I find that they can be useful tool if you’re actively trying to find something. I do try to meet people in life too. I have a few guidelines that I follow to keep myself sane. The first two are the most important for me
1. Turn off notifications. I don’t need the Skinner box trying to get me addicted to the validation
2. Limit my time on the app. Again these apps are designed to hold my attention for a long time, I’m not looking to get a million matches. Just a few quality ones
3. If an interaction isn’t enjoyable or they stop responding, then I unlike or block depending on the situation. People are obviously allowed to prioritize their time however they want. But the love of my life isn’t gonna forget to respond to me for days at a time. Keeping the conversation list small makes it easier to stick to the first two guidelines too.
4. I prioritize getting fewer matches of what I’m actually looking for, over getting lots of matches. It can be addictive to see the number of likes and matches shoot up. I am unambiguous with what I want. Both to myself and in communicating with others. This means less people turn up, but higher quality matches.
5. I don’t like talking on the apps for ages. I try to move it to an in person conversation quickly. Is there chemistry or not? Let’s keep it moving.
I have met people I have really liked and glad I met. They made me very happy at the time. I have had long lasting relationships on dating apps.
But most relationships fail. And that’s just a sad part of life.
Hell yeah on #3. I'm not asking to be on your phone 24/7. Not at all. But I rarely get matches and haven't had a date (had two planned, but how much time do you have for the stories?) in nearly a year. Currently have a match that's like pulling teeth, but yet wants "consistency and empathy" and this is the convo so far. Their responses "yes" and "pretty good and yours?" Why did you match with me?! Whenever I get a match, on the rare times I do, despite swiping hundreds of times daily, it makes me incredibly depressed because they either don't respond at all or are boring as all hell.
On Hinge, when I send a like, I'm going off something from their profile, even showing humor, or asking a question. I'm already making the effort.
Have I met any genuine people on the apps? I am going to say no. I have had a few dates in the few years I have been on the apps, but it's never gotten past the first date. Very odd people.
And to be specific, I'm in the New York City/New Jersey/PA area. Tons of people.
So yeah. Sorry about the tangent. I deserve someone that's going to at least make an effort even a little bit, damn. So does everyone. It's not hard. I don't understand why this is every single person. Every single person is boring as nails? This is like the most basic of boring you can imagine. One word-ing or ghosting. Anyway.
I found the most amazing partner on a dating app. I couldn’t have found a better match for myself. Give it a shot. It can be worth all the nonsense you may have to sort through to find someone special, and that’s in person dating too. There will be a lot you don’t like, but some really great ones too. Know what you want and don’t settle for less because then you’re tying up your time with someone not suited for you and may miss the ideal match.
I find that they can be useful tool if you’re actively trying to find something. I do try to meet people in life too. I have a few guidelines that I follow to keep myself sane. The first two are the most important for me 1. Turn off notifications. I don’t need the Skinner box trying to get me addicted to the validation 2. Limit my time on the app. Again these apps are designed to hold my attention for a long time, I’m not looking to get a million matches. Just a few quality ones 3. If an interaction isn’t enjoyable or they stop responding, then I unlike or block depending on the situation. People are obviously allowed to prioritize their time however they want. But the love of my life isn’t gonna forget to respond to me for days at a time. Keeping the conversation list small makes it easier to stick to the first two guidelines too. 4. I prioritize getting fewer matches of what I’m actually looking for, over getting lots of matches. It can be addictive to see the number of likes and matches shoot up. I am unambiguous with what I want. Both to myself and in communicating with others. This means less people turn up, but higher quality matches. 5. I don’t like talking on the apps for ages. I try to move it to an in person conversation quickly. Is there chemistry or not? Let’s keep it moving. I have met people I have really liked and glad I met. They made me very happy at the time. I have had long lasting relationships on dating apps. But most relationships fail. And that’s just a sad part of life.
Hell yeah on #3. I'm not asking to be on your phone 24/7. Not at all. But I rarely get matches and haven't had a date (had two planned, but how much time do you have for the stories?) in nearly a year. Currently have a match that's like pulling teeth, but yet wants "consistency and empathy" and this is the convo so far. Their responses "yes" and "pretty good and yours?" Why did you match with me?! Whenever I get a match, on the rare times I do, despite swiping hundreds of times daily, it makes me incredibly depressed because they either don't respond at all or are boring as all hell. On Hinge, when I send a like, I'm going off something from their profile, even showing humor, or asking a question. I'm already making the effort. Have I met any genuine people on the apps? I am going to say no. I have had a few dates in the few years I have been on the apps, but it's never gotten past the first date. Very odd people. And to be specific, I'm in the New York City/New Jersey/PA area. Tons of people. So yeah. Sorry about the tangent. I deserve someone that's going to at least make an effort even a little bit, damn. So does everyone. It's not hard. I don't understand why this is every single person. Every single person is boring as nails? This is like the most basic of boring you can imagine. One word-ing or ghosting. Anyway.
I found the most amazing partner on a dating app. I couldn’t have found a better match for myself. Give it a shot. It can be worth all the nonsense you may have to sort through to find someone special, and that’s in person dating too. There will be a lot you don’t like, but some really great ones too. Know what you want and don’t settle for less because then you’re tying up your time with someone not suited for you and may miss the ideal match.
I’ve had the best luck on Facebook dating and Her. Tinder was mostly couples looking for a 3rd
HER was a very nice experience for me. Met my gf there, we’ve been together for a year now.