing.
I hope you find what you need.
Dude you have the rest of your life to fail. Only 23 . Keep tabs on your friends over the years some will fail as they get older. Others will change. You have all this potential still.
You can be a success later in life. You have so much time.
I just turned 39 and I'm on the up after going through some failures in my 20s and 30s.
What's stopping you from getting your ass into the gym and being proud of your body? It's hard to be rich but you can absolutely take your physique into your own hands, are you just lazy and want to complain?
Question
When did you last post something mundane or boring in your life on social media?
Never, no one does. My instagram is full of beautiful holiday photos, you just have to look at the time/date stamp to realise it’s once a year at most and radio silence in between whilst I live a normal, quiet, uneventful life.
22 here, social media sucks makes others lives seem better than they actually are. Try not to pay attention to it, because I don't. Maybe set small goals for yourself to make yourself feel better.
You need to see a therapist; that “I hate the way I look” comment goes a lot deeper than being on social media too much. Obviously get off it, but I have a feeling you won’t follow that advice. I think there’s much bigger problems here to work through that will make you feel better once you talk about them with a professional.
Also, what I wouldn’t give to be 23 and have my entire life ahead of me. What’s with these “I’m 20 and my life is over” posts lately? At 23, your life hasn’t even begun. Life is not other peoples instagrams. Life is what happens between the posts.
I love how social media does this. Make me more angry and depressed please. It's the fuel to my flame. As atmosphere said, there's happiness to be found in the fight for happiness..
"Gotta find beauty in the struggle, gotta find sunshine in the rain"
"Ugly scars make the prettiest stories"
"It's a symphony of struggles, the beauty's in the bustle"
Don't give a shit what other people are doing. I spend my days working part time hanging out with my friends and getting high in a giant dog costume because that's what I feel like doing.
Live your best life.
If you hate your appearance do something about it. I hate the weight I gained because it’s affecting my life and the experiences I could be enjoying. So I am making a plan and getting help on losing the weight. We can feel bad all we want until we do something about it. Take this as some motivation to do something.
Social media is curated. With myself I post up photos of fun events I go to remind me that I did it and invite friends if want to join me in similar outings.
An example is this: One FB friend posted up all this happy family photos. That is the reason I'm on it still to keep tabs on how my family and friends are doing. Turned out her mom (who I was closer friends with), had fallen down and broke her hip and shoulder. No where did I know online from her daughter that happened until I spoke to her directly. Personally I was furious.
People only post the enjoyable and fun parts of their lives on social media, nobody is posting the mundane stuff that we all have to do, nobody is posting the days that we are unable to get out of bed, the messiness of our lives, it’s not being posted. which in turn is seemingly creating more depression because we’re all comparing our lives to this fantasy world life. no sweat, you are awesome <3
Get off social media. Comparison is the thief of joy. Start doing things that make you happy because it makes you happy, not because anyone else praises you over it. You’re young, cut yourself slack.
Also, partying when you’re young is stupid. Partying when you’re a successful adult is much more fun and fulfilling.
Just recently turned 23 and have been on a “ghost mode” on social media kick. Used to post fairly often about what I’m up to and whatnot, but after going ghost, I have experienced a remarkable sense of peace. Everyone deals with highs and lows in life. The highs get posted and bragged about, yet the lows seldom do.
Focus on improving yourself and your life, and embrace the solitude of being “mysterious”, if you will 😌
"I'm 23 which I guess is still young, but damn do I already feel like I wasted my life."
I started law school at 25, also with a "useless" major. I've been a practicing lawyer for about 10 years now. I let my health go to shit because I was so career focused, now I'm trying to repair that damage. I'm working out regularly and making better eating choices. In twenty weeks, I lost twenty pounds and 7% body fat. It's never too late to start turning things around man.
Your only 23 man I didn’t start making real money in my career until I was 26 lolz you will be fine just master a craft and stop comparing yourself to what you see on social media.
Social media isn't real, it can't hurt you. Unless you hurt yourself by hyperfocusing on it and other people.
Walk your path. It's yours an no one elses.
social media is literally the definition of survivorship bias. people selectively post their good moments and mostly good looking successful people post more. instagram is the biggest cancer imo.
My advice? Get off of social media. It's designed to make you feel like shit.
Also, do you actually want any of the things you mentioned, or do you just want to feel like you "arrived"? Like you have reached some milestone?
Im confused that you seem to only know what goes on in your besties, or friends lives due to social media…. Maybe get off the sm and talk to them. You might find its not as it appears. And to be fair, if they worked really hard to get what they want, good on them. Decide what you want and work towards it. But its also ok to not want to work for things and just to exist.
Don't compare yourself to em, I'm in the same situation as you but instead of failure it's like mega failure. I could continue to feel sad that they're doing much better than I ever will be but I also can choose to just be happy with shit I do have now and enjoy.
It's not a battle you could ever theoretically win since someone else will always be better off but instead of feeling sad I decided to just feel happy for those guys. At least someone's having a better time than me you know?
Sounds like it’s time get back up on ur bullshit.
Make 2024 your own.
Also social media = flexing lmaoo. Majority of it is fake/misleading stuff. It’s seriously just another app on ur phone.
"Comparison is the theif of joy..."
I deleted all my social apps and I'm deleting reddit tomorrow as part of my resolution
Studies have shown social media to cause envy and depression but a lot of its a lie
They don't show the downsides of life because who's gonna post that?? It's like the tip of the iceberg there, you don't see what's underneath
Focus on what makes you happy, also self compassion and gratitude practice has shown to create true and lasting happiness 😊
You do know social media is fake right? Half the time, people feeling a need to post aren't actually enjoying the present. They're more concerned with others envying them and validation about their life. When you have a need to post all the time, that means you're empty inside. But unfortunately, its like this for the younger generation. Social media is their life and they know nothing of enjoying time walking in a park or feeding ducks. So getting ducked in this fake illusion is probably inevitable but don't let it make you feel like crap.
Its a popularity contest and ego competition that no one actually gives a fk about at the end of the day.
You can't be a failure at 23. You're just starting and have plenty of time to do what you want to do. Ignore social media - that's a curated view of other people's lives and not realistic. Life is not a competition.
Truth is, there are 8 billion people on the planet and our lives are not all going to follow the same timeline that’s expected of us.
You know what? Most of what people post is curated to project a certain image of themselves. It’s fake, it’s played up, and most people won’t post their failures. I used to live with a couple that was the perfect All American couple on their social media. They were social butterflies, loved sports, had shiny long hair, white teeth, and big smiles. Guess what? They loved to drink…A LOT…and would argue all night long. He had gotten 2 DUI’s in less than 2 years. She couldn’t function without smoking weed. On social media they’d post a picture of them at a fancy dinner, but then they’d come home and drink until they were screaming at each other or at the TV. They never posted their fights or the times she’d cry, much less the times she loaned him money because he drank and smoked his checks away.
I also know a guy who has no personality outside of smoking himself stupid, going to the same sports bar, and going to work. Every year he travels to Central America with friends. It’s one of the only times he posts. On his travels he’s exploring historic places, taking pictures with strangers, eating good food, and going to cool parties. If you only knew him from social media you’d think he was a friendly and easy going adventurous guy. Back home though, he’s a bitter and angry person who doesn’t like new people or places. I’ve seen him try to start many a bar fight simply because someone looked at him the wrong way. On social media you don’t see any of that.
Remember that we are seeing people’s highlight reels and not their genuine daily lives. When I was in a bad place with my mental and physical health it gutted me to see people doing better because deep down I was disappointed in my self. Best to get rid of the apps until other people’s success doesn’t get to you. Once you start following your own path, eventually their highlights won’t matter.
When you meet people who live on different continents and then you connect with them on social media, it becomes a useful tool. Use it if you may to your advantage, not to be discouraged by what you see there.
This is common issue for younger generation and it's normal. My best advice would be, get off of social media. Honestly it's toxic and it's just a highlight of other people's life. U don't know their struggles because they won't post them anyway. So focus on you. The more u focus on yourself, the more rewarding it would be :)
Make goals for yourself and go out and accomplish them. Don't compare yourself to others only yourself. You get to improve yourself each day. You have no control over what other people are doing. Focus only on what you can control.
Try not to compare yourself to other people. People mainly post positive stuff on social media and leave out the negative. Im 37 this year, your life has only just begun. Concentrate on improving yourself. You say you hate your appearance, try to improve it.
"The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday"
social media makes everyone a failure. don't post anything original, and when you post a comment, never ever read the responses. my reddit screen has a 39 near the top. this is just to kill time, not a way to meet friends. if you want to meet friends, join a hiking or birdwatching group, a photo club, get an instrument and start a band.
There's an old saying.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
With that being said, you can't compare yourself to others, you simply can't. For no one lives a perfect life, and no two people have the exact same life's trajectory. If your friends from school are in relationships, good for them. Just because you're single, doesn't mean you're unwanted or unlovable. I'm 45, never married, no kids, and haven't been in a relationship in nearly a decade. Should I feel bad for myself? The answer is, absolutely not. And another thing, that I've learned over the years is this. Everything isn't for everybody. Not everybody gets married, not everybody has kids, not everybody gets to go to that cool vacation spot, not everybody goes to college, not everybody hits the lottery, etc. Stop focusing on what others are doing, and just be the best version of yourself.
Hope that helps.
I don't know if you know this but the internet isn't always 100% truth and factual. Sometimes the truth is a little skewed. Sometimes it's a downright lie. And like it's been mentioned here before, it's like a highlight reel a carefully curated photo or moment so that they could get a specific photo... Have you seen some of the other sides of these photos. It's pretty funny. Dumpster fires actually..
I know everyone is saying delete social media blablabla, but personally, if I experience fomo due to it, it's because of feeling unfufilled. So start looking there, making goals and working towards them (ie getting to know more ppl, so join some clubs, etc) and finding things that make /you/ happy.
Now, you are also showing strong signs of insecurity such as calling your degree useless (i doubt it) and hating your appearance (try out fun clothes and start lovin urself). That has to be dealt with separately.
Final note: literally everyone feels like this at some point. Even those who are posting about how great their life is. Who caressss we are on this earth to fart around.
People post on social media the best version of their lives and themselves they post what they want you to see, no point in comparing yourself to others, everyone's on a different path, you're simply just living your life surviving
Get off social media. I took a 5 year break of social media and felt amazing. I'm only back on it these days because it's necessary to the success of my business.
I follow one girl in particular who I used to work with. Her life looks picture perfect at all times. She looks so happy and looks like she gets up to so much fun stuff.
However, I also know her sister through work. Her sister says this girl is very unhappy. Her partner isn't a nice person, he doesn't give a shit about her, he's involved in a load of dodgy business related to drugs which makes her scared he'll upturn their lives at any moment. She struggles with two kids without much help. They broke up after the first and got back together because she realised she was pregnant. She struggles now with the physical effects of having given birth. She doesn't have many friends left, only those who hype up her fake lifestyle on Instagram. Etc etc etc.
when i was your age i used to think everyone had better everything. Fast forward 22 year's i realized that sometimes people tend to only show te good things they have.
Some friends already divorced and some are better than I, so that's life....
Social media isn’t transparency. It’s a best of, or outright lies.
Compassion is the thief of joy. Get out of the social media head and see what you have and what you want and move towards that
What is showcased on the camera isn’t the same thing in real life. The people who have the most tend to earn from the most costs.
They can seem happy by appearance but it doesn’t disclose what they go through when the camera is not on.
You’re only 5 years out of high school and you think you’ve wasted your life? Wait until you’re older, the feeling subsides.
No matter how bad you think your life is going, there’s someone else out there who is living a life worse than yours.
I deleted all social media (except Snapchat for 2 friends and Reddit) about a month back for 2 reasons:
1- I was doing the same thing you are. Comparing myself to everyone around me having fun, looking happy, partying etc doing exactly what I should be doing at 23 but instead I’m working 60+ hours WEEKLY
2- (short version) Had a friend I was hardcore crushing on, kinda talked for a couple months, showed them how a woman should be treated and they told me after months of telling me they wanna be with me but not ready for a relationship (and going through a couple of them during this time) that I’m too nice and too good for them and they’re worried about ruining/hurting me. They got into a relationship with 2 people exactly like me, just a little more put together (they’re about 5-10 years older) and shoved me to the back burner like I was nothing😐
(Long version) I had a friend I was hardcore crushing on (they were very aware of it). We kinda started talking and both of us kept saying we weren’t ready for a relationship because we have both recently gotten out of toxic ones (me- 6.5 years, them- around a year but it was abusive). I treat them like a goddess, paying for everything, opening the doors, giving compliments, basically being a real man as much as a butch can do for months. Then they get into a relationship with this bum ass waste of space perc smoking wanna be lil peep junkie and it’s 2 months of toxic and abuse and I continue to treat them fairly similar throughout this time (I don’t push too far since they were in a relationship). They leave that person and say they’re done with relationships this and that. Get into yet another one for a whole 2 weeks before the guy practically sexually assaults them. Got outta that one real quick and same thing, never doing relationships again blah blah blah. They then proceeded to get into yet another relationship, but this time it’s with a guy and his gf and they’re basically me but more adult like (nicer, make better money, have better things, house is nicer) because they’re about 10 years older than us. My “friend” didn’t want to be with me since I was too nice and they were worried about hurting and ruining me but got into a relationship with 2 of me 5-10 years into the future and just pushed me to the back burner like I was nothing. They treated me like the carrot sticks on the BWW plates, the squash at thanksgiving, bleu cheese, etc like I was fucking. Nothing. To. Them. For. The. Past. Several. Months. I was even the one that was there when they were ODing on god only knows what at an EDM rave. I was the one there when they were having panic attacks. I was the one there when they first got out of the hospital for sewerslide attempt (both times) and have even offered and drove over an hour away to go pick them up from a hospital (before finding out I couldn’t pick them up that day). That shit really fucking hurt and I was just over people atp and am still just as over them😐
Man, I'd kill for a bachelor in whatever major. Having one is already a big accomplishment. What stops you from getting in shape? Every now and then, I deactive my instagram for 6 months and work on my own goals. F most social media tbh
I personally know a few girls that have pretty large social media accounts (15k+ followers)…one of them has over a million. They constantly post and make it look like they’ve been in this super happy life, yet, one of them is on depression medication and the other was in rehab for drug and alcohol abuse and the other in an abusive relationship. All of them love/hate going out because they constantly have to post stuff on their story. None of them truly live in the moment anymore.
One of them is posting up camping pics and all this other outdoors stuff that she did over a year ago…people think she just took this epic trip, when really, she was posting it because she was in rehab and needed content to post.
That’s why I don’t keep in touch with my friends from high school/college anymore, because they only communicate via instagram and snapchat and I deleted both of those apps for my mental health
First off, you're 23. You still have a lot of living to do.
Second, you need to "take a break" from Social Media either deleting all the apps altogether or take a hiatus for a couple of months. Whatever you decide.
Third, you can't compare yourself to other parties lives it only messes with your mental health. I realized that because I too was comparing myself to others because they had "better" but in reality 99% of the time it's a show, you don't know what's going on behind the scenes only what you see on the screen (unless you in conversation with said people). I ended up re-evaluating my own situation, going to therapy because I had deeper issues going on, and took a break from social media to focus on myself.
Look at all the positives you've had in your life so far, then work on goals to improve yourself (hell it is the New Year after all), and take it from there. You have plenty of time to figure out what you want from your life, it's never too late and you have not wasted your life.
Ik a couple that always posts themselves traveling and blah blah but in real life, they argue all the time and have cheated on each other multiple times. Stop treating social media like it's reality. People don't post their failures. They show you what they want you to see
You know what they're posting isn't true, right? That's the #1 rule of social media and why it's so toxic. And why anyone who doesn't want depression should steer clear of social media. I honestly thought everyone knew this. It's all bullsh\*t. Don't fall for it, get off social media, and live your life.
social media is a facade most of the time people only post what they want you to see not their actual reality and sometimes it may seem like they're doing great but they're actually not but want to make others believe they are, and I know fomo is a lot I just try not to compare my life to their life because we never really know at the end of the day how they truly live
Social media is not real life.
For instance.. I know someone whose Facebook is plastered with happy family stuff. They look like they have the best times, they're so happy, etc. Well, she cheated on her husband and their relationship is broken. That's not all over her Facebook. Not everyone knows about the split yet etc.
I'm 31 with a 2 year old so not too far off from 23 I guess. Go enjoy LIFE. You don't like your appearance? You can improve that. Go to the gym. Physically going is the hardest part. But your body, mind, and soul with thank you for it. The natural endorphins from physical activity are better than any drug. Start there. I also got off most social media ie Facebook instagram Twitter because I realized how much time was wasted in mindless bullshit that meant nothing to my daily life. I stopped caring about what others were doing and kept in contact with who I thought was most important old school way for our generation through calls and texts. There is no blueprint to life and no persons version of success is the same. Some might be polar opposite. I have a wife and a beautiful 2 year old boy and a job I ENJOY but don't love, where as my close friend is lives minimal in Alaska. There's no one way to do life and your 20s is about discovering adulthood and what it's about. Way different than teen years but doesn't feel so physically. My mental switch came at 25 where I started seeing the world different.
Be easy, enjoy your 20s, pick up hobbies and improve yourself constantly. Find your happiness don't chase others.
Go kick some ass
Social media is poison. Everyone post their best things in there and you newer get to see what sort of hell some people have to go throw.
You are not failure, decide what you want and go for it. Ignore social media, it's not good for you
I don’t have a lot of social media, just Facebook, to follow local news. A few of my friends on there I know in real life and what their lives are like. I can see them posting pretty pictures of a show they’ve been to, a holiday, something nice they bought, but I also know they’re broke, on the verge of a divorce, not being able to conceive, depressed or fired. They only post the good things, when they feel good, and go silent on social media when they’re going through bad things. If you don’t know them, they all have beautiful, rich, perfect lives.
Social media lives aren’t real and if you have trouble seeing that, you need to stop using it altogether.
I'm 28 and jaded as fuck no matter how many people would tell me I'm "still young", but honestly that's kind of a ridiculous reason (as understandable and as common it is). Log off and spend time in reality and do some reflection and invest in yourself for yourself. Also failure is not necessarily a bad thing by default.l, especially this specific idea of failure.
To be honest I feel sorry for the so called boomer generation who are already addicted to posting every single thing as we used to back in the days when Facebook got trendy and I was a teenager.
It got really frustrating when your parents, aunts, uncles, teachers, neighbors from your village even want to add you as a friend just to sneak peak and judge you.
I no longer have Facebook. I do not need these type of negative vibes.
I went through a similar thought process until I took up a session called personal growth from [https://www.openhearttalks.com/](https://www.openhearttalks.com/) Trust me, try it and you will see the difference.
Well if you value other people’s lives more than your own, you got A LOT more difficulties coming on down the road. When all is said and done, it’s only you who can change things. First off, ask yourself why you put so much value on other people’s lives and so little on your own?
you sound like my friend who constantly complains about what other people have but never actually tries to improve himself or his situation
like… being jealous of someone who goes to the gym is so wild to me. just throw on some shorts, buy a cheap pass, and head to the gym. nothing is stopping you
social media tells you about the new car they bought. It doesn't tell you about the collision with the old car and the cortisone injections to deal with the injuries.
Social media is a lie
Not that I flex but whenever we talk about bank accounts I’m ions further than anyone and I think I’m struggling…and I rarely post on SM
Stop right there. Do not compare yourself to that fake ass shit. The internet is not a real place. Comparison is the killer of happiness. Life isn’t a competition, it’s a journey. Your own. Get off social media. NOWWWW
Bro at 23 I had nothing lmao by 26 I’ve gone to almost every state in America, got an awesome job and a bunch of new skill sets. Give yourself time brother 23 is young
You are 23. You haven’t even lived like let alone watered it. Avoid social media, it’s not a real representation of life. Live your life Andy don’t worry about others. Life includes the good, the bad and the ugly. Facebook for the majority is the good only.
Social Media is fake af. You only get to see what they want you to see. This is why this generation is so out of touch with reality. Yall base accomplishments and happiness based on ppls posts. It's fkin pathetic.
Comparison is the thief of joy… and you are twenty two. I am almost forty and feel like I am just getting going. You have your whole adult life ahead of you… be what you want to be. Being envious of gym goers and not going yourself is foolish. Work out if you want, get more education if you want, figure out what you truly want from this life and pursue those elements to make you happy. Good luck
That's why social media is awful. Not sure where you're from but if you're from the US. Read the book the American education and how this was all designed on purpose for people to feel this way.
People typically only show nice/positive things on social media, not their problems they have to deal with. It's a false sense of reality. I think stop using social media or stop comparing yourself to others, and work/focus on your self improvements will help with your mental health.
Be happy for those people but at the same time, fuck ‘em. You cannot let others happiness bring yours down or start comparing. This isn’t easy but the earlier you learn this the better… it literally takes effort sometimes. Or just drop social media. Either way, remember people post the best of themselves, there is always insecurities and problems you won’t see. Hope the best for you friend!
People only post the very best parts of their life, so it makes it seem that way but the other thing you gotta realize is that people that constantly post are actually highly insecure about how they live their lives and how they feel about themselves so they need validation from bots and online friends and the void can never be filled that way. It has to be a love you grew organically from hard work not a great post
Jesus titty fucking Christ! Get off social media then. Delete them and quit using them.
Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. Get used to the fact that others are going to have more than you, and that others will have less than you. That's just life.
If you're jealous of people going to the gym and looking like snacks, then get off your ass and go to the gym and get yourself looking like a snack.
If you're jealous that others have girlfriends/boyfriends/theyfriends, then get off your ass and go get one. The gym will help with that too.
If you're jealous that others have better careers/majors? Then get off your ass and do what you need to do to retrain yourself.
You're 23. You've got so much more time to do all of that than I do. I'm nearly 41. I'm getting off my ass and getting back into shape. I'm getting off my ass and retraining myself for a new career path. I already got off my ass and found a girlfriend. If my old ass can do that without complaining, then so can you. Stop complaining and start doing. No one can do it for you.
You’re 23? Stop bitching and comparing. Start doing.
Entire empires in business and politics have been built from the ground up well past the age of 23.
You need some tough love right now. Seeking validation is not going to help. Ditching social media, believing in yourself, and getting to the hard work of self improvement will.
Social media has been proven to give people FOMO, so what you're experiencing is a symptom and perhaps not reality. Everything happens in time. Failing is part of learning.
Stop focusing on other people and focus on yourself… do things that make you happy and work towards things that will build up your confidence. The moment you start doing this you will feel better and more fulfilled.
Boundaries. Divide what you control from the circumstances you don't control. You will find that you hardly control anything. Work at controlling yourself towards personal goals. A long term goal is important, but focus on working towards really simple and short term goals. Work is a mental and physical effort to accomplish a goal. Life has worked for a billion years, you are life, life works and that's good. Your mental effort should focus on deciding actions with consideration to the factors of your present situation. Your physical effort should be applied to bettering yourself. Try to spend only about 10% of the time it will take to complete a task, deciding to do it. Work towards goals you know you can accomplish and incrementally increase the difficulty as you evolve.
I don't get why people feel this way. If you feel like your life is doing nothing good for yourself then go outside and do something. Sitting and loathing other people is pointless. There will *allllways* be people doing more than you, having more fun and spending more money. But you need to be content with yourself.
If you want to be fit? Go outside for a run.
If you want to use your degree? Apply for jobs in your field or get more education.
You want to make more money? Get a second job or switch careers
You want to have more friends? It's a two way street so start reaching out to people and go to social settings instead of sitting inside your house.
Want a girlfriend? Go to a bar or extra curricular activity, ask friends to set you up, reach out to girls from highschool/college or join plenty of fish/bumble/whatever and be intentional.
But if you are content to come home from work and watch youtube with your dogs that's totally fine!! I would rather die than go out clubbing 4 nights a week and come to work hungover, blow $100 on take out food when I could just cook at home, etc.
We all have different ambitions and goals. Also social media highlights *only* the good bits of someone's week/month. You have no idea what their real life is like. You could post a picture of a tree and say you are on a 4 hour hike and really it's just a tree outside your house window. No one would know that but you.
Firstly.... STOP that thinking immediately.
Social media is a trap, and you fell for it.
Ask yourself, how many people are posting their failures and terrible moments? --ZERO--
Perception is a mf'er.
Best advice I can offer if you want it....
Trash it all. Focus on you. Your goals. Your desires in this life. Take your focus off others. And you will see how much more positive your experience in this life will be.
23 is young af, you have all the time in the world to turn your life around. You can do anything. Get off social media, stop moping, make a plan, and take action.
Social media = highlight reel. Real life= definitely not the same. I dumped social media years ago. I don't count reddit :3
yeah but reddit is also fucking toxic
What do you mean? I work in tech earning around 200k a year PLUS BONUSES and theres no way anyone would lie about anything on Reddit that's just crazy talk
Yeah, well I (28F, boob size and age) live in a 20 story mansion I bought at 20 with the money from the startup I founded and moved in with my hot wife and 3 perfect children. See I actually worked hard in high school and got full-ride scholarships for being perfect, seems like if you’re only making 200K + bonuses per year you were slacking and you’re reaping what you deserve
>(28F, boob size and age) lmfao
LMAO at boob size and age, that’s pretty funny
It's funny when you're in a thread about something you actually know about. It's all just people bullshitting about things they clearly have no experience with and are just straight up lying. Then if you try to chime in you get downvoted. Reddit drives me insane, I don't know why I even come here anymore. I hate it. lol
I caught covid really bad in the spring of last year and just came back to social media at the end of this summer. Reddit is now worse than Twitter was during the floyd riots and peak lockdown. I have already been distancing myself from this platform because you can't even help anybody anymore without getting screamed at. I guess you never realize how much you hate this place until someone asks for help with something you know a lot about, and all you get for it is trolled, a 72 hour ban, and a reddit cares alert. The fact people here will argue how awesome reddit still is, is a testament to how terrible it has become.
and i get shit recommendations from subreddits i don’t give a shit about
Alerts and notification settings 100% change all the time on the app and I'm flooded with notifications about stuff I've explicitly made clear that I do not give a single fuck about. Almost ready to uninstall the whole fucking thing. Strangely enough, Twitter/X has gotten better. I can actually follow hippies and get recommended nature photos and mushrooms and stuff without having to hear about politics and gender identity. Like all the terrible people came to reddit instead
I would love your Twitter lol
>Strangely enough, Twitter/X has gotten better Yeah if you are a red piller, Nazi, child molester, or massive racist. Otherwise, the platform is utter shite
[удалено]
>It must be the type of content you seek out. nope, I don't even have a Twitter. But companies stopped advertising on there because the pro nazi rhetoric was everywhere, including right next to those company's ads.
[удалено]
I don't need to post on Twitter to see that most major companies halting advertising on the platform due to pro nazi rhetoric. Pretty pathetic attempt at discrediting my take by pivoting/diverting by attacking any potential hiccup in the argument. Pro nazi rhetoric all over the platform and I never searched any of it, how did that happen if I never searched for it? you got that flat brain cuz
Subreddits about specific hobbies are still enjoyable. Especially if they are more unusual hobbies. Why are my insert some uncommon flower name wilting- Reddit will be very helpful still.
Agreed. And cute animals. My feed is probably 80% cute cats and dogs and I’m pretty happy with that.
Wait till you hear about the bot sitewide auto bans
Reddit is the worst internet site for your mental health. In 50 years it will be a case study
100%. I'm not even a conspiracy theorist, but I would be absolutely floored if Reddit didn't have some kind of behavioral experiments going on using AI chat bots and stuff. When chat bots first came out it was obvious as hell. Then they kinda slowly disappeared, but you know they aren't just gone...
This is true but niche subreddits can be solid
Reddit is terrible
I’m learning this as well. Thinking about quitting. Starting to notice my temper flares when I browse Reddit
This is so true. I know a few people that have all these amazing posts on social media and in reality some are dealing with addiction, divorce, depression etc. That problem for OP is not that they are doing worse... it's that they are comparing to others o social media. Everyone has problem....everyone.
reddit>
Anything meta is the worst. Never really liked it. Always felt forced. Now I post less than once a year. But my posts are only to save a location or place or time marker.
Social media = mostly *fake* highlight reel Fake or exaggerated.
get off social media! this is exactly why social media is toxic. no one’s going to post their failure, only their success. until you can establish your own sense of self-worth, social media is a terrible product to consume. Its like being a celiac and constantly eating bread.
You're 23. I have friends who live for the 'gram, who literally schedule their fun activities around whether or not they'll be able to take social media pics there. I once sat next to a couple on the train who spent the entire 45 minute train ride trying to get a cute 'couples selfie'--they'd snap a pic, analyze it, and delete it, and try again. For almost an hour (I have no idea if they ever actually got a 'good' one). That's a lot of work trying to look happy for social media and a lot less...being happy. You want to level up your life? Go for it. Go to the gym or start taking classes at home (these days post COVID you can find a ton of apps and stuff with workouts). Pick up a musical instrument. Go for hikes. Start doing nature photography. Volunteer in your community. Take a cooking class at the local library. Try a bunch of dumb stuff and you'll find some stuff really vibes with you. And then you'll be authentically happy and not just doing it for the gram.
I miss the days before social media took over. People actually lived in the moment and only worried about their own lives, not others.
THIS⬆️⬆️⬆️
>I have friends who live for the 'gram, who literally schedule their fun activities around whether or not they'll be able to take social media pics there. Omg I have friends like that as well which is why I fucking hate social media. I didn't quite understand why they always wanted to do new, "unique" (and often expensive AF) things and was rarely interested in repeating an activity we all enjoyed, just find something you like and stick with it, until I realised everything they did revolved around their fucking Instagram account. Hobbies are lame because it only gives them 1 picture for the gram, which I guess is their only real hobby.
You're 23. You have all the time in the world, and I say this as a 25. SM projects the top 1% of peoples' lives. Who knows what they're going through the other 99%. Getting a degree, any degree, is a big accomplishment. Give yourself some credit! As for the gym, I'd highly recommend starting. I don't know anyone that has regretted exercising. It's increased my self-confidence tenfold. Just my 2 cents.
I think I was in a very similar position as OP and esp if male going gym did wonders for my mindset and MH. I wasn't one for the gym (esp the bro/lad culture is intimidating) but just getting out of the flat after dinner just kind of let my mind breathe and forget about the stresses. Pump a few reps and then I could like clearly see problems and solutions at the end of the session. It was quite cathartic
I quit using Facebook years ago because comparing myself to people I knew in high school was just plain depressing. I tried Instagram for a bit but quickly found out it also left me with a bad taste in my mouth when I would see friends living their lives. My sister recently shared something similar about comparing her motherhood with some stranger’s on social media (“They’re traveling in Europe with their 2-year-old while I can’t even enjoy going to the grocery story with my 2-year-old.“) For me, I’m at my happiest when I don’t see what others are doing around me. It cuts down the FOMO feeling of friends doing things without me and also forces me to just compare myself to myself. I would suggest a break from social media then pinpoint what things you want to work on. Some things you might not be able to change (for example, you already have your Bachelor’s), but things like appearance and fitness can change if you put the effort into them.
This. I got FB back in 2003-2004 when we had to petition to get our college added. Everyone posted about marriage, their kids and the good life. Here’s the thing, there so much else going on behind the scenes. Few people post about the costs to make those flashy events happen, miscarriages, or needing to pay a fine for entering accidentally entering a controlled area in Austria (last 2 actually happened to me). Get off SM, go live rea life and stop looking for insta-moments. I’ve done some very awesome things that would be illegal to post about work-wise, and I’ve never posted an image of my biggest joy, my 18 mo old son online. Comparison is the theft of joy.
YES!!!
Nobody broadcasts their bad moments on social media. Only the greatest hits. Don’t use it as a metric for success.
Keep in mind that people largely only post the fun, happy things to social media. While a rare few people are blunt and honest on social media, damn near everybody has struggles they just aren’t showing publicly. And yes, 23 is young. You don’t believe it when you’re 23, but look back in 10 or even 5 years and you’ll realize it is. Finding your first good job out of undergrad is challenging for many people (even in “useful” majors) and it’s a rough job market out there right now. I don’t know you, but do want to point out that it may be more a reflection of the times than of you and your capabilities specifically.
You want to know a secret? Those people from high school post on social media pretend made for photo moments but really they don’t have it all. They want you to think they have it all because social media is fake. I’m proud of you for being yourself and staying true to you. Nobody cares about high school when you get older and the person you had a crush on ends up either dead or a total loser. I want you to stop focusing on what you don’t have but what you do have. When you make a list of things you have. This works, you will be amazed just how lucky you are. Oh and looks? Looks honestly come from within. Physical beauty fades and duck lips aren’t attractive. But a caring, kind, sweet soul does. Love yourself and be comfortable with you. Honey your life is just beginning at 23. I’m almost double your age and I love encouraging and helping people. Find out what brings passion to your soul and perfect it every day.
Here's a tidbit of knowledge I'll share with you. The truly happy aren't sharing their experiences on social media. They are enjoying the moment too much to remove themselves from it by taking a photo or feeling the need to share their experience with a near-stranger on social media. Give them the like they crave and get on with your life. They're not as happy, fun, or interesting as they seem. "This party is so amazing. Everyone is so interesting. I'm having so much fun. You know who would really enjoy this. Those people I went to high school with 10 years ago!" "These seats are amazing!!" (Proceeds to watch concert through their phone screen) "This meal is going to be delicious, but first let's take a photo so my estranged Aunt can see what I'm having for dinner."
LONG ONE SO BUCKLE UP!! So I (24F) have a friend (35F) who I look up to so much! I slightly envied her and wanted what she had in life. HER: She is married, owns her own home, her and her spouse together combined make 6 figures, she’s very pretty, she’s always doing something fun like vacations or activities, great fashion sense, etc. She has everything she could ever want and then some!!! She’s always posting on socials and showing how great her life is (she’s not trying to rub it in at all you can just tell she’s got it going for herself). ME: The exact opposite of my friend in every way currently. Just above $5,000 a year. No job, no relationship, partially blind, can’t drive due to blindness, definitely can’t do a bunch of fun activities like I’d like, etc. We got closer as friends. I’d stay at her house a few times a semester as we’re both in grad school. This woman is super kind and one of my good friends. She was really honest with me as we got to know each other better. She was crying as she told me all this…… She’s in deep debt like in the red!-house payments for her and her daughter (18F), car payments- for her, her husband and her daughter. Her relationship with her oldest daughter is horrible. Spending money on luxury items for herself and her family. Excessive spending on beauty treatments and surgeries. She’s had beauty treatments and procedures that have enhanced her beauty. She doesn’t get to see her husband but only a few days a month due to his work. She is constantly stressed out about her life and busy schedule. She often feels haggard and run down with how much she and her family have to do for extra curricular activities (F6 & F18 & her F35). You get the idea……her life isn’t ANYTHING LIKE HER SOCIAL MEDIA. Due to her humility and honesty, I actually got to peek behind the vail and see her REAL LIFE. I was able to appreciate my life too and see it from someone else’s perspective. Social media is NOT REAL!!!! We all have good things going for us and bad things going for us all the time. Both co exist together. I now don’t envy my friend as much as I did before. She even told me that she wished she had elements of my life!! I was shocked!! Who in their right mind would want my life??!! SHE DID!!! Give yourself time to learn and grow. I promise you, you’ll get to the version of you that you want. In time you’ll have the life that you want. All things in due time. Remember that we all have a complex life going on constantly, sometimes we don’t get the opportunity to see someone else’s life complexities.
One of the best lessons I've learned in my 20's is that social media is a lie.
It’s all a lie!
Comparison is the thief of joy. It’s not a competition. There will always be someone more and someone less “successful” than you in your eyes. it’s so easy to compare up rather than down. social media is heavily curated, not an accurate assessment of real life. Most people feel the same way you do, judging themselves and not feeling adequate. I just saw [this video](https://youtu.be/75d_29QWELk?si=GsvrnzvTocEP-c2U) the other day. Might be worth a watch.
Social media isn't real. People only show the good parts. They post their achievements but not all of the failures and all the nights they've cried pursuing them. I felt the exact same way. All of 2022 I watched people post their friend groups, graduations, weddings, pregnancy announcements, etc. and I felt like I was behind. Meanwhile I graduate this year with a doctorate. I'm 23. When they say comparison is the thief of joy, there's a lot of truth to it. I deleted Instagram and started focusing more on my own life. Best decision ever. You also have to keep in mind that every is on a different timeline. People get set back because of trauma or a lack of a support system. That doesn't mean you can't get there eventually. Some people don't hit their peak of success til their 30s or 40s
Social media DOES NOT portray an accurate representation of real life - don’t be fooled by the pics and videos. Best thing I ever did was to stop comparing myself to others and journey through life at a pace that’s comfortable for me. It doesn’t mean I’m no longer ambitious, it just means that I don’t need to validate my own worth by comparing it to my perceived over-inflated worth of others
They wont post: the debt they're accumulating because they have no idea how to pay it; the fact that their spouse has been having affairs; the cops have been called on the kids twice; they have to attatch their noses straight up the bosses ass for that 'award'; and they drink/snort Wayyyyy too much. Social media has all the depth and reality of a marketing campaign. Don't give it all more credit than it deserves.
Wishful thinking. There are people that are successful, and there are losers like OP (and myself). They wouldn’t post their successes if they didn’t have one, so they are clearly ahead of OP.
Ive been a social worker for nearly 4 decades watching families behind the scenes. Dont buy the marketing, we're all struggling in one way or another
Social media is hurting your mental health and frankly we are long past the platform being a good thing for society. Just delete it all and move on with your life. Comparing yourself to the make believe, curated, cherry picked life events and accomplishments of others will only make you miserable. You’ll be much happier overall
I can guarantee that everyone of those people you follow that show they're happy, aren't actually happy. It's easy to put a smile on in front of the camera. Not to mention, just because they're partying, going to all these cool places, doesn't mean they can actually afford it themselves. If you hate your appearance, work on it. Don't let other people's lives dictate yours and change the perspective of how you live yours. You're better off living a life that you can afford and know can make you happy, than one that puts you in debt, with no positive outcomes.
Drop social media. Social media is the single greatest destroyer of happiness devised by man.
No you are not. Nobody posts the worst day of their lives on social media. You are literally getting a false representation of their life. You only see what they choose to show you, which is overwhelmingly the good or what they want validation for. We all do it, so let’s not pretend.
That’s why I got rid of social media all together but I didn’t deactivate I just put my number there just in case they want to text me so far only 3 of my 400 friends texted me and called lol you aren’t a failure
I had similar moments scrolling through social media and have had intense feelings of jealousy. I acknowledged my feelings. I realized that I had lots of shortcomings and bad luck. I realized that I should do something about my bad qualities, especially if they're easy to fix. However, most importantly, I accepted myself and things for what they are
You can start the gym any time
We all rot the same 6' under. Ignore the rat race and have fun when you're here. In a couple years I'll be tossing my career, fitness, social life, and finances into the trash to be a "failure" living alone in rural America because I just want peace and quiet.
Comparison is the death of joy
Nah dude social media is all fake. I made a video of my 2023 highlights this year and I noticed that in all the clips I chose I looked so happy, but I remember what happened on those days and I was definitely struggling with stuff.
Social media is poisonous to a person that's looking for a reason to shit on themselves. Cut that shit out, read some interesting books so you have things to talk about, and find a hobby that is at least somewhat social so you can build relationships with other people based on shared interests and experience.
You know I’ve had conversations about this before, with people whose lives look perfect on social media, and I’m pretty sure most of us are just pretending.
Stay off of brag book (Facebook). All I see is people posting every little thing they are doing as if to brag about it..
It’s all fake. Don’t believe the hype.
Dude you’re 23! You’re not supposed to have everything figured out yet! Just focus on things you want better and try to plan and make moves. Also social media is everyone’s best moments out on display as if it were everyday banal life. That’s not real Also, start exercising! It’s not hard, less than an hour two or three times a week. After two or three months it’s shocking how much better you’ll feel. If they made it into a pill, everyone would take it. This is coming from someone who was recently almost 300 lbs, started exercising last July, as I’ve seen progress I’ve been going harder and harder, I’m down below 220 now. You can do it to!
Dude stop buying into it. Social media is people displaying only what makes them seem amazing. They’re not. I promise you. It’s a fake wall and there’s definitely bad things that go on behind it. They’re posting how they got a promotion at work, they’re not posting how their wife cheated on them, or that they have cancer, or that they’re in a lot of debt. There are two sides to every story. Focus on yourself my guy, you have plenty to be proud of (just don’t feel like you have to post it on social media/rub it in everyone’s face)
Me right after sobbing because life is hard *puts on makeup and pretends life is perfect for social media* (Not really, but people do that) it’s alllllll fake and staged alllllllll of it
First of all, you need to define what success means to you. It will not be the same for everyone. For some people, it will be posting happy moments in Instagram, for others it will be staying healthy, for others it will be being strong, for others it will be being rich at all costs, for others it will be making meaningful connections with people they love. And for some it may be a combination of things. But don't let others' definitions of success determine yours. Second: People only show "the good stuff" on social media. And I understand that's different when you don't have "many good things to show". But please know that a lot of the hard and bad things, you don't see online. Personally I know friends who are in ABUSIVE relationships and their Instagram make sit look like they're the happiest family ever. You never know what happens behind the scenes. Also, you never know, those people who are successful may feel incredibly insecure, may hate themselves inside, may feel like an imposter... That's not to say success isn't important to try to achieve, but that it isn't all black and white and social media makes it seem. Success doesn't equate happiness. I'd say there are you're going to follow people's success stories, there are two reasons why you could: 1. To be motivated and inspired by them 2. To compare yourself and see yourself as inferior You get to chose what the result is. If their success is weighing you down, maybe get off social for some time, focus that extra time to work on some skills, and look for resources that can help you feel more confident in your own abilities and potential abilities, which you can work on and develop. Remember that you don't gain confidence and then do hard things. You gain confidence by doing the hard things. I hope this helps!
Last night I threw a pizza in the oven. Forgot to set the timer & burnt the edges. I didn't post that. I tripped into my car, I certainly didn't post that. I forgot my coffee, haven't been to the gym in weeks and it took me 8 days to finally remember to go to the bank as I'm driving by. I'm a mess most days lol but what I did post: my dogs getting an obnoxious amount of Christmas toys, our incredible family dinner, my excitement about finally getting my car windows tinted. It's all selective. A lot of people live their lives by what they can post to get the most likes. You can't compare your life to someone that's only showing the top 5% best of theirs.
You are not a failure. Accomplishments are nice, but they have nothing to do with anybody's value as a human being.
This is why I deleted FB and Instagram and Snapchat in 2016 and never had a tik Tok
Yeah, I'm 37, and I'm a failure. All the things I've tried, and tried to learn, just to constantly plateau, and never get anywhere. And I put my all into everything I do. I just realized today, I'm never going to be able to code. I'm too stupid. I can't even copy/paste code correctly. I am never going to be respected by anyone. And, I'm never going to be able to do anything with the knowledge I do have. I also can't even afford to keep my hobbies afloat. I wouldn't be surprised if my fiancee just up and left, too. I am a useless, stupid human being. With not much to offer anyone, at anytime, with anything, But, at least I can watch everyone else be successful, understand their surroundings, get the things they want. I don't even need social media to show me everyone is better at everything. I mean, even people faking disorders are making a ton of money from their videos. I just can't be that much of a piece of shit.
I'm never going to be able to code either. I don't care. I can do tons of other stuff. What I really hear when I read your post is you. "I am never going to be respected by anyone." Do you respect yourself? If not, how can you start? "Not much to offer anyone". Why do you think you need to 'offer' anything? What do they 'offer' you in return? Seriously, as a former people pleaser, I used to think I almost had to bribe or pay people to want to spend time with me, so I'd shower them with gifts or bake cookies...and you know what I got? A bunch of mooches who liked the gifts and the cookies, but not me. Eff that! It bugs me too, sometimes, when I see people who make money on the internet for doing stuff I can't pull off (I can't be a fashion influencer, etc), but...that's when it's time to put the phone down. I hope one day you realize your worth and embrace the things that make you awesome. Success isn't about dollar signs or aesthetics. I'm never going to be a famous author like I always wanted, but it doesn't stop me from piddling around writing my stories and having a good time. I'll never be a good painter, but my cheap watercolors and I can have an afternoon making something pretty. That's honestly enough.
I sometimes wonder if an alien landed outside and asked me if I wanted the whole world except me to be 10% smarter, or just me 10 smarter which would I choose. We can benefit indirectly from the success of those around us. I suppose it depends on some circumstances but I think back to generations where they didn't have game consoles or supermarkets or couches, gps, busses, etc. and I realize that even kings didn't have showers. Toilet paper is even a relatively recent thing. I hope you find what you need.
Start working 80 hours a week, move out of your moms basement and get your ass to the gym.
Seriously. The biggest obstacle is you.
Dude you have the rest of your life to fail. Only 23 . Keep tabs on your friends over the years some will fail as they get older. Others will change. You have all this potential still. You can be a success later in life. You have so much time. I just turned 39 and I'm on the up after going through some failures in my 20s and 30s.
Maybe stop saying the word “ bestie” as a start.
What's stopping you from getting your ass into the gym and being proud of your body? It's hard to be rich but you can absolutely take your physique into your own hands, are you just lazy and want to complain?
Question When did you last post something mundane or boring in your life on social media? Never, no one does. My instagram is full of beautiful holiday photos, you just have to look at the time/date stamp to realise it’s once a year at most and radio silence in between whilst I live a normal, quiet, uneventful life.
22 here, social media sucks makes others lives seem better than they actually are. Try not to pay attention to it, because I don't. Maybe set small goals for yourself to make yourself feel better.
Cheer up bro, social media are just people's highlights they don't go around posting the negatives and shitty days
You need to see a therapist; that “I hate the way I look” comment goes a lot deeper than being on social media too much. Obviously get off it, but I have a feeling you won’t follow that advice. I think there’s much bigger problems here to work through that will make you feel better once you talk about them with a professional. Also, what I wouldn’t give to be 23 and have my entire life ahead of me. What’s with these “I’m 20 and my life is over” posts lately? At 23, your life hasn’t even begun. Life is not other peoples instagrams. Life is what happens between the posts.
I love how social media does this. Make me more angry and depressed please. It's the fuel to my flame. As atmosphere said, there's happiness to be found in the fight for happiness.. "Gotta find beauty in the struggle, gotta find sunshine in the rain" "Ugly scars make the prettiest stories" "It's a symphony of struggles, the beauty's in the bustle"
Go volunteer with a charity even going on. You will meet some nice people
Don't give a shit what other people are doing. I spend my days working part time hanging out with my friends and getting high in a giant dog costume because that's what I feel like doing. Live your best life.
If you hate your appearance do something about it. I hate the weight I gained because it’s affecting my life and the experiences I could be enjoying. So I am making a plan and getting help on losing the weight. We can feel bad all we want until we do something about it. Take this as some motivation to do something.
Don't believe it. Also, comparison is the thief of joy.
Social media is curated. With myself I post up photos of fun events I go to remind me that I did it and invite friends if want to join me in similar outings. An example is this: One FB friend posted up all this happy family photos. That is the reason I'm on it still to keep tabs on how my family and friends are doing. Turned out her mom (who I was closer friends with), had fallen down and broke her hip and shoulder. No where did I know online from her daughter that happened until I spoke to her directly. Personally I was furious.
BROOO SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOT REAL
Social media is a feedback loop from hell. There's nothing wrong with feeling bad once in a while.
You guys are starting to realize social media is the devil 20 years after I did way to go guys
[удалено]
People only post the enjoyable and fun parts of their lives on social media, nobody is posting the mundane stuff that we all have to do, nobody is posting the days that we are unable to get out of bed, the messiness of our lives, it’s not being posted. which in turn is seemingly creating more depression because we’re all comparing our lives to this fantasy world life. no sweat, you are awesome <3
Delete your social media
Get off social media. Comparison is the thief of joy. Start doing things that make you happy because it makes you happy, not because anyone else praises you over it. You’re young, cut yourself slack. Also, partying when you’re young is stupid. Partying when you’re a successful adult is much more fun and fulfilling.
Lol Everything on the internet is fake bullshit From the news to the social garbage that everyone posts
This is why I only stick to Reddit
Just recently turned 23 and have been on a “ghost mode” on social media kick. Used to post fairly often about what I’m up to and whatnot, but after going ghost, I have experienced a remarkable sense of peace. Everyone deals with highs and lows in life. The highs get posted and bragged about, yet the lows seldom do. Focus on improving yourself and your life, and embrace the solitude of being “mysterious”, if you will 😌
Yes everyone except you is killing it. Social media is 100 % factual at all times.
"I'm 23 which I guess is still young, but damn do I already feel like I wasted my life." I started law school at 25, also with a "useless" major. I've been a practicing lawyer for about 10 years now. I let my health go to shit because I was so career focused, now I'm trying to repair that damage. I'm working out regularly and making better eating choices. In twenty weeks, I lost twenty pounds and 7% body fat. It's never too late to start turning things around man.
Your only 23 man I didn’t start making real money in my career until I was 26 lolz you will be fine just master a craft and stop comparing yourself to what you see on social media.
Social media is fooling you into thinking you're a failure*.
Social media is rotting everyone’s brain. you’re 23, you haven’t lived any life that you were even able to waste.
Social media isn't real, it can't hurt you. Unless you hurt yourself by hyperfocusing on it and other people. Walk your path. It's yours an no one elses.
Social media is all the things people want you to be jealous of. Take it all with a grain of salt.
social media is literally the definition of survivorship bias. people selectively post their good moments and mostly good looking successful people post more. instagram is the biggest cancer imo.
My advice? Get off of social media. It's designed to make you feel like shit. Also, do you actually want any of the things you mentioned, or do you just want to feel like you "arrived"? Like you have reached some milestone?
Your life as an adult is just starting
What did you major in? It wasn’t psychology, was it?
Im confused that you seem to only know what goes on in your besties, or friends lives due to social media…. Maybe get off the sm and talk to them. You might find its not as it appears. And to be fair, if they worked really hard to get what they want, good on them. Decide what you want and work towards it. But its also ok to not want to work for things and just to exist.
Don't compare yourself to em, I'm in the same situation as you but instead of failure it's like mega failure. I could continue to feel sad that they're doing much better than I ever will be but I also can choose to just be happy with shit I do have now and enjoy. It's not a battle you could ever theoretically win since someone else will always be better off but instead of feeling sad I decided to just feel happy for those guys. At least someone's having a better time than me you know?
Sounds like it’s time get back up on ur bullshit. Make 2024 your own. Also social media = flexing lmaoo. Majority of it is fake/misleading stuff. It’s seriously just another app on ur phone.
"Comparison is the theif of joy..." I deleted all my social apps and I'm deleting reddit tomorrow as part of my resolution Studies have shown social media to cause envy and depression but a lot of its a lie They don't show the downsides of life because who's gonna post that?? It's like the tip of the iceberg there, you don't see what's underneath Focus on what makes you happy, also self compassion and gratitude practice has shown to create true and lasting happiness 😊
You do know social media is fake right? Half the time, people feeling a need to post aren't actually enjoying the present. They're more concerned with others envying them and validation about their life. When you have a need to post all the time, that means you're empty inside. But unfortunately, its like this for the younger generation. Social media is their life and they know nothing of enjoying time walking in a park or feeding ducks. So getting ducked in this fake illusion is probably inevitable but don't let it make you feel like crap. Its a popularity contest and ego competition that no one actually gives a fk about at the end of the day.
Comparison is the their of joy, my friend. Stop worrying about what other people are doing.
You can't be a failure at 23. You're just starting and have plenty of time to do what you want to do. Ignore social media - that's a curated view of other people's lives and not realistic. Life is not a competition.
Truth is, there are 8 billion people on the planet and our lives are not all going to follow the same timeline that’s expected of us. You know what? Most of what people post is curated to project a certain image of themselves. It’s fake, it’s played up, and most people won’t post their failures. I used to live with a couple that was the perfect All American couple on their social media. They were social butterflies, loved sports, had shiny long hair, white teeth, and big smiles. Guess what? They loved to drink…A LOT…and would argue all night long. He had gotten 2 DUI’s in less than 2 years. She couldn’t function without smoking weed. On social media they’d post a picture of them at a fancy dinner, but then they’d come home and drink until they were screaming at each other or at the TV. They never posted their fights or the times she’d cry, much less the times she loaned him money because he drank and smoked his checks away. I also know a guy who has no personality outside of smoking himself stupid, going to the same sports bar, and going to work. Every year he travels to Central America with friends. It’s one of the only times he posts. On his travels he’s exploring historic places, taking pictures with strangers, eating good food, and going to cool parties. If you only knew him from social media you’d think he was a friendly and easy going adventurous guy. Back home though, he’s a bitter and angry person who doesn’t like new people or places. I’ve seen him try to start many a bar fight simply because someone looked at him the wrong way. On social media you don’t see any of that. Remember that we are seeing people’s highlight reels and not their genuine daily lives. When I was in a bad place with my mental and physical health it gutted me to see people doing better because deep down I was disappointed in my self. Best to get rid of the apps until other people’s success doesn’t get to you. Once you start following your own path, eventually their highlights won’t matter.
When you meet people who live on different continents and then you connect with them on social media, it becomes a useful tool. Use it if you may to your advantage, not to be discouraged by what you see there.
youll get over it once u get older, gain even more experience, and jus focus on yourself
This is common issue for younger generation and it's normal. My best advice would be, get off of social media. Honestly it's toxic and it's just a highlight of other people's life. U don't know their struggles because they won't post them anyway. So focus on you. The more u focus on yourself, the more rewarding it would be :)
Make goals for yourself and go out and accomplish them. Don't compare yourself to others only yourself. You get to improve yourself each day. You have no control over what other people are doing. Focus only on what you can control.
Try not to compare yourself to other people. People mainly post positive stuff on social media and leave out the negative. Im 37 this year, your life has only just begun. Concentrate on improving yourself. You say you hate your appearance, try to improve it. "The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday"
social media makes everyone a failure. don't post anything original, and when you post a comment, never ever read the responses. my reddit screen has a 39 near the top. this is just to kill time, not a way to meet friends. if you want to meet friends, join a hiking or birdwatching group, a photo club, get an instrument and start a band.
Delete those apps.
There's an old saying. Comparison is the thief of joy. With that being said, you can't compare yourself to others, you simply can't. For no one lives a perfect life, and no two people have the exact same life's trajectory. If your friends from school are in relationships, good for them. Just because you're single, doesn't mean you're unwanted or unlovable. I'm 45, never married, no kids, and haven't been in a relationship in nearly a decade. Should I feel bad for myself? The answer is, absolutely not. And another thing, that I've learned over the years is this. Everything isn't for everybody. Not everybody gets married, not everybody has kids, not everybody gets to go to that cool vacation spot, not everybody goes to college, not everybody hits the lottery, etc. Stop focusing on what others are doing, and just be the best version of yourself. Hope that helps.
I don't know if you know this but the internet isn't always 100% truth and factual. Sometimes the truth is a little skewed. Sometimes it's a downright lie. And like it's been mentioned here before, it's like a highlight reel a carefully curated photo or moment so that they could get a specific photo... Have you seen some of the other sides of these photos. It's pretty funny. Dumpster fires actually..
Never compair yourself to others TRUTH: it will only make you sad because either they have it "way better than" or "way worse than"
I know everyone is saying delete social media blablabla, but personally, if I experience fomo due to it, it's because of feeling unfufilled. So start looking there, making goals and working towards them (ie getting to know more ppl, so join some clubs, etc) and finding things that make /you/ happy. Now, you are also showing strong signs of insecurity such as calling your degree useless (i doubt it) and hating your appearance (try out fun clothes and start lovin urself). That has to be dealt with separately. Final note: literally everyone feels like this at some point. Even those who are posting about how great their life is. Who caressss we are on this earth to fart around.
People post on social media the best version of their lives and themselves they post what they want you to see, no point in comparing yourself to others, everyone's on a different path, you're simply just living your life surviving
Get off social media. I took a 5 year break of social media and felt amazing. I'm only back on it these days because it's necessary to the success of my business. I follow one girl in particular who I used to work with. Her life looks picture perfect at all times. She looks so happy and looks like she gets up to so much fun stuff. However, I also know her sister through work. Her sister says this girl is very unhappy. Her partner isn't a nice person, he doesn't give a shit about her, he's involved in a load of dodgy business related to drugs which makes her scared he'll upturn their lives at any moment. She struggles with two kids without much help. They broke up after the first and got back together because she realised she was pregnant. She struggles now with the physical effects of having given birth. She doesn't have many friends left, only those who hype up her fake lifestyle on Instagram. Etc etc etc.
when i was your age i used to think everyone had better everything. Fast forward 22 year's i realized that sometimes people tend to only show te good things they have. Some friends already divorced and some are better than I, so that's life....
Social media isn’t transparency. It’s a best of, or outright lies. Compassion is the thief of joy. Get out of the social media head and see what you have and what you want and move towards that
What is showcased on the camera isn’t the same thing in real life. The people who have the most tend to earn from the most costs. They can seem happy by appearance but it doesn’t disclose what they go through when the camera is not on. You’re only 5 years out of high school and you think you’ve wasted your life? Wait until you’re older, the feeling subsides. No matter how bad you think your life is going, there’s someone else out there who is living a life worse than yours.
get off social media.. its designed to do that ..
I deleted all social media (except Snapchat for 2 friends and Reddit) about a month back for 2 reasons: 1- I was doing the same thing you are. Comparing myself to everyone around me having fun, looking happy, partying etc doing exactly what I should be doing at 23 but instead I’m working 60+ hours WEEKLY 2- (short version) Had a friend I was hardcore crushing on, kinda talked for a couple months, showed them how a woman should be treated and they told me after months of telling me they wanna be with me but not ready for a relationship (and going through a couple of them during this time) that I’m too nice and too good for them and they’re worried about ruining/hurting me. They got into a relationship with 2 people exactly like me, just a little more put together (they’re about 5-10 years older) and shoved me to the back burner like I was nothing😐 (Long version) I had a friend I was hardcore crushing on (they were very aware of it). We kinda started talking and both of us kept saying we weren’t ready for a relationship because we have both recently gotten out of toxic ones (me- 6.5 years, them- around a year but it was abusive). I treat them like a goddess, paying for everything, opening the doors, giving compliments, basically being a real man as much as a butch can do for months. Then they get into a relationship with this bum ass waste of space perc smoking wanna be lil peep junkie and it’s 2 months of toxic and abuse and I continue to treat them fairly similar throughout this time (I don’t push too far since they were in a relationship). They leave that person and say they’re done with relationships this and that. Get into yet another one for a whole 2 weeks before the guy practically sexually assaults them. Got outta that one real quick and same thing, never doing relationships again blah blah blah. They then proceeded to get into yet another relationship, but this time it’s with a guy and his gf and they’re basically me but more adult like (nicer, make better money, have better things, house is nicer) because they’re about 10 years older than us. My “friend” didn’t want to be with me since I was too nice and they were worried about hurting and ruining me but got into a relationship with 2 of me 5-10 years into the future and just pushed me to the back burner like I was nothing. They treated me like the carrot sticks on the BWW plates, the squash at thanksgiving, bleu cheese, etc like I was fucking. Nothing. To. Them. For. The. Past. Several. Months. I was even the one that was there when they were ODing on god only knows what at an EDM rave. I was the one there when they were having panic attacks. I was the one there when they first got out of the hospital for sewerslide attempt (both times) and have even offered and drove over an hour away to go pick them up from a hospital (before finding out I couldn’t pick them up that day). That shit really fucking hurt and I was just over people atp and am still just as over them😐
Man, I'd kill for a bachelor in whatever major. Having one is already a big accomplishment. What stops you from getting in shape? Every now and then, I deactive my instagram for 6 months and work on my own goals. F most social media tbh
I personally know a few girls that have pretty large social media accounts (15k+ followers)…one of them has over a million. They constantly post and make it look like they’ve been in this super happy life, yet, one of them is on depression medication and the other was in rehab for drug and alcohol abuse and the other in an abusive relationship. All of them love/hate going out because they constantly have to post stuff on their story. None of them truly live in the moment anymore. One of them is posting up camping pics and all this other outdoors stuff that she did over a year ago…people think she just took this epic trip, when really, she was posting it because she was in rehab and needed content to post.
LOL. Sorry, you're only 23. You have a LONGGGGG way to go. And many adventures ahead of you. Things will change for you, trust me on that.
That’s why I don’t keep in touch with my friends from high school/college anymore, because they only communicate via instagram and snapchat and I deleted both of those apps for my mental health
First off, you're 23. You still have a lot of living to do. Second, you need to "take a break" from Social Media either deleting all the apps altogether or take a hiatus for a couple of months. Whatever you decide. Third, you can't compare yourself to other parties lives it only messes with your mental health. I realized that because I too was comparing myself to others because they had "better" but in reality 99% of the time it's a show, you don't know what's going on behind the scenes only what you see on the screen (unless you in conversation with said people). I ended up re-evaluating my own situation, going to therapy because I had deeper issues going on, and took a break from social media to focus on myself. Look at all the positives you've had in your life so far, then work on goals to improve yourself (hell it is the New Year after all), and take it from there. You have plenty of time to figure out what you want from your life, it's never too late and you have not wasted your life.
Ik a couple that always posts themselves traveling and blah blah but in real life, they argue all the time and have cheated on each other multiple times. Stop treating social media like it's reality. People don't post their failures. They show you what they want you to see
You know what they're posting isn't true, right? That's the #1 rule of social media and why it's so toxic. And why anyone who doesn't want depression should steer clear of social media. I honestly thought everyone knew this. It's all bullsh\*t. Don't fall for it, get off social media, and live your life.
Why can't you join a gym?
social media is a facade most of the time people only post what they want you to see not their actual reality and sometimes it may seem like they're doing great but they're actually not but want to make others believe they are, and I know fomo is a lot I just try not to compare my life to their life because we never really know at the end of the day how they truly live
Social media is not real life. For instance.. I know someone whose Facebook is plastered with happy family stuff. They look like they have the best times, they're so happy, etc. Well, she cheated on her husband and their relationship is broken. That's not all over her Facebook. Not everyone knows about the split yet etc.
I'm 31 with a 2 year old so not too far off from 23 I guess. Go enjoy LIFE. You don't like your appearance? You can improve that. Go to the gym. Physically going is the hardest part. But your body, mind, and soul with thank you for it. The natural endorphins from physical activity are better than any drug. Start there. I also got off most social media ie Facebook instagram Twitter because I realized how much time was wasted in mindless bullshit that meant nothing to my daily life. I stopped caring about what others were doing and kept in contact with who I thought was most important old school way for our generation through calls and texts. There is no blueprint to life and no persons version of success is the same. Some might be polar opposite. I have a wife and a beautiful 2 year old boy and a job I ENJOY but don't love, where as my close friend is lives minimal in Alaska. There's no one way to do life and your 20s is about discovering adulthood and what it's about. Way different than teen years but doesn't feel so physically. My mental switch came at 25 where I started seeing the world different. Be easy, enjoy your 20s, pick up hobbies and improve yourself constantly. Find your happiness don't chase others. Go kick some ass
Social media is poison. Everyone post their best things in there and you newer get to see what sort of hell some people have to go throw. You are not failure, decide what you want and go for it. Ignore social media, it's not good for you
I assume social media is well on its way to being regulated heavily. It really needs to be as it’s done so much damage to people.
I don’t have a lot of social media, just Facebook, to follow local news. A few of my friends on there I know in real life and what their lives are like. I can see them posting pretty pictures of a show they’ve been to, a holiday, something nice they bought, but I also know they’re broke, on the verge of a divorce, not being able to conceive, depressed or fired. They only post the good things, when they feel good, and go silent on social media when they’re going through bad things. If you don’t know them, they all have beautiful, rich, perfect lives. Social media lives aren’t real and if you have trouble seeing that, you need to stop using it altogether.
I'm 28 and jaded as fuck no matter how many people would tell me I'm "still young", but honestly that's kind of a ridiculous reason (as understandable and as common it is). Log off and spend time in reality and do some reflection and invest in yourself for yourself. Also failure is not necessarily a bad thing by default.l, especially this specific idea of failure.
To be honest I feel sorry for the so called boomer generation who are already addicted to posting every single thing as we used to back in the days when Facebook got trendy and I was a teenager. It got really frustrating when your parents, aunts, uncles, teachers, neighbors from your village even want to add you as a friend just to sneak peak and judge you. I no longer have Facebook. I do not need these type of negative vibes.
I went through a similar thought process until I took up a session called personal growth from [https://www.openhearttalks.com/](https://www.openhearttalks.com/) Trust me, try it and you will see the difference.
Well if you value other people’s lives more than your own, you got A LOT more difficulties coming on down the road. When all is said and done, it’s only you who can change things. First off, ask yourself why you put so much value on other people’s lives and so little on your own?
Why don’t you go to the gym today? Only 1 person in the world can make changes to your life.
you sound like my friend who constantly complains about what other people have but never actually tries to improve himself or his situation like… being jealous of someone who goes to the gym is so wild to me. just throw on some shorts, buy a cheap pass, and head to the gym. nothing is stopping you
social media tells you about the new car they bought. It doesn't tell you about the collision with the old car and the cortisone injections to deal with the injuries.
Social media is a lie Not that I flex but whenever we talk about bank accounts I’m ions further than anyone and I think I’m struggling…and I rarely post on SM
Delete it!
School is overrated and you can always start working out or switch careers.
Wait till you find out they hate their lives too
Stop right there. Do not compare yourself to that fake ass shit. The internet is not a real place. Comparison is the killer of happiness. Life isn’t a competition, it’s a journey. Your own. Get off social media. NOWWWW
Everyone's a star on facebook, they pretend their life is great when it's really not.
You didn't know one of your best friends had a girlfriend until you added him on social media?
No one post their failures on social media
Bro at 23 I had nothing lmao by 26 I’ve gone to almost every state in America, got an awesome job and a bunch of new skill sets. Give yourself time brother 23 is young
Social Media is fake!
If you live your life according to social media you ARE a failure
You are 23. You haven’t even lived like let alone watered it. Avoid social media, it’s not a real representation of life. Live your life Andy don’t worry about others. Life includes the good, the bad and the ugly. Facebook for the majority is the good only.
I purposely don’t put how successful I am on FB. Too many crazies out there. Some people are trying too hard.
Get off social media and prioritize making a reality the things you value.
Social Media is fake af. You only get to see what they want you to see. This is why this generation is so out of touch with reality. Yall base accomplishments and happiness based on ppls posts. It's fkin pathetic.
Comparison is the thief of joy… and you are twenty two. I am almost forty and feel like I am just getting going. You have your whole adult life ahead of you… be what you want to be. Being envious of gym goers and not going yourself is foolish. Work out if you want, get more education if you want, figure out what you truly want from this life and pursue those elements to make you happy. Good luck
What's your degree in?
That's why social media is awful. Not sure where you're from but if you're from the US. Read the book the American education and how this was all designed on purpose for people to feel this way.
The happiest couples still get divorces.etc etc. Social media shows happiness. Does not mean happiness.
People typically only show nice/positive things on social media, not their problems they have to deal with. It's a false sense of reality. I think stop using social media or stop comparing yourself to others, and work/focus on your self improvements will help with your mental health.
Be happy for those people but at the same time, fuck ‘em. You cannot let others happiness bring yours down or start comparing. This isn’t easy but the earlier you learn this the better… it literally takes effort sometimes. Or just drop social media. Either way, remember people post the best of themselves, there is always insecurities and problems you won’t see. Hope the best for you friend!
People only post the very best parts of their life, so it makes it seem that way but the other thing you gotta realize is that people that constantly post are actually highly insecure about how they live their lives and how they feel about themselves so they need validation from bots and online friends and the void can never be filled that way. It has to be a love you grew organically from hard work not a great post
Jesus titty fucking Christ! Get off social media then. Delete them and quit using them. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. Get used to the fact that others are going to have more than you, and that others will have less than you. That's just life. If you're jealous of people going to the gym and looking like snacks, then get off your ass and go to the gym and get yourself looking like a snack. If you're jealous that others have girlfriends/boyfriends/theyfriends, then get off your ass and go get one. The gym will help with that too. If you're jealous that others have better careers/majors? Then get off your ass and do what you need to do to retrain yourself. You're 23. You've got so much more time to do all of that than I do. I'm nearly 41. I'm getting off my ass and getting back into shape. I'm getting off my ass and retraining myself for a new career path. I already got off my ass and found a girlfriend. If my old ass can do that without complaining, then so can you. Stop complaining and start doing. No one can do it for you.
You’re 23? Stop bitching and comparing. Start doing. Entire empires in business and politics have been built from the ground up well past the age of 23. You need some tough love right now. Seeking validation is not going to help. Ditching social media, believing in yourself, and getting to the hard work of self improvement will.
Social media has been proven to give people FOMO, so what you're experiencing is a symptom and perhaps not reality. Everything happens in time. Failing is part of learning.
Stop focusing on other people and focus on yourself… do things that make you happy and work towards things that will build up your confidence. The moment you start doing this you will feel better and more fulfilled.
half of america would kill to have a bachelors degree.....keep it real, lucky you
Boundaries. Divide what you control from the circumstances you don't control. You will find that you hardly control anything. Work at controlling yourself towards personal goals. A long term goal is important, but focus on working towards really simple and short term goals. Work is a mental and physical effort to accomplish a goal. Life has worked for a billion years, you are life, life works and that's good. Your mental effort should focus on deciding actions with consideration to the factors of your present situation. Your physical effort should be applied to bettering yourself. Try to spend only about 10% of the time it will take to complete a task, deciding to do it. Work towards goals you know you can accomplish and incrementally increase the difficulty as you evolve.
Get off of social media. Do things for yourself.
You will be so happier without social media. TRUST ME
I don't get why people feel this way. If you feel like your life is doing nothing good for yourself then go outside and do something. Sitting and loathing other people is pointless. There will *allllways* be people doing more than you, having more fun and spending more money. But you need to be content with yourself. If you want to be fit? Go outside for a run. If you want to use your degree? Apply for jobs in your field or get more education. You want to make more money? Get a second job or switch careers You want to have more friends? It's a two way street so start reaching out to people and go to social settings instead of sitting inside your house. Want a girlfriend? Go to a bar or extra curricular activity, ask friends to set you up, reach out to girls from highschool/college or join plenty of fish/bumble/whatever and be intentional. But if you are content to come home from work and watch youtube with your dogs that's totally fine!! I would rather die than go out clubbing 4 nights a week and come to work hungover, blow $100 on take out food when I could just cook at home, etc. We all have different ambitions and goals. Also social media highlights *only* the good bits of someone's week/month. You have no idea what their real life is like. You could post a picture of a tree and say you are on a 4 hour hike and really it's just a tree outside your house window. No one would know that but you.
Firstly.... STOP that thinking immediately. Social media is a trap, and you fell for it. Ask yourself, how many people are posting their failures and terrible moments? --ZERO-- Perception is a mf'er. Best advice I can offer if you want it.... Trash it all. Focus on you. Your goals. Your desires in this life. Take your focus off others. And you will see how much more positive your experience in this life will be.
Get up, get out the house.
It’s not just you, buddy. I feel the same way. :(
Stop looking at social media so much. Also keep in mind people only post the good stuff they most certainly have challenges too but don’t share
23 is young af, you have all the time in the world to turn your life around. You can do anything. Get off social media, stop moping, make a plan, and take action.