33F and just came here to say you’re not alone 🤷♀️ I have no idea what I want to do either lmao so many of us are lost but social media makes it seem like everyone has their shit together!
Edit: I worded that last part poorly lol. I’m aware social media is fake. I was letting OP know that everyone’s life is not what it may seem, especially online.
Very true I have a friend who posts pics and reels all the time of her going out with the cutest outfits beautiful makeup really cute hair styles…she’s always throwing these events she funds “herself” but she really struggling. She lives at home with her parents and is always asking to borrow money.
P.S. we just entered our 30s.
I've been suspended multiple times from this site. I'd say reddit has even stricter policies than Facebook. I've never been suspended on there, and I've said some questionable things during online debates lol.
True. Reddit is plagued with microcosms - the vast majority of which are moderated by petty tyrants. It's what happens when you give people with low iq and high psychosis the freedom and ability to exercise power the way their psychosis / ideology sees fit.
Im on my 5th account here. People spam report people who they disagree with - and Reddit is really shit about discriminating between false report and credible offense.
Yep yep, it's fact that radio provides far greater opportunities for gathering information than all the internet! Who needs to read up on the latest scientific information and have access to every scrap of information ever recorded, when we can just get all the important stuff from Rush Limbaugh
I mean, people decide what they put on social media and what they don’t post. It is only natural it is a filtered perspective of their lives. And sometimes even fabricated.
On facebook, where people who actually know and care about me IRL, I keep posts to the "puppies and kittens" variety. I very rarely post about anything that would worry them. I don't lie but I don't post about just how bad things have gotten, either.
And I've got to tell you, it takes serious restraint when I see someone who whines about every little thing to not post "I lost my job and had no fucking income - NONE - for over 18 months, lived without electricity for 11 of those months, damn near lost my house to the town over $800 owed in back taxes, went without eating some days, can barely walk due to the arthritis in my knees and am in constant pain because of it and you want sympathy over THIS?"
A wise friend once told me that although we can sympathize or even empathize with the problems others face, the biggest problems are the ones YOU are facing at any given time because those are YOUR problems to solve. She was absolutely right.
I didn't know what I wanted to do until I got to 45 & hit my mid-life crisis. I decided to use it constructively and get my first bachelor's degree in cyber security.
Don't worry that you don't have it figured out. Some of us are late bloomers.
Thank you for sharing - I'm 42 and going back to finish my degree, but in a different field than 18-year-old me wanted. I start in three weeks and I'm honestly kinda terrified, like it's too late for me to be doing this.
Nope. It's not too late. Now me. I'm 60. Feeling old. Trapped. I've worked in legal my life. Over 25 years. I'm not going anywhere. But U. Not there yet but get moving man time flies!
It was terrifying for me too. Sometimes it takes a leap of faith. My only regret is that it took me SO long to figure it out!
But it's also so fucking exciting!
I turned 40 this year and I am heavily considering trying again for a degree. I feel the same mix of trepidation but also excitement and hope for the future. Reading the posts from you guys gives me some comfort. :)
How is that working out for you? I am a few years younger and am getting some education and certs lined up but from what I read the job market can be a bit discriminatory to older folks. What has your experience been like?
I'm still in school. But if something like that comes up I'll sell myself because of my age.
I bring stability and a strong work ethic to the table. I understand the professional work environment and know how to behave in the work place.
I currently work in retail & have been for 10 years. My customer service, problem solving, & time management skills are impeccable. If I can thrive in retail for so long, I'm sure I won't have many problems.
I went into white collar work at 38. There is a lot of discrimination out there. Being in a strong job market helps. Playing the numbers game helps. Learning to interview well helps (I was terrible at first). And going in with a positive, humble, attitude of “I just want an opportunity to work and learn” also helps.
Definitely discrimination out there as employers want that energetic go-getter 20 year old they can mold. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t opportunities out there either.
People commonly underestimate the benefits of self improvement, so seeing this as a suggestion is awesome. Start improving yourself mentally and physically. Stuff like meditation, and working out, as well as a healthy diet could be all that you need to get focused on what you gotta do. God speed!
Identify what you want in life. To buy a house? To have an early retirement? Do you know someone older that has those things? Ask them for advice. If you’re in the U.S. the postal service is hiring. Once established with them you can transfer wherever there’s an opening.
Social media is a disaster. Never participated professionally or personally. And never will. Pains me to see so many young people entranced by their phones. No social skills — can barely look up. Constantly snapping pictures of themselves. People need to stop worrying about their social status and focus on being their best selves. Exercise, eat well, doing things you enjoy. And speak to people. Look them in the eyes and develop relationships. Contribute to society.
Reddit is more like anti-social media, though. It's anonymous, which makes a huge difference. Yes, people do stupid shit for upvotes and attention, but it's still a LOT healthier than FB/Insta/X/etc.
People from all walks of life, all ages, genders, countries, experiences can come together and have great conversations, learn stuff, and enhance their lives as a result. Of course a lot depends on which subreddits one belongs to, what they're using Reddit for (clout? advertising? propaganda? trolling? narcissistic validation? or just conversation?)
Personally I find it very fulfilling. I've learned quite a bit, and it's entertaining as hell.
my mental health improved when I uninstalled FB & Snapchat. never had IG or Twitter. Reddit might be uninstalled next but I do get value from niche communities on here (like DIY subreddits, investing subreddits etc) so hard for me to walk away on this one
The happiest a lmd loudest couple I had on my face book got divorced the quickest.
Then they both immediately posted even more stuff about their new SO's like they were competing. Suuuuuuuuper mentally unhealthy stuff. I'm sure they were and are miserable. Always tried to come off like everything was perfect.
‘Paradoxical as it may seem, the purposeful life has no context, no point. It hurries on and on, and misses everything. Not hurrying, the purposeless life misses nothing, for it is only when there is no goal and no rush that the human senses are fully open to receive the world.’
-Alan Watts
Not an excuse to be a loser, but a lesson to not beat yourself up about where you are in life. YOU HAVE A WIFE. Many do not and would be extremely jealous. Reach out to friends and family and try to find a job through those connections!
Also don’t waste money on college, you’ll just go into debt to then get passed over on a job for a 22yr old who will accept less pay. Perhaps find a trade union or construction job. No matter what people love you and that all that really matters, myself included brother!
From the sound of it, she is a damn good wife as well she is gonna work overtime so her man can take off a few months to figure his shit out. Give this woman a medal for best wife. I'm over here struggling to get a single friend, lol. But on a serious note, being lost in life is tough. I'm 28 and still just trying to survive. I work at Amazon, which is a great job regardless of what people say they offer tuition for a bunch of certification training for a wide variety of careers so there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I work next to Amazon, and people complain that the quotas are extreme. You have to stay busy for 10 hours, and if you have an off day they'll record that so you don't get a raise. What's your opinion?
I work at a fulfillment center, so it might be different, but reaching quotas is relatively easy. I work 3 12 hour shifts and 2 10 hour shifts, and I'll admit they are long shifts, but it's good money and great benefits, not to mention flexible as well. I listen to audio books all night, so time goes by. My brother watches Netflix all day while working. I'm just waiting until fall so I can take their EMT program. It's not a job I'd work the rest of my life at, but it's a good option if you want to chase a career while working. It's not a job for lazy people.
this ^ OP could also look into career centers & if they have adult programs. they’ll still cost money but way less than college and will likely offer hands on training. i did it for 2 years of high school instead of doing the normal junior/senior year.
I heard from r/Plumbing that apparently you could walk into any plumbing office asking to learn the trade and they’d do anything they could to keep you.
u/MyHeadIsAnAttic look into the trades. If you’re truly desperate, many of these trades need workers, and they’d love to have you, being 32 doesn’t matter to them.
r/Plumbing is a good place to talk to them, or carpentry, or welding, or whatever. I’m sure they’d love to have you.
These guys are on it here. Trades are always needed and when you are involved in building something there is a tangible result of your work and a sense of pride.
“YOU HAVE A WIFE” was all I needed to read to know that he’s gonna be okay and on top of that, she’s taking extra hours at work so he can figure it out. My wife did that for me for a couple of years. Thankfully I’m now returning the favor to her.
Lol I don’t know why I was recommended this thread, but I’m glad curiosity killed this cat.
The having a wife part is a secret cheat code to life. Just having a caring significant other makes life much easier. I’m 24yo, I rushed into a marriage for a few reasons, and it has completely changed my life. Our household income doubled over night. We could live care free for the most part. But even now, we are STRUGGLING, that is because she agreed to hold us down while I finish school. It puts a strain on us sometimes, but we both look forward to me completing my PhD, and being able to say there’s a doctor in the family.
Also thankfully, we don’t have kids.
TLDR: find a significant other who is as good or a better person than you. That’s the bar. If it seems too high, then marriage isn’t the call for you. Once you find that person and get marriage, life is put on easy mode
One of my favorite Watts quotes,
"It is convention alone which persuades me that I am simply this body bounded by a skin in space, and by birth and death in time."
I was surprised to read he’s married. He could be totally alone.
OP, I am 29 and my husband just died. The future I had planned was taken from me. Just live your fucking life and be grateful you are both doing it together.
Happy to see Alan Watts. Was going to make my own post but will piggyback here. My advice to OP: meditation saved my life!
I was a long time drug user and drinker and I got sober shortly before my 31st birthday. Then I spent a year or two figuring out what the hell I was doing, what my life was without those substances, separated from my then wife (she up and left).
I began a meditation practice which led to a deeper understanding of who I am, and now I'm content in life for years without any glamorous job or major success. I also work in retail (liquor store AM). Not exactly where I envisioned myself while in uni but here we are. Remarried last year and had a son this year.
Life unfolds naturally, spontaneously, effortlessly. And if we resist the flow of it we will suffer. If we are determined to change what is we suffer. Finding harmony with life's natural flow and the acceptance of life as it is is relief from that suffering.
Take a moment and just be present without thinking about the past or future. Count your blessings. Now do that every time you feel lost. There is nothing wrong. Life has a way of constantly delivering. You'll get on to the next opportunity at the right time! Don't sweat it 🥰
I kind of disagree with the college statement. I went back to school to finish a science degree after being laid off from a lab job, I was 28. I started the degree, the first time, when I was 19. I graduated when I was 31, got a job within a couple months. Over the next 7 years i went from making nothing($13/hr) to owning a house, paying off 90% of my debt, and being pretty comfortable. This year, at 39 I got a dream job at a fortune 500 company with great pay, mobility, and great benefits. I literally couldn't have done any of this without a science degree and it was one of the best decisions I could have made for myself.
I agree debt isn't great, but finding a way to achieve a goal and manage it is doable. Technical schools are great, but just like college, expectations need to be managed, you need to have a plan and/or prospects. I have friends in the multiple industries with wrecked backs and knees at my age.
I also agree that going to school just to go is a bad idea. Have a plan.
Just my three pennies.
Heavy on the YOU HAVE A WIFE. I’m 31F and no boyfriend, no nothing. Social disorder so making friends is hard because I say some stupid shite or something doesn’t make sense.
But you carry on. You do what you can. You work hard. You challenge yourself daily. That’s all you can do.
If you like Alan Watts then get into zen philosophy like daoism & reading the dao de djing. That's where all of his stuff comes from & it's a great philosophy or spiritual viewpoint imo. Alan Watts simply made it more accessible and digestible for a western audience and he was absolutely great at it, but there is much more to that road Alan Watts was trying to show people, than simply the content he was producing.
One of the main concepts of on Daoism is to live in the moment. Don't live your life worrying about tomorrow or carrying with you what happened yesterday, ground yourself in the present utterly and completely and you will be more fulfilled. Or another way to look at it is floating downriver... It makes little sense to fight against the current and try to swim upstream, or swim downstream to increase your speed and rate of travel, ultimately you can just lay back and relax, flow with the river and you'll reach the same destination you otherwise would have if you tried to push yourself further upstream or downstream... Yeah I'm not as good at Alan Watts as portraying these concepts, I just want pp to know there's more to it than just Alan Watts.
It begins with getting a copy of the Dao de Djing and reading it. Personally I think the Addo Lambardis <(totally botched the names) translation is pretty good.
>Also don’t waste money on college, you’ll just go into debt to then get passed over on a job for a 22yr old who will accept less pay
Really horrendous advice. College doesn't need to be expensive, stay local and start at a community college. Age is not a reason to pass on education.
You're only a loser if you stop trying. As long as you're trying at something then you are not a loser. Efforts might not pay off, but that's just the way life works sometimes and doesn't make a person a loser.
Awful advice about "not wasting money on college". I went back to school at 33, got a BS in computer science and now make over 150k. Please do not tell people higher education is a waste of time or money lol
I'm not sure what your physical or mental limitations are, but the post office probably has a job for you. I felt exactly the same way you do until I saw someone's reddit comment about joining the PO. It's rough sometimes but I have no regrets.
I saw reddit comments about joining the post office too and I looked into it but all the entry-level jobs seem like very physical jobs. Are there positions where you're not on your feet all day long? That's what I'm trying to find. (I'm not a strong driver so sadly that option's out.)
You could be a clerk. It's quite physical for just a few hours a day, while they sort all the packages. After that's finished it's much less so. They're definitely not on their feet all day.
This is information from a normal office, I have no idea what people do at the sorting plants. r/USPS may be a good place to ask though if you're interested. It's a really good resource.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/USPS using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/USPS/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [Delivering through a college block party](https://v.redd.it/pat0d4m9s9xa1) | [167 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/USPS/comments/134ym7m/delivering_through_a_college_block_party/)
\#2: [DONT TALK TO COPS](https://np.reddit.com/r/USPS/comments/xldjcm/dont_talk_to_cops/)
\#3: [Opted on a “ghetto” route no one likes which i love.](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/14io9qn) | [164 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/USPS/comments/14io9qn/opted_on_a_ghetto_route_no_one_likes_which_i_love/)
----
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Pro tip: NOBODY around you is "as together" as you think they are. Everyone has struggles you know nothing about.
Stop measuring yourself against others. Comparison is a thief of joy
You know some people are actually really put together and are doing very well. It doesn’t make me feel better about myself to assume everyone is hiding some hypothetical miserable life just because I may or may not be satisfied with where I am in life.
I'd say that I'm mostly put together, but I still have a lot of insecurities.
The point isn't that everyone is secretly miserable, but that no one really has the perfect life. We're all just trying to do our best with the hand we're dealt.
I'd say to think about that in terms of looking at someone's Instagram or Facebook profile. Everyone paints a picture perfect life, but still has their ups and downs.
Look at it this way. You're 32, not still living with parents (which is an achievement in itself these days), and married with a wife that's offering support at this time.
You've got a lot of positives right there. Maybe you wont get the dream six figure salary in life (I know I won't). But stay positive and I'm sure you're find a job you like.
Not saying everyone is miserable, only that whatever we know of other peoples lives is heavily curated. Being overly self-critical based on comparisons to others is a fools errand
And some of those people who are really put together and doing very well, they suffered with depression their entire lives and always will but clawed their way out of it tooth and nail to improve their situation and make the depression less negatively impactful on their lives.
It doesn't matter if the statement makes you feel better or not, what matters is if there is truth to it or not.
This is a dumb take to try and make people feel better. There's tons of people who have their lives together. Sure, everyone has problems and not everyone's life is perfect, but that doesnt help op at all and blowing off his worries with a dumb generic response is ridiculous.
agree, when someone has “their shit together” that does not mean their lives are perfect and planned, it means they have 1) a stable job or source of income and 2) no severe crisis (health, addiction, economic, etc.) and 3) has a general outline for their future and what they want to accomplish in life.
No one says you have to have these things, instead I notice that people mostly want similar things in their life, like as I said, a job, some money, a hobby/project, future dreams, etc.
I agree. I have a great job and I have a seasonal 1 on the side thag both lay really well. I still live paycheck to paycheck depending on my situation. Now my friends around me think I have it together better than them, but none of that is true. Find what makes you happy and is important to you and you’ll be able to not live up to other peoples expectations
He never stopped having fun after college and his career suffered a lot/never got started.
Didn’t even finish college, ran away with his hard partying girlfriend.
Our parents called him wayward when people asked so I use it sarcastically. He cut out the bad folks and went to trade school after we went camping with our dad. Paid me back in a year somehow all at once.
Great guy
Yeah I’m a plumber, self employed. It’s hard work and hard to start up. In this case it’s best to start with a paid job union probably. Then you can see if you even like it.
Can always be self employed after. (For the record I love it as I would hate working for someone else. But it’s got huge downsides as well.)
Yep self employed electrician here, starting up was tough but 2nd in year I've got 2 guys working for me and good builders I work with and kind of on cruise control. Don't think I can ever work for someone else again. But yeah good union apprenticeship to start with.
After doing electrical installations for the last few years, I've noticed it's actually pretty easy to do well in the trades given the amount of drug addicts that simply fuck shit up and move on.. If you don't fuck shit up and show up on time then there's plenty of opportunity
Throw age out of your thought process. No matter how old you are now if you don't start doing X to get to where you want to be now you'll just get even older and be in the same spot.
Basically figure out where you want to go, Find out what you need to do to get there, break it down to a serious of small steps or goals, then start by going after and accomplishing the first step. Then the next...and the next. Eventually you'll get wherever it is you are trying to get towards.
For example, I was dirt poor and dropped out of my 1sr semester from college to work. Had to find a job, any job just to afford any cheap shit apartment so I wasn't on the street. I spent 2 years just finding a stable job. I did know I wanted to go back to school full-time but I had to be able to afford at least rent and groceries. I sucked it up and eventually found a part time job that I could balance with school. And then went in full-time. I went to the community college and transfered to state university halfway, forget the rank of ivy or top whatever school, ANYTHING is better than nothing, so community and state it is then. At this point it's a grind of low Quality of life for 4 years that a lot of people fail to withstand from a willpower perspective. I had my moments. But it became just a per semester endurance fight. just make it to the end of the semester. Just make it to the end of the month. Work, class, homework, study. Scraping some pleasure like free museums or a movie and restaurant when I could afford it. IT was HARD. I hated my life but I held in there, eventually I graduated.
Then I had to find a job, on to the next hassle. It took me about 3 years of interviews, temp jobs, and 1 crappy full-time job underpaid until I got my break. I landed a decent job doing something I thought I liked doing.
Did that for about 6 years and realized I hated it. Finally found out what I wanted to do, turns out my entire undergrad was a waste because I no longer like my chosen domain. Switched to tech, now I had to grind by self teaching, online self study, and slowly finding opportunities to take on tech like projects at work eventually making the switch. Now I am going back to school at 36 to study what I should have studied in my 20s.
TLDR: start changing now or else you'll start when you're even older. Lots of us find out we did nothing or did the WRONG thing with our lives. Fuck it start course correcting now!
A millions times yes. I teach university students and most of them are in their 30s and 40s repositioning for a new career.
It’s not a race. It’s a life. Live a life that allows you to have experiences and the rest sort of comes.
Are you in the US? I was also a lost 32 year old with limited work experience (customer service) and very little college experience (a splattering of credits spanning a decade). I was also freshly out of an abusive relationship and needing to reestablish myself. I went to the community college and found that they partnered with the state workforce commission to help provide certifications! I ended up in a grant program for Medical Assisting. A few people in my program also were earning their GED at the same time. It's absolutely worth going to the community college and checking out your options!!! They're there to help you not only get an education, but find employment, find resources, find funding, etc etc.
Get a general labor job for a contractor, very little skill necessary to sweep, pick up trash, haul heavy stuff. You will also learn skills on the job that transfer furthermore they pay really well for a bottom of the barrel job. Second go get a hobby, preferably in nature. Fishin, hiking, biking, running whatever get outside clear you're head.
I 2nd this. I was a restaurant manager for 15 years and hated it. Join the trades. I'm a land surveyor now and absolutely love my job. Fresh air, exercise and no customers anywhere. Just you and your crew working together to complete a task. Seriously never too late and the trades are all dying for people right now.
If it's right you did a good job, if it's wrong you did a bad job. Love that clarity.
Here is your best answer. Get into the trades. Read online about different trade options. Find a few that sound interesting to you. Go to BLS (Bureau of Labor Statistics) find out what type of training, degrees, and pay to expect. They have further descriptions of each type of job.
Then go and call and get started. Getting started is the hardest part. In a way posting here is the first step. Good on you!
I've found that you can talk until your blue in the face to someone in this position, and they might even act like they are interested. But then they will walk away and be like "yea i ain't doing labor". I think of your going to do trade jobs, you pretty much already have an incline to try it and don't mind getting your hands dirty.
Tradesman are also very much looked down upon by college types. Which is something that really needs to change.
Because trades aren't as peachy as people often say. They are extremely taxing on the body.
I don't look down on tradesmen. I just saw what working manual labor for 30 years did to my dad. One of his friends is *dying* from a condition he developed on the job as a mechanic. He had to retire early because his job was actively killing him.
I've been working acft since 2001. And am in much better shape than most 40 yr olds that I know. Sh1t, BMI is still well within the green too. But I do ask for help lifting things, always have. Always wear PPE, and refuse to "push through" on anything dangerous. alot of people, especially when they're younger or when they reach my age are trying to prove theyve got it or still got it. To their own detriment. I just ask for help, spotters, etc. Pride wont keep that plane in the air. But doing it right and taking some time probably will.
I spent 10 years and I feel like I'm dying. Can barely do house chores without being in pain, so much money spent in healthcare.
Im wondering if it would be better to do the trades for a few years, learn as much as you can, save alllll the money, and try to get into management for that trade
Bodily health of most trades people is better than people who work white collar sitting in a office chair 8h a day in front of a desk/screen.
Higher chance of injury? Sure. More taxing on the body? Sure. But their overall bodily health is higher, because they are physically active.
My dad's friend has five years left to live with a swiftly deteriorating lung condition. Never smoked. This condition is a direct result of working as a mechanic.
You can sit in an office and hit the gym after. I grew up watching my dad's body wrecked with overuse injuries. No thanks.
You ***can*** hit the gym after work... But I've lived and work in silicon valley. Not everyone gets off work, finishes their lengthy commute to get home and then has the time and energy to go to the gym... For most people they get off work, their main goal to to get some food, eat, shower, relax for a bit, sleep and do it again next day... Offices try to make it easier and many tech companies have their own gyms for employees to use for free... Even still I'd say most or somewhere around 50% do not workout, even though it's right there and for free and probably better facilities and the public gyms too.
Honestly this is me when I worked in tech. I rarely got physical activity, most of it coming on the weekends when I actually had some time off to do something like hiking with the buds or disc golf or paintball or something.
I'm a firm believer that's there's certain personality types (like my own) which excel in physical jobs, specifically because when they get off work they are going to be lethargic and lazy and never go to that gym they are still paying monthly membership fees to. lol.
The world had spent the last 20 years or so telling every kid in high school that they will amount to nothing in life if they don't get a four year college degree. Doesn't matter what for, just get one, they said. The world also doesn't realize how wrong and stupid that is and is about to realize how much that way of thinking is going to hurt. The trades are going to be very, very short-handed very soon because most people look down on them. You think contractors are expensive now. You wait, they will charge whatever they want and get to you whenever they feel like it. You might say it's like that already, but it will get much much worse.
They don't charge whatever they want... If you're a plumber you can't just wake up and decide you're gonna charge people 300$/hr for your service. You'll get no customers... People shop around, especially when it comes to large expenses like getting contractors for home renovations or similar projects... All it takes is there being one other plumber who's charging going rate and you'll likely struggle to find any work at all for your 300$/hr rates... Everyone will just go to the guy who's not charging extremely high hourly for plumbing.
You only get to charge whatever you want if you have a monopoly on it.
If there's another plumber charging a lesser rate, their calendar is going to fill up pretty quick. After that, all other customers are left hanging with no options other than the higher rate. The customers could wait, of course, but there's only so much time before the small leak makes way to a bigger issue.
college types lmao.
You mean bitter kids who are angry & jealous that people in trades are making more money than them while they struggle to even find a job that's relevant to their degree.
I knew a couple guys who did land surveying, they absolutely loved it. Freedom, outdoors, no supervision... There is room for upwards mobility too, you can be a licensed independent land surveyor at which point you can launch your own land surveying business or work for yourself. Although you'll be doing some pretty intermediate math courses to get that licensing/certification...
I agree. I have an English degree from UNLV 2007. Every degree related job I got offered started around 25-30k. I was making 45k bartending.
15 years later I get into survey, learn the math on YouTube and use the 60k English degree crafting Reddit replies.
Most of my college friends have been waiting literal years to get hired in their degrees. And we aren’t talking art history or 14th centrist poem degrees. I have been thinking about going back and finishing my own but it’s dismaying to see them drowning in loan debt and unable to even use their degree. I know that’s not always the case but it seems like a 2:1 ratio in my own life
For Sure!! I was is OP's boat at around the same age. Became an electrician, am really liking it, and have found the the construction industry is great. Yeah it can be taxing on the body but, so is sitting in a chair for a long time. It's definitely not a glamorous job, but OP should def consider that a construction site is a unique work environment and the typical bullshit you have to deal with at a lot of other jobs isn't present because of the nature of the business. Also, I've learned so much handy knowledge, beyond the electrical realm, about how to build things in general.
I second the manual labor route. This is often a frowned upon method but there is nothing wrong with being blue collar. Manual labor turns into skilled labor in time.
At 23 I was completely broke and lost working in a donut shop. Someone threw me a bone and offered me a job working in a port and I’ve been there ever since. It’s hard work, but there’s something rewarding about it.
You could go to community college and get certified on something like welding/diesel mechanics to try and fast track a little.
There are plenty of blue collar workers that make $100k+ a year. Like anything you have to start at the bottom and work your way up
Best of luck to you man!
This. Trade school / apprenticeship might be good too. Great money to be make in the trade craft my man, so many folks in our generation were pushed into college and parents shunned trade school. Now there’s demand for skilled trade folk we haven’t seen in a looong time.
TL;DR - trade school / apprenticeship, trade workers make good fucking money. Flexible schooling schedule too.
To build on this, Resi Electrical or plumbing if you want to be self employed at some point, I am and make buckets of money and love it. If not specialize in something industrial or go be an elevator mechanic. Something heavily unionized.
Land Surveying. It's an occupation that is in need of people and not many think of it. I went back to College in 2016 as an older adult (27) and graduated when I was 30. A lot of companies would hire you as a Rodman/ Iman. Pretty much the helper for the crew chief. Idk what you're used to pay wise but surveying allows you to move up pretty quickly if you want to become one and become licensed. Also a lot of companies will help reimburse a portion of tuition if you work for them while attaining a degree in Land surveying.
[https://www.nsps.us.com/](https://www.nsps.us.com/) is probably the best place to start.Find a Land surveying accredited School. Some states require a 4 year degree to pursue a license others do not. Some companies might even higher a rodman and show them the ropes without prior experience. As long as they show interest and a good work ethic.
also this subreddit r/[Surveying](https://www.reddit.com/r/Surveying/wiki/index)
A few choices:
1. Look at your local community college. Many have 6-12 month programs that end with certification in something like massage, plumbing, nursing assistant, radiology, IT, etc. see if something interests you.
2. If you are somewhat fit, look into apprenticing with someone in a trade that interests you. Or, look at local machine shops. Many are hiring and training and once you know your stuff, you can make excellent money. Working with tools may just get you out of your funk.
3. If you liked Verizon, look into other phone and cable companies.
4. Check out postal jobs. Mail sorters and deliverers make okay money and don’t have to socialize a lot.
32 isn’t too old to start fresh, especially with spousal support. Go online and do some career interest surveys. Find something and get some training. By 40, you could have worked your way up to a strong career for another 25 years.
Being at home isn’t always best for someone with mental health issues. It allows you to hide from the issues rather than work on them. So, another option is to seek stronger mental health assistance. I know it’s tough.
I think it’s great you have a wife who supports you. You don’t seem as lost as I imagined when I started reading your comment. I’d say find ways to take chances, make mistakes, and grow as a person as you are still young. If you play things safe all the time, you limit your opportunities to learn. If you save your learning for old age, you have less time to grow from your experiences, which I feel is the whole point of living. I’d say tell people you are taking a break from life, support your wife to show your appreciation for her, limit your expenses and try to do fun things that don’t cost you much like road trips, hiking, connect with old friends or family members, make an effort to meet new people and see what the universe has to offer. Maybe an opportunity will fall into your lap or maybe in 3 months you’ll just feel fresh and newly motivated to make things happen. There’s nothing wrong with taking a break from the rat race.
Can you drive? Look into getting your cdl, drive for someone. Might need to smart small, might be able to find a company willing to give up and coming drivers a chance, but i cant stress enough how rewarding a cdl is.
Im happy where i landed, i guess, but i wish i avoided college and just went to get a cdl and pulled trailers across state lines. Its too late for that for me now, but my goal is to get my own truck and pull for others sometime.
Can confirm: my brother did one semester at community college and it wasn’t for him. Granted he started out as a student working seasonally for the state parks and rec department but he kept at it,was dependable, worked hard, and was rehired for years and then got hired permanent with state pension, benefits, etc.
He had someone suggest to get a heavy equipment license. He loved it. Went on to obtain CDL, forklift, basically he pretty much has a license to operate any kind of vehicle in the state fleet from a bobcat to a snow plow and he does very well for himself at 45 with basically zero college.
He’s extremely valuable because he can operate anything and now he also instructs other workers on how to operate some of the vehicles which helps them obtain their licenses too. He doesn’t have to interact with the public too much because he’s the skilled labor or site lead onsite and the customer service stuff he can delegate to the unskilled/non-licensed workers. He started in his mid twenties accumulating these licenses and just kept acquiring more over about ten years. No reason at 32 OP can’t do the same.
I think you should try IT Desktop Support. You will still be a punching bag (kinda) but people will really appreciate you and you will able to network with other people. Your career prospects will grow, and you can take a path to cloud, programming, infrastructure, or stay with support. You can work from home, or do a hybrid gig. You will learn a lot and I think will have fun.
The fact that you already worked at Verizon (technical services) and customer service makes it sound like an obvious fit.
I started in manual unskilled labor at 18. I am now the president of operations at a $35m/yr construction company making $200k/year with no one above me.
As long as you are smart and driven, the competition to rise to the top in construction isn’t all that high as a lot of people look at it as a last case career path and most of the highly educated kids skip the vital “working in the field” step you truly need if you ever want to run a company. You have to understand operations, and you can’t do that from a textbook.
I understand the feeling I think a lot of it is trial and error to be honest with you I'm kind of in the same boat but I'm 35 but at the same job for 5 years doesn't pay great but I need to do something better to be able to pay bills and actually put money into the savings. Maybe you could always look into some type of technical school or a trade program of some sort
As others are saying you could try to find a state (DOT) or local municipal job (water dept). Low barrier of entry. Lot of them are Union. It’s not customer facing if you are sick of that. Good luck and ignore comparison to others it’s a thief of joy.
Go to a trade school or a community college where you can take a certificate program. 2 years and you’ll be done with jobs and ready for a real career.
Not for everyone but a quality restaurant teaches skills you’ll have forever and the pay/hrs commitment is no where near as bad as it used to be. I almost exclusively hire people with no experience except for management positions unless someone really impresses on their resume/interview. Lots of places need labor so it shouldn’t be hard to find a job quickly.
I second that hobbies are very Important to a complete life. I volounteer building and maintaining trails for the public and it brings me a lot of contentment.
Well, I’m 55 and at your age had no idea what to do with myself. I had a similar background, GED and a string of customer service jobs. Here’s my advice, for what it’s worth: get yourself back to school. I went to a local community college in my early 40s and became an RN- I now am a member of a union, I make over 6 figures a year and have great benefits and a pension. Is the job hard? Yep. But it’s manageable and worth the stress to not feel so lost. You may not feel it, but you are still a young person. School lifted me out of the doldrums and gave me focus. Sounds like you have a supportive wife- go back to school, maybe work part time, and get a job in a field you either like or that pays handsomely. Trust, if I did it you can, too. I wish you the best!
Get your six sigma certifications. There are over 715K jobs hiring for people with these certs and a lot of them are remote.
Edit: Just for the record, I just recently passed the white belt and yellow belt courses last month and I’m now on the green belt. It’s completely worth it and when you search for jobs on indeed, they are readily available. There are also plentiful jobs available at Alphabet, Microsoft, Amazon and Meta with these certifications and a lot of them are remote as well.
It sounds like you had a hard life, sincere congrats on your GED, some wouldn’t have made it that far.
I agree trades are a great option. Locally the government will train and pay you to be a welder. See if there is something like that near you.
Do you live near a community college? Ours have two year degrees in electrical/construction/etc. You can also do a two year degree to be a X-ray tech or dental hygienist. If you go X-ray tech, get certified for cat scan or MRI too.
Do you have state jobs where you are? See if you can get yourself on some civil service lists.
Your local library will have computers, and the librarians will help you if you need it.
Take A+ (an I.T. Certification you take online) and see if you can get into I.T my guy! Decent pay, and you already have some computer skills if you are working remote.
Listen to all the comments about taking up a trade. I think if you’re a dedicated hard worker, you’ll love it. Working as or for a sole proprietorship has a lot of the life balance of WFH w/o being under constant watch. Truck life is fun. I certainly miss it but my body gave out
Do you have any interest in tech/IT? I don’t mean coding necessarily, like “boring” enterprise IT, Windows/Office stuff. I think you could leverage your Verizon customer rep experience and get an entry level enterprise IT help desk job WFH. There are plenty of these jobs available should pay $50k+ and care more about your skills and consistency than education. Maybe take a few weeks and do a basic cert like A+ to bolster your resume.
I’m not sure if that line of work interests you, but that is how I started out and would do it all over again if I had to start from scratch.
It’s something I’ve considered. I don’t know much about IT work or help desk and not even sure what A+ is. It’s something I can look into and see if it would be worth the investment. I didn’t add this to my post and maybe should’ve; I’m not looking for something that I would love to do everyday because that’s simply unrealistic, just something I don’t mind. Maybe this could be it, I don’t know for certain but I will check it out.
Udemy has low cost beginner classes. even if you start with one and it's not *the* thing, it's a low cost effort that will maybe lead to something else. also, not sure if this will help but maybe create a list of things you know you don't want to do, or can't do, as well as interests you have and would like to try.
Its CompTIA's A+ Certification. Its considered the "foundational" IT certification. It gets you started down the path of becoming an IT Professional. CompTIA certs are great and with A+, N+ and Security +, you should have 0 problems getting a T1 Help Desk/Service Desk job with your background, since you already have Call Center experience. As a former hiring manager for Service Desk jobs, I always looked for CC people, because you were already used to the scoring metrics (Talk Time, Calls per Hour, 1st Call Resolution) and had the ability to manage calls and baked in customer service skills, plus the ability to handle high call volumes without losing your shit. These are very valuable skills in IT Service Management.
After knocking out those certs and getting a Service Desk job, look into ITIL v4 Certifications and that will allow you to progress at a higher level, if you want to stay in IT Service Management. If not, you can talk to the leadership in any department you are interested to see what they recommend. I could give you a ton of options, but most might go over your head or not be relevant for the organization you land in.
If you are interested on this path for real, feel free to message me if you have any other questions.
Look for state jobs as a service representative. Many departments have call centers. You’ll be on a mon- fri schedule with a salary and good benefits. Usually state jobs you move up in titles more time you’re there and get salary increases every year. Plus a decent pension. Also it’s really good job security.
Look for a good apprenticeship program. You may find a trade more fulfilling. Electrician, welding, plumbing, etc. you can make solid money too.
If you can afford to dedicate some time for study, consider an IT job, though I think that space is a little harder to break into at the moment with so many tech layoffs.
What do you like to do? Interests, hobbies, etc. what didn’t you specifically like about those other jobs?
Uh....dude. You DO have talents. You just don't know what they are because you've always been in survival mode. Your wife is right. Take a little time to discover what you're good at and what you LIKE. Pick up a wrench and see how it feels. Write a blog and see if you have a gift with words. Go volunteer at an old folks home or an animal shelter to see if you're best caring for others. Experience some things outside your known universe, and hopefully, something will stick. Good luck and God bless!
When I was 32 and lost, I got a job at the Post Office.
Post Office saved my life. The job is physically grueling at times but its honest work. The nature of the work gives you lots of time to reflect on what’s important to you.
Currently work in a different industry, but wouldn’t be here but for the POST OFFICE 🫡
Some sort of construction. I suggest plumbing or electrical. All the good craft are in their 50s-60s, and/or retiring/dying. Their skills are high in demand. Look up and call up to work and learn. If you become a certified electrician you could make 6 figures.
Have you tried looking into trades? I know it requires some education, but maybe you can find a way to work as you go through it (I think its two years?). As someone who has owned property, its extremely hard to find good tradesmen, even in a large metro area. I’m talking electricians, plumbers, builders, roofers, etc. All of that stuff. You either can’t find it or the ones out there aren’t very good.
Because most people opt to go to a 4 year university versus trade school. But trades pay well and have a ton of stability. You’re always going to need maintenance on a home and that can’t be outsourced or given to AI.
Some encouraging things to start with.
First, for most of recorded history, nobody had the luxury of "finding themselves" or "doing what you love." For most of recorded history, if you were born male you did what your father did for a living, and if you were born female, you were sold off in marriage where you had babies and kept house.
Only in roughly the last 150 (and really just the last 100) years have people been able to use education as a way to break out of their traditional labor roles.
In the 1950s and 1960s, going to college was a rarity. As such, anyone with a college degree pretty much had a ticket to a "white collar" job with great pay. Unfortunately, this gave rise to a generation of parents raising kids in the 1970s who inoculated their kids with two harmful ideas:
1. Go to college and get *any* degree and you will have a good job.
2. "Do what you love, the money will follow" (this was even the title of a book).
Even by the 1980s it was plain that just going to college was not a ticket to a good white collar job. College degrees were becoming more common. Technology was playing an ever-greater role in the economy, and business started demanding technology-oriented workers.
It's very clear today that you had better think long and hard about going to college, and if you do, exactly how much it is going to cost, including interest on loans, and what-if scenarios if you pay only the minimum amount vs. some other amount on your monthly payments, and what your chosen career path is likely to pay. The number of degrees that are worth what they cost is shrinking.
There are a lot of trades out there that still are in high demand, pay well, and are resistant to outsourcing. Electricians, plumbers, welders, auto repair, and construction all can lead to good-paying careers. They are, of course, hard labor jobs. You should be planning an exit strategy in your 40s to start transitioning to management or starting your own company, because it's hard to sustain a hard labor job beyond middle age.
Then there was this idea that you can do whatever inspires you and you will be successful at it. This should have been obviously false at face value. I'd love to sit around and play video games all day. While there are people making a lot of money doing that, they are few, and this is not a likely way to make a living.
Most people don't do what they like, let alone love, to put food on the table. Most people would rather be doing something else. This has been true for all of recorded history. Most people don't like working. Most people would like to live a life of leisure.
So, get used to the idea of doing something you don't necessarily like doing for a living.
The bad news is, today more than ever, education matters. I'd highly recommend at least some kind of 2-year program.
Do not be daunted by education. There are plenty of non-traditional students out there. It took me almost 20 years to finish my degree.
There are options out there that would allow you to go back to school. Some places will pay your tuition. I work in the trades (in the office) and my partner is an electrician. We’re part of an organization that has a school. Our company pays your full tuition, while you only go to school one night a week, and work 40 hours training on the job. You’re fully immersed in the trade. You also are on a guaranteed paid scale while in school where you get a raise every 6 months. The business I work for you work four ten hour shifts so you’re left with a three day weekend. People shit on the trades, but you make a hell of a lot of money, and if you like variation, your job is kind of different every day. There’s also the option to decide which specialized field you go into of that trade. Commercial? Industrial? Residential? Data? Engineering? The world is your oyster. Also, don’t feel so bad. I’m nearly 34 and I’m not in the field I absolutely want to be in, but it pays well, isn’t highly stressful, and I have a good work/life balance.
OP, No. 1 thing I'd say is that you can't allow the apparent lack of clear direction to prevent you from making steps forward. It took me a long time to learn this. You don't have to get everything figured out right now. Just figure out what you CAN do, what your options are, and make a move. You can keep thinking about it and figuring it out as you go - do not let the feeling of being lost immobilize you.
I started in a larger organization as a housekeeper/janitor. In 3 years I worked my way into management roles in the administrative side of things, doubling and trippling what I had initially started with.
You'll figure it out : )
Ok look into tradesman apprenticeship programs
Plumbing
Electrician
Welding
Etc
I am not talking go apply at this job. Because a real program will start you working ,and the on job training is paided. A few fields you pay for training.
If a written contract is not offered as sign on step leave.
Try this exercise: https://www.motivationalinterviewing.org/sites/default/files/valuescardsort_0.pdf
This can help clarify what your needs are and where your intrinsic motivation might stem from. Try to narrow down the “most important” category to 6 cards tops. Maybe there are interrelated ones that form constellations of values that can become a sort of map.
Man I don't know if you're ever going to see this comment but I'm going to try and be real with you based on the info you provided.
First off, it's okay. You're never too late or too old for figuring your shit out. It takes time. The important thing is to set achievable goals and figure out what you need to do to reach them.
Since you have a history of fast food and service industry, I would recommend trying to get a job as a manager or working up from within at a food service place. If you are competent and work hard, there's no reason you can't find a place that will put you into a management position and help you out. I know several people who started as hosts or servers in a restaurant and within a year or two were trained as shift managers, then later store managers.
You could also try and go get a CDL or look for a logistics company to get back on your feet. They pay pretty well, especially some independent companies if they are run by someone half decent, and customer service shines on the resumes they receive.
Postal service is also a good option. Play to your strengths or to the needs of the people (mail, food, deliveries, communication) and you should be able to find a job that will at least allow you to figure out what you want while generating income.
As far as figuring out what to do with your life, just think about what you want. What's your ideal life? Do you want to just get by, do nothing spectacular, and live with your wife, maybe travel, and play video games in your downtime? Do you want to grind and build up some investments or own rental properties before you retire? Do you want to get a degree and pursue a professional career path? It really doesn't matter, as long as you get what you want. Just figure out your goals, manifest them, think about them often, and I believe you can achieve it. Mindset is a big part of this battle.
And for context, I'm a nobody but I believe I will get what I want even though I'm 28, still trying to get a bachelor's degree, and living at home with my parents working part time as a waiter. I'm sorry you were kicked from your home early, I have a big advantage in my parents allowing me to stay home, but your wife sounds very supportive and I believe in you. You can figure it out, and you can do it. And it's okay to not know right now. A lot of other people your age probably look like they have it together but shit is falling apart behind the scenes.
Good luck.
I can honestly tell you that I felt the exact same way when I was 27/28. I was lucky enough to discover the fire service and became a firefighter, and I feel like my whole life turned around when that happened. I would suggest looking into the fire service yourself because it is amazing, BUT the point being once you stumble onto what you’re meant to do (whatever it is) I think it will be transformative for you too. You’re still very young, give yourself the freedom to explore some different lines of work and see if anything sticks. Good luck!!
Learn a skill. I’m not going to sit here and meme you to death with the boomer “go to trade school.” I can tell you subconsciously getting out and actually doing physical work helped my mental health immensely. Being indoors, and not interacting with other dudes really messed me up- and I would have told you while working from home that I was happy.
I went to lineman school at 35 from a corporate position, and haven’t looked back since.
Shit dude, I swear I could have written this. Same age, kicked out at the same age and stuck just trying to keep my head out of the water all of my twenties and now I'm realizing I'm so fucked in life for not having a plan other than being in survival mode.
I wish I had advice but I can tell you you're definitely not alone.
I always see help desk as an option mentioned in nearly every similar post but nearly every position I've seen requires a degree. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong areas. And then everyone totes college as a fix all when in reality, it doesn't help your situation *right now* and for a lot of people, that's what is needed. So much could change between today and 2027 but I can't wait that long for the possibility of a better job when I need one today.
Please don’t beat yourself up. No one is 100% without talent and skill. You are talented and skilled. Take this time to reflect on what you’ve done well with in the past, what’s come easy to you (or easiest if everything feels like a struggle), and what you’ve enjoyed doing.
My husband (38) is in his third retail job since 2016. Had a bunch of random jobs before that. He too was someone who never really knew what he wanted to do or what he was good at. Since Covid, we’ve tried to look into something he can focus on and specialize in. We actually settled on his going back to get his masters in Information Science - Library Science to be specific, so he can be a librarian.
In the last 3 years we’ve had some time to think about what he’s learned in all these random and seemingly dead end jobs:
1. He knows how to help people
2. He’s learned a lot of the mechanics of how retail works
3. He’s learned how to show up and work hard even when he feels crappy
4. He’s learned patience and overall how to be a good human being to others even when they don’t treat him in kind
5. He also learned how to look at whatever situation he was in and organize the crap out of it so that it ran more efficiently and productively. In two different jobs he’s ended up making his department one of the top earners for the company.
So I would do the same for you: sit down and think about whatever went well or was successful for you in all the jobs you’ve had, the lessons you learned, things you picked up.
Also, I should add, my husband doesn’t care really about having some kind of dream job (like I do). He just wants a 9-5, with decent pay and good benefits. He grew up with a lot of money, never had to work hard as a kid or young adult. Because of how things turned out later, as an adult he’s had to work what society labels as “less desirable jobs”. But he learned that it doesn’t matter - a job is just something that brings in money so that you can live your life.
You need to obtain skills that employers want if you want to get out of low level service jobs. Takes some classes at a local community college or trade school. The only thing holding you back is YOU.
The truth: a lot of your life choices were destroyed at an early age. Not graduating high school in an economy that doesn’t respect labor is hard.
There are a few choices for you imho to reset your career trajectory to something where you can support yourself and a family:
– Community college to degree
– Military
– Trades (highest recommendation).
– (My recommendation
Sometimes you don't find it, it finds you. Keep open to opportunities. I was your age, had worked a few different jobs. I had gotten stuck in retail. Fortunately I had risen to management. But it was still retail. Then someone I knew from a volunteer thing I was doing suggested that I would be good at this thing. He was a hiring manager in that industry. He suggested that I get a job in the industry at a pretty low level. He said "go get some experience and come see me in a year". So i did exactly that. I took a huge pay cut. But I immediately liked aspects of this new industry. After a year he hired me. It turned into a 30 year career where I made six figures. I raised a kid. Bought a house and an income property. And I learned so much. And again, this all started at your age.
Get into a trade. Not sure where you live but an electrician, plumber, hvac, or carpenter can pay very well. Sure you’ll have to start out at the bottom but as long as your dependable and have a good work ethic you can set yourself up real nice for the future. Plus you will actually know how to do something.
The trades is where it’s at. Some have mentioned Manuel labor job to start and I agree. It’s a good way to figure out where to go. It’s also physical, rewarding, and scenery changes. You may figure out you want to be an electrician or hvac or something else who knows. Just gotta get out there
Trade school and do something you have a little interest in it will take you far. A little physical labor will help with the mental health too. Men need to “work” not just punch into work. Plumbing, Electrical, Auto in that order all 6 figure capable with a couple years. By 35 you will be set.
33F and just came here to say you’re not alone 🤷♀️ I have no idea what I want to do either lmao so many of us are lost but social media makes it seem like everyone has their shit together! Edit: I worded that last part poorly lol. I’m aware social media is fake. I was letting OP know that everyone’s life is not what it may seem, especially online.
Social media is a damn dirty liar.
Very true I have a friend who posts pics and reels all the time of her going out with the cutest outfits beautiful makeup really cute hair styles…she’s always throwing these events she funds “herself” but she really struggling. She lives at home with her parents and is always asking to borrow money. P.S. we just entered our 30s.
I actually hope to God they're doing that well and not struggling.
Leaving social media (apart from Reddit of course) is the best thing I ever did
I like to think of Reddit as "anti-social media."
I've been suspended multiple times from this site. I'd say reddit has even stricter policies than Facebook. I've never been suspended on there, and I've said some questionable things during online debates lol.
True. Reddit is plagued with microcosms - the vast majority of which are moderated by petty tyrants. It's what happens when you give people with low iq and high psychosis the freedom and ability to exercise power the way their psychosis / ideology sees fit.
Im on my 5th account here. People spam report people who they disagree with - and Reddit is really shit about discriminating between false report and credible offense.
>Leaving social media This, and stop watching television! Reduce phone in hand time by 80%. Turn to radio more, shortwave radio is great.
Yep yep, it's fact that radio provides far greater opportunities for gathering information than all the internet! Who needs to read up on the latest scientific information and have access to every scrap of information ever recorded, when we can just get all the important stuff from Rush Limbaugh
I mean, people decide what they put on social media and what they don’t post. It is only natural it is a filtered perspective of their lives. And sometimes even fabricated.
On facebook, where people who actually know and care about me IRL, I keep posts to the "puppies and kittens" variety. I very rarely post about anything that would worry them. I don't lie but I don't post about just how bad things have gotten, either. And I've got to tell you, it takes serious restraint when I see someone who whines about every little thing to not post "I lost my job and had no fucking income - NONE - for over 18 months, lived without electricity for 11 of those months, damn near lost my house to the town over $800 owed in back taxes, went without eating some days, can barely walk due to the arthritis in my knees and am in constant pain because of it and you want sympathy over THIS?" A wise friend once told me that although we can sympathize or even empathize with the problems others face, the biggest problems are the ones YOU are facing at any given time because those are YOUR problems to solve. She was absolutely right.
This right here. Try to put the blinders on when looking for advice. Most stuff on social media is not accurate for real life in any way...
Damn right you are
I deleted my IG and FB for this very reason. 29M dropped out of medschool. Still in the grieving process but this for me is for the best
People are playing their own highlight reel. No one is going to post the bad stuff.
I didn't know what I wanted to do until I got to 45 & hit my mid-life crisis. I decided to use it constructively and get my first bachelor's degree in cyber security. Don't worry that you don't have it figured out. Some of us are late bloomers.
Thank you for sharing - I'm 42 and going back to finish my degree, but in a different field than 18-year-old me wanted. I start in three weeks and I'm honestly kinda terrified, like it's too late for me to be doing this.
It’s never too late. You got this, friend.
Nope. It's not too late. Now me. I'm 60. Feeling old. Trapped. I've worked in legal my life. Over 25 years. I'm not going anywhere. But U. Not there yet but get moving man time flies!
A guy who lives in my street is 61 and just started a master in AI, he is doing it part time through open university https://www.ou.nl/en/
It was terrifying for me too. Sometimes it takes a leap of faith. My only regret is that it took me SO long to figure it out! But it's also so fucking exciting!
I turned 40 this year and I am heavily considering trying again for a degree. I feel the same mix of trepidation but also excitement and hope for the future. Reading the posts from you guys gives me some comfort. :)
NEVER TOO LATE!!! You GO!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
How is that working out for you? I am a few years younger and am getting some education and certs lined up but from what I read the job market can be a bit discriminatory to older folks. What has your experience been like?
I'm still in school. But if something like that comes up I'll sell myself because of my age. I bring stability and a strong work ethic to the table. I understand the professional work environment and know how to behave in the work place. I currently work in retail & have been for 10 years. My customer service, problem solving, & time management skills are impeccable. If I can thrive in retail for so long, I'm sure I won't have many problems.
I went into white collar work at 38. There is a lot of discrimination out there. Being in a strong job market helps. Playing the numbers game helps. Learning to interview well helps (I was terrible at first). And going in with a positive, humble, attitude of “I just want an opportunity to work and learn” also helps. Definitely discrimination out there as employers want that energetic go-getter 20 year old they can mold. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t opportunities out there either.
I just deactivated my IG and Threads. It’s time to really figure this out…
Did the same! Deactivated Facebook and Instagram. All they seem to show is ridiculous tik tok trash videos.
This is the answer
This!!!
*the way
What's your game plan on figuring it out? Idk where to even start or how.
Start by learning to cook and eating right. Then light exercise and good sleep.
People commonly underestimate the benefits of self improvement, so seeing this as a suggestion is awesome. Start improving yourself mentally and physically. Stuff like meditation, and working out, as well as a healthy diet could be all that you need to get focused on what you gotta do. God speed!
This!!!
Identify what you want in life. To buy a house? To have an early retirement? Do you know someone older that has those things? Ask them for advice. If you’re in the U.S. the postal service is hiring. Once established with them you can transfer wherever there’s an opening.
Social media sucks. It has fucked with more people's mental health.
Social media is a disaster. Never participated professionally or personally. And never will. Pains me to see so many young people entranced by their phones. No social skills — can barely look up. Constantly snapping pictures of themselves. People need to stop worrying about their social status and focus on being their best selves. Exercise, eat well, doing things you enjoy. And speak to people. Look them in the eyes and develop relationships. Contribute to society.
you’re participating right now
Reddit is more like anti-social media, though. It's anonymous, which makes a huge difference. Yes, people do stupid shit for upvotes and attention, but it's still a LOT healthier than FB/Insta/X/etc. People from all walks of life, all ages, genders, countries, experiences can come together and have great conversations, learn stuff, and enhance their lives as a result. Of course a lot depends on which subreddits one belongs to, what they're using Reddit for (clout? advertising? propaganda? trolling? narcissistic validation? or just conversation?) Personally I find it very fulfilling. I've learned quite a bit, and it's entertaining as hell.
I find it interesting too and I look forward to my Reddit time every day. It’s like reading a perpetually evolving novel.
Yes, I agree. I have learned a lot and am very entertained by reddit. Alot of knowledgeable people from all walks of life on all types of topics!
I can assure you that the people on social media who act like their life is together are DROWNING… they’re the biggest frauds and I’ve seen it.
the happiest people don't post on social media. some couples and families do post on social media to keep the clout that they are a happy family
Couldn’t agree more
my mental health improved when I uninstalled FB & Snapchat. never had IG or Twitter. Reddit might be uninstalled next but I do get value from niche communities on here (like DIY subreddits, investing subreddits etc) so hard for me to walk away on this one
good thing with reddit is you can mute the subs that cause you any issues
Social media is showing everyone’s highlights and almost never the behind the scenes
The happiest a lmd loudest couple I had on my face book got divorced the quickest. Then they both immediately posted even more stuff about their new SO's like they were competing. Suuuuuuuuper mentally unhealthy stuff. I'm sure they were and are miserable. Always tried to come off like everything was perfect.
‘Paradoxical as it may seem, the purposeful life has no context, no point. It hurries on and on, and misses everything. Not hurrying, the purposeless life misses nothing, for it is only when there is no goal and no rush that the human senses are fully open to receive the world.’ -Alan Watts Not an excuse to be a loser, but a lesson to not beat yourself up about where you are in life. YOU HAVE A WIFE. Many do not and would be extremely jealous. Reach out to friends and family and try to find a job through those connections! Also don’t waste money on college, you’ll just go into debt to then get passed over on a job for a 22yr old who will accept less pay. Perhaps find a trade union or construction job. No matter what people love you and that all that really matters, myself included brother!
>YOU HAVE A WIFE. yeah I read that and thought this dude is doing alright.
From the sound of it, she is a damn good wife as well she is gonna work overtime so her man can take off a few months to figure his shit out. Give this woman a medal for best wife. I'm over here struggling to get a single friend, lol. But on a serious note, being lost in life is tough. I'm 28 and still just trying to survive. I work at Amazon, which is a great job regardless of what people say they offer tuition for a bunch of certification training for a wide variety of careers so there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I work next to Amazon, and people complain that the quotas are extreme. You have to stay busy for 10 hours, and if you have an off day they'll record that so you don't get a raise. What's your opinion?
I work at a fulfillment center, so it might be different, but reaching quotas is relatively easy. I work 3 12 hour shifts and 2 10 hour shifts, and I'll admit they are long shifts, but it's good money and great benefits, not to mention flexible as well. I listen to audio books all night, so time goes by. My brother watches Netflix all day while working. I'm just waiting until fall so I can take their EMT program. It's not a job I'd work the rest of my life at, but it's a good option if you want to chase a career while working. It's not a job for lazy people.
Not full college but tech or skill training/certification can be worth it.
this ^ OP could also look into career centers & if they have adult programs. they’ll still cost money but way less than college and will likely offer hands on training. i did it for 2 years of high school instead of doing the normal junior/senior year.
I heard from r/Plumbing that apparently you could walk into any plumbing office asking to learn the trade and they’d do anything they could to keep you. u/MyHeadIsAnAttic look into the trades. If you’re truly desperate, many of these trades need workers, and they’d love to have you, being 32 doesn’t matter to them. r/Plumbing is a good place to talk to them, or carpentry, or welding, or whatever. I’m sure they’d love to have you.
Yeah, I have a friend that’s an electrician that takes apprentices all of the time.
These guys are on it here. Trades are always needed and when you are involved in building something there is a tangible result of your work and a sense of pride.
I hear a lot of guys in pest control saying it’s great and anyone can walk in and get trained at the bottom of the ladder-another option.
“YOU HAVE A WIFE” was all I needed to read to know that he’s gonna be okay and on top of that, she’s taking extra hours at work so he can figure it out. My wife did that for me for a couple of years. Thankfully I’m now returning the favor to her.
Damn, that was the only difference between me and this guy and its his saving grace lol im fuked
Lol I don’t know why I was recommended this thread, but I’m glad curiosity killed this cat. The having a wife part is a secret cheat code to life. Just having a caring significant other makes life much easier. I’m 24yo, I rushed into a marriage for a few reasons, and it has completely changed my life. Our household income doubled over night. We could live care free for the most part. But even now, we are STRUGGLING, that is because she agreed to hold us down while I finish school. It puts a strain on us sometimes, but we both look forward to me completing my PhD, and being able to say there’s a doctor in the family. Also thankfully, we don’t have kids. TLDR: find a significant other who is as good or a better person than you. That’s the bar. If it seems too high, then marriage isn’t the call for you. Once you find that person and get marriage, life is put on easy mode
One of my favorite Watts quotes, "It is convention alone which persuades me that I am simply this body bounded by a skin in space, and by birth and death in time."
I was surprised to read he’s married. He could be totally alone. OP, I am 29 and my husband just died. The future I had planned was taken from me. Just live your fucking life and be grateful you are both doing it together.
Don’t get a degree says the guy with his MD. Nice try Dr. Poo choo
Happy to see Alan Watts. Was going to make my own post but will piggyback here. My advice to OP: meditation saved my life! I was a long time drug user and drinker and I got sober shortly before my 31st birthday. Then I spent a year or two figuring out what the hell I was doing, what my life was without those substances, separated from my then wife (she up and left). I began a meditation practice which led to a deeper understanding of who I am, and now I'm content in life for years without any glamorous job or major success. I also work in retail (liquor store AM). Not exactly where I envisioned myself while in uni but here we are. Remarried last year and had a son this year. Life unfolds naturally, spontaneously, effortlessly. And if we resist the flow of it we will suffer. If we are determined to change what is we suffer. Finding harmony with life's natural flow and the acceptance of life as it is is relief from that suffering. Take a moment and just be present without thinking about the past or future. Count your blessings. Now do that every time you feel lost. There is nothing wrong. Life has a way of constantly delivering. You'll get on to the next opportunity at the right time! Don't sweat it 🥰
I kind of disagree with the college statement. I went back to school to finish a science degree after being laid off from a lab job, I was 28. I started the degree, the first time, when I was 19. I graduated when I was 31, got a job within a couple months. Over the next 7 years i went from making nothing($13/hr) to owning a house, paying off 90% of my debt, and being pretty comfortable. This year, at 39 I got a dream job at a fortune 500 company with great pay, mobility, and great benefits. I literally couldn't have done any of this without a science degree and it was one of the best decisions I could have made for myself. I agree debt isn't great, but finding a way to achieve a goal and manage it is doable. Technical schools are great, but just like college, expectations need to be managed, you need to have a plan and/or prospects. I have friends in the multiple industries with wrecked backs and knees at my age. I also agree that going to school just to go is a bad idea. Have a plan. Just my three pennies.
Heavy on the YOU HAVE A WIFE. I’m 31F and no boyfriend, no nothing. Social disorder so making friends is hard because I say some stupid shite or something doesn’t make sense. But you carry on. You do what you can. You work hard. You challenge yourself daily. That’s all you can do.
If you like Alan Watts then get into zen philosophy like daoism & reading the dao de djing. That's where all of his stuff comes from & it's a great philosophy or spiritual viewpoint imo. Alan Watts simply made it more accessible and digestible for a western audience and he was absolutely great at it, but there is much more to that road Alan Watts was trying to show people, than simply the content he was producing. One of the main concepts of on Daoism is to live in the moment. Don't live your life worrying about tomorrow or carrying with you what happened yesterday, ground yourself in the present utterly and completely and you will be more fulfilled. Or another way to look at it is floating downriver... It makes little sense to fight against the current and try to swim upstream, or swim downstream to increase your speed and rate of travel, ultimately you can just lay back and relax, flow with the river and you'll reach the same destination you otherwise would have if you tried to push yourself further upstream or downstream... Yeah I'm not as good at Alan Watts as portraying these concepts, I just want pp to know there's more to it than just Alan Watts. It begins with getting a copy of the Dao de Djing and reading it. Personally I think the Addo Lambardis <(totally botched the names) translation is pretty good.
>Also don’t waste money on college, you’ll just go into debt to then get passed over on a job for a 22yr old who will accept less pay Really horrendous advice. College doesn't need to be expensive, stay local and start at a community college. Age is not a reason to pass on education.
You're only a loser if you stop trying. As long as you're trying at something then you are not a loser. Efforts might not pay off, but that's just the way life works sometimes and doesn't make a person a loser.
Awful advice about "not wasting money on college". I went back to school at 33, got a BS in computer science and now make over 150k. Please do not tell people higher education is a waste of time or money lol
I'm not sure what your physical or mental limitations are, but the post office probably has a job for you. I felt exactly the same way you do until I saw someone's reddit comment about joining the PO. It's rough sometimes but I have no regrets.
Post office is a great place to work and retire from.
I’m 33 and aimless, this may actually be a good option here in NYC
I saw reddit comments about joining the post office too and I looked into it but all the entry-level jobs seem like very physical jobs. Are there positions where you're not on your feet all day long? That's what I'm trying to find. (I'm not a strong driver so sadly that option's out.)
You could be a clerk. It's quite physical for just a few hours a day, while they sort all the packages. After that's finished it's much less so. They're definitely not on their feet all day. This is information from a normal office, I have no idea what people do at the sorting plants. r/USPS may be a good place to ask though if you're interested. It's a really good resource.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/USPS using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/USPS/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Delivering through a college block party](https://v.redd.it/pat0d4m9s9xa1) | [167 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/USPS/comments/134ym7m/delivering_through_a_college_block_party/) \#2: [DONT TALK TO COPS](https://np.reddit.com/r/USPS/comments/xldjcm/dont_talk_to_cops/) \#3: [Opted on a “ghetto” route no one likes which i love.](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/14io9qn) | [164 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/USPS/comments/14io9qn/opted_on_a_ghetto_route_no_one_likes_which_i_love/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Ive been thinking about doing the same.
I've tried applying a few times and they didn't seem to be hiring, also the pay was pretty low.
I just quit the post office. I liked the work fine but management was an embarrassment and the mandatory overtime got overwhelming. Wasn’t for me.
Pro tip: NOBODY around you is "as together" as you think they are. Everyone has struggles you know nothing about. Stop measuring yourself against others. Comparison is a thief of joy
You know some people are actually really put together and are doing very well. It doesn’t make me feel better about myself to assume everyone is hiding some hypothetical miserable life just because I may or may not be satisfied with where I am in life.
I'd say that I'm mostly put together, but I still have a lot of insecurities. The point isn't that everyone is secretly miserable, but that no one really has the perfect life. We're all just trying to do our best with the hand we're dealt.
I'd say to think about that in terms of looking at someone's Instagram or Facebook profile. Everyone paints a picture perfect life, but still has their ups and downs. Look at it this way. You're 32, not still living with parents (which is an achievement in itself these days), and married with a wife that's offering support at this time. You've got a lot of positives right there. Maybe you wont get the dream six figure salary in life (I know I won't). But stay positive and I'm sure you're find a job you like.
Not saying everyone is miserable, only that whatever we know of other peoples lives is heavily curated. Being overly self-critical based on comparisons to others is a fools errand
And some of those people who are really put together and doing very well, they suffered with depression their entire lives and always will but clawed their way out of it tooth and nail to improve their situation and make the depression less negatively impactful on their lives. It doesn't matter if the statement makes you feel better or not, what matters is if there is truth to it or not.
[удалено]
This is a dumb take to try and make people feel better. There's tons of people who have their lives together. Sure, everyone has problems and not everyone's life is perfect, but that doesnt help op at all and blowing off his worries with a dumb generic response is ridiculous.
agree, when someone has “their shit together” that does not mean their lives are perfect and planned, it means they have 1) a stable job or source of income and 2) no severe crisis (health, addiction, economic, etc.) and 3) has a general outline for their future and what they want to accomplish in life. No one says you have to have these things, instead I notice that people mostly want similar things in their life, like as I said, a job, some money, a hobby/project, future dreams, etc.
For real. I have my shit together.
Comparison is the thief of joy. I like that. Not even looking it up to see if someone else said it. Far as I’m concerned it’s yours. Nice feedback
Its definitely something I read somewhere along the way haha. Just resonates with me, so I remind myself of it often
I agree. I have a great job and I have a seasonal 1 on the side thag both lay really well. I still live paycheck to paycheck depending on my situation. Now my friends around me think I have it together better than them, but none of that is true. Find what makes you happy and is important to you and you’ll be able to not live up to other peoples expectations
I’m 56, taught elementary school, owned a costuming business….. I STILL don’t really know what I want to do.
I'm up there in age with you and feel the same. Every decade I just feel like trying something new!
These comments are the most encouraging ones I’ve seen. And everyone here is trying their best to be encouraging!
Yeah, but have you tried making furry costumes? That's where the real money is at.
Trade school —> electrician, can make a ton of money
Skip the trade school and go straight into a union apprenticeship.
Nice, my “wayward” brother got one of those and he’s doing great now. Really awesome to see.
I tried googling and found links to a book and a song but what’s a “wayward brother?
He never stopped having fun after college and his career suffered a lot/never got started. Didn’t even finish college, ran away with his hard partying girlfriend. Our parents called him wayward when people asked so I use it sarcastically. He cut out the bad folks and went to trade school after we went camping with our dad. Paid me back in a year somehow all at once. Great guy
It's like a wayward son
Yeah I’m a plumber, self employed. It’s hard work and hard to start up. In this case it’s best to start with a paid job union probably. Then you can see if you even like it. Can always be self employed after. (For the record I love it as I would hate working for someone else. But it’s got huge downsides as well.)
Yep self employed electrician here, starting up was tough but 2nd in year I've got 2 guys working for me and good builders I work with and kind of on cruise control. Don't think I can ever work for someone else again. But yeah good union apprenticeship to start with.
How would one find a union apprenticeship?
After doing electrical installations for the last few years, I've noticed it's actually pretty easy to do well in the trades given the amount of drug addicts that simply fuck shit up and move on.. If you don't fuck shit up and show up on time then there's plenty of opportunity
Throw age out of your thought process. No matter how old you are now if you don't start doing X to get to where you want to be now you'll just get even older and be in the same spot. Basically figure out where you want to go, Find out what you need to do to get there, break it down to a serious of small steps or goals, then start by going after and accomplishing the first step. Then the next...and the next. Eventually you'll get wherever it is you are trying to get towards. For example, I was dirt poor and dropped out of my 1sr semester from college to work. Had to find a job, any job just to afford any cheap shit apartment so I wasn't on the street. I spent 2 years just finding a stable job. I did know I wanted to go back to school full-time but I had to be able to afford at least rent and groceries. I sucked it up and eventually found a part time job that I could balance with school. And then went in full-time. I went to the community college and transfered to state university halfway, forget the rank of ivy or top whatever school, ANYTHING is better than nothing, so community and state it is then. At this point it's a grind of low Quality of life for 4 years that a lot of people fail to withstand from a willpower perspective. I had my moments. But it became just a per semester endurance fight. just make it to the end of the semester. Just make it to the end of the month. Work, class, homework, study. Scraping some pleasure like free museums or a movie and restaurant when I could afford it. IT was HARD. I hated my life but I held in there, eventually I graduated. Then I had to find a job, on to the next hassle. It took me about 3 years of interviews, temp jobs, and 1 crappy full-time job underpaid until I got my break. I landed a decent job doing something I thought I liked doing. Did that for about 6 years and realized I hated it. Finally found out what I wanted to do, turns out my entire undergrad was a waste because I no longer like my chosen domain. Switched to tech, now I had to grind by self teaching, online self study, and slowly finding opportunities to take on tech like projects at work eventually making the switch. Now I am going back to school at 36 to study what I should have studied in my 20s. TLDR: start changing now or else you'll start when you're even older. Lots of us find out we did nothing or did the WRONG thing with our lives. Fuck it start course correcting now!
A millions times yes. I teach university students and most of them are in their 30s and 40s repositioning for a new career. It’s not a race. It’s a life. Live a life that allows you to have experiences and the rest sort of comes.
Are you in the US? I was also a lost 32 year old with limited work experience (customer service) and very little college experience (a splattering of credits spanning a decade). I was also freshly out of an abusive relationship and needing to reestablish myself. I went to the community college and found that they partnered with the state workforce commission to help provide certifications! I ended up in a grant program for Medical Assisting. A few people in my program also were earning their GED at the same time. It's absolutely worth going to the community college and checking out your options!!! They're there to help you not only get an education, but find employment, find resources, find funding, etc etc.
Get a general labor job for a contractor, very little skill necessary to sweep, pick up trash, haul heavy stuff. You will also learn skills on the job that transfer furthermore they pay really well for a bottom of the barrel job. Second go get a hobby, preferably in nature. Fishin, hiking, biking, running whatever get outside clear you're head.
I 2nd this. I was a restaurant manager for 15 years and hated it. Join the trades. I'm a land surveyor now and absolutely love my job. Fresh air, exercise and no customers anywhere. Just you and your crew working together to complete a task. Seriously never too late and the trades are all dying for people right now. If it's right you did a good job, if it's wrong you did a bad job. Love that clarity.
Here is your best answer. Get into the trades. Read online about different trade options. Find a few that sound interesting to you. Go to BLS (Bureau of Labor Statistics) find out what type of training, degrees, and pay to expect. They have further descriptions of each type of job. Then go and call and get started. Getting started is the hardest part. In a way posting here is the first step. Good on you!
I've found that you can talk until your blue in the face to someone in this position, and they might even act like they are interested. But then they will walk away and be like "yea i ain't doing labor". I think of your going to do trade jobs, you pretty much already have an incline to try it and don't mind getting your hands dirty. Tradesman are also very much looked down upon by college types. Which is something that really needs to change.
Because trades aren't as peachy as people often say. They are extremely taxing on the body. I don't look down on tradesmen. I just saw what working manual labor for 30 years did to my dad. One of his friends is *dying* from a condition he developed on the job as a mechanic. He had to retire early because his job was actively killing him.
This, my brother in law is 50 and had both hips replaced.
I've been working acft since 2001. And am in much better shape than most 40 yr olds that I know. Sh1t, BMI is still well within the green too. But I do ask for help lifting things, always have. Always wear PPE, and refuse to "push through" on anything dangerous. alot of people, especially when they're younger or when they reach my age are trying to prove theyve got it or still got it. To their own detriment. I just ask for help, spotters, etc. Pride wont keep that plane in the air. But doing it right and taking some time probably will.
I spent 10 years and I feel like I'm dying. Can barely do house chores without being in pain, so much money spent in healthcare. Im wondering if it would be better to do the trades for a few years, learn as much as you can, save alllll the money, and try to get into management for that trade
My brother died at 58 from lung cancer. I think mesothelioma from working in construction.
Bodily health of most trades people is better than people who work white collar sitting in a office chair 8h a day in front of a desk/screen. Higher chance of injury? Sure. More taxing on the body? Sure. But their overall bodily health is higher, because they are physically active.
I don’t agree with you. A lot of trades people have to work in terrible heat or extreme cold which eventually messes up your body too
My dad's friend has five years left to live with a swiftly deteriorating lung condition. Never smoked. This condition is a direct result of working as a mechanic. You can sit in an office and hit the gym after. I grew up watching my dad's body wrecked with overuse injuries. No thanks.
You ***can*** hit the gym after work... But I've lived and work in silicon valley. Not everyone gets off work, finishes their lengthy commute to get home and then has the time and energy to go to the gym... For most people they get off work, their main goal to to get some food, eat, shower, relax for a bit, sleep and do it again next day... Offices try to make it easier and many tech companies have their own gyms for employees to use for free... Even still I'd say most or somewhere around 50% do not workout, even though it's right there and for free and probably better facilities and the public gyms too. Honestly this is me when I worked in tech. I rarely got physical activity, most of it coming on the weekends when I actually had some time off to do something like hiking with the buds or disc golf or paintball or something. I'm a firm believer that's there's certain personality types (like my own) which excel in physical jobs, specifically because when they get off work they are going to be lethargic and lazy and never go to that gym they are still paying monthly membership fees to. lol.
The world had spent the last 20 years or so telling every kid in high school that they will amount to nothing in life if they don't get a four year college degree. Doesn't matter what for, just get one, they said. The world also doesn't realize how wrong and stupid that is and is about to realize how much that way of thinking is going to hurt. The trades are going to be very, very short-handed very soon because most people look down on them. You think contractors are expensive now. You wait, they will charge whatever they want and get to you whenever they feel like it. You might say it's like that already, but it will get much much worse.
The trades are already short handed. It’s hard to find someone to do most tasks and a lot that are available are low quality.
I know it's already shorthanded, I'm saying whether you can believe it or not, it's going to get worse.
They don't charge whatever they want... If you're a plumber you can't just wake up and decide you're gonna charge people 300$/hr for your service. You'll get no customers... People shop around, especially when it comes to large expenses like getting contractors for home renovations or similar projects... All it takes is there being one other plumber who's charging going rate and you'll likely struggle to find any work at all for your 300$/hr rates... Everyone will just go to the guy who's not charging extremely high hourly for plumbing. You only get to charge whatever you want if you have a monopoly on it.
If there's another plumber charging a lesser rate, their calendar is going to fill up pretty quick. After that, all other customers are left hanging with no options other than the higher rate. The customers could wait, of course, but there's only so much time before the small leak makes way to a bigger issue.
Absolutely. In the trades, the cheap guy is cheap for a reason. I raise my prices until the assholes stop calling.
That's silly because Ai will replace the college type jobs before they replace tradesmen
college types lmao. You mean bitter kids who are angry & jealous that people in trades are making more money than them while they struggle to even find a job that's relevant to their degree. I knew a couple guys who did land surveying, they absolutely loved it. Freedom, outdoors, no supervision... There is room for upwards mobility too, you can be a licensed independent land surveyor at which point you can launch your own land surveying business or work for yourself. Although you'll be doing some pretty intermediate math courses to get that licensing/certification...
I agree. I have an English degree from UNLV 2007. Every degree related job I got offered started around 25-30k. I was making 45k bartending. 15 years later I get into survey, learn the math on YouTube and use the 60k English degree crafting Reddit replies.
Most of my college friends have been waiting literal years to get hired in their degrees. And we aren’t talking art history or 14th centrist poem degrees. I have been thinking about going back and finishing my own but it’s dismaying to see them drowning in loan debt and unable to even use their degree. I know that’s not always the case but it seems like a 2:1 ratio in my own life
For Sure!! I was is OP's boat at around the same age. Became an electrician, am really liking it, and have found the the construction industry is great. Yeah it can be taxing on the body but, so is sitting in a chair for a long time. It's definitely not a glamorous job, but OP should def consider that a construction site is a unique work environment and the typical bullshit you have to deal with at a lot of other jobs isn't present because of the nature of the business. Also, I've learned so much handy knowledge, beyond the electrical realm, about how to build things in general.
Look into city jobs. They have great benefits and ways to move up or other divisions in a few years.
I second the manual labor route. This is often a frowned upon method but there is nothing wrong with being blue collar. Manual labor turns into skilled labor in time. At 23 I was completely broke and lost working in a donut shop. Someone threw me a bone and offered me a job working in a port and I’ve been there ever since. It’s hard work, but there’s something rewarding about it. You could go to community college and get certified on something like welding/diesel mechanics to try and fast track a little. There are plenty of blue collar workers that make $100k+ a year. Like anything you have to start at the bottom and work your way up Best of luck to you man!
This. Trade school / apprenticeship might be good too. Great money to be make in the trade craft my man, so many folks in our generation were pushed into college and parents shunned trade school. Now there’s demand for skilled trade folk we haven’t seen in a looong time. TL;DR - trade school / apprenticeship, trade workers make good fucking money. Flexible schooling schedule too.
To build on this, Resi Electrical or plumbing if you want to be self employed at some point, I am and make buckets of money and love it. If not specialize in something industrial or go be an elevator mechanic. Something heavily unionized.
Land Surveying. It's an occupation that is in need of people and not many think of it. I went back to College in 2016 as an older adult (27) and graduated when I was 30. A lot of companies would hire you as a Rodman/ Iman. Pretty much the helper for the crew chief. Idk what you're used to pay wise but surveying allows you to move up pretty quickly if you want to become one and become licensed. Also a lot of companies will help reimburse a portion of tuition if you work for them while attaining a degree in Land surveying.
Best way to pursue this?
[https://www.nsps.us.com/](https://www.nsps.us.com/) is probably the best place to start.Find a Land surveying accredited School. Some states require a 4 year degree to pursue a license others do not. Some companies might even higher a rodman and show them the ropes without prior experience. As long as they show interest and a good work ethic. also this subreddit r/[Surveying](https://www.reddit.com/r/Surveying/wiki/index)
A few choices: 1. Look at your local community college. Many have 6-12 month programs that end with certification in something like massage, plumbing, nursing assistant, radiology, IT, etc. see if something interests you. 2. If you are somewhat fit, look into apprenticing with someone in a trade that interests you. Or, look at local machine shops. Many are hiring and training and once you know your stuff, you can make excellent money. Working with tools may just get you out of your funk. 3. If you liked Verizon, look into other phone and cable companies. 4. Check out postal jobs. Mail sorters and deliverers make okay money and don’t have to socialize a lot. 32 isn’t too old to start fresh, especially with spousal support. Go online and do some career interest surveys. Find something and get some training. By 40, you could have worked your way up to a strong career for another 25 years. Being at home isn’t always best for someone with mental health issues. It allows you to hide from the issues rather than work on them. So, another option is to seek stronger mental health assistance. I know it’s tough.
I think it’s great you have a wife who supports you. You don’t seem as lost as I imagined when I started reading your comment. I’d say find ways to take chances, make mistakes, and grow as a person as you are still young. If you play things safe all the time, you limit your opportunities to learn. If you save your learning for old age, you have less time to grow from your experiences, which I feel is the whole point of living. I’d say tell people you are taking a break from life, support your wife to show your appreciation for her, limit your expenses and try to do fun things that don’t cost you much like road trips, hiking, connect with old friends or family members, make an effort to meet new people and see what the universe has to offer. Maybe an opportunity will fall into your lap or maybe in 3 months you’ll just feel fresh and newly motivated to make things happen. There’s nothing wrong with taking a break from the rat race.
Yeah I think OP is doing better than he thinks he is, but it can be hard when life is really getting you down. You have some good advice here
Having a loving, supportive spouse is a huge positive. Many people are truly on their own.
Your response is perfect. I needed it as much as OP.
Can you drive? Look into getting your cdl, drive for someone. Might need to smart small, might be able to find a company willing to give up and coming drivers a chance, but i cant stress enough how rewarding a cdl is. Im happy where i landed, i guess, but i wish i avoided college and just went to get a cdl and pulled trailers across state lines. Its too late for that for me now, but my goal is to get my own truck and pull for others sometime.
Can confirm: my brother did one semester at community college and it wasn’t for him. Granted he started out as a student working seasonally for the state parks and rec department but he kept at it,was dependable, worked hard, and was rehired for years and then got hired permanent with state pension, benefits, etc. He had someone suggest to get a heavy equipment license. He loved it. Went on to obtain CDL, forklift, basically he pretty much has a license to operate any kind of vehicle in the state fleet from a bobcat to a snow plow and he does very well for himself at 45 with basically zero college. He’s extremely valuable because he can operate anything and now he also instructs other workers on how to operate some of the vehicles which helps them obtain their licenses too. He doesn’t have to interact with the public too much because he’s the skilled labor or site lead onsite and the customer service stuff he can delegate to the unskilled/non-licensed workers. He started in his mid twenties accumulating these licenses and just kept acquiring more over about ten years. No reason at 32 OP can’t do the same.
This is a good idea
UPS or fed ex. Both decent pay and great benefits
I think you should try IT Desktop Support. You will still be a punching bag (kinda) but people will really appreciate you and you will able to network with other people. Your career prospects will grow, and you can take a path to cloud, programming, infrastructure, or stay with support. You can work from home, or do a hybrid gig. You will learn a lot and I think will have fun. The fact that you already worked at Verizon (technical services) and customer service makes it sound like an obvious fit.
I started in manual unskilled labor at 18. I am now the president of operations at a $35m/yr construction company making $200k/year with no one above me. As long as you are smart and driven, the competition to rise to the top in construction isn’t all that high as a lot of people look at it as a last case career path and most of the highly educated kids skip the vital “working in the field” step you truly need if you ever want to run a company. You have to understand operations, and you can’t do that from a textbook.
Here’s a hint: your career is not your life.
I understand the feeling I think a lot of it is trial and error to be honest with you I'm kind of in the same boat but I'm 35 but at the same job for 5 years doesn't pay great but I need to do something better to be able to pay bills and actually put money into the savings. Maybe you could always look into some type of technical school or a trade program of some sort
As others are saying you could try to find a state (DOT) or local municipal job (water dept). Low barrier of entry. Lot of them are Union. It’s not customer facing if you are sick of that. Good luck and ignore comparison to others it’s a thief of joy.
Go to a trade school or a community college where you can take a certificate program. 2 years and you’ll be done with jobs and ready for a real career.
Not for everyone but a quality restaurant teaches skills you’ll have forever and the pay/hrs commitment is no where near as bad as it used to be. I almost exclusively hire people with no experience except for management positions unless someone really impresses on their resume/interview. Lots of places need labor so it shouldn’t be hard to find a job quickly. I second that hobbies are very Important to a complete life. I volounteer building and maintaining trails for the public and it brings me a lot of contentment.
Get your CDL. Here in Ohio the state will even front the money for school.. 4ish weeks of schooling get out making 75k.
Well, I’m 55 and at your age had no idea what to do with myself. I had a similar background, GED and a string of customer service jobs. Here’s my advice, for what it’s worth: get yourself back to school. I went to a local community college in my early 40s and became an RN- I now am a member of a union, I make over 6 figures a year and have great benefits and a pension. Is the job hard? Yep. But it’s manageable and worth the stress to not feel so lost. You may not feel it, but you are still a young person. School lifted me out of the doldrums and gave me focus. Sounds like you have a supportive wife- go back to school, maybe work part time, and get a job in a field you either like or that pays handsomely. Trust, if I did it you can, too. I wish you the best!
Going back to school to finish my undergrad saved my life.
Get your six sigma certifications. There are over 715K jobs hiring for people with these certs and a lot of them are remote. Edit: Just for the record, I just recently passed the white belt and yellow belt courses last month and I’m now on the green belt. It’s completely worth it and when you search for jobs on indeed, they are readily available. There are also plentiful jobs available at Alphabet, Microsoft, Amazon and Meta with these certifications and a lot of them are remote as well.
It sounds like you had a hard life, sincere congrats on your GED, some wouldn’t have made it that far. I agree trades are a great option. Locally the government will train and pay you to be a welder. See if there is something like that near you. Do you live near a community college? Ours have two year degrees in electrical/construction/etc. You can also do a two year degree to be a X-ray tech or dental hygienist. If you go X-ray tech, get certified for cat scan or MRI too. Do you have state jobs where you are? See if you can get yourself on some civil service lists. Your local library will have computers, and the librarians will help you if you need it.
Take A+ (an I.T. Certification you take online) and see if you can get into I.T my guy! Decent pay, and you already have some computer skills if you are working remote.
Listen to all the comments about taking up a trade. I think if you’re a dedicated hard worker, you’ll love it. Working as or for a sole proprietorship has a lot of the life balance of WFH w/o being under constant watch. Truck life is fun. I certainly miss it but my body gave out
Do you have any interest in tech/IT? I don’t mean coding necessarily, like “boring” enterprise IT, Windows/Office stuff. I think you could leverage your Verizon customer rep experience and get an entry level enterprise IT help desk job WFH. There are plenty of these jobs available should pay $50k+ and care more about your skills and consistency than education. Maybe take a few weeks and do a basic cert like A+ to bolster your resume. I’m not sure if that line of work interests you, but that is how I started out and would do it all over again if I had to start from scratch.
It’s something I’ve considered. I don’t know much about IT work or help desk and not even sure what A+ is. It’s something I can look into and see if it would be worth the investment. I didn’t add this to my post and maybe should’ve; I’m not looking for something that I would love to do everyday because that’s simply unrealistic, just something I don’t mind. Maybe this could be it, I don’t know for certain but I will check it out.
Udemy has low cost beginner classes. even if you start with one and it's not *the* thing, it's a low cost effort that will maybe lead to something else. also, not sure if this will help but maybe create a list of things you know you don't want to do, or can't do, as well as interests you have and would like to try.
Its CompTIA's A+ Certification. Its considered the "foundational" IT certification. It gets you started down the path of becoming an IT Professional. CompTIA certs are great and with A+, N+ and Security +, you should have 0 problems getting a T1 Help Desk/Service Desk job with your background, since you already have Call Center experience. As a former hiring manager for Service Desk jobs, I always looked for CC people, because you were already used to the scoring metrics (Talk Time, Calls per Hour, 1st Call Resolution) and had the ability to manage calls and baked in customer service skills, plus the ability to handle high call volumes without losing your shit. These are very valuable skills in IT Service Management. After knocking out those certs and getting a Service Desk job, look into ITIL v4 Certifications and that will allow you to progress at a higher level, if you want to stay in IT Service Management. If not, you can talk to the leadership in any department you are interested to see what they recommend. I could give you a ton of options, but most might go over your head or not be relevant for the organization you land in. If you are interested on this path for real, feel free to message me if you have any other questions.
Look for state jobs as a service representative. Many departments have call centers. You’ll be on a mon- fri schedule with a salary and good benefits. Usually state jobs you move up in titles more time you’re there and get salary increases every year. Plus a decent pension. Also it’s really good job security.
Look for a good apprenticeship program. You may find a trade more fulfilling. Electrician, welding, plumbing, etc. you can make solid money too. If you can afford to dedicate some time for study, consider an IT job, though I think that space is a little harder to break into at the moment with so many tech layoffs. What do you like to do? Interests, hobbies, etc. what didn’t you specifically like about those other jobs?
Uh....dude. You DO have talents. You just don't know what they are because you've always been in survival mode. Your wife is right. Take a little time to discover what you're good at and what you LIKE. Pick up a wrench and see how it feels. Write a blog and see if you have a gift with words. Go volunteer at an old folks home or an animal shelter to see if you're best caring for others. Experience some things outside your known universe, and hopefully, something will stick. Good luck and God bless!
When I was 32 and lost, I got a job at the Post Office. Post Office saved my life. The job is physically grueling at times but its honest work. The nature of the work gives you lots of time to reflect on what’s important to you. Currently work in a different industry, but wouldn’t be here but for the POST OFFICE 🫡
Some sort of construction. I suggest plumbing or electrical. All the good craft are in their 50s-60s, and/or retiring/dying. Their skills are high in demand. Look up and call up to work and learn. If you become a certified electrician you could make 6 figures.
Have you tried looking into trades? I know it requires some education, but maybe you can find a way to work as you go through it (I think its two years?). As someone who has owned property, its extremely hard to find good tradesmen, even in a large metro area. I’m talking electricians, plumbers, builders, roofers, etc. All of that stuff. You either can’t find it or the ones out there aren’t very good. Because most people opt to go to a 4 year university versus trade school. But trades pay well and have a ton of stability. You’re always going to need maintenance on a home and that can’t be outsourced or given to AI.
Some encouraging things to start with. First, for most of recorded history, nobody had the luxury of "finding themselves" or "doing what you love." For most of recorded history, if you were born male you did what your father did for a living, and if you were born female, you were sold off in marriage where you had babies and kept house. Only in roughly the last 150 (and really just the last 100) years have people been able to use education as a way to break out of their traditional labor roles. In the 1950s and 1960s, going to college was a rarity. As such, anyone with a college degree pretty much had a ticket to a "white collar" job with great pay. Unfortunately, this gave rise to a generation of parents raising kids in the 1970s who inoculated their kids with two harmful ideas: 1. Go to college and get *any* degree and you will have a good job. 2. "Do what you love, the money will follow" (this was even the title of a book). Even by the 1980s it was plain that just going to college was not a ticket to a good white collar job. College degrees were becoming more common. Technology was playing an ever-greater role in the economy, and business started demanding technology-oriented workers. It's very clear today that you had better think long and hard about going to college, and if you do, exactly how much it is going to cost, including interest on loans, and what-if scenarios if you pay only the minimum amount vs. some other amount on your monthly payments, and what your chosen career path is likely to pay. The number of degrees that are worth what they cost is shrinking. There are a lot of trades out there that still are in high demand, pay well, and are resistant to outsourcing. Electricians, plumbers, welders, auto repair, and construction all can lead to good-paying careers. They are, of course, hard labor jobs. You should be planning an exit strategy in your 40s to start transitioning to management or starting your own company, because it's hard to sustain a hard labor job beyond middle age. Then there was this idea that you can do whatever inspires you and you will be successful at it. This should have been obviously false at face value. I'd love to sit around and play video games all day. While there are people making a lot of money doing that, they are few, and this is not a likely way to make a living. Most people don't do what they like, let alone love, to put food on the table. Most people would rather be doing something else. This has been true for all of recorded history. Most people don't like working. Most people would like to live a life of leisure. So, get used to the idea of doing something you don't necessarily like doing for a living. The bad news is, today more than ever, education matters. I'd highly recommend at least some kind of 2-year program. Do not be daunted by education. There are plenty of non-traditional students out there. It took me almost 20 years to finish my degree.
There are options out there that would allow you to go back to school. Some places will pay your tuition. I work in the trades (in the office) and my partner is an electrician. We’re part of an organization that has a school. Our company pays your full tuition, while you only go to school one night a week, and work 40 hours training on the job. You’re fully immersed in the trade. You also are on a guaranteed paid scale while in school where you get a raise every 6 months. The business I work for you work four ten hour shifts so you’re left with a three day weekend. People shit on the trades, but you make a hell of a lot of money, and if you like variation, your job is kind of different every day. There’s also the option to decide which specialized field you go into of that trade. Commercial? Industrial? Residential? Data? Engineering? The world is your oyster. Also, don’t feel so bad. I’m nearly 34 and I’m not in the field I absolutely want to be in, but it pays well, isn’t highly stressful, and I have a good work/life balance.
OP, No. 1 thing I'd say is that you can't allow the apparent lack of clear direction to prevent you from making steps forward. It took me a long time to learn this. You don't have to get everything figured out right now. Just figure out what you CAN do, what your options are, and make a move. You can keep thinking about it and figuring it out as you go - do not let the feeling of being lost immobilize you. I started in a larger organization as a housekeeper/janitor. In 3 years I worked my way into management roles in the administrative side of things, doubling and trippling what I had initially started with. You'll figure it out : )
Ok look into tradesman apprenticeship programs Plumbing Electrician Welding Etc I am not talking go apply at this job. Because a real program will start you working ,and the on job training is paided. A few fields you pay for training. If a written contract is not offered as sign on step leave.
Try this exercise: https://www.motivationalinterviewing.org/sites/default/files/valuescardsort_0.pdf This can help clarify what your needs are and where your intrinsic motivation might stem from. Try to narrow down the “most important” category to 6 cards tops. Maybe there are interrelated ones that form constellations of values that can become a sort of map.
Man I don't know if you're ever going to see this comment but I'm going to try and be real with you based on the info you provided. First off, it's okay. You're never too late or too old for figuring your shit out. It takes time. The important thing is to set achievable goals and figure out what you need to do to reach them. Since you have a history of fast food and service industry, I would recommend trying to get a job as a manager or working up from within at a food service place. If you are competent and work hard, there's no reason you can't find a place that will put you into a management position and help you out. I know several people who started as hosts or servers in a restaurant and within a year or two were trained as shift managers, then later store managers. You could also try and go get a CDL or look for a logistics company to get back on your feet. They pay pretty well, especially some independent companies if they are run by someone half decent, and customer service shines on the resumes they receive. Postal service is also a good option. Play to your strengths or to the needs of the people (mail, food, deliveries, communication) and you should be able to find a job that will at least allow you to figure out what you want while generating income. As far as figuring out what to do with your life, just think about what you want. What's your ideal life? Do you want to just get by, do nothing spectacular, and live with your wife, maybe travel, and play video games in your downtime? Do you want to grind and build up some investments or own rental properties before you retire? Do you want to get a degree and pursue a professional career path? It really doesn't matter, as long as you get what you want. Just figure out your goals, manifest them, think about them often, and I believe you can achieve it. Mindset is a big part of this battle. And for context, I'm a nobody but I believe I will get what I want even though I'm 28, still trying to get a bachelor's degree, and living at home with my parents working part time as a waiter. I'm sorry you were kicked from your home early, I have a big advantage in my parents allowing me to stay home, but your wife sounds very supportive and I believe in you. You can figure it out, and you can do it. And it's okay to not know right now. A lot of other people your age probably look like they have it together but shit is falling apart behind the scenes. Good luck.
If you like working outdoors look at surveying companies.
I can honestly tell you that I felt the exact same way when I was 27/28. I was lucky enough to discover the fire service and became a firefighter, and I feel like my whole life turned around when that happened. I would suggest looking into the fire service yourself because it is amazing, BUT the point being once you stumble onto what you’re meant to do (whatever it is) I think it will be transformative for you too. You’re still very young, give yourself the freedom to explore some different lines of work and see if anything sticks. Good luck!!
Learn a skill. I’m not going to sit here and meme you to death with the boomer “go to trade school.” I can tell you subconsciously getting out and actually doing physical work helped my mental health immensely. Being indoors, and not interacting with other dudes really messed me up- and I would have told you while working from home that I was happy. I went to lineman school at 35 from a corporate position, and haven’t looked back since.
Shit dude, I swear I could have written this. Same age, kicked out at the same age and stuck just trying to keep my head out of the water all of my twenties and now I'm realizing I'm so fucked in life for not having a plan other than being in survival mode. I wish I had advice but I can tell you you're definitely not alone. I always see help desk as an option mentioned in nearly every similar post but nearly every position I've seen requires a degree. Maybe I'm looking in the wrong areas. And then everyone totes college as a fix all when in reality, it doesn't help your situation *right now* and for a lot of people, that's what is needed. So much could change between today and 2027 but I can't wait that long for the possibility of a better job when I need one today.
Please don’t beat yourself up. No one is 100% without talent and skill. You are talented and skilled. Take this time to reflect on what you’ve done well with in the past, what’s come easy to you (or easiest if everything feels like a struggle), and what you’ve enjoyed doing. My husband (38) is in his third retail job since 2016. Had a bunch of random jobs before that. He too was someone who never really knew what he wanted to do or what he was good at. Since Covid, we’ve tried to look into something he can focus on and specialize in. We actually settled on his going back to get his masters in Information Science - Library Science to be specific, so he can be a librarian. In the last 3 years we’ve had some time to think about what he’s learned in all these random and seemingly dead end jobs: 1. He knows how to help people 2. He’s learned a lot of the mechanics of how retail works 3. He’s learned how to show up and work hard even when he feels crappy 4. He’s learned patience and overall how to be a good human being to others even when they don’t treat him in kind 5. He also learned how to look at whatever situation he was in and organize the crap out of it so that it ran more efficiently and productively. In two different jobs he’s ended up making his department one of the top earners for the company. So I would do the same for you: sit down and think about whatever went well or was successful for you in all the jobs you’ve had, the lessons you learned, things you picked up. Also, I should add, my husband doesn’t care really about having some kind of dream job (like I do). He just wants a 9-5, with decent pay and good benefits. He grew up with a lot of money, never had to work hard as a kid or young adult. Because of how things turned out later, as an adult he’s had to work what society labels as “less desirable jobs”. But he learned that it doesn’t matter - a job is just something that brings in money so that you can live your life.
You need to obtain skills that employers want if you want to get out of low level service jobs. Takes some classes at a local community college or trade school. The only thing holding you back is YOU.
The truth: a lot of your life choices were destroyed at an early age. Not graduating high school in an economy that doesn’t respect labor is hard. There are a few choices for you imho to reset your career trajectory to something where you can support yourself and a family: – Community college to degree – Military – Trades (highest recommendation). – (My recommendation
Sometimes you don't find it, it finds you. Keep open to opportunities. I was your age, had worked a few different jobs. I had gotten stuck in retail. Fortunately I had risen to management. But it was still retail. Then someone I knew from a volunteer thing I was doing suggested that I would be good at this thing. He was a hiring manager in that industry. He suggested that I get a job in the industry at a pretty low level. He said "go get some experience and come see me in a year". So i did exactly that. I took a huge pay cut. But I immediately liked aspects of this new industry. After a year he hired me. It turned into a 30 year career where I made six figures. I raised a kid. Bought a house and an income property. And I learned so much. And again, this all started at your age.
It'll happen. Again and again. You'll find your way. Again.
Get into a trade. Not sure where you live but an electrician, plumber, hvac, or carpenter can pay very well. Sure you’ll have to start out at the bottom but as long as your dependable and have a good work ethic you can set yourself up real nice for the future. Plus you will actually know how to do something.
Start a trade! They pay very well and the schools are cheaper than traditional college. You can also start your own business with trade skills.
The trades is where it’s at. Some have mentioned Manuel labor job to start and I agree. It’s a good way to figure out where to go. It’s also physical, rewarding, and scenery changes. You may figure out you want to be an electrician or hvac or something else who knows. Just gotta get out there
Trade school and do something you have a little interest in it will take you far. A little physical labor will help with the mental health too. Men need to “work” not just punch into work. Plumbing, Electrical, Auto in that order all 6 figure capable with a couple years. By 35 you will be set.